WARNING: This chapter contains abuse, if your going to freak out about it skip over the 'Memory' portion of the reading.
Elsa started into the endless pits that were Hans's eyes. They were so dark- evil. Elsa's heart pounded, her knees trembled with fear and she remembered his words sourly. "You will not speak a word of this to anyone..." When Elsa looked back at the evil figure- she could see his was thinking the same thing. Don't let them know. Elsa forced herself to hold her own weight- despite the burning in her stomach and the electricity of her head that pounded on her temples.
Run. Her instincts screamed at her- the memories running coarse through her blood but Elsa forced a nervous smile into her face.
'Oh, H-Hans, yes I... I..." Elsa paused to gulp- the tears threatening to cloud her eyes. Hans looked at her with concern, hold her shoulder what would look 'gently' but really, he was squeezing her angrily.
"Elsa are you alright?" Elsa felt herself growing more fearful by the seacond, every word in her body itched at her to run, she felt her hands shake ferociously with anxiety. Run. Run. RUN.Elsa struggled to steady her breath.
"Yes I'm fine thank you- I have to go- now." Elsa turned without Marco and walked swiftly for the doors. She could feel Hans's gaze burning her back. Marco trotted behind her protectively. Elsa tried to calm herself again- but the adrenaline turned her veins to fire. Se felt the migraine return.
Cut.
Elsa gripped her shoulders intensely.
"Elsa?" Marco touched her back softly, the touch frightened Elsa, and the familiarity sent fear up her spine intensely. Elsa jumped back, turning around so quickly she fell backwards landing on her back- the memories growing strong enough to send her falling into their abyss.
Memory
Later in Elsa's Freshman Year.
Elsa's head spun with the nerves, her heart pulsated loudly. She looked over her shoulder, she already knew that Hans was there but the evil darkness of his eyes still sent shock waves of fear through her blood. Please don't follow me. Just this once please don't follow me.
Elsa curled into herself, the hatred for Hans swirling through the raging storm inside. He had taken everything from her. She stopped talking to her friends-who all thought she was a freak now- with the exception of Marco. She quit the cheer leading team to avoid getting close to anyone. She departed with her parents and her sister, because every time that she saw Anna's bright green orbs or her loving parents all she wanted to do was cry, break down and tell them every detail.
But she couldn't do that.
"You will not speak a word of this to anyone..." Hans's words vibrated in her head, refusing to leave her be. She cringed and looked over her shoulder again. He was following her- she knew it and there was no escape. As the halls began to empty, Elsa tried her hardest to quicken her pace. She needed to go home. She couldn't hide anywhere. There was nowhere to go.
It had become routine, Elsa tried to leave school- Hans followed her outside until she was alone.
Elsa stayed at school- lingering in the hallways and library, he would find other ways to lure her into the bathroom or the locker room.
Three months it had continued. Three months and her world was suddenly too dark to see were she was going- a hand covering the light switch, Hans.
Elsa fled the doors quickly, she knew out running Hans was useless, he always caught up to her before she could reach anywhere public. She stared at the field behind Fallen High School, the long stretch between were she stood and the back roads leading to her apartment complex. She took a deep breath, tried not to cry and began her walk. She bit her lip until it bled- the screeching agony clotting up her insides. Elsa shivered despite the spring-time warmth.
Hans eventually caught up to her, she knew that he loved every moment of her torture. She could tell that he loved the way he would fond ways to surprise her, but this time instead of scaring her he set his hand on her back softly. The feel of him touching her sent cold, shell-shocked waves of disgust to her throat, the nausea caused bile to rise in her throat. she tried to slow down, knowing that Hans would never try his games out on the field, but the hand on her back push her steadily forward.
Elsa looked over her shoulder at the student parking lot that was so close to empty, she begged that Hans would turn around, at this point she always begged that Hans would have a reason to leave, but he never did. Today was no exception.
"Come now slut. I have a new job for you I think you might like it." His breath trickled in her ear and she felt the bile rise in her throat. Hans took her by the wrist, yanking her towards an alleyway that branched off of the field, he had dragged her there before and she focused on her memo.
Don't feel, Don't feel.
Elsa had repeated this saying enough to know exactly how to disconnect herself from her body. As Hans forced her against the wall like usual she focused on the sky, the patterns in the bricks of the alleyway. The tone of a barking dog not far away. Elsa was aware of the switchblade's presence on her throat- it was all too familiar a sensation. Elsa was also vaguely aware of Hans entering her- another notion she learned not to focus on, yet it still pained her emotions the entire time. Elsa bite her lip again, focusing on not crying- she knew it only gave Hans more satisfaction, and she wasn't willing to give him that. To avoid touching him she always left her hands on the walls- avoiding any kind of contact with his filth. Hans stopped, unusual for him since he usually pulled out only right before he came. This notion frightened her to the bones, she tried uselessly to keep her breath steady, the depression crawling through her skin turned quickly into the anticipation of Hans's next move. He pulled Elsa's pants up at then his own. She looked at him with terror- and once she saw the satisfaction in his eyes she tried to conceal her emotion.
He drew the switchblade away from her neck, suddenly his hand was at her throat. He's going to kill me. Elsa contained herself as Hans lifted her off the ground. She felt her trachea close- she refused to bring her hands up to protect herself. She felt her skin burn- her lungs screamed at her for air but she didn't comply, she kept herself still- willing Hans on.
Just do it already.
I'm better off dead.
She didn't even realize that she was smiling.
Right as she felt her head dizzy and her eyes water Hans let go- Elsa fell to her knees, this time the sobs refused to be contained, and she cried uncontrollably.
"Just do it! Just kill me already..." Elsa sobbed profusely, not caring if this made Hans happy or exited or turned on. Hans grabbed her by her hair- lifted her face to look at him.
"You filthy whore," Hans spit, and just missed her face by an inch. "You don't deserve to die." Hand knelt down to her, the switch blade tucked away in his jacket. "However, I know a few people who would... If you ever told anyone..." Hans took a photograph and placed in on the ground in front of her. Elsa looked down to see the smiling faces of her parents and Anna. Her body trembled, her sobs stopped- fueled by utter and cruel hatred. Hands sat up with a smirk spread wide across his face. Elsa waited until he walked away and left her in the alley to pick up the photograph and hold it close to her chest.
"I won't let him hurt you Anna,"
Present
Elsa hadn't seen Hans since that day, the memory still hung in the air around her, and Marco's touch on her back re-fueled the agony. Elsa rambled, struggling to not cry.
"Elsa?" MArco looked down at her, half of him was scared the other half of him was concerned. He leaned down and picked Elsa back up to her feet. Elsa rubbed her shoulders. Almost two years and she was still living the nightmare. Elsa came close to Marco his arm was protective and strong. "Elsa, what are you so afraid of?" Elsa glanced around- the hallway was almost empty. She checked her sleeves, balling them into her fists again.
"Nothing Marco, I-... I'm just jumpy or something I don't know what's wrong with me." The bell rang over head and kids started to crowd the halls again, Elsa and Marco moved to the side to avoid being trampled by the stampeding teenagers. Marco looked at her for a few long moments, he knew she wasn't okay, even after Elsa gave hi a very believable smile. Elsa looked over the multiple heads of the slowly dissipating students. Where is he? She shook herself lightly.
Marco touched her cheek gently, and she let him kiss her- the warming of her lungs filled her again. She felt safe, warm, almost at home again within Marco's kiss.
"Come on Frostbite," Marco said softly as he pulled away, and link her hand with his. Elsa sighed in relief- relishing the moments she had with Marco- the moments were she felt as if she had the strength to stand.
.:*:.
3rd period, 5th period and 7th period. The only classes she had without Marco. 3rd period was English, she sat in the back of the classroom- alone and lost in a whirlpool of nothing. She kept her mind blank. That was how she kept herself from thinking about Hans, or Anna, or Marco. A few seconds before the bell rang the boy with hair that reminded her of snow bolted into the classroom, looking around and smiling when he saw Elsa.
Elsa pretended she didn't see him, and when he found the seat next to her she scribbled doodles in her notebook. She watched him through the corners of her eyes, a skill she had mastered so well. She felt something hit her forehead with a crinkling noise- and looked up to three giggling girls in the row before her- looking back and mouthing 'LOSER!' in unison. She flicked the balled up wad of paper off her desk- blocking out every comment that she heard through their gossipy conversations.
"OMG she is SO pale- what does she live in a cave? Maybe she's a vampire." The girls snickered. Elsa remembered her days in middle school and at the beginning of her freshmen year, drama and gossip used to consume her life- she hung out with the preppy girls, actually- THESE girls. She looked at them through the corner of her eyes. There were two girls with black hair and green eyes- Twins, Sophie and Rhi. She had known them for so long, the other one was a curvy girl with brown hair and big brown eyes- Courtney, Elsa went to elementary school and middle school with her.
"Wow nice nose ring, is it so that the farmers can find you in a crowd?" the girls laughed again and Elsa focused on the lines of her paper, jealously swirled in her stomach- the jealousy of being so plain. Envy rose through her lungs- and she rolled her eyes, the envy for simplicity. Suddenly all three of the girls gasped in shock, causing Elsa to flick her gaze back up at them. The girls were staring at the boy next to her, a rolled up piece of paper was flipping in his hand.
"Did you seriously just do that?" Sophie rolled her eyes at him and the boy leaned up close to her.
"Did YOU seriously just do THAT." The boy flicked his hair towards Elsa and she blushed, cowering back in her chair.
The girls rolled there eyes, Courtney smirked at Elsa.
"Oh nice body guard shitface," The girls all turned back around, turning there attention to the rambling teacher. Elsa looked at the boy angrily.
"Why did you do that?" Elsa whispered so that only he could hear.
"Cause I know what its like to be bullied." The boy turned- the mirror of his face reminded Elsa of herself. His eyes were much lighter then hers, they had a turquoise glint to them. When he turned Elsa noticed a bruise on his cheek and a long- thin scar on his forehead. When she looked closer she found more and more bruises and scars, as if the boy was being beaten constantly.
"You didn't have to do that," Elsa puffed and propped her head up on her hand. She could feel the boy next to her staring.
"I'm Jack, I just came here from Maine, Can I ask your name?" Jack's head tilted to the side playfully and Elsa played her fake smile.
"Elsa, Elsa Aren."
"Jack Frost." Jack held out his hand. Elsa looked at him oddly and took it lightly- his touch was freezing.
She let go, and focused in on her paper, she talked quietly to Jack throughout class, his soft voice and childish memos took her mind off the spinning world around her.
.:*:.
Elsa breathed in sharply- she wandered the hallways alone within a crowd of people. She kept looking over her shoulder- all around, she kept making sure that Hans's disgusting filth was nowhere near her. She spotted the mid-length black bob of hair and the bright green eyes- pushing through girls and boys to get to him and curl up in his grasp. She felt so cliche- running back to her protector, but she couldn't help the smile that played over her lips. She felt Marco's touch calm her raging nerves.
"Well hey there Forstbite, you okay?" Marco said softly when Elsa released him. Elsa smiled, looking up at him and taking his hand- again checking her sleeves. They were fine- hidden. Conceal it. When Elsa looked back up she found Hans glaring back down at her. Don't Feel it. Elsa stumbled backwards, into Marco's shoulder and she forced a smile onto her face- it felt so painful and stung on her face.
"Oh- Elsa!" Anna appeared behind Hans- jumping up and down cheerfully. "Hans this is Elsa- Elsa this is Hans." Elsa felt herself flush- she looked back at Hans, her face flushed, she felt the hole in her stomach start to eat itself.
"Oh I believe we have met before." Hans smiled at Elsa, causing her hands to curl and a fearful chill dominated her.
"Yes, we have." Elsa replied as calmly as she could- she remembered the way she used to talk to her parents when she came home from school with tears in her shirt or bruises on her body. The memory pained her enough to make her bite her lip- but she saw the way Hans looked in her- as if daring her to tell someone just so he could have the last laugh at destroying her.
"Oh good!" Anna held onto Hans's shoulder- the image making Elsa nauseous. The thought of Hans, doing to Anna what he had done to her, sent cold spikes of rage through her stared at his dark orbs, Don't you dare. "I mean me and Hans are so much alike-" No your not, he's vicious, he took everything from me- and you are my bright-faced sister, my only treasure I have left. "He's from Norway isn't that cool?" Elsa nodded and smiled at the little redhead. Oh Anna please I have to get you away from him! Elsa looked at Anna. Back at Hans, back at Anna again.
"Anna can I talk to you please?" Elsa didn't wait for an answer she took Anna by her arm and pulled her through the crowd, waiting until she was out of Hans's sight.
"Elsa what is it what is your problem?" Anna asked her with a bright blush of red- people were staring at her, not because of anything she had said or done, simply because she was with Elsa. "Seriously I was just making a friend I know he's-"
"Anna you have to trust me on this please." Elsa brought her hands up to her chest and gripped the sleeves nervously. "Please Anna just trust that just this one guy- just Hans-" Elsa felt herself getting choked up and had to lean against the lockers next to her. "Please Anna not Hans, anybody else."
Anna looked at her and scoffed. "Oh you think that now that I live with you - you can just tell me who to be Elsa? Where were you three years ago when I started middleschool and needed someone to tell me who to be? huh? Where were you Elsa- you left me, don't tell me who to be. Son;t pretend that it didn't hurt the way you just upped and left me one day Elsa." At this point people who had been staring had started to crowd around them, Elsa recognized faces- Courtney, The curvy girl that she had seen with Jack, Wesely- a small boy with big glasses. Hans. The anger- the pain- the fear, the emotions started to weigh on her again. She felt the world begin to slip away until there was nobody there but Anna. She saw Anna's face, she saw the anger- she saw Anna's lips moving but the words never reached her ears. Elsa's knees began to give way- followed by the trembling and the tears. She watched Anna's face turn to shock- then disgust as Elsa fell off her feet, her hands barely catching her. Elsa looked up at Anna- She saw the ginger scoff and turn away from her, Elsa stared back at the floor, back at her hands. The anxiety began to close in on her, she fellt herself stop breathing. The cloud of soffocation overcoming her.
She really does hate me.
Conceal it, Don't Feel it.
"You will not speak a word of this to anyone."
Elsa I still love you.
I know what it's like to be bullied.
Cut.
Elsa's rib cage finally collapsed and she felt herself go limp as her vision blurred out black.