Two Days Ago

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"Did you hear about Shepherd's tumor guy?" Cristina descended on the others at the nurses' station, waiting for their assignments from Bailey. "I want in."

"Cristina, you want in on everything. Do you think maybe someone else could get a chance?" Izzie piped up.

She was leaning against the desk. Her comments to Cristina, but her eyes were on George. She just wanted things to back to the way they were. She needed someone to talk to, but things were awkward between her and George since their 'break-up.' Alex was stilled pissed about the 'O'Malley over me' thing. And there was no way she could talk to Meredith or Cristina with out the other finding out and becoming so judgmental. Those two could do whatever among themselves, but when someone else does it, they were so critical. Plus, Izzie was still irked that they went on the planned Burke-Cristina honeymoon without her. After all, her fiancé died, so should she have been on that trip as well to share the misery.

"No." Cristina bluntly replied.

"Bet you wish you were still with Shepherd so he could pick you," Alex said to Meredith.

Meredith shrugged her shoulders. A look passed over her eyes as she hoped he would choose her anyway. Things had been on a distant friendly side between them. They were over the 'just sex' thing. Definitely passed the 'relationship' thing. But still, there was something there.

"The thing protrudes off his face. Dude, there's no way that guy can make it," Alex said.

"Shut up." Izzie snapped.

"Guys. . ." George started, but Bailey and Shepherd walked up.

"As you all know, I have an important surgery scheduled for today. It will be long and tedious. I hope each one of you has had a good night's sleep," Dr. Shepherd smiled scanning the faces of the competitors.

Bailey stepped in. "One of you nobodies will be assisting Dr. Shepherd for the next 2 days—"

"Me!" Cristina exclaimed, "Dr. Bailey—"

"Actually . . ." Dr. Shepherd scanned the residents' faces again and lingered on Meredith's. ". . . Stevens will be assisting." He smiled, his eyes watching Meredith's reaction.

Izzie looked up surprised. She had been lost in her thoughts. "Me?"

Meredith turned around. Her face showed nothing but disappointment.

"Grey. Karev. To the pit. O'Malley. With me. Yang. Clinic." Bailey turned. "NOW!"

Everyone scattered, exchanging spiteful glances.

"Morning, Dr. Shepherd," Izzie followed him as he turned. She knew that this was just a ploy to get to Meredith.

"Stevens, Carl Ryder, is someone I care deeply about. This tumor has taken everything from him and he still stays positive. I need someone who can understand him," Shepherd's eyes met with confused brown ones. For a second he was taken aback by the depth behind them. "Problem?"

"No. I'd be happy to assist." Maybe not because of Meredith after all.

Shepherd opened the door to patient's room and Izzie held her face to what she was about to see. A man in his thirties turned to face them.

"Dr. Shepherd." He saw Izzie and his smile widened. Infectiosly. "Who is this?" He looked her up and down the only way he could.

Izzie had to take a breath. He was a handsome man except for disfiguring bulge on the right side of his face. His sandy hair and hazel eyes made him a knockout. Izzie smile back.

"Morning, Carl. How are you feeling?" Shepherd asked.

"Like I'm about to get my face back."

"That's right. This is Dr. Stevens. She will be assisting me later today for your surgery. After we remove your tumor, Dr. Sloan will start to—"

"Make me hot again," Carl laughed.

Izzie liked him. His temperament set the atmosphere at ease.

Shepherd laughed. "Dr. Stevens will come by later to prep you for surgery. Any questions?"

"Dr. Hottie will prep me, huh? Nice." Carl drummed his fingers on the armrests.

"Carl--"

"I know. Be respectful, but the tumor controls everything," he quipped.

"Stevens," Shepherd called as he walked out the room.

Outside, Izzie ran up to him. "Dr. Shepherd, a tumor that size—"

"I know. He knows." Shepherd looked into her concerned eyes. He lost his thoughts as he wondered if anyone would look at him like that ever again. "I'm giving you some time now to go brush up on the procedure." Shepherd walked down the hall leaving Izzie standing in her spot.

_______________

"Do you like walks in the park?" Carl asked giving Izzie a crinkling, heartbreaking smile.

"For the last time, I will not go out with you," Izzie laughed as she drew his blood.

"Can't blame a guy for trying. Although after this, you will beg me to take you out. You wait and see my dashing looks."

"Yeah, right," Izzie smiled.

Carl was silent as Izzie listened to his breathing.

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"Nothing. Your breathing is fine," Izzie looked at him. He was no doubt a heartbreaker. His voice was pure honey.

"Not with me. With you. You smile, but it doesn't reach your pretty eyes."

"I—" Izzie was taken aback by his bluntness.

"Tell me the truth." Carl smiled. It was infectious.

"I'm the doctor. We worry about you. Not the other way around."

Carl shook his head. "I'd like to know that my doctor is all here and not thinking about something else as she cuts into my brain. Seriously spill. I've become a girl in gossip. I'm man enough to admit it. Life is so boring in a hospital bed."

"I'm just tired that's all."

"Tired of what?"

"I—" Izzie didn't have to talk, but she needed an ear. "I'm tired being there for everyone else, and no one's there for me. I take care of my friends because they are my friends and because I'm a good person . . ."

"But?"

"But the truth is, I can't tell them things as easily. And I want to take care of someone because it makes me happy, not just because we live in the same house. I want someone take care of me in the same way." Izzie spilled.

"You need a man. I'll take care of you. You take care of me. We would make a hot couple. Imagine our kids. They'd have looks to kill before they could even walk," Carl laughed. He stopped and then grabbed her hand. Squeezing it. "Give it time. And give me a chance after the surgery."

Izzie smiled, but her heart was becoming heavy. His playful banter reminded her of something else. Someone else. And she couldn't be in the room. "I'll be back."

Izzie stepped outside the room and nearly collided with Shepherd.

Derek had come to seel Carl when he heard Izzie talking. He never knew that she felt this way about her roommates. He had always thought they were so close. In all his time with Meredith or working with Izzie, he never knew there was so much to the model. He somehow missed it. Assuming she was superficial because of her looks, never knowing the heart inside.

"Dr. Shepherd, I need a favor."

"A favor?" He noticed her. Truly.

"Yeah, I think I deserve it."

Derek scoffed to match her tone. "Why should I grant you the favor?"

"Because you and Meredith—"

"Are no longer together."

"True, but you ate my food. Things I made, even when they weren't for you."

Derek smiled. She had a point. "What?"

"I want off this case."

Derek looked shocked. "Stevens, this is—"

"I know what this is, but I can't do it. He's so—"

"He reminds you of Den—" Derek nodded understandingly.

"Don't say it. Please don't."

"Stevens, I refuse to take you off this case. You will always have people that remind you of him. You may not be able to save all of them, but you have to try. Carl Ryder deserves the best. As your attending, I am ordering you to the OR and watch me save his life." Derek turned and walked away, leaving Izzie rooted to her same spot again.

_______________

"It's a beautiful day to save lives," Derek said. "Scalpel."

Derek began the grueling surgery. It took hours and they were making some progress when the bleeding began. Izzie tried to stop the bleeding.

"His heart rate's dropping."

"Damnit!" Derek cursed.

Five minutes later, Carl lay dead on the table with his face half open.