Ch. 23
"They call him Agent Orange. Can you believe this shit?" asked Blake, holding up the newspaper as if it was dirty.
Laurie raised an eyebrow at her father. He shook his head.
"Sorry," he laughed. "But seriously. Agent Orange?"
Laurie obediently read the script before her as he handed her the paper. Murders, orange smiles, media calls him Agent Orange. Just like the Vietnam war everyone was obsessed over these days. Laurie didn't care.
She hadn't seen Rorschach in over a week, and she was starting to feel quite angry with him. At first when he hadn't turned up, she thought he would come around within a few days or so, but now that it had been a while and she had more time to think about it, she couldn't help but feel her anger rise in degree. In fact, the more she thought about it, the angrier she became.
"Don't know why I read this shit anymore, sorry -- don't know why I read it because it's full of garbage," muttered Blake, getting up and paying the check. He and Laurie had gone to a cafe to have lunch. It was such a nice day, and Laurie was in too bad of a mood to enjoy it. She walked in silence with her father for a few blocks before he sighed.
"All right kid, what's the issue?" he asked, smiling.
"I dunno."
"Come on -- I see storm clouds coming and the sun's still out so I know it can't be the weather."
Laurie couldn't help but smile at that.
"I haven't seen Rorschach in over a week," she said, folding her arms. "I can't believe he hasn't visited or anything."
"Well, you haven't been out at night lately, have you?"
"No."
"Wish I could tell you I've seen him, but as you know, I haven't been out that much myself."
Laurie nodded. The two of them had been "lazing it up and getting fat and content", as Blake had put it so nicely a few days ago.
"I don't know, Dad -- don't you think it's kind of rude that after all that... happened, he can't even stop by to say hello? I mean, sure, I'd like an apology or to talk about what went on, but if I can't have that, I'd much rather he would at the least check on me. We were, first and foremost, supposed to be friends, after all."
Blake nodded and had a neutral expression. He kept his eyes ahead of them, but he seemed to be listening.
"How can you know someone for over two years and not show the common decency to come knocking at the door for a quick hello?"
Blake scratched his head and nodded again.
"You know what he said when I told him I still didn't even know his name? After he kissed me? He said, "I'm sorry", and left, just like that -- like we couldn't be bothered with this hanging over us. I thought we were better than that."
"Yeah," said Blake, nodding once more. "So, how come you haven't gone out either? You know, find him?"
"I don't know," sighed Laurie. "At first I thought it would be too awkward to go out and act like nothing happened, but then things got worse the more time went by. Now I'm mad and I don't know if I want to talk to him."
Blake smiled briefly, and looked like he was about to say something, but then his face darkened.
"Shit," he muttered. "Hell."
Laurie looked up at her father, confused, before she followed his eyes and felt the world shrink away from her. Up ahead in their path on the sidewalk was Sally, looking angry and folding her arms, waiting for them to catch up to where she was standing. Laurie and her father had stopped dead in their tracks, however, and Sally ended up having to storm the gap between them.
"I didn't think it was true," said Sally, shaking her head. "Nelly said he had seen you two walking around town, but I couldn't believe it. I had to see it for myself."
"Uh, hi Mom," said Laurie, feeling frightened. Her mother looked better than she had since the last time they had spoken, but she was also looking like she was being guided by hell fire.
"Laurie, you stay out of this," said Sally, as if Laurie had been attempting to intervene, somehow. "Edward Blake, do you know what I've been hearing? I've been hearing that the Comedian has taken a liking to my daughter because he hadn't been able to get to me when I was younger."
"Sally," said Blake, voice going even deeper than usual. "Don't tell me this is what I think I'm hearing."
"It's exactly what you think it is, Edward," she hissed, "And you know it more than anyone because it's true."
"Are you kidding me?" Blake was starting to look angry now. "What kind of sick place do you think I come from, Sally, insinuating that?"
"Oh, I know what kind of things you're capable of," she said. "You may have forgotten, but I haven't; neither have Hollis and the others."
"I thought we were past that already -- why are you bringing this up now?"
"Because I don't want you hurting Laurie any more than you already have."
"Excuse me?" Blake's voice was starting to rise and he looked like he was going to strangle her. "I wasn't the one who threw her out into the street, Sally -- you think in your twisted mind that I'm bad for her? What would she do out there with the real freaks?"
"Real...?" Sally looked incredulous. "You really don't see yourself, do you? Truly see yourself?"
"Sal--"
"No, you think you make your own rules, do whatever suits you as long as you're happy, right?"
"N--"
"You wouldn't believe how humiliated I was, hearing about my daughter with you, Eddie, it's so shameful."
"And I'm sure you played the saint while you forgot to mention to these people that I'm her fucking father, correct? Or did you just let Laurence back in to say your shit for you?"
"You keep Laurence out of this -- that life is over and you know it."
"I don't know, Sally, you seem kinda keen about digging up the past."
"You want to talk about the past? Why don't you tell your daughter what you're really capable of?"
"Sally," said Blake, giving her a look of warning. "Don't."
"You didn't tell her? Of course you didn't. Not too convenient for you, is it, if you tell her the truth for once."
"I don't think that's necessary." Blake almost looked pale now. His anger seemed to have drained away, and he seemed faint.
"Oh yes it is," Sally finally turned to Laurie. "Tell your daughter. Right now. Tell her what you did to me."
"Mom, I don't really want to hear it," Laurie protested; she didn't like how Blake was looking. "Especially if he doesn't want to say."
"Fine," said Sally. "I'll say it for you, if you can't be a man and own up to the fact that you tried to rape me."
"What?" Laurie thought for sure she had heard that wrong.
"A long time ago, in a far away land," said Sally, sarcastically, "Your father brutally assaulted me, Laurie. He would have finished it had Hooded Justice not been there to intervene."
"Why are you telling me this?" Laurie asked, feeling sick.
"It's for your own good," said her mother. "You deserve to know, Laurie."
"So I'll go back to living with you, Mom?"
Sally looked surprised.
"But don't you want--"
"I don't know what I want, Mother," said Laurie, getting angry. "But I know I didn't want to hear things like that. I can't believe you would tell me this."
"It's the truth," said her mother, avoiding her eyes. Laurie looked at Blake, who no longer seemed to be present. His eyes were blank.
"Is that how I was born?" asked Laurie, feeling her stomach lurch at the thought.
Laurie had still been looking at Blake, whose own eyes flickered as they looked into hers. His head only moved slightly, but he was shaking his head at her. Her mother took longer to respond.
"No," said Sally, finally.
"So this happened after I was born?"
"No."
"Then why am I here?"
"It's complicated, Laurie."
"Exactly. It's complicated. It's not cut and dry like you were trying to present it to me, Mother."
"It's still the truth, Laurie."
"And he's my father -- that's the truth too."
"Darling, come home, please."
"I already have a home," said Laurie. She looked at Blake, but he wasn't saying anything.
"Laurie, if you go back with him--"
"Then what? You won't talk to me again?" Laurie shouted. "You'll get drunk and throw a tantrum until I make you do what you want me to do?"
"Laurie--"
"No, Mother, I'm sick of this. You need help, and I don't want to be dragged around in this mess. It's not fair to make me have to choose between you two."
Laurie looked down, vision swimming in front of her because of her tears. Sally and Blake were silent.
"I wish," said Laurie, finally, "that I could have both parents and be normal. No fighting -- something happy and nice, like a real family."
Sally had tears in her eyes now.
"Oh, Laurie," she said, reaching out as if to hold her.
"I'm going for a walk," Laurie told them. "I'm... I'm just..."
Laurie turned and left. She heard her mother call her name, but she didn't look back. She just wanted to get away. Bitterly she thought how much like Rorschach she was, running away from her problems. But this was too much. She wasn't sure where she was going exactly, but after a while she realized what she was doing. Determined now that she knew, she knocked on Hollis Mason's door with purpose.
Hollis opened the door a few moments later. The smile on his face widened when he saw Laurie.
"Laurie," he said, in a voice full of good cheer. "What a surprise. Why don't you come in?"
Laurie practically shoved past him to go inside. Then she saw Dan and flipped.
"Why are you here?" she asked him, fiercely.
"Uh," said Dan, looking bewildered.
"You're everywhere I turn, here and there, everywhere -- I just can't get rid of you! I can't believe it!" Laurie shouted.
"I'm sorry," said Dan, as he adjusted his glasses.
"Stop apologizing! Do something useful for once instead of just saying sorry for all the things you fail at!"
Dan and Laurie stared at each other. They looked up and saw Hollis standing in the doorway with his mouth open.
"God, I'm sorry," sighed Laurie, putting her face in her hands. "I just want to talk to Hollis -- alone."
"Ah, okay," said Dan, scrambling to get up. "I'll leave."
"Fair enough," said Hollis, not taking his eyes off of Laurie. "I'll see you later, my boy."
"Bye Hollis."
The door closed behind them and the room went silent as Hollis waited for Laurie to explain herself. Now she felt ashamed for her behavior but Dan was already gone.
"Hollis," Laurie said, finally, "what do you know about the Comedian's attempted rape on my mother?"
Hollis swallowed hard, looking a little uncomfortable.
"Wow, Laurie," he said, raking a hand through his hair. "You finally read my book, huh?"
"It's in your book?"
"Well, yes...wait, did Sally tell you?"
"Yes." Laurie folded her arms.
"Shouldn't this be something Sally should be explaining to you then, not me?"
"It was very one-sided on her part."
"Laurie," said Hollis, looking shocked. "I can't imagine how it could be any other way, considering what had been done to her."
Laurie felt awful, that disgusting feeling rising up to her throat and for a moment she wondered if she was going to be sick all over Hollis' living room rug.
"I just want to understand," said Laurie, trying not to cry. "I want to know how and why it happened."
Hollis looked thoughtful and a little worried.
"Well Laurie, I don't know what to tell you," he said finally, palms spread out to her. "I wasn't there."
"But you wrote about it, didn't you? You're friends with my mother; didn't she tell you?"
"We never really talked about it. It was the sort of thing -- well, Laurence, your father--"
"He's not my father," Laurie told him coldly.
Hollis seemed about to protest, but then he took a closer look at her and nodded.
"All right," he said, in that calm tone of voice he used. "Back then we worried about our image. Anything like that getting out would be bad PR, according to Laurence. We just sweeped it under the rug, much like we did with many other... issues we had with each other."
"And my mother? Did she ever talk to m...the Comedian again?"
"Why no," said Hollis, blinking. "Why would she?"
"Why indeed," said Laurie. She felt angry again and this time she wasn't entirely sure why. But she knew she got what she wanted. "Thank you, Hollis."
"Oh, you're welcome, Laurie," said Hollis. "You all right? W--"
"I'm okay." Laurie smiled. "I'll visit later, I promise. And I won't be so fierce with Dan next time."
Hollis laughed a little, though he showed sadness through his eyes.
"All right then," he said. "You take care of yourself."
Laurie left, feeling a little crazy. She thought it was too bad that she didn't know where Rorschach lived, because she would storm his place too, and give him a piece of her mind. Of course, not knowing where he lived was a big part of why she was giving him her mind to begin with. Laurie made her way back into town and passing by the dress shop she looked inside. She glared at the owner, who gave her a reproachful glance as he moved away from the window. She didn't see Walter. She boldly walked in and up to the owner, whose name she didn't recall.
"Where's Walter?" she asked him in a demanding tone that seemed to surprise the older man.
"Err -- I think he went to pick up supplies," he told her. "Rebecca?"
A woman turned to regard Laurie then the man who was presumably her boss.
"Yes, Mr. Greer?"
Oh right, Mr. Greer. How could she forget? Laurie had thought of the words "Green Leer" to help her remember. It was coming back to her now.
"Where's Walter? This young lady is looking for him."
"Really?" Rebecca peered at Laurie with interest. "I think he's down in the fabric district picking up our supply orders."
Laurie pulled out a piece of paper and started to write as Mr. Greer watched her.
"There you have it," said Mr. Greer. "Say, aren't you Sally's girl? I haven't seen you in a while. You're looking quite pretty aren't you?"
"Thank you," said Laurie. "Could you please give this to Walter?"
She held up the piece of paper on which she had written her name and number. Mr. Greer eyed it, then looked at Rebecca, who took it quickly.
"Will do," she said. They were both looking at her curiously now.
"Thanks," said Laurie. She left the shop feeling a little better, but still in a foul mood.
Laurie spent the next few hours revisiting her old haunts on her nights out with Rorschach. In the daylight the alleys and streets looked harmless. Feeling hungry and sad, she returned home. The home she had with her father.
Blake came to investigate as she opened and shut the door behind her. He seemed genuinely taken aback to see her.
"Hi Dad," said Laurie, giving him a level look. "I'm sorry I left you with Mom like that."
"Well, that's okay," he said. He smiled a little and looked as tired as she felt.
Laurie paused only for a moment. She didn't want to have this conversation, but she felt as if she wouldn't be able to find the courage to ask the right questions if she hesitated now.
"I know this is a terrible thing to have to bring up again," said Laurie, "but why did you do it?"
"I--," started Blake, but then he swallowed and looked around before trying once more. "I was really angry. At the time, it-- it's not something I like to... Well, damn, I was fifteen. And out of control."
Laurie frowned and said nothing.
"You know what?" sighed Blake, weariness growing in his eyes. "I don't even remember why I did it anymore. That was thirty years ago. How do you ask a man about his motivations as a kid?"
Laurie looked at him and he approached her, placing his hands on her shoulders and gazing at her with eyes that were shimmering.
"I don't think I can explain why I did it," he told her. "But I'm sorry, Laurie. I really am."
Laurie smiled up at her father.
"You don't have to apologize to me," she told him. "But maybe Mom?"
Blake nodded and straightened up.
"Yeah, I guess... I guess the subject never came up between us, isn't that the strangest thing? We never talked for the longest time, and then she showed up and she acted as if nothing had ever happened. We never talked about it. I always just assumed she had forgiven me, somehow."
"It's okay, Dad," said Laurie, hugging him. She had to stretch around his back and even then couldn't put her arms completely around him. "I love you."
"Oh," said Blake, hugging her back. Laurie couldn't breathe for a moment, but she didn't mind. "You're such a precious thing, you know that? I love you too."
Laurie couldn't help but smile as he awkwardly kissed her forehead. She pulled back and looked up at him and saw that he had been crying. That was okay, because she was crying too.
"Why don't we eat?" asked Blake, smiling and smoothing back her hair. Laurie laughed.
"Why not," she said, feeling relieved. "And I'll talk to Mom later. I don't like the idea of her being alone and upset like she was."
"Yeah," Blake nodded. "I'll talk to her too. If she wants to talk to me, that is."
"I'm sure she does. Why else would she show up like that in the street and scream at you?"
"Oh, I dunno -- because you're such a good daughter, and she's sore I have you with me?"
Laurie laughed at that, but beamed at her father nonetheless. They were walking to the kitchen when there was a smart knock at the door. Laurie's heart lurched as she stared at her dad. Either it was her mother and they were in for another row, or it was Rorschach, and she wasn't emotionally ready for him right now. In any case, Laurie was too afraid to look. She was glad when Blake moved for the door and opened it.
"Uh, hi," said Blake, to whoever was on the other side. Laurie couldn't see who it was because he was blocking the door, but it didn't seem like it could be either her mother or Rorschach by the tone of voice he used.
"I'm sorry," said a familiar voice. "I was told I would be able to find, err, Miss Laurie here."
Laurie had to come to the door because she couldn't believe her ears. Staring at who was in front of her, she couldn't believe her eyes either. It was Ozymandias.
"How the hell did you know I lived here?" asked Laurie, and for a moment she thought she was going to lose it. The only person she could think of who could have told him was Rorschach, and she couldn't believe the audacity if this were true.
"I'm sorry," said Ozymandias, cringing from her. "I went to your mother's residence -- I remembered you from when you came in the Silk Spectre costume way back when. She told me you lived here."
"Oh," said Laurie. Anger abated for a moment, she felt guilty for blaming Rorschach so easily. "Yes?"
Ozymandias looked uncomfortable. He glanced uneasily at Blake, who was rooted to the doorway. Then he looked at Laurie.
"I was hoping that you could tell me where Rorschach lived, or if you have his contact information, somehow."
"Why would I have any of that?" asked Laurie. "You think I'm his keeper?"
"Well, no, I just thought--"
"I don't know anything about him; you think it's hard working with him now? Well, it's going to be like this years down the line, let me tell you -- I don't even know his name, so don't even assume I know anything else!"
"All right," said Ozymandias. For a moment his face looked flushed before the color died down to his normally pale complexion again. "I apologize for the intrusion."
"No problem son, she just had a long day," said Blake, giving Ozymandias a square look.
"Yes, of course." Ozymandias kept looking from Blake to Laurie until he seemed to come to a conclusion in his head. Suddenly he smiled. "Thank you and good night."
Ozymandias started to leave, then he turned and looked at Laurie.
"Are you going to fight crime anytime soon?" he asked her.
"I don't know," she told him with a glare.
"Ah, well," he said, looking down for a moment. "I don't mean to pry, but..."
Silence. Ozymandias cleared his throat after a moment.
"Actually, it's none of my business," he said. He smiled at them again. "Good night."
"Good night," said Blake, closing the door behind him. He turned and looked at Laurie with a look of pure disbelief. "Can you believe the cheek of your mother? Has she lost her mind telling people like that where to find you?"
"Passive aggressive," said Laurie bitterly. She was partly angry with her mother, but she was also too concerned about trying to figure out what Ozymandias had been trying to tell her.
"More like aggressive aggressive," said Blake, laughing.
"I think I'm just going to go to bed," said Laurie. She felt very unhappy, and her stomach ache was back again.
"Well all right," said Blake, voice softening with concern. "Good night, Laurie."
"Good night, Dad."
Laurie could feel her father watching her as she went into her room. She cried for a long while before she finally fell asleep.
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To be continued...
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Author's note: Thanks go out again to Vaudeville for steering me in the right direction. She really helped me narrow down my options so I could focus on what was important in the story. :)