WARNING: This Chapter contains abuse, if it makes you uncomfortable don't read on - or skip the 'Memory' Paragraph. Thank you all for following, reviews are appreciated
Elsa stepped out of the shower, jumping at the sound of the doorbell. Shit.
Marco.
Elsa bit her lip, praying that maybe Marco could stop this whole mess. Elsa rubbed her shoulders and listened as her sister let Marco in.
"Hello?" The ginger's voice was thick with hurt.
"Uhm.. Hello? Anna right? Your Elsa's sister?" There was a pause and Elsa dressed quickly in a plain grey sweater, pulling the sleeves off her shoulders so that she could grip them fiercely with her hands. She thought about Anna or Marco seeing her new, bright red gashes and she shivered - gripping the sleeves even tighter. Elsa slipped back into her jeans, too anxious to try and pick anything else, hoping that Anna wouldn't assume the worst of her inviting Marco over.
Elsa hurried out of her room, running a brush through her hair and letting the wet locks sit on her shoulder, throwing the brush back in her room lazily. Marco had a pizza and a few Hershey's bars, Anna looked at them with big eyes and when Elsa entered- Anna whipped her head around to look at her.
"Is this your boyfriend Elsa?" Anna pointed at Marco and raised a brow. Elsa turned bright red and laughed nervously. She took a moment to really look at her sister, she had a tiny pair of shorts on, showing off her perfect legs and flaunting her small curves, paired with a bright red tee shirt, adoring their old middle school 'The Fairmount Howlers' cheer leading. God she was perfect, it made Elsa even more nervous to be around her.
"N-No." Elsa looked at Marco and back at Anna. her grip on the sleeves growing intensely. "Anna this is Marco, he's a friend and I don't have any food, i figured he would know what get?" Elsa's knees were starting to tremble. She needed to impress Anna, she would have been embarrassed if anyone had made that comment, she loved Marco. He didn't love her back and it hurt so bad... But she wasn't supposed to even be thinking about that, she needed to be a sister.
Marco sensed Elsa's nerves and grabbed Anna's attention back.
"So? You like pizza?" Marco slid the box across the table to her. Anna nodded fiercely and opened the box.
"Aww no mushrooms?" Anna played pouty for a second and smiled at Marco, Elsa's heart thundering at the thought of Marco liking her sister, her perfect flawless sister. Elsa felt the jealously turn her blood cold. Marco looked at Elsa with a smirk, sending his emerald eyes ablaze and causing Elsa's stomach to flip.
"Take notes." Marco and Anna laughed, Elsa smiled nervously and leaned against the table.
"Mushrooms, got it." Elsa itched her shoulders nervously and watched Anna pile three pieces of pizza on top of each other, grabbing a Hershey's bar and placing it in between her teeth. Her perfectly white teeth.
"Well thanks for the food." Anna smiled at Marco, turning sharply and glaring at Elsa before storming out of the room, leaving a sting in Elsa's eyes.
She gulped helplessly, gripping her shoulders intensely and falling limply into an open chair. She knew trying to take care of Anna would be difficult, and she never expected Anna to like her... after all Anna still didn't know what he did to her. Elsa shivered, burying her face in her hands. Elsa felt her head throb, her first instinct: cut. The only thing keeping her from running into her room, finding the blade again, and engraving the tally-marks into her skin was Marco, his hand rubbed her shoulder warmly.
"Hey, Elsa its okay..." Marco pulled a chair close to Elsa and let her fall into his chest. "You can work things out with Anna, just let it go Elsa you're going to be okay." His words hit Elsa head on like bittersweet, cupid's arrows. She melted into Marco, let the tears sting her eyes so sourly it burned. She sobbed, letting herself fall- letting Marco hold her up. Marco kissed her forehead, sending small sparks of warmth into her lungs. Elsa sighed and tried to pull herself together, pulling away from Marco and looking up at him, his eyes gleamed and he smiled at her. Elsa forced a smile back and stood up shakily.
"I'm... I'm so sorry Marco." She breathed un-easily, her knees shaky again, the headache returning to her temples.
"No, don;t apologize Elsa," Marco stood with her, ran a hand over her hair and caressed her softly. Elsa stopped breathing, she looked up at him her heart begging- screaming- for affection. "I love you Elsa." Elsa felt the tears flood down her face, her entire world suddenly came to a screeching stop. Marco linked his hand into Elsa's, lifting her hand to kiss her knuckles.
Elsa gasped, her sleeve slipped and she recoiled a second too late. Marco looked at her, an expression of shock and pain struck his face- ripping apart what Elsa loved so dearly. What have I done?
Elsa pulled away but Marco held her wrist tightly enough to hurt the open wounds. He pulled her closer to him, turning her arm so he could see the lines clearly. He looked away as if someone had just shot him. Elsa tried to pull away again, the tears now accompanied by burning sobs. Her lungs burned with every gasp. Marco pulled at her other arm, his grip strong from years of football and wrestling. He grabbed her sleeves, pushing them both all the way up to her elbows. The red ones stood out bright against the pale of Elsa's forearms. Her arms littered with shades of silver, purple and red.
"Marco... Ma-arco, please I-I, I'm s-sorry, please let me go." Elsa pulled again and turned away, not being able to stand the sight of her own skin. She felt the migraine start and Marco's grip tighten.
"Look at me." Marco spoke lightly. The words sent a shock-wave through Elsa's body, re-igniting memory. Elsa's heart rate thundered and she felt the world of her memories consume her.
Memory
Elsa's Freshman Year
She saw the way the ginger looked at her, looked at her with hunger - evil. Sure he was attractive but he always made her uncomfortable, the way he looked at her... it was... predatory.
She knew his name was Hans, he was a sophomore and he was an exchange student from Norway.
He looked at her again, and Elsa turned to look into the back of her locker. This was awkward, she knew she needed to get out of this empty hallway and back to English, well almost empty.
She looked back at Hans again, he was staring at her. Elsa slammed the locker, turned abruptly and started walking away. The way he followed her was triggering, nauseatingly nerve wracking. He eventually caught up to her, touching her shoulder.
Elsa looked at him, his touch sending burns up her arm.
"Elsa, my darling you look so nice today." He smirked, a disgusting smirk. Elsa cringed and brushed off his hand.
"Uhm, thanks." Elsa started walking again towards the English Hall. Hans following her seductively.
She could feel his eyes staring at her, burning her skin. She quickened her pace, his stare making her uncomfortable. What would he want? Elsa didn't let herself think about that, Hans quickened his pace to match hers and she smiled politely. He smirked back, sending a flame through her veins, fiery with fear. Elsa turned sharply, and slipped into the girls bathroom, she pressed herself against the wall, her heart thudding. He won't follow me here, I'm okay. She turned, looking at the mirror to see Hans entering. Elsa moved in front of him.
"Hans? Get out of here, whats your problem?" Elsa spoke anxiously. Hands just smiled and turned, locking the door. "Hans..." Elsa backed away from him, and he closed in on her- gripping her shoulder and forcing her into the wall. Elsa opened her mouth to scream- but Hans cupped a hand over her mouth, blocking the sound from ever escaping her lips. Elsa's heart stopped, her breath quickened with the fear and she tried to squirm away from Hans, his muscular stature forced her back to the wall. She scratched him, pushed him- tried to kick him, but his arms were too strong, he was too tall and muscular, she was too thin and short.
She tried to plead with him, but his hand muffled her. Hans stared at her face, but Elsa refused to stare back, looking at the ceiling, the locked door, the mirror, anything but the dizziness of his face. Hans drew his hand away from her mouth to pull down his pants, freeing his erected manhood.
"Hans... Hans please no I-... I'll do anything I w-wont tell anyone please.. please- don-on't" Elsa whispered her pleads, tears started to swell in her eyes, her hands pressed into the wall behind her, shaking with such ferocity they made hummingbird rhythms on the tile. Hans looked at her and smiled. She squirmed under his grip helplessly.
"Oh my darling, don't cry." Hans wiped her eyelids, Elsa still refusing to look at him. "Look at me." Hans demanded and moved his hand to her throat, squeezing it and threatening to break it. Elsa's vision blurred and she squirmed in fear- instinctively bringing her hands to her throat, trying to pull Hans's away. "Look at me!" Hans demanded again- and Elsa looked at him. His dark eyes were gleaming with satisfaction and evil. His fair skin contrasted with the blood red of his hair, and the longer she stared into those eyes the more frightened she became, the more his eyes seared into hers the more tears streamed down her face. And the more tears there were, the more satisfaction grew in his dark orbs.
Hans let go of her throat and Elsa inhaled sharply, before she could say a word Hand pulled a switch blade out of his jacket, holding it an inch away from her throat. Elsa began to shake uncontrollably, the fear clawing at her lungs was enough to make her start to sob.
"Stop it!" Hans growled at her and Elsa tried to control the rock of her breath. He traced her hips, sliding his hand into her underwear, stroking her. Elsa froze, her tears dripping off her face in consistency. She tried to block it out, she tried to disconnect herself from her body- forcing herself to take it, consume every blow without a flinch. Her lips quivered, her throat began to close each time she held back a sob.
Hans quickly took control of her, ripping off her jeans and inserting into her fiercely. Elsa went to scream in pain but the knife against her throat was a reminder of the consequences and instead Elsa squeezed her eyes shut and turned away. She cried hopelessly until Hans was finished, and when he was he grabbed a fistful of hair and forced her to face him.
"Look at me," He cooed gently. Elsa opened her swollen eyes and stared again into those dark, nerve-wracking eyes with fear. "You will not speak a word of this to anyone..." Hans pressed the blade against her throat again and waited for her to nod. Elsa nodded slowly and Hans pulled out of her, fixing his pants and turning away, leaving her there were she fell to the floor in dismay.
Elsa felt herself break, she felt the cracks, the filth.
Elsa stumbled to the door, locking it again and fell to her knees, sliding down the door and crumpling into a ball. Her hands shook and her breath was forced. She felt the pain and the shock consume her whole until there was nothing left but the sadness, the anger and the fear. This was her new life.
Present
Elsa fell to her knees and cried, her body rocking with sobs, her body shook and she kept repeating "No, please." Until Marco let go. Elsa pulled her hands close to her- the memories set on replay- over and over in her head, eating her alive.
Elsa waited until she caught her breath before she stood shakily, backing away from Marco and into the hallway.
"I'm so sorry Marco..." Elsa whimpered and turned, running down the hallway and into her bedroom, locking the door behind her, were she fell and screamed, the pain overwhelming her heart. She gripped her head in her hands, trying uselessly to stop the headache.
"Elsa," Marco pounded on the door, "Elsa, just... I still love you Elsa." Elsa's heart squeezed itself, skipping a beat, she had wanted those words for so long yet now they were ruined by the secret that haunted her life. Elsa looked up- staring at the mirror. How could he ever love me? I was never meant to be loved... Elsa curled into a ball.
"I love you Marco." Elsa said loud enough for him to hear. She felt herself breaking again, she stared at the blade- sitting on top of the desk, waiting for her.
"Let me in Elsa..." Marco tried turning the knob again, struggling against the lock.
"Don't you see?" Elsa sobbed again, she wanted nothing more then to open the door and let in Marco, to feel his skin against hers, to look into the emerald orbs that comforted her so gently. "I can't.." Elsa whispered, and pressed her forehead into her knees. Blocking out the sounds of the night, aware of Marco speaking to her through the door, but never hearing him. She stared at the mirror, the one thing in the world she hated most. The pain gnawed at her lungs, banging on her rib-cage ferociously. The monster inside of her grew stronger and made her sick to her stomach, Elsa whimpered and looked up at the ceiling, letting her gaze fall on the blade again.
"Don't do it Elsa." Marco whispered through the wooden barrier between them. He really was perfect enough to say the right thing at any given time. elsa flinched, holding her hands close to her chest. She used the doorknob to pull herself up and stared at the lock. She stared at it for so long her knees began to ache and both her ankles cracked, the entire time Marco whispered sweet-nothings to her. Elsa touched the lock and turned it, opening the door were the devious boy stood. She looked up at him, the tears streaming out of her face softly.
"Elsa please..." Marco moved forward and gently touched Elsa's cheek. Elsa stared at the emerald battlefield of his eyes, and she felt the guilt build in her chest. Marco ran his thumb under Elsa's eye, wiping her tears. At first Elsa flinched at the painfully familiar notion, the one that sent the memory through her mind again. What if Marco...
Elsa's gaze never left Marco's. No... Marco would never hurt me. And when Elsa looked up into his eyes she knew that she was right. Elsa touched Marco's jawbone, looked at him with desire- with hope. She closed her eyes and kissed him gently. Marco returned it sweetly, drawing back and setting his forehead against Elsa's.
For that moment Elsa felt a strange thing that began in her stomach and spread to her heart, she felt a natural smile creep on her face, she felt loved. She felt happiness and fulfillment. She felt like she belonged in her own skin again, and when Marco folded his arms around her she tucked herself into him, felling herself get a little stronger, a little tougher again.
Marco released her, and she pulled him to sit with her, the comfort of his presence lulled her to sleep, a sleep that felt natural, and eventually she heard his breath slow.
Elsa fell asleep for the first time in weeks, with Marco's arm draped across her.
.:*:.