Fuck.
I think I'm dying…
Sasuke writhed beneath his blood-stained sheets the minute he awoke. Carefully, he raised his arm, acknowledged the shock that sliced at his chest, and cringed at the amount of plasma that drenched his blackened fingers. His parka, which was weakly tied around his chest, was threadbare and terrible. Bandages would be great, he figured, but they were nowhere in sight and he'd be damned if he moved from his position. He was addled after betting on a quick recovery, but his current state was anything but. His mind was obscured, having already forgotten how long he's been down or half of the day's events. His entire frame trembled violently to lower his arm.
The pain was a good reminder.
…Expiring.
Even with his eyes open, he barely felt conscious, stuck in a reverie of blazing soreness, misery and hacked memories that bothered him senseless.
No. I can't expire...
Memories filled him, ones that still haunted him like a phantom, followed him like a shadow. They existed in his world and in his head, a hell he could never escape. Sharp nails dung into the scorched skin of his hands, balled fists, as a storm of old faces infected his vision. His father. His mother.
His brother.
I can't. Not now.
I need…
Love. Life. Perfection.
Something…
His claws began to puncture deeper into flesh as his fists grew tighter. His teeth, bared and pointed, clenched and grinded in newborn frustration. For some reason unbeknownst to him, behind all the wicked reflections and dreary recollections that tarnished his mind –
A quick spark of pink ran through.
And a saccharine taste settled on his lips and a soft itch sparked at his fingertips. He shut his eyes to keep it there, to keep her there. The light that pulled him away from the hell inside of head. The light that blinded him.
Stay.
Just a little longer…
But behind his lids, the light faded to black.
And that was how it was meant to be.
[19] The Perfectionist
"Wait, Naruto!" Sakura projected from across the room to the boy ready to leave. Her voice lowered as her eyes locked on her feeble human hands. "Can you hear me out for a second?"
He halted mid-stride.
"I think it's safe to say that not all vampires are miserable," she stated, grabbing his attention. "I noticed that you, Neji, and Hinata are perfectly fine as vampires – content even. But Sasuke…" Lost in thought, she faltered. The more she thought about him, the more powerless she felt because Sasuke's evolving desires screamed for something beyond her blood and now she, alone, was barely enough to pacify him.
It terrified her.
Was she really no longer the prime medication to his madness?
"He always seems desperate for something… It's complicated, but I thought I was good enough for him, as if I was the only thing he needed," she said in dreamy sorrow. "But I'm not. My blood isn't the only thing he's after…"
Her heart constricted as she envisioned his face. As of late, he was aching for something more.
But for what? – A question that seemed to haunt her all day.
Naruto squirmed uneasily and that was the only answer she needed.
"You know something," Sakura accused under her breath; hushed hostility accented her blow. "Then can you at least tell me why is he's so unhappy? I know he has anger issues, but something tells me that's just scratching the surface…"
Naruto produced a dismal sigh. "It's kind of a long story, Sakura… and we don't really talk about it."
"Who's we?"
"Everyone," Naruto answered morosely. "We all have our own shit to deal with, goes with the whole vampire thing. But Sasuke…man, his past is just… Life's been a bitch to him and that's me putting it nicely." His body language cried with words that his lips strayed away from. "Let's just say something happened and he's been off his rocker ever since."
"And this something is the reason Sasuke attempted suicide, right?" It was strange to think just one, single instance in his wonderfully dazzling life could ruin his entire being. She received a troubled nod regardless. "I'm not buying it, Naruto. That doesn't sound like Sasuke at all."
"The Sasuke in the past was much more human," he insisted, ending back in his seat and proceeding with monumental discomfort. "He had feelings, Sakura: real, human emotions. But ever since that day, he turned them off. Like a light. And he just tossed them in the trash and forgot about 'em." He leaned in and sent her a look, as if to warn her. "The Sasuke now…is a giant faker. Don't let him trick you 'cause the bastard has a damn good poker face. This isn't the real him."
"A fake…," she whispered bleakly.
"We vampires should have some emotions left because we keep our memories from our human lives. And since everything's super sensitive – like our sense of smell, taste, touch – emotions should be too. But Sasuke only goes from pissed to super pissed and then…nothing. It's not normal," Naruto emphasized, waving wildly. "But I never said anything about his past because, sometimes, even I don't wanna believe it. If you knew how messed up he really is, you'd might give up on him, too."
Like how Sasuke gave up on himself...
Sakura bit her lip at the thought.
"Damn it, just help him, okay?"
Sakura fell deeper into the cushions and touched the pit of her neck, visibly distressed. At times like these, she missed playing with her necklace, a ritual that calmed her nervous tics. And the nerves were certainly alive.
"…Can you tell me what happened that day?" Sakura asked softly, scratching at a necklace that wasn't there. "I know you're not comfortable talking about, but please, tell me, Naruto. I thought you wanted me to learn more about him so I can help. And honestly, I want to know more, too."
Her vile curiosity was getting the best of her again. Pushing the subject meant tumbling further into a scarred life and it took all the courage she had to take another step forward after seeing him in the middle his darkest hour, possessed with hellish vehemence that seemed unachievable even for the undead.
And yet, Sakura knew that that possessed soul wasn't the Sasuke she fell for – the one who, in her eyes, still had hints of humanity and sincere emotion sheathed under denial and enmity. The monster that stood in the field today was a side of him that reeked with grotesque cravings that went beyond human understanding. Even Naruto barely grasped the evilness in its entirety, but grasped it better than she did.
"You sure you can handle it? It's not pretty…"
"If I'm willing to take a stake to the heart, I think I can handle a little story time."
"That's true," he admitted. A hopeful shine flashed in his eyes for an instant, then something sinister appeared. "But I gotta warn you, it's not the kind of story you'd see in books, you know… This is the kind of reality you'd want to escape from."
She pressed her back onto icy glass and eyed the courtyard stories below them. She mentally prepared herself for a new perspective on the underworld of her prince charming.
His dark roots. His past.
The day everything went wrong.
"I'm ready."
It was painful.
Not breathing was extremely painful. The burn in your lungs. The yearning for air. But with dormant poison wading in his blood, he would have to get used to it. A life without air would become his new existence. Days without sleep would become his new routine. A diet with of red would become his new purpose.
The dawn of a new day was just over the horizon.
He was ready to grasp it and take it for himself.
But for now, he just had to manage keeping still. Posing. And not breathing.
"And… we're done."
Sasuke, losing his postured and rigid pretense, finally exhaled and welcomed the healthy color returning to his face. His lungs took in the warm, summer air streaming in from the open window behind him. The anxious boy turned to his mother and smiled at her. She nodded and on cue, he moved from his designated spot to get a view of the portrait.
"What do you think?" asked a man, a hired hand, armed with a paintbrush and a rainbow palate. The masterpiece was covered with brushstrokes and an aptness of detail and color. It was a powerful piece for a powerful family. It was perfection in an art form.
"It's nice," Mikoto, his mother, said for him before he could take in a breath to answer. Her voice was velvety soft whenever she spoke. "How about you, dear? Do you like it?"
The intimidating man, the centerpiece of the portrait, rose from his throne and scrutinized the painting with severe eyes. Patronizing and firm, Fugaku Uchiha was a man who was hard to please. Even as he took in every rich, precise stroke of this piece of brilliance, he held a deep frown. Sasuke personally knew how vital a few affirmative words were, especially if they were uttered by his father; they were rare, but meaningful and he undoubtedly lived for them. The boy stood wordlessly under his father's shadow and waited for his critical approval. It seemed like centuries passed when the intense atmosphere was released.
"Hang it above the doorway."
The artist, thrilled beyond his years, complied and carried the enormous piece out of the room.
"Come, Mikoto. We have guests to entertain," Fugaku said, his voice fading as he sauntered towards the hall. Sasuke caught the sideways glance his father shot at him and he hoped it meant more than a few words could explain. The man gave a slight nod and Sasuke felt his heart welt up with glee.
"Of course," the woman responded obediently. Before trailing, Mikoto bent over to face her younger son. Filled with tender excitement, she kissed him on the forehead and he backed up, rubbing away the motherly stain. The woman chuckled and combed through his spiked, midnight hair with slender fingers. "Be ready before dinner, okay? Everyone is dying to see you."
Her laugh echoed when she left the study.
Sasuke sighed roughly and started pulling and adjusting pieces of his mane. He had to look presentable today, the most important day of his life. At this very second, the whole Uchiha clan, gathered from all across Fire Country, was in the estate's courtyard. He did not want to disappoint his father – the head of the clan and, in a way, a king – by looking like he just rolled out of bed.
No, how unacceptable. Every member under his father's reign was going to lay eyes on him and he could not let anything go wrong. Today, he would become a prince. Sasuke needed today to turn out well. Perfect, even. Like the rest of his family, he needed to be perfect.
Today was the day that perfection became his.
The pressure was on.
"Afraid?" a voice asked, chillingly close.
Sasuke turned and watched his older brother return the gigantic chair to its spot behind the desk. Sasuke scoffed and graciously took a seat in the velvet wonder the second Itachi stepped away.
"I'm not afraid of anything, brother."
"You're still human, Sasuke. You should live in fear," Itachi reminded knowingly, taking a consolation seat at the windowsill. "Your life is… so fragile."
"I won't be human for long," Sasuke countered, arrogance clear in his voice. He petted the sweet fabric of his father's throne; the touch sang under his fingertips. This was a chair fit for the head of the Uchiha clan. It was a spot he was ready to fill. "I'll turn. And when I'm a vampire, I can take this seat from you."
"The title always falls to the eldest, Sasuke. By default. By tradition. And without fail."
"It's time for a new tradition."
"You really think you can rise above me…," Itachi spoke evenly as he humored the idea.
He looked past the window panes and gazed at the revelry from a bird's eye view. The courtyard was crowded and festive with relatives conversing and dancing to refined piano music that swam through the air and up into the study. The tunes hailed from an ancient record player that still seemed ahead of its time and the best money could buy. Hors d'oeuvres, kissed with a hint of irony-red, were served on long, buffet tables along with flutes of wine and champagne. The guests waited eagerly under the vibrant afternoon sky that glistened on pale skins. But once the sun went down, the real celebration would begin.
On Sasuke's 13th Birthday.
"If you really desire father's chair, you're going to have to kill me first."
"Che, easy. Because after my requiem, it will be an even playing field. And then, I'll show you," Sasuke announced intrepidly, but coolly. "I'll be the next head of the clan."
And for once, I won't have to be in your damn shadow…
"Such naivety…," Itachi muttered, distantly eyeing the guests below him. The ants crawling beneath his gaze. "Is this a game to you, Sasuke? A challenge?"
"Whatever it is," Sasuke threw a testing smirk at his obstacle, the rival that never failed to make him feel inferior. His brother. "I'll beat you. Watch me."
Itachi's eyes narrowed viciously. "…Very well."
A lightning-fast blur appeared before him and Sasuke gasped, human reflex, impressed by the speed and agility. Soon, that and more would belong to him as well. The vampire poison seeping through his veins was prepared to defile him. It would give him everything he ever wanted. The strength, the eternity, the eyes. The honor. The perfection.
He was the fruit of an accursed lineage that would make him like his brother.
No, even better.
The show, aiming to startle and intimidate, only made Sasuke's blood boil with anticipation.
At that moment, Itachi looked down at him, like he constantly had since the day Sasuke was born. An intense, burrowing stare. There was a raging, unseen fire in Itachi's eyes. And something else that the human vision could never reach.
Something frightening.
And one day, he knew, Sasuke would be able to see it.
One day.
"I look forward to playing, little brother."
The chains clapped against each other as Kakashi inched under the restraints. He was awake, but had no power over his body. Limp, numb, half past dead. His arms, shackled and bound, felt immensely heavy. His neck was flimsy and weak and barely capable of supporting his head. His vision was murky and dim; he could only see the orange glow of shriveling candles and the stones under his feet.
The only sensation clear to him was the horrid stench of death lingering all over. Somewhere in this room, there were bodies rotting and spoiling the once-breathable air. The odor was so strong, it penetrated his mask. Kakashi used all his might to choke back the bile slithering in his throat. If they weren't going to kill him soon, he figured he would die from this smell.
This torture.
He knew he made a mistake.
The morning he noticed his target wasn't in class, he knew something wasn't right; Sasuke never missed school because Sakura was there, that much was fact. Because even after hinting to the girl about the vampire's dark secret, she still stayed with him and kept coming back to school, alive. They were inseparable. If anything, Kakashi assumed, it meant that he wanted to keep her that way – alive, breathing, beating – and maybe she would be safe.
For now.
But "for now" wouldn't be good enough. Enough lives have been taken by the hands of the loathsome Uchiha clan, Kakashi witnessed it firsthand. The day his father died, the day he saw those eyes, he knew something was born inside him. It was a deeply embedded revulsion, a rage that kept him hunting vampires for years; determination born from a dark becoming. Killing an Uchiha was his means to avenge his father. An ANBU operative, a fallen hero.
And Kakashi never guessed that other vampires went to high school and for what purpose, he didn't know. He never knew Sasuke had reinforcements or allies of the parasitic nature. Kakashi was too blinded by his own past and he even grew up learning that revenge was never the answer, but it was all he had left. His beloved family, his honorable career.
Gone.
It was his fervent passion that kept him flawed.
And now, he was going to pay the price.
"To be completely honest, we don't really have extensive plans for you."
Kakashi tried to lift his head, but his muscles spazzed and remained obstinate. He listened to the familiar voice that sounded sickly sweet to his ears. The man before him had the courtesy to bend over and meet him eye to eye.
"Of course, Sasuke is dying to kill you," the man spoke; Kakashi recognized his face. "I believe Naruto would want to keep you alive, but mostly because you were his favorite teacher, or so he says. And I remain impartial, as usual."
"I've seen…you before… You're…a student," Kakashi wheezed and had a hard time talking with deaden lips.
"I'm the one who brought you here and that's all you need to know," Neji said calmly. He took note of the teacher's condition; he was awake and alive and that was good enough, for the prey needed to be conscious for torture to be successful. The vampire got up and noticed the crossbow leaning by the only exit and completely out of the hunter's reach. Neji detached certain components of the weapon, rendering it useless. For now, it would lie next to the door, the only hope of escaping, to taunt the human for his lack of freedom and protection. It was cruel, but it was all a part of the plan to break the hunter's mentality, to put him into a mindset perfect for questioning.
Then, the vampire thought long and hard about what to do with the withering man sitting on the damp, soiled ground. After pulling information from Kakashi, killing him wouldn't be a promising option especially with other operatives potentially running around; his disappearance would be a red flag for sure and judging by his ardent behavior, he was definitely one of the leaders to their mission. But if the hunter were to walk free, he would alert anyone willing to listen and that would simply bite them in the ass. The only option he thought of was manipulation.
The sharingan.
But first, torture.
Neji moved past the mountain of vulgar carcasses and towards the cellar door. Before locking Kakashi away for the rest of the night, he said, "A word of warning, Mr. Kakashi Hatake, age 30, blood type O, Trigonometry teacher by day, ex-ANBU operative by night. We know everything there is to know about you." He held onto a tattered wallet, ransacked and stripped of a driver's license, a perishing ANBU ID, old receipts, and precious pictures. "And you have no idea what we can and cannot do. So, for your sake, you better cooperate with us. And you can bet that Sasuke is not a very forgiving person."
The chains clanked in response.
"Good night."
Wretched steel slid against the stone floor. Once again, the hunter was closed off from the rest of the world. His mind was a maelstrom as visions of his damned fate overtook him. How would they end his life? How would Sasuke end his life?
'Uchiha is not a forgiving person?' he thought bitterly, at last regaining trivial feeling in his fingers. His fists clenched meekly but his resentment was still there. It was alive. He was alive. And he wasn't going to let another opportunity go to waste.
We have that in common.
"But before we can begin our game, you need to familiarize yourself with the rules."
Itachi glided his finger along the organized spines on the bookshelf. He pulled out a nameless book and threw it on the table. A bout of dust puffed up and Sasuke fell into a coughing fit. The leather binding flipped open to the proper page, making the boy grumble under his breath as he saw the tiny, irritating print.
"You seriously want me to read all of this? It's over a thousand pages."
"It's for preparation. Turning isn't simple, Sasuke. It's a process. A painful one. And you need to understand it all to ready yourself. You never know what could go wrong."
"But I know everything already. Mother tells me about requiems all the time. I don't see why I need to read about it."
"I finished the same manuscript before my requiem. In three hours," Itachi stated. A competitive spark, Sasuke's ears perked up instantly. He cracked his knuckles and stuck his nose between the bindings. A provocative smile graced his lips.
"Che, I can finish it in two."
"Dinner is in a few hours, so I surely hope so…and to make sure you keep your word, I'm having the cats to keep you company." A distant creaking sound and the two felines entered. Together, they hopped up and settled on the opposite sides of the reading.
"'The hell? I don't want the cats in here."
"If you feel overwhelmed, you can play with them. Like you used to."
Sasuke raised his head and made a bitter face.
"The cats can go. I'm not a child anymore; I don't have time to play with them." His black fringe covered his eyes as he dropped his attention to the microscopic words on the parchment paper. Itachi stepped forward and his shadow disturbed the human's concentration.
"Forgive me, Sasuke," he spoke, tone low and overflowing with meaning. "You will always be a child to me."
Two fingers pressed against Sasuke's forehead and he felt a jolt pushing him back with a staggering force. He hissed, feeling a bruise forming on his delicate, living skin.
"Damn it, you always do…that…," his voice trailed off. The doors clicked and his brother was gone. He growled because Itachi always disappeared.
Just like that.
But instead of dwelling over the usual behavior, Sasuke cleared his mind and began his mission.
"The Requiem," he read the first words aloud, leaning his cheek against his palm. "The process of dying…and the art of existing."
Judging by the damage, the manuscript was probably written by an ancient ancestor from thousands of years ago, much like the other books lining the walls of the study. The pages were flaking and drying out. The ink was dim and fading. But whoever the author was had impeccable handwriting and for that, Sasuke was grateful. Every sentence, paragraph, page expounded in great, illuminating detail.
A requiem, he already knew, was the period between two worlds: the time between human death and vampire life. You live, then die as a human to exist, then to expire as a vampire. It was a week-long transformation experience only for true-bloods, those born from vampire parents. Those with quiescent oblivion lying hidden in their genes. Those destined to a life of sin, hell, and corruption.
It was a process that, according to the book, "roused the black blood that deeply slumbers under gossamer fabric of human skin."
Whatever that meant.
It would begin tonight when his biological clock will run out. First, exsanguination. Every ounce of blood will leave his body, making him desiccated and near-death. Every organ will fail, every function will cease. Then, his beating heart would be the last to go, dominated by still cells and blackened by bloodlust. And for the next week, he would face a lifetime's worth of misery and torment incomparable to any sensation on earth. At a painfully slow rate, his deceased heart would begin seeping life-plasma back into his cold, comatose being. For the duration of the process, he would be locked in a prison until the transformation ended.
He would emerge as a bloodthirsty vampire. Raw and dangerous. Uncontrollable when reborn.
Then his requiem would be complete.
The next week was definitely going to suck, but Sasuke was readily aware of the hell he had to endure and still, he besought death to knock on his door. He would be standing there, eager to answer. Because to go through a requiem was an honor and a privilege for all true-blooded vampires everywhere. It was a gift and a rite of passage. His destiny and his calling.
It was a task he could not fail.
Blank, onyx eyes absorbed nothing, but were aimed at the massive windows facing the courtyard. The emptiness was taking him again; he didn't have the strength to control or resist it. He was letting it eat him alive. Something was missing and he couldn't sleep without it. His soul couldn't rest. Sasuke felt like there was a hole in his chest.
Literally and figuratively.
Neji entered the moonlit room with tools in his hands. Sasuke, conscious of his visitor or not, remained still as night. No response, no objection.
"I can see you're awake..."
Still no response. Still no objection.
Neji plodded across the expansive bedroom and reached the bedside to guide the injured to sit up. Mulishly, Sasuke avoided his help to prove his full capabilities. He still battled the tremors of agony shaking every fiber of his frame, but he succeeded. It was a pitiful victory. His gash, after the lengthy car ride, was finally clotting with crusted blood. It wasn't spewing or gushing, but it wasn't healing at a vampire's swift pace either.
The holy water was performing unwanted miracles.
When the soiled jacket fell to the floor, a roll of gauze dressing unraveled as lissome hands wrapped and secured the wound in the blink of an eye. Next, the lacerated palms were bandaged in a similar fashion. A fierce snip and the job was done. Neji left the bandage roll and scissors on the side table and retreated to a recliner a few feet away.
"I knew you would mess up sooner or later, but Lee of all people? Even I didn't see that coming."
"…Just leave it alone," Sasuke muttered, falling back into the comfort of his bed. He tore away the stained linens and pulled on the comforter that was at his feet. Without any signs of thanks, Sasuke turned his back, feeling the sting hidden under the new gauzy bindings. They were tight, but they would have to do.
A different wound was opening as Neji pushed the subject. "I didn't anticipate Sakura's reoccurring role in all of this, either…"
The stinging intensified. "I said leave it alone."
"Is this making you uncomfortable? I can only imagine how she feels, being stuck in the middle of all this. And I wonder whose fault that is…"
"Shut up," Sasuke snarled, violently pushing into a sitting position. He hid the pain well, but not well enough. In a second, he crumbled and his vision cracked horribly.
"The two of you are always running off together. What are we supposed to think? Is there something going on there? It wouldn't hurt to answer honestly." Neji interrogated relentlessly. "Everyone's dying to know when you two got together."
"…It's not like that."
Neji relaxed despite himself because anything that went against the Kages' Code, anything close to sin, was considered a death sentence. In this case, being romantically involved with a lifer was a sin, so with Sasuke in perfect denial, that gave him one less thing to worry about. They were already walking on thin ice by giving Sakura an inside scoop to the life and times of being a mass murdering bloodsucker and revealing the vampire world to humans was another sin all together. And along with Sasuke's expressive rampages resurfacing worse than ever, the body count was bound to rise and it was only a matter of time before fingers were being pointed in their direction.
Sasuke placed his bandaged back against the headboard and said, "I'm hunting her."
"I know," In a switch of pace, Neji spoke rather condescendingly. He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. Bright eyes, serious. "I was just waiting for you to admit it out loud so you can hear it for yourself. How idiotic you sound."
"What?"
"It's quite obvious you stopped listening to Naruto. So, allow me to throw in my two cents." Neji stood now, knowing it would pinch a particular nerve with the Uchiha. Neji, after being "friends" with him for decades, knew he hated anyone who towered over him, even if it was only in a physical sense and nothing more. It would still reach him, or so he hoped. "I have a theory about this hunting business."
"Keep it to yourself," Sasuke snorted, slouching against the bed frame. "I'm not interested."
"If it has to do with Sakura, I'm sure you're very much interested," Neji announced, discounting the stubborn act and keeping on topic. "Have you ever considered that it's not your hunting instincts that you're tapping into?"
"…"
"Because hunting is an ancient style of feeding, so it's absurd as to why you would resort to it now, especially when slaying is more suited for this day and age…," Neji noted, stepping from his seat and pacing back and forth. "It's also evident that you have a fondness for her blood because you keep going back to her blood and ignoring all else."
"…"
"Plus, it's winter, putting us at our prime and to put it bluntly, there aren't any females of your bloodline around for you to extend your clan which means you're in need of companionship… You are a male and of course, you have needs…"
"…"
"And it is currently mating season…"
"…What the hell are you getting at?"
"That it's only natural for you to be possessive and over-protective of Sakura. The need to be around her and to keep her to yourself, you can't control it. And it's only natural for you to be attracted to her, her blood included, because… perhaps, you think of her as your mate?" Neji concluded, stopping in his tracks. Sasuke glowered heatedly and Neji raised his hands in defense. "It's only a theory."
"Fuck your theory," Sasuke quickly shot, nails digging into his bandaged palms. "It's impossible. Mating instincts are for vampires …Sakura's human."
"Put aside your anger for a minute and think about it. We both know it's not the first time there have been vampire-human relationships," Neji reminded as he noticed Sasuke's defenses getting conspicuously enraged. "And as I said previously, there are no females from your bloodline, so your instincts are… losing options."
"So, in your bullshit theory…," he responded with a misplaced, darkened smirk. "I'm pathetic enough to settle for a human…" A long pause and a straight face. "Fuck you."
"You say it's impossible, but even with or without your instincts leading the way, it is possible for a human and a vampire…to fall in lov–"
"It'll never happen."
"I understand, I could be wrong."
"You ARE wrong."
Neji stepped back, feeling a shot of a murderous aura fill the room; Sasuke was losing control again. "It's just a theory, Uchiha."
Then, with his byakugan activated, Neji subtly observed the shadowed, swirling masses polluting the deep alcoves of Sasuke's soul. They twisted and spun in an untamed fashion, proving the rise of some inner conflict, the continuation of his episode from this afternoon. His face was softly scorching, but his hidden, bottled-up emotions were rioting and clearly perceptible through the all-seeing eyes. His energies were wired and agitated beyond recognition.
Maybe talking about Sakura really was a dangerous topic.
"Calm down. I'm leaving it alone, like you said." Neji threw his hands into pockets and retreated to the exit; he could still feel noxious eyes burning holes in the back of his shirt. "Forget I said anything. It's not something to lose sleep over."
Neji left and yet, Sasuke still could not fall asleep.
Sensing his growing solitude, he withdrew to the safe oblivion under his covers. He concentrated on the pain, begging it would throw him into another deadened coma, but his thoughts were disturbing, buzzing alive with images, ideas, theories. All regarding the same person.
The same girl, haunting him.
If it weren't for his unbearable pride, he would admit it. Maybe even out loud. He would confess that he has thought about it before.
Even before he listened to Neji. Even before he raged at Naruto. Even before he snapped at Lee.
This so-called theory.
An explanation for why he really was fond of her for all the wrongs reasons: Her presence, her touch. Intoxicating, undeniable. The taste of her was heaven on Earth, his saving grace. Why all his carnal frustrations were being projected onto her: Her moans and whimpers that throw him into a chaotic mess of intense aches and bliss. Why his hunger started craving something more than just her blood…her lips… utter perfection.
Sakura.
"Fuck…," he grumbled, smothering his face with a pillow.
It would make sense. A little too much sense.
He really wished it didn't.
"Damn it," Sasuke cursed and the book was sent flying across the room. "I'll never finish this shit."
Denka ducked out of the way and folded back his pointed ears. "You don't have to rush, Master–"
"I needed to finish it an hour ago." It's been exactly three hours since Itachi set foot inside the study. So far, he was on page 823. Fucking eight hundred and twenty three. Sasuke couldn't keep his word, let alone beat the three hour time limit. A task as simple as reading a book…
He failed it.
"Screw it, I'm done," Sasuke growled, pushing out of his father's chair, ready to leave it behind.
"How about finishing it at your own pace?" Hina suggested, trotting alongside her fuming owner. "Like Denka said, there's no rus–"
If I can't even finish a stupid book…
He kept his head low with shame and formed tight, quivering fists.
"…I have to get ready."
Back in his room, Sasuke stood in front of a multitude of mirrors that covered the complete back wall from floor to ceiling. He still refused to look at the reflection of a failure. He shrugged on a crisp, formal button-up and seized his obsidian blazer. After it was in place, he fumbled with his scarlet tie before throwing it to the ground in utter frustration. He looked up, finally taking in his image, and watched the resentful disappointment ruin his innocent face.
"Sasuke? Are you ready?"
Mikoto strutted inside and he watched his mother come closer through the backwards glass. She was wearing a black, simple gown that grazed the floor despite her height and matching heels. And even so, she had no trouble walking gracefully, with poise and elegance. It was second nature to her.
She was perfect, after all. A vampire.
"You're not even ready yet," she noticed, picking the satin tie off the floor. "Here, let me help you."
The woman bent over as she went to straighten his collar. He dwindled as he felt the maternal pity radiating off of her in waves and he seared under the humiliating affection. With rash hostility, he yanked the woman's arm away. The hurt was more apparent in her eyes than on her skin.
"Sasuk–!"
"Mother, what's the point!" Sasuke raised his voice at her, something he never thought he would do, but his emotions were bursting out at the seams. He couldn't stop. "I'll NEVER be like you or father! Or even like brother! I'll never be…good enough…for this stupid family."
She took a step back, stunned at what she was hearing. "That's not true. Why would you even say that?"
"Because even if I do follow through with this ceremony, Itachi's already next in line! I…," Sasuke trailed off, shifting his gaze to his feet, ashamed of his feelings. "There's no place for me here…"
Her expression softened. "Oh come on, Sasuke… you never know. If everything goes well tonight, your father could reconsider. Not everything is set in stone."
"But Itachi's always been father's favorite."
"Don't be silly. Your father doesn't have favorites; he loves the both of you equally." Her smile could be heard in her voice, but her real smile was a treasure. "He's just not the type to show it, that's all."
Despite her vampiric nature, she was warm and kind; the complete opposite of his father. Sasuke always wondered what supernatural force possibly brought them together. It was a mystery, but even if his father didn't show his affections, his mother did more than enough to compensate. She planted another kiss on his forehead, this time leaving a shimmery, pink smudge in its wake.
"What the– Mother!" He violently rubbed at it even if it meant burning the skin under his fingers. The woman giggled again and lifted his chin to look her in the eyes. She was melting into sheer, touching love that threw him off guard; he never knew vampires were capable of such open weakness.
"I couldn't ask for a better son," she said sincerely. She pulled him into a hug that squeezed the air out of him. "Sasuke, don't ever change. You're perfect just the way you are. Promise me you'll never forget that."
Sasuke went still, taking in the weight of her words even if they were typical of her to say. Her honesty gave them power and he still embraced them in secret. He nodded in her embrace.
Mikoto then adjusted the tie around his neck and took the liberty to straighten the rest of his attire. He was wearing the most expensive suit he owned because he was going to die in style and be reborn into excellence; it was Uchiha tradition to look your best on the last night of your life. And when she was done, they turned to the mirror.
"There, see? Perfect," she sang, admiring her handy work. "Relax and breathe, while you still can," Mikoto joked, earning a humble smile from Sasuke. "And remember, we all had to go through this. All the greats had to go through this as well. All the past leaders of the clan. You're not alone. When you're ready, we'll all be waiting for you."
"Aa…"
"And Sasuke…," she said, her last words before leaving. "Happy birthday."
He smiled and in a second, it was quiet again. Outside his window, the full moon was shining. The summer night was young. The anxious guests were waiting. Once he was alone, he sized himself up in the mirror and for once, he saw a glimpse of perfection.
It was in reach. He could feel it. Almost.
'Breath, she said. Breath…,' he repeated.
It was a lot easier said than done.
The hospital walls were becoming routinely monotonous at this time of night. Lee had been in surgery for the past few hours and Hinata had been napping, waiting for some progress, good or bad. The chief, running on weeks of insomnia and burdened with life, sluggishly plodded to her office. Knowing that mountains of backed-up work awaited her, she entered apprehensively and pulled her mouth into a taut frown.
"Oh, that can't be Tsunade. This woman's far too sober…," said a jolly voice.
"Huh," the woman huffed at the blast from the past sitting on her desk.
He beamed playfully. "Hey there."
The white-haired man, clad in official attire, had a contrasting manner to his presence. He had on a business suit that went unpaired with his shaggy, oversized ponytail. His large frame would have been intimidating if it weren't for the smile plastered on his face. To complement, Tsunade's frown twitched into a wily smirk.
"What are you doing here, Jiraiya?"
A roaring laugh shook the room. "Now, is that how you greet an old friend?"
Nimble beyond his years, Jiraiya hopped down and extended his hand out, offering back her desk. He wasn't surprised to see that her vitality was still apparent even after their years apart. Her long day, however, sucked out most of her vigor and the added spring in her step just didn't seem to be there. Listlessly, Tsunade reclaimed her seat, but kept her exhausted gaze in his direction.
"Sorry, rough day, that's all," she waved it off. "God, tell me you're here with good news."
"I'll try to soften the blow," he said, sensing a break in her tough demeanor. "But damn, look at you. Too much stress isn't healthy. Shouldn't that be common knowledge for a doctor?"
"What th' hell is that supposed to mean?" she sighed, lips pursed. "Don't lecture me…I have enough to deal with right now."
"Ah, alright, alright.I see what the problem is. Something tells me you need a drink." He pulled out a hefty bottle of wine from his knapsack and presented it. Tsunade was taken aback. Even after all this time, he still remembered her favorite brand. "Whaddaya say? For ol' time's sake."
"Have you lost it? I can't drink on the job."
"Why? You'll get fired? Last time I checked, you're the chief of medicine."
Hazel eyes, narrowed glare.
"Fine, fine. Sheesh, if looks could kill…" He made the bottle disappear and he exhaled jokingly. "And to think I came all this way to be rejected by you, yet again."
"You haven't changed one bit, Jiraiya. Why did you really come here? To have some drinks? To reminisce?"
"Actually, I dropped by to get some advice," Jiraiya stated, the serious air beginning to circulate. His expression hardened and suddenly, his apparel started to make some sense. "You're not the only one who's been having a rough day and something tells me our problems are one in the same. And you were always better at this than I was."
"This?" A haggard sigh. "Alright, out with it. What's the deal?"
"There's no beating around the bush, is there? Well, there has been an Akatsuki sighting on the outskirts of Suna. Broad daylight, too. No activity verified, no motives known."
"Akatsuki?" she gasped, feeling her insides run cold.
The most cold and clandestine vampire cult in the entire undead world, after years of silence, was reactive. The cult was made up of seemingly faceless opponents to the Kages' system. They radically worshiped the animalistic nature of vampire life and sadistically shunning the more civilized Code that condemned sins that ruined the vampire name and reputation. In the past, the Akatsuki were fervent in their quest to take down the Kages and anyone who was, in their eyes, foolish enough to follow them. The group was powerful, to say the least.
"What on Earth are they up to?"
"Nothing pleasant, that's for sure. But your guess is as good as mine," he confessed, shrugging his shoulders. "It's been decades since the last Akatsuki sighting, so all the Kages have their panties in a bunch. It's chaotic over there."
"And why aren't you included? Shouldn't you be at least a little concerned? You're taking this too lightly."
"Ha ha ha! See, this is another reason why I came. You can worry for the both of us," he winked, lighthearted in nature, but the inapt banter was getting on her nerves. "Like I said, you're better at getting emotional than I am."
"Feh, don't remind me," Tsunade grumbled crossly.
"There's nothing wrong with being human once in a while," he mumbled into a tangent. "But I digress. You had more experience with these criminals in the past, so I'm asking for your input."
"Well, with their mannerisms in mind, chances are there were two members, at most, in Sunagakure," Tsunade said, thinking back to her time in office. It was almost a century ago, and even then, Akatsuki activity was at a low point. Nevertheless, Jiraiya followed along. "But it's strange how all of a sudden the Akatsuki carelessly exposed themselves in broad daylight. Surely, they have the ability to remain obscured, so why now…?" Tsunade thought aloud, tapping her nails against polished wood. "They must have something planned. Maybe it's a threat? Maybe they want to cause a panic…"
"You read my mind," he admitted, impressed with her never-ending vigilance. "And if chaos is a part of their plan, it's working. Kage underlings were sent to Suna this morning. They're scrambling as we speak."
"And still you remain calm and collected," Tsunade realized, smiling at her inanity. "I misunderstood you, Jiraiya."
"As a whole, our attention is most definitely being diverted and as a result, the Kages were motioned to stay put, but I came here instead. To warn you. There's no telling where they're going next or what they're after, but I did hear a rumor," he whispered, hushed and hasty, "that one of their members originated from Suna. It could be just a coincidence that they showed up, but…"
"We can't be too careful."
"As you know, another member of Akatsuki came from Konoha…," Jiraiya recalled, sending her a stern, laden glance. "So, here I am, following a lead. Just keep an eye out and be careful."
"I appreciate it. I wish I could be of more help, but I haven't been updated on undisclosed information since…"
"Since you quit?"
"Since you took my place," she corrected heatedly. "Rightfully, at that. You're born a leader. The Kage position was made for you. I wouldn't have trusted it to anyone else."
"The seat's still yours if you want it," he offered. "All this time, I've been keeping it nice and warm."
"No need, I have a new job now. In the world of humans," she sighed, eyeing the stacks of patient files and insurance claims. "It's simpler…"
"Dr. Tsunade," interrupted a voice from outside the office. The two vampires immediately turned their head to the empty doorway. Shizune emerged, appearing just as weary as her superior. She took notice of the burly, white-haired man standing at the doctor's side. "Excuse me, I-I didn't know you have a visitor. I just need to confirm your agenda for tomorrow."
Tsunade waved her hand. "Don't mind him. Go ahead."
"Are you still supervising the exploratory laparotomy scheduled in the morning?"
"For a bit, yes."
"And the board meeting after lunch?"
"Mhmm."
"Okay, and that private session you called for on Sunday needed to be cancelled. There's a seminar in your honor that night, so should I move the appointment to tomorrow night instead?"
"Please do," Tsunade answered. "I don't know when you became my personal secretary, Shizune, but you're doing a wonderful job."
"Thank you, Chief," she beamed. The drowsiness in her face evaporated somewhat. "I'll notify Sakura about her appointment ASAP." The woman left just as fast as she came.
On the side, Jiraiya cringed at the loaded schedule but silently commended Tsunade; no matter what setting she was in, whether it was in a Kage's seat or in a humans' hospital, she would be thriving. That much was certain.
"Private session, huh?" Jiraiya said after the human was out of range. "Sounds important."
"More than you know," Tsunade sighed wearily. "This girl's…a special case."
"A vampire?"
"No, but she is in love with one."
"How tragic. Now that would make for a fascinating novel," he declared, fingers itching for a pen and paper. "But a vampire and a human… that sounds familiar. Doesn't it, Tsunade?"
The blonde woman kept her eyes down as something clicked inside of Jiraiya's mind.
"Don't tell me that's why you're meeting with her. Because she reminds you of Dan–"
"Didn't I tell you not to lecture me?" her voice was harsh. "And if anything, she reminds me of myself. This girl… is so hopelessly in love with a person she's not supposed to be with and I knew the feeling. I would never forgive myself if I let her experience the pain of losing him, too – I understand how much it hurts."
"Tsunade…" His spiked ponytail swished as he shook his head. "You're getting emotionally involved."
"I'm aware…," she muttered, a shadow of a frown appearing on her face. "It's a blessing and a curse."
"And code-breaking. By allowing a vampire-lifer relationship, you're committing the Sin of Omission. As Fire Country's Kage, should I have you contained?"
"Try it and I'll break your entire face with one finger," the woman threatened playfully, yet completely serious.
"Still scary," Jiraiya shivered; his bones still remember the power of her fists. "'Course I'll keep my mouth shut, call it a favor between friends. But I need to know. Who's the vampire that this girl is so madly in love with?"
"Someone you know all too well. Sasuke Uchiha."
He nearly slipped from his position against the wall. "Jesus Christ… he's back in Konoha?"
Tsunade rubbed her temples. "A lot has happened since you started your Kage duties. Shall I fill you in?"
"…I'll get the wine."
This is it.
His grand entrance.
It was two hours before midnight. Two hours until his life was over. Two hours, two hours.
Time was ticking and perfection was on its way.
He could already imagine the whole night in its entirety. The air of pride swirling around his march as he entered the courtyard. His aunts, uncles, distant relatives with beaming, congratulatory faces. The pats on his back, the words of encouragement. He would be bombarded with retellings of their own requiems and their questions about the after party scheduled the day he returned from his afterlife, his revival gathering. His brother would be politely mingling with guests, more out of courteousness than anything. His father would be waiting to say a few words, his grand speech, for this special day. Then, his mother would come, carrying a splendid cake, homemade and his final meal before his final breath.
It would be amazing and nothing short of it.
Sharp and focused, Sasuke ascended down three flights of stairs before stopping dead. While at the top of the last set, he glared at the newly painted and highly expensive Uchiha family portrait. More specifically, he glared at himself. By the end of it all, this painting would be the only remnant of his human life. At that moment, he wordlessly vowed to destroy it.
His human life was a time he would gladly forget.
Suddenly, an odd suspicion catapulted him out of his thoughts. He damned his inferior senses because something putrid attacked his nostrils. It was a powerful stench, making him wonder how could have possibly missed it before. The air was heavy, muggy, like smoke. Then, his eyes started to water and his throat started to constrict. He coughed, feeling the entire foyer burning up in massive warmth. Sasuke flew down the remaining steps and was now engulfed in black smog that reeked of something horrid.
No.
"MOTHER!" he yelled, swimming through the polluted air. "FATHER!"
Somehow, he was able to see wild, flickering lights down the lengthy hallway. Through the deathly mist, he sprinted, not terrified of death or anything close to it. He convinced himself that he was fearless.
Today was his day. Nothing could faze him.
By the time he reached the courtyard's doorway, he only saw smoke. And by the time he opened the doors, hell's flames rushed over him to steal the measly oxygen that filled his lungs.
To steal away everything he loved.
No.
He couldn't breathe.
What is this?
Black fire stormed through the entire courtyard. The setting was in infinite chaos. Painted lanterns shriveled and sparked at the heat. Shattered porcelain and broken glass and spilled champagne and splattered blood.
The crackling snaps of the open flames couldn't drown out the dying shrieks of everyone he held dear. Helplessly, they folded under the devil's pyre and perished in front of his once-innocent eyes. Countless Uchiha bodies littered the floor and fueled the fire's innate need to destroy. He watched his father, the strongest man he had ever known, wordlessly drop to the floor. His mother, the last to survive, reached out with fingers, blackened by burns. Her face, wickedly deformed. Her skin, melting off her bones.
But her voice.
"S-S…Sa-su…"
The last time he would ever hear it.
"–AHHHHHH!"
She screamed under a sudden burst of black that devoured her alive. Her frantic tone was deafening, heartbreaking. He gripped his hair and covered his ears, but his soul heard every screech. Tears streamed down his face; he ran to her without thought. Another explosion of hell threw him down and he landed near his smoldered, blistered parents.
Even if he tried, he couldn't save them.
He was only human.
T-This can't be happening!
Feebly, Sasuke cried as the last scream died out and faded into the excruciating hiss.
Before him, his entire clan was dead.
Everything was ruined, destroyed. His insides felt lifeless, broken. He couldn't find the will to move. Then, two unblemished shoes appeared right at his nose. Painfully, he looked up to see deadened orbs boring down into his. Sasuke pushed off the ground and scurried back, eyes widening. Heart pounding.
"B-Brother…!"
Itachi ambled through the raven inferno, unscathed and unmarked; the embers obeyed his every move and bent at his every whim without fail. The flames parted as he came. There was something incriminating in those dark, merciless eyes. The intent to kill was obvious, but Sasuke fought to see something more. Reason. Logic. Feelings.
Remorse.
"WHY!"
Then, Sasuke's racing heart screeched and he gripped his chest for dear life. The piercing affliction had him shuddering and gurgling crisp crimson that spewed from his mouth. His body was accelerating faster, fighting harder to survive, resulting in premature bleeding out. The process, his requiem, was starting sooner than expected.
Now.
"Foolish little brother," Itachi spoke unbearably slow, toying with him. "If you perish without completing your requiem, you will die as a human. You will not turn. You will disappear forever."
Flames shot out from behind and the blaze darkened every feature of his princely face.
"Now are you afraid?"
The asphyxia, the heat, the ache in his heart. His human body shuddered with delirious horror. To Sasuke, everything was agonizing. And yet, there was one feeling that dominated the rest. One sensation that was beating him down for the first time in his life.
Fear.
Disappearing in the darkness. Expiring for an eternity.
Never reaching perfection. His sole purpose to live.
Sasuke was staring death in the face.
"D-Don't kill m-me…!"
Move.
Itachi was coming closer.
FUCK.
MOVE.
"DON'T KILL ME!"
Sasuke turned around and ran faster than ever, shrieking as his heart knocked against his ribs. He huffed for air that didn't exist and his lungs rejected their purpose. Hot tears and blood dripped from his face as he begged for his life.
The human ran back into the mansion towards an underground ritual site that was prepared for his requiem. He threw open another door that led to the stairwell shrouded in black. Hurriedly, he took a step until he snapped his eyes tight. Intense, sweltering heat ignited and attacked his back and he lost his balance. He tumbled forward, down, down into the shadows as the fire ripped at his jacket, his shirt, his skin, into his bones. Sasuke landed on the cold, hard floor and the impact sent more blood shooting from his mouth.
"If you were stronger," spoke a diabolical voice that traveled down the tunnel. "If you were a vampire. If you turned. You could have saved everyone. But you…
You are so weak."
Those four words reached his ears and shook him terribly.
"This whole clan is weak."
Sasuke, prone and pathetic, dragged his dead weight and saw his brother standing at the top. Looking down at him for one last time.
"And the weak do not deserve to live in this world."
That voice was all he could hear.
"This is your purpose. To die."
Their eyes met and Sasuke saw crimson, swirling eyes that carried immense sadness, more pain than his heart could comprehend. The vision lasted for a mere second and then hateful eyes returned to black voids. Those eyes, that face, his presence disappeared, just like that.
But the damage was already done. Then, the echo of the closing door. The stillness of the room. Sasuke was left alone to die with every painful sensation that was pounding into him. He wasn't sure which would take him first.
The blaze or the requiem.
In a rush, bloody tears ran from his eyes, gushed from his nose, dripped from his ears; his body was purging his system of all his humanity. The everlasting flames on his back made his skin gush with even more red that poured endlessly from his fragile, wretched body. Soon, the boy was dehydrated and lifeless, scared of what's to come. He screamed and wailed, but his ears were already numb to the sound. He wanted to close his eyes, but darkness was already all he could see.
There were empty walls. Curtains, but no windows. Candles that barely glowed. Faint music from a broken record. Marble that reflected his misery and disgust.
A black room for his black soul.
He fell into a pool of his own blood and gasped for air.
It was painful.
To suffocate. To perish. To lose everything. His perfect family. His perfect future.
His mind.
No more. No more.
The torment and despair were too much to swallow any longer.
Pitifully, he pleaded with death to take him through whatever method it could. This was hell at its best and its worst. He curled into himself, feeling every piece of him buzz with dolor and death. He cried knowing no one would hear him and no one would be waiting for him when he returned.
He was alone in hell.
Gory fingers scratched at the reflection in midnight marble. He watched his life leave through his eyes. He watched his skin turn white. His blood, run cold. His body gave up, failed, growing cold and comatose.
Broken beyond repair.
The fire, like the light in his eyes, extinguished.
Inching closer and closer until it surrounded him completely, the darkness took him.
He never came back.
"In the end, his own brother killed his entire family and then… he went after Sasuke?" Sakura whispered, holding herself to stop from shaking. "That's…"
"Fucked up," Naruto finished for her, looking primed for murder. "But that doesn't even begin to describe it. I don't know what made him do it, but his bro is fucked up in the head. How the hell can you just kill your whole family?"
"I…I have no idea…" She choked on the lump in her throat and begged herself to keep still. "I just can't believe…his own brother? His mom and dad? They were killed right in front of him. He watched them die…"
"But somehow… Sasuke did survive and he completed his requiem. At least he's here with us now."
"But there's no way you can just go on like nothing happened… Something like that can ruin your entire life."
"That's true, but lately, he hasn't been letting it," said Naruto with some hidden optimism. "'Cause when Sasuke came back to Konoha and when he met you, he was different in a good way. He was a bit happier, I think. For a little while, he stopped thinking about his brother and revenge and all that stuff…and he just thought about you."
Sakura's heart fluttered in the most uplifting way.
"So, you can help him forget because he needs to stop living in the past," Naruto said. "And I don't know what the hell's going on with him now, but you need to fix that, too. I know you can."
"Right," she said smiling, feeling a little more strength somewhere inside her. She jumped out of her seat and went for the door. "I have to see if he's okay."
"I wouldn't do that," warned Neji, walking in with a bothered appearance. "He's not in the best mood."
Naruto snorted from the window seat. Sakura froze, eyeing the fresh, murky blood on the newcomer's hands. Anxiously, she asked Neji, "What happened? Is he okay?"
With a handkerchief, he started dabbing at his fingers. "Well, he's awake, but–"
Sakura nodded once and departed in a hurry, disappearing into the hallway and ready to see him after a long absence of his company. She ran by before Neji could look up and finish his sentence. The boys exchanged looks before a disapproving exhale was heard.
"You could've stopped her," Neji sighed, still rubbing at his palms.
"Did you see her? She flew right out of here!" Naruto laughed after seeing the expression on his face. "But it wouldn't matter anyway. She was dying to see Sasuke this whole time and he's probably lying on his dead ass waiting for her."
Neji shrugged and slipped into a jacket. With cell in hand, he dialed and listened for an answer. "Well then, I'm headed to the hospital. Hinata insisted on waiting for the end of Lee's operation and it's best if we checked on them."
"Shouldn't we be checking on the two of them? Just in case?" Naruto raised his brow towards the opposite side of the courtyard where Sasuke's room was. "I thought he was in pissy-mode."
"The holy water might be messing with his self-control, but he knows not to hurt her. I figured it would be frustrating for the both of them if they tried to talk things out. They're both very stubborn and he's not on his best behavior…," Neji answered, impatiently tapping his foot. "But it might be for the best. If she insists on seeing him, we should be courteous and give them privacy."
"Privacy?" Naruto arched an eyebrow. "Privacy for what?"
.
The sanctified fluid was corrupting his system. A warm, tenderizing hiss traveled to every inch of his body and it was sickening how easily it was taking him down. He felt motionless, yet out of control. Unmoving, but chaotic. It was disrupting his mind. Coherent thoughts were episodic and his perceptions were interrupted. His mind abandoned judgment and surrendered to destructive feelings, emotions, and memories that were long suppressed and ignored.
But there was something strangely empowering these demented floods of emotion, a sensation that made him feel like he was on the verge of something wonderful, something freeing. There was an element to these feelings – these dark, hidden instincts – which clouded his head. There was nothing to hold him back. No logic, no rules.
Just pure, irrational impulses.
He was losing to them.
Damn it.
There were soft knocks on his bedroom door, but he ignored it. A quiet calling out of his name, but he ignored it, too. His attention was somewhere obscured even as his eyes were glued to scene outside. Then, a gentle touch on his shoulder, he snapped. In a fraction of a second, he rapidly shifted his gaze and grabbed at the hand.
"Ah–!" Sakura gasped. "Y-You really are a light sleeper…"
"I wasn't sleeping," he said bluntly. Dazed, he stared at her for the longest time, taking in every detail of her face as if he hasn't laid eyes on her in years. He dropped her wrist and his eyes slowly retreated to window to avoid that pitiful look she was giving him.
"How are you doing? Are you feeling okay?" she asked, then noticing his subtle twitches and the massive wrapping around his chest. "Actually, never mind, it was a dumb question." She laughed to lighten the mood. It was useless.
"But it's a good thing Neji bandaged your wound. It was looking pretty bad when we left," she commented meaninglessly, but he was unresponsive and the stillness was eating at her. Sakura bit her lip as she thought of conversation to break the silence. "So, did I tell you that I learned how to properly wrap a wound a few days ago? Dr. Shizune taught me while she was on her break. It was easy, but you need to know how to do it right. And I was thinking of taking a night class at the hospital on days when I'm not volunteering. I know, I know, it's like I'm practically living there, right? I remember you said that to me once, but I don't mind it I guess. If I'm qualified enough, Dr. Tsunade even said she would offer me a job early, like a paid internship. Isn't that great?"
"…What do you want, Sakura?" he said, cold and harsh, putting an end to her constant babbling.
"I just thought you needed some company, that's all. Don't you ever get tired of being alone all the time?"
The question stayed in the air.
"…Why won't you say anything to me?" she asked sadly, but she was growing distressed. "Even though we made some deal where you have to talk to me, you never let me in. You always keep quiet and stray away from everyone, but you can't keep this up forever, right? You have the chance to live forever and you choose to be alone? That's…no way to live, Sasuke. You'll never find happiness that way, right?"
Even when they were mere inches apart, he felt so far away. Unreachable.
"And your feelings, you push them away and when they finally show, they explode and it hurts you… and the people around you. So you always shut yourself out, but then you end up blaming yourself and hurting yourself even more. It's self-destructive and I hate seeing you do this. I just want to be there for you, but you keep pushing me away, too, and–"
"Why is it after all this time," his voice was low and lethal as he faced her. "…You're still annoying?"
He pulled on her wrist and she shut her eyes, afraid of the impact. Somehow, the world went unreliable and the wind was knocked out of her. Before she could reassess, a sea of softness surrounded her and she only saw darkness. His presence was undeniably close, he was crouching over her. Hands at the sides of her head, he kept her down, just about smothering her with a pillow. To suffocate her.
It was tempting.
"Sasuke, what're y–"
"Are you afraid?"
"…No."
"You should be."
"…You wouldn't hurt me."
God, help me.
"…I would."
Her lips, barely hidden by his covers, moved so agreeably. Her body was trembling under his. Her heart was skipping beats all for him. There was something so right about this moment. He wanted to take it and everything she had. She had so much love to offer, so much life. Things he didn't have, but things he helplessly searched for.
She was so perfect, it scared him.
He was afraid to touch her the wrong way, afraid to break her. She was so human and so fragile. Everything he wasn't. But as self-control was leaving him, as instinct took over, he reached to feel her. His body cried out with pain, but his urges drowned them out.
There was something he needed to do.
She shivered as a cold hand stroked the edge of her jaw. The icy touch shocked her system and every sensation heightened. There was a pressure in her throat and a knot in her stomach. Shadows in her eyes, she still couldn't see that he was inches away from her.
He hesitated.
To fill this void that never goes away…
I need something.
"Sasuke–"
"–Don't say anything."
It's you.
"…B-But I–"
"Sakura, shut up."
I need you.
His breath of his words, his body was so close. He smirked and his lips grazed hers ever so slightly.
You ruin me.
So nicely.
So completely.
Perfectly.
"You talk too much."
I'm going to hell for this.
The Perfectionist
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Please Review.
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I'm back.