A/N: Okay, here it is. As always if you think of any songs to put in past, current or future chapters let me know. I love the reviews I get so let me know what you think. Less babling this time. (At the top anyway)

So on with the next chapter...

Chapter 5

Beca couldn't let him and everyone find out like this. She had met him. He was one of the guys she had picked up in a bar. If he told Jesse like this, before they got a chance to talk he would think he was just another one of those guys. She had to stop him.

"This girl has quite the reputation." He shouted out to everyone around. It was clear he planned on telling everyone. Beca started to walk over to him. Unsure of what she planned to do just knowing that she had to make him stop. It was too late. Everyone was staring, waiting for him to continue.

"She actually comes with a warning in L.A. you know. Every few months she comes into the same bar, gets drunk and picks up a guy." He informed the room. She wanted to die. This wasn't how they were supposed to find out, how he was supposed to find out. She wasn't even sure if anyone was supposed to find out. Everyone turned to look at her. Some looked shocked, Stacie looked somewhat proud and others looked a little disgusted. But he didn't stop there.

"Then the next morning she kicks them out, never sees them again. I have to admit it's a shame, but been there, done that." Then he turned to Jesse, "So don't get your hopes up mate, 'cause she always sends you packing the same way, so I'll let you in on a little secret before she tells you herself. It's always the same line." Beca knew what was coming next. She braced herself. Whether Jesse understood or not it would be bad. If he did then he'd know how she felt, he'd be angry about how she acted, if he didn't he'd think she had just used him and again he'd be mad. It was lose-lose.

"There's someone else." Beca closed her eyes. Stacie, Fat Amy and Lily looked at her, they knew. Then they looked at Jesse. He seemed to have frozen. He looked at Beca. Oh he definitely had an idea. The guy laughed. "She played you man, at least now you can leave her first, about time she knows how it feels. I wonder what that guy would do if he knew. Hey I wonder if he even exists." The guy rambled on.

"Oh he knows Josh, he knows." Jesse said his voice cold. Beca flinched at the tone. Josh looked at him gone out. He was obviously confused.

"How do you..." Josh started. Yes Beca realised, she seemed to pick up a lot of guys whose names began with 'J' she wondered if someone was trying to tell her something.

"Why don't you tell us who this guy is Beca, I'm sure we're all dying to know." Jesse called out to her, his tone hard.

"Like you don't know," she looked at his face, he made no move to respond, "you're gonna make me say it?" she prayed he wouldn't. Now was not the time or place to let everyone know how she had spent the last 7 years pining for him and blowing off guys in a morning because they weren't him and she couldn't let it go and get over him. Still it didn't seem to matter to him. Some other Bellas had started to come in as had the Trebles; a clear space separating them. If she said this their already bad opinion of her would get even worse. If she didn't she may not get him back. She took a deep breath, "You. The guy was you. Is you." She said quietly, "Are you happy now? Yes, I admit it, in front of everyone, you're the reason I have spent the last 7 years pushing guys away. None of them were you." She said raising her voice as she got more worked up. There was silence following her outburst. Josh turned to Jesse and whistled.

"Good luck mate." He breathed as he patted Jesse on the back and walked over to the other Trebles. Beca had never been one to cry in public, she had never been one to cry at all but emotions were running high and she could feel them trying to take over. She turned around and headed back to the Bella house. She needed to be alone right now.

Benji watched her go. Jesse seemed unable to move staring after her. He didn't know what to do with that information and there was quite a lot of it. The Bellas turned to their group to discuss it as did the Trebles although they seemed more proud of Jesse for screwing up a Bella so much. Fat Amy, Stacie, Lily and the rest of the first year group just pasted looks around their circle as if contemplating what to do next. It seemed no one planned to go after her. Not for the first time Benji took it upon himself to do so. He rushed out the door after her.

He found her in the empty Bella house; she was curled up on the sofa in front of the blank TV. He was probably the only one that had seen her cry before. Still, it was just as hard to watch.

"Hey," he said softly as he approached her. It was familiar. He slid down on the sofa beside her and put an arm around her. It had become normal for him to do this during their time at Barden. He had become one of her best friends. The only one that dealt with her when she was really upset, not angry but upset. The only one she allowed to see her cry. She knew he never once told Jesse, even though Jesse was his best friend and most of the tears were related to him. Although he was a Treble she still managed to remain friends with Benji. The others didn't know exactly; only that he would come to see her if something big had happened. They generally assumed he was a messenger. They both played into this idea; it was easier.

"Are you okay?" he asked knowing full well she wasn't.

"I will be, I just need a minute. Funny how easy it is just to slip back into the past. I've tried so hard not to with everything else but this is the one thing that seemed to be okay back then." It was easy to talk to him. He was almost like a brother to her and she a sister to him. He never truly fitted in with the Trebles but that wasn't a bad thing. In fact it was probably a good thing. She could tell him things she couldn't tell the Bellas, because it would make her seem weak, it would seem hypocrital for her to be crying over a Treble when she had been the one to insist that they were so bad. Although letting Benji in did seem so anyway. She dried her tears. "It's just not how I wanted breakfast to go, and now it may be too late to fix everything."

"Maybe you don't try to fix everything. Maybe you just try to fix one thing at a time. Let the rest come when it's ready." Benji suggested. He always gave her good advice.

"You know what? You're right. One step at a time. I know I never said this but I'm sorry about Jane. You two were perfect together and I ruined it all."

"It's okay. I understand. You were going through a lot."

"It's no excuse; I never should have pulled everyone else in. I will make it up to you, I promise. Starting now. I'm going to go find her. I know you two still like each other I saw you looking at each other last night. I know you're both still single."

"Beca you don't have..." Benji started but she cut him off.

"Yes I do. I want to, but first. You need to go. If they find you in here your dead, or worse." He looked at her for a moment and considered her words before nodding and getting up, she was right. As he turned to leave and started to walk away she called back to him.

"And hey Benji. Thank you. After all this time you still came." She shouted to him as he turned around to face her.

"No problem." He said as he smiled and turned back and left.

She began to think back to when it really started to change as she went in search of Jane. She had to be in the Bella house somewhere as she wasn't in the other house.

Second Year at Barden

It had been after the Charity event that Beca had noticed that Benji and Jane liked each other. She also knew that while they were perfect for each other, neither would ever approach the other. She talked to Jesse about this and he had agreed. Working together they had successfully managed to set them up together. Jane adored Benji's magic tricks and Benji adored watching Jane watching his magic tricks and naturally they both adored each other. They were truly perfect together. Beca however, while happy for them, was slightly bothered by how perfect they were. From the moment they held their first real conversation they became a couple. They were completely open and honest with each other. They supported each other entirely, even though they were on opposing teams. Everything was so easy for them. As much as she hated it, it made Beca doubt her own relationship. She started to think that perhaps it wasn't supposed to be so hard, that maybe it wasn't right if you had to work at it. Still she had never felt so strongly about anyone as she had about Jesse and she wasn't about to give that up. Instead she pushed the doubt away, holding it to herself. Not letting anyone else know. Letting it fester.

For a couple of months after the Charity event everything went smoothly for Jesse and Beca. They were able to joke about how the Bellas had no chance of winning without Chloe, which was a fear she had combated and beaten at regionals, and her 'affair' with Luke, which always got a funny reaction from Jesse, although she later assured him there was nothing going on and there never would be. She got a regular time slot on the radio station. Her relationship with her dad was improving and she actually learned to tolerate her step-mother's presence. Life was going well for her in general.

As the last month before the Semi-finals started however things started to get stressed. Beca began to feel the pressure of being a leader. Some of the girls weren't working as hard and she was beginning to worry they wouldn't be ready. She began to call for more practices. Her time slot at the radio station was lengthened and while it was what she wanted it was still time consuming. On top of that her grades were beginning to suffer and her father was pressuring her to keep them up, him being a professor at the university not making it any easier. All the while with everything else her ever present doubts were there and as time went on and she started to feel her busy schedule drain her, they began to take hold. The attention Jesse was getting was not helping her and he was enjoying it a little too much, not that anything came from it but he was a guy after all, and she on occasion caught herself wondering if she was enough, if she was what he wanted. She knew logically that she was being ridiculous and that if she told him this he would assure her that she was the only one he ever wanted. Still, these were the irrational doubt that no amount of logic and rational thought can combat and overcome and as long as she kept them in they could only grow. Even knowing this she couldn't tell him. Or anyone. Once again she found him confronting her for pushing him away. She hadn't even realised she had been doing it, she must have been doing it subconsciously. They were in a strange place the week of the semi-finals. Neither fighting nor getting on. Neither had budged in their 'demands' of each other but they weren't broken up, that they agreed on. On the bus ride over to the semi-finals they had sat next to each other but had not spoken. Jane and Benji had been too preoccupied with each other to notice as had some of the other couples. Fat Amy, Lily and Jessica along with some of the Trebles had noticed however and decided it best not to say anything after all, what could they say? Their relationship was tense and neither groups wanted them to fight right before a performance.

The Trebles were up first. That was perhaps the death sentence for the Bellas in the semi finals. The Bellas watched from the crowd as usual. From the moment they heard the opening bars of the song it all came crashing down for the Bellas. No one knew how but they had somehow picked the same song. The Bellas gathered together to desperately salvage a performance. In that moment Beca cursed Jesse's voice for being so distracting to her while she desperately tried to pick something to sing instead. It was a complete coincidence but if felt very much like a plan. An idea that just maybe it had been a set up was planted in Beca's mind and some of the other Bellas too. The Trebles and Bellas were quite close now, it would be all too easy for one of them to secretly steal their song and use it instead. It seemed ridiculous but of all the songs in the world how had they picked the same one? Despite this they still managed to pick another song. Beca saw the Trebles' performance out of the corner of her eye, Jesse as usual singing and pointing to her regardless of their current relationship problems, they were good. Even in their current predicament she had to smile at him. Once they had finished everyone cheered them. They were still many people's favourites. Some of the Bellas also clapped and cheered but many were a little bitter about the song situation, no, a lot bitter about it. The Bellas went up and sang their replacement song. It wasn't as good; the judges knew it and while the Trebles didn't know why, they realised that was not the original song they had intended to sing. The results were predictable, the Treblemakers won. The Bellas were lucky; they just managed to scrape into second place. At least they still had a shot at the finals.

Beca knew that had been the end really. She and Jesse never got the chance to recover before she got in the way.

Beca found Jane in her room. Knocking on the open door she walked in, Jane was sat at her desk obviously working.

"Hey, long time no see." Beca started as she approached Jane. Jane jumped at the sound of her voice before turning around to face Beca.

"Oh, it's just you. Hi Beca" Jane said softly. Beca had really hurt Jane with the oath. Still she had never been hostile towards Beca or openly blamed Beca for it. She was far too nice for that.

"I know I'm probably one of the last people you want to see here."

"I have nothing against you Beca." She said again in her naturally soft voice. She sounded as open and honest as always.

"That doesn't mean I didn't do something wrong or hurt you, I know I did."

"I can't deny that but I never blamed you, I understood why you did it, most people would have done it in your position"

"Not you. We both know you would have put aside you personal problems."

"Okay, but I'm a special case" agreed Jane with a slightly teasing smile, her tone quite playful.

"I'm sorry for whatever it's worth. I know it's not much now after all this time."

"It means a lot Beca, thank you, but like I said I don't blame you. You shouldn't feel guilty about what happened to me."

"Maybe, but I do feel I need to make it right. I may have no right but I want to talk to you about Benji."

"I don't know Beca it was a long time ago. I don't think we should talk about this" she said suddenly sounding nervous.

"You have every right to say that, but I own it to you both to try. I'm the reason you broke up, and I know neither of you have moved on so don't give me that" Beca countered becoming more confident as she finished. She had been walking on egg shells to start with a little.

"I doubt that's true, I'm sure he's doing just fine and I have moved on." She started obviously believing her words however untrue they were.

"I saw the way you two looked at each other last night and I know for a fact that he's not over you. He would jump at a chance to be with you again. I know what it's like to love someone and be apart from them for years. Hoping for a second chance. It might be too late for me, maybe too much happened in those last three years, but it's not for you."

"You still love Jesse." It was a statement not a question. "I guess you're right. We owe it to ourselves to try."

"Good, Benji is waiting in 'No-man's land', I seriously can't believe they're calling the house that, go to him. I know he's waiting for you. I think we missed the briefing for the week. I heard the University has these joint activities planned for us."

"Okay, are you coming?"

"I think I'll wait a bit. I made quite the exit, besides, I have to fix things with my dad. I can't believe how late everyone got up today. I better get ready for dinner with my dad. I have to meet him at six. Fill me in on what I missed?" She answered.

"Yeah. Okay. Good luck with your dad."

"Thanks, you too, good luck with Benji, not that you'll need it. Oh and beware of the vicious Bellas and Trebles, you might want to talk somewhere private."

"Thanks for the advice." With that Jane waved and headed for the other house.

Beca shook her head. Those two were great together but totally clueless as how to get together. She headed back to her room to get ready for dinner. She really needed to sort things out with her dad. The talk with Jesse had not gone as she had planned. In fact it hadn't gone at all. She still needed to talk to him but he probably needed time to digest what she had said. Still she had a week, and another week after that if she needed it. Luckily someone had checked her out of her hotel and fetched her clothes and deposited them in her room at the Bella house. She figured the university was making sure there was no way for anyone to: get out of it, not join in or leave.

Soon Beca was waiting outside the Bella house for her father to pick her up. A car pulled up and her dad rolled down the window and waved. 'Great, he's still mad. Well I guess that's what dinner is about; getting him to forgive me.' She thought to herself.

"Hi dad" she called as she waved and headed for the car, climbing in the other side. He gave a slight smile. 'Well that's progress.'

The drive to the restaurant was mostly done in silence apart from when Beca made the occasional comment on the scenery, her father seldom responded. They were sat at a table at their favourite restaurant, they had found it and it had become her favourite during her time at Barden, before her father really spoke to her.

"So Beca, what did you want to talk about?" He asked, his tone resigned showing he was fed up with her constant pushing away.

"I wanted to apologise for how I acted before and for just ignoring you for the last 7 years. I should have kept in touch. And I shouldn't have snapped at you when I arrived, I was just really nervous about everything and I didn't know how to deal with it all. That's not me anymore. I've changed. I've learned to step back and calm down first but I got here and it suddenly felt like I was back in college all over again, I reverted back. I'm sorry dad. I mean it, I should never have said and acted the way I did." She apologised, she was getting good at giving these speeches.

"I wasn't expecting that Beca. All you had to say was sorry. I'm your father, I would have forgiven you right away."

"I know, but I just couldn't think straight, I was so scared to see Jesse and then I did and I managed to mess it all up again already." She began to mumble a little as she got to the end.

"I'm sure that's not true Beca, I know how much you loved him back then, and looking at you face now I'm guessing that hasn't changed. It can't be that bad."

"Maybe even more but you don't know what I did. I blew it."

"So you're just going to give up?"

"No. I don't do that anymore. I have to keep trying, I'll never forgive myself if I don't, besides I think it's pretty obvious that after 7 years I'm not gonna move on."

"You really have changed Beca, I'm proud of you, so what are you going to do?"

"Well, like Benji said: take one step at a time. Start with the easier bits. I already started. I guess today hasn't been a total disaster really."

"So what went right today?"

"I think I may have got Jane and Benji back together, I guess Jesse now knows more of the truth, about my life in L.A. anyway, so it's one less thing I have to tell him, he's really mad I think, but he was always going to find out I guess. I just wish it didn't have to be like that. And I apologised to you. Oh and I almost forgot, I punched her last night." She said going from proud to resigned then back to proud at the end.

"Beca!" Her father scolded.

"Look, she asked for it, she was all over him, again, and lied about being his girlfriend."

"Was this before or after you found out she was lying?" She asked in a half scolding-half amused tone.

"After," she mumbled, "but it was way over due, I should have punched her the first time." She was getting more indignant.

"Well, I can't really deny that one, can I?" He smiled. Beca smiled back, glad she was back on good terms with her dad.

The rest of the dinner went smoothly as she filled in her dad on what had happened in the last 7 years in L.A. and he told about his life and Barden. By the end of the evening when he dropped her off at the Bella house she was feeling much happier. Her father had even given her some suggestions about how to fix things. She had already dismissed most of them but it was the thought that counted. As she lay on her bed that night she fell straight to sleep exhausted but with a plan of how to start to fix her mistakes. Tomorrow she would find out what the itinerary for the week was, then she could start to put her plan of attack in motion.

Okay (I say that a lot), I hope you enjoyed it. I kind of liked the idea of Beca and Benji being friends, the way he ran after her after the semi-finals and how she looked even happier when she realised Jesse had got him in the Trebles like he always wanted. It is purely platonic for anyone one was worrying (if anyone was worrying), he is obviously very much taken. He was pretty much the perfect example of an innocent casualty of war who like Beca was separated from the one he loved for 9 years as was Jane. She really is just that nice, she has no ulterior motives. I guess we know one more person who isn't the mysterious she. If anyone can guess who she is let me know. I love to know what people are thinking. We finally made it through the day, it only took us three chapters. I think Beca made progress. It may have seemed a bit quick but something had to go her way. Anyway,(I'm babbling again as I said I might at the bottom) let me know what you think. The song thing still applies as always. Next chapter flashbacks start to get messy, things really start to fall apart. Hope you enjoyed it, let me know (I'm repeating myself) See you in the next chapter.