Ch. 21

Laurie kept looking up to see if Rorschach was still there -- he was. She could hear the television in the living room, but other than that, the house was practically silent. She couldn't even hear Rorschach shift in his seat. Once in a while she would turn and smile at him, and she couldn't tell if he was smiling back or even registering her own gesture because he wasn't moving. For an instant she wondered if he was asleep and started to laugh at the idea.

"What?" he asked her.

"Oh, nothing."

"Hrm," he said. He didn't pry like he usually did, and she wondered if he was all right. He didn't seem to be himself back at the Crimebusters meeting.

She hadn't felt like herself, either. She still didn't feel like herself. She turned to pull something out of the cabinet while trying to discreetly watch Rorschach at the same time. He was still sitting at the table with his hands out in front of him, posture straight in his chair.

It took a while to prepare dinner; distracted as Laurie was, she kept forgetting to add things and which drawers kept certain utensils. Half an hour had gone by before she turned and set a plate in front of Rorschach and another on the table for herself.

"Here, dig in," she told him. Then she remembered Blake and went into the living room. He was still reading the paper.

Laurie opened her mouth, then she realized she hadn't had the opportunity to address him before. She didn't know what to call him -- Edward? Eddie? Blake? Comedian? Dad?

"Uh, Dad?" said Laurie, bracing herself nervously.

"Mm?" said Blake, pleasantly, as if she had called him that a hundred times before.

"Have you eaten dinner?"

"Mm-hmm," he said. For a moment she wondered if he had actually heard her or if he was just too busy reading.

"Okay." Laurie smiled.

Laurie came back to the kitchen to find Rorschach waiting for her.

"Please, eat," she told him, sitting down. She watched him for a moment before she started eating. She chided herself for not having dinner earlier, before she had left the house. She should know better by now.

Laurie saw Rorschach finally move his hand towards the fork next to his plate, and for a second she had a flashback of an image she had come up with, the one of Rorschach eating through his mask. She was almost surprised when he put his hands to his face and pulled up his mask a little. Not all the way, just until it hung snugly over the tip of his nose so only his mouth was exposed. Laurie's eyes widened as she looked at him and he paused as if to regard her so she continued to eat, embarrassed. He started to eat as well, and Laurie almost shook her head at how unbelievable this all seemed.

"I hope you like it," she told him. He paused for a moment before nodding. She felt her eyes drawn to his mouth; now that it was visible it was pretty much the focal point. She also realized that with the mask drawn up part of his throat was exposed.

Rorschach would stop and look at her, and she would look down again and continue to eat. A few moments later she would look up at him and the cycle continued until they were finished eating. Laurie got up to clear the table, approaching Rorschach to collect his plate. He drew away quickly and pulled down his mask as she came closer.

"I wasn't going to try anything," she told him, a little offended.

Rorschach nodded and seemed apologetic. He watched her as she washed their plates and forks. Done, Laurie turned around.

"Come on," she told him. She meant to show him around the house, but when they went into the living room, she realized Blake had gone to bed. She turned to Rorschach and smiled, gesturing towards the couch as she fiddled with the television set.

The news was pretty much the only thing on at this hour, and two debaters were tersely discussing increased U.S. involvement in the Vietnam war. Laurie watched the men argue while she let her mind wander. She thought of her mother, and felt guilty as she usually did. She briefly wondered if she should call her soon, just to let her know she was all right. Laurie's mind went to the subject at hand. Thinking of this far away country with American troops, Laurie remembered her father's plan of chasing Moloch through foreign lands. She frowned and worried for him. She knew he could take care of himself, but she didn't like the idea of him leaving. Especially not after they had started to build a relationship.

Laurie glanced over at Rorschach, and he tilted his head to look at her when she did. They regarded each other for a moment, television personalities still chattering in the background. Laurie inched closer to him, stopping after each small movement to see if he would show resistance. She looked at him nervously before placing her head on his shoulder. She was pleasantly surprised when he allowed himself to put his arm around her. She placed her own arm around his torso and left it there. They didn't say a word as they watched the television. Safe and content, she felt her eyelids grow heavier. As she drifted off to sleep, she barely felt Rorschach's head falling gently into place on top of hers.

Laurie woke up to a strange sense of deja vu. Then she remembered that she had fallen asleep on Blake's couch again. She thought she felt someone stroking her hair, but when she sat up, she saw Rorschach looking as he had the night before. She couldn't even tell if he was awake through the mask, though she was pretty sure he was.

"Wow," said Laurie, looking around at the bright room, lit up from the morning sun. "I can't believe we fell asleep like that."

Rorschach nodded to her. She saw him stretch his shoulders and back a little. Laurie got up and turned the television set back off before sitting down again. She smiled at Rorschach before settling back into her earlier position next to him. He seemed tense now, but he held her nonetheless. They must have stayed like that for an hour, and Laurie didn't mind if they were like that forever. Hand still on his ribcage, she started to play with the fabric of his jacket, lazily moving her fingers up his chest. He reached out and grabbed her hand as if to stop her, but he didn't let go. Laurie paused for a moment before turning the angle of her head so that she was now almost face to face with him. She narrowed her eyes to study his mask, hoping that somehow through the pattern she would see some semblance of a human face. She didn't.

Laurie reached out with her remaining hand and paused near Rorschach's head to see his reaction, but he sat there, frozen -- no complaints. She ran her fingertips down the side of his mask to trace a jawline. She eased one finger down his chin and found the edge of the mask and slowly eased up. He still didn't stop her. She pulled the mask up as he had previously done at the dinner table and didn't go further than that. She looked at where his eyes could be, then at his mouth. He was sitting still as if he was observing her to see what she would do next. She leaned in and kissed him.

Laurie, in her hurry, had missed her mark and had actually ended up kissing his lower lip before drawing back to look at him with her eyes open wide. She could feel her heart racing as she waited to see if he would react. She felt as if she was going to faint when he put his hands on the sides of her face and kissed her in return. It was a chaste kiss that lingered as if he wanted to draw it out into something else. After he pulled away, she kissed his jaw. He made a sharp intake when she kissed his throat. He grabbed her arm as if in protest, so she stopped. Her hands were on his chest and she could feel his quickened pulse under her palm. He opened his mouth as if to say something, perhaps kiss her again, but instead he drew up his hands and pulled down his mask, securing it under his scarf once more. Laurie drew away and looked at her hands, which were now in her lap. She suddenly felt guilty.

"Wow," she said, not looking at him. "I don't even know your name."

She felt Rorschach stir on the couch next to her and she looked up. It didn't look like he had moved at all, on second glance. He looked away and she studied his masked profile for the long pause before he finally stood up.

"I'm sorry," he said, and it sounded like he meant it. "Should go now."

Laurie nodded, unable to help the tears that came to her eyes as she watched him leave. He turned and regarded her for a moment when he reached the doorway and she forced herself to smile at him. Blake walked in, saw her, and started to speak, then he turned his head as Rorschach opened the door. He watched as Rorschach left, closing the door behind him. Then he turned to Laurie again.

"What's going on -- you two break up again?" Blake asked her. He seemed more serious than joking, however.

"Oh, I don't know," said Laurie, putting her face in her hands. "I did something stupid."

"What?" Blake sounded calm, but it looked like his eyes were going to fall out of his head.

"I kissed him," Laurie laughed, embarrassed that she was telling him. "I can't believe I did that -- I don't even know what he looks like underneath the mask or who he is."

Blake put his hand to his face, and Laurie wondered if he was angry or upset, but when he finally took his hand away, he actually looked relieved. Laurie suspiciously wondered if he had just been laughing at her.

"So, what, then he high-tailed it out of here?" he asked.

"Well, pretty much... I mean, I thought he was fine with the...the kissing, but I don't know -- he just got really uncomfortable."

Blake nodded solemnly. Then he looked at the clock, then at her.

"Did he spend the night here?" he asked, almost casually.

"We just fell asleep," said Laurie, feeling her face grow hot. "We didn't do anything..."

"Well yeah," he said, as if that was the most obvious thing on the planet.

"I just feel really dumb now, Dad," she said. Blake gave her an odd look -- didn't he remember when she called him that yesterday? Laurie shook her head. "I thought he liked me -- I wanted to show him that I did too, that's all."

Blake looked away. When he looked back, he appeared uncomfortable.

"You know, uh, Laurie," he said, scratching his head. "Maybe you shouldn't show him anything until he shows you something first."

Laurie stared at him.

"Not like that," he laughed. "I mean, he's getting pretty hot pants going around collecting balls in his court that you keep throwing at him. He should throw something back for once."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, make a fella work for something and he'll be much more appreciative of it."

Laurie stared at him again, and Blake looked agitated. He started to pace.

"Don't give him anything," he told her, finally. "Make him give you everything first. He needs to learn to get moving instead of making you do all the work."

"I don't think he would do anything if I just left it as it was," Laurie laughed, bitterly.

"Then that's his loss," he said. He looked quite pained as he looked straight into Laurie's eyes. "He can feel like the asshole later for not making a move while he had a chance. Or making the wrong one. Meanwhile, you'll be safe."

Laurie briefly wondered what he meant by 'safe', but she understood his sentiment and smiled.

"Thanks," she told him.

"Now, how about some eggs?" said her father, rubbing his hands together. Laurie laughed.

Blake made his eggs while Laurie watched him thoughtfully.

"Are you going to look for Moloch soon?" she asked him.

Blake paused, facing her now, though his eyes were to the side in a contemplative gesture.

"No, forget it," he said, smiling a little. "It's all right -- I think I'm better off here anyway. He can go to hell."

Laurie felt relieved, and wondered how much of a part she played in his decision to stay. They ate in silence, then after breakfast Blake walked out to get the paper and sat on the couch to read as he had done the night before. Laurie looked out the window for a long while, thinking about Rorschach. It hurt a little now to think about him, actually. She leaned forward and rested her chin on her folded arms, feeling glum. She wondered if it would be really awkward working with him that night, and she couldn't bear to think of it.

Laurie got up and went into the living room to peer over her dad's shoulder.

"Hey, there's a shadow here where I need light to read," he said, pointing at the paper, but he looked up and smiled at her.

"We should do something," she told him. "Go somewhere, and forget about crime fighting."

"We must be doing hell of a something if it takes all day and goes into the night," he said, though he was positioning himself as if to get up.

"Are we going?" she asked him, excited.

Blake got up and tossed the newspaper down on the couch.

"Yeah," he said, grinning. "Though I'm still not sure what this something is."

"Yes!" said Laurie, practically dancing around him. She was elated. Blake laughed.

"All right, go get dressed," he told her.

Laurie looked down, surprised. She had somehow fallen asleep in her costume again. She shrugged and ran to her room, looking forward to the day. She would forget about everything for now and see how she felt about her situation later.

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To be continued...

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Author's Note: I would like to thank Vaudeville for the couch idea, as well as the Blake dynamics... I was in a real bend trying to write this chapter, and she really helped me pull things along again. Also a quick thanks to my roommate, who encourages me with Walter and Laurie anecdotes.