AN: Howdy cowboys and gals, this chapter turned into my longest chapter ever! (That's why it took me a wee bit longer than usual)

A special thanks to my prereaders who improved this chapter immensely:

Wildcat "Letsjustdance" and Big guns "GeezerWench"

The trail awaits!

Excerpt: "The Oregon Trail Guide Book" From the computer learning game "Oregon Trail" 5th Edition 2001

"Let the would-be emigrant be aware of the fact that the overland westward journey is not to be taken lightly. Though it is not without its accompanying pleasures, it may be well characterized by hardship and privation. Death, though by no means inevitable, is a distinct possibility. But with proper planning and careful judgment, most if not all difficulties can be overcome by travelers of stout heart and sound constitution. In fact, a party of well-prepared emigrants might indeed derive great pleasure from the journey, both from the awesome beauty and wonder of the natural landscape and from the inherent satisfaction to be derived from succeeding at such a tremendous challenge."

August 22, 1866

Spending a few days resting at Fort Bridger should have been a pleasurable respite from the exertion of life on the trail, but for Jasper it felt more like his own personal hell. He had spent the last few days laid out in his brother's tent feeling sick, sweating profusely, and swatting away the numerous flies that had swarmed around the campsite. Quitting drinking was proving to be harder than he'd imagined. It had only been a few days that he'd been trying, and he was already dealing with the torment of withdrawal. The worst part was having to deal with his memories and his guilt with nothing to mask the pain, but there were also physical manifestations to suffer through. He felt shaky and tired all day which made Jasper even more ill-tempered than usual.

One of the reasons that he was so worn out was because he just couldn't seem to fall asleep at night. He would toss and turn for hours before giving in and drinking until he passed out, but even then his sleep was not all that restful. Vivid nightmares plagued him and would wake him, multiple times a night. Then he would have a splitting headache every morning. He was able to stay sober all day until he repeated the cycle of drinking himself to sleep all over again. Jasper hoped that once they got back on the trail, the physical exertion would ensure that his sleep would improve, and he would finally be able to give up drinking entirely.

The night before Bella was to leave on her journey out west, she also couldn't sleep from excitement. Even though it was the last night she'd spend in a comfortable bed, she hardly got any rest, as thoughts of beginning her new life danced across her consciousness. She felt as if she were standing on a great precipice about to jump into the unknown. The idea both delighted and terrified her all at the same time.

Bella was up before the sun. Esme found her in the kitchen loading the jars of food they had canned together over the last few days into a wooden crate.

Being honest with herself, the older woman had to admit she'd become attached to the young girl, thinking of her, somewhat, as family. Bella was completely orphaned now, with the recent death of her father, and Esme wished she could do more for her. "Bella, are you sure you're ready to leave?" Esme asked. "You could always stay here with us."

Bella turned to find Esme smiling at her kindly. It almost looked like she had tears in her eyes.

"I am so very grateful for everything you've done for me, but I can't stay here after what's happened. Plus, I wouldn't want to be a hardship to you and your husband. You have both helped me more than I can put into words, Esme," Bella sighed.

"I understand, and I suspect you'll have an enjoyable trip. Miss Charlotte has become quite fond of you, as have I," Esme said as she struck a match to light the fire in the stove.

"The feeling is mutual. I admire Charlotte's strength and tenacity, and, of course, she tells the most interesting stories. Esme, you have been the big sister or aunt that I never had or knew I even wanted until now. I will miss you most of all." Bella looked down shyly, her honesty making her blush.

Both women were close to tears, but soon their mood turned jovial, as they reminisced over the past few days they had spent together in the kitchen. It was true, Esme, Bella, and Charlotte would be living in three different, and remote, areas of the West, but they would keep in touch because they had truly bonded, like family.

"I should go see if Charlotte's awake," Esme said as she lifted the curtain to look out the window. "We should make sure everyone eats well this morning."

"I'm starving, and I hardly slept a wink, but somehow, I feel completely energized." Bella marveled at her own eager anticipation.

Esme was happy for Bella. She was young and just beginning her life's story. She expected Bella would make a fine nurse. Carlisle had sent a letter to his nephew, Dr. Edward Cullen, telling him that Bella would be coming to work for him. There was no need to wait for a reply. Carlisle was certain that Edward would be thrilled to employ Bella as his nurse, despite the fact that she lacked formal training.

The good doctor had selected a few books from his personal collection for Bella to take with her to read and study during the trip. She could learn some basic nursing techniques on her way to Fort Boise, and then Edward would teach her the rest.

Everyone enjoyed the hearty breakfast of cured ham, red-eye gravy, and biscuits that Esme served in the kitchen, before the men carried Bella's belongings to the wagon. When the last of her property had been stowed, the good Dr. Cullen shook both of the young men's hands wishing them a safe trip. Esme hugged both Bella and Charlotte, reminding them to write her, if possible, on their long journey westward, and certainly to let her know they'd each safely arrived at their destinations. Dr. Cullen hugged his weepy wife to his side as she wiped her eyes with the corner of her apron. They waved good-bye to the travelers until they disappeared over the horizon.

They hadn't been walking long when they saw a group of Indians on horseback watching them from a distance. Bella recognized Jacob among the group, and she turned her head away. She had mixed feelings about her friend. When Esme had explained the meaning behind the bracelet he had given her, it had made her question his intentions and his morals. Had he meant to betray her trust? She was certain that she had never given him any reason to suspect that she held any sorts of romantic feelings towards him, and so the thought had crossed her mind many times, Had he been helping her escape or had he been luring her into another unwanted marriage?

Peter, who was driving the team, pulled the wagon to a stop, as he noticed the hulking native riding down the hill at a trot. "Damn it, Jasper. He's come back." Peter glanced between Bella and his family, and wondered if the Indian was looking for his girl or, possibly his share of the reward.

Peter jumped off the wagon, ready for a fight.

As Jacob neared, everyone noticed that he held something in his hand. Jasper and Peter tensed up, worried that it was a weapon of some kind.

Jacob sensed that his arrival had made everyone uneasy, so he slowly raised his hands in a gesture of peace. "I've only come to speak with Bella."

Bella, still feeling guilty about accidentally shooting Jacob, turned her eyes toward him. She noticed his arm seemed to be healing well, and she breathed a sigh of relief.

"Let me talk with him, I'll only be a moment." Bella said, as she walked towards Jacob, who had already dismounted his horse.

"I heard about your father, I'm sorry."

"Thank you, Jacob." Bella's voice was tense, her eyes averted.

"You choose to leave with them?" Jacob asked, his words came out sounding more like a statement than a question.

"I don't want to stay here, and I've been offered a job out west."

"I don't trust them, Bella." Jacob ground out.

"Well, you can never be sure who you can trust, Jacob," Bella said, the anger evident in her tone.

"I should have told you about the bracelet. It wasn't my intention to upset you or trick you. I only wanted to protect you." Jacob's face softened, and Bella's anger dissipated.

She remembered all the good times they had spent together at the fort, and how patient he had been with her, when he had tried to teach her how to sew beads into cloth. How he had risked his life to help her escape.

The Whitlocks watched as Bella and the young man had a short conversation. Bella seemed to be at ease with him, so they stood back and let them say their good-byes. Finally, Jacob handed the item that he had been holding in his hand to Bella. In return, she reached in her pocket and handed him what looked like her handkerchief. The young Indian reached out his hand and gently touched Bella's cheek, which had Jasper and Peter vibrating in place again, ready to jump in, but before they could move, Bella had reached around the young man's waist, hugging him tightly, albeit quickly.

As Bella turned and made her way back to the wagon. Jacob stared down Peter and Jasper. "Take good care of her," he warned, then mounted his horse and rode away without so much as a sideward glance.

"What did Jacob give you, Bella?" Charlotte asked the question on all their minds.

"It's a dreamcatcher. It's supposed to ward off bad dreams. Isn't it beautiful? He made it himself…my going…away…present. He'd been watching and waiting for me to leave. He wanted to make sure I was alright." She sniffled and was obviously fighting back tears.

Charlotte walked over to Bella and put her arm around her young friend's shoulders, "Yes, it's very beautiful, honey…now you'll never forget your friend, Jacob, and the happy times you shared, right?"

"That's right. I'm sorry I'm crying…I think that everything that has happened is all catching up with me."

Peter couldn't stand the suspense, or women-folk crying, so he interrupted them with another question. "What was that you gave him, Bella, if you don't mind me askin'?"

"Oh, that was a handkerchief that my grandmother had embroidered my initials on, many years ago. I just thought it might help him to not forget me." She said, still sounding a little sad, but no longer crying.

"Yes, it is a wonderful remembrance." Charlotte said as she wrapped her arm around Bella, and they slowly resumed their trek westward.

The first days on the trail came and went quickly, weather was pleasant, and everyone was in a cheerful mood, except for Jasper. He was darkly sullen, forcing everyone to walk on eggshells around him. Bella didn't take it personally. Charlotte had explained how irksome Jasper could be, so she had decided not to let it bother her.

Jasper's black eye had almost completely healed, and it seemed to Bella that he grew more and more handsome with each passing day. She secretly wished to catch his attention but his manner was always aloof. It was almost as if he was trying not to notice her. Jasper had also become very quiet, avoiding conversations with everyone. The only thing he had said to her after two days of traveling together was "thank you" once when she had served him coffee, and she barely heard him say it because he had his head down and seemed focused on the ground when he had spoken.

Peter and Charlotte, however, proved to be fine travel companions. Bella enjoyed their company immensely, and they soon fell into a comfortable routine. On a typical day, the women woke before the sunrise and started breakfast. Peter would get up when he smelled the coffee and usually Jasper would soon follow. The brothers took care of the animals, and everyone would eat together around the cooking fire to start off their day. After breakfast, everyone worked together to repack the wagon, and they would set off walking until noon. They usually ate a lunch of cold leftovers, and rested an hour or two before resuming their journey. Peter's stomach usually determined when they would stop to make dinner and camp for the night. After eating and before nightfall, there were plenty of chores to keep them busy, and sometimes they would sit around the campfire and talk or tell stories before going to sleep. Everyone had their own tent except for Peter and Charlotte who shared a large one.

On the third night of her journey, Bella was in her tent sleeping soundly when she was awakened by a rustling sound and heavy footsteps pounding the ground outside of her tent. She wanted to scream, but the sound caught in her throat, coming out as a loud gasp. All she was able to do, in the pitch black darkness, was jerk herself upright to her knees and move warily towards the flap of her tent. She could see the faint glow from a lantern, so she decided to look outside hoping to see a familiar face. When she pulled back the flap she realized that it was only Jasper. He was shirtless, and when she caught herself ogling him, she turned her burning face away in embarrassment.

Bella shook her head and sighed at her silliness; it was only Jasper, after all. So with relief, she returned to her blanket. A few minutes later she was startled again by Jasper's appearance at the door of her tent. He tossed his wadded up shirt inside before he knelt down and pulled back the flap completely to enter. It was obvious that he had been drinking by his swagger, and he crawled into the tent and fell down beside Bella without noticing that she was there. His back was turned to her, and all she could make out was the faint outline of his wavy blonde hair and broad shoulders, in the darkness. In his stupor, he had mistaken Bella's tent for his own and had crawled inside, completely passing out. He never even realized she was there.

Bella was shocked and confused. She wasn't sure what she should do. She didn't want to wake him for fear of how he might react. Her father had sometimes been violent upon awakening when he was drunk, and Bella feared that Jasper might be the same way. She also considered waking Peter and Charlotte and asking them for advice. Possibly she should just go sleep in Jasper's vacant tent. In the end, she decided against either idea and just laid back down on her blanket and tried to go back to sleep. It was a futile effort. Jasper's heavy breathing and large warm body filled the small tent and made it impossible to rest. Eventually she slid out and tried to sleep on a blanket under the stars.

The next morning Charlotte woke and found Bella already busy making coffee. She could tell that something was bothering her friend by the way she rushed nervously about from the wagon to the campfire.

"How long have you been up?" Charlotte asked as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

Bella motioned for Charlotte to join her on the other side of the wagon away from the sleeping men. She had something to say, and didn't want to wake anyone with her voice. "Last night I didn't sleep at all. Jasper came into my tent, dropped to the ground, and was out cold. He was drunk and must have mistaken my tent for his own. I left and tried to lie down outside but I just couldn't sleep."

"He's in your tent? Right now?" Charlotte asked her eyebrows raised in surprise.

Before Bella could answer, she was interrupted by Peter walking sleepily around the back of the wagon. Still barely awake and dressed haphazardly, he started digging though the supplies in the wagon searching for something.

"Char, where's the pie?"

"Maybe you ate it already, honey," she answered.

"No, it was here. The rutabaga and strawberry pie that Miss Esme made special for me. I was savin' it. Bella, did you move it?"

"No, I didn't touch it."

Peter lifted up the crate of canned goods, and then he saw it; an empty pie tin, full of crumbs and sweet red juice, discarded messily beside Jasper's cider jugs.

"I'm gonna kill him!" He bit out angrily as he marched to Jasper's tent and threw back the flap. Peter just stood there, dumbfounded, when he realized that the tent was empty.

"Where'd he go?" Peter asked as he spun around to face his wife and Bella, who stood nervously wringing her hands.

"Calm down, Pete." Charlotte hissed. "He's in Bella's tent."

Peter couldn't contain his surprise. His jaw dropped, as his eyes darted between the two women searching for answers. "What?"

Bella explained what had happened, and Peter, still angry over the theft of his pie, strode over to the back of the wagon and poured the remainder of Jasper's cider out over the dusty prairie.

"That's the end of that. He'll thank me for it one day."

Later that morning when breakfast was ready, Peter sat down to eat the savory johnnycakes and fried apples that Bella and Charlotte had prepared, but he was still riled up and in a fighting mood. He couldn't wait to give Jasper hell once he finally woke up.

In fact, after he had finished his meal, Peter started singing loudly hoping to wake his brother, eager to goad him about sleeping in Bella's tent.

Jasper woke up to Peter's obnoxious rendition of an old gospel song. His head was pounding from his hangover, and his brother's caterwauling sent him over the edge. It was too early to be singing and carrying on. Something about the tone of his brother's voice sounded taunting, and Jasper rolled over and growled as he covered his head with his blanket.

"I'll fly away, oh glory, I'll fly away. When I die, hallelujah, by and by. I'll fly away." Peter continued to sing, slightly off key, until Jasper began to stir.

"Shut up!" Jasper bellowed from inside the tent. "I wished you would fly away!"

Peter's apparent cheerful mood infuriated Jasper. He would have liked to have slept a little longer, but he realized that he had to pee badly, so he decided to get up. Jasper put on his wrinkled shirt and crawled out of the tent to find Peter glaring at him with a ridiculous smirk plastered across his face.

"You didn't waste any time, did ya?" Peter said, grinning like a fool.

"What are you talkin' about?" Jasper asked.

"I'm talkin' about you crawlin' out of Bella's tent. I knew you'd be after her, but we've only been on the trail three days. You work fast," Peter said, taunting him.

Jasper turned around confused. It was Bella's tent! He rubbed the back of his neck and looked down at his boots ashamed and embarrassed. "I didn't touch her," Jasper said trying to lace his words with certainty, but it came out sounding more like an insult.

His condescending tone cut Bella to the core. Did he find her that repulsive? Her breath caught in her throat as she stared Jasper down. How dare he! She had felt bad for him and even made excuses for his standoffish behavior, but the truth cut her like a knife. He disliked her for some reason. In a huff, she decided the feeling would be quite mutual. Besides being physically attractive, Bella decided that there wasn't anything to like about Jasper Whitlock, and she immediately ducked around the wagon to escape from his view.

"That's right, you old buzzard. You scared Miss Bella right out of her bed last night, and you ate my pie that Miss Esme made special for me." Peter held up the empty pie tin and tossed it angrily to the ground. "I've had enough of your incivility, brother."

Jasper became enraged and clenched his hands into fists at his sides. "Go to hell, Pete!"

Peter stood quickly and threw his arms open wide. "Come get some!" he yelled, inviting his brother to take a shot. He was hoping Jasper would lunge at him, so that he would have an excuse to beat some sense into his thick head.

Jasper didn't take the bait. Instead, he just stomped away to the privacy of the trees to relieve himself. When he returned, Charlotte was scolding Peter. Then she turned and stared daggers at Jasper. By the scowl on her face, it was plain to see that she was fed up.

"Here." Charlotte roughly shoved a full plate into Jasper's hands, before briskly walking away to comfort Bella.

Jasper stumbled to retrieve a cup for his coffee and spied Charlotte holding Bella, who appeared to be shaken. Jasper felt horrible for having caused her any discomfort. He couldn't clearly remember what had happened the night before, and felt worried that he might have done something inappropriate besides just entering her tent and falling asleep. He also knew that his words had sounded harsh earlier. Even though he hadn't meant for them to come out that way, they had, and he wasn't sure how to rectify his mistake.

Everyone was mad at Jasper, and it made him feel like a damn fool and a failure. The rest of the day, no one said a word to him, and it was probably for the best because every little thing seemed to annoy him. At lunch, Charlotte and Bella sat away from the men and talked in private, while Peter busied himself with fixing things and tinkering so that he didn't have to talk with his brother. Even around the fire at dinner the tension was palpable.

Jasper found himself heading to the wagon late that night looking for booze to cut the tension and to help him sleep, but when he lifted the jugs, he found them all empty.

Part of him wanted to scream and fight, but all he did was curse quietly under his breath. Somewhere deep inside him, the voice of reason spoke loud and clear. His drinking had to stop.

And so it did. From that point on, Jasper didn't have anything to drink. He became even more withdrawn and sicker than ever, but with each passing day, he had won a small victory. By the end of the week, he started to feel better than he had ever remembered feeling before, and his depression started to lift like the parting of a fog.

Peter felt that his brother had finally turned the corner and forgave him for eating his pie. It was beginning to feel like old times again, and everything started to look up.

Jasper started to notice things that had escaped him before, like the beauty of the sun rising every morning, bringing a new day full of opportunities. He had also been watching Bella from afar, and God help him, he thought he'd never seen a more beautiful sight. From early in the morning, when she made his breakfast, until late at night when she brushed her hair in front of the fire before bedtime, she was captivating. Jasper had never met a girl like Bella before. She worked tirelessly and without complaint, and when she wasn't working, she had her nose stuck in a book. The mixture of her inherent goodness and physical beauty had a definite effect on Jasper's heart and his body. Every day, he felt more and more drawn to her despite his mind warning him against being lured by a woman again. But it was a losing battle.

A whole week had passed and Bella and Charlotte were still mad at Jasper. They had every right to be because he hadn't apologized to them properly. Jasper knew what he needed to do, but saying he was sorry was something that he wasn't good at. Peter had always forgiven him easily without any discussion being necessary between them, but Bella and Charlotte were different. They were women, and women had a whole different set of rules when it came down to apologizing.

He finally worked up the courage to apologize to her on the day that they reached Soda Springs. It was a beautiful, green, fertile valley full of good areas for bathing and washing. The water that sprang from the springs was strange; it flowed out of the ground carbonated and warm. They decided to stop and rest there so Charlotte and Bella could take care of the washing. The women worked together to clean the dirty clothing and blankets that had become covered in dust from the trail.

Bella was working hard carrying an armload of dusty clothes down to the water to be washed when she noticed Jasper riding past on Jenks. He looked like he'd washed up and shaved.

Charlotte turned to Bella and said, "There goes Jasper, ridin' that horse like he's doin' it a favor."

"He's something, isn't he?" Bella grumbled as she set the dirty clothes down and reached for her bucket and soap.

A few moments later, Jasper came riding back towards the ladies. Bella and Charlotte, squatting down by the river's edge, glanced up from their work briefly, but turned back to their task. Bella heard the horse's hooves come closer and closer to where they were working, but she refused to give Jasper a second glance, as she busied herself by scrubbing at a stubborn stain.

Then Bella heard Jasper dismount and walk over. His presence loomed over her. He cleared his throat to get her attention, but she refused to look at him.

"Bella," Jasper called softly.

"Mr. Whitlock," Bella replied brusquely.

He cleared his throat again and yanked his hat from his head. "I have come to apologize for my abhorrent behavior."

Bella peered up at Jasper and smoothed a stray wisp of hair from her eyes. He was standing over her, clean and dandy, his hat in his left hand and a bouquet of wild flowers in his right that he extended to her as a peace offering.

He was smiling expectantly when she had looked up, but the hopeful expression slowly left his face as she continued to stare up at him. "I'm sorry, Bella. Can you forgive me?"

She stood quickly, wiping her hands on her skirt. When she realized that her clothes were mussed and damp from the washing, her cheeks flushed pink, and she lowered her gaze. "I accept your apology, Mr. Whitlock," was all she said as she took the flowers and returned to her wash bucket.

"And?" Charlotte demanded, her blue eyes flashing and her little suds covered fists planted firmly on her hips.

"I'm sorry for causing you any trouble as well, dear sister." Jasper conceded.

"It's about time." A bright smile replaced her stern look, and Charlotte embraced Jasper, patting him on the back with a heavy hand.

"Bella, I was wondering if you'd like to take a ride with me?" Jasper asked, as he fiddled with the edge of his hat nervously while he waited for her reply.

"No, thank you, Mr. Whitlock. I'm much too busy with the washing."

"Would you please call me Jasper? Every time you call me Mr. Whitlock, I'm reminded of my father."

"All right, Jasper. As you wish."

When Jasper had mounted Jenks and trotted away, Bella and Charlotte slapped their hands over their mouths and had a giggling fit.

Bella wasn't sure what was so funny, but her body felt nervous and excited, and all she could do was laugh. She smelled the bouquet that Jasper had given to her—a beautiful assortment of multicolored wildflowers that smelled so sweet. She set them down gently on a rock beside the water and then turned to find Charlotte staring back at her.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" Bella asked, her face growing warm with her blush.

Charlotte clicked her tongue. "Peter told me he thought Jasper liked you, but I hadn't believed it until now."

"Really?" The hurt seeped through Bella at hearing Charlotte's confession. Did her friend find it that surprising? Was she that plain?

Charlotte picked up on Bella's tone immediately. "Oh, honey, I didn't mean it that way. I meant I was surprised about Jasper. He has never so much as looked at a woman since all that happened with Maria." Charlotte placed a soapy hand on top of Bella's arm. "Did you see him Bella? He was trying to make an impression. He's obviously very taken with you."

Bella smiled softly as she considered all Jasper had been through, and the effort he had put into his apology. She wasn't sure how she felt about the man, but she would give him a chance.

AN: I've been sick, and reviews would be nice :) *cough* *cough* *pity me* :)

Also my pinterest link is now listed on my profile page. I am putting up lots of pictures about the Oregon Trail Check it out!