OMG! Cloud did it! And he was uke! O_O Well, it was Vincent after all… Poor little blonde thing, he didn't stand a single chance. Vincent seme-ness ftw! XD Well, I hope you'll read this chapter, even if you were traumatized in the last one… oops… Anyone think I'm sadistic enough to make Cloud actually fall on his sword? Accidentally, accidentally… LOL j/k I love him too much for that! Although I will torture him psychologically… Bad, bad Cloud… That'll serve him right. Muahahahaha!

Now what?

It took Cloud well over an hour to get to the building where Reno told him he lived. Not so much because it was far from the motel, or because Cloud took time dressing up and all. Or even because he needed a lot of mental control to keep from limping… The blonde just stopped several times, right in the middle of the street, wondering what he should do. He even turned around a few times to head towards his place, just before changing his mind again. He'd already been weak enough, he wouldn't just run away now. And he swore to himself he wouldn't cry again.

When he finally reached the building, he wondered why Reno always had been so embarrassed about his apartment. It wasn't the nicest or newest place around, but it was decent alright. Not what someone would expect from a rich Turk, but Reno wasn't a normal Turk after all…

Cloud took a deep breath before entering through the glass doors of the building. He could already see Reno, sitting on a bench near the elevator, elbows on his knees and forehead in his hands. He was wearing his Turk blouse and pants, and since he had rolled up his sleeves, Cloud could clearly see some relatively fresh cuts and bruises on his forearms… So it seemed he had really been on a mission after all. Gosh, he was already tired and hurt, and Cloud was gonna add a layer of hurting on top of it all… Why now? he asked himself. Why did I have to break down now? Almost as soon as he opened the door, Reno lifted his head up and smiled at him… but that smile seemed strained. It wasn't hard to see how tired and worn-out he was.

- "Hey" the redhead said with a little nervous laugh and running his hand through his hair as he got up and punched the button for the elevator. "Um, I… I tried to clean up a bit, but… I didn't, well, I hadn't really planned this, so…"

The blonde couldn't bear to look at him in the eyes, not yet, so he simply stared at the floor and other random things. At least Reno didn't insist, and they both kept quiet. Maybe it was just an impression, but to the ex-soldier, the Turk seemed to be uneasy also… When they left the elevator, on the top floor, Reno led them to a door about in the middle of the hallway and opened the door with a shy smile. Cloud was just biting down on his tongue to keep himself from: a) showing just how bad he felt, and b) saying something that he wouldn't have thoroughly thought out. He entered Reno's apartment.

In other circumstances, he would have smiled. This place reflected the redhead's personality so well… All in all, crammed and ordinary, but warm and inviting. A few things and clothes were scattered a bit everywhere in a very careless way, which didn't surprise the blonde a second, and Reno had left the curtains open. Despite feeling so crappy, Cloud allowed himself to admire the enchanting view of the city lights.

- "Well…" Reno said, again with that nervous laugh as he closed the door. "It's not much, in fact it's quite crappy, but… yeah. I know, it's quite like me. Lame and disorderly."

The ex-soldier would have smiled, but he could just manage to keep a somewhat normal look on his face.

- "Um, Cloud?" the redhead asked in a little voice as he gently grabbed the blonde's hand.

But Cloud was so nervous that it came as a reflex to take his hand away, an action which he immediately regretted, even if he didn't see Reno's expression. Cause he was doing his best to keep looking out the window.

- "I didn't force you to come here" Reno said in a low, sweet and reassuring voice which disconcerted Cloud to the highest level. "If you're… not feeling ok, I'm not asking you to stay."

The ex-soldier didn't react at all, because he had not a single idea as to how he should react.

- "If you decide to leave, well, um… I wanted to say… -sigh- I want to apologize" the redhead said, avoiding Cloud's questioning stare when the blonde turned around.

Cloud was sure he was about to hear Reno confess he'd been cheating… But what would Cloud say then? That he cheated also? He still loved the redhead, so much… For the umpteenth time, he cursed himself for being so stupid. He should have forgotten about everything wrong the Turk did… It wasn't so bad he couldn't be forgiven. Cloud doubted it was the case for him…

- "What for?" the blonde asked after a few seconds, feeling his heart beat even more wildly than before.

- "I… didn't trust you, I thought you'd judge me if I brought you here. I never had anyone come in here before…" the redhead said, resting his back against the wall near the window, staring at the floor. "I was really self-centered and all, and I didn't even call you when I was on this last mission..."

There was a long silence, and yes, it was an uncomfortable one. Cloud bit his tongue, feeling the guilt clutch at his chest and become even more present than before. He just realized the Turk hadn't said "yo" even once since he'd gotten here, and that made him even more nervous. He felt so lost, just plain pathetic… Then Reno let out a little laugh and stared at the ceiling, and it was then that the blonde saw small tears trailing down the redhead's cheeks, even if he had a little smile upon his lips.

- "Guess I'm a pretty crappy boyfriend, ne?" the Turk said, gulping.

It was too much for Cloud. He sat on the sofa, head bent down and forehead in one of his hands, blood rushing to his brain. How would he deal with this? Baka!

- "Cloud?" he heard Reno say in a small voice.

But the blonde couldn't bring himself to look at him… His lungs seemed to have a mind of their own, keeping as much air from getting in as possible, making his breathing quite shallow… which didn't help his heart get back to a normal beat. Soon he felt Reno sit beside him and place a hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off.

- "I'm sorry Reno…" he whispered.

The redhead didn't say anything, nor did he try to touch the blonde again. Cloud wondered for a moment, as he tried to breathe normally, if he should just say it now. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad as keeping it all for himself? In the end, he decided to confess. He'd already done enough stupid and wrong things, he wasn't gonna lie on top of that.

- "I just… I just… cheated on you, Reno" he said in a low voice.

- "I know."

Cloud opened his eyes wide, and he was so surprised he even forgot about breathing. He was sure his heart had stopped for a moment too… He lifted his head up to stare at Reno, who sustained his stare this time and had a little, forced smile on his lips.

- "Wh… what-"

- "I said I know" Reno said in a soft but a little broken voice.

- "How… just… wh-"

- "You left the bar just as I was about to get there… You should have seen your face… When I got in, Tifa told me you left to take some fresh air. I just couldn't help myself, I followed you. And when I saw you get into that motel room… well, I knew. And I didn't stay longer cause I… didn't need any more to know you… slept with someone else."

Cloud was completely at a loss for words, and he never had been this confused and embarrassed.

- "But, if… if you knew…" he finally began asking, his voice shaky, "then why… did you invite me here?"

Reno reached for his hand as he lowered his eyes and this time, the ex-soldier didn't push him off.

- "Of course I was mad, I mean… but… I still love you" the Turk said. "Gods how I love you… I was just hoping you'd tell me, be honest. I… was ready to forgive you if you told me. So… that's why I called you."

Cloud bit his lip again as he felt about to cry again. So that's how much Reno loved him… How could he have ever doubted his faithfulness? It seemed such a childish and selfish thing to do now that he knew.

- "I… Reno, I'm sorry" the blonde said as he lowered his eyes. "I… don't want to make up excuses, but… I just… I thought you had-"

- "Tsst, I don't wanna hear it" the Turk said as he placed a finger against the ex-soldier's lips. "I don't care why you did it, even if I can easily guess. I don't care how many times you did it, either-"

- "It was just this once, I swear!"

- "… and I don't give a fuck who you did it with. But there's one thing I care about…"

Cloud lifted his eyes to see Reno's face as serious as ever.

- "Do you still love me?"

- "Yes" Cloud answered immediately, gulping. "I'm sorry, I… really love you…"

Reno slowly pulled him closer until they were holding each other as close and tightly as they could.

- "That's all I wanted to hear" the redhead said in a soothing voice, stroking the blonde's hair.

Cloud felt like he wasn't completely himself anymore… He knew he'd always been weak, but not that much. And he had to admit, he didn't feel as seme anymore. After all, he'd just been uke… Well, if it was apparent, Reno didn't seem to care for any of that, cause he kept holding him and stroking his hair. It seemed the Turk was the more mature of the two at the moment… What a weird situation.

- "I'm sorry" Cloud whispered after a moment, once he'd managed to control his breathing.

The redhead slowly pushed him back until he could look at him and he placed his hands on the blonde's cheeks, smiling.

- "It's ok, it's all forgiven."

Cloud managed to give him a little smile back, with a little sigh of relief. This could have been so much worse…

- "I'm sor-"

- "Stop saying that, it's useless…"

- "It's ok if… if you're mad and-"

- "Of course I am" Reno said, rolling his eyes.

- "… if you wanna hit me-"

- "I can?"

- "Well, I mean-"

But the blonde didn't have time to say a single word more, because Reno had slapped him, hard. Maybe Cloud shouldn't have proposed this, especially with the redhead already having a predisposition for mood swings like that, and he was tired now on top of it all… Too late though. Reno's face was really serious and menacing now, and Cloud understood just then how the guy could make people be afraid of him.

- "I am mad!" the redhead said, beating on the blonde's chest with his fists, hard enough for it to hurt. "What, so I'm not good enough for you anymore? You've had your share, like all the others, so you just dump me and go looking elsewhere? And then I am the bitch? Selfish bastard!"

The ex-soldier had been only half defending himself, thinking that after all, he had deserved it. Reno finally slowed down after a moment and took a moment to breathe. When the Turk gripped Cloud's shirt, the blonde could feel the fast heartbeat in the redhead's fingers…

- "I'm sorry, Reno… I love you…" Cloud whispered, gulping.

- "Know what?" the Turk asked in a low voice, as menacing as the look on his face.

The ex-soldier felt his heartbeat rise a little more...

- "If you ever do it again, I won't give a fuck about your apologies or your excuses" Reno said, trying to give Cloud a little shake. "And it would really be appreciated if you stopped being so jealous and possessive. Damn, I've never cheated on you! If anything I should act like that!"

It hurt, it really did hurt to hear that… because it was all true. Cloud gulped again and sustained Reno's stare, although with difficulty, as he looked for the right words. He really loved Reno, he didn't want to lose him… so he'd do his best.

- "I'll try" was all the blonde found to say.

The redhead's face softened, though it still seemed serious, and he stroked Cloud's cheek gently with a thumb.

- "I just… don't want to always watch what I'm doing" he said. "You don't have to be jealous, I don't like anyone else… not like I love you."

The blonde nodded faintly as he lowered his eyes, and Reno got a little closer… Cloud looked at him again and saw the redhead had his trademark smirk upon his lips, once again…

- "Now, if you really love me, you could at least show it to me…"

He slowly closed the distance between the two of them and Cloud closed his eyes when their lips met. He immediately pulled Reno in even closer, a hand behind his neck and another on the small of his back. The redhead happily responded, wrapping his arms tightly around the ex-soldier's neck, and Cloud didn't hesitate a second to push his tongue into Reno's mouth. It was nothing sweet; that kiss was rough, aggressive, possessive, with their lips, teeth and tongues clashing against each other. The redhead was already moaning, and soon he slipped one of his hands between the two of them and started unzipping Cloud's pants, but the blonde immediately grabbed his wrist and pulled away from the kiss.

- "What's wrong?" Reno asked in a concerned voice.

- "I… don't feel like it" the ex-soldier replied almost in a whisper.

- "I'm sorry…" the Turk said.

- "It's not your fault."

Cloud sighed and closed his eyes, then slowly pulled Reno into a hug. It felt so good to be in his arms… to hear his breathing, smell his scent… He'd been so close to losing all that…

- "Cloud… I lied to you…"

The blonde tried to slowly push away the redhead so he could look at him in the eyes, but Reno wouldn't budge. Cloud gave up and waited… The redhead finally gulped and took a deep breath.

- "I… I do want to know… who you did it with…" he said in a shaky voice.

The ex-soldier wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel at the moment… but he knew he had to answer. After sighing deeply, he said:

- "Vincent Valentine."

For a long while, Reno stayed silent. And then he snorted.

- "I thought the guy was straight…" he said as he pulled back to look at Cloud.

- "He was drunk."

The Turk then slapped the blonde's cheek, hard enough for it to really sting.

- "I'm sorry Reno!" Cloud said in an exasperated voice.

- "It's not fair!" Reno almost shouted.

The blonde's expression turned to "confused" as he looked back at Reno, who looked as hurt as angry.

- "I've tried I dunno how many times to get him to sleep with me, even on nights when he was so drunk I'm sure he could hardly remember his name, and then you turn up with a few drinks and you get him like that?! Unfair!"

This was to be expected, coming from Reno: something completely unexpected. So now Cloud was lost, all the way.

- "Everyone likes you so much, Mr Perfect, and I'm just the Turk bitch…" the redhead said, punching Cloud in the chest again as he bit down on his lip.

- "I'm not perfect and you're not a bitch" Cloud hurried to say, grabbing the Turk's shoulders.

- "What would you know about that, huh?"

- "Even if you were… I'd still love you."

Just as Reno was about to reply something, a cell phone vibrated somewhere in the apartment. The redhead sighed and got up, then pushed a few papers on the counter aside and grabbed his cell phone to answer it.

- "Yo, who the fuck's callin' at that time of ni- oh, hey boss. Huh? … Um, yeah… Tomorrow?! … The fuck… When?! No way, man, I go to sleep at that- right, got it."

The Turk hung up and Cloud could see from his face that he was struggling not to throw his phone against the wall.

- "What a bastard…" he muttered as he walked back towards the couch.

- "Another mission tomorrow?" Cloud asked, even though he knew the answer.

Reno just snorted and let himself flop on the couch, rubbing his forehead.

- "We should take care of your wounds then" the blonde said.

- "They're fine…"

- "Obviously not. Where do you keep your bandages?"

The redhead sighed and got up, heading for the bathroom. Cloud waited for him to come back. It took quite a while, and that intrigued the blonde.

- "Had you really hidden it that well?" he asked, trying to relieve a little tension.

- "No, I was simply considering committing suicide" Reno answered in a sarcastic voice as he sat on the couch.

The blonde didn't get the sarcasm right away though, and looked at the redhead with a worried look.

- "It was a joke, yo" Reno said with a sigh as he opened his first aid kit and fumbled inside.

The blonde rolled his eyes and took the alcohol from the redhead's hands. The Turk sighed again and gave him the bandages as well. Cloud took Reno's arm and started carefully disinfecting the cuts and scratches on his right forearm and hand. The both of them stayed silent, and when the blonde looked at the Turk's face, he saw he was staring blankly at the wall. He thought it was really ridiculous, how having cheated on Reno wasn't so bad for the Turk, but having cheated on him with Vincent, now that had damned him. Ah well…

- "How did you get all these cuts?"

- "Fighting."

Ok, so that wasn't calling for an engaged conversation…

- "What kind of weapon can do that?" the blonde asked as he pointed a large groove in the palm of the Turk's hand, which looked like a burn more than a cut.

- "Wasn't a weapon."

Definitely not fruitful. So the ex-soldier shut up as he tried to find something to say, the right thing to say. But of course, with Reno, the right thing to say wasn't what it would be for anyone else. It was pretty arbitrary. So then, Cloud thought, maybe he should try to say something he thought he should never say…

- "You know, if… if you want to… well, maybe I could, uh…"

He could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks just thinking about it. He'd have to say it in one go or he'd never be able to do it.

- "Maybe I could ask Vincent for a threesome."

He couldn't believe he'd actually said that. It sounded so wrong… He could see from the corner of his eye that Reno slowly turning his head towards him and knew he'd have to lift his stare from the bandages to look at him. He was sure he'd get slapped or beat up again… and then Reno spoke.

- "You'd really do that?"

So it had been the right thing to say after all… He'd never understand that Turk.

- "I can at least try…" Cloud said, shrugging.

- "And you… wouldn't mind? I mean, you wouldn't be jealous?" Reno said, with a face and voice that reminded Cloud of a love struck schoolgirl asking her crush out.

- "Of course I'll be jealous, but… I mean, if you want it…" the blonde said, lowering his eyes. "And… if it can make up…"

Reno lifted his hand to caress Cloud's cheek and smiled sweetly at him.

- "Wow, shock therapy! Big progress in very little time…" the redhead said with a little laugh. "But I don't want a threesome, hun, I just want you. It's enough… Well, at times I think it's even more that enough. More than I can handle, even…"

The ex-soldier smiled back and the redhead bent forwards to kiss him after letting out another little laugh. He gently moved his lips against Cloud's, and the blonde felt a good part of his stress disappear. When Reno pulled back, the blonde got back the bandaging of his boyfriend's wounds. He was just starting to tend to the redhead's left hand when the guy started speaking again, in a little voice and with a little nervous laugh this time.

- "I, um, have a… stupid question to ask you…"

Cloud kept doing what he was doing, but lifted his eyes to Reno to look at him, intrigued.

- "Well…" the Turk continued, avoiding the blonde's stare. "Was he… was he better than me?"

Reno was now looking at the ex-soldier as if fearing to get a slap in the face… The ex-soldier felt his heart sink. How was he supposed to answer that? He would never even have thought about thinking about something like that… He put down the bandages and slowly pulled the redhead into a hug, to reassure him and also to let him some time to wonder how he should answer.

- "Oh, Reno…" he whispered, closing his eyes and gulping.

The Turk was nuzzling his forehead into Cloud's neck and he said in a little voice:

- "I want an honest answer…"

- "Well…" Cloud started saying in a hesitant voice. "I, um, hadn't thought about it, and… um… it can't… it can't really be compared…"

- "What do you mean-"

Ah well, thought the blonde as Reno slowly pushed back to stare at him. So much for trying to bring it with subtlety…

- "Um, so, you mean…" the redhead started with a stunned look. "You mean…"

There was a moment of silence, and then the Turk burst out laughing as he wrapped his arms around Cloud's neck, stroking his hair. The blonde thought he'd never felt more ashamed.

- "Wow, the guy must be really good if he topped with you!" Reno said, still laughing.

The ex-soldier was only half-heartedly holding on to his boyfriend, and when the Turk pulled back again to look at him straight in the eyes, it was apparent he'd noticed.

- "Hey, Cloud" Reno said in a gentle voice, stroking the blonde's reddening cheeks. "I don't think of you any differently than before… I don't care, it doesn't matter. You're still my Cloud Strife…"

He smiled at the ex-soldier, who really forced himself to faintly smile back. Then, once again, Reno's smile turned to a smirk.

- "What?" the blonde asked, his little smile a little less fake now.

- "Hmm, I just had this mental image of you sandwiched between a wall and Vincent…"

- "Pervert" Cloud said with a widening smile.

- "Oh you love it" Reno told him, getting closer.

- "I can't deny that…" the blonde said, closing his eyes.

Their lips met and they started kissing slowly, softly, and Cloud wrapped his arms a little more tightly around the redhead's waist to pull him closer. And it was then that he noticed…

- "Reno…" he said, almost in an exasperated voice.

- "What?" the Turk said, pouting and trying to play innocent. "I can't always control my body."

Yup, Reno was hard.

- "I'm… I'm sorry, but I really don't feel like it…" the blonde said, turning his eyes away.

- "Yeah, I bet it's cause your ass hurts, huh?" Reno said with a little smirk.

Cloud felt the blood rise to his cheeks again… But now was the best time to ask that question that had so bothered him earlier.

- "Yeah, well… speaking about that… Um… I was wondering… uh… does it… does it hurt you when we have sex?"

Reno offered him a gentle smile and let out a little sigh.

- "If that can reassure you… it's nothing like the first time you poor thing, that I can tell you, and I swear. It does hurt, but just a little. And anyway, you're so good that the stinging feeling never lasts long."

He swiftly kissed Cloud's lips and then kept smiling at him. The blonde felt a little better now… The Turk didn't seem to be lying. He smiled back and nodded, then brought Reno's face closer so he could kiss him, and the redhead didn't resist a bit. After a short moment, they pulled away and Cloud let out a little sigh.

- "You should go to sleep, or you'll be tired tomorrow…" he told his boyfriend.

Reno sighed too and ran a hand in his hair, closing his eyes.

- "I suppose…" he said.

He tied up the bandage on his hand that Cloud hadn't finished making, then grabbed the first aid kit and alcohol to go put them away in the bathroom. The ex-soldier ran a hand over his face and then through his hair, then sighed and got up.

- "Yo, what are you doin'?" Reno asked as he got out of the bathroom.

- "I'm… going back home…" Cloud answered in a hesitant voice.

- "But…" the redhead began saying. "Don't you want to sleep with me?"

And then Reno seemed to realize what he'd said…

- "Uh, I mean, no I didn't mean that! Not like, sex, I know you don't want to… I meant… sleep. Like, siesta. Overnight resting. Here. In my apartment."

The blonde let out a little laugh. Reno would always be Reno… and Cloud could never resist Reno. Yup, with him, resistance is futile. And he felt like he'd have to do so much to really be forgiven, if he ever could be… So he nodded and then looked around the place.

- "Um, ok… Where's the bed?"

At this, he saw the Turk's cheeks flush red, and he was now looking away.

- "I… can sleep on the floor, you can have the couch…" he said in a nervous voice. "I don't mind, I don't want to be alone tonight…"

Cloud smiled as he took a closer look at the sofa.

- "Uh, Reno? This couch unfolds, you know?"

The redhead's face was stunned now, and he looked at where Cloud was looking.

- "Don't tell me that all these years you've had it you didn't know…" the blonde said, unable to hide his amusement, a little smirk upon his lips.

Reno didn't answer, his back to Cloud as he seemed to examine the sofa.

- "To think I'm the blonde…" Cloud teased.

The Turk then turned around to smile widely at him.

- "Ha, just kidding! Of course I know it can unfold. It's just that… it makes a very small bed… We'll be cramped if we both sleep on it."

It was apparent to the ex-soldier that even though Reno was smiling, he was still embarrassed.

- "It's not like we could sleep any closer than we usually do…" the blonde said casually, shrugging. "We don't need a king-sized bed."

- "You… you sure you don't mind?"

- "Of course."

Reno smiled a much more sincere smile now and Cloud reached out for him to pull him into a tight embrace.

- "Thank you" the redhead sighed, his arms tightly wrapped around the blonde's neck. Cloud snorted at this.

- "After all I've done to you, you shouldn't thank me… I should thank you."

- "Ah just shut up and let me enjoy this" Reno said, tightening his hold onto the blonde.

- "I'll spend the night here, Reno…" Cloud sighed. "You'll have all the time you want to "enjoy this"..."

The redhead slowly loosened his embrace and finally let go of him. He smiled and then turned to walk towards the wardrobe where he fumbled for a while before getting out a large blanket and sheets. Cloud busied himself unfolding the couch during that time, then helped Reno cover it with the sheets. Reno threw him the blanket, then grabbed a pillow and closed the wardrobe.

- "I've just got one. Lucky, we never need two pillows anyway" he said with a wide smile.

Cloud let out a little laugh as the redhead launched the pillow towards him and he caught it. Reno then went to turn off the lights. After placing the pillow on the bed, Cloud stripped to his underwear, along with the Turk, then he lied down, wincing a little... He'd be so sore in the morning… Reno soon lied down beside him. The blonde spread the blanket over them and the redhead rested his cheek on Cloud's shoulder, and a hand on his chest.

Cloud kissed his forehead and wrapped an arm around him, then looked at the ceiling and walls of the apartment. He thought it was beautiful… Reno had left the curtains open, so the city lights below flooded in through the window and colourfully illuminated the place, though not so much as to keep them from falling asleep.

He felt so bad for what he did to his boyfriend, but still he felt so good right now… Reno did seem to be honest in his forgiveness, and, really, this apartment felt like home already. In his opinion, the redhead had no reason to be embarrassed. He'd make sure the Turk knew that, and he'd do all in his possible to get his boyfriend's trust back.