Three days later, Will poured himself a glass of wine before settling onto the couch next to Grace. It had been a long day for both of them, and he was glad to finally have a quiet, peaceful evening alone with his best friend of almost 16 years. As Will's arm snaked around Grace, she rested her head on his shoulder and stared at the television, not really paying attention to what was on it.
"I feel like you're hiding something from me," she stated, suddenly. Will frowned.
"What are you talking about?"
"Well it's just that ever since you got back from Paris, you've been acting strange. And you've barely even mentioned the guy you went over there with," she sat up against the edge of the couch, staring into his eyes. "What happened there, Will?"
"Grace," Will faux-chuckled, "nothing happened. Really, I'm fine." He emphasized the last word as he pulled his arm from around her and stood to go into the kitchen. Grace watched him walk away, taking a sip of his wine.
"Ok," she mumbled, not convinced. "But when you're ready to talk, you know where to find me."
As he uncorked the wine bottle over the kitchen sink, Will sighed to himself. Grace knew him too well to not be able to sense that he was troubled. Karen's ultimatum had put a lot of pressure on him in the last few days. Of course he still loved her, and wanted nothing more than to make a life with her, here in New York. But he also knew how much strife that would cause between the four friends. He had lost Grace before, although only for brief periods of time, but he still knew how much that hurt. He had a good feeling that her reaction to the news that he was in love with Karen and had slept with her on several occasions would not be positive, and he didn't want to lose her again. But he also didn't want to lose Karen. But Karen had let him down; she had abandoned him when he thought she would stick by him forever. If he was going to be with her, he needed to know that she was in it for the long haul. He hated feeling like he had to choose between them, but the rational side of him won out and he had made his decision. He would stay here with Grace tonight.
"Grace?" Will asked from the kitchen.
"Yeah?"
"Did you know that Karen is taking hormone injections?" he asked, remembering the weirdness in the elevator the previous day. Grace looked at him, puzzled.
"How did you know about that?"
"Well," Will paused. "Jack told me." Lie.
"Oh," Grace considered his answer. It seemed to make sense, Jack was especially close to Karen, so it wasn't an illogical step to assume she would have told him about her procedure. "She's been taking them to prepare to have some of her eggs removed," Grace explained, now joining Will in the kitchen. She sat at the round table as he leaned against the counter in front of her.
"Why would she do that?" he considered the possibilities in his head.
"Well I guess because she wants to have a baby someday, and doesn't know how much longer it will be possible," Grace shrugged. "When I asked her about it, she said 'just in case'. Although now that Stan is out of the picture, I don't know who she is planning to get to father a child. She had the procedure yesterday, she was out of the office today."
Will's stomach turned. He knew "just in case" wasn't just in case she ever wanted to have a baby. It was in case he showed up at the fountain, and they decided to try for a baby in the future. The realization hit him that Karen must really be serious about him - she was making every possible preparation for them to share a life together, something that the decidedly selfish Karen had rarely done. Will was suddenly choked up.
Carefully, he recounted the previous four years in his head. The moment he had met Karen, he knew she was special. She was beautiful beyond a doubt, any man - gay or straight - would acknowledge that. Her confidence and her smile were magnetic, drawing people in to her in an almost unexplainable way. Yes, he had taken a very strong liking to Karen right from the start. But he soon realized that she had a devilish side, the side that made people cringe when she made a remark about an outfit or a lifestyle. She was uncensored, perpetually intoxicated, and yet still perpetually intoxicating.
It didn't take long for Will to decide that he shouldn't like Karen. Besides, she was such a horrible assistant that she probably wasn't going to be around for long anyways. He didn't have a hard time playing like he detested Karen, but as soon as a year had passed and she hadn't gone away - in fact, she had gotten closer to him and Grace and Jack - he began to worry. He knew his secret feelings for her were more than friendly, and he silently berated himself every time his body reacted to her cleavage or her tight skirts. And so he knew the only thing for him to do was to push her away even further.
When he became her husband's lawyer, and thus her lawyer, his charade started to go downhill. And when he found himself trapped in the Virgin Islands with her, it melted away completely. His feelings were intensified when he realized that the front she put up towards him was also quickly crumbling as they spent their days together and truly got to know each other. But she was married, and in fact, was at the time supposed to be working on her broken marriage. Will knew he was providing a huge distraction to that, but he wanted to badly to be with her that he didn't care.
And then they had sex. Passionate, romantic, mind-blowing sex. Several times that first night, in fact. Suddenly, everything he had ever thought he might be feeling about Karen was confirmed. Suddenly, he was questioning his previous identity. And suddenly, they were faced with enormous problems.
Nothing was ever the same after that. He couldn't look at her the same way, talk to her the same way, or even think about her the same way. Mailing his journal to her along with his confession had been a huge weight off his chest, but he had been a fool to think that it would ease his longing for her. When she had returned, with a new wedding ring on her finger and a smile on her face, he tried to make himself feel happiness for her, but in reality he was feeling anything but. For the next year, he paid very close attention to her every move. When they spoke he nearly drowned in her words, when she laughed a million tiny arrows pierced his heart. When they found themselves alone in Grace's stalled elevator the first time, he had been ready to take her until he passed out in her arms, his body exhausted and his heart satisfied.
But he couldn't. And he couldn't keep living the way he had, observing her in silence and loving her in secret. So he had tried to move on. He had dated a few guys, even hopped a jet to Paris for one. But within the first ten minutes of any date he went on, it became painfully obvious that none of these men could ever satisfy him the way Karen had. And when she called him in his Paris hotel room, it had seemed too good to be true - and when she told him that she loved him just as much as he loved her, his heart could've burst with joy. And when he had looked at the false pregnancy test, that told him she was carrying his child, the world began turning again. For her. His world was turning for her. And although she had hurt him, and although he knew they would be hurting their friends by being together, there was no other option. There was no other way he could continue to live.
He looked at the clock: 10:24. He still had time.
"Grace," he spoke her name softly, looked down. "I'm ready to talk."