Hey guys, sorry for the late update, I;ve been working on my new story 'Drowned' hope you guys will check it out! Also I want to put a Trigger Warning.

Elsa stared at the empty walls for one last time, hesitating before deciding one last walk through was necessary. She knew Anna Jack and Miza were waiting for her in her car, they could wait a few more minutes. She set her high top converse on the carpet again, setting her last box in the hallway before she ventured into the square of her abandoned den. The living room was bare, the balcony doors locked shut as was the kitchen. She ran her hand over the granite smooth were Anna had eaten the pizza and chocolate, were she had drank her coffee every morning to try an soothe her empty heart. She shuffled past the dining room, stopping only for a moment to stare at the place were Marco had discovered her secret. Elsa's eyes filled with tears that spilled again. She walked gently down the first hallway to her room, following her trails when she had run away in fear and locked a door to stare down a blade. She opened her bed room door were the mattress and bedpost that Marco had first made love to her on, what she could consider in her own mind as the place she lost her virginity.

Hans did not deserve that title.

She bit her lip again and her knees trembled in the doorway. Her head was overcome with the overwhelming sadness and she was terrified when she tried to remember the way Marco's skin felt against hers, and she could not remember. She tried to picture the curve of his jaw, a line she had memorize so well but the image was gone. She gritted her teeth when the only way she could see his face was when she remembered the way he pushed Anna away, the way he stumbled backwards at a hit to his purest point, the way his eyes flashed with fear and the way he turned to look at her for a split second before he hit the floor. The way his eyes glazed over and his lips parted in the sickening syllables of her name made her come spiraling out of control.

Elsa's legs gave way and she barely caught herself on the wall, she limped into the bathroom and stared at the mirror, as she was about to turn away she stared at her own disgust. She threw her knuckles into the mirror as hard as he could. The shattering of the glass a perfect memoir of her own state of mind. She realized she had not emptied her last drawer and when she yanked it open she found it vacant exempt a square of metal, a carpenters blade.

She touched it, swallowing her breathtaking sobs as a state of craving overcame her senses. She picked up her old friend and stared again at the blade.

I'm here for you. It seemed to whisper to her. I'll make it better. Elsa gripped in between her first two fingers and thumb of her right hand and held her left eagerly, but something had her hesitate. She sobbed once, her voice ringing through the empty halls.

"Elsa?" A tiny whisper sounded through the air and Elsa whipped her head around in fright, still jumpy. She was met by huge green eyes and coal hair. She suddenly remembered, his skin felt like flour to her fingertips. She remembered his jaw - it was a perfect curve, she could trace in on the counter top right now if she wanted to. She stared at Miza, and she remembered Marco. She flicked her gaze to the blade. I'll make it better. But at the sight of silver shining metal she remembered nothing, and nothing was better. She dropped the metal, hearing it 'clink' on the counter top and fell directly to her knees, letting out another sob.

"Oh Miza, Oh Miza darling I'm so sorry." She blinked up at the girl, she was staring at the metal on the counter top, she stared as Miza plucked up the metal again and say cross legged across from Elsa. "Miza, please, don't touch that," Elsa slid the blade out of her tiny hands. Miza took Elsa's arm, the one lined with purple and silver scars, she touched each one with an unreadable look.

"What are those from?" She whispered into think density.

"A battle." Elsa gulped, staring at the child she was responsible for now, hating every bit of herself for it.

"With what?"

"Myself."

"Why?" Miza flicked her gaze away from Elsa's arm and into her eyes, the emerald familiar and strangely comforting.

"I was lost."

"Did you find anything."

Elsa thought for a few moments too long. "Just how much I love you and Anna."

"And Marco?" Elsa nodded to her- the words sending pain crawling up her spine. "And Jack."

"And Jack." Elsa said. She threw the blade across the floor, bringing Miza into her arms.

"Elsa?"

"Yes darling?" Elsa whispered through the last of her sobs.

"Can I call you Mom?" Miza squeezed Elsa's sides with desperation, Elsa could feel the pain of her tiny heart and the shaking of her sobs as if they were her own. She kissed Miza's cheek and swallowed her pride, her fear, her cowardice, and her hatred for herself.

"Can me whatever you want to Miza."

"Okay... Mommy." And Elsa found herself within the maze, she found her face in the fog within the smell of Miza's hair and the clutch of her fingers on her sides, within Miza she saw Marco and she saw herself again.

She smiled and found the name on her lips important and full of life, full of taste. Mommy. Mom. Mother. Ma.

Anna's footsteps came through the hallway and Elsa barely noticed when she knelt next to the cuddled two, touching Elsa's shoulder. It scared Elsa enough to make her jump and squeal for a split second. Her jaw, along with her metal state was still scarred but she was free to navigate herself

"Elsa?"

"Anna," Miza's eyes were found swollen and tear filled, Elsa and Miza welcomed the fidgety girl into their embrace and for a minute the three girls were silent.

"Can I call you Auntie Anna?" Miza whispered and Anna stared up at Elsa.

"If that's what you want." Miza smiled through her tears, and as they stood to leave, Elsa was too occupied with Miza in her arms to even notice or care about the blade collecting dust on the carpet.

.:*:.

"Its perfect." Miza said very plainly as she stared around her room. Elsa had gotten a side of a duplex at the last minute, knowing that she did not want to return to an apartment soaked with painful memories, as she knew a calmer, more isolated part of town would be good for Miza and Anna. The room was painted purple, a tiny bay window looked out at their half backyard and with North and Benny's help Jack and Elsa moved in a twin sized bed decorated with flowered green sheets from an online website.

"Are you sure? If you don't like it I will trade you."

"No it's perfect." Miza looked up at Elsa with big eyes and set down her box of clothes and few items.

"Okay, well... make it your own kay Miz?" Elsa waited for Miza to nod before leaving to help Anna and the others unload their new home.

Hours later after Benny and north had left and the house had been long unpacked Jack took Miza outside and Elsa joined him.

"So, Mom?" Jack mumbled into the wind and looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"It was her idea." Elsa retaliated, her hostility sudden and uncalled for.

"I know." Jack said flatly, looking at Elsa with a hint of worry. "You need a ride to Dr. Amore's tomorrow?"

"No, I haven't driven a car in awhile, It'll be good for me I guess." Elsa looked up at him, he was so gentle, so sweet- wasn't he hurting? "Jack, are you seeing anyone?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, are you okay Jack?" She swallowed hard when he gritted his teeth in silence.

"Sandy is better, Anna is better, Miza is getting better and Han's trial is soon. Everything is getting better right?" Elsa cringed at the mention of Sandy, the mute was already injured in his vocal cords and a shot to his head injured his head were his hearing was located, Sandy was permanently deaf. Another injury caused by Elsa's secret telling.

"Thats not what I meant, are YOU ok?" Elsa watched Miza stare at a yellow flower while she waited for his answer.

"No, no I'm not okay." Jack's voice faltered and Elsa watched his face changed. She hesitated nervously before hooking her hands around his waist in a comforting hug.

"I'm sorry." Elsa whispered.

"Don't be," Jack hugged her shoulders tightly, the two watching Marco's sister play in the grass as they traded comfort through whispers and embrace.