The Missing Key

by Anytha84

He often imagined his heart like a door: open when he chose to leave it open otherwise closed with his feelings and emotions safe and unharmed behind it. When Jemma came along, the door was opened and closed regularly; then Jemma found the key and opened that door as she pleased. Companion story to Tis the Season to Be Jolly in Fitz's POV. Prompt #49: Lock. Head canon series.

2. 16, 20 Years Old

-HEAD CANON SERIES-

Can I just say that you guys are awesome? I've received incredible response to this and my last two stories. I'm spending most of my time grinning like a loon while reading ffnet notifications.

Thank you so much. You have no idea what this means to me... :)

As for the story...

As I've already said before, this story is entwined with Tis the Season to Be Jolly. The first chapter could be read on its own and only the 14 years old part had a reference to to Tis the Season.

Fitz's 14 year old part was immediately before Jemma's part.

From now on, the stories will be more connected. I'll put a little description before every age indicator so that you guys won't get confused.

I hope you'll like the update. :)

The Prompt was #49. Lock.

Thanks to my Beta StarryDreamer01 who helps me edit my stories, provides ideas (she's the one that beats the fluff out of me XD) and deals with my incredibly long stories/chapters chock full of grammar horrors. She's also an awesome writer so go and read her stories too!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN AGENTS OF SHIELD.

-:-

He often imagined his heart like a door: open when he chose to leave it open otherwise closed with his feelings and emotions safe and unharmed behind it. When Jemma came along, the door was opened and closed regularly but after a while, as she gained his trust, it was never closed. This was not his own doing: somewhere along the way, Jemma had found the key and could open that door and enter on her own. His heart was hers to enter as she pleased.

-:-

-16 years old- (After 15 years old in Tis the Season)

Leo was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, back home in Glasgow.

He had left MIT two days ago with Jemma for winter break and was going to spend two weeks in Scotland, the longest he'd been home after almost a year and a half.

When he came back at the beginning of the year, it had been for three days -a short sudden interval between classes- and he and Jemma had surprised their families.

Their families hadn't been fully prepared though: Jemma's parents had to go to work so she only saw them at dinner while Leo had spent some time with his mother when she was at home. While he saw Alison early in the morning or at night when she was back from work; he got to see Alec a couple of times.

Bryce had ignored him most of the time and either went to Uni or was out with his friends.

Thankfully, Jemma called and texted him constantly, so he didn't feel too lonely when he was at home. He was happy to know, when they got back at MIT, that he had been giving her the same comfort.

When he left Boston this time, he had felt elated to see his Mum and Alison. He was almost even glad to see Bryce as well.

He would spend time with his family for Christmas. Staying far away from them had struck something in him: he had missed them a lot.

Jemma had been radiating excitement for days in Uni and was nearly jumping in her seat on the plane. Leo had grinned at her antics though he shared the sentiment.

And his welcome home had been great, just as he had imagined.

Alison and Alec had come to get him at the airport at Glasgow; his sister had hugged him tight, ruffling his hair to annoy him and claiming that he had grown up a lot.

Leo had scoffed: he had only gained a few inches in height and was now slightly taller than Jemma...

And on the long drive back home, Ali and Alec had bombarded him with questions about his life in America and MIT. He was starting his second year now and his classes had taken a more technical and hands-on approach. He tried to explain to them about nanotechnologies but one look at their confused and apologetic expressions stopped him immediately.

They didn't understand him: not in this context at least.

Jemma did: she had talked to him about some new applications of miniaturized devices and bots in medical and biological fields.

She listened with rapt attention when he rambled about the devices' blueprints and internal functioning.

Jemma would understand him.

But she wasn't there.

And that led to him staring at his ceiling two days back home and feeling...off.

He missed her.

He was used to seeing and hearing her every day.

His day started with her as they had breakfast together and ended with her when they walked back into their rooms after watching a film in the common room.

He hadn't talked to her in two days. He had sent her a text message earlier in the morning -the first since they were back- to ask her what she was doing.

She had answered shortly after saying that she was out with her parents for Christmas shopping. He quickly replied telling her to have fun after answering her question about his well being, saying that he was fine.

He didn't want to pester her...

He wondered how he had missed that they wouldn't be together, once they decided to come back home. They realised it only when they landed at Heathrow and had to take another plane to go home. Different planes: one going to Liverpool where her parents would pick her up and go to Sheffield, the other to Glasgow.

How had they missed that?

She had missed her family so much and he was sure that she wanted to spend as much time as possible with her parents.

That was the reason for his lack of calls and texts: she was busy and he didn't want to bother her. And he didn't want her to know that he wasn't used to not having her around...

Their routines were ingrained in him as well. Today he had gotten up early to make breakfast for his family and realised that he had made blueberry pancakes only when he was half way done.

Blueberry pancakes were Jemma's favourite and he usually made them on Wednesdays -just like today- when they both had early and boring classes. It was a way to cheer her up.

Just like she would make pasta for dinner whenever he had late lab classes and would come back, grumpy and starving.

Routines, habits and little things that he had with her and that were showing even if she wasn't there.

Leo wondered if all friendships were like this or if he was struggling so much because Jemma was his only friend.

Sighing softly, he sat up and glanced at his phone, lying on his bedside table: no calls or texts.

He wondered if Jemma was having the same concerns or if she was actually so busy that she didn't even think about him.

That last thought made something twinge painfully in his chest.

Sighing loudly again, he swung his legs off his bed and got up. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve and he might as well go down and help his mother with the chores or help her get dinner ready.

His mum and sister had been indulgent and let him be ever since he gotten back; they didn't ask him to help clean or anything but he realised that he couldn't take advantage of this.

Leo thought about last Christmas. He and Jemma had spent it together alone, in their dorm: they had cooked (Jemma cooked while he helped), built snowmen following a Simmons' family tradition (actually, they had built the Tosho-gu monkeys...) and had watched Snow White while sipping hot chocolates.

It had been one of the best Christmases of his life.

He remembered mentioning that they would add new traditions to their Christmases together. His heart lurched at the thought that they might not spend another Christmas together.

Not if they came back home.

But not coming home would mean not seeing their families. And that was out of question.

Leo sighed for the third time and walked downstairs.

The house was decorated for Christmas: fairy lights adorned the door frames and windows, along with wreaths of holly. The decorated tree was in the corner of the living room, colourful lights blinking from it and making the room glow in a soft light. A small pile of presents was beneath it.

Leo walked into the kitchen and found his mother and sister making dinner. Judging by the wonderful scent that wafted from the oven, they were also baking something for Christmas too.

His stomach growled appreciatively making him blush when Alison, who was closest to him, heard it and chuckled.

"Dinner will be ready in a bit, Leo," she said. "Mum's making her famous pot roast." She turned to look at their mother who was checking the biscuits in the oven and then turned back to him. "If you help me peel these, we'll be faster."

Leo eyed the small mound of potatoes on the table and nodded. He got himself a knife and started helping his sister.

He was grateful that she hadn't commented on the fact that he had been cooped in his room all day; both his mother and sister had been looking at him oddly.

He realised that unlike his last visit, where he constantly texted with Jemma, he was quiet and reading on his own.

Ali and Alec had teased him about Jemma being his girlfriend and of not telling them anything when he got his phone out for the n-th time to answer her.

Leo had blushed a furious shade of red and mumbled that they were friends. Thankfully, they didn't insist too much but he did notice that their eyes had softened when he mentioned that he had a friend.

Although they did continue to tease him saying that his accent had turned lighter and had taken on more English tint. Leo had scoffed at them.

His Mum had asked about Jemma as well when he'd finished talking on the phone with her.

He realised that this lack of contact was strange for him and for them to watch as well.

It felt like being back to the time before MIT.

When he was truly alone.

Without Jemma.

He had almost peeled the skin of his first potato when he looked up and saw his sister staring at him.

"What?" He asked defensively. His weariness grew when Alison smirked. "What?"

"You're actually helping out without complaining," she commented, slicing a potato inside the pan and picking another. "Whatever happened to the feet shuffling, twisted mouth and mumbled groans?"

Leo blushed slightly and looked away. He quickly mimicked his sister's previous action and picked another potato.

Alison grinned.

"So, this Jemma girl," she said offhandedly, making him look at her again. "Does she do the cooking?"

"We take turns but-," he replied, lips quirking slightly. "-she always makes dinner just as I always make breakfast. Lunch is up to me."

"And you help her, I hope..."

"Yeah."

"Also in the cleaning?"

"Of course."

Alison's grin widened, confusing the hell out of Leo. She turned to their mother who was by the counter now, listening to their conversation and smiling as she opened the lower cabinets.

"Did you hear that, Mum?" Ali drawled. "Leo actively helps in the house chores! I'd never thought that would be possible. That girl has to be some miracle worker..."

Leo scoffed as his mother chuckled softly and Alison laughed. She moved her chair to approach him and gently squeezed his hand.

"Well, he's a grown up boy and knows how to behave," his Mum said. "I wouldn't have thought any less..."

Leo looked down at her and smiled slightly, a puff of warmth in his chest as he heard the pride in her voice.

It was nice to be home... He had missed the soft affection coming from his family.

The front door opened and closed noisily and Bryce appeared before them, carrying a large bag.

His blue eyes swept over the scene in the kitchen and Leo noticed how his stare hardened when he looked at him. Alison must have noticed too but feigned indifference and smiled slightly at their brother.

"Hey, another laundry bag?" She asked with a hint of a teasing tone. "When are you going to buy a washing machine in that apartment of yours?"

Bryce was in his second year of Uni too. He had surprised the entire family when he announced that he was going to apply for Law School: Leo didn't even know that he was interested on the subject.

But then, his brother had always been good with words: he could easily convince people to believe whatever he wanted.

Leo had learned this the hard way during school...

"James is working on that," Bryce remarked with a grin. "He convinced his parents to get a new one."

Before the first semester was over, Bryce announced that he was going to move in with his friends Andrew and James into an apartment owned by James' father quite near campus.

James went to Business School while Andrew had followed Bryce into Law so the three friends had decided that living all together was the best thing.

Leo didn't linger too much on thinking about James and Andrew: they had been the perpetrators of his hellish college experience. Bryce too but a little part of Leo -the one that still cared for his elder brother and hoped for him to change- had forgiven him.

"Hmm," Ali hummed. Leo noticed her pursed lips and realised that she didn't approve of his friends either. Alec had commented about them earlier, saying that those two hadn't changed much since college and were still obnoxious and stuck up.

The Fitzes were not poor: their mother's job and the monthly income from their Dad's insurance allowed the family to live without restraints but they didn't have much to spare.

Alison was in her final year of Uni and was going to go to Education School. She worked in a pub to save money. Bryce worked in a café to pay his Uni expenses. Leo had his scholarship but he had started saving the money his mother sent him every month, keeping only a minimal part to himself and sending the rest back home.

They all did their best to live well and not weigh too heavily on their mother.

What exactly did Andrew and James know about that? Those two boasted about their money whenever they could.

Leo thought of Jemma, the only daughter of two doctors who probably had financial security since she was a child. And yet, she always spent the money they put together for their common expenses with a practical mind, never buying anything flamboyantly.

She never asked about his family's financial situation. Never questioned anything and waited for him to speak when he was ready.

He never thought that he'd find someone that understood him so thoroughly.

Bryce's stance tensed when he noticed Alison's hidden disapproval over his friends and housemates. He twisted his lips in a barely hidden frown; Leo noticed how his grip on the bag had tightened.

He wondered his brother and sister had argued over this before...

"Dinner will be ready in an hour, sweetheart," Mum said, ignoring the sudden tension in the room. "Will you stay?"

"Sorry, Mum, I can't." Bryce's eyes softened as he spoke to their mother, his voice calm. Leo was glad that his brother's hatred and rebellious arrogance didn't hit his mother. "I've got to work tonight and then I'm going out with the boys since they're leaving for the holidays."

"You'll stay here with us until they come back?" Alison smiled at him as she spoke. Leo realised that his sister was attempting to overcome the tension.

Bryce looked at her and smiled slightly, giving her a quick shrug as an answer.

"Well, that would be nice," Their mother beamed. "I'd have the whole family home for two weeks."

Alison's smile mirrored Mum's one and Leo felt a smile make its way on his face. He looked up and felt his lips droop down at his brother's hardened stare.

He realised that Bryce probably thought that he wouldn't be home for the entire holiday. He probably expected him to leave early.

The only thing that his brother had said to him, ever since he got back, was to hurry up and go back to his 'fancy American nerd school'.

Yeah... He was definitely back home. No other place could make his mood shift from happy to tensed so fast.

Bryce left shortly after, promising Mum that he'd be home tomorrow afternoon and help prepare for Christmas Eve.

Leo finished peeling the potatoes while Alison chopped them down before handing them to their mother.

"How's Jemma?" Alison asked as they washed their hands in the sink.

"I sent her a text this morning," he replied, drying his hands on the tea towel and handing it to her. "She said that she was out with her parents."

"Hmm. And then?"

"Then-?"

"You didn't talk to her again?"

"No," Leo glanced at his sister, noticing her concerned look. "I don't want to bother her. She's spending time with her parents. She also mentioned that her Grandmother would be there: she's busy."

He shrugged and smiled slightly, hoping to wipe the worried look from his sister's face. Alison nodded slowly.

"And she didn't contact you either, right?" She asked. "She probably thinks that you're busy with us too."

"Probably."

He was clinging to that thought and not the fact that she wasn't even thinking of him...

"Alright, go get cleaned up," Alison said, shooing him out of the kitchen. "I'll set the table and call you when it's ready."

Leo nodded and went upstairs to wash.

Once he was done, he sat on his bed and carelessly flicked through the pages of an old videogame magazine. The games fascinated him only at the start: once he understood the mechanics, it would take him a few days to finish them.

He had more interest in RPG and online gaming. He got addicted to Minecraft after a fellow Engineering mate mentioned it and he got Jemma hooked on it too.

Leo blinked.

He had been thinking of Jemma quite a lot.

He wondered what she was doing...

Did she too recall last Christmas and their promise to spend it together, adding new traditions or meshing their older ones together?

Feeling restless again, Leo jumped out of his bed, pocketed his phone and walked downstairs. Alison was in her room and his Mum was in the kitchen.

He walked into the living room, past the set table and sat on the couch. He was going to turn on the TV, hoping to find something vaguely entertaining, when he heard his message ringtone.

Pulling out his phone, he flipped the screen open.

[19:33 – From Jemma:] Can I call you?

Leo stared at the screen for a few seconds; then without thinking, he dialled her number.

His heart thumped loudly in his chest -in excitement, he realised- while the phone rang.

"Leo?" The English lilt made him smile.

"Hey, Jemma, how are you?"

"Fine, I've just come back after having been shopping with Mum. You?"

"Fine, I'm waiting for dinner," Leo felt the restless feeling in his body fade. "So... you wanted to talk about something?"

"Oh...I-It's nothing important actually... I just saw something and you came up to my mind. Well, not that you didn't come up in other moments... but-" He could almost see her now: wrangling her hands as she was going to start rambling.

"I've got time," he answered but a little seed of doubt crept into him. "Unless..well, you're busy... and have other things to do..."

"N-No!" He almost jumped at her tone.

"What did you see then?"

"Oh, the the local museum here is having a new exhibit on aircrafts," She sounded excited. "It 's a historical countdown from the first Wright aircraft to modern vehicles. There should be various models too, even a replica of the Lancaster plane! I also thought about you talking about-"

"-how they managed to make aircrafts fly without our technology and with heavier materials?" He finished her sentence, his interest piquing. He wondered if there could be one of those old war planes that were used in the Arctic regions even now

"Yes. Weren't you searching something to build for that class of yours?"

"Yeah... Aeronautical mechanics. Professor Shino said to look up some of the older aircrafts and understand the mechanics. I was thinking of building a small model to grasp the concept better."

"The exhibit should have old blueprints and notes too."

"That sounds fascinating..." Leo sighed and smiled. "Well, go there for me, yeah? And take notes, pictures and such."

"Of course," He heard her laugh softly. "Although, you'll have to deal with some squiggly lined designs if I can't take pictures. I'm not a very sharp and precise-handed engineer-in-the-making."

Leo laughed.

"Well, I'll manage. And I'll check if there's something worth seeing in our local museum. Hang on, I'll go upstairs and search on my laptop."

Leo dashed upstairs, listening to Jemma talk about her day and of other things while he hung to her every word. The smile on his face didn't falter: it only increased in size.

He was so taken by the call that he hadn't notice his mother looking at him from the kitchen door. Nor did he see the smile on her face when he laughed.

-:-

Later that night, after dinner while her children were upstairs in their room, Lena Fitz lingered in the living room, reading. Her mind wandered off to the scene of her youngest child sitting on the couch and smiling broadly as he spoke to his friend.

That smile had brought back memories: times when there was more happiness in the house, more innocence and laughter in Leo's eyes.

And it made her think of Scott.

Leo had inherited Scott's curls, active mind, ingenious hands and soft smile.

She wanted to see that smile more often.

A sudden idea came to her mind and she reached for the phone.

-:-

After their phone call, Jemma had promised to keep in touch more often since he reassured her that she wouldn't be bothering him.

And they had texted the whole morning of Christmas Eve, updating each other on their families' preparations.

Jemma had mentioned how her mother was cooking some of her favourite Christmas cakes, refusing to let her get a slice until it was midnight. Her description of the cake made Leo's mouth water: he made her promise to bring him a piece when they saw each other of to bake one when they'd be back at their dorm.

On the other hand, Leo had told her about his Mum's strange behaviour.

The morning had been normal: he, Ali and their mother had had breakfast together and then they all worked around the house to get ready for Christmas Eve, cleaning and preparing.

Leo shoveled the snow that had covered their garden and front lawn during the night, muttering to himself about building a bot that could do the bloody freezing and useless job when he was confronted by the oddest of scenes when he returned inside.

Alison and Bryce were standing a few steps away from the kitchen, side by side and staring at something.

Curious, Leo approached them. Last he knew, Ali was cleaning the silverware that they would be using for dinner while Bryce, who had come home earlier than expected, had been chopping some wood for the fireplace. The weather report had claimed that it might snow and they wanted to be prepared.

His siblings turned to him -both did and that surprised Leo- and Alison jerked her head towards the kitchen and Leo peered in.

Their Mum was cooking.

He always admired the ease and normalcy she exuded as she moved in her chair, going from one side of the kitchen to the other. She had long arranged the kitchen to her height and reach and she never needed help when she was tinkering here, just like she never asked for help when she did her sewing work.

It was after a moment that Leo noticed the...oddness.

His Mum was cooking, yes. But she seemed to be cooking for at least ten people, judging by all the pots and pans on the stove and the trays of not yet baked goods on the low tables.

And then...

"Is she humming?" Leo whispered in surprise. He couldn't even remember the last time his Mum had seemed so light hearted.

"Yeah..." Alison replied, voice equally flabbergasted. "And why is she cooking so much?"

"Are we having guests over?" Bryce asked, his deep voice hushed. "Do you think she invited one of her friends?"

Some of the women in the neighbourhood and in town that used to visit when Leo was younger (and his mother had been relegated to the chair) still came to see his Mum. It was comforting to hear that; with him in America, Bryce away in Glasgow and Alison at Uni or work, Mum was always alone...

"Not that I know of," his sister replied. "Besides...it's Christmas: as much as they'd stay with their families."

The three looked at each other, all looking puzzled. A thought came to Leo's mind and his heart raced slightly.

"What if Uncle Sean had called?" he asked, barely hiding a hopeful note.

Sean was their father's only brother. With brown unruly curls, dark brown eyes and an easy smile, the man painfully reminded them of their Dad.

The weeks after the funeral he had stayed at home, helping them out as they all worked on their grief but the sight of him was a constant reminder of what they had lost.

Uncle Sean lived in Edinburgh, their Dad's hometown, with his wife and children. They used to come over to Glasgow often but now the visits were rare if non-existent.

He wondered if his uncle had a hard time visiting them because he could see his brother's shadow in everything here as they could see it in him...

"No," Alison replied, eyes clouding slightly. "He sent the usual holiday card. Again."

And just like that, the spell vanished.

This little moment where everything seemed so normal -normal as it had been years ago. Where Mum puttered in the kitchen with the three of them huddled together, conspiring; where Leo almost expected his dad to walk into the room, grinning at his family and asking if the three of them were too old to do their traditional snowmen contest because this year's prize was worth a bit of competition.

It was a scenario that showed a happy family. A scene of what might have been their lives.

What if...?

Leo took a deep breath, dispelling these thoughts out of his mind. He didn't want to give into those thoughts now. He heard Ali take a shuddering breath and when he turned, he saw Bryce staring at him, his eyes an icy blue.

Thankfully, his mum noticed them and Leo didn't have to deal with his brother's hatred again.

"What are you three whispering about over there?" She asked, approaching them.

"Nothing really," Alison replied, smiling slightly. Leo noticed how she forced herself to keep her expression light. "What's going on, Mum?" She gestured to the kitchen.

"I'm cooking," his Mum replied, turning around with a smile and heading to the oven to see the biscuits inside.

"Yeah... but for how many?" Bryce asked, leaning against the door frame. "It's four us: you've made enough food for ten."

"Never thought I'd hear you complain about having too much to eat, sweetheart," A puff of laughter escaped his Mum's lips. Leo barely hid a smile as did Bryce while Alison snorted. "Anyway, we'll be having guests."

"Oh, who?" Alison asked, stirring the contents of one of the pots on the stove.

"That's a secret."

"What?" All three said at once as two sets of blue eyes and one of brown fell on the older woman.

"It's a surprise and I'm not saying anything else," Mum said and turned to Leo. "Can you get the good dishes from the cupboard in the living room, darling? The set of blue plates: all eight of them."

They couldn't get other information from her, so the three younger Fitz went back to their rooms. Leo send a text to Jemma, telling of his mother and was quickly rewarded by her message where she was just as curious as he was about these mysterious guests.

After a quick lunch with his family, Leo was in his room again, reading. He sent a text to Jemma, asking what she was doing.

And she didn't answer.

He thought that she could be busy with Christmas preparation so he didn't think about it too much. He checked his phone every now and then but still no answer.

It was almost six o'clock on Christmas Eve and Leo felt his festive spirit lost somewhere beneath his feet.

He felt hollowed out and moody.

Jemma hadn't replied.

He knew that he shouldn't be feeling like this but he couldn't help it. The wave of disappointment rolled over him along with a hint of sadness.

'She's busy,' he thought. 'It's perfectly normal... It's not that she doesn't care...'

Because she did. If there was one thing he clearly knew after his freshman year at MIT was that Jemma cared for him.

No one else had ever bothered to stay by his side when he was mulling over his darkest thoughts (his Dad, his family, his loneliness, his difference); no one stayed in silence, waiting for him to speak or tried to ease the pain with a gentle touch or hug.

Or by spending the night by his bedside, on a chair or sitting on a corner of his bed, holding his hand, dispersing his nightmares.

When his nightmares over his Dad had gotten worse in April, Jemma had appeared in his room without his knowledge. It was only on the third night, when he awoke with a shuddering gasp that he found her asleep by his side, hand still latched on to his.

Had it been anyone else, he would have been tense or embarrassed, but this was Jemma. He had moved away after arranging her body more comfortably on the bed and draped a blanket over her.

When they woke up in the morning, Jemma blushed and rambled nervously, not quite making eye contact with him, as they found themselves sprawled in bed, close together.

Leo had blushed too but he had smiled at her gratefully. It was the first night of that long week that he actually slept for a good amount of hours.

Leo let out a long breath through his teeth and rummaged through his wardrobe to get dressed for dinner. He pulled out some trousers, a shirt and his favourite green jumper.

'This is ridiculous,' he thought as he got dressed.

It had been barely three days since he'd last seen Jemma, not even five hours since he'd last heard from her through texts and he was missing her like crazy.

If having a friend meant this much and meant going through some form of withdrawal when apart, he'd have to admit that it was wonderful and tortuous all together...

He wondered when they'd become so codependent though...

The sound of tires on gravel broke his musings and Leo turned to look out of his window. His room was the only one facing onto the front lawn: he used to like it a lot when he was child, always getting to know before anyone else if someone was coming to visit them.

Suddenly remembering the secret guests his mother had talked about, he peeked out of the window, the little hint of curiosity perking him up a bit.

It was dark but the light coming from the street and his house, glowed on the grey car that parked in front of their gate. He squinted slightly, trying to make out the people inside the car but it was still difficult to see past the darkness and hazy forms.

There were four people, two in the front and two behind. One of the people in the back seat was an elderly woman, he guessed, given the grey-white hair.

The car doors opened and a figure, smaller than the others and definitely more agile, jumped out.

And Leo recognised the caramel hair peeking out of the wool knit hat before she looked up and saw him. She smiled and eagerly waved a mittened hand at him.

Leo froze for a moment, unsure and completely unable to take in the image before him.

What...?

How..?

But then he reacted and before he knew what he doing, he ran out of his room, avoiding a direct collision with Bryce who was coming out of the study room.

"What the fu-?!" His brother growled but Leo ignored him and ran down the stairs. He skidded slightly on the last step, narrowly avoiding Alison who literally jumped back in surprise and dashed to the front door.

He yanked the heavy wooden door open and found himself looking at Jemma, standing in front of him with a beaming smile.

Leo was so unbelievingly surprised that he just stared at her for a moment, unable to say even one word as his mind was in overdrive with thoughts.

Was she really here?

Before he could wonder any further, he found himself with an armful of Jemma as she threw herself against him, arms winding around his neck. He stepped back precariously, one of his arms around her shoulder, the other around her waist, as he managed to balanced them both, without falling on the wooden floor.

And then he heard her voice in his ear.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She murmured frantically. "I wanted to answer your text but Mum took my phone away, saying that she didn't want to spoil my surprise. She told me that we'd be leaving after lunch and I didn't know a thing until I saw the city sign as we drove here. I was not ignoring you. I was not-"

Leo felt a rush of warmth at her words: relief and happiness mingled together. He gently tightened his embrace.

"I know," he whispered and he realised that he truly had known about it. It was his own insecurity that had made him doubt Jemma. He smiled. "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too," she whispered back and they broke their hug, still standing close to each other and smiling.

Leo noticed Jemma's parents behind her on the stoop, both smiling at him. Next to them was an elderly woman who, he guessed, had to be Jemma's maternal grandmother; he noticed that the woman had the same hazel eyes like Jemma.

And said set of eyes were fixed on him (and Jemma), wide open in surprise.

Leo heard footsteps behind him and suddenly remembered that his family must have assembled downstairs after the ruckus he'd made. He tilted his head and saw his sister standing by the staircase and his brother on the stairs, both looking at him with wide eyes.

His mother was right behind him, smiling.

It was Jemma that broke the awkwardness, walking into the house, taking off her hat and mittens, to shake his Mum's hand.

"I'm so pleased to see you again, Mrs. Fitz," she said with a warm smile. Leo noticed how her free hand, clutching her hat, was nervously gripping the fabric. "And thank you for your invitation."

After that, it was all a low murmur of voices as everyone introduced themselves.

Leo immediately looked at his mother as Jemma mentioned that she had invited the Simmons over and his Mum had merely smiled at him. The sort of smile that meant that everything was alright and that she knew what she was doing: she must have noticed that he missed his best friend...

Leo felt a rush of affection for her, a lump of emotion bobbing in his throat as he murmured a thanks to his Mum and received a warm smile again.

Alison greeted their guests with warmth and politeness while Bryce was a bit more edgy. Leo noticed how he shook hands with Jemma but eyed her coldly and he felt, for maybe the first time in his life, a little burst of annoyance and anger towards his brother. Jemma was not him: she didn't deserve his hatred only because she was Leo's friend.

It was Jemma's Grandmother, however, that eased the awkwardness of a group of people who didn't know each other and were going to spend Christmas Eve together.

Leo stood in front of her after offering a hand to shake and introducing himself. The familiar hazel eyes looked at him searchingly as she took his hand and he felt the strength of her grip beneath the papery skin and bony fingers.

He knew that Jemma loved her grandmother and her opinion was something that she always valued. Leo didn't want to be in her bad books for any reason.

He smiled slightly and stood still as she looked at him, sizing him up. He felt Jemma's eyes on him too, her shoulder barely brushing his from where she was standing.

"So, you are the famous Leo Fitz!" She proclaimed, her voice strong and musical. "I've heard a lot about you."

"I-I hope all good things, Ma'am," he remarked, slanting a glance at Jemma who smiled and nodded. "Jemma speaks a lot about you too."

Elizabeth Simmons smiled at him appreciatively before turning to look at her granddaughter with raised brows.

"Jemma, darling?" She asked. "Why didn't you say that your polite and brilliant boyfriend was also such a charming looker?

"Gran! He's not my-" Jemma blurted out. Leo, face flaming, looked at her and saw how she was blushing furiously too. "He's my best friend!"

It seemed that his family wasn't the only one implying that they were more than friends...

"I know what I see," the older woman stated and stared at them. "And I clearly see what's between the two of you."

Leo and Jemma shared a glance, both still flushed in face. He arched a brow in query and she shook her head in reply: there was no way that they could convince her grandmother of the completely platonic feelings between them.

"Mum, please, don't fluster the children," Mrs Simmons said, approaching her. "It's Christmas."

The evening went on pleasantly. Leo learned that his Mum had called Mrs Simmons and the two women had concocted the plan of the two families spending Christmas Eve and Christmas together.

The Simmons would have been at home, the four of them alone, so the idea of going to Glasgow for two days had appealed to the adults and they all kept it from Jemma, eager to surprise her.

It seemed that Jemma had been moody and quiet at home too. Leo stared at her when he heard this and she just looked back at him, smiling uncertainly and shrugging slightly.

Of course... She must have felt the same way he did.

The Fitz's old family house didn't have a guest room. The once free room was on the ground floor and had long become his mother's bedroom since she couldn't go upstairs. The room that had been his parents' had been turned into a sort of storeroom. Most of his Dad's things were still there.

No one had ever had the heart to clear the room out...

The Simmons had booked a few rooms in the small inn down the road from Leo's house: it belonged to an old friend of theirs, Mr. Yeats.

However, Leo was surprised when Mrs Simmons said that Jemma would be staying with them in his house. It seemed that their mothers had made a rather intricate plan that also included Leo going to Sheffield after his birthday.

With Jemma.

Jemma would be staying with them and then would leave with him by train.

Leo was to move the spare bed into his room for Jemma; if they didn't want to share, then one of them could take the couch.

Leo had almost voiced out loudly that he would take the couch -mostly because his sister was shooting him a teasing glance- but then he saw the look on Jemma's face. It was the sort of look that dared him to do something that she didn't approve of.

There was no way he would get past her on that: he knew her enough to know that she would never allow him to give her his room.

Oh well... That meant that they would be roommates for the holidays...

It was odd how the thought made him slightly nervous but enormously giddy. He never had a friend over to his house...

That night, after a hearty dinner and pleasant conversations, everyone dispersed around the house as they waited for midnight to open the presents together.

Leo moved the spare bed into his room, helped by Mr Simmons and Alison (Bryce had been moody and disappeared in his room) and shortly after found himself alone with Jemma.

She was looking around his room, taking in the small gadgets he had built as a kid, his first blueprints taped next to his desk and the posters and books.

He was glad that he tidied his room a bit: all of his clothes were piled on his desk chair and not scattered around.

Jemma's influence was rubbing off on him...

"Is that-?" She pointed out to a wide, white square-like object on one of his shelves.

"-the solar powered battery?" He finished. "Yes."

She grinned at him. He felt oddly happy that she still remembered the project he had mentioned when they first met in London.

"Does it work now?"

"Mostly...although I have to find a better cooling system."

"We could work on that together, if you want to. You know... A fresh set of eyes to see the blueprints. Try some new ideas..."

He beamed. She often helped him when he was working on something at MIT and he did the same for her; they usually came up with solutions to initially complicated problems.

"Of course, I'd like that." He approached her and she smiled before turning to survey his room again. He saw her eyes linger on a small, metal trophy cup that was dented on its side: the prize from the last science fair he had gone to. The day his Dad died.

She slanted a glance at him, asking a silent question and he nodded. She smiled softly, brushing a hand against his hand: she knew the whole story by now and knew how much it still hurt him.

He sat on his bed as she walked around and Leo felt something twist in his chest.

This was his childhood room, the room where he spent days tinkering on his own, reading alone or crying when he needed to vent.

Having Jemma here was like meshing his new life in America and his old life.

He realised that his new life started the day he met her.

He wondered if his new life had started because he had met her.

"Oh, look, Leo!" Jemma hurried to his window. "It stopped snowing."

He got up and passed their beds (her bed was aligned to his, a mere inches separated them) and stood by her side. The front lawn and street were covered by a thick layer of snow.

He looked at her, taking in her enthusiast face and smiled. She looked at him with an arched brow.

"What?" She asked.

"We're going to go out and build the traditional Simmons Christmas Eve snowman, aren't we?" He grinned at her, keeping the tease light in his tone.

Jemma blushed slightly and swatted his arm.

"Oh, because you didn't enjoy making the three monkeys last year."

"I did...but so did you."

"Do you think it's too late though? It's almost ten o'clock..."

"We can go out in the back porch: there's plenty of light there coming from the house, the street and, if we need it, I can turn on the light from our old tool shed."

Jemma's smile made his thoughts about being teased by Alison disappear from his head.

When they bundled themselves with coats, gloves and scarves and built the most classic of snowmen, Leo realised that he hadn't felt so lighthearted at home since his Dad had been alive.

When they got back, chilled to the bone but grinning, their mums ushered them in front of the fireplace and handed them a mug of hot chocolate as they say down on the couch.

Leo quickly grabbed two mint candy canes from the sweet bowl on the little table in front of them and offered her one. Jemma smiled, the memory of them drinking the same beverage last Christmas in their dorm still fresh in their minds.

-:-

"I like your home and family," Jemma said softly.

Leo turned to her: he could only make out the outline of her in the darkness as they lay on their beds, a faint hint of light streaming through the curtains at his window.

It was past one in the morning and they had all gone to bed after having exchanged gifts; the Simmons long gone for the inn.

"You do?" He asked, his voice loud in the silence.

"Yeah. Your house is very warm...and homey. And your mother and sister are wonderful: I like both of them." She paused for a moment. "I'm not entirely sure on what to think about your brother though..."

"Well, I'm not sure on what to think about him either," Leo sighed softly. "He's probably cold with you because you're my friend. Everything related to me is not good for him... Sorry about that..."

He felt her move and didn't even jump when he felt her fingers on his arm, curling softly around his bicep.

"Don't apologize, Leo. It's all him and nothing concerning you."

"Hmm."

After a moment of silence, her hand still on him, Leo turned to her again: he could almost see her eyes now that he was getting used to the darkness.

"Your parents were really nice to get me that set of screwdrivers," It was the sort of compact, portable set that came handy during labs or when he didn't want too many tools hanging around his workplace.

It was the sort of expensive set that he would have bought after saving money for a while. He never mentioned it to Jemma but she must have noticed him looking at it when they were out at the store and she must've passed it along to her parents.

"I'm glad: they really wanted to get you something nice," Jemma laughed softly. "I think they wanted to thank you for being my friend. For sticking with me." Her fingers drew small circles on his bicep. "The handmade scarf, gloves and hat your Mum made me are beautiful."

"She must have been working on them way before she and you Mum decided to celebrate Christmas all together," His Mum was an outstanding seamstress but even she couldn't be that fast to make those precise and detailed garments. "I think she's happy that you're my friend too."

"Did you tell her that I like lavender flowers? She had them embroidered on the scarf and hat."

"I don't remember, really..." He felt his face flush slightly. He did. Once. Trust his mum to remember that...

"Hmm..." Something about her tone hinted that she didn't believe him.

They stayed in silence for another while and Leo was sure that she was asleep when she spoke again, voice low and sleepy.

"I'm really happy that we celebrated Christmas together again, Leo," she confessed and he felt her finger make lines on his arm. It felt as though she was drawing a star, then the outline of a Christmas tree and then something he couldn't define.

"Me too, Jemma," he said, looking at her. He made out her smile now. "It wouldn't have been the same."

"No..." She was drawing a candy cane now. "Thank you for the full collection of Sherlock Holmes books. I love the stories."

"I like them: I imagined that you would too. Well... Thank you for the sonic screwdriver replica."

"I did promise you more Doctor Who memorabilia..."

They laughed softly, sleep making their voices thick and low.

"I'll show you around Glasgow while you're here," he promised, closing his eyes.

"Hmm...and when we'll be at my house, we'll go to that exhibit together." Her tone was drowsy but there was still a hint of anticipation that made him smile softly. "And I'll make you visit Sheffield."

"Alright..."

Leo felt a burst of warmth in his heart, mingling with excitement and anticipation. The thought of spending more time with Jemma and going out and doing things that they had started to do at MIT here at home, made him feel elated.

"Goodnight, Leo," she whispered and he felt her hand squeeze his arm.

"Night, Jemma," he answered.

As he drifted off, Leo remembered how lonely he had felt a few years ago. How even Christmas didn't lighten up his mood.

He couldn't thank his lucky stars enough for putting Jemma in his life.

He wasn't alone anymore.

-:-

-20 years- (Before 20 years old in Tis the Season)

Fitz opened his dorm room's door with a huff and tossed his bag on the floor, next to a pair of discarded jeans and a sweatshirt. He swore under his breath when he noticed that a side of the bag was soaked and a liquid trickle had leaked on the floor.

He plopped down on his bed after grabbing a towel from a drawer in his wardrobe and started to dry his hair.

Bloody Senior Cadets and their pranks...

He was walking to the cafeteria, after his class of Aerospace Mechanics, when he heard a sudden whirring sound above him. When he looked up, he found himself staring at a miniaturized replica of a first generation helicarrier.

He barely had time to notice a few discrepancies in the external body and some unaligned components when the model's cargo ramp opened and he found himself drenched with freezing water.

Spluttering, Fitz looked to his side and saw a group of cadets guffawing and high fiving each other; one of them was holding a remote control.

He recognised them as some of the senior cadets that were specialising in electronics and mechanics. He had seen them on campus, surrounded by people.

It seemed that there was some sort of tradition at Sci-tech concerning freshmen: they were bound to be pranked by the older cadets.

One month at the Academy and Leo was hating it.

It might be better as a facility, with better technology and labs and more interesting study subjects but he had lost so much more.

It wasn't just the pranking that reminded him of school in Scotland or the older cadets that looked at him -one of the youngest cadets at Sci-tech- as a little kid who wanted to play adult.

His whole relationship with Jemma had been jeopardized.

And it was his fault.

He had listened to Bryce's venomous words, giving in to some hidden doubt he didn't know he had.

He had thought that he was selfish in wanting to stay in America and go to some specialised school (as he later explained to his family because he couldn't tell them about SHIELD) while his married sister worked and took care of their mother along with his brother; he was only thinking about himself, forgetting his mother and family.

And that was the reason that got him to tell Jemma that he wouldn't go to the Academy with her. And that he would be staying in Glasgow.

But Jemma hadn't accepted it: they had argued on the phone (she was at home in Sheffield and he in Glasgow) and then she had taken the first train and forced him to see her.

They had argued again, heatedly for the first time since they met, but her words had knocked some sense in him, made him see past the wall of guilt and doubt that his brother had built around him.

"What do you really want, Leo?"

Her question had startled him out his stupor. He thought about his dreams, about making his Dad proud of him and... her. She had long become a steady part of his life.

He didn't want to leave her.

"Is this how it ends then? Are we just going to say goodbye and...that's that?"

Jemma's voice had been soft and shaky with tears as he just stared at her, not saying anything. She must have thought that he was adamant in his decision and that she had lost the battle.

If he hadn't made his mind before, the look on her face in that moment just did it for him. And he crumbled in tears, confessing that he did want to go with her and that he wanted to go to the Academy even though it made him a selfish son and brother.

Jemma had listened to him, cried with him and they had come up with a solution to everything. Together. As they always had.

It would have been perfect, the perfect ending to their fight and the start of their new adventure together.

But his treacherous mind replayed their argument in his head until he imagined the scenario of him in the UK and she in America in vivid detail.

He imagined her finding new friends and learning new things. He imagined her becoming more distant from him, intellectually and physically. Phone calls and emails suddenly becoming less frequent...

And he imagined his place been taken by someone else. Some other friend, lab partner...lover.

Something snapped inside him.

It felt as though a spring that had been coiling inside him for a few years had given away.

At eighteen, he started noticing Jemma as a pretty girl and not just his best friend... They had gone on a trip together and he had been foolishly jealous and hurt her feelings. And then they mutually shared their first kiss. They never talked about it again, blaming it to being mildly drunk.

At nineteen, he realised that his feelings for her were not completely platonic. They had been at his sister's wedding and everything had been fine until Bryce's friends taunted him. Andrew and James had bullied him through secondary school and when he heard James mention that he wouldn't mind having his way with Jemma and made other crude comments, Leo had reacted with his fists. He never told Jemma why he got into a fight that day, at his sister's wedding reception.

Jemma had kissed him then; when she was tending his injured lip and cheek, she kissed him slowly and he had responded softly. Again, they didn't talk about it but let it seem as though it was just a way to spite Bryce who was spying on them.

And less than two months ago, after their fight, he kissed Jemma. There was nothing platonic, friendly or anything that he could blame for that.

He kissed her with all the want and heat he had. And she had kissed him back.

Leo couldn't forget the taste of Jemma's lips or the feeling of her body under his hands as they roamed through her hair and down her back. Her hands hadn't been idle either.

But just as suddenly as the kiss (snog actually) started, it stopped. They had both hesitated at some point, both realised where all of this was going and hesitated.

Was this sudden step forward worth the risk of destroying their friendship?

No.

They stopped, literally jumped away from each other breathless and wide eyed. And they babbled about scrambled emotions and the fear of losing each other.

Even then, he knew that they weren't entirely honest to each other but he gladly accepted the excuse.

He cared for Jemma. Deeply.

And he knew that his feelings were not entirely friendly. Despite his lack of friends, even he knew that best friends didn't kiss or make out at some point.

He had been terrified to admit that though. It would mean changing everything between them.

And he didn't know if he was ready for that, He didn't know if his feelings were that strong.

Jemma seemed to share his same doubts.

They had gone back home and came back to America, feigning that nothing had changed. They were still best friends and nothing would change that but they both realised that something was off between them.

There was a hint of edginess, something that made eye contact impossible or a brushed touched scorching.

Leo had hoped that it would disappear once they started at the Academy. He expected their usual routines to help them overcome the sudden edginess in their always easy friendship.

He didn't know about the Academy' rules and protocols though.

He had expected it to be similar to MIT but it wasn't.

When he and Jemma had come over to Seattle, suitcases and bags in hand, they found a very distinct and elegant woman with a British accent to greet them.

She introduced herself as Agent Weaver and welcomed them to Sci-Tech and gave them a tour of the buildings and campus. It was only days later that they learned that she was the Director of Sci-Tech and had personally come to pick them up because they were the youngest and, presumably, brightest cadets to date.

During their tour, Leo had been fascinated by the structure and its labs: just looking from the outside, made him realise that the technology and tools here were advanced and beyond anything he had used before.

He imagined the things he could create... Devices he could built. The possibilities were innumerable. Leo glanced at Jemma and saw her eyes wide in enthusiasm and when she looked at him, they both shared a grin.

But then Agent Weaver brought them to a large building on the back and gestured to Leo to go inside.

"Your room is number 204," she said with a smile. "The key's attached to the door."

Leo blinked. Twice.

His room?

He glanced at Jemma who looked as alarmed as he did. They really hadn't thought about this... but he had assumed, since they had been recruited together that...

"Is there anything wrong, Cadet Fitz?"

"I was wondering..." He cleared his throat as she referred to him as cadet. "Is there a chance to have a double dorm room?"

Agent Weaver looked at him oddly and her eyes flitted from him to Jemma who flushed pink but held her gaze.

"Do you know anything about Section 17, one of SHIELD's fundamental rules?" She asked, voice soft but very clear.

"No," they replied together after sharing a glance.

"Did you pose this question to your recruiter? Agent Avery?"

"No..." Leo almost slapped himself. Of course, he could have asked from the start; maybe they had to apply for a double room and-

"I see...Did you share a dorm room at MIT?"

"Yes, Agent Weaver," Jemma replied. "We've shared since freshmen year."

Agent Weaver's eyes softened slightly.

"I'm sorry...but double dorm rooms are available only for the senior cadets that apply for them. All freshmen are assigned single rooms. This-" She gestured to the building. "-is the Engineering wing. The Biochemistry one is a bit further."

Leo's eyes widened. Not only a single room...but a different building?

They couldn't ask or do anything at this point: Agent Weaver's stance and words didn't allow them to retort. Leo looked at Jemma and saw his own turmoil in her eyes. He managed a small smile for her sake.

"See you later," he said, picking up his bag. She nodded, smiling uncertainly and followed the other woman.

It took them a few weeks to understand this regulation at Sci-Tech. It was actually a rule at all the Academies.

SHIELD valued individuality and cooperation in his agents. And this was something that the cadets learned early on, starting from their living space.

So, Operations cadets who tended to work on their own most of the time, had single rooms for all their four years. They learned of teamwork during class or field training.

Data and Analysis cadets were the opposite: they thrived in cooperation. The dormitories were made of multiple bunks rooms: three or four cadets together who shared a living space. Miniature teams that worked together.

Sci-Tech was a bit more peculiar. The first two years were about the individual: the cadet had to specialise in his field, find his strong point. So, the younger agents were settled into single rooms.

During senior years, most of the classes included labs and projects that required cooperation: partnerships were born in these years and the strongest and most reliable carried on after the Academy and on to Sci-Ops.

Some cadets applied for double room when they were working on particular projects with their partners, when the need for constant feedback was vital and some of these inventions had helped teams out in the field.

Leo sighed and tossed the towel away on his chair, grabbing a dry shirt. He tugged off his soaked one, dropping it on the floor.

A sudden knock on the door startled him.

"Fitz?" Only one person would come to see him.

"Just a moment," he said, buttoning his shirt on and then opened the door. Jemma was standing there, bag on her shoulder and a frown on her face.

"Hey, Simmons," He smiled and let her inside.

And of course, this.

One week at the Academy and they had stopped calling each other by name. The odd looks they received by the other cadets and a particular nasty professor who questioned them about fraternizing, had made them wonder if they were doing something wrong.

And they learned of Section 17.

SHIELD prohibited any sort of non-platonic relationship between agents. There were very few exceptions from this rule and they had to be authorized by a SHIELD commission.

The Academy didn't prohibit fraternization but it was frowned upon. It did make some sense: why attempt to build a relationship and graduate from the Academy if working for SHIELD would be impossible for one or both together?

Jemma and Leo hadn't talked about it but they started using their surnames ever since.

Fitz couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if that kiss between them had evolved into more. What would they have done once they learned of Section 17 if they had been in a relationship? Would they have broken up to stay at the Academy or would they have kept it secret, defying the rules?

He would never know…

The only thing he knew was that they were drifting apart.

And he didn't know how to fix it.

"What happened?" Simmons asked, eyeing the soaked shirt and bag on the floor and his damp hair.

"Mech cadets," he replied, picking up his bag and cursing as he found the inside wet too. "They thought it would be fun to unload a model helicarrier's worth of water on me."

"Oh," She frowned again and sat on his bed. He started emptying the contents of the bag on the floor.

"You got my text?"

"Yeah...I came here immediately. I was worried when I didn't see you at the cafeteria and then you wrote that you were skipping lunch and going to your dorm."

"Sorry.." he whispered, looking up at her apologetically. She shook her head and smiled slightly.

"I brought you this," She pulled out a packed sandwich. "Ham and cheese: the most edible looking thing I could find."

"Thanks, Simmons," He took the sandwich, opened it and took a bite: he was famished. "You ate already?"

She nodded. Silence fell between them but it wasn't comfortable: there was always a little edge of uneasiness whenever they were alone.

He hated it.

Leo quickly ate his sandwich and wiped his mouth with the paper napkin wrapped around it.

"You've got class now?" He asked, eyeing the soggy mess on the floor that were his books, notes and bag content.

"Yeah..." Simmons replied. "Astrophysics and then Extraterrestrial Microbiology. Then, I'm free for the weekend."

"Oh..." He frowned slightly. He was free now and had a few lab sessions until late evening. Thanks to this accident, he had missed the few moments that they could spend together. Between classes (they did have most together but they couldn't really talk) and the Academy's midnight curfew, it was rare for them to spend some quality time together.

He didn't even remember when they last saw a movie together...

She stared at him: he knew that she must have understood what he was thinking. He arched a brow.

"What?"

"You never told me what Professor Olsen said when you announced that you wanted to quit Astrophysics..."

"I didn't quit," he huffed as he sorted his notes, mumbling curses. "Damn, my Aerodynamics notes are done for..." He straightened up and turned to her. "The class was boring: I've covered most of that stuff at Uni and I've already learned the things that I didn't know."

The classes at the Academy were specific for every cadet and his field of work and most of them were mandatory in freshmen year. Fitz had been bored out of his mind during the first week of these classes, having thoroughly learned the topics at MIT.

After spending hours, doodling on his notebook, outlining devices that popped in his mind and attempting to strike conversation with Jemma (who glared, hushing him because 'We're in class and I'm taking notes and there's no way you're getting me reprimanded!'), he decided to talk with Professor Olsen; after effectively showing that he did know the subject and wasn't being overly cocky, he was granted a reprieve.

"I'll do the report that he asked for mid term evaluation and then I'll go and do the exam," Fitz remarked, tossing his drenched notes into the dustbin.

"Oh…"

"And he actually told me that I could go and follow another class in the meantime… He suggested Chemical Kinetics with Professor Hall."

"That's a second year class."

"Yeah…" he turned to look up at her. "So? When has that ever been a problem?" He had long forgotten what it meant to follow his year's classes.

She rolled her eyes at him and picked at a stray thread line on his comforter with her finger. He noticed how her other hand was clenching and fidgeting.

Something was bothering her…

"What's wrong?" He asked, sitting up.

"Are you planning to graduate early again?" Her question is soft and tentative and something twisted in his chest.

"Well… I've being doing that my entire life," he admitted. "And the subjects we're studying here are more interesting but...they're not exactly difficult, no?" He looked at her and saw her nod; of course she knew: he had seen her absently draw in her notebook during Chemistry and Biology Basics. "You know how I get when I'm bored in class: you've seen me before."

"You get distracted, do other things, try to get me to talk to you... You drive the professor and the rest of the class insane with your out of the box questions." She was smiling as she said this and he chuckled.

"Yeah...and I started doodling designs and people started to think that I'm a nutter."

The rumours had started a few weeks ago.

Some of the cadets in the Engineering wing must have started them: he had most of his classes with them and someone must have seen the designs he drew when the lessons weren't interesting.

He had always been interested in vehicles and delivery mechanisms; once he had gotten his PhD, he had applied for a technical Masters through an engineering company in Boston (they allowed MIT post-grads to do an apprenticeship there) and had really worked with machines.

But ever since he had been recruited by SHIELD, his interest had shifted. SHIELD was an agency that defended people from any menace.

Defended peace.

And after meeting their recruiter, his brilliant and over-reactive mind, couldn't overcome the fact that an agency that defended world wide peace at any cost, would allow its agents to use guns.

Deadly, heavy and non peace-bringing weapons.

Fitz had started studying the mechanisms behind weapons and had started to outline a few designs of guns that didn't use gunpowder bullets.

He had talked about this idea to Simmons during a Sunday afternoon they had spent together and she had been taken by his idea, suggesting the use of sedatives. She had promised to think about it and give him some feedback.

"You're not a nutter," Simmons huffed, looking at him. "You're only working on projects on your own, things that most of them-" She pointed vaguely at his soaked bag, referring to the senior cadets that had pranked him. "-don't even know how to start thinking about."

Leo felt a blush invade his face as she subtly complimented him. He looked away as he rummaged through his bag again, taking out the books and notes that hadn't been ruined before getting up to hang the bag to dry on his chair.

He turned around, catching her staring at him before she averted her gaze to his comforter again. Swallowing a sigh, he sat back down next to her.

"Didn't you ever think of graduating early?" He asked quietly. She looked up at him.

"I did," she replied. "I was thinking about getting a reprieve in some of the chemistry and biology courses: I know most of the topics by heart."

He grinned at her.

"I was right then: you do you like homework more than life itself,." he teased. She scoffed and swatted his arm with her hand. He laughed softly and she joined him. Leo's heart soared: it felt like old times again...

She looked at him again, eyes peeking from under her lashes as she smiled and Leo had to ignore the sudden thump in his chest and twist in his stomach.

They were friends. Best friends.

Only friends.

He had to keep that in mind. There was no way that he was going to ruin their friendship because he didn't know how to sort out his feelings...

He wanted everything to go back to what it was before. And even though he knew that there had always been the possibility for them to be more than just friends, he wasn't brave enough to take that step forward.

He wasn't brave enough to tell her that his feelings might be shifting and face the possibility of losing her.

He wanted to fix the rift between them.

"I've gone through the syllabus many times," he said. "If I'm not mistaken, that Advanced Chemistry class you're taking allows you to follow Chemical Kinetics."

"Really?" She asked, eyebrows shooting into her hair. "I wanted to go and speak with Professor Lang about it: I've covered most of his class' topics before my doctorates."

"It would be fun, no? We'd do the exams during the autumn-winter session and we'd be done with our freshmen and second year before Christmas. And, in the meantime, we can follow the advanced classes."

Simmons smiled, standing up.

"That sounds awesome," she remarked. "We could start doing real lab work and not just the simple simulations we're doing now."

"Yeah... and get to work with more advanced instruments. I'm dying to work with the Holocom."

"Someone's eager about Holographic Engineering..." She grinned, straightening her bag's strap on her shoulder.

"Why, aren't you?" The class was mandatory for all cadets and they had both loved the theory lessons.

"Not as much as you..." she teased and he rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "I should go: Astrophysics is on the other side of campus."

"Alright..." He stood up with her, after scooping up the cloths on the floor and tossing them on his chair.

"You should buy a hamper," she said, arching a brow. "How you can be such a slob when you're so precise in the lab is beyond me..."

"I'm not a slob!"

"I beg to differ..."

He huffed as she chuckled softly. His mind wandered to their old dorm room: she had placed her hamper in the bathroom so that both could put in the dirty clothes in; then they'd take the lot to the laundry room together.

Their timetables were so different that scheduling something was quite impossible. He was glad that they managed to have lunch and dinner together most of the times.

Simmons must have thought the same because she bit her lip and averted her gaze, one of her clear nervous traits.

Leo swallowed dryly. He'd been studying the syllabus and Sci-tech's rules and regulations quite thoroughly lately and there was one thing that he wanted her to know.

He hoped that she would agree... That she wanted this as much as he did.

"Jemma..." he whispered and she turned around abruptly, eyes wide. He smiled softly: it's more than a month since he'd called her that.

"If we manage to take all the freshmen exams during the autumn sessions and most of the second year ones before the end of the semester during winter session, we... we'd be officially third year cadets. Seniors." He looked at her and saw her staring at him. "I asked around a bit and... there's still one double dorm room available."

He let his words hang between them, allowed them to sink in and he watched as her eyes widened again as she understood his unsaid question.

Her fingers clutched her dark blue bag strap as she opened her mouth to talk before she pursed her lips immediately and looked away.

Something froze inside Leo.

Were they already so far gone? Had he messed it up so badly with that one, single moment of irrationality?

Maybe, he was wrong. He had been the only one to yearn to go back to their old normalcy...

"If you want to, of course," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets, ignoring the sudden weight in his chest and the voice in his head (that seemed unsurprisingly like Bryce) that murmured that he was such a stupid fool to think she would want to get closer to him again. "I-I mean... it was just a suggestion but- but if you don't-"

"No, I do!" Simmons exclaimed making him look up. A little bit of hope bloomed inside him.

"You do?"

She looked as though she wanted to walk towards him and hold him, hug him. It was something that she would have done a few months ago.

Instead, she moved her hands to her neck - typical trait when she was upset. Leo felt his heart drop.

But then she looked at him and smiled. Her eyes were apologetic as though she knew that she was giving him mixed signals but her smile was true.

Honest like the first time they met.

"Yes," she replied, slowly moving her hands away. He smiled back, feeling a bit more at ease than he had been in weeks.

"I should go... Professor Olsen doesn't like being disturbed during lessons by late cadets." She shifted her bag on her shoulder and looked at him. "See you for dinner, yeah?"

"Pizza?" He asked. He could go to the pizzeria nearby after his last lab.

"You know the toppings I like. My room?"

"I'll be there at eight."

"See you later, Fitz."

"Bye Simmons."

As she disappeared behind the closed door, Leo realised that this was a start. Things would be good again.

-:-

Weeks later, the rumours about two genius freshmen cadets started going around the halls of Sci-Tech. Students and professors started to hear and talk about Fitz and Simmons. More than once the two were mistaken to be one person and the name FitzSimmons started to be heard more frequently.

Leo was getting used to it by now.

He and Jemma had more classes together now that they were slowly dropping their most boring classes for more advanced ones. They were getting to learn more interesting subjects, work in fully equipped labs and getting time to experiment on their own and work on personal projects.

At MIT, they shared few classes and even rarer labs but they quickly realised that they worked extremely well together. At the Academy, they did every lab together and got full marks on the tests.

Some of their professors encouraged them to work on extracurricular projects. Professor Hall, in particular, told them that if their work was valid and useful for SHIELD, they could be assigned to the same facility, perhaps the same lab, once they graduated.

Both he and Jemma had shared the same unbridled enthusiasm as they poured over their books, discussing theories and bickering over experiments. They had learned early on that engineering and biochemistry were oddly compatible. Fitz's blueprints started to include biological and chemical elements while Simmons' notes were littered with referrals to possible delivery mechanisms.

Fitz was happy to spend all the hours that he wasn't in class with Simmons; whether it was in one of their rooms, the study halls or the library, he felt at ease when he was with her.

And she seemed to be feeling the same.

But Leo couldn't shake off the feeling that they had somehow stepped back to a place that looked liked the initial stage of their friendship when they rambled about science and were shining with enthusiasm but didn't delve further into knowing each other; little fears, doubts and shyness stopping them.

Now, however, they knew each other too much.

Leo had noticed how he seemed to overthink...everything. The little things he would do without thinking (holding her bag out, putting a hand behind her back while they walked together or brushing her hand) were now actions that he would deliberately think about, wondering if he would cause her annoyance.

And Simmons always noticed it because she would look at him with a stare that made his stomach swoop low before looking away, pink dusting her cheeks.

She seemed to be struggling with similar thoughts as well. Last night, as they walked back to her dorm room after a late study session in the library, Fitz had caught Simmons staring at him.

Under the moonlight and dim lights of the campus, her amber eyes shone golden. Fitz had to swallow whatever emotion swelled in his throat as he looked back at her, smiling uncertainly.

Simmons' eyes had a look that he couldn't decipher but, before he could ask anything, she looked away.

How did they even reach this point?

They were reaching an almost seamless studying/working partnership but their personal relationship was drilled with small holes that they couldn't fill up.

Fitz sighed, shaking his head to dismiss his thoughts, and walked down one of the corridors leading to Agent Weaver's office. He and Simmons had been summoned to see her after their morning classes.

He really didn't know the reason behind this sudden meeting. He wondered if Weaver was going to say something about their fast race through classes and exams.

He was rummaging in his jacket's pocket searching for his phone, expecting to find a text from Simmons asking him where he was. They had had different classes today: one of the few in their selection and his professor had drawn the lesson a bit longer, answering some last minute questions.

Fitz was almost jogging when he turned around a corner, eyes on his phone's screen when he crashed into another person.

Cursing under his breath as he managed to keep his phone in his hand and taking a step back to steady himself, Leo looked in front of him. He had literally walked into some girl and made her drop her bag and books.

"Sorry," he apologized, crouching down to pick up a thick tome -Advanced Molecular Biology, he read in his mind, recognising a class Simmons had taken and ditched since she knew it by heart- and handed it to her.

The girl smiled broadly, making Leo feel slightly confused. Shouldn't she be mad at him for colliding with her? He really didn't understand girls in general; his sister and Simmons were the closest to him and despite knowing them for years, they still baffled him at times.

Leo Fitz had long learned that the female universe was big mystery that he yet had to unravel.

"Oh, don't worry," she said, picking up her bag and taking the book from his hand with a thanks. She looked at him oddly: Leo felt a little warm around his neck. "You're Leo Fitz."

It was not a question...

"Yes," he said curtly, feeling defensive. He might have grown older and slightly more confident but he was still weary of new people. He looked at the girl in front of him. She was probably a few years older than him with black hair and brown eyes. She was not bad looking either...

Leo flushed slightly at the thought.

The girl smiled again, making him feel even warmer. He should leave.

Immediately.

"I... -er... should go," he stammered slightly and she nodded, smile still on her face.

"Sure," she said. "I'm Amy by the way..." Right, he hadn't even bothered to introduce himself or ask her name. Leo could almost hear his mother and sister scolding him in his ears. "See you around. We could have a drink in the Boiler Room?"

Leo blinked. Twice.

Was that a question?

Before he could reply or say anything, Amy walked off, shooting him another smile and odd glance.

Wondering about the oddity that were women, Fitz turned around to walk to Agent Weaver's office and noticed that Simmons was standing in the middle of the hallway and looking at him.

She must have been standing there for a while, waiting for him...and she must have seen his run in with the biology girl. Her eyes were fixed on him and held a searching look that he couldn't understand.

"Hey, Simmons," he greeted her with a smile. "Sorry, I'm late."

She shook her head and stood straighter. The look on her face disappeared so quickly that he wondered if he had imagined it.

"I've just arrived," she replied with a small smile and they both walked to the the office. They shared a glance before Fitz knocked on the door and they were both told to come in.

-:-

They spent a few hours at the Boiler Room, later that night.

Both he and Simmons decided that they needed a break from their studies.

And Agent Weaver's words still swirled in Leo's brain.

As they got into her office, the older woman had shot them a look of exasperated amusement as she pointed to a pile of papers resting on her desk: all letters from their professors.

Some were recommendations for advanced classes, some were notes about them and some were official requests to become their S.O once out of the Academy.

He and Jemma shared a wide-eyed look at that.

"So..."Agent Weaver looked at them from her seat at the desk, clasping her hands under her chin. "I knew that you were both extraordinary bright but I never imagined that you would go through and finish your freshmen year merely two months after entering the Academy. At this rate, you'll be graduating next year, three years earlier than anyone else in SHIELD Academy's history."

Fitz had grinned at that statement, a trickle of pride going through him. He looked at Simmons who grinned back at him.

The following hour was all about their timetables and exams. Agent Weaver explained how they could take exams during the mid term sessions and proceed to follow classes in the meantime.

All in all, it was exactly how he and Simmons had planned it out.

If they followed their plans, they'd graduate by the middle of the following year.

It was only at the end of their meeting that the senior agent looked at them oddly. Leo recognised the look she had given them when they first met.

"Am I correct to assume that I will be receiving a request for the one available double dorm room from the two of you?" She asked, her gaze shifting to him and then to Simmons.

Leo felt a wave of warmth wash his face at Agent Weaver's knowing look.

'We're friends,' he reminded himself. 'Nothing else... Don't mess up and give her ideas...'

He looked at Simmons. Her face had taken a pink hint too but she nodded resolutely after glancing at him.

"Yes, Agent Weaver," she replied, voice soft but firm. Leo ignored the little twist in his chest and nodded too.

"I see," Agent Weaver's eyes didn't leave them. "And I presume you will work together once you graduate, right? I've seen some of your designs and prototypes. Taken singularly, they're very good. Put together, they blend and become outstanding. I've rarely seen engineering and biochemistry being so flexibly adapted to each other."

Fitz smiled and nodded. Agent Weaver sighed softly.

"Leo. Jemma."

Fitz blinked: it was the first time Agent Weaver called them by their first names. He saw Simmons' equally surprised face when he glanced at her.

Something told him that he wasn't going to like whatever the older agent was going to say...

And he didn't.

Fitz took a sip of his beer. Funnily enough, being twenty and not legal yet in America didn't stop the bartender from giving him and Simmons a beer: everyone knew them by now and he had expected to be given a soft drink. The boy at the bar was one of the seniors of the engineering wing and Leo had helped him recalibrate a bot; it seemed that the action had granted him and Simmons a couple of free drinks.

Fitz looked up from his seat, across the table and stared at Simmons, talking to a few girls from her dorm. She had always been the one, between them, to be more at ease with people. He watched her laugh at something and felt his heart constrict.

Agent Weaver had mentioned Section 17 again and while they both had tried to retort and repeat (for the hundredth time) that nothing romantic was going on between them, she had raised a hand to stop them.

"Section 17 is the only rule that protects SHIELD's operatives from themselves," she said and smiled slightly, seeing their perplexed expressions. "The Academy seems like a common school or university: cadets learn, go to classes, make friends and, in some cases, start relationships that could lead to romantic ones. It's normal..."

Fitz had to force himself from turning to look at Simmons and ignored the clench of his chest.

'Friends, friends, best friends...' he kept thinking to himself. His feelings were just...messed up and shuffled. Their fight and that kiss, the thought of being separated and then being just..off here at the Academy had scrambled his feelings for her. He knew that he cared for her, cared deeply.

But she was his best friend. Anything else would just unbalance them...

They just had to slip into their routines again, live together again and everything would be fine.

He never did well with changes...

The only change that he had willingly accepted was to leave home for MIT. It had been his way to escape.

And it had brought him Simmons—no, Jemma.

"Section 17 allows agents to have relationships as long as they're not in the same team or working space. That's not only for the sake of unity but also for safety purposes. Caring too much, loving a person, could bring to hasty reactions during a mission and it could lead to failure or death."

Fitz frowned slightly. They were scientists: they were bound to work in a lab -a secure, sterile and non-dangerous facility- where the only perils would be their experiments and chemical and mechanical compounds. He really didn't want to think of Simmons in a deadly situation. Nor himself.

Agent Weaver looked at him with a knowing glance.

"I know that you will be working in a Sci-Ops facility and not in the field," she remarked. "And since you're so brilliant, you could probably land at the Sandbox or at any of SHIELD's major facilities. I wouldn't be surprised if you ended up at the Triskelion in a few years..."

Leo flushed: the thought of being assigned to the main headquarter where Director Fury resided was mind blowing. He glanced at Simmons and she grinned.

"But you will become Agents of SHIELD," Agent Weaver continued. "Whether you are field operatives, scientists or data analysts, you will learn information about the agency. That knowledge puts us all in the condition of being hypothetical targets for terrorist organisations. The more you know, the more you do for SHIELD, the higher the risks..."

Fitz and Simmons shared an alarmed look.

"I'm not telling you this to scare you but I have to be honest with you and tell you what is outside the Academy. I usually have this talk with senior cadets but, since you will be seniors in a couple of months at the rate you're going, I imagined I could tell you now.

I am sure that you two will do a lot for SHIELD. You are brilliant and if these months at the Academy are an indicator of what you can do, I will hear your names being mentioned often," Agent Weaver smiled and her eyes softened. "If you want truly want to work together, be partners in a lab, I must tell you to keep Section 17 in your minds. Scientists might have slightly different regulations and there is a rule that allows fraternization between close partners but only after a commission has examined the case. But I have to tell you, the cases that have passed are very rare."

The little, unbidden bloom of hope that Leo felt in his chest shrivelled and died at Agent Weaver's words.

Leo sighed and took another swig of beer.

He had always known that there might be a possibility for he and Jemma to be more than friends. It had been a constant thought in the back of his mind, appearing every now and then and confusing the hell out of him. He realised shortly after their first kiss that their friendship was so tight and they were so symbiotic that if they got closer, it would only mean that they got together.

It was a possibility that held many wonderful aspects but was also frightening.

Terrifying if he actually thought of all the consequences if something were to go wrong.

He would lose her.

He could lose his best friend and Leo wasn't brave enough to take that step forward with that looming possibility at the end.

He looked at Simmons again. A boy was talking to her. He recognised him as one of the cadets of the Physics wing: they had followed a class together.

Leo ignored the hot surge of warmth in his gut and the instinct to stand up and tell the bloke to step away from her. He also had to fight the urge to stand and leave.

He had already done that mistake once and Leo Fitz was one that learned from past never wanted to see that distraught look on Simmons' face again.

Fitz lifted the beer to his lips again, swallowing the cool liquid and the lump of jealousy in his throat.

They had both told Agent Weaver that Section 17 wouldn't be an issue for them. They had said that they were friends, very close friends, and nothing more.

It was the truth after all, right?

Leo allowed his eyes to wander around the crowded Boiler room, skimming through known and unknown faces. He was sitting in booth in the corner, alone since Simmons had been called over to talk by those girls. His eyes fell on her again.

She was still talking to that bloke (Tyron, that was his name if he wasn't wrong...). He was leaning against the wall, looking straight at Simmons while she was talking to him amidst her friends. He noticed how she smiled shyly at him, tilting her head to the side as she talked. He seemed to be listening to her with a smile, hanging to every single word.

Leo recalled Alison and Alec at school and remembered a moment when he caught a glimpse of them talking in the hallways before they'd started going out together.

Jemma and that bloke looked a lot like them right now...

The guy was older than them: everyone in Sci-Tech was actually, but he had noticed how Simmons caught the other boys' attention.

He could easily admit that Simmons was a pretty girl... though he probably wouldn't say that out loud any more.

He wondered if Tyron would ask her out. The thought alone made a flare ignite in his stomach with the distinct need to approach them and do something ridiculously stupid like grab Simmons' hand and take her away.

Or kiss her.

Shaking his head from these horrible (and tempting) ideas, Leo looked around the room again and was startled to see the girl he had run over earlier, waving her hand at him.

He blinked, unsure on what to do and feeling warmth invade his face.

It occurred to him that ever since his thoughts about Simmons had started to be confusing, he had sort of stopped noticing any other female around him. He was male and clearly had eyes and a pretty girl didn't go unnoticed by him but he never really bothered to make them notice him or attempted a conversation.

It wasn't only because he was probably rubbish in sweet talking a girl...

His life was so entwined to Simmons that he didn't know how to be apart from her. They had grown up and experienced things together.

It had always been the two of them.

Leo had never thought of having another person by his side. Besides his family, he had Jemma. Why need someone else? Why even want another girl?

Perhaps that was his mistake...

He cared for her. Deeply. But he honestly didn't the depths of his feelings for her.

There might be a possibility that he loved her in a completely non platonic way as much as he just loved her in the most platonic way.

They were so close that even his feelings -his own heart- depended on her. And hers on him.

And these feelings were making them uncomfortable with each other. They didn't know how to deal with them: it wasn't an experiment that they could test and see if it was successful or not.

Failure would mean shattering them.

Perhaps what they needed was to step back from each, allow their hearts to beat and work on their own and not together.

Allow their feelings to settle down and clear up.

It would make them understand...

Leo looked at the Biology girl over his beer bottle. She was still looking at him as she talked to her small group of friends.

Maybe this was the only way to go back to what they were...

He lifted his bottle and smiled in salute. Amy the biologist beamed at him, waving again.

Fitz tried to ignore the guilty feeling weighing in his stomach...

He'd barely had another sip when Simmons slid in the booth again, taking the seat next to him. She was still nursing her beer and she looked at him oddly. He realised that it was the same searching look he she had given him earlier.

Leo wondered if she thought about them as much as he did...

"Having fun?" He asked, drinking again. His beer was almost gone.

Simmons smiled slightly.

"It's nice to unwind every now and then," she replied. "Studying every waking minute can be tiring."

He looked at her, concentrating on her face under the dim lights. She did look tired... A sudden thought crossed his mind.

"Please tell me that you're not pulling all nighters again," he said, turning to her completely, frowning slightly.

She had the habit of getting stressed during exams weeks. He had learned early on to never leave her alone and to go to sleep only after she was in bed. She had once gone without sleep for three days and had almost collapsed on him before taking an exam.

"I just stay up a little bit at night," she confessed. She looked at him and smiled. "Fitz, don't look so worried: I'm fine. Our schedules are insanely busy and I just need some hours at night to review."

"You need sleep as well," he retorted. He had to squash the urge to reach for her hand or wrist. "I personally know how you become when you're sleep deprived." He smiled teasingly at her.

Simmons rolled her eyes but smiled too.

They enjoyed a little moment of silence between them, listening to the chattering and music in the Boiler room. Fitz's eyes fell on her again and she noticed it, arching a brow in query.

"I saw you speaking with Tyron from Advanced Physics," he said, keeping his voice as neutral as possible.

Simmons blinked and then nodded.

"Yes, he was asking a few things about the class," she replied, fiddling with the paper label of her beer. Leo wondered if he hadn't asked a few things about her as well. "He also asked where we'd gone since he hasn't seen us in class for a while."

"He's probably the only person in Sci-Tech that doesn't know that we're taking more advanced classes now."

"Probably..." She toyed with her beer and then glanced at him again. "I didn't think you knew Amy Carver from the Biology wing."

It was his turn to look at her and blink.

"I don't," he said. "I ran into her this afternoon. Never seen her before that moment." He took a swig of beer. "She did know me though and I think that she sort of asked me out for drinks..." Why was he rambling about this now?

Simmons stared at him, a flash of emotion crossed her eyes. Leo wondered if she had seen him smile at Amy a few moments ago.

The odd guilty feeling in his stomach intensified.

"She asked me about you," she said, nonchalantly. "Quite a few times."

"She did?" He asked and she nodded. "I see..."

They stayed in silence for another couple of minutes before deciding that they should go back to their dorm rooms and call it the night.

They chatted absently about their classes as they walked to her dorm room. Leo couldn't help but glance at her every now and then.

Could she be...annoyed by him looking or getting attention from other girls? That fleeting flash of unknown emotion that he had seen in her usually clear amber eyes made him wonder.

He felt that gnawing, hot sensation when a bloke talked or looked at her. If she felt the same, maybe she was going through his own confused emotions.

Maybe taking that step back from each other would really help them get back to where they were...

He had noticed that she was socialising a bit more now...

Perhaps she had come to the same conclusion?

The problem was that Leo couldn't ask her. He'd just have to assume that they were on the same page...

But what if they weren't...?

A trickle of unease went through his body.

They were almost at her dorm and she was walking a step ahead of him, talking about a project they were working on for Professor Hall.

Without thinking too much,Leo reached out and grabbed her wrist, stopping her mid sentence and mid step.

Jemma turned to him with wide eyes.

"Fitz?" She queried slowly, looking at him. He saw something flash in her eyes again.

Leo took a deep breath and smiled, uncertain.

"We're alright, yeah?" He asked softly.

She looked at him for a full minute, eyes newly searching

His question was for everything: their talk with Agent Weaver, the unease between them at times, the fact that they were both getting to know other people...

He needed to know if she was alright with this. With him.

Leo felt her fingertips brush against his skin, a soft soothing motion and then she smiled, eyes clear again.

"Of course," she answered softly with a smile. "We'll always be."

A little weight lifted from Fitz's shoulders as he nodded.

They'll be alright...

-:-

It was almost December when they applied formally for their double dorm room. They were almost done with their second year exams and expected to receive an answer by the time they got back from Christmas break.

Fitz had barely hidden his joy when Simmons asked him about going to Glasgow and spending the holidays there since it was his family's turn to have her and her family for Christmas.

Leo had feared that she wouldn't want it anymore. He feared that she'd want them to be a bit more distant...but he'd been wrong.

Simmons must have noticed his reaction and understood his unsaid fear because she frowned slightly at him; then she closed her binder full of notes with finality and looked at him.

"Don't be ridiculous, Fitz," she said softly. She looked disappointed, even a little bit hurt, that he could think like that.

"Sorry," he apologized, rubbing the back of his neck. He looked everywhere- at every point of the library- but her as he tried to think of a way to explain his relief. He heard Simmons huff softly and stand up. He looked up at her, expecting to see an angry or sad look on her face but she just looked at him with a wry smile.

"Let's go have lunch, yeah?" She asked, putting away her things in her bag. Fitz quickly copied her and they both left their usual, secluded table in the library and walked through the campus.

Leo felt tongue-tied: he wondered what he could do or say to let Simmons know that he hadn't meant to doubt her but that he doubtful of everything now.

However, she took the matter in her own hands, knowing how he was unable to voice his thoughts and emotions correctly.

Simmons softly bumped their shoulders together, making Fitz turn to look at her despite all his attempts to not do so. She was smiling, her eyes soft and warm as always.

"I'll probably forgive you if you offer me dessert," she remarked offhandedly. Fitz arched a brow at her teasing voice and then cracked a smile.

"Of course," he said. He didn't need to explain: she'd understand him as always.

They were slowly slipping back to being themselves again...

They were almost outside Sci-Tech when a voice reached them.

"FitzSimmons!" They turned as one and saw one of the older cadets that worked in the administration offices. "Agent Weaver wanted me to give you these." The girl handed them two yellow envelopes: the same that they had used to request the double dorm room.

Fitz and Simmons shared an alarmed glance and barely noticed the older cadet bidding them goodbye.

Leo stared at the envelope in his hand. Had Agent Weaver decided that they were too at risk for Section 17? Could she have refused their request without really giving them a chance?

He noticed that Simmons was staring at the envelope too. Then with a resolute look, she opened it. Fitz followed her suit.

For a whole minute, they just stood by Sci-Tech's entrance reading the single sheet of paper that announced that their exam results had been -in an exceptional way- been graded before time and they had both acquired the necessary credits to become seniors.

The last line was to tell them that they could move into their new dorm the following day and to have a good holiday break.

Leo couldn't believe his eyes. He looked up at Jemma and saw her beaming smile for a moment before she jumped and hugged him.

He took a step back, balancing them both and laughed.

"We're moving in together tomorrow," he whispered in her ear.

"Yes! This is just wonderful, Fitz!" Simmons said happily. Then, realising that she was literally in his arms, she stepped back, blushing. Leo felt the warmth invading his face too but he couldn't stop the smile on his face.

"I'm paying for lunch," he announced, starting to walk. He turned to her and grinned. "We've got to celebrate and decide how to move in."

Simmons stared at him for a moment before grinning back and walking along with him.

-:-

They decided to pack and move into the new dorm immediately.

It was Friday and they would have the whole weekend -a blissful class-free weekend- to settle in. Unfortunately, their timetables didn't match this time: Simmons had all morning classes while Fitz had the afternoon and evening ones.

They opted to move in on their own: Fitz would take his things in the morning while Simmons would do it the afternoon. In this way, they'd see each other in the evening and finish unpacking before dinner.

Fitz quickly packed his belongings and realised, much to his surprise, that he had a large number of prototypes, devices and blueprint scrolls strewn in his room.

He never really realised how much work he'd done on his own. He had spent all the time that he wasn't with Simmons, pouring over ideas and projects.

By the time he had to go to class, he had a box of devices and blueprints to take to his new dorm room. It occurred to him that he had to take it there in the evening. The double dorm rooms were in a building close to the lab facilities and the Engineering wing was on the opposite side.

He would never make it on time to class.

With a huff, he reached for his phone as he locked his room's door and walked to class. He quickly wrote a text to Simmons.

[13:45 – To Jemma:] Too many things to pack. I'll have to go back to my room before coming to our dorm. I might be late. :(

Her reply came immediately.

[13:47 – From Jemma:] I'll wait... Maybe, I can make something for dinner. Any preferences? :)

Leo grinned, feeling elated as he hadn't been in a while.

[13:49 – To Jemma:] Your trademark sandwich? *_*

[13:50 – From Jemma:] With some pesto aioli?

[13:51 – To Jemma:] Just a hint.

His smile widened, if possible, when she replied.

[13:53 – From Jemma:] Duly noted.. ;) See you later.

-:-

When Fitz reached his new dorm, it was almost nine o'clock. His last class had ended late -way too late- and it had taken him some time to carefully pack his devices and blueprint scrolls so that they wouldn't get ruined in the rain that had started outside..

He had texted Simmons explaining his delay but she hadn't answered. He ignored the little twinge of concern in his chest and hoped that she wouldn't be annoyed, mad or just disappointed by him.

When he unlocked the door and walked into the dorm, he was hit by a vague sense of déjà-vu. It looked a lot like their old dorm at MIT in its set-up and furniture but it was SHIELD all over the place for its colours and sterile colours.

He was almost going to call Simmons loudly when he didn't see her around despite the lights on and the two plates covered by napkins on the table when he caught a glimpse of honey coloured hair on the sofa.

He silently walked closer and his heart constricted at the sight of Jemma curled on the sofa, fast asleep. She looked so...small...

Leo's eyes wandered around and he saw the blue blanket she used to leave in the common room and that she would use to cover herself when she got cold.

Carefully putting his box down, he picked the blanket and draped it over her. She moved slightly, snuggling under the fabric and he smiled.

Picking his box again, Leo walked into his new room. It was a perfect replica of his older one: it seemed that SHIELD didn't really try to change the furniture and arrangements...

He quickly unpacked his things and started putting them away, ignoring his grumbling stomach. He was wondering how to pin his blueprints to the wall and didn't realise that he had spent almost twenty minutes in his room.

"Leo?"

Fitz turned around abruptly almost dropping the scroll in his hand. Jemma was standing at his door, looking adorably sleepy.

He couldn't help but think that she looked beautiful with her mussed hair and soft, slightly dazed eyes but he quickly dispelled the thought.

'Friends, best friends,' he reminded himself. 'Don't mess it up.'

He must have been silent for too long because she approached him, after rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

"Fitz?"

He wondered if his name had just slipped out before. An old habit that never really died down. He missed hearing her calling him Leo just as much as he missed calling her Jemma.

"Hey," he said with a smile.

"When did you come in?" She asked, smiling slightly.

"Less than half an hour ago... It took me a bit to finish packing."

"I didn't hear you."

"You were dead to the world," he teased, putting his scrolls on the desk. "I didn't want to wake you up."

"You should have," she protested. "I could have helped you."

Fitz shook his head.

"I'm almost done." he said and before he could say anything else, his stomach grumbled loudly again.

Jemma giggled softly while he blushed.

"Come on," she said, "Let's eat before your stomach complains again."

Dinner was a quick business.

Leo all but inhaled his sandwich and Jemma teased him as she ate hers. He couldn't help smiling despite his protests her words that he was a bottomless pit.

They had both unpacked and put all of their things in place: they just had some minor adjustments to do but they both agreed that they could do it tomorrow.

They were too tired now to think about arranging their things around the dorm.

They opted to watch a film and Leo quickly set up his laptop to the television screen and after a quick decision with Jemma, Harry Potter and Philosopher's stone was playing.

Leo felt his body relax on the sofa as he watched the film for the nth time: it had been a while since he felt like this.

Jemma was sitting next to him, blanket covering her as she watched the film, eyes open but filled with tiredness. He honestly wondered if she'd been sleeping recently.

He'd take care of that now: there was no way that Jemma Simmons would be so reckless of her well being.

He'd take care of her.

That's what best friends did, right?

Halfway through the film, Leo felt Jemma's head drop softly on his arm. He looked at her and saw that her eyes were still fixed on the screen.

He didn't say anything and ignored the little jump his heart did at the close contact.

"Do you want me to stop the film?" He asked and she looked up at him, amber eyes peering through honey strands.

His heart did an odd twist.

"No," she replied softly. "I might doze off in a while but not yet."

"Alright..." He nodded and turned to the film again. His attention dropped completely when he felt Jemma's hand around his wrist. He looked down at her again only to find her staring at him.

She smiled softly at his confused expression.

"I'm glad we're alright, Leo," she whispered. "I missed this."

For a moment, Leo wondered what she meant with this. His presence, the comfortable silence and being together?

It took him a few seconds that he really didn't care for the answer.

Tomorrow they'd be Fitz and Simmons again, not Jemma and Leo. They will talk with other people and maybe accept to go out with them. They'd try to revert to being only friends.

But now...they didn't have to.

Whatever this was, he had missed it too.

"Me too, Jemma," he replied and gently squeezed her fingers.

As they shared a smile and watched the film, Leo swore to himself that he wouldn't mess their relationship. Not again.

He cared for her friendship too much.

He'd sort his feelings out.

Maybe this was just a crush...or maybe his feelings were stronger than what he thought...

He'd figure them out.

Until then, he would be Jemma's best friend.

He wouldn't leave her side and would take care of her.

It was a promise.

-:-

Leo faltered once in his promise.

The day of their graduation from Sci-Tech, less than a year later, he went to a flower shop and ordered a bouquet.

For Jemma.

His feelings weren't still clear to him but he knew that he cared for her deeply. He could be in love with her.

He realised that he could easily fall in love with Jemma Simmons.

They were going to leave the Academy and had decided to accept a job in Sci-Ops facility in Boston. They had both agreed to go to Boston because it reminded them of MIT: they had even gotten an apartment together.

And the Sci-Ops facility there was one of the largest ones.

Things would be different from now on.

They were Agents of SHIELD, scientists that worked to maintain world peace.

It wasn't going to be studying and exams anymore…

Everything was going to be real.

Leo never did well with changes but he this was something we was looking forward to.

So he decided to give in to one of his hidden thoughts… before some other man could walk in and take her away.

Leo decided that he wanted to try and see if Jemma wanted them to be more than just friends and partners. Their lives were going to change now; perhaps, they could sort this out as well.

They might be both confused with their feelings but, maybe, they could try to understand them together.

When they woman at the flower shop smiled at him and asked if he knew which flowers he wanted, Leo blushed but nodded firmly and then listed the flowers he wanted. His mother's voice echoed in his mind providing him with the meaning of each of them.

Pink roses, pink tulips and yellow tulips.

And the message they conveyed was quite simple: I care about our friendship and I'm hopelessly in love with you.

It was a gamble. If it went well, he'd be happy; if it didn't, he'd think it over again.

Jemma might understand it and accept it. Or she might not.

He didn't want to think of the possibility of her understanding but not accepting his impromptu confession.

At the end, when they both grinned as another cadet took pictures of them during their ceremony and walked to their dorm room to change, Fitz took out the bouquet and gave it to Simmons.

She looked stunned for a moment and stared at the flowers as she took the bouquet, fingers gliding over the soft petals. She looked up at him with an odd look, clearly wondering why he would give her flowers: he had never given her any before.

Then she started rambling, eyes wide in alarm and guilty as she said that she hadn't gotten anything for him.

Leo waved her apologies away and grinned, saying that he just wanted to give her something.

Jemma stared at him searchingly but then smiled broadly and hugged him tight and gave him a small kiss on the cheek, telling him that he was wonderful and her best friend in the world.

Leo smiled as he hugged her back and his heart cracked a little.

She didn't understand but he got his answer.

They were still best friends though.

He could live with that.

As long as he could stay by her side, he would be alright.

---

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