Choosing to Be

by TayNeyNey

It is Ginny Weasley's sixth year at Hogwarts, and it is not going at all like she imagined. Death Eaters invade the halls, Harry Ron and Hermoine are gone, and the students are barely holding on under the new regime. And to top it all off, a certain Slytherin stares at her everyday. What does it mean, and what does he want?

11. Luna Lovegood

"No."

Ginny sighed internally but was careful to keep her face free of emotion. She needed to practice keeping her face blank, wary of what Malfoy could see in her features. He always seemed to know what she was thinking, even before she did, and Ginny hated it so she had determined to make her face into a mask even the great Draco Malfoy could appreciate. She had also determined to learn how to read people like Malfoy did.

For instance, right now Neville was extremely displeased with a touch of fear for her sanity. The displeasure was easy enough to read, his arms were folded so tightly his hands were turning white, balled into fists that dug into his sides as though he needed three levels of restraint to keep from grabbing his wand. His face was equally as colorless, and he had stood up as soon as she had begun speaking. She thought he might even pace if he wasn't worried it would draw attention to them. As for thinking he thought her insane that was just a guess based on what she would think in his place. Trusting Draco Malfoy, well not much else could be a true indicator of insanity these days.

"You can't be serious," Neville continued, fingers flexing. He would grab his wand soon, Ginny thought, if only to make himself feel better. Holding a wand was always oddly comforting. He turned to Luna, anger making his lip curl slightly. "What do you think?"

Luna was sitting down at the table Ginny had led them too. Her face had stayed placid throughout Ginny's speech, and Ginny admired her form. She had never really thought about how well Luna could mask her thoughts and feelings, but the Ravenclaw was almost as masterful at it as Malfoy was. The only sign Ginny could find that Luna was agitated was in the way she tapped her fingernails against the beaten wood of the library table. Ginny could only hope that Luna would listen to her; if Luna gave this plan a chance then so would Neville.

"Tell me again what he said about helping us," Luna demanded in the hard yet soft tone of voice Ginny was used to hearing only when the DA was around. The voice of a commander, Ginny thought, though she had never said so.

"He said that he wouldn't torture me, or Neville, or you if he was assigned to our detentions. He also said we should pick our fights more carefully because we won't last if we keep this up. He has a point."

Neither argued that at least, and Ginny wanted to weep with gratitude. So far, they had fought her on everything else. Ginny had barely managed to announce that she had seen Malfoy before Neville jumped down her throat. Dangerous and stupid were the two words that came to mind of his little tirade, he had repeated them so often. It had taken an hour to get the entire story out, everything except the notes. Ginny could not bring herself to explain the notes, though the curious light in Luna's eyes would soon make the blonde girl inquire Ginny had no doubt. She was undecided about whether she would actually tell her best friend the truth. The notes were special, secret, different. They were personal unlike the rest of it. Ginny had told the two that Malfoy's reason for helping her was honor because of his father's part in her stint in the Chamber, which was not a lie.

That had been a nasty little shock. With startling clarity Ginny saw again Draco perched in the window seat, pale moonlight shining behind him in a very becoming way that had immediately unsettled Ginny. It was not right that a snake should look so angelic. She had been prepared for almost anything except Draco bringing up the Chamber of Secrets. It was something she never spoke about, something she tried to dissuade others from speaking about. Only a select few knew the entire truth, of her possession and her guilt, but even those who knew could never understand, aside from Harry. But Ginny had never spoken about it with Harry. She had wanted a light, carefree relationship with Harry, idiotic as that sounded. Having Malfoy know unsettled her, but not as much as she would have thought. It was a relief to finally have a reason behind his behavior, even if that reason made little sense to her.

Honor, itself, was not a foreign concept to Gryffindors of course. It was honor that made them courageous, Ginny liked to think. Honor that made their sense of right and wrong so potent. But this honor Draco spoke of, this she did not understand. His father was the guilty one, not him, so what did he have to blame himself for? What could he hope to do? Malfoy equated honor to debt, and Ginny couldn't understand it, but she accepted it. Neville did not understand it, and was nowhere near accepting it.

"Good advice," Neville grumbled with such grudging that he reminded her of Ron. It was a knife to her stomach, thinking of her older brother. Ron would hate her for this, in the way he hated people who he saw as betraying him. At least with Ron, she knew his anger would fade, and he would come to trust her judgment. She was not sure if Neville would trust Draco Malfoy, no matter if Ginny was backing him. "But I don't trust him," Neville reaffirmed just as she thought it.

"I'm not asking you to trust him," Ginny shot back. "I'm asking you to trust me."

"But you trust him; it amounts to the same thing."

Even Luna nodded along to that, though she shot Ginny a slightly apologetic look as she did it.

Ginny wanted to rip out her hair, but settled for running an irritated hand through it instead, a new habit she had picked up recently when she was frustrated. "Fine, but don't you think Malfoy has proved himself? He didn't torture me my first detention, and he's protected me!"

"And he tortured you," Luna answered in her perfectly logical voice. Neville looked sick and angry enough to kill at the reminder. Being the only one who knew what Malfoy's torture felt like, Neville took that offense the most seriously.

"For a few seconds because I provoked him," Ginny argued back, the words already worn out. They had been having the same argument since she had told them the entire story. "He stopped as soon as he realized and he made Filch come to me."

That was the deciding factor for Ginny really, that Malfoy had sent her Filch. It was equivalent to a white flag of surrender as far as Ginny was concerned. Sending Filch showed caring, concern, guilt. That was enough for Ginny. If Malfoy cared then he would keep his word. Not to mention his penchant for honor. As for the torture, Ginny shuddered. That she could not think about. If she even let her mind slip to the memory anguish flooded her brain and fear enclosed her lungs. It had felt like she was being possessed again, like Voldemort-

Ginny cut off her thoughts immediately. Draco Malfoy was not Voldemort, and Ginny was in control of herself, of her life, this time. She was not some weak child searching for a friend and trusting the wrong person this time. She wasn't. Trusting Draco Malfoy was her own decision, a logical decision, and, most importantly, Ginny's decision. She would not be played as a pawn again.

"How do you even know if it was only for a few seconds?" Neville looked about to rip his hair out as well when Ginny returned her focus to him. It was hard to remember that Neville had suffered under Malfoy's hand, the boy had changed so much. He was large now, one of the tallest boys in his year and he had filled out. He had newfound courage as well, born after the events in the Department of Mysteries but fed by the Carrows regime. Neville was no longer a scared little boy, avoiding Malfoy in the halls, but that did not make him ready to trust the Slytherin. Grudgingly, Ginny could admit that he had good reasons, but that did not mean he should not trust her.

"He said so," Ginny snapped, plowing on when Neville scoffed. "I trust him. I can't explain why, or how it happened, but I trust him. He hasn't hurt me, aside from that one instant and no matter what you say, I know he didn't lie. I could see the truth in his eyes." Knowing she sounded like a foolish girl, Ginny clammed up, but she did not regret her words. Malfoy had been telling the truth, he had been even if she could not explain how she knew. "Look," Ginny sighed, "at least give him a chance. He has proven himself to me. Give him a chance to help us. It isn't like we'd be doing anything differently. There's no risk to us. Now, there's just a chance that we won't be tortured."

Neville scoffed again and stared down at his feet, muttering darkly, but Luna was studying Ginny. Unsure of what her friend was looking for, Ginny let her face relax into what she hoped was an honest look. She needed Luna to take her side.

"He said he would not be a part of the Order?" Luna's voice was sweet, but her blue eyes were serious.

"No." He had also said he had no interest on being on their side, but Ginny didn't say that. He was on her side, and no matter what he thought, that did put him on their side, at least a little. That was all she needed, just a little bit of help from him. Ginny had plans now, a new determination and Malfoy could help her. If he agreed to it, but that was a different argument.

"Good," Luna nodded to herself. "I would have been suspicious if he had committed himself to our cause. His father is very cunning and Draco was not sorted into Slytherin by chance. A plot with Draco at the center playing spy would not surprise me, nor would his targeting you surprise me. You're the closest the Death Eaters are likely to get to Harry with Hermione and Ron gone as well."

That made Ginny's heart drop. She hadn't even considered that. Could it be a plot devised by Lucius Malfoy? Was Draco a pawn, a spy, for his father and Voldemort? Draco had always sought his father's approval, it was one quality about him that made Harry pity him. But no. Ginny shook those thoughts away. When Draco had mentioned his father, he had plainly held disdain for the man. His lip had curled and his eyes had darkened in anger. As for Voldemort, Draco had called him a maniac and swore he did not wish to see the Dark Lord in power.

"But," Luna continued, her brow furrowing as she puzzled it out. "That doesn't mean I trust him. He may not wish to harm you Ginny, but I can't trust that that extends to me and Neville. Malfoy has shown no indication to either of us that he doesn't hate us. He has been indifferent."

Ginny wanted to snap that his indifference was the indication, but she held her tongue. They wouldn't believe that either, not understanding Malfoy's character. She understood his character though, as Harry had come to understand Malfoy in the end. Harry's understanding had never led to fondness though, but Ginny's case was different. Everything was different, but Ginny no longer felt like she was spinning out of control. She felt empowered.

"Exactly," Neville replied, turning back to face them. He had been pacing as Ginny had predicted but now he halted. "He doesn't like me Ginny."

"He doesn't have to like you. Not wanting to torture someone doesn't mean you have to like them. It just means you don't want to torture them." She ignored how similar her words sounded to Malfoy's.

"So what does this mean then?" Luna, ever the voice of reason, inquired. "If we do take his word, what does it mean that he won't torture us?"

Ginny breathed a silent sigh of relief. With that question, she knew Luna was on her side. The quiet girl's eyes were still dark with suspicion, but she was on Ginny's side. She confirmed it with a small smile when Ginny grinned at her. "Now it means that we hope we get assigned detention with him. Other than that, nothing. I think we should heed his advice about picking our fights better, but other than that nothing changes." Ginny hadn't even been sure she should tell them about what Malfoy had said about detention, but then she had realized that they might earn detention with Malfoy and there was no guarantee that she could talk to them before then if she didn't tell them now. At least if they knew ahead of time, they could mention it to Malfoy, to make him keep his word. It changed little, really, but it changed something at least. It was a small safety net, but it was one they had not had before.

Luna shrugged then, smiling fully. "Well then I say we trust Ginny to trust Malfoy, and I also agree that we should choose our fights wiser."

They both turned to Neville who looked distinctly unhappy but the anger had fled him. Just as Ginny had thought, once Luna was on her side, Neville followed. "I won't trust him," he declared petulantly, "but there's really nothing to be done about it either way. Heed his advice, fine, but only because it is the logical thing to do."

"Logic," Luna teased, with a small smile on her face, "you Gryffindors wouldn't know a thing about that." Neville laughed and just like that, the fight was over. Ginny relaxed as he shot some comment back at Luna and the Ravenclaw laughed in return. She hadn't realized how much it mattered to her that they trusted her judgment, but it did. They were her best friends now, Luna and Neville. She needed to know that they trusted her completely, as she trusted them.

Draco glared at the note in his hand, crumpling the parchment forcefully in his fist. He did not need to read the words again to hear them, echoing clearly about in his head in her voice.

Come to the library.

Below that was scribbled a time, assumedly Ginny Weasley's free period as the note was written in her hand. She hadn't signed the note, thank Merlin she had had that much sense, but Draco wondered how she had known he would recognize her handwriting. Had she simply trusted that he would? She certainly had been alarmingly trusting so far. The knowledge did not sour Draco's mood, as he thought it might, but it did make him feel strange to know that Ginny Weasley trusted him already. He had thought he would have to earn her trust again, or that perhaps they would have to go back to communicating through notes. It would certainly be easier for her, no doubt, if he only gave her notes. Paper lent a certain anonymity to matters, even if you did know who was writing the note. Taking Draco's written advice was one thing, but meeting up with him was another entirely.

And yet… The paper crinkled as Draco unconsciously flexed his hand again. The note had been waiting for him this morning on the desk of his first class. How Ginny Weasley had even known what class was his, let alone what desk was his, Draco had no idea. But the note had scared him. What the hell was the little bint thinking, leaving a note out in the open like that? He had seized it so quickly the parchment had ripped, but when he opened it, he saw that she was not as stupid as he thought. Only the one sentence greeted him, and the time, but no signature. Still, it was a risk he rather wished she had not taken. Blaise had seen the note, merely looking at Draco with that same speculative look on his face clearly aware that it was from Ginny.

But it was more than just the risk of the note that unsettled Draco. It was the fact that Ginny was so comfortable with him she was demanding his presence. It certainly wasn't a question; she wasn't asking if he would come to the library. It was a demand. Ginny Weasley was giving him commands, just as he had given her commands in his notes. The irony twisted Draco's lips into the semblance of a smile, but it was colored with a mixture of ironic humor and that same black mood he couldn't name. It felt dangerous, like they were friends almost. Why that made Draco so frightened, he couldn't say, but the idea of being friends with Ginny Weasley made him feel as though he had missed a step on the stairs. That moment of absolute terror where your mind feels as though you fall an eternity before your foot smashes into the floor and sends a shock of pain up your leg all because you missed a step and weren't looking – that was how Draco felt looking at the note.

It was only a note, but it seemed so much more.

Besides, it did anger Draco on some level. He had never liked being told what to do, and Weasley presuming to do so irritated him. It was not that he thought her beneath him, not anymore, but it was hard to shake the idea that he was the one in charge. He had always been the one in control of their interactions, until lately when she kept sneaking up on him. This was much more direct though, and he couldn't stop himself from thinking that a Weasley had no right to give a Malfoy orders. There was also the fact that she assumed he would willingly skip out on his class. It wasn't as though Draco had her free period, a fact he would assume she was wise to if she knew his schedule, which the note suggested. Draco did skip classes; he had once before to find her even, but it was a risk. A small one admittedly. None of the teachers could truly punish him; they feared what Snape would do, assuming he and Snape were close. They were certainly wrong on that point, Draco thought with a sneer, but he had done nothing to dissuade them from thinking so. It was beneficial for the teachers to fear him, some of them even hated him.

But it did make him uncomfortable that Ginny felt she could take such liberties with their new deal. Had Draco not made it glaringly obvious that he was not in her stupid little defense group? Had he not blatantly said he was not on their side? He thought he had been clear enough. He felt anger rising in the pit of his stomach at the assumptions Weasley was making. Draco Malfoy did not let others control him, not anymore. He was going to be free of all of this after this year, and that included Ginny Weasley.

He glared at the note again, and then glanced up. For all his anger – which he kept pushing down as the memory of what he had done the last time he lost his temper raised bile in his mouth – he was here. The library was mostly empty in the middle of the day, but then the room was mostly empty most of the time this year. No one was learning; it was all a farce, and no doubt students would have to repeat years if this war ever ended and Potter came out victorious, somehow. Draco was not entirely convinced that would happen, honestly, and yet he was still here.

He had left his class almost immediately after reading the note, blatantly ignoring Blaise as the Slytherin shook his head. What Blaise thought of him was of little concern to Draco, though he was sure his friend would have something to say, later that day. He had not been entirely sure he was going, even as he left, he just knew he could not stay in that class. But again, he was still here, uncertainty and anger at war in his chest.

It only took him a few seconds to spot Weasley. Her hair was like a beacon, demanding attention. Loud and untamed, it symbolized everything the Weasley's were. Their hair was just one offense on a long list his father used to have against the Weasley's, all reasons for why they could not be considered true purebloods. Draco had always liked her hair for the very reason that his father hated it; his own small rebellion. Somewhere along the way, he had actually grown to truly find it attractive. Now the sun was shooting through it, tangled and unkempt though it was, her hair glowed like fire in places, like gold in others. She stood at a table in the very back of the library, almost hidden completely, but the windows behind her let the sun in, outlining her. Her hair was probably her best feature, Draco mused watching her, and then realized what he was thinking. A cold wall slammed down on those thoughts. Merlin, was he an idiot? Finding Ginny Weasley attractive was the last thing he needed to concern himself with right now.

Irritation growing once again, Malfoy stomped forward, the note a crumpled ball in his fist. "Oi, Weasley, what in the name of Merlin were you-" but he halted with one hand outstretched, millimeters away from grabbing the girl's shoulder to whip her around and face him. There was another person at the table with her.

"Hello Draco," the girl's musical voice was disconcerting and the faint smile she fixed Draco with was even more so. Her eyes showed more about her true feelings, a light blue not dissimilar from Draco's own color, he recognized the suspicion in them. He was being measured up, and Draco knew exactly who he was facing.

"Lovegood." He snapped out the last name, studying the Ravenclaw girl with badly concealed disdain. The name Loony had almost slipped out, but at the last moment Draco had caught himself. Insulting Ginny's friend would not be the most prudent way to start out. Still, he sneered at her. "What are you doing here?"

"I invited her, Malfoy," Ginny turned to face him, her arms crossing defensively. She had jumped when she had heard his voice, but she was calm now. She was closer to him than normal. It threw Draco off for a moment, having her that close. She had a sprinkling of freckles across the bridge of her nose that could not be seen except when you were up this close. They made her look younger.

Some of the anger had left Draco's voice when he responded, "Yes I figured that out for myself, thanks. Why is she here?"

"I'm deciding if I should trust you."

Draco turned his eyes to the girl filled with disbelief. She was staring back at him with that same small and pleasant smile fixed on her face. Other than that her face was surprisingly still, a mask excellent enough to rival Draco's own. She didn't look like much, this Lovegood girl, but Draco was quickly seeing how misleading that was. With her blonde hair and impish looks Draco had thought she looked fragile, and she did, but looking at her now, he knew she was not fragile. Not at all. In fact, he suspected suddenly that she propagated that look on purpose. She wanted to appear small and weak, and that implied a certain cold, cunning a Slytherin could appreciate. It set Draco on edge. "You're blunt," he snapped back, reminded oddly of Zabini. Blaise had certainly always been blunt with Draco, and now Draco remembered that Blaise had been oddly concerned with what he would do to Lovegood for her detention. He would need to ask about that, but Draco could not think about it now. The Lovegood girl was still watching him.

To distract himself, Draco raised his fist up between himself and Weasley, the paper peeking out between his fingers. "What is this?" he tried to keep his tone even, but the words still came out as a hiss.

Ginny just looked at his fist blankly. "A note," she sounded bored. "I should have thought you would recognize one."

Draco caught her meaning, and it only angered him further. "No this is dangerous," he deftly withdrew his wand from his pocket and before Weasley could blink, had set the paper to burning. She gasped and drew out her own wand, taking a step back and walking into the table, but Draco watched the paper burn. He released it and observed the ashes floating to the floor with satisfaction. There, that had alleviated some of his anger. He put his wand away and then looked at Weasley again, ignoring her own wand pointed at him. "Anyone could have picked that up."

She was glaring at him, clearly irritated. She shoved her own wand forcefully back into a pocket. "Yes, and I made sure not to write anything important on it. Calm down, Malfoy. It was only a place and a time."

"A place and a time that would have led here to you," Draco was nearly gritting his teeth in frustration. "Honestly, Weasley, how daft are you?"

Her eyes narrowed and spit fire at him. "It's the library, Malfoy! Students are always here, it's not like anyone would know I was the one who wrote-"

"And if you were the only one here?" he interrupted. "What would that imply?"

She snapped her mouth shut, hate blaring out at him through her snapping eyes. Draco wanted to smile in victory, childishly. "They could assume all they wanted," she muttered. "They would have no proof."

"They don't need proof."

Ginny ran a frustrated hand through her hair and all her anger left her in an instant. She stood with one hand on her hip and one still tangled in her hair, holding the strands away from her slightly flushed face. She was leaning slightly against the table behind her, and she looked a bit stressed. "Fine, then. Notes are dangerous," she admitted it only grudgingly. "How am I supposed to contact you then?"

"Why would you need to?" Draco shot back, crossing his arms against his chest and planting his feet. He quirked an eyebrow at her. "In fact, why am I here now?" His eyes narrowed suddenly and slight panic infected his voice. "Wait, you haven't already gotten yourself a detention have you? Merlin, Weasley I only just told you-"

"No, Malfoy. How stupid do you think I am?" she waved off his answer, clearly expecting it to be as rude as it was. "Nevermind. No, no one has detention. Luna wanted to clarify some things with you."

Draco turned his eyes on the Lovegood girl again and nearly jumped when he found her eyes scrutinizing him still. She didn't look so mistrustful now, more discerning. Again, he was reminded of Blaise. "What?" he snapped, his frazzled feelings making him rude. "What needs to be clarified?"

The Lovegood girl – Draco thought her name was Luna – finally dropped the scrutinizing look and switched back to a blank but friendly expression. "Well, I wanted to see if I could trust you for one," her quiet voice carried surprisingly well, "but I can see that I can."

Silence fell, and Draco found himself wondering if he had truly heard her right. "Sorry?" His mind spun. What was wrong with this lot? Why did they keep giving out their trust so quickly? If this was how they all acted, none of them would survive this war.

Luna nodded to herself again, clearly confirming something she had been thinking. "Yes, I can trust you," she smiled and it was innocent of any hidden meaning. It was a nice smile, just as she was nice. Draco didn't trust her or that smile. "Ginny told me and Neville that you wouldn't torture us, if you were assigned detention duty."

Draco shot Ginny a look, but she was watching the exchange with faint bemusement twisting her lips. "Err," he stumbled slightly over his words. "Yes, well obviously that only applies when I'm assigned the detention, and no one else is around."

She nodded sagely, blonde hair bouncing in waves around her head. "I had assumed. And this protection, of sorts, won't extend to anyone else?"

"Who else would it extend to?"

"Members of the DA," her blue eyes were hard now. "Any and all members of the DA. Not everyone who receives detention is a member, obviously, but if we could ensure that those who were wouldn't be tortured…"

"No." Draco was completely firm in this decision. "It would be a huge risk to myself, and you couldn't guarantee that besides. I am not assigned to every detention." He honestly was not even sure he would continue to be assigned to detentions. He had made the promise to Ginny in a sudden fit of generosity honestly. It was a hollow promise, as all of his promises were. They had to know that, deep down.

Luna pursed her lips but did not look surprised. Draco dared not look at Ginny, knowing she would be disappointed. "I thought that would be your answer."

Again silence fell between the three of them, and Draco fidgeted in discomfort before he realized what he was doing. Then he straightened and stood stiffly. He was a Malfoy and Malfoy's did not squirm. Lovegood continued to look at him, studying him as though he were a new species. The Ravenclaws all had a tendency to do that, but with her eye color, it was oddly more unnerving.

Finally, Ginny broke the silence. "So?" she wasn't looking at Draco as she said this, but at Luna. It was then that Draco understood: Ginny had just tested him. He had thought she already trusted him, but he realized with a shot of mixed feeling, that that had not been the case. She had brought him before her friend, and now she would decide if she really did trust him, if she should. The Slytherin in him was fairly impressed by this maneuver, but the other part of him, the part that had been helping Ginny for years, was a bit hurt, which was utterly ridiculous. He had not wanted her to trust him, had even criticized her for her easy acceptance. This was good. It sounded hollow to his own ears.

Draco watched Lovegood with a critical eye, his heart rate increasing a bit. He was not nervous, not truly, but he was a bit anxious. What would happen if she said she did not trust him? What would Ginny do then? What would he do?

He needn't have worried. With one last sage nod, Luna stood up and smiled slightly. "I think it's fine," she turned the smile on Ginny and it grew, becoming more genuine. "He can be trusted not to harm you, me, or Neville." Ginny laughed and embraced the girl, which Draco noticed, Lovegood returned with an embrace of her own. He shifted slightly, watching them casually express their feelings. He certainly had never been raised to do that. The Lovegood girl broke away first and flashed Draco one last quick smile which he did not return. "Alright then," she gathered up her books and walked a couple of steps away, talking to Ginny as she did so, "You know when and where we are meeting next. I'll find a way to tell Neville." She fixed a pointed look on Ginny, some unspoken third direction passed between them as Draco watched. Ginny nodded and then waved goodbye.

Draco did not move a muscle until Lovegood was out of the library completely. Then he rounded on Weasley. "What the hell?"

Ginny eyed him with mirth. "I thought that you would be angry." She sounded like she was joking, but Draco did not miss the flash of fear that passed quickly through her eyes. It filled him with immediate guilt, and the memory of her red hair sprawled across the dungeon floor came unbidden to his mind. He shoved against it; he hadn't meant to hurt her that night, but regardless, Draco took another step back and smoothed his face as he leashed his anger.

She watched him and seemed relieved when he stepped back, though to her credit, she tried to hide that. She turned to the table and busied herself with gathering up her own books. "Luna asked if she could talk with you," she said nonchalantly, her face turned down so she was addressing the table. "She likes to be able to see people before she makes a decision, and honestly, I wanted to see what she thought for myself."

"Smart," Draco muttered. Ginny looked at him in surprise. "Well it is," he defended himself gruffly. "She's smarter than people believe, Lovegood." He looked toward the door where she had disappeared, his mind going back to everything he had thought about the Ravenclaw girl while she had been before him. "Smarter than she leads people to believe."

"I don't think she leads people to believe anything," Ginny said lightly. "She is the way she is; she just doesn't care if that leads people to think she isn't what she is."

Draco nearly snorted but repressed it. If Ginny Weasley didn't want to believe her friend was cunning, that was not his problem. But he would not underestimate the Lovegood girl. "So that was the point of this, then?" he gestured at the secluded library table, at the almost empty library. "You brought me here just so Lovegood could evaluate me?"

Ginny abruptly stopped what she was doing, and fixed her brown eyes on him. She was standing on the opposite side of the table now, leaning her hands on it as she leaned her body forward. The evaluating look Draco had just seen on Lovegood's face was now mirrored on Ginny's. "Luna asked," she replied, biting her lip. "But I had other reasons."

Draco was not surprised. It had felt too quick, this little meeting of Ginny's. For all that he had thought about her when he had gotten the note, Draco knew Ginny Weasley was not truly foolish, and she did not take unnecessary risks. That did not mean he was not apprehensive. "What then?"

She was hesitant. She always bit her lip when she thought whatever she had to say would sound stupid or was something he wouldn't want to hear. He had noticed the habit the first time she had confronted him. Along with her blushing, it appeared to be something she couldn't control. Draco bet that drove her mad. "Would you be willing to do something else," she breathed it out in a rush, not looking him in the eye. "For us, err, I mean me?" she winced a bit as she amended herself.

His immediate reaction was to say no. Of course he would not do anything else for her. He was risking his neck as it was. Extending his protection – if it could even be called that – to Longbottom and Lovegood had been generous enough for him, out of character even. He would never have promised it if he had not felt so guilty, if he had not tortured her. But Draco hesitated, looking at Ginny Weasley.

It had always been glaringly obvious to him that his notes would never truly redeem his family. Nothing could make up for his father putting Ginny in harm's way. If his father could be believed, she had nearly died. Saving her from repeated torture – that was closer to repaying this debt, and saving her friends would certainly make her grateful, but did it repay the debt? Draco could not answer that. What exactly would he need to do to make up for her nearly being killed? Was there even a deed that could make up for such a thing?

So he found himself asking, "What?" again, his tone clearly reluctant. The surprise on Ginny's face when she met his eyes almost made it worth it. She did look so innocent when she was surprised, so honest. Draco admired the way her emotions always showed so clearly on her face, a respite he had never been allowed, even in childhood.

"How much do you know about what the Carrows do?"

The question was not entirely unexpected. Draco was no fool. The only real value he had to the other side, the good side with their Order, was what he knew. He had just admitted Ginny was no fool. Of course she would seize this opportunity. He tried not to feel exploited. It was his fault for telling her the truth, for giving her something to exploit. "Depends on what you want to know?"

"Are they doing anything for Voldemort?"

"No," he snapped, rubbing a hand through his hair in irritation. "And even if they were, I would not tell you. Voldemort placed them here to oversee the school, any other orders he gives are no business of mine. Spying on Voldemort will get me killed, Weasley. Undoubtedly." Every person who had ever tried had ended up dead; every single one except… But Ginny did not know about him. "I already told you I would not die for this."

She was disappointed but not surprised. "What is Snape doing?" she asked instead. "He is the Headmaster, but we never see him. He spends all of his time locked up in the Headmaster's office."

Draco hesitated again. He truly had no idea what Professor Snape was doing with his days. It was true that the man hardly ventured from that room, but Draco suspected that had nothing to do with whether the man was busy or not. Snape was hated by every professor here. Surely, he didn't want to face that every day. "I don't know," he admitted at last. "And I have no way of finding out." Draco would not spy on Snape either, though his reasons differed on this one. He had no desire to be anywhere near his old professor.

Ginny, again, did not appear surprised. She simply nodded, taking in the information he was giving her, small though it was. "Would you," she stopped and glanced up at him through her eyelashes. The resulting look was so naïve, so ridiculously innocent, that it nearly knocked the breath from Draco. Had he ever even been that innocent? How had this girl managed to keep so much of herself from being touched by the retched events she experienced? How could she still look like that? He nearly missed her question, so flustered was he. But he heard.

"Would you tell me, if you heard anything?"

He snapped his eyes to hers, glaring. "I told you I would not be a spy."

She flinched. "No, I know. That's not what I was suggesting. I don't expect you to seek out any information, and I would never ask you to put yourself back in the thick of things." Her nose wrinkled at the thought. "Neville would never trust you, then, and honestly it would be hard for me as well." Her eyes darted to his left forearm, and then away, so quickly that Draco might have missed it. But he didn't. A sour taste invaded his mouth, and Draco fought the urge to cover his forearm. He never showed the mark, burned into his flesh. He had always been careful about that. But he knew Potter had told his friends. Apparently, Ginny had been one of those. She hurried on, no doubt seeing the expression on Draco's face. "Look, I just want to know if you would tell me if you did hear anything. I wouldn't tell anyone, not even Neville or Luna, where I got the information."

"And how is that not spying?" he returned, though his voice lacked conviction. He did see the difference. This was less of a risk, but still more risky than anything he had ever intended to do.

"I know," she flushed and looked down, avoiding his eyes. "I shouldn't have asked."

Maybe if she had never looked at his arm, maybe if he had never seen that brief flash of mistrust in her eyes, maybe if she had never said she was unsure about him – maybe then Draco would have stuck to his beliefs, to his plan. Maybe he would have said no. But she had done all of that, and Draco could not pretend she had not. "Fine."

"What?" her eyes were comically round, her mouth almost a perfect 'o.' "Seriously?"

Draco closed his eyes and berated himself, again. This was foolish. He only wanted to survive this year, and then, if the war was still not over, find some way to escape. He wanted to leave and change his name, pretend he had never existed. That had been his plan, and he should stick to it. But he couldn't. He just couldn't. "Yes," he said again. "If I hear anything about plans, about changes, I will tell you."

Ginny smiled radiantly at him, and that felt nice. It had been a long time since anybody had looked at Draco with such gratitude. But Draco pushed on, "But I don't know what you expect. I'm not kept informed. I have no idea if I'll ever hear anything."

She nodded quickly. "No that's fine." She was grinning, still, like a fool. "I wouldn't expect anything. It's just good to have that line open, just in case. It can't hurt, anyways."

Yes, Draco thought sourly. It can't hurt you. But the thought was not truly malicious. He could not hate her for this. Ginny only wanted to help, only wanted good to conquer evil. Really, she wanted what he wanted: for this war to end. She just cared more about the ending than Draco did, and he could not fault her for that. No, Draco could not fault her for being a good person.

Ginny was suddenly standing right in front of him, and Draco blinked at her in surprise. She had her books clutched tightly to her chest and a smile still on her face. She looked like a normal student then, like the war was not even real. "Thank you," she said it quietly, seriously even though she was smiling. "Thank you for this."

Draco could not respond. Had he ever been thanked for anything, truly? He couldn't recall. He was used to orders, and orders were expected to be followed. Voldemort had certainly never thanked him, nor Draco's father. Ginny smiled at him again and then left. He did nothing.

Draco stood in the library for some time after that, not moving. He missed more classes and did not care. If the teachers wanted to punish him, let them. It was the least of his worries now. He had agreed to give the other side information. Sure, it was just Ginny Weasley, and sure, he was not actively spying. But then, when had Voldemort ever cared about such details? Never. If he was found out, the Dark Lord would call him a traitor and no one would defend his actions.

Draco was a fool, an utter and complete fool. "Damn," he muttered crossly, squeezing his eyes shut and rubbing his temples. "Damn, damn, damn." He was a fool, but he was not backing out. He was a Malfoy, after all, and Malfoys kept their word.