Just a filler . . .

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Izzie got onto the elevator ready to go home. She inhaled and exhaled loudly, trying to expel everything she was feeling. Although she felt great and energized, she couldn't help but think what had she done to Meredith?

When the elevator bell dinged, she stepped off into the hospital's main entrance only to see him.

He was waiting. He was waiting with his coat slung over his arm. He was waiting for her. Waiting to give her a signal about their next rendezvous. But mostly, she knew he was waiting for an explanation. An explanation for her actions since their steamy tryst in the hospital surplus supply room.

For a second, she was distracted from her mission of avoiding him. She was admiring his silhouette. His form that she wished she could forever wake up beside. The way his hair framed his face and how she ran her fingers through the softness when they were together.

But she didn't want to face him now. She wasn't ready to explain her actions to him. She couldn't express what she was feeling to him without causing a rift in their lives concerning everything else. And she didn't know how to justify her actions to him because she couldn't tell him what she was really feeling.

Well, technically she could, but when she was around him, he sent her on a high she didn't want to come down from. And every moment she was with him, she forgot about the box she had put her Meredith's Derek emotions and guilt in.

Derek turned and caught sight of her. His eyes looked at her questioningly asking her to come around later. To clarify things. And he added his smile to tempt her. The make-you-lose control of yourself smile, and he meant it because she had just made his day better.

But though, Izzie wanted to run and fling her arms around his neck, she couldn't. And when he made a discreet motion for her to meet him around the corner of the hospital, she pretended she didn't see. She could feel his confusion radiating off of him.

But she was saved. She was never glad to see Mark Sloan until that moment.

"Hey, you coming," he came up to Derek's side.

She could feel Derek's hesitation. "Uhh . . ."

Just then Izzie felt a little bit more relieved when George stepped off the elevator and caught sight of Izzie.

"Iz, you coming to Joe's?"

"Yeah, let's go together." Izzie gave him a bright smile and linked arms with him, and they walked past Mark and Derek, whose blue eyes pierced into Izzie, straight to her heart.

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Izzie sipped the amber liquid slowly. She was on her third and last drink. She had refused to drink more than three rounds since her first night with Derek. Everything happened when she was drunk, and she was not going let her drunkenness ruin everything else.

George was beside her noting every sip she took and wondering what had happened to his usually loosely drinking friend.

Izzie looked down the bar and saw Meredith and Cristina.

Meredith was tossing beer nuts into her mouth like crazy, muttering something to an unfazed Cristina while her eyes were scanning the crowd for Derek. Izzie knew that lately Derek's lack on interest in her was getting to Meredith, and Izzie felt her heart further sinking at what she was causing.

Izzie looked around and quickly spied Derek sitting in a corner with Mark. Derek's blue eyes longingly gazed back at her. He raised his eyebrow as if to say 'What happened?' But Izzie looked back down at the last of her drink, her face red from guilt and embarrassment.

It was then that she felt the wind knocked out of her when George asked, "Izzie, why is Derek Shepherd staring at you like that?"

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Derek didn't understand why Izzie was avoiding him. She had said it was the last time they were going to this in the hospital. And now she was completely avoiding him. There were no more trysts outside of work, and he desperately missed her. She was distancing herself from him. She was absent when being assigned, and then she would be on someone else's service. Sometimes, she would go take care of her clinic so she couldn't see him at all.

And then he understood. She wanted something more, but it would cost her dearly. When she made her casual sex agreement, the one where they could walk away from each other at any time, she had tried to walk away to save them both the trouble. But he held her back. And here she was avoiding him so that she didn't have to feel him.

God, he missed her. He missed her soft hair. The softness of her body. Her smile.

When he realized she was absolutely and completely avoiding him, he tried to give her space. But he found he needed to see her in some way to make his day bearable. Bearable from Meredith's expectant stares, Mark's male to male understanding (about what he thought were Meredith problems), all the other gossipers who watched everything without anyone else knowing, and most off all, the frenzy of what his work demanded.

So, he took it upon himself to make an attempt to catch a glimpse of her each day. When she was doing her rounds, he watched her connect with patients. When she smiled, he felt warm inside. When she laughed, with her eyes bright and shiny, he spent the rest of the day laughing.

But he knew what she was really feeling. Izzie the hopeful, the optimistic, was trying to back off because of Meredith. Because she believed in a love that she did not know was over. Because though Derek and Izzie weren't technically attached to anyone, in her mind, he was.

And Meredith, though not physically involved, was emotionally ruining the best thing that had ever happened to him.

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"WHAT?!" Izzie looked up at George quickly and then shot a glance down at Meredith and Cristina.

They were still talking and thankfully didn't hear what George had said.

"I don't know. He's looking at you all funny."

"Maybe he's looking at Meredith," Izzie tried to casually nod her head in Meredith's direction.

"Nah, you can tell when he's looking at Meredith. He's definitely looking at you. It's kind of weird. More creepy."

Izzie felt her ears burning, but tried to joke about it to deflect the attention. "Well, George, you know every guy wants me. I'm just too good to resist." Izzie grinned at George.

He laughed. "Yeah, but it's not like Shepherd wants you."

Izzie held her breath in for a second. "Right."

"Maybe he wants to talk about Meredith?" George shook his head and turned back to her. "You want to head out of here?"

"Please." Izzie grabbed her stuff, but not before spying Derek looking at her questioningly again. She discreetly held four fingers up at him and then left.

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Derek couldn't help but smile. He saw her four fingers, and he knew what they meant. Isobel Stevens had completely enamoured him that he knew she was referencing to Rule #4. The rule where they didn't know each other at the hospital. But he begged to differ. They were not at the hospital, and he knew every inch of her.

He saw her gracefully gather her things and leave behind George. Derek couldn't help but feel jealous of O'Malley at that moment for spending time with Izzie.

"Maybe you should just go talk to her." Mark downed his drink. His eyes were on Derek, but Derek knew he was scanning the crowd for his latest conquest.

"Who?" Derek asked nonchalantly.

"You guys are like epic. Just talk to Meredith and everything will be alright." Derek could sense that Mark was hoping to avoid a relationship conversation.

"Can't talk to someone who's avoiding you," Derek said thinking of Izzie.

"But she's over there now."

Derek nodded. He couldn't tell Mark what was going on. How would it seem if he told Mark that he left his wife (though Mark had slept with Addison) for one woman, and now was taken with another woman? But she wasn't just any other woman. She was Isobel Stevens.

If only he had known earlier about the possiblities . . .

Mark shrugged. Someone had caught his eye, conveniently he thought for Derek. "Excuse me." Mark left.

Derek nodded. He needed Izzie right now. Derek made a move to grab his coat.

"Can I talk to you?"

Derek turned to see a harried Meredith standing before him.

"Meredith . . . "

He sensed what was about to happen. He could tell from the determination in her eyes and her pursed lips. She was going to make a statement.

More like an emotional outburst. The kind that would usually bring them back together for a while, only for them to break up again later. He didn't want to hear it now because he wasn't in a position to come back to her. He didn't think he could ever go back to Meredith.

He was ruined by another woman who showed him that happiness and connections were possible even with the most unlikely person. He wanted that and not some ultimatum from a commitment phobic Meredith.

But before he could open his mouth to say anything, she had started.

And all Derek could think of was a certain blond woman who had captured his heart and was now sacrificing her feelings at the expense of an emotionally unreliable woman.

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Just a note: Yeah, I noticed all the grammatical errors. Sorry about it. It's just that finals are coming up and I can't study when Derek & Izzie won't leave my brain alone. It only makes sense that the two hottest people on the show make hot things happen. So, I have to get them out of my mind so that I can concentrate on finals cause chemistry's a bitch.

Anyway, I haven't gotten to the part I wanted to yet, but it's coming. Let me know what you think so far. As ever, all reviews are welcome.

Thanks,
--Pepper :)