Hey guys! I'm so glad that you guys like this story! If you have any questions, just ask and any requests for me to write something then ask away! I don't own D-Gray man just the poems. Thanks! By the way these next poems are referring to the poem "We wear the mask" By Paul Laurence Dun Bar.

Eyes

~Bright Blue eyes that shine so bright, even when you're frightened, they still keep their light, Your mask is quite dainty, almost real, not a fake, but underneath that happy smile and bright blue eyes we see, sad, dark grey blue eyes that have seen too much pain.

~Brown eyes in a colored face. You feel like such a big disgrace. You get hurt every day and you wish for another way. So you pick up your mask and the world sees a smile. Just like the poem says "With torn and bleeding hearts, we smile."

~Hazel eyes in a hollow face. Hollow Face about to break. Hand holding mask as though not to break. The world sees a smile but I see a fake. I see the tears that you hide and store away. You save them all for another day. So no one sees you break or cry. "But let the world dream otherwise. We wear the mask."

I sighed. Why did I have to be so stupid as to forget my notebook at that place? I had gone back to The Demon's Place and asked around for the precious black and gray notebook.

No one had seen it except for one person and they said that a guy with long hair walked out with it. That only meant one thing. Kanda had found my notebook. I was headed toward my work the next day after school.

It was a Friday and Lavi had invited Lenalee, Kanda, and I to his cabin for the weekend. I was really worried that Kanda had read some of the poems but for one, I didn't know where he lived. I also was too scared to go and ask him about it.

I was hoping that he would bring the notebook when we went to the cabin but if he didn't… I'm doomed. After work that day I walked around back and grabbed my coat. "Bye Tim!" I shouted to my boss. "Bye Allen!" He yelled back as the door slammed shut. I felt my cellphone buzz. "Hello?" I said, putting the phone to my ear so I could grab my car keys.

"Hey Allen-chan! Where are you?" Lavi asked me excitedly. "I'm on my way home from work why?" I said putting the car in drive and pulling out of the parking lot. (Okay guys sorry I forgot to mention that Allen is now 17 and can drive. This is a few weeks later from the beginning of the story.)

"Can we meet up before we go to the cabin?" Lavi asked me. "Uh sure I guess. Where are we meeting up at?" There was a pause and then "How about that ice cream shop near your house?" I stopped at the red light. "Sure. I'll be there in a bit." I said pulling forward. "Okay Allen-chan! See you there!" He said hanging up. I sighed. Please don't let Kanda be there…

At the Ice Cream Shop

I got out of my car and looked around for Lavi. That's when I saw Kanda. His long hair was pulled back into a ponytail and he was wearing a black leather jacket with skinny jeans and black combat boots. He had a black messenger bag slung over his shoulder.

None of that mattered though. Inside his messenger bag was a black and gray notebook. MY black and gray notebook. On the outside I pretended that I hadn't noticed the notebook. I smiled at Lavi and Lenalee. As soon as Lavi and Lenalee walked away I roughly grabbed Kanda and fragged him into the bathroom. I turned around and locked the door.

"What the hell are you doing Moyashi?!" He growled at me. "Why do you have my notebook?" I shot back, growling and clenching my hands. "You're the one that forgot it." He said smirking. "Give it back." I said, holding out my hand for it. I watched as his facial expressions changed.

"No. Why do you need it?" I sighed. "How much did you read?" "Enough. Why do you wear long sleeved shirts?" I quickly answered "I get cold easily." Kanda growled at me and then walked closer. "Liar. Why are you lying?" I closed my eyes. He was too close. "I'm not lying." He pinned my arms above my head. "Show me your arms then." I turned my head to the side, my eyes still tightly shut.

"So you're asking me to strip?" I asked, trying to change the subject. "You know what I meant." He said with a warning underlying his tone. "Why would you care?" I asked quietly. I was shocked with what I heard next. "I don't know. I get this weird feeling every time I'm around you and I just…I can't help it." I opened my eyes and looked into his eyes. He was being sincere.

He didn't know how to say it but he was being sincere. "Kanda you…" "Shut up." He said resting his head on my shoulder. "BANG, BANG, BANG" "ALLEN! KANDA!" Lavi yelled through the door. "Time to go!" "Okay be right there in a second." I yelled back, forcing a smile on to my face. I unlocked the door, thinking about what Kanda had said. Because we were so close to my house, I told Lavi that I would meet up with them so we could start the trip to the cabin. This was going to be a long weekend…..

A small part of the trip to the cabin…

"So what were you and Kanda doing?" Lavi asked me. Lavi, Lenalee and I were in one car and Kanda was in his own car. "I just had a question to ask him. It was nothing."(We all know it wasn't nothing)

Lavi smiled brightly. "No…..action?" I was seeing red. "Lavi! I will kill you!" I grabbed him by the neck and the car swerved. "I want to live!" Lenalee yelled from the back seat. "You're lucky you're driving." I growled turning and looking out the window. "Aww Allen-chan. Don't be mad at me." He said smiling. "Whatever." I muttered under my breath...

If something bad happened to me…

If water was a kiss, I'd send you the sea. If a hug was a leaf, I'd send you a tree. If love was forever, I'd send you eternity – K. Martins. I think this applies to what I would do, if you loved me like I love you. If pain was a lie then maybe I'd die in peace. So leave me to rest you're not the best for me. Why would you care if I'm slowly dying?

In this despair I'm not trying anymore. So what would it be? If no one rescued me? Nothing no nothing would happen to me. No one would see all the stains that bleed. I fake it and take it because I'm afraid. But that's okay with me. Bleeding eternally.

So where would this put us if you saw this? Nowhere because really you don't care. Forever is a lonely word, a broken promise of two. Would you say that to me? Would it matter to you? Is it me? What did I do? Maybe if you tell me I would change for you. You look so sad and it hurts me too. Do you cry at night? I do. Do you need someone to care for you? Because I will if you ask me to. I really care for you why can't you care for me? I'm crying inside I'm breaking inside it hurts me so much I can't breathe. My heart feels like it's about to explode. I think I'm going to die of a broken heart. That's so sad that's so sad. This life is filled with hurt, when happiness doesn't work; Trust me and take my hand, when the lights go out you'll understand. The dreams are gone; midnight has come, the darkness is our new kingdom. Deep inside your eyes it shows, you've been lost for too long.

This loneliness is killing me, its filling me with anger and resentment…I'm turning into someone that I never thought I'd have to be again. There's blood in the air…there's death on the breeze. The bottom line is that we fall for the people we are not supposed to.

Isn't that so true? I wasn't meant to fall in love with you but I did and now it's slowly killing me. Why do I want to make you smile? Why do I want to make you laugh? I don't think this is fair to me or you. I must bother you too much. I'm sorry.

I wish I could apologize. I wish that I just hadn't cried. I wish that I had hid my pain. But instead I played a stupid game. I think I'm slowly going insane. I can't really feel the pain. I've gone insane. I'm so numb now. Is this the way it is supposed to be? What happened to me? I'm gone, I'm cold, I'm alone in a room full of people. Have you felt the way I do?

Help me is what I want to cry but instead I say "How can I help? What's wrong? Smile." when I can't do anything like that. I'm lying to everyone I meet. Liar. Shut up. Drama Queen. Ugly. Fat. Pathetic. Brat. Snot nosed brat. Immature. Stupid. Dumb.

He was like a shattered stained-glass window: something beautiful that's broken; a million colors fallen on the ground where no light can get through. Courage isn't having the strength to go on-it is going on when you don't have the strength. You go on.

You set one foot in front of the other, and if a thin voice cries out, somewhere behind you, you pretend not to hear, and keep going. I thought about the days I had handed over the bottle, the nights I can't remember, the mornings I slept through, all the time I spent running from myself.

I run and run and run trying to find a way. To escape escape escape from every day, from all the pain. There's nowhere to go. Nowhere to be. The lake of fire is all around me. I hope I could live for a little while longer but really I'm not getting stronger. Can I scream? Can I hurt? Can I break something please? I want to be free, from the chains that choke me and hold me.

This isn't something I can do alone. So where are you? I feel alone. This place hurts. This place is suffocating me. I can't stand in this world of mine. I think I may have a lonely tea party. You're invited too. Maybe we can talk sometime. I hope that time comes soon. What would happen if I slid a knife across my palm? Can I see myself bleed? I would want that I think.

Hope you enjoyed! Review and tell me what color eyes you have. I have hazel eyes.