Author's Notes: Okay, this is the longest chapter of anything I've ever written, but it was worth it. I think. (By the way, this is why I don't name chapters – I suck at it mightily). It's a flashback because it'll be much more interesting to get the story first hand than River and Ianto telling it to Jack and the Doctor.

I meant to post this tomorrow morning, actually, but I answered to a review and promised that it'll be tonight, so... there you go

Time Rings, for anyone who doesn't know, are devices very much resembling the Vortex Manipulators, but they're black and Time Lords made them. They did indeed become actual rings later on; I think Ten had one in one of the books.

While we're on references, the songs used (I couldn't resist using them, sorry) are Only if For a Night by Florence and the Machine and Read My Mind by The Killers.

The final sentence feels a bit out of place but I wasn't sure how else to do it, so I hope I did well, considering that it was also the first one from Ianto's point of view. As always, enjoy the chapter and I'd love to hear what you think because I'm still kind of hesitant about how it turned out.

And the only solution was to stand and fight

And my body was bruised and I was set alight

But you came over me like some holy rite

And although I was burning you're the only light

Darkness. Complete darkness everywhere and not a single sound to give Ianto any idea of his surroundings. He walked forward with one hand in front of himself, the other still uselessly clutching his semi-automatic. It didn't do any good against the Daleks or Cybermen when they were still around and it wouldn't do any good now if he was threatened – mostly because it was completely empty.

He stumbled over something and the surprised yelp died in its wake as he realised that it was a body. One of many. There had to be, what, twenty people apart from him who had survived? He could hear voices from above; he could feel their pain and confusion.

And just as the thought had appeared in his head, the others's feelings were suddenly overwhelming. Everything – all their emotions and sorrow and fear – were mixed in his head and he tried to reach out for Lisa, but she was too far away; maybe three or four floors above him. He couldn't find any trace of her in his head, but she had to be there. She had to be.

Ianto blindly groped for the nearest wall and leaned against it, trying to remember the basics of the mental shields. Breathe slowly, Yvonne had told him. In and out. In and out. Think about who you are. None of these people in your mind is actually you, so push them away. Push everything away until you're the only thing remaining.

Oh, but it hurt. It hurt so much. In a moment of helpless anger, Ianto wondered what the use of taking lessons personally from the head of Torchwood was if he couldn't deal with this now. After all, he'd been found by the Torchwood Institute at all because of the emphatic abilities he had. Our technology could sense you from the other end of London, Yvonne Hartman had said as he had looked up at her, stunned, from his place in the university library and asked himself – and her – what would one of the most influential corporations in Great Britain would want to do with a first year History student.

Ianto could feel all the other thoughts – foreign and unfamiliar and yet so similar to his own – take over his mind just as light pierced through the darkness.

He blinked, his eyes unaccustomed to actually seeing, and tried to look past the beam of light. It was a torch, he noted, held by a woman that was approaching him briskly. In her other hand, she was holding a sonic blaster that he was quite sure was the same one he'd repaired and filed just a few days ago. A part of his confused mind wondered if she wasn't an angel, because there seemed to be a halo around her head – like he'd seen it drawn in Russian paintings – before realising it was her hair.

She nudged him in the shoulder with the blaster, keeping him up against the walls as his legs threatened to give up the fight. "Hey!" Her voice was sharp, but melodic. "Hey, you! Don't you dare faint on me."

"It's so much," he managed. "I can't fight them. There's just so much–"

"I know." Her grip on his shoulder tightened. "But you need to pull yourself together. Remember what you're doing. Why do you need to keep going?"

"Lisa," Ianto breathed and the chaos of thoughts and feeling in his head started to quiet down. "I need to find Lisa."

The woman smiled and patted him on the shoulder as she realised that he could finally stand by himself. "That's right. Off you go!"

"Wait–" he started, but then gave up. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Her tone wasn't letting anything show, but he recognised the expression on her face.

Relief.

o.O.o

Ianto was getting restless and that definitely wasn't good. It was only his first week at Torchwood Three, barely three days had passed, and when he wasn't taking care of Lisa or he wasn't making coffee or cleaning the place for the dysfunctional bunch downstairs, he really wasn't sure what he was supposed to do here. The tourist office was too warm, the air conditioning was terrible and Harkness was watching him like a hawk on the CCTV feed, he was sure of it, so really, he could do with going home and sleeping for about two days.

He wasn't sure what the point of Three was, really. Nobody actually had any sort of preparation to deal with this sort of thing and nobody knew what they were doing. Owen was an asshole that Ianto would throw out of the window if they had any. Suzie was competent but Harkness paid too little attention to what she was doing down there in her station and Ianto was pretty sure that soon enough it would backfire spectacularly. Harkness himself was an annoying git – has been ever since Ianto had seen him in London, really – and didn't give a damn to what Ianto was doing as far as he would bring him his drinks and documents and flirt a bit. He was mostly harmless, though, which he hadn't expected. Toshiko was the only professional of them all and she was also the only one who didn't treat him like a drinks machine, even if she was quite shy with everyone, and so far they've got along quite well, but still...

The small bell on the door jingled as it opened and pulled Ianto out of his thoughts. He straightened his back, trying to look as professional as possible. "Hello, how can I help– It's you!"

He had recognised her instantly, despite the fact that the last time he'd seen her it had been complete darkness around them. She was dressed in black jeans and a long white shirt with a denim jacket over it – which didn't differ too much from the current fashion – but there was something else about her. She was really remarkable, but even that wasn't the main reason.

You couldn't just forget the face of the person who had saved your life.

"Yes," her voice was carefully controlled and for the first time Ianto noticed that she was royally pissed off. Her eyes – somewhere between green and blue, like the colour of the sea when the sun shines over it – were blazing and her lips were pressed into a thin line "And I have to talk to you. Now."

Ianto nodded briskly and tapped his comm. "Sir? Would you mind if I close here for a little while? I'll be back in an hour."

"Sure, why not," Harkness's voice responded immediately. "D'you mind getting us something to eat on the way back? I'm starving."

"Of course, Sir." Ianto made sure his voice was the embodiment of politeness and he hoped he sounded eager enough to help. After all, that was what he'd been hired for.

He made his way out of the tourist office, the woman following right behind him, and ended up right on the corner of the Millennium Centre – the only blind spot for cameras he could think of. Torchwood had made him paranoid enough for him to take cameras into account wherever he went, but maybe it was better that way.

As soon as he stopped, the woman hissed, "What are you doing here? What did I take you out of One for if you had to come here? Are you insane? Are you purposefully trying to get yourself killed? Because if you are, I might have a hard time preserving history."

"Wait a second," Ianto started when she paused to take a breath. "Preserving history? What does it matter to history if I die or not?"

It had been an honest question and that was why he stared at her in bewilderment when the woman started laughing. "Oh, honey, you have no idea."

"I want to, though," Ianto insisted. "You're from the future, aren't you?"

"You seem very calm about it."

Ianto shrugged. "I've seen worse. You know who I am, you talk about time as if you can change it... it only makes sense. Three years of Torchwood and a lot of sci-fi would do that to you."

"Three years?" The woman seemed interested now. "So you started when you were, what, twenty?"

"Yes," Ianto confirmed. "But what does that have to do with–"

The woman sighed as if he was being extremely uncooperative, then said, resigned and rather irritated, "Never mind that now. I've come too early. So sorry, but..." She fiddled with a device on her wrist for a bit – something that stirred a memory that Ianto couldn't quite get the hold of – that looked like a bracelet with a wide silvery circle on top of it and he thought Time Ring out of a sudden, only to shake the thought off a second longer. "See you in a minute."

And with that, she turned the silver circle on top of the bracelet and was gone before Ianto could object.

o.O.o

Ianto was rather grateful for coming home at a reasonable hour tonight. The storm outside was only getting worse by the minute and he wanted to have a few hours by himself. It wasn't like he hadn't anything to think of.

God, he had never guessed that Jack's presence could be so tiring. Two days since he had returned and it had thrown all of Ianto's newly-remembered senses into a complete chaos. It was pleasant – sort of – because his mere existence seemed to bring a bit of silence in Ianto's head – a head that was now full of memories and knowledge and feeling that had belonged to him once, years ago.

Now that he could remember it all, everything in his life seemed to make more sense than ever. The way his memories of his family and friends and general childhood had always been vague and he had never tried to return to them too much; the way he was always drawn in by the alien, the unknown – everything that would scare the normal human off.

Not much of a problem anymore, since he wasn't exactly human.

The war was all he could think of now. He longed to go back to his team, back to the war and to the flames which he'd welcomed gladly if they meant that he could protect someone else. Now, stranded here on this indifferent, blind planet was slowly killing him and he would give anything, anything to find the way back to Gallifrey – too far away and just out of reach at the same time, because Torchwood had the technology to contact species passing by. If he could only be left alone long enough to establish connection with a ship that could go all that way–

There was a knock on the door and Ianto stood up from his couch, frowning. Who could it be at this time of the day? If there was an emergency at the Hub, they would call and he wasn't exactly friends with everyone in the building.

In front of his door was a woman he'd been waiting for – desperately – for the last half a year (or a year and a half; it depended on how you looked at it and Ianto wasn't sure it was optional even for him), soaking wet, with two books she had pressed to herself under her jacket – under which she was wearing a knee-length black summer dress and heeled sandals.

"You came back!" was the first thing Ianto managed to get out before he moved away from the door, letting her in. "You said you'll be back in a minute!"

"I am. I went to the bookstore and here I am. Well, about ten minutes, really. And I had help," she lifted her wrist to show the device that had been there last time. "Half a year for you, yeah?"

He nodded as he took her jacket and placed it on the bench next to his keys. "Couldn't you teleport straight here? There's a storm outside."

"Really? I hadn't noticed." She shook her head and raindrops fell all around them. "Have you got any clothes here? I could take a bath in this dress."

As Ianto rummaged through his wardrobe, he wondered why it was that he took her presence as something so natural. She had showed up twice without so much as an explanation of who she was and what she was doing there but then again, his life could hardly classify as anything normal. Maybe that was it. It was natural because with him, weird was the natural thing.

He took one of his shirts and brought it to the living room along with the only jeans he had left here. "Where did you get these from?" She asked, looking the jeans over critically.

"They're Lisa's." By the look she gave him, Ianto was pretty sure that she knew what had happened. "I'm not sure if they'll fit, but they're the only ones I've got unless you'd like mine and they'll fall off you."

"Fair enough." She put on the jeans under the dress, then took it off over her head and tossed it on the couch.

Ianto was aware of the taken aback look he had probably given her, because she smiled a bit condescendingly. "Are you bothered?"

"No! Not at all." He bravely fixed his eyes on her face as she buttoned his shirt up. "Anyway... who are you? Last time you told me that you were too early. Too early for what?"

"I'm River Song. You're... well. You're my midterm subject. It's not an easy thing to hear but hey, you should be flattered." She laughed at his stunned expression. "Now it makes sense, right? Why I saved you in One."

River Song. It was a beautiful name and he had the nagging feeling that it wasn't the real one more than Ianto Jones was his actual name. "You saved my life so you could get more information for your midterm?" Ianto inquired, quite sure that this would be the first and last time he'd ever ask this question.

"Not exactly. I had to write about notable time travellers and actually the most notable ones are the Doctor, me and you, so..."

"I hate to say it," he really did, "but the Doctor is more interesting than me."

River scoffed. "I know more about the Doctor than the Doctor knows about the Doctor. It'd be boring. And I can't know anything about myself, so... I chose you."

"I'm actually going to be in history books some day?"

"Not all people get in history books because they've done good things, Ianto."

"They're still there, though."

"You know, people like you either burn down the world or rise up the Universe." It wasn't supposed to be a compliment, but the smile she accompanied it with said something else. "I like you. Well, I obviously do since we'll hang around together one day, anyway. I couldn't look up too much on that; personal timelines and all that jazz. But I've seen us on pictures together along with... well, other people, but I can't discuss that."

"So you basically want an interview?"

"Not really. I know all the historic facts and my teacher said that it's okay to only follow to where future me is not involved. I mostly wanted to, you know, get a hang of the place, I bet I'll get extra points if I show the emotional insight of it."

"What are you studying?"

"Archaeology."

"Have you thought about Journalism? I think you'd be good at it."

River laughed wholeheartedly before shaking her head. "Nah. A little insight is great; too much of it gets in the way of my work and that's happened too many times now." There was a pause, then she continued, as if unsure how to pose the topic. "I also thought you might want to travel. I can imagine what it's been like for you to stay here when you could be anywhere."

Ianto nodded. When he'd remembered who he actually was, it had been after the biggest time shift he'd ever experienced and the memories of a year of everyone from his team dying still lingered on the back of his mind, even though he was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to know anything about the Master and the Toclafane and the horror that had disappeared in a second, leaving him somewhere in the Himalayas with all his teammates in perfect health, different memories and a heart more than before. Ever since then, he'd been feeling like he was being kept in a cage.

"That's a Time Ring, isn't it?" He asked, nodding at River's device.

"Yes, although why it's called that when it's a bracelet is beyond me. I found it in the TARDIS; it's so packed with all sorts of stuff there that I bet he wouldn't even notice it's missing. That thing's older than dirt, mind; it's barely working."

"You've been in the Doctor's TARDIS?" Ianto asked as he leaned in and started examining the Time Ring. It was old, that much was sure. "By the time I was born, they were actual rings, much easier to use. I even had one, even though I didn't use it often. Can you use this to get me back to Gallifrey?" Ianto asked all of a sudden, realising what the potential of this was, no matter its age. "I can't just leave them there. My team is still waiting. What is it?" He asked when she just shook her head.

"Ianto, I... I thought you know. The Time War is locked. Both Daleks and Time Lords are in the time lock; you can't get there. Nobody can, not anymore."

"What?" Ianto was aware of just how shaky his own voice was. "No. No, it can't be. Why would anyone do that? We had every chance of winning. Who would do that?"

"Who do you think?" River's voice was just as quiet as his own. "The only one left."

"You're like me, aren't you?" While it had been disbelief that made his voice shake before, it was definitely anger now – not directed at her, of course. River nodded and he wasn't exactly surprised – he had sensed it the moment she'd came through the door. "How did you get out, then?"

"I didn't. I've never seen Gallifrey." She wasn't trying to make it sound dramatic; she was just stating facts and yet, it was the cherry of a cake that had been building up for ages.

"You've never seen–" The overwhelming fury that had been taking over him for the past few minutes reached its peak and suddenly Ianto found it hard to breathe, as if something was choking him. "I'm going to kill him."

"Ianto..."

"I am. I swear the moment I set my eyes on him, I'm going to kill him."

"What good would that do?" River asked unceremoniously, apparently not at all intimidated by the threats addressing a man she obviously knew. Or at least, she'd visited his TARDIS. "Really, tell me. How would it help? You'd just kill one of the two remaining ones of your species. It won't bring them back and Ianto, trust me, he did it because he had no choice. The Universe had been falling apart. You've got to admit it."

Ianto didn't say anything but, for the first time in half a year, allowed himself to cry. River didn't say anything but he had the vague idea that at some point she'd invaded his bed while he'd been lying on the couch all night.

The good old days, the honest man

The restless heart, the Promised Land

A subtle kiss that no one sees

A broken wrist and a big trapeze

River came and went whenever she pleased and Ianto learnt to expect her to be there at all times. She ate his food, rearranged his furniture, wore his clothes and slept in his bed – on several occasions while he'd been in said bed – and she did it with the air of someone who felt they had the right to do so. He found out that she was just three years older than him, having turned twenty-eight in February, and studied in Luna University. He'd heard of the place before, of course, while he'd still been on Gallifrey, and asked her all sorts of questions of what it was like. They sometimes spent hours – mostly at night since Torchwood consumed his days and she was dabbling with visiting him, visiting the Doctor and studying – talking about what they'd seen before. He told her of Gallifrey and she talked about the future.

On a few occasions, they even visited other times and places with her Time Ring and Ianto usually had to explain his injuries to a rather concerned Jack on the next day, but he simply couldn't get enough of it all.

o.O.o

"Oh, no shirt, then!" The cheery voice sounded behind him as Ianto looked for something to wear in his wardrobe. "Can we make this a thing?"

He glanced over his shoulder. "Only if we can make the dress you wore last time a thing – hey, is that my shirt?"

River shrugged innocently and sat on his bedroom cabinet. "It might be." It was a burgundy red one and she'd paired it with high heels in the same colour and a light blue pair of jeans. It was an undeniably attractive look, but he still pointed out, "It is. And I've been looking for it."

"You can't wear it tonight anyway." She had picked up the note left on his bed. "It says casual here. You wouldn't know casual if it hit you with its car."

"Have you looked at your shoes recently?"

"Shut up and let me have a look." River pushed him away from the wardrobe and started going through everything she could find. "Goodness, is there anything here that could even approach casual?" She gave a small cry of victory as she pulled out a pair of jeans and an old t-shirt he'd had since London and passed it to Ianto. "There you go."

"I can't wear that," Ianto protested immediately. "I don't even know why I bought it. I'll look ridiculous."

"No, you won't," River said decisively and sat back where she'd been before. "I think I saw a pair of combat boots in the hallway. They'll go nice with the outfit and I can help you fix your hair."

Ianto grudgingly started dressing in the clothes she'd given him while River threw in pensively, "You know, you going out on a date was supposed to be in the history books. Who cares if you've saved three planets at once? You and 'date' is a much stranger concept." Ianto threw her a dirty look over his shoulder. "Who's the one who managed to get you out of your lair?"

"He's a part of the lair. It's Jack."

"Jack?" He nodded without looking at her. "Really, though? You're going on a date with Jack?" River had never seen anyone from Torchwood, but she knew basically everything about them from him.

"What's wrong with Jack?"

"Nothing. I just didn't think he was your type."

"You'll find that if you work with only four other people with pretty complicated inter-relationships and you have no right to tell anyone outside what your job is, your options are severely limited."

"You've got a point." River stood up, took his hair gel from his hands and onto his hair and started to carefully shape it. "I was wondering how you would feel for a little bit of a mission in France before that? Pre-French revolution, but just barely. There's a necklace I want and I don't feel like robbing museums."

Ianto glanced at his watch. He had half an hour until his date with Jack but then again, they could get back in time whenever they liked.

Before he could stop himself, he took her hand and nodded.

Hours later, when they rematerialised in a side street near the club Jack had chosen for tonight, Ianto found out that he didn't want to part with her. River seemed to read it in his eyes or, perhaps, the feeling was reciprocated, because she leaned in and for a moment it looked like she was about to kiss him before changing her mind and dropping a kiss on his cheek.

"You don't want to know what's in my lipstick," she said with a smile at him probably disappointed look. "And I don't want you to be out cold for the rest of your date. See you around."

"See you," Ianto echoed as she disappeared into a small cloud of smoke and, after taking a deep breath, he turned around the corner and headed for his date.

o.O.o

Their routine – if one could call it that – went on for months before one morning, River showed up at his flat with the look of someone who had very, very bad news and wasn't sure how to deliver them. She also seemed upset and Ianto didn't want to push it, but after a few minutes of tense silence, she told him herself.

"This summer – I can't tell you the date, but it will be this summer – Torchwood will have to visit London. And, from what I'm seeing... this is where you're going to die. It's a fixed point; I can feel it."

Ianto's mouth had suddenly went dry and he tried to speak besides that fact, but it didn't come out very well. "So I'll have to regenerate?"

"No, you'll have to die. You death triggers a long line of events that must happen, or..."

"Or what?"

"I don't even know! Many things. The Rift will open; a good amount of people will die. It's closely connected and I'm not even sure how, but... that's how it is."

"All right then. How do I do it?"

River seemed surprised. "How do you do what?"

"How do I repress my regeneration? Because if I'm going to die, I'll have to do it. This is my first body and I've never had to deal with anything like this before."

Ianto wasn't sure what she found in his eyes and what connected her thoughts to his but suddenly, her expression became horrified. "Do you actually think you're going to die? As if, die and never come back?"

"Well, you did say–"

"But I also told you we'll probably meet at some point in the future, you berk!"

"Time can be rewritten!" Ianto tried to defend himself, his face flushed in indignation.

"And you were ready to do it?" River asked incredulously. "You were ready to die, just like that, because the Rift would open otherwise?"

"Of course I would, I'm–" But none of them learnt just what he was because River pressed her lips against his, her kiss passionate and fiery and before he could stop himself, Ianto was responding to it with similar enthusiasm, feeling as if all his senses had suddenly went berserk. He had never felt anything like that before; it was like he could see the Universe turning the way she saw it and, from the way she gasped into the kiss, he supposed that it was the same for her.

When they finally broke apart, they both fixed their eyes on the floor, then looked up with identical smiles that clearly said I know. Not just to what they'd experienced, but to everything else as well; the ultimate understanding all packed up in a kiss.

River pressed something into his palm and Ianto looked down to see that it was one of her lip gloss things. "That's for the Captain, in case he starts suspecting something about your nature." Ianto felt a stab of guilt at the thought of Jack but it was quickly silenced as he kept listening intently. "I know that you don't want to hurt him, but if he finds out, you'll have to make him forget. It's crucial that he shouldn't know anything about it until your death, okay?"

Ianto nodded briskly. "Okay."

River smiled and kissed his cheek. "Meet you tomorrow night in front of the Tourist Office for more information," she said as she set the coordinates to her Time Ring. "See you soon."

It had turned into a farewell of theirs because neither knew when they'd actually meet again – even though they met in linear order, it was still quite difficult to arrange an hour and a place considering the lives they led. "See you."

Quite some time passed before they met again.