A/N: Okay, here's another one. You will see what I mean about the song near the end so feel free to suggest something. This chapter is a bit longer, actually it's my longest yet which I'm happy about because I've been aiming for around 4,000 words but have been coming up with about 3,000 which is my minimum after my first two 'set up' chapters. Anyway enough babbling, I will no doubt continue at the bottom, so I hope you enjoy it, let me know what you think.

So on with the next chapter...

Chapter 10

As they reached the dining area they followed their usual pattern of getting their food and sitting down at a table together. As had become normal their time together eating was their time to talk, the next topic however was one Beca was not looking forward to, she simultaneously wanted to put it off and get it over with. Still, it was a delicate topic that could not just come up out of silence. It was awkward enough without starting with 'Hey remember when I thought you cheated on me?' Luckily she didn't have to spend long trying to think of something to say before bringing up the thing that really tore them apart.

"So, I know your just dying to watch a movie this afternoon." He started.

"Of all the joint thing we could all do they had to pick watching a movie."

"Hey, you really have regressed since your movication stopped. You were really making improvements."

"Okay, that probably had nothing to do with the movies."

"I'm I to take you just admitted to liking me company? You know that contradicts everything you said this morning?"

"No, I used to really hate movies, I said I could tolerate you, I just mildly disliked the movies when you were there."

"Spin it anyway you want Beca, I know the truth." She rolled her eyes at his response. After a moments silence he spoke up again, his voice suddenly deadly serious, all teasing and joking gone from his tone. "So I guess you want to carry on talking about what happened." It was more of a statement than a question but she still nodded. "Okay, what happened? How did it happen? I never found out."

"Well, we had been fighting since before the semi-finals. I hadn't even realised that I had been pushing you away, but I know now that I had been. Then there was the song thing. I guess somehow I got it in my head that one of you guys knew and did it on purpose, that you have someone spying on us or something." He opened his mouth to speak but she could him off before he could object. She knew he was outraged that she would think that, she had to explain before he got mad. "I know it was stupid and that you guys would never do that." She paused for a moment and he raised an eyebrow clearly saying 'Really? Never?' She had to concede. "Well, not back then anyway." It then registered what he had meant. "Hey, at least you finally admitted to that, I knew you guys had but I could never get you to admit it."

"I never said a word and for the record it wasn't like you guys didn't do the same."

"We never engineered auditions to get a spy into your group!"

"I never, said anyone did. I have no idea what you're talking about Beca. We're getting off topic."

"Fine, you're right but I'm coming back to that later." She paused and took a deep breath. "Anyway, like I said I know you wouldn't actually do that, not back then anyway, but it just seemed like too much of a coincidence."

"I told you it was. But surprise, surprise you didn't believe me. You didn't trust me!" He was getting mad again.

"I did! I knew even then you wouldn't but like the jealousy thing, while I knew it a small irrational part of me wondered. Not ready to give up the idea. Things like that don't just happen."

"Well it did Beca."

"I know. I know okay? And I did trust you, I think maybe you were the only one I trusted, myself included. That was maybe the real reason, I took what I saw as truth, because I trusted you but I didn't trust me. I thought you would never to that, but I didn't trust what I thought. That's changed, I learned to trust my own instincts."

"That's great Beca but what did you see that would make you think such a thing. I know you didn't see me do anything so what on earth could you have seen?" He was still irritated.

"It started when I heard this rumour, you had been getting a lot of attention since you guys won the semi-finals; female attention, and because we weren't really talking, apart from you clarifying that the song was a pure accident; no-one knew about it, and when we both clarified that we were not breaking up; that we would work through it eventually, I couldn't exactly be the jealous girl friend who got to show everyone that you were mine, I just had to watch, but it was okay because I knew nothing would happen. So when I heard this rumour about you and another girl I went to find you knowing you would assure me that it was nothing but a rumour. It was stupid I know but I was fed up of us not talking and I just wanted it over with so I came to yell at you, have you tell me it was a stupid rumour and that you love me, selfish I know, then to make up and forget about the stupid fight. The thing is that's not what happened, as you know. I headed to your room, as good a place to start as any, to talk but I found something else. As I reached your room I found Carly leaving your room. She was wearing your t-shirt and talking to you through the gap in the door. About how she would see you later and how she wouldn't tell me, lover. I never saw you. I should have known you weren't in the room but she put on such a convincing act, like she really had just been caught. It was surprising and I suddenly wasn't sure I knew what I knew. It made the rumour seem true and it was so easy to believe. Benji was there. He saw the whole thing. He believed it too. I went back to my room and he followed. Once I had calmed down he left. I don't know what he did after that." She finished her story.

"He came to see me. It's the only time I've ever seen him mad. I don't know what exactly set him off. He started to go on about what had I done to you and how could I? It took a while to get what I had apparently done out of him. I explained that I had been there the whole time and that I would never cheat on you and do you know what? A remarkable thing happened. He actually believed me!"

"I'm sorry okay! I should have believed you. I should have at least given you the chance to explain but I didn't. I can't change that now okay?"

"Why didn't you Beca? If you came to see me to have me deny this rumour then why didn't you give me the chance?"

"Because it was too late! I had convinced myself it was true!"

"And everything you said that night?"

"It was all lies. I did love you. I just found it easier to think you played me. That way I could be mad at you. I wouldn't have to blame myself."

"How could you even think that of me Beca? You didn't know me well enough to know that I would never do that? After being like best friends-"

"We were best friends."

"After being best friends for nearly a year and dating for nearly a year after that you still didn't know me well enough to know that I would never cheat. Not on anyone. Especially not on you. I thought you were it Beca!"

"I thought you were it for me too. I still do. No, I know you are."

"Somehow I find it hard to believe that that's what you thought then. I believe you when you say it now but if you really thought it then you would have given me a chance instead of running off to get your revenge with Luke." He voice had started the first sentence calmly but by the time he finished speaking his voice was raised and angry.

"I did believe that! That's why it hurt so much! That's why I wanted to hurt you, because it hurt me so much. I managed to convince myself that you never cared about me but I knew Luke always bothered you so I used him to make you jealous!" She was sounding desperate now, on the verge of tears, her voice begging him to understand, to forgive, even if she didn't deserve it. She knew how she sounded. He had never heard her or seen her like this before. They had attracted the attention of others but right now it didn't matter. Back then she wouldn't be caught dead in this state but now all that mattered was that he understand, that he get it.

"I know why you did what you did with Luke. I believed you the moment you told me your reason. It was never about that Beca. It was always about the fact that you didn't believe me; you didn't know me well enough. I know I'm repeating myself Beca but you never seemed to get it." His voice still raised, his last sentence quieting down, his told becoming resigned and a little cold. He started to get up to leave, the whole room was watching them now, she grabbed his arm to stop him. He turned to face her, their eyes locked. He could see the tears forming as she battled to stay strong. He had never seen her break before but he could see she was close.

"I may not have seen the truth then, I may not have got it. But I do not. Maybe I didn't trust me, Maybe I didn't trust my own ears. It doesn't matter. At the end of the day I can give you a thousand excuses and it won't change the fact that I didn't believe you. Nothing can change the past; we don't live in the world of 'Back to the Future', what happened, happened. But please, can't we just move past this? Don't let this be the end because of a stupid albeit massive mistake I made nearly 10 years ago." She said it evenly, her voice neither raised nor whispering. He could see the sincerity in her eyes. Her hand fell from his arm but her gaze held him. He had caught her movie reference.

"I don't know Beca, I just don't know." He said finally, his voice slightly quieter than hers, then he broke eye contact and left his head bowed as he shook it from side to side.

Beca was left alone. She wasn't sure how that conversation had gone or what had just happened. It could have gone worse she knew that. Maybe not by much but he didn't throw her out of his life completely and tell her he never wanted to see her again. She raised herself to her feet unaware of the people staring at her in silence. As she put her weight on her feet she felt her legs buckle. He emotional stress getting to her. In seconds she was surrounded by her friends. Fat Amy and Chloe on either side of her supporting her while Denise, Cynthia Rose, Ashley, Stacie, Aubrey, Jessica, Lily and Jane formed a protective bubble around her as they escorted her to her room in the Bella house. Beca barely registered what was happening from within her haze of emotions and the conversation she just had playing in her mind. She did manage to recognise they were helping her though and felt grateful somewhere mixed in with everything else. Would every lunchtime be this bad? 'I don't know how much more of this I can take!' She thought to herself.

A couple of hours later everyone was gathered back in the other house ready for the afternoon's activity. After they had got back to Beca's room no-one had said anything. They had all sat there with her until she seemed to come out of her reverie. She had smiled, wiped the few stray tears that she didn't recall escaping away and then they had had a group hug. None of them had ever seen Beca in such a way. She was always so strong, to see her break had freaked them all out. Afraid of setting her off again they has not said a word about what had upset her. She was grateful for that. Still they couldn't exactly blame Jesse for putting her in that state. They had heard enough to know it his reaction was quite justified, they had not known the story, at least not that one. After helping Beca clean herself up they all headed back to the other house deciding the best policy was to act as if it had never happened. Beca had taken a quick look in the mirror before she left and was relieved to see no trace of her emotional outburst on her face.

Now everyone was gathered to watch a movie. Beca wasn't sure if it was intentional and someone was playing a cruel trick on her or if it was a coincidence but she arrived to fine that for once the Bellas and Trebles had actually agreed on something. It was a big step even if it was only choosing a movie. The choice however made Beca want to scream.

"So everyone's good with The Breakfast Club?" somebody asked as they put it in the player. That was what you get for being the last to arrive. Of all the films to watch they had to choose that one. It was nearly 40 years old they couldn't have picked anything else?

"Seriously? I've seen that movie like a hundred times." She blurted out before she could stop herself. To most of the people there it seemed like a perfectly normal thing to say, but to those who knew her it was like she had spoken in a foreign language. Even fewer had an idea of what relevance the movie held. Some of her Bellas knew the sound track had been used to get Jesse back but they were unaware of the relevance of the film itself. Jesse had turned to look at her as she had said it. He was aware that it was likely the only movie she had repeatedly watched and possible the only movie she watched all the way through. He had only watched in with her once, after the ICCA final, it meant she had watched it on her own. It meant something. Benji also lit up, as if something clicked, a repressed memory came to light.

"Hey, when I came to see you after you and Jesse broke up you wer-" He started.

"Benji!" Beca shouted her tone warning as she cut him off. His face suddenly froze as realisation slipped over it then it turned into a silent apology.

"What were you saying Benji?" Jesse asked, now he was intrigued, he wanted to know, needed to know.

"I'm sorry, I can't. I was sworn to secrecy. Sorry Beca, it was so long ago, I forgot. Spoke before I thought" Benji apologised. He had never made it a secret that this was one secret he didn't want to keep from his best friend. The others; that she got upset or that she cried, were simple, the kind of thing that didn't change much whether anyone else knew or not. He didn't want to hurt his friend so not telling Jesse that he had made Beca cry, knowing it wouldn't get them back together just upset them both, didn't really seem to be a problem. This one though could have made a difference. Benji didn't know quite how much but he knew it could have. It was also the one secret Beca was the most adamant at keeping. She saw Jesse turn to bring it up.

"Seriously it was nothing let's just start the movie okay? I can watch it again." She said to the room effectively ending all conversation on the subject as the movie started. She remembered when Benji had come to see her.

Second year at Barden

Beca had not really left her room much in the last few days since her talk with Jesse. It was just under a week until finals and Beca still felt like there was something missing from their songs for the finals. The only time she had left her room had been for the odd lesson and for practice. The girls had noticed but it seemed she wanted to be left alone and they had allowed her the time, they had been busy with their boyfriends anyway as Beca once had been. Amelia was now dating Unicycle and Kelly was dating another Treble. They were all paired off with each other it seemed. Apart from Carly that is. She was still after Jesse and now he was single and Beca had not seemed inclined to tell the others she felt more confident about her futile venture. Not that she saw it that way.

While all this was happening Beca had taken to spending all her free time in her room away from the rest of the world sitting in her bed watching, of all things, movies. It seemed to be what she did whenever she lost Jesse but this time it was so much worse. This time it wasn't the kind of thing she could easily fix. Last time all she had to do was open up, that was the problem. This time she had already overcome her problem that had started the cause of their break up, the problem this time was that she had had the problem in the first place. She hadn't believed him, the only way to fix it was to go back in time and as far as she was aware that was not yet possible. A movie she had recently watched coming to mind. She had also found herself coming back to watch the same movie over and over again: The Breakfast Club.

She had been once again sat in her bed watching The Breakfast Club with what were now her customary tears for this movie when there was a knock on the door. She decided to ignore it. She didn't want to talk to anyone. She had gotten used to not answering when people knocked in hope they would think she was asleep or out or even just didn't want to talk and would therefore leave her alone. It didn't happen this time. The knocking continued, her ignoring continued. Eventually she heard a voice.

"Come on Beca, It's me." Benji called softly through the door. Still she ignored him, or at least pretended to. Yes, Benji was among the select few that had seen her cry and while she did not intend to let him see her cry again she also knew that it also meant she would probably brake down in front of him and what was left of her crumbling walls was all that was keeping her in control in front of everyone else. When it became clear she wasn't answering the knocking stopped. Beca was glad to hear he had given up. That was until her door opened and he walked in, having apparently realised this was the only way he was going to talk to her. She hastily wiped the tears from her face and paused the movie, again wiping her face because her tears had taken this time watching it to not stop. She looked up at Benji still trying to wipe the loathsome tears from her cheeks, she was sat in her bed with her laptop surrounded by movies, much like she had been last year, the difference this time being that she was unable to keep her emotions in anymore. "Oh Beca." He said as he sat down and wrapped his arms around her. She had not been expecting it. They had done this once before, comforted her, sat with her, held her. This time it was too much, her walls broke, perhaps beyond repair if they weren't already, she was suddenly crying onto his chest. Not just tears running down her cheeks but really crying. Benji seemed to understand she needed this and he let her cry, not saying a word until she had calmed down.

"I'm sorry. I'm a mess, that's why I didn't want to see anyone." She explained, her voice still a little wobbly.

"You're allowed to cry Beca; you don't have to keep it all in, that's what friends are for, to share it and to help you carry it."

"You're right, I just don't know how to."

"You'll figure it out Beca."

"I need him back Benji, I know it's too late. That he may never forgive me, that it's selfish to ask him to but I need him back."

"What happened to her strong Beca that didn't need anyone? Not even Jesse?" He asked lightly

"She fell in love with him."

"You may want him Beca but you don't need him to survive. Your better than sitting here wishing he would come to you. We both know that's not going to happen. If you want him back you're gonna have to fight for him, but Beca, you have to know, I don't know if it will work. You should try or you'll hate yourself for letting him go without a fight but don't get your hopes up. It may be too late this time." He spoke both softly and confidently. A mix of encouragement and warning in his tone.

"You're right, again. I have to fight for him. I have to get him back." Benji shook his head wondering if you had picked up half of what he had actually said. Instead of bringing it up again, given her slightly improved mood, he changed the subject.

"So you've been busy." He said looking around at her bed covered with DVD cases. She looked around and nodded.

"I don't know why but I really needed to watch them."

"I thought you didn't like movies."

"Normally I don't." She said looking down. The rest didn't need to be said. It was because of Jesse. Everything was but this, this could change things. If he knew what she was going, how she was watching movies because of him, something unique and linked to him, that would show him how much he meant to her, what she really thought and felt for him. It may just be enough to make him rethink. Benji opened his mouth to say something along those lines when she spoke. "Don't tell him okay?"

"Beca..." He started his voice pleading.

"No! He can't know. I don't want him to know."

"I don't think I can keep this one from him. The rest wouldn't change anything but this might." He tried.

"No!" She stood firm. "Benji promise me. Promise me you won't tell him, or anyone , about this okay? Swear to me you won't. The other stuff doesn't matter but this one is important, Swear to me you won't tell a soul." She demanded and pleaded at the same time.

"I don't know Beca, I really think-"

"Swear to me Benji. Promise me you won't tell anyone. Please!" She really was on the verge of begging now. She wasn't entirely sure why it was so important that he not tell anyone but it was. It was like the most important thing in the world at this moment.

"Okay Beca," He sighed, defeated, "I promise I won't tell anyone. I swear."

"Thank you. I'm sorry Benji. It's just the way it needs to be, no one can know."

"I get it, its okay." He didn't. "Look if you're feeling better I really need to go or I'll be late for practice and mentioning your name in his presence won't end well, especially as an excuse for being late. No offence." He added as an afterthought.

"None taken. I'm fine, you go I don't want to get you in trouble."

"Alright bye," He started to leave but as he reached the door he turned around again, "and Beca, don't keep yourself shut up in here, if you need anyone to talk to just call me. Just because he's my best friend doesn't mean I can't be your friend too or that you can't talk to me about him you know."

"Thanks Benji, I'll keep it in mind. Bye" she said as he nodded and waved before leaving and closing the door behind him. Beca sat back in her bed. Another couple of repeats of The Breakfast Club later and she was ready to fight for him. And she knew just what she was going to do. After all it worked so well the last time, it was exactly what was missing from their song. She would sing to Jesse again at the final and win him back again, and then they could talk and fix this whole thing.

She wasn't exactly when or how she had ended up sitting next to Jesse to watch the movie. She didn't remember sitting next to him or him next to her but that didn't change her predicament. To top it all off the customary tears started. He had never really seen her cry at the movie, she had managed to real it in the one time they had watched the whole thing and she had managed to keep herself distracted, usually by watching him reactions, the way he would mime the words or mimic certain actions always enthralled her, it was much more fun to watch than the movie. Not that they weren't growing on her with all her movication. This time however she couldn't watch him instead, beside she had way too much history with this movie now not to watch it. She could practically mime the words along with Jesse. When she had caught herself doing it had been her first hint. She began her routine of wiping the tears away. It was almost a subconscious gesture now but one that caught Jesse's attention. After about 10 minutes of watching her trying to wipe away her tears unsuccessfully he put his arm around her and let her rest her head on his chest. Her tears didn't stop but they did lessen slightly as she sat nestled against him his thumb stroking her arm gently.

She remained there throughout the rest of the movie, comfortable. It made her wish that the movie would never end despite it making her cry. Still, as the movie ended so did the spell. As much as she didn't want to move it suddenly seemed awkward. She sat up straight as he slipped his arm from around her. Without looking at him she wiped her tears then rubbed her hands over her face and through her hair then pushed herself up on to her feet and made her way into another room weaving through the other people who were also getting up and moving around. She needed to be alone for a little while; to gather her thoughts. As she left she heard Bellas and Trebles commenting on the movie to each other, without insults. 'Well, at least there's improvement there.' She thought to herself as she ducked into an empty room within the house.

Right, (I'm trying a new word, I've become very aware that I say 'okay' too much) so now you should know what I mean by a song. Feel free to suggest one or let me know if you think it should be one from the film or a different film that they could have watched. It was very hard remembering to write movie instead of film. I nearly did it so many times. Yes they have finally got to the root of their break up. Who knew Jesse would blow up like that but I guess it is sort of justified, after the time they knew each other she maybe should have believed him. Not that I'm taking sides. He may have enjoyed the attention and making her jealous a little too much when she was already insecure, then again he didn't know cause she never told him so... At the end of the day they are both a little to blame. The Bellas were nice to her though, even if they didn't fully inderstand what they were talking about. She had another moment with Benji flashback. Yes that was the secret. The one that may have got Jesse back had she let him find out. You could cry about losing anyone but the movie thing is unique to him. This chapter has been in my head for a while now I had to plan back when certain flashbacks would fall and how so I could fit these in here. So we have reached half way through the week, sort of, we still have the weekend after of course and she had an extra week off so she has extra time to tie things up and stuff. Like most things I plan it is starting to spiral out a little. This is why i don't plan because when I do I get carried away and before you know it a simple idea is incredible complex, like the board game I made for graphics at GCSE. I doubt anyone could play it by the time it was made. I blame to teacher, she made us spend weeks planning. I just went off on a tangent again sorry. So back to whatever I was talking about, note I'm not planning and just writing as I think and this is what happens, I'm quite exicted about the next chapter, they seem to have started to get somewhere. It may not seem like it but they say things have to get worse before they get better and they seemed to in this chapter. Anyway, I will finish my essay here. I hope you enjoyed it, let me know what you think. See you in the next chapter. (Wow, that was a long note) (*smiles*)