Disclaimer: I only own my OC. Any other characters belong to their respective owners.

Like memories in cold decay,
Transmissions echoing away,
Far from the world of you and I,
Where oceans bleed into the sky

― Linkin Park, 'The Catalyst'

Chapter Four: Ache

When Kaehra opened her eyes, she found herself wrapped in warm silk sheets the color of midnight. Sunlight streamed into her eyes through a large glass window at the opposite side of the room. She was still wearing her clothes from the previous day, although they were torn a little and her dark blue tunic was stained almost black with dried blood. She grimaced.

Wrenching herself up into a sitting position, she immediately regretted it. She ached with a fierceness that she hadn't known for a long time. The pain made every cell cry out. By the Norns, even her hair hurt. It wasn't uncommon for her to wake up with a body that felt like it had fallen from the Bifrost after coming as close to changing as she had last night.

Admittedly, it was foolish of her to go anywhere without purging herself, but in the... excitement, she had forgotten. Loki had noticed almost immediately. It wasn't her intention to reveal her curse so readily to anyone, or even at all, especially to the trickster prince of Asgard. It would be suicide to do so. While Kaehra herself had thankfully never been on the receiving end of Loki's tricks, she had heard many a tale of those unfortunate to catch the Silvertongue's eye.

Regardless, the fallen prince's discovery of her dark secret should have been a warning. If the curse magic had spread that far through her veins to be noticed, she should have left immediately and begun the ritual. But she'd stayed behind. Her emotions had gotten the better of her, and could have cost her dearly. She should have left right after her meeting with the green-eyed god, but she hadn't, instead continuing to wander and plan. She had gained valuable information, and that was enough for her. Or at least that was what Kaehra wanted to tell herself. She was careless; that's all there was to it. She wouldn't be in the future.

She tossed the dark covers to the side and swung her legs over the side of the bed. Kaehra bit her lip, trying to distract herself from the pain. It worked, but only in moderation. She bit too hard and teeth pierced the sensitive flesh, filling her mouth with the copper taste of her own blood. Ignoring it, she rose to her feet shakily, before collapsing back on the bed. In a rare display of childishness, Kaehra huffed indignantly and blew the stray strands of dark hair that had fallen into her eyes. She wanted to curse to the high heavens for her weakness, her inability to even stand and take a few wobbly steps to the desk at the far side of the room, facing the window.

Somewhere nearby, a piercing screech sounded. A hawk. The dull sound of flapping wings greeted Kaehra's ears. She turned to face the window just as a large brown hawk swooped down with a final shrill cry.

Slowly, features began to shift as wings grew longer and feathers gave way to flesh. A wickedly curved beak melted away to a sharp, slightly hooked nose and a defiant mouth settled on a stubborn chin. Piercing yellow eyes faded to turquoise and a mess of dark, chocolate hair grew.

In the place of the hawk was now a rather handsome young man clad in a dark shirt and pants, in which a pair of hands were hastily shoved.

'He's forgotten what a brush is. Again.' Kaehra thought, an amused smirk sneaking it's way onto her face.

"Is it really so hard for you to just use the door like everyone else?" She said, her mismatched blue eyes glinting with mischief and amusement.

A crooked grin grew on the young man's face. "Is it really so hard for you to stay in bed when you injure yourself?" His voice was cool and deep, but buried deep beneath was a playful accusation. Kaehra frowned.

"Am I to trust that it was you who put me to bed?" Kaehra asked, rising to her feet once more. She wobbled a little, and the male rushed over to throw an arm around her waist to steady her. Nodding her thanks, she took a few cautious steps towards the desk. When she reached it she sunk into the carved oak chair that lay next to it, gazing out of the window before looking back at her companion waiting for his reply.

"I was. I came looking for you yesterday. You were nowhere to be found. Why do you insist upon running around when your condition is so fragile?" The male said, eyebrows furrowing in displeasure.

Kaehra snorted. "Fragile? You make me sound like an old woman, which I most certainly am not. I was simply taking care of some business." Her hand moved so her palm cupped her chin, elbow resting on the desk. The other was resting her her lap, long fingers fiddling with fabric of her ruined tunic. 'I'll have to get some more clothes soon.' She mused silently.

The man raised a dark eyebrow. "Business? You steer clear of Midgardian affairs whenever possible. I doubt this 'business', or whatever fancy name you wish to give it, was cause enough to nearly let the curse consume you. How close were you to-"

"What? Shifting? Being overcome?" Kaehra interrupted. "Perhaps ten minutes more and I would have. I was foolish. It won't happen again."

"What? Ten minutes! What business was so important that you felt the need to push yourself so far, so close to the edge? You know what happens if you let the curse consume you."

Kaehra's eyes were hard and steely when she gave her cold reply. "It concerned the Tesseract."

Her companion froze for a second before swallowing loudly. His blue-green eyes flicked up to hers for a moment before darting around the room, eventually settling on a particularly interesting patch of floor. Slowly, a hand tentatively came up to run its fingers through his hair, effectively ruining whatever semblance of order it once had. "The Tesseract?" He finally whispered, his voice unsteady and tentative.

"Among other things." She said, her quiet voice matching his. "If all goes as planned, the Tesseract will be returned to Asgard as soon as the deal is completed. Midgard will be safe and the Cube locked away."

"No."

"Randar, there is little, if anything, you can do." A subtle warning was laced beneath her words and was not lost on him.

"Do you not trust me?" Randar said, pouting like a petulant child.

"I won't have you getting involved in this. I trust you, truly. You are perhaps one of the only people I would entrust with my life. Trust has little to do with this." Kaehra said with a small sigh. Her hand came up to trace the skin around her curse mark.

She did trust Randar, most definitely. She was just reluctant to allow him to assist the Midgardians in the upcoming war. Loki was powerful and cunning, even when she had lived in Asgard. She was scared to learn just how much he had improved since her time in her homeland. Randar was still young for an Asgardian, only being a 4 Asgardian years old when he had left their realm, a little over three and a half centuries on Midgard. Regardless of how much time had passed and his Midgardian age, Randar was far too young to be mixed up in the conflict between Loki and Midgard. The child barely remembered his home and had never seen the horrors of war. Kaehra refused to let him be tangled up in their fighting if there was even the slightest chance that he would be hurt. She had lost too many people in her struggle just to survive and make it this far. She wouldn't let Randar die, fates be damned. He was the only one she had left and she wasn't about to let him jump into a conflict that could very well mean his death. She owed him that. She had failed him so many times before. She could at least do this.

"I can handle myself, Kaehra." Randar growled.

"No! I refuse to let you go traipsing around, getting involved in affairs that do not concern you!" Kaehra said, slamming her hand down on the desk. She squeezed her eyes shut. Why couldn't he just listen to her? Just this once, why couldn't the heavens align themselves in her favour? "I made a promise to keep you safe," She said, her voice soft and calm when she spoke again. "And I won't let you hurt yourself. What we are dealing with... The Tesseract... It's not going to be like some simple training exercise. I have lost many a friend to conflicts such as this. You think you will fight this and everything will go as planned and you'll be fine. Everyone thinks that. Not everyone makes it home."

"I know that! Stop treating me like a child!" Randar cried out, finally having enough.

"I doubt that! You are a child, still young and eager to prove yourself but you know nothing of the world! You have not even an inkling of the truth that is war. You want to fight to prove that you are a man and to redeem you family name. You will not do that. You have no idea what this war will bring, or even what has happened. You only know that it concerns the Tesseract and that is enough to fool your ignorant, childish dream." Kaehra said loudly. It was rare that she raised her voice, and even more so when she visibly showed her anger.

"So you would keep me here, trapped like a bird in a cage and attempt to sway me with words of ignorance and my selfish, infantile ways? Are you not more selfish than I?"

"Sometimes the man in the cage has more freedom than the man roaming free." Kaehra said. "Perhaps it is selfish for me to ask this of you, yes, but do I not give you enough? I have given my life, my soul, my power, my home, everything I have to offer so that maybe one day things will be as they should and you might have the happiness and the life that I had to give up. And I am not the only one to sacrifice too much so that you and others like you might be safe. Your eyes have remained closed. Is it too much to ask that you not throw away what I and so many others have worked for?" Kaehra said, her voice growing steadily louder. Angry tears tried to work their way into the corners of her eyes but she blinked them away. If she started to cry now, Kaehra didn't know if she could stop. She had bottled up her emotions for so long that they were overflowing. Wouldn't it feel so good just to let them all out? Just for once? But she couldn't. Emotions were dangerous. Emotions showed weakness.

Randar sat with his hands clasped. How long had they remained clean and untarnished, blood-free? Just how much of his life did he owe to Kaehra?

The silence was deafening and reigned long and proud.

When Randar finally spoke his voice was soft and unsure like a young child. "Am I that much of a burden?"

The dark-haired woman scoffed. "No. No you are not. At times you are difficult and foolish -as you should be at your age- but no, you are never a burden." Kaehra said, smiling softly.

Randar stared at his longtime friend and companion. She rarely smiled, in all the time that he had known her. After some time and careful deliberation, decided that he liked the expression on her face. The way the smile would soften her face and make her eyes crinkle at the edges, it made her look young, Randar had decided finally. Kaehra was in no means old, but circumstances had made her age in odd and unexpected ways. Her eyes were cold and stony and her mouth was set in an almost-constant frown. The way she would walk made her seem to be tied down with invisible still had a rather youthful face, almost childish, but it was the little things that made her seem ancient.

"Very well." The man sighed. "I will stay out of your war. Now are you going to tell me what you've plotted and what in Hel's name is going on?"

"Must you be so vulgar?" She said, but her eyes flashed with amusement.

Randar just laughed. "Now are you going to tell me about this plan of yours and what the Tesseract is doing on Midgard? You told me it was lost long ago."

Kaehra looked at Randar, not saying anything. Silence reigned for a good long moment.

"The Tesseract is here for reasons unknown, but Loki's intentions are not." She said softly.

"Loki? The prince?" Randar exclaimed.

"Yes, I suppose I'd better tell you what I learned, and what I have done. You must promise, no matter what, not to get involved. I was not lying when I said I trusted you Randar, but with Loki here, I fear others may come. Other Asgardians who you should never meet, not until I can protect you fully. I have taught you the ways of our people and the dark truths behind the golden walls. I hope you will understand my reasons for choosing to keep you away from this."

Randar froze. "By other Asgardians, do you mean-"

"I hope not," Kaehra interjected. "And you should hope so too."

Randar grew worried. Kaehra was usually a woman of few words and even fewer explanations. It was rare that she would speak so freely, so much like her older self before they had been driven from their home. She would try to maintain a mask of indifference, believing that her emotions, if expressed freely, would be her downfall. Occasionally, she would open up and laugh and joke jovially, always with him. Never anyone else. Past events had left their scars and trust was something that didn't come easily to her. She would work herself to near-exhaustion, often nearly being overcome by her curse far too often. The fact that her mind was so preoccupied that she had dropped her cold facade that had being painstakingly drilled into her was worrisome.

This was far more serious than she was letting on.

'If you trust me so much, why can't you trust me enough to tell me what troubles you?' He thought.

"But enough of that. You don't need to worry. I doubt he will show his face in matters such as these. He'll most likely have more pressing matters to attend to." Kaehra said, trying to divert Randar's attention. Sometimes that boy was too damn perceptive for his own good. "I suppose I should tell you about the issue at hand."

"That would be a good start."

Kaehra sent a halfhearted glare at Randar. She shifted in her seat, which sent twinges of pain up her spine. She fought off the urge to grimace. Damnable curse mark.

Her voice was soft when she began, but she couldn't keep the slight tremor at bay. Whether it was from fear or from pain or some other reason entirely, she didn't know. But the tremor remained the entire time she was speaking to Randar. And that scared her.

Author's Note: *dodges rocks and tomatoes* I'm so sorry this took so long to post. I was dealing with a family issue, so I had to travel back to my hometown. I hope this slightly-longer-than-normal chapter satisfies you. It's kinda a filler, but you get to see Kaehra's character more in-depth and when she's not so serious. Randar's a pretty awesome character and he's super important in the future. Can I please, pretty please get at least 3 reviews? I hate doing this but I've barely had any reviews and I really want to know what people think. Comments, suggestions, questions and constructive criticism are welcome.