Tndsecretoperative: Awesome bro. I agree, yet Lambo's take up too much gas lolz. But, about the panic attack, i turned into somethin else, like a seizure. And the suicide attempt, I'm DEFIANTLY gonna take that idea in account,. Thanks ALOT fer that. ;)

Chapter 11: Psychotic

Raphael lie limp in Leonardo's arms as all his brothers remain shocked from the previous events. Donatello and Michelangelo coursed their way towards their unconscious, trembling older brother. The expression Raph was expressing only made the situation seem worse. His dilated eyes were hooded-open, and tears were clung to his pale-green cheeks. Suddenly, Raphael began to mumble incoherently to himself in his insensible state. But in a flash, Raphael jolted up from where he lie on Leo's lap and glare at nothing, which throw Leo, Donne, and Mikey on a journey of concern.

"Umm...R-Raph? Are you...?"

Mikey wasn't able to complete his sentence, as Raph threw his hands up to his neck and threw up all over his lap. Leo then grabbed Raph by his shell to hold him up straight up, of any risk of Raph throwing up again.

"Jesus, Raphael! Hold on, Raph! Hold on! Master Splinter! Mikey, go and get father, and FAST! And get a towel or something to wipe up this mess!"

Mikey then nodded to Leo and jumped to his feet and bolted for Master Splinter's room. Not only seconds later did Splinter come running out of his room and towards a trembling Raphael.

Splinter then kneeled down next to Raph as Mikey kneeled next to Donnie.

"Donatello, has happened to Raphael?"

Donnie then shot his attention to his master and looked backed down at Raph.

"Master, I don't know whats going on with Raph. Raph's been...he...I don't..."

Donatello's stuttering was soon put to a stop by the gentle feel of fur on his shoulder. Donnie slowly raised his head to look to his master and met him with a smiling gaze. Leonardo gingerly brought Raphael back down to his lap as Mikey wiped up the vomit from Raph's lap and plastron.

"Oh, Raphie. I'm so sorry."

Mikey says as tears flow down his cheeks and wipe-up the last bit of stomach content from Raph's mouth. Leo was now stroking a dozing Raph's head as tears of his own began to fall from his eyes.

"My G-d, Raph. What is happening to my dear little brother?"

Leonardo says as he nuzzles the top of Raphael's head.

"Hey, Leo? Can you take Raph upstairs to his room, please? I think he just needs to rest now. I'll be up their in a little while to check on him."

Donnie gently smiles as he kneeled down next to Raph and placed a hand on his thigh.

"Sure, Don. Let's go Mikey."

Leo says as he wipes his tears and elevated Raph up in his arms bridal style and begins to walk out of the room. Mikey follows behind wiping his tears rapidly and both disappear in the darkness of the hallway. Donnie still had his head lowered stuck in deep thought. A hand was placed on his shoulder which nearly caused him to jump out of his shell.

"Donatello, you have done many great deeds for your brothers. You must not put yourself down for not understand the current situation of Raphael."

Donnie sadly smiles up to his sensai, but his smile slowly forms into a lip quivering frown. Donnie let out a quiet whimper and threw himself into his father and allowed his long awaiting tears to flow.

"Oh, Sensai. I don't know what to do! I kills me to see Raph the way he is, especially when I can't figure out w-whats w-wrong with him."

Master Splinter was holding Donatello close to his chest and slowly strokes his sons shell.

"Shhhh...its alright my son. A solution will be found."

Donatello wipes the remaining tears from his eyes and gently nods. Master Splinter helps his son to his feet and wipes away a stray tear from Donnie's cheek with his thumb. Donnie then give his father a wet smile and calmly made his way towards the dimly lit hall.

Darkness was clouding every inch of Raphael's vision. Something about this darkness wasn't normal, it was too thick, extremely intimidating. The thickness of the air was making it almost impossible to breathe, and the incredibly strong feeling of something was going to attack him. There was noise in every direction of the darkness, especially screaming. Raphael kept looking around the endless abyss in a cold sweat. Then suddenly, all the sounds and screams stopped too sharply, causing Raph's ears to bleed. Raphael kept his guard up even more, but was still scared to death. Red eyes and sharp teeth with blood oozing out suddenly showed itself in the darkness and lunged itself at raph screaming bloody murder.

Raphael jolted up from bed so hard, he fell to the ground. Icy cold sweat clung loosely to his flaming skin as he tried to calm his laboured breathing. Hard breathing, that seemed to close was heard from the left side. Raphael hesitantly turned his head with wide-eyes and almost shouted out, but sighed in relief when he say the hard breathing was coming from his sleeping eldest brother. Raph shifted on the floor in a more comfortable sitting position. He pulled one of his legs up to his chest and let his other lie limp on the floor. There was no telling how long Raph ended up sitting there, he might of even dosed off with his eyes open. Raphael kept his gaze on the wall, staring into nothing, Raph then squinted his eyes at the wall for red eyes were beginning to appear there. He was terrified enough as it was, but when a gentle hand was placed on his shoulder, its a surprise he didn't have a heart attack. Raph gasped loudly at the sudden touch and threw his head to the left to meet his eldest brother dark-eyed gaze.

"Raphie, are you ok?"

Raphael stared at his brother for a moment before he managed to get his breathing back to normal, yet he was still incredibly strained. One thing FOR SURE was, Raph couldn't think straight. Raph was looking at Leo as if he's never seen him before.

"Raph whats...?

"Leo...yer...yer face, why 'r yer eyes so red? 'R ya angry wit me fer, killin ya?"

Raph propped himself up on his knees and cupped Leo's cheeks. Raphael then pressed his forehead to Leonardo's who was wide-eye struck in shock.

"Ohh, Leo. M' so sorry. I wen' too far." Raph was now stroking Leo's neck as he brought the other to the back of Leonardo's neck. Leo was shocked at Raphael's words to bring him closer. He slowly sat up and got down to the floor with Raph, being extra careful not to break contact.

"Leo, I killed ya. M' so sorry, I always knew I wasn' a goo' bro ta ya. I wanna make it up to ya, Leo."

Leo was having a hard time breathing. Why was Raphael taking this way? What does he mean 'he wants to make it up to me?' I'M NOT EVEN DEAD!

"Raphael, w-what do you mean...you want to..."

Leo swallowed hard before completing his sentence.

"Ma-make it up to me?"

Raphael formed a smile and expression that would make even Michelangelo jealous, which REALLY scared Leo at Leonardo at this point. Leo then grabbed Raph's shoulders and shook him a little.

"Raphael?! What are you talking about?!"

Raphael closed his eyes in a gentle manor and released a small chuckle to his eldest sibling. Raph slowly rose to his feet, with the 'dead' Leo's hand still grasped firmly, yet harmlessly in his own. Leonardo got to his feet along with Raphael, but was pulled into a cold embrace by his little brother. His skin was so much colder then it used to be.

Raph then pulled half-way out of the embrace and planted a kiss on Leo's beak.

"Leo, why do I continue ta see ya? Is it cause yer gonna haunt me fer what I've done?"

Leo noticed Raph suddenly had a severely irritated tone in his voice. Leonardo opened his mouth soon to protest, but was soon cut off by Raph shoving him his very HARDEST and fell hard on his shell. Leo threw his head up to glare a the red-banned turtle.

"R-Raphie...why?"

"Why, won' ya jus'...I..I killed ya, Dang it, Leo! Go Awa..."

Raphael coldly cut himself off as he intensely glared at his hand. The limb was tearing off from his arm, causing Raph to scream in agony as he stumbled backwards trying desperately to connect his hand back to his arm.

"AHHHH! OH MY G-D! MY...MY HAN'! NO! NO!

Leonardo was staring in absolute horror as his brother who was no looking as if he was deeply trying to swipe something from the floor as tears fell endlessly from his eyes.

"NOOO! MY HAN'!"

Raphael suddenly shot his head to look in the direction of a completely stunned Leonardo. But, what Leo saw in Raph's eyes made him want to bolt out of the door. Raphael's usual beautiful and golden orbs, where clouded with: pure rage, fear, confusion, and craziness. Raph started to stalk his way slowly towards Leo, his eyes wide with anger.

"YOU! YOU DID DIS TA ME!

Raphael's voice didn't even sound like his own anymore. It was scratchy, deep, and filled with pain and rage. Leo then pounced from his position on the floor and to his feet as he noticed Raph harshly pulling his Sai from his belt. Leo felt a horribly painful knot form in the clear middle of his stomach. Raph was then running top speed towards Leo, swinging his Sai without a trace of hesitation, just crystal hatred. Leonardo dodged many swings easily, but was caught off guard as Raphael threw a Sai directly towards his throat. It was like slow motion as Leo quickly jerked out his katanas and deflected the Sai at the last second. A loud metallic sound filled the room, for it was suddenly empty and silent of any fighting as Raph was on his knees with his remaining Sai at his side, clutching too tight to his skull and sobbing loudly. Leo didn't have the strength to move, for he was trying to recover from the fact that his own brother tried to plunge his throat to the wall. Donatello and Michelangelo came bursting into Leo's room, with their weapons drawn and their muscles visibly tensed. Both turtles both relaxed themselves as they saw there was no real danger, but tensed immediately once the took in the current scene. Raph looked up to the hard sound of the door cracking against the wall for how hard it was thrown open, which caused both Leo and Raph to flinch. Once Raphael saw wear his two younger siblings stand in the doorway, he yelled out in terror and automatically alarmed his three brothers. Behind Donnie and Mikey stand a tall man with a black face with white dotted eyes and razor sharp teeth

His pitch black skin bared the sharpest of claws and his arms looked to be 5 feet long. The figure quickly brought its sharp nails down and tried to slash down at Donnie and Mike.

"NO! NO DON'T! DON, MIKE, MOVE! BEHIND YOU!"

Donatello and Michelangelo both snapped around, weapons ready to attack anything that posed a threat, but nothing was there. Raphael then slowly got into a fetal position in the middle of the floor and cried.

"No, no, no, NO! This can' be hap..."

Raph's own body cut him off as he started to twitch violently. All three brothers sprinted to Raphael as his seizing got more intense.

"Oh no, Raphie!"

Mikey yelled as he carefully placed Raph's horribly trembling head in his lap. Donnie and Leo were clearly trying to keep themselves calm as to not make the situation worse. Raph suddenly let out a loud moan of...pleasure, as his bladder muscles lost all control and released all he had, which resulted in Raphael releasing a louder moan and touching himself, but was no later pulled back by Leo grasping his hand and holding it firmly in his own. The seizure then subsided after a total of 55 seconds. Leonardo instantly picked a limp Raph out of his own bodily fluids and headed towards the bathroom. Raph was still moaning a bit in Leo's arms as he tried touch himself again. Donnie then pulled Raph's hand away and signalled for Mikey to come and hold both of his hands. Once Mikey was close enough, he let out a small whimper as he got in a deep glance of his older brother. Raphael's eyes were rolled half-way up in his tilted head and his mouth was mildly open with tounge hanging out from the side. His amazing, hot-headed older brother, his hero was COMPLETELY out of reality. Once the brothers reached the bathroom, Raph rubbed his hand along Leo's cheek and babble incomplete words, yet Leo still managed to understand what Raphael wanted.

"Ok, Raph. Guys, Raphael wants only me to help him right now. But, you two need to go and tell Master Splinter about what happened, right away."

The youngest two nodded in understanding as they headed off to their father's chambers. Leo gently closed the door with his foot as he gingerly placed his panting and shivering little brothers on the counter and locked the door. Leonardo ran the hottest water into the tub and slowly placed Raphael inside. Leo looked up at Raph's face as he began to wash him, and noticed how out-minded and pale he looked. Raph was still babbling incoherent words to Leo, which caused small tears to trickle in his eyes. Most likely lost his words after a seizure that caused him pleasure. Raphael began to play with the tails of Leo's mask like a, child, but soon gasped and closed his eyes as Leo began to clean the lower area of his plastron to remove the remainings of Raph's body fluid. Raphael open his legs wider and moaned freely, and Leonard's tears poured from his eyes.

"No, Raphie. Don't do that."

Leonardo says quietly as he washed Raphael's legs and feet. After the torturess bathe, Leo picked up a now knocked-out Raphael up out the tub and began the drying process for his kid brother. His tears were dried at this point, and along with Raph, he was exhausted. Physically and emotionally. Leo then wrapped Raph's mask around his half-open eyes and started for the living room. After all the things that happen when they left him in Leo's room , there was no way, they were going to leave him alone again, Raphael needed someone.

"Kneel, my son."

Leonardo got down to his knees before his Sensai. Master Splinter stands up and begins to pace around his son in a questioning mannor. Leo didn't have to speak for Splinter to feel the sadness and concern radiating around Leonardo.

"Leonardo, Raphael has suffered through many obstacles during his years. Yet, I feel this is an issue that can't be resolved on its own."

"I understand, Sensai. But, Raphael...I can no longer believe that his mind is still with us."

A moment of silence coursed its way through the quarters. Splinter then kneeled directly in front of Leo and places his hand on his shoulder.

"Explain your say, my son. What has happened to Raphael?"

Leo kept his head down to glare at his hands, but still brought up the courage to talk.

"Sensai...Raphael has had many issues. He's had and still has physically weakening headaches, he's went through 2 seizures, one lasting almost FIVE MINUTES, sensai! The other seizure caused his...muscles to lose control and frighteningly cause him pleasure. Leonardo took several deep breaths and blinked back the incoming tears threatening to fall before he continued to speak.

"H-he...thought...one time, Raph thought his hand was..f-falling off..and"

Leo's tears were now falling hard from. Leonardo brought his hand up and covered his eyes to calm himself down. Splinter held a tight, comforting grip on Leo's shoulder, letting him know he was still there for him. Frustrated with his weakness, Leo placed his hand on top of fathers and continued to talk as clear as his could.

"He once brought himself to attack me before. R-Raph also thought...he..he killed me."

Splinters eyes enlarged at the last statement. He had never thought what Raphael was. Splinter was knocked out of his thoughts by the sound of Leo's voice.

"Donatello, has talked some about what has happened to Raphael while I wasn't able to be around. Raphael actually believed he witnessed his intestines ripped clear out of his stomach. He had a major panic attack and fell unconscious for nearly two days."

Splinter was now just shocked by what Leonardo was saying. He couldn't believe he had missed so much of Raphael. It left him practically speechless.

"I have meditated on Raphael's mind and...he is haunted and plagued by many dark memories and nightmares. Ones mostly that involve you, Leonardo."

Leo looked up to meet his fathers gaze with tears pouring from his eyes.

"M-me?"

Leo then lowered his gaze to the floor and slowly planted his head in his hands. Leonardo hesitated his last words in a cracked and choked voice.

"Master Splinter...I think my little brother...is going.."

Leo swallowed hard and loud and choked out a sob before letting out the last word.

"Insane."

Wow, this is a bit much. Oh well. Hope ya enjoyed this chapter my lovely people.

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