"What time is it?" Meredith mumbled as Derek stirred beside her the next morning.
"Six thirty," Derek whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Go back to sleep, I'm just getting in the shower."
"No," she sighed, sitting up. "You…have to go to work."
"I know," Derek smiled. "But you don't have to wake up. I'll call you on my lunch break."
"It's okay," she sighed, sitting up. "You go take a shower. I'll…make breakfast or something."
"Please don't," Derek laughed.
"I think I can pour cereal into a bowl," Meredith rolled her eyes. "Get in the shower. And brush your teeth before you kiss me again."
"Bossy," Derek laughed as he slid out of bed and moved towards the bathroom, the water starting a moment later.
Meredith giggled as she reached for one of his t-shirts. "Just shower, Dr. Shepherd," she giggled. She walked into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee, turning to look into their small living room as she did so.
Their apartment was small, but they didn't need much room. They'd bought a couch and TV, and Derek had insisted on purchasing a leather recliner, ignoring Meredith's protests that he was never going to be home to sit in it. Their kitchen table, too small to actually fit in the kitchen, sat beside the island counter that divided the kitchen from the living room, and their bedroom door peeked open from beside the TV on the other side of the room. She sighed as she settled down at the table, looking at the pictures of Europe that Derek had developed and framed the day after they'd moved in.
She'd lived here for less than a week, but she already felt more at home here than she had anywhere else. She and Derek had made this apartment their own, and she completely loved it.
"Hey," Derek sighed as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head on his way into the kitchen.
"You nervous?" she asked as she watch him place a frying pan on the stove and pull a carton of eggs out of the fridge.
"A little," he sighed. "It's just my first shift, though. I'll run labs, learn my way around the hospital. Probably nothing too major. They'll just torture us unmercifully, make sure we know we're nothing."
"Hmm," Meredith nodded, moving to stand beside him and wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her chin on his shoulder as he cracked the eggs into the pan. "And you'll be home tomorrow night?"
Derek smiled as he leaned into her comforting warmth. He still couldn't believe that the word home was associated with Meredith, and would be forever. "Wednesday morning," he corrected with a sigh. "Forty eight hours."
"Which sucks," Meredith frowned.
"It won't be so bad when you're back at work," he smiled, scooping some scrambled eggs onto a plate for her, then one for himself. "What are your plans for the next couple days?"
"I have a meeting with the other teachers in my unit tomorrow," she said. "I'll probably go in tomorrow, air out my classroom and set everything up."
"Good," Derek nodded. "Every free moment I have…I'll call you."
"Well that will be awkward to explain to my date tonight," Meredith giggled, moving to the table.
"Not funny," Derek frowned.
Meredith sighed as she watched him shove the last of his eggs into his mouth. "I'll miss you," she admitted quietly.
Derek smiled as he reached to pour his coffee into a travel mug. "I'll miss you too," he said. "You want to meet for lunch tomorrow?"
"Sure," she nodded. "I'll even bring you real food."
"Oh, well, that just seals the deal," Derek smiled, leaning down to press his lips against hers. "Bye."
"Good luck," she whispered against his lips. "You'll do fine."
"I love you," Derek whispered against his lips. "I'll talk to you later."
"I love you too," Meredith smiled, gently pushing him towards the door. "Go save a life."
He smiled softly as he walked out the door, leaving Meredith to watch him with a smile as he opened the door. "Derek," she said, causing him to turn around and look at him with expectant eyes. "I'm proud of you."
Derek nodded slowly, smiling at her. "Thank you," he smiled before he turned to walk out the door, leaving Meredith to turn back to the kitchen, a small smile playing on her lips.
XXXXX
Meredith sighed as she flicked the lights on in her classroom, looking at the large room that had been her second home for the past two years. This was the place where she'd first asserted her independence, really created a life of her own, and where she had finally felt that she was actually making a difference in the world. This was where she'd first met Derek, where she'd realized that she was completely in love with him, and where she'd realized that she had to be with him, even if it was terrifying.
This was her home away from home.
She threw her purse onto her desk and walked back to the storage closet in the back of the room, searching for her back to school decorations. As she pulled a box down from the top shelf, she heard a knock on the door and she turned to look at it, her heart suddenly pounding as she saw Andrew.
"Andrew," she breathed, stepping forward, clutching the box tightly in her hands. "I um…hi."
"Hi," he said softly. "You…you look really great."
"Thanks," she said softly. "You too."
"I stopped by your house last week," he said. "I was going to tell you that I got a full time job here."
"Oh," she said. "I actually moved closer to the school."
"So I heard," he nodded, moving closer into the room. "Did you go to Europe with Derek?"
"I did," Meredith smiled softly, twisting her ring around her right finger. "It was wonderful."
"I'm glad you're happy," Andrew said. "Derek's a lucky man."
Meredith blushed softly. "He says so too."
"I'm glad he knows it," Andrew said. "It was always him."
"I'm sorry," Meredith sighed, stepping closer to him. "I tried to move on from Derek with you, Andrew, I really did. And I hope that you can find happiness someday. Someday soon."
"I hope so too," Andrew said. "I know this is awkward, but since we'll be working together, I thought we should just be on good terms."
"You're right," Meredith nodded.
"So I just want to make sure that we can be professional," Andrew nodded, shifting his weight awkwardly.
"We can," she nodded. "We're adults, we can be friends."
"Friends," Andrew nodded slightly. "I think that might be stretching it."
"Oh," Meredith frowned, suddenly realizing how much she had really hurt him. "I really am sorry. But you had to know that we were never really good together. It was fun, but nothing serious."
"We were good together," Andrew nodded sadly. "Just not as good as you and Derek are."
Meredith sighed softly. "Yeah," she said. "Derek and I…it's pretty hard to get better than that."
"I'm going to get back to work," Andrew said, turning towards the door. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"See you tomorrow," Meredith echoed quietly, watching him leave. Her whirlwind summer in Europe with Derek to her overwhelming excitement at being back with him and anticipation of their future together, she hadn't had much time to think about the fact that Andrew had probably been completely destroyed by the breakup of a relationship he had been much more invested in than she was.
She dropped into her desk chair for a moment, wanting nothing more than to turn to Derek and tell him everything that was running through her head. She had never realized how much she completely needed him to make her feel safe, and now that he was at the hospital, unable to respond to her phone calls, she wasn't sure exactly what she should do when she needed him.
With a deep breath, she shook her head and reached for her box of back to school supplies, knowing that she was becoming pathetic. She was in love with Derek, and she couldn't imagine her life without him anymore, but that didn't mean she had to give up being her own person. She was still Meredith Grey, and she needed to figure out how to be an independent person in a relationship instead of a dependant half of a relationship. She needed to be her own person, with Derek but not apart of him.
XXXXXX
"And I might even get to scrub in," Derek grinned at lunch later that day as he shoved another bite of salad into his mouth, sitting at a table with Mark and Addison.
"Lucky you," Addison sighed. "I ran labs all day."
"I was in the ER," Mark offered. "Saw some real action."
Derek grinned as he downed the rest of his water. "I love being a doctor," he announced. "I have to call Mer."
"How's Grey doing?" Mark asked.
"Amazing," Derek smiled. "She's been so great about understanding everything I need for my internship."
"We should have dinner sometime," Addison said. "We haven't even seen your apartment yet."
"No offense, Addie, but I'm pretty sure Grey still remembers the time you tried to be Derek's girlfriend," Mark snorted. "You're probably not her favorite person."
"No, Mer gets it," Derek shook his head. "I told her all about that stupid plan you and Lexie thought was a stroke of genius."
Addison rolled her eyes. "We were just trying to help," she said. "Anyways, she knows that Mark's it for me."
Derek smirked as he watched his best friend reach over to squeeze Addison's hand. "I can have my sister check you out if you want," he offered. "She's a psychologist, so she might be able to figure out exactly why you love him."
"Funny, Shep," Mark rolled his eyes.
"I have to go call Mer," Derek grinned, stuffing his last bite of salad into his mouth and standing before he even finished chewing.
"Remember to lock the door before you start jacking off," Mark smirked.
Derek rolled his eyes as he moved out of the cafeteria, reaching for his phone and dialing Meredith's number.
"Hey, Der," Meredith giggled as she answered the phone.
"Hi," Derek laughed. "You sound happy."
"Some of my students just stopped in," Meredith smiled as she cradled the phone between her ear and shoulder, stapling a poster to the bulletin board. "I've got some really great kids this year, so it should be fun."
"Good," Derek smiled as he stepped into an empty conference room.
"How's life as a doctor?"
"Exciting," Derek sighed. "But lonely."
"Exciting but lonely," Meredith repeated. "Should I ask why it's exciting or offer to come over for lunch?"
"Well, I just ate lunch, but I'd be okay with seeing you anyways," Derek laughed.
"I'm busy, Der, and so are you," she sighed. "But it's good?"
"I may scrub in tomorrow," Derek said. "Patient's got a subdural hemotoma, it was my first case and I caught the bleed in her brain before the attendings."
"Well, it seems as though I'm dating a genius," she giggled. "Good job, Der."
"Is your classroom all set up?" Derek asked.
"Almost," Meredith said, stepping to close the door. "Andrew got a full time job here."
Derek was silent for a moment, wondering how he should respond to that, why she was even telling him. "You saw him?" he finally asked.
"Yeah, he stopped by," Meredith said. "He said he wanted to make sure we could be professional, which is a good idea, I guess. But he just seemed so…sad. And I never really realized how much I hurt him."
Derek sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "I'm trying really hard to follow your train of thought here, Mer, but you're losing me," he sighed.
"It's nothing," Meredith shook her head. "I just feel bad. It's not like I still want to be with him or anything, but I never really thought about him after I broke up with him and ran off to Europe with you. I was so excited to be with you again, to have a real life together, that I never really thought to feel bad for him."
Derek nodded, even though he knew she couldn't see him. "That makes sense," he finally said. "I'm sorry, Mer, but I don't really know how to help."
"There's nothing you can do," Meredith sighed. "I guess I just needed someone to ramble to."
"You can always ramble to me," Derek laughed.
"Hmmm," Meredith nodded, and he couldn't help but notice the lack of enthusiasm in her voice.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"I'm fine," she said quickly. "It's weird. We've been together pretty much twenty four hours a day for two and a half months, and I'm not used to not being able to just turn to you whenever I need to. I'll be fine once work really starts for me again."
"Okay," Derek said softly. "I love you, Mer. And you know you can call me anytime you need me. I may not answer right away if I'm at work, but I'll always make sure that I call you back as soon as possible."
Meredith smiled softly. "Thanks," she said softly. "I love you too."
Derek's pager beeped loudly from it's place on his hip, and he cursed softly as he looked down at it. "I have to go, Mer, I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Meredith said. "I'll talk to you later?"
"Definitely," Derek nodded. "Bye, Mer."
"Bye, Der."
Derek sighed as he hung up his phone, already moving towards the door as he clipped his phone back to his belt. Meredith was off somehow, she hadn't really been herself for the last half of their conversation, and he wished that he had had more time to dig into her fears. Unfortunately, being an intern didn't allow him as much time to devote to her as he would have liked, but that didn't mean that he wasn't going to do everything he could to make sure she was happy.
"Dr. Shepherd, we've got a rape victim, beaten unconscious," his resident Dr. Watkins said as Derek entered the ER. "I need you to take her upstairs for a CT and an MRI, see if there's any internal damage."
Derek nodded as he started to move the gurney towards the door. "Of course, Dr. Watkins." He moved towards the elevators, pushing the gurney ahead of him and trying not to worry about Meredith and instead think about the medical case in front of him. Doctor. He had to be a doctor.