I want to apologise for the late update, it's been over a month I think! But this was so hard to write character wise, to truly get their emotions and reactions across perfectly and it did take me a long time, writing something down, deleting it then writing something down before starting over again. Then a severe injury happened with my dog, and i've been worried sick about her so i was caught up with that during the week. But I did the best I could with this update and will accept all feedback and criticism on this chapter :) I did want to get this checked but unfortunately things arose for my beta so I thought I'd proofread it myself a lot and publish it now, because i know you've all been waiting long enough. Please tell me of any grammar mistakes as I need to work on it and if anyone's interested in betaing let me know!

I will say, the next update shouldn't be as long as I've already started! It was so much fun writing that one cause I got to be creative and take a completing different turn with this story and use some of my writing skills, so something to look forward to :) Anyway, enjoy, please tell me what you think, I did my best to give this chapter justice.

Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time

XIX: A Part of Me

"Come on," Regina growled, glaring murderously at the vanilla scented candle.

A small flame flickered on the candle, but no sooner had it ignited did it vanish. Regina repressed a frustrated groan, her eyes hardening into a sour scowl.

"Light dam you," she hissed.

The candle seemed to mock her as it stared blankly back at her, tall and unlit. Growling, she chucked the candle across the room and sank back into her leather sofa, defeated.

Yes, magic was in Storybrook, yet she still possessed none, and it was beginning to worry her. Regina knew she was simply a little rusty. After all she hadn't been using magic for twenty-eight years, but she was stuck in a town full of people who loathed her and it wouldn't surprise her if they were at her front door now with pitch forks and torches, plotting her death. Magic was her only hope.

A sudden wave of nausea slammed into her like a speeding truck. Regina groaned and fell back into her velvet cushions, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes as the sickness passed.

Slowly she sat back up and placed her hand on her stomach, breathing out a sigh of relief as the dizziness faded. The corner of her lips twitched into a small smile. Last night's memory drifted into her mind, when she was still slumped against the wall in a pool of shattered glass, cut, bleeding and broken. Then she thought of her child.

After that she was up, her wounds were cleaned and she was safely in bed, cut and broken, but as safe as she could be in her state. She had to keep going; she had to keep fighting, if not for her then for Henry and Narelle.

She thought it to be ridiculous; she was over a month pregnant, yet she already felt that she had a connection to her. Her.Regina shook her head incredulously, and she had already predetermined her gender.

"Thank you dear," she whispered to her stomach, smiling fondly. "For-" Regina's voice cut off as she thought. "For giving me hope, and a reason to keep on fighting. And I will, for you…for us."

Regina lowered her eyes, her thoughts drifting off to David. He hadn't brought up Narelle, and she assumed with yesterday's events, (the breaking of the curse, his reunion with his family and discovering Regina's initial intentions for pursuing a relationship with him) he was distracted, and hadn't mentioned the child.

Regina pushed her lips together, the realisation plummeting onto her. He was the child's father and Regina wanted him to be in her life. She remembered raising Henry, and everyday wishing that he had a father figure to help guide him. She didn't want to make the same mistake twice. Yet as she remembered his actions yesterday, when he pushed her up against the wall and broke her heart, even when she practically said she still held feelings for him, she wasn't sure if he wanted to be her father. And the thought painfully squeezed at her heart.

A loud knock on the door shattered her thoughts, bringing her back to reality. Casting her child inside one last smile she stood up, her heels rapping on the marble tiles as she went to answer the door. Regina's eyes widened at the guest, her lips spreading into a smile.

"Henry," she breathed, unsure of how to greet her son.

"Hey," he responded softly, giving her a small smile.

"May we come in?"

Regina blinked and looked past her son to David, who stood formidable and tall. He truly was James Charming, strong and stern, his eyes never giving away his emotions to the 'Evil Queen'.

Regina slowly nodded, inviting them in with a gesture of her hand. David waited in the kitchen, allowing Regina to spend time with her son, and Regina was grateful for it.

"Mom," Henry spoke once they reached the living room. "I just wanted to stop by to let you know I'm safe."

A small smile touched Regina's lips, yet her eyes saddened, because deep inside she knew what was coming next. "I'm glad Henry."

"And," he continued, cringing, fearful of how she would respond. "David and Mary Margaret offered for me to stay with them, and Emma asked if I could. So I could catch up with them…I mean," he paused uncomfortably. "To catch up with my grandparents."

Regina took a deep breath and lowered her eyes, hoping to mask her dejection. Yes, she knew he was going to say something along those lines; after all he didn't just stop by to say hi. Yet his words still stung.

"I-", Regina stopped, swallowing. She what? She was hoping that he would stay here with her? She must have been kidding herself, there was no way he would, not when he could spend the day riding with his valiant Grandpa, laughing with his Grandma or eating ice cream with his biological Mother. "Very well then," she said instead, her lips stretching into a tight smile that never met her eyes. She inclined her head towards the stairs. "You better pack your things then dear."

"Thanks!" Henry passed her a beaming smile as he dashed towards the bottom of the staircase before he hesitated. He ran back to his mom and flung his arms around his waist, resting his head against her and letting her familiar apple scent, protecting arms and motherly warmth envelop him.

"Really," he whispered. "Thank you."

He wasn't expecting her to agree so easily and was overjoyed that she did let him, that he would be spending time with his family, the Charming's. Yet when he caught her eyes, her despondent eyes, he couldn't ignore the twang of guilt building inside of him. His mother did love him, and lately he had grown to care for her as well, and deep inside he really did love her. Part of him did want to stay with her, to spend more time with her, but more than ever he wanted to go with Emma and catch up with his mom.

Henry released her from his embrace and she watched her son rush upstairs, the smile slowly fading from her lips.

"Can we talk?"

Regina whirled around to Charming, who was standing by the door. Her lips pressed together in a small purse but she nodded nonetheless.

"Thank you, by the way," she said before he could speak, her voice sincere. "For letting me see my son."

David nodded, approaching Regina. "He wanted to see you too," he offered, feeling a small pang of sadness when he met her despondent gaze. "But that's not why I came," he spoke quickly. David took a deep breath, preparing himself for the difficult conversation facing him. "Regina, I want to talk about Narelle."

Regina's eyes hardened into a stony expression, but she remained silent. David took a deep breath, struggling to find the right words. "I want to be in her life, no, I want more then that. I want to be her father."

Regina's eyes rounded at his words, her face softening. "You do?"

David nodded, and his cold demeanor slowly melted, his lips twitching into a sheepish smile. "I do, of course I do. She's my child Regina, and our past actions, your curse…she shouldn't have to suffer for it, and she shouldn't have to lose her father."

Regina's eyebrows furrowed into a small frown and she shook her head. "But I don't understand, I assumed Mary Margaret-"

"I'll talk to her," David quickly spoke. "It'll sadden her, but she'll have to know eventually."

David stopped, his face creasing when he imagined his wife's crestfallen face. He had done this to her, he had hurt her and would do so again. He hated himself for what he did with Regina, yet at the same time he felt excited, excited to see his child. He had missed out on being a father to Emma, and now he had a second chance to raise a child.

"I'm glad," Regina spoke quietly, meeting his eyes. "Henry never got the father he deserved, and I'd hate for Narelle to miss one too."

David nodded in response. A heavy silence lingered in the air, his thoughts preoccupied on yesterday's events.

"During the past few months, I meant every word I said to you. I truly did."

"Yesterday," David broke the silence, raising his head to meet her eyes. "What you said…did you really mean it?"

Regina swallowed; she had feared that he would bring up yesterday's events. "I-" Regina paused and took a deep breath. If she said it was true, then she'd be admitting her love for him. And she just couldn't do that, not now, not when she knew they had no chance together. But when she met his olive, green eyes, the same green eyes that had made her stomach flip, her heart gallop, her throat thicken, the same green eyes she fell in love with…she couldn't lie to him.

"I did," she responded softly, lowering her eyes.

David frowned, staring at her closely. "But I don't understand."

"Nor do I," she looked back up at him, her voice raspy. "I admit it's rather complicated and I can't quite explain how-" Regina stopped, unsure of how to continue. Taking a deep breath she spoke, her voice controlled and determined. "However, where we stand in our relationship and our feelings do not matter. All I care about is our child, and that she receives the wonderful father she deserves."

"Yes, of course." Yet David wanted her to finish what she was saying, and he felt as if something inside of him was urging him to continue the conversation himself, and he couldn't for the life of him understand why. "Also, Regina," he paused, guilt creasing his features as he remembered yesterday's events. "I wanted to apologise, for my actions yesterday. I was just so angry, and confused, and feeling like I was spat out head first by a washing machine after being awoken from the curse didn't help either," he finished, attempting a half smile at his last comment.

Regina didn't know how to respond, completely taken back at his apology. Slowly James Charming's confident, aloof persona was peeling away, revealing David Nolan. Then she heard his last comment.

"And I think I deserve to know, we all deserve to know why you did this to us."

Regina stifled an incredulous laugh, raising her eyebrows. "I'm sorry?"

David rolled his shoulders back confidently, Charming yet again taking over. "Regina, I was poisoned and cursed. You tore apart my family, destroyed our home and ruined hundreds of lives. For all you've done to us, the least we deserve is the truth."

Regina's face-hardened as she took a step towards him, her eyes burning into his. "The truth? You want to know the truth? Your precious Snow, what she did to me…she brought the curse upon herself and everyone else."

David shook his head incredulously, repressing a disbelieving laugh. "Snow told me what happened and let me tell you now, it was not her fault. She was a child Regina. And I find it hard to believe that her actions were your sole motive for enacting the curse."

Regina's eyes flashed like a raging storm, her sides almost shaking with anger. "I do not have to stand here and discuss this with you," Regina's voice dangerously rose.

A thousand venomous words she wanted to shout at him ran through her head, but she knew Henry was just upstairs and he would hate her for arguing with him. So instead Regina took a deep breath, calming down her bubbling temper.

David watched her, astonished that she wasn't shouting at him. He was starting to wonder if he had chosen the correct words, perhaps he shouldn't have demanded an explanation from her and Charming that he had the right to know why he was here. Even though David firmly believed that to be true, he probably shouldn't have voiced it, especially with such spite.

"Regina," he began again, his voice gentler than before. "I know there's more to you then what people know, David Nolan witnessed it." David paused, astonished at what he had said. The words seemed to slip out, as if they were waiting to be said all along. "And I know that Snow's actions wouldn't have pushed you to do all of this, I just want to know the rest of your story."

Regina blinked, barely believing what she had heard. His words were soft and sincere, and were not said with such malice and arrogance as they were before. And when she met his eyes she saw David Nolan, the man she had fallen fall.

It was ludicrous really, that she had separated David Nolan and James Charming into two people. James had always glared at her with such coldness and loathing, and she had always done the same, yet the man before her simply stared at her with sympathy. And deep inside she wanted so desperately to tell him the truth, how magic had only ever been an answer to her problems, how she felt lost and scared every night in her chambers, how Snow White's very existence seemed to torture her with every breath she took, how she just wanted to escape her past, her memories of her mother, her forced marriage and Daniel. How this curse was her only escape to every trouble that had been burdening her for so long. But how could she ever explain that to him, especially when he now cared so little for her.

"Why I brought us here doesn't matter," Regina finally replied. "I know you want to believe that I had a valid reason for this, that you can somehow understand why I did all of this, safe with the knowledge that I'm not-" Regina broke off. That she's not what? Evil? Regina shook her head and met his eyes, starting again. "Even if I told you, it wouldn't change your view of me, nor would you be able to forgive me."

David felt his chest tighten as her lips pulled into a small, trembling smile that never met her eyes. He hated himself for it, but he couldn't help but feel pity towards her. What was wrong with him? After everything she had done to him he was feeling sorry for her? No...he knew from her disheartened smile and her strong attempts at masking her emotions that there was more to the Evil Queen then anyone knew. Snow had mentioned that she was once pure and filled with goodness, so perhaps she was still capable of being the same woman again.

"I've packed."

Both heads whirled around to a beaming Henry, his backpack on and suitcase in his hand. Regina ignored Charming and hurried forward, wrapping her arms around his small frame. Henry hesitated before he dropped his case and returned the embrace.

And in that moment Regina wanted to say a thousand things. If he remembered to pack his pajamas, if he wanted her to bring over his blanket, if he would want to sometimes stay a few nights at her house, if he would ever come home…But she held her tongue and closed her eyes, savoring the moment while it lasted. Because she knew hugs from her son were rare.

"Stay safe sweetheart, I'll miss you."

Henry pulled back, casting her a small smile. "I'll miss you too."

Regina watched her son pick up his case and leave, David at his side.

"David!" Regina quickly called, stopping him.

She stepped forward, glancing longingly at her son once more. "Just…take care of him for me."

David nodded slowly. "Of course."

She watched them both leave, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't rid herself of the taunting fear. When would she next see her son? But not only that, when would she be able to let David go? Because she knew a future with him was impossible, yet the man still held a part of her, her heart, and she didn't know if it would ever be released from his clutches.

…

Mary Margaret watched her husband slip into bed with a weary, fond smile. It was nine o'clock and Emma and Henry were still at the arcade and she couldn't be happier. She was reunited with her family and her true love was by her side once more, yet she couldn't ignore the burning, nagging feeling at the back of her mind. A feeling that had burdened her with the breaking of the curse, and it would not leave her alone.

It was not her kiss that awoke David, it was Regina's, and the thought was torturing her. She had wanted to bring it up all day, yet when she saw her daughter laughing as she glanced at Henry's face, dripping with ice cream and her husband joining in, smearing cookies and cream along his chin, she couldn't bear to ruin the happy moment. But they were alone now, and now was a better time than any to talk.

"David," Mary Margaret started, turning to him. "We need to talk."

A concerned frown creased his eyebrows before he repressed a sigh. "Actually, I was going to speak to you tonight. But you go first."

Mary Margaret nodded and took a deep breath. "Okay, I'm so happy that we're all together again, and that we have our daughter back. But all day I couldn't stop thinking that-that it was Regina's kiss that woke you up from the curse...and not mine."

David's eyes slowly widened when he remembered. How could he have forgotten? "Oh god," he breathed, not knowing what else to say.

Mary Margaret shook her head sadly, closing her eyes. "And I'm not sure what this means, I've always known that only true loves kiss can break such a strong curse but," she paused, opening her eyes. "I remember that David Nolan and Regina had a relationship together, and I thought that Regina had manipulated him. But David, I'm still not sure what this means."

She gave David a helpless, pleading glance, as if hoping that he would have an answer.

David sighed. "I don't know, I wish I could tell you Snow, I really do. I don't know why her kiss broke the curse, because I love you," he paused, thinking. "But David Nolan loved Regina, and David Nolan is a part of me. And…I think I still have feelings for her, I can't understand it myself, let alone explain it," David's frown deepened. "All I know is that I still care for her, but I love you."

Mary Margaret slowly nodded, letting the information sink in. Then she did something David wasn't expecting; she took his hand in hers. "Our memories have only just returned, so I'm sure we're all still a little confused. But we'll work through this, okay?"

David slowly nodded, but when he saw the dejected sigh escape her lips and her eyes sadden, he knew that she wasn't too sure if things would ever be the same.

"So what was it you wanted to tell me?"

Dread passed David's eyes and he took a deep breath, unsure of how to begin. "You remember during the curse, Regina and David were in a relationship, well," he stopped, was it even possible to word this delicately? "During that time, Regina felt pregnant."

"What?"

Mary Margaret's eyes widened, she was sure that she had heard wrong. David's silence only confirmed the horrendous truth. She lowered her eyes, shaking her head.

"I-I don't understand-"

"Snow I'm so sorry," he responded meekly.

Yes, Mary Margaret knew that they had pursued a relationship, but she didn't know it was that serious. She remembered when she had walked in on them in the closet and shut her eyes at the painful memory. No…of course they would have had sex, it shouldn't be this surprising. Yet she couldn't deny the aching, squeezing pain she felt at his words.

"She's pregnant," she murmured, reality sinking in. She looked back up at him, her eyes glistening as they fought back tears. "And you want to be the father?"

David nodded; slightly taken back that she was even asking him. "Of course, I can't abandon my child, even if it is Regina's."

Mary Margaret's eyes drifted off into the distance, letting the silence linger. So what did this mean then? That she would be seeing a lot more of Regina? Mary Margaret swallowed, uncomfortable with the idea of seeing her husband with another child, perhaps even spending more time with Regina. It was hard enough seeing him with her when she was Mary Margaret, would she have to go through the same pain again as Snow White?

"Mary, please say something."

She blinked up at him, wiping away a small tear with the back of her hand. She blinked again, taking a shaking breath. "I think…I think we should have some time apart for awhile."

Confusion passed his features. "What?"

Mary Margaret gave him a small smile "David, you said earlier that you were confused. And I know I said that we could work through this, but a child? I just- I just need some time by myself, to think about this and I think some alone time for you would be good too. Maybe for now, some space would be good for both of us, at least for awhile."

David nodded slowly, understanding. It killed him to see his wife in so much pain and he knew how hard she was taking the information. He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "I think I'm going to take a small walk, to clear my head a bit."

Mary Margaret nodded and whispered, "Okay."

She watched him leave and tightly squeezed her eyes shut, struggling to hold back the stream of tears. No, he still loved her, she knew that much. But she couldn't erase the gripping fear clutching onto her heart, what if David Nolan's feelings for Regina never went away?

…

The door creaked in protest as it swung open, followed by two, leather, tattered boots. A gust of whistling wind hurtled into the damp, dimly lit room of Mr. Gold's Pawnshop, alerting the old man to his guest.

A small smile spread across Gold's face and he dropped his quill, giving the gnome like man his undivided attention.

"Uh Mr. Smee, and I thought you would never come," his smooth, pleasant voice did nothing to reassure the nervous man, whose eyes were darting nervously around the shop.

"Why did you call for me?"

Mr. Gold tore his eyes away from William and returned to his work, raising a glass flask to his eyes to get a closer examination. "I want you to find someone for me."

A small frown pinched the sailor's eyebrows. "Find someone?"

"Yes," Gold whispered, placing the flask back down and reaching for his walnut chest. He opened it and carefully picked out a fine, crimson scale with a pair of tweezers and dropped it into the flask, watching it dissolve with a smoky hiss. "Find this man, and bring him to me."

The man's frown deepened, curious as to why the Dark One wanted him to go to so much trouble for one man. "And what do you want with him?"

Gold lifted his gaze to William, a malicious glint in his eye. "That, dearie is entirely my business. You are to simply find him and bring him to me."

Rumpelstiltskin reached into his draw and pulled out a small photo of the mysterious man, showing it to William. "Find him."

Mr. Smee gave him a small nod, deciding that it was best to not question him further. Repositioning his red, wooly hat he departed.

Mr. Gold brought his attention back to his work, his lips curling into a cunning smile.

Promise me; promise me you won't give into your hate. Promise me you won't kill her.

He had promised her that he would not kill Regina, however he had something else planned. And although he wouldn't be there to witness Regina's suffering, his revenge would be all too sweet nonetheless.

Gold reached for his tweezers again and delicately picked up a strand of coffee coloured hair from the chest, dropping it into the potion. He raised the concoction to his eye once more and swirled the blazing, fiery liquid around, watching the wispy liquid lick the sides of the glass. In a flash his eyes caught a whipping tongue, lashing out through the flames, followed by a pair of piercing, amber eyes, gleaming in the smoke.

Rumpelstiltskin's eyes narrowed vindictively. Jefferson, who had grown mad with his hatred for the Queen freed Bell, knowing that this was the closest he had to getting revenge on Regina.

He remembered when he saw her stumble into his shop; battered and bruised, her eyes wide with horror and uncertainty, her clothes tattered and stained, and her hair in a tangled mess; all because of Regina. How his heart ached and shattered when he saw his beloved Bell in such a state, held captive by Regina for all those years, and who knew what the Evil Queen had done to her? Yet she still begged him not to lay a hand on her: and he wouldn't.

Gold broke out of his cloudy memory, capping his flask with his thumb. He would uphold his promise to Bell, but even so he would get his revenge on Regina. And if it weren't under his hand than it would be under another man's, because one thing was for certain, the Queen would pay.

…

As you can tell from the end, the next chapter shall have a VERY big twist, but I'll let you try and figure it out ;) Please review, their fuel for my writing. Thanks guys!

Lydia :)