-HEAD CANON SERIES-
Sorry for the delay but work is killing me and cutting all of my writing time. And the prompts for the FitzSimmons week shaved a bit of that time too.
And I feel as though I should apologize for the mammoth-size my chapters are turning out recently: it seems that writing very little every day increases the length of my stories and they also get more and more detailed.
And...I lied. This will be 4 chapters long. I might have a little bit of a soft spot for Fitz writing-wise and I tend to write a lot more from his POV. This section has turned out enormous and I opted to post it on its own and add the rest in another chapter.
I also realised that Tis the Season To Be Jolly was my first story for this series and while I had a vague outline of the whole universe, I didn't have all the details clear in my mind like I do now.
Hence, biblical chapters... X(
Anyway...
A big thank you to all the people who have left a review and have liked my work. I'm way beyond flattered. You guys are the best... :)
The Prompt was #49. Lock.
Thanks to my Beta StarryDreamer01 who helped me edit this.
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN AGENTS OF SHIELD.
-23 years old- (Before 23 years old in Tis the Season)
"Do you like this one?"
"Yeah..."
"More than this one?"
"Yeah..."
Simmons stared at him, holding a white dress shirt in a hand and a striped dress shirt in the other. She arched an eyebrow.
"Fitz," she said, lowering the two hangers in her hands. "You do realise that you've been giving the same answer for all of my questions in the last hour, yeah?"
"Ye- no!" Leo quickly corrected himself, trying to focus and not let her notice that he'd stopped paying attention to the shopping exactly an hour ago.
And that was when she had stopped looking for a dress and had started helping him -more like deciding for him actually- find a suit for the End-of-the-Year Sci-Ops party.
Apparently, he was not that good of an actor...
"Oh, Fitz," Simmons huffed. "Why do I even bother?"
"It's just a party, Simmons," he retorted, feeling a bit guilty at her disappointed tone.
A soft whack on his nape made him jump and Alison walked past him, holding two ties.
"Leo, behave," she warned him, shooting him a look that made him want to hide.
Honestly, why was here again? With these two?
Shopping?
Alison examined the shirts Jemma was holding and the looked at the ties. She then looked at her brother with a critical eye.
"I'd say the striped shirt and the blue tie," his sister remarked. "It goes well with the dark suit you've got."
Simmons looked at the garments and then glanced at him.
"Yes, I agree," she said with a nod. "He'll look quite dapper and the blue will bring out the colour of his eyes too..."
Alison smirked.
"Oh, really?"
The teasing note in his sister's voice made Leo blush. He saw Simmons freeze when she realised what she had said and registered Alison's tone. He was sure that the fiery shade of red of her face matched his own.
"Right... I-I'll put these back in their place," Simmons took the other tie from Alison's hand and all but sprinted past him, catching his eyes for a second before blushing again.
Fitz turned and followed her with his gaze until she disappeared behind an aisle. He turned around and saw his sister grinning at him.
He frowned, running his free hand on his face. His other hand was laden with a couple of shopping bags that were Simmons' dress and shoes for the party.
"Was that really necessary?" He asked, barely hiding his annoyance.
Alison shrugged.
"It's extremely easy to tease the two of you," she said with a smile. "Besides...she said that on her own. You can't blame me for that."
Leo swallowed dryly and let out a puff of breath. He really didn't want to linger on the thought that Simmons would compliment him or notice him in a suit.
Things were hard enough as they were...
"Just stop doing that," he said.
"Stop doing what?" Alison asked, approaching him. "Hinting that you two could easily be together?"
"Yeah," Leo frowned again. He had long lost count of the times people just assumed that he and Simmons were a couple.
Their landlord, their coworkers at Sci-Ops (and that befuddled him because -er...Section 17 anyone?-) and of course, their families.
He didn't want to fight his ever-struggling feelings every single time...
"You two are being ridiculous," Alison commented offhandedly. "Any person with eyes can see how you look at each other. How you behave... Honestly, it's simple..." His sister shook her head as she started rummaging through a shelf of waistcoats.
Leo followed her, pursing his lips and swallowing his retorts.
His relationship with Simmons was anything but simple.
They were best friends and partners. They were housemates and co-workers.
And amidst all of this, in everything they shared, there was something more: a hazy mist of feelings and emotions that made Leo want to hold her closer and keep her at arms' length at the same time.
He knew that she felt the same way. They had both been struggling with different emotions.
"Simmons and I are friends," he said. Alison picked a hanger and looked at the waistcoat hanging on it before looking at him.
"Straighten up: I want to see how this could look on you," she said, putting the dark waistcoat in front of him. "Hmmm... no." She put it away. "And I swear, this Simmons-Fitz business is driving me insane. I can understand that you've got to address to each other formally at work, but here? You're at home! You've known each other since you were fifteen!"
Fitz rolled his eyes. This was another thing that his sister had been badgering him for years.
Ever since they'd gone to the specialised school (as they called the Academy because they couldn't mention SHIELD to anyone) and had come back for the holidays calling each other by their surnames, their families had looked at them oddly for days.
He realised that they did have a reason to do so. After five years of hearing them calling each other Leo and Jemma, it must have been weird to have them address each other with their surnames.
"You know why we do it," he retorted, shifting the bag in his grip. "Our work requires us to be formal to each other. And now we stick to our surnames all the time because we're used to it. Nothing has changed."
Everything had changed from the time before the Academy but Leo didn't voice the thought.
Alison looked at him with an arched brow but didn't question him. He knew that his sister knew what he was thinking.
"Hmm," she said. "And this Government organization where you're working so much now has the same rules?"
Leo nodded. He and Simmons had agreed to tell their families that they were working in a private lab for the American Government.
They had accepted their explanation and had shown more than a bit of pride for their achievements but Leo wondered how much they truly believed them. He had noticed the subtle glances the Simmons' exchanged and the way his mother and sister would mask a concerned look when he or Simmons talked vaguely about work.
He wondered when secrecy had become so important in his life.
It wasn't only SHIELD. He was keeping many things to himself lately...
"Whatever..." Alison huffed and picked another waistcoat. "Anyway, what's gotten into you?"
"What?" Leo looked at her in confusion.
"You're odd today and it's not only because Jemma and I have dragged you out for shopping," She glanced at him. "And it's not because Bryce is here.."
Leo winced at the hint of sadness his sister's voice had taken but didn't comfort her.
His relationship with his brother was... gone. Leo had stopped attempting to be civil and trying to build their old relationship. Ever since Alison's wedding, when they fought and Bryce had threatened Jemma and then the whole guilt-trip he had put on Leo which caused his fight with Simmons, he had stopped caring for his brother.
And Bryce was finally noticing it.
His brother had changed after their last fight. He had ditched his old friends James and Andrew, concentrated in his studies and worked hard. And somewhere along the line, he had met Leslie, a girl that was studying psychology at his University.
What this girl saw in his brother was beyond Leo's understanding... but she stuck around and they got together.
And got married last year.
Leo had been invited (only him and not Simmons and her family) and he was sure that invitation must have been sent either by his mother or by his new sister-in-law.
He had been tempted not to go but the thought of his mother and sister's disappointed faces made him leave the apartment he shared with Simmons in Boston and go home.
He didn't stay for long. He was home the night before the wedding and left immediately after the ceremony. He said that he was busy at work and that he couldn't stay away for long.
Leo had left his brother a note where he welcomed Leslie in the Fitz family and told Bryce that his wedding gift was his not being at his wedding reception. It was his way to tell him that he didn't want to be in his brother's life: Leo had been hurt and hoped too much to believe in Bryce's reprieve.
Leo hadn't felt guilty: only a bit empty inside. When he got to the apartment, very late that night, he found Simmons waiting for him. One look and she hugged him tight, silently giving him comfort.
He had seen Bryce after almost two years and he kept their interactions as detached and minimum as possible. All the things he had known about his life had been provided by his mother, sister or Alec in passing conversations.
Alison had noticed of course...
"Nothing is wrong," he replied and his sister scoffed.
"Yeah, sure," Alison scowled at him, eyes blazing. "You're telling me that now and then you'll go off to Alec for advice or concoct some plan to put me and Mum off track."
Leo winced again.
Alison hadn't been happy to hear about all the things he had hidden from her in the past. Alec had -for reasons that Leo still didn't know- confessed all about Leo's school struggles with Bryce and his cronies and the scuffle at the wedding. It had happened shortly after the wedding and his sister was still very mad and disappointed about it.
Alison hadn't taken it well... Leo had received more than one angry phone call from her. Or had been at the receiving end of many harsh looks.
He didn't know what Alec had gone through but it seemed that she and Bryce had argued rather viciously.
That would explain his brother's sudden and complete change of character. And the fact that after his wedding, he had moved to Edinburgh, close to Leslie's family and didn't stay in Glasgow where their mother and sister lived.
Luckily for him, Alison's anger had subsided...though she did throw him a jibe every now and then.
"You know why I did it," he said softly, free hand rubbing the back of his neck in nervousness as he looked at his feet. "I didn't want to make you worry."
He looked up and saw his sister stare at him with a soft look and a pained smile.
"I know," she replied, approaching him. "But I should have helped you out, Leo." She ran a hand through his hair as she did when he was a child. "I could have helped you. Why am I even there for if not to help my little brother?"
Leo smiled.
"For everything else?" He suggested. Alison smiled and ruffled his hair before going through the waistcoat section again.
"Anyway," she said, picking up another hanger and then putting it away. "You still haven't told me what's bothering you. What's wrong?"
"I told you nothing is-"
"Leo..."
Fitz huffed and leaned against the pillar near the shelf. He supposed that he could be a wee bit honest then...
"I'm a bit weary of this End-of-the-Year party," he said, turning to his side to see if Simmons was approaching. The last thing he wanted was to her to hear him.
He had more than a reason to not want to go to this event...
"It's just a party," Ali remarked, looking at him with an arched brow. He shot her a deadpanned look. "Alright, you don't like parties. So why even bother to go to this one?"
"Simmons asked me to-" He stopped talking the moment he saw the teasing smile his sister shot at him. "Oh, come on..." He couldn't stop the little wave of irritation coursing in him.
"So, Jemma just says the word and you do it?" Alison smirked. "And you're surprised when I say that you're a couple? You're so whipped."
"Stop it," It came out harsher than he expected and he felt immediately guilty as he saw the surprised look on Alison's face.
"Sorry," he muttered and looked away.
The allusions that they were a couple were slowly getting to him. He usually brushed them off, along with Simmons, with an embarrassed smile and a shake of his head.
He always felt that little pang in his chest and a voice in his head berating him, telling him that he was a coward and that he could at least try and tell something to Simmons or just get over her.
Especially after the last few months...
They had both started to go out with other people. Coffee dates at the Academy had turned into dinners while at Sci-Ops but the concept was the same.
Fitz tried his best to ignore the flare of jealousy when Simmons went out with some Sci-Ops co-worker or the occasional specialist that would waltz into their lab or stop her while walking in the hallways, asking her out for dinner. He ignored the pinkish tint her face would take when she agreed with a flustered smile.
He desperately ignored the gnawing envy in his stomach whenever the bloke left with a grin on his face. He could ask her out because he wasn't working with her.
He wasn't her partner.
He didn't have to worry about Section 17.
Fitz had started to go out with girls in the Academy because he wanted to see if the confused feelings he had for his best friend were truly... feelings or just a crush on the girl that had been by his side for years.
When Simmons had started dating, he asked girls out to keep his mind off his best friend. Some of them were nice, truly nice to be with and talk to, but he couldn't see them as more than some pretty girls. There had been kisses and snogs but nothing more.
Fitz wasn't particularly articulate when it came to speaking to girls. It had taken him various disastrous attempts -embarrassing too- before he gained some confidence.
Simmons seemed to be going through similar trials as well.
They never talked about their relationships but they would, every now and then, talk about a date or laugh about a terrible line Fitz had said or the way a nervous Simmons would ramble.
But none of these people lingered.
It was just a date, two at most, and then it was FitzSimmons all the time again. They'd be together in their lab and then in their shared apartment.
It was Fitz that had shifted the balance.
Months ago, he met Emily Ashton, a Level 2 data analyst who stationed at Boston's Sci-Ops facility. The black haired, grey eyed woman had started talking to him after they worked together in securing the facility's computer system after a particular vicious thunder storm.
After a few weeks, the twenty seven year old American woman asked him out. Leo had been surprised and a little flustered but had accepted: Emily was quite pretty and intelligent and he looked forward to knowing her better.
He started going out with her regularly after another few weeks and got back to the apartment after dinners or cinemas.
Leo always found Simmons waiting for him either in the living room or in her room with the door open. She'd smile at him, asking about his date.
He thought he saw some flash of emotion cross her face when he appeared with a smile but it was so fleeting that he wondered if it was just his imagination.
For once, Leo Fitz allowed himself to be happy with a woman that wasn't Jemma Simmons. And it seemed to work. Simmons was still his best friend and partner, their relationship wasn't jeopardized in any way and Emily was his girlfriend -of sorts, they never really talked about it.
For the first month or so, everything went fairly well.
That was until Jemma started dating Erik Eisen.
Eisen was a Level 6 German physicist who worked at their facility. He was well spoken of among co-workers and brilliant in his field which focused on energy sources, varying from solar to nuclear energy. Eisen had worked with them and Fitz had been impressed by his ideas and theories. Simmons too.
But then Eisen started dropping into their lab often and he noticed the way the other man looked and smiled at his partner and that had dampened his friendliness towards him.
And he had ignored the shy way Simmons smiled back at him even though it sent hot flares gnawing his stomach.
He wasn't thoroughly surprised when he learned that they would be going out together. He did his best to keep his façade and smiled when Simmons told him.
There was no need for her to know about the way her words made his stomach churn.
He realised that if he could go out and date, she could (should) be doing this as much as she wanted as well; whether he liked it or not, they weren't bound to each other in any way.
His cowardice and their struggling emotions didn't count as any sort of tether between them.
He had been so wrapped up in sorting out his feelings, trying to understand if he was only harbouring a long crush on his best friend and seeing if Emily now could make him go past that point, that he didn't realise that Simmons could have been thinking the same.
She could have been trying to sort her feelings out too.
It all hit him with stunning clarity when he got back to the apartment after spending the evening out with Emily. He opened the door to find the house dark and no Simmons around.
He remembered her saying that she had a date with Eisen: they had been seeing each other for a month now.
And he didn't know when she would be back.
Not having her greet him at home sent a tingle of unease in his stomach but the mere thought of her not coming back for the night made an icy feeling claw at his heart.
Jemma Simmons was a beautiful woman and there was no way that Eisen wouldn't be attracted to her in the most physical of ways; as a male, he could clearly relate to that.
Leo had given in a bit to these urges while dating Emily: they had snogged in her car, touched each other and he had let his hands and mouth wander freely when she allowed it. She had done the same.
He didn't even want to think what Simmons could be doing with Eisen.
When she entered the apartment less than an hour after him, smiling and happy, Leo felt relief and dread mingled altogether.
But he didn't let her notice his inner turmoil; as much as he was torn inside, he saw that she was happy. Eisen was making her happy.
As a friend, he should be glad that the bloke was not hurting his best friend.
He shouldn't be inwardly feeling the nagging urge to smash the bloke's skull or be in his place...
Leo Fitz was many things but he would never be disloyal or cause pain to the ones he cared for. He was currently dating Emily and Jemma was happy with Eisen.
He'd be happy for her. Even though he dreaded the moment when she'd say that she had fallen in love with the German physicist.
But it would be his fault really... Leo couldn't figure out his feelings for her; he honestly couldn't expect that no other man wouldn't notice her or that she wouldn't notice anyone else.
He lived with these feelings for another month and didn't realise that something was slowly going off with Emily.
Actually, he didn't notice that Emily despised Simmons until it was blatantly shoved in his face.
There had been little comments at first: complaints about him spending all of his time with the biochemist and Fitz laughing them off, saying that they lived and worked together and how on Earth could they do that if they didn't spend time together?
He didn't mention that he and Simmons were rarely alone together nowadays. Ever since they'd both started dating, they didn't spend much time at home to watch a film or go out somewhere on their own. Even their lunch breaks were now divided with Eisen and Emily.
He missed it...
Then, Emily got a bit weary of his adamant resolve to not invite her over to the apartment.
FitzSimmons were among the handful of Sci-Ops agents that lived in an apartment that wasn't a SHIELD chosen house. Those apartments were usually turned into some sort of dorm and three to four agents lived together.
The agents that could afford to live in another secure establishment were usually either the higher level operatives or the ones that could afford to buy or rent an apartment with their salary.
Sci-Ops agents below Level 4 didn't get a very high salary but FitzSimmons had managed, despite their Level 3 status and young age, to get a lease on an apartment and had paid for the rent with their savings.
Having their privacy and being on their own was something that many agents yearned for.
So Emily's request to come over and stay with him at the apartment, spend time with him there where he lived and, maybe, spend the night was a rather normal one.
As any red-blooded man, Fitz couldn't deny that he had thought of sex and Emily's willingness had made him think about it more.
However, whatever thought he had or urge he felt vanished when he imagined Simmons' face if he brought Emily to their apartment, leaving no misunderstanding to the reason of her being there.
He couldn't bring himself to do it.
The mental image of the biochemist's possible expression made him feel ill...
Moreover, even if Simmons didn't care whether he brought someone home, she never had. Eisen had never been to their apartment.
He imagined the situation reversed and felt even worse.
There was a balance right now between him and Simmons: they were in a place where everything... worked. As friends and partners. And they seemed to coexist with that hazy grey area in their relationship.
They sometimes rocked that thin line between them but it always settled back.
If one of them rocked it too much, it might break and that would mean breaking them.
Fitz would never allow it.
Emily cottoned onto his hidden feelings and doubts and hadn't been happy about them. Her words had been harsh and pained and Leo could have accepted her anger if it had been reserved for him. But how could he restrain his anger when she'd insulted Simmons?
They'd fought in her car while in the cinema's parking lot.
"I've told you already: Simmons and I are friends," he repeated in exasperation. "Best friends: we've known each other for years!"
"Yeah, sure… Friends," Emily scoffed, moving her hair out of her eyes with a sharp movement. "If she was just your friend, you wouldn't mind being with me while she's there! You barely look at me if she's in the same room…"
"That's because-"
"Yeah, you don't like being affectionate in public," she quoted him with a mocking tone. "No, you don't like being affectionate in front of her." Leo recoiled slightly at the vehemence in her voice. "I saw the way you look at her, the way you just seem to hang on to every word she says..."
Leo didn't say a word as Emily just described his interactions with Simmons. The bitter harshness of her tone when she spoke about Simmons made him cringe. How hadn't he noticed this before?
"How does she do it?" Leo looked at her in confusion and she laughed snarkily. "Honestly, how does she manage to string along two guys like she does?"
"She's not-" Leo felt a tingle of anger in his veins.
"Really? She's dating a guy now, isn't she? And then what? She come back to your apartment -that I've never seen after three months!- and fools around with you?"
"We don't fool around!" Leo said heatedly. Emily was implying things about Simmons that were making his blood boil. "And she's not like that."
"Oh, of course… How dare I say something bad about dear Simmons? Little Miss Perfect with her two PhDs… Is she even that smart? Or do you do the work and the credit goes to her by default? Is FitzSimmons nothing more than her elaborate way to climb the social hierarchy in SHIELD? She could be fooling you for her own benefit…"
"Simmons is not-" His ears were ringing now. How could she accuse Simmons of being so sly and manipulative?
Emily's eyes hardened.
"How did she manage to get you so whipped? She must be good at whatever she's doing with you to make you be like this. We're not doing anything more than teenagers would, so she must be doing the rest with you. She must be practised as hell since she's doing it with you and the other guy.."
"Stop it," Leo felt the blood rush into his ears. Emily's words just made him angry; it wasn't even because of the implied accusation of him being unfaithful. It was because she accused Simmons of being something she was not..
He couldn't stand that.
Their fight turned into a shouting match and at the end, Emily gave him an ultimatum.
"It's either me or her."
He liked Emily, he truly did. He might have fallen in love with her at some point... maybe...
If he ever managed to sort out his feelings.
But she had insulted his best friend, the girl that had been by his side since he was fifteen.
And she asked him to leave Jemma: that would never be an option for him. Feelings aside, she was too entwined to his life to part from her.
It would mean losing a part of himself.
Emily didn't understand that: she just saw Simmons as the best friend, girl friend, who had his mind and heart in a jumble. Emily did know anything about them and their history. She couldn't (wouldn't) understand.
The breakup was quick and Leo told her that he didn't want to see her. He managed to avoid her at Sci-Ops and, thankfully, they didn't end up working together again.
That had happened two months ago. And one month ago, Simmons and Eisen had broken up for reasons that he ignored. The two were still on good terms and the physicist still dropped by their lab to say hello and talk with her.
Rather than easing his mind, their breakup had left Leo with a feeling of unease. He lived with the fear that at some point, Simmons would get back together with Eisen.
Definitely this time.
"Leo?"
He looked up abruptly, shaking his head to dispel the flood of thoughts that had invaded his mind. Alison was staring at him, concern clear in her brown eyes.
For one fleeting second, Leo felt the urge to spill all of his doubts and fears to his sister. He felt like a little boy again, scared that he was going to do something wrong.
But he couldn't do it. He honestly didn't know how to define and express his feelings for Simmons, let alone, explain them to anyone and get advice.
"Just got lost in thought," he said, clearing his throat slightly and forcing a smile on his face. Alison wasn't convinced at all: he could clearly tell by the look on her face but she didn't press on.
She just stared at him for a moment, searchingly, before picking another waistcoat from the rack and approached him, measuring the garment on him.
Leo knew that she wouldn't let him be: she knew that something was worrying him and she wouldn't allow him to get away with it. Especially now that she knew how he had hidden things to her in the past.
"This looks good," she murmured after a while, looking at the dark vest in her hand and then looked up at him. Leo was surprised to see a glint of understanding in her eyes.
He watched his sister absently skim the hangers in the aisle, looking thoughtful. Leo was worried that she could be thinking that he was hiding things from her again and thought about a way to explain himself.
So her next statement surprised him completely.
"Did you know that I didn't want to be with Alec at the start?"
Leo blinked.
"What?"
Alison looked at him, smiling slightly.
"Well, you know that the MacDaniels were old friends of Dad's," she said. "I've known Alec before you were even born: we've been in the same classes together and we were friends. As we grew up, he turned out to be a bit of the popular bloke, doing sports and such."
"You were popular too," Leo retorted, not completely sure of where she was going with this talk. "You had lots of friends: I remember that."
"I had friends...," Alison corrected him, smiling sadly. "I had friends as every person should have at school." Leo blinked, realising that he was being biased merely for the fact that he had been alone and he nodded slowly.
"Anyway... We were friends: we went out with our common group of friends, laughed and had a good time together. And then... well, Dad died and things got...complicated."
Complicated was an understatement.
Their entire life had changed, leaving them in a mess of broken feelings and pain. He had been only eight at the time but he clearly remembered what happened in the house.
His dad gone, his mum still in hospital, recovering from the injury, his uncle and aunt taking care of them and the three of them...lost. Leo recalled spending nights crying on his bed wondering why his brother avoided him, missing his mother and (even more) his father and being taken to school by his sister who suddenly looked older and that smiled forcibly at him.
Something must have shown on his face because Alison smiled wryly.
"Of course, you know about it," she said softly. "But, you were still so small, so I don't know if you remember Alec's mum and dad coming over to help Uncle Sean and Aunt Anne. Liam single handedly rebuilt the guest room so that it could become Mum's new room and added the ramps around the house: he didn't even want to get paid for that. Kendra helped Mum for weeks when she came back from the hospital." Ali sighed softly. "It was all too much for Mum: losing Dad, being paralysed waist down and wanting to take care of us, be closer to us but being unable to do it. It was too much."
Leo nodded, memories getting to him as he remembered how his mother was just...off when she came back from the hospital. She had spent weeks in bed, barely speaking or eating.
He had been worried as a child, worried that his mum would go away and disappear just like his dad. Now, he knew that his mother had fallen in depression and that speaking to doctors, friends and then relying on her own strong-willed character helped her out of it.
Leo looked at his sister who was seemingly lost in thoughts and wondered what was happening. This was probably the first time that they openly talked about that time.
"Why are you telling me this now, Ali?" He asked, wondering if she was hiding something from him. Could their mother be ill? She seemed fine to him in these days, wonderfully happy to have the family at home. "What's going on?"
"Nothing is going on," she reassured him with a smile. "Mum's fine: she works and takes care of Kirstin and Kyle whenever she can, spoiling them rotten." Leo smiled despite himself as she mentioned her children. "I just realised that after Dad's death... we all started to shut our feelings away. We coped in different ways, grieved differently and yet... We feared to get closer to people, didn't allow anyone to really see us vulnerable. We didn't want to get too close and suffer again."
Leo's eyes widened.
Wasn't this what he was doing right now? Not wanting to get closer to Jemma, not allowing himself to imagine them as a couple in the fear that if it didn't work the loss would be too large?
"Alec and Heather tried to help me in every way when I got back to school," Alison continued, probably ignoring his stunned expression. "Alec spent a lot of time at our house, helping his father and mother. We started studying together and spending time on our own. Heather would tease me for hours, telling me that I was falling for him and I'd deny everything. I think Kyle bothered Alec in the same way..." Alison smiled fondly as she spoke about their best friends since school. Heather and Kyle (who Alec cared for as a brother and had named his son after) had married shortly after his sister and were her twins' godparents.
Leo smiled slightly even though he was noticing too many similarities in Ali's tale.
"When we were fifteen, some idiot at school insulted me. I don't even remember why he started doing it but he badgered me for a while. I told him to go the hell away and leave me alone but he didn't and then he started to badmouth Mum and you..." Alison's eyes blazed for a moment and Leo gritted his teeth. He could imagine that his sister must have gone through her own share of teasing and cruel jokes by the hands of some morons because of her mother and her class-skipping-genius brother.
"I was going to turn and seriously fight him... I was angry, almost at a breaking point. I had tried my best to keep it up and be strong for Mum and you and Bryce's sake but... I was slowly crumbling. That idiot's words just grated on my nerves and I was probably going to end up in a lot of trouble... And then Alec dashed past me, stopping me from doing anything, and started arguing with the bloke. Then a teacher came along and the whole thing was dispersed without consequences. I was still trembling in anger, all of my feelings a mess and close to a breakdown. Alec noticed it because he walked me out to a quiet place on the school grounds and just allowed me to cry my eyes out." Alison paused and Leo stared at her: he was finally getting a glimpse of his sister during those days while she feigned to be strong but was really just a teenage girl wanting to be weak.
She looked at him and her eyes softened slightly.
"I might have started to realise that I liked him then, when he allowed me to cry and just hugged me without saying anything," She smiled wryly. "I didn't tell him though... He was one of my best friends: I was terrified that something could go wrong. So when he actually asked me out weeks later, rather than being elated, I just went mental thinking about all the ways things could go badly... and I refused. I knew I hurt him then: Alec didn't say a word and accepted it quite nicely but I knew I hurt him. We acted as though nothing happened but things were slightly...edgy."
Leo swallowed dryly.
He remembered the first weeks at the Academy when he and Simmons lived in different rooms and couldn't manage to make eye contact or even accidentally touch each other without blushing or feeling uncomfortable.
All after their shared kiss.
It was a lot better now: they had fallen back into their old dynamics and their constant working together had made them even more seamless than before.
The discomfort would usually appear when someone teased them too blatantly... or when they were too close at times.
There were more unsaid things between them now...
"He started to come less often to our house -mainly to study- and we hung around less together. I... I honestly started to miss him and even though I hated myself for causing this rift, I didn't do anything to mend it. At some point, I heard a gossip in school that Alec was dating or seeing someone. I think that was the point when I realised just how stupid I had been and that... I'd lost him."
Alison stared at Leo and he stared back, heart thumping in his chest.
Wasn't this the same situation he was finding himself in right now?
He didn't want to -didn't dare to- take that step forward in his relationship with Jemma and then Eisen had appeared. And even now that they had broken up, his ghost lingered, making Fitz understand that he could lose his best friend to the other man at any moment if he came back to her or if she went back to him.
How did Alison even know?
He had hadn't talked about Emily to anyone. Simmons was the only one that knew about her. He never spoke about his conflicted feelings towards Jemma... Then how...?
Ali smiled slightly.
"I'm just guessing here," she said lightly. "You and Jemma are awfully easily to tease but you're also extremely hard to question. I've noticed, while we talked on Skype, that you tend to be extremely vague when I ask if you see other people. Jemma has been odd, rambled a bit while I asked something and you were vague in the past months so I assume that you've both been dating other people." Leo blushed and his sister grinned. "Call it an elder sister's sixth sense."
Alison ran a hand through Leo's curls, ruffling them slightly. He was too stunned to protest.
"I can't tell you what to do, Leo, but I can tell you my own experience," she said softly. "We Fitz are sort of... emotionally compromised when it comes to close friendships and love. I made friends but didn't want to let anyone see the whole of my emotions, fears and doubts; Bryce transferred all of his pain into anger and tried to make friends, and found wrong ones. You... you bottled up your emotions and just shut everyone out, allowing me and Mum in every now and then...
It might have all been triggered after Dad's death but we just don't -can't seem to let ourselves go. We always seem to find all the things that could go wrong and not the positive sides."
Leo swallowed dryly, feeling something weigh on his chest but Alison smiled and he looked at her questioningly.
"Somehow, though, we managed to find some very tenacious people who like us despite our stubborn selves," she said with a grin. "And who don't give up on us...even when we seem to give up on ourselves."
Alison's fingertips lingered on the crown of his head, teasing his curls. Leo felt the motion soothing as much as he did when he was a child.
"Alec didn't give up on me," his sister continued. "He came back to me a few weeks after I pushed him away and just asked again, as though nothing had happened. I must have looked astonished or incredulous because he told me that he wouldn't stop trying until I gave him the chance to prove me wrong; he knew that I was scared, he knew my fears and he wanted to chase them away.
Do you know what Alec told me to convince me?" Leo shook his head. "He said that we've known each other for so long, we've been friends and care for each other. Why do you think that we'll hurt each other if we became more than friends?" Alison smiled, eyes taking a soft look that appeared only when she spoke of Alec. "He made it seem as though whatever path we chose together, even if there were problems, we'd face them together and get through them all. I was still terrified but I went out with him…
He didn't let me go….and still doesn't. Well… and here we are: married with two kids." Leo smiled and his sister mirrored him. "Bryce and Leslie went through a similar situation too. Our brother is stubborn as hell..but Leslie is tenacious. You wouldn't say it seeing her, would you?" Leo shook his head; he hadn't spoken much to his new sister in law but from what he could say, she was a strong, intelligent and an overly nice person.
What she saw in his brother was beyond him...
"As for you..."
"Alison..." Leo frowned slightly at his sister's grin, knowing what she was going to say.
"Oh...I don't mean to say anything..." Alison said, looking a little too innocent for Leo's tastes. "Just because Bryce and I married our tenacious person, doesn't mean you have to as well."
Leo tried with his best efforts to keep Simmons out of his mind. The last thing he needed now was to shamble his brain with an image of her in a wedding dress...
With him in the picture too.
"I'm just saying that she cares. A lot. She's the one that took a train for hours just to come here and knock some sense in your head after you decided that you wanted to stay here and not go to that specialised school in America,"
Leo tried not to nod in agreement as his thoughts went back to that moment: Jemma had literally hopped on a train and come to Glasgow without giving any explanation to her parents. Then they both appeared at her house the day after with Leo carrying his suitcase after having spent the night travelling to Sheffield by train. He never really stopped to think of what her parents had thought about all of that...
"And she's the one that decided to spend her holidays with you, as she has always done for years, and not with her parents in France."
Alison's knowing smile made Leo blush and he took a step back away from her and looked away to allow his face to cool down.
The Simmons' had been invited to spend Christmas and New Year in Lyon with Jemma's aunt and her family. The invitation had included Jemma herself but she refused, explaining that she had to be in America by the twenty-ninth and couldn't stay for the whole length of her parents' stay.
They had stayed at her house in Sheffield for a few days before her parents' departure and then came to Glasgow by train.
He knew that she missed being with her parents and would have loved spending Christmas with her entire family...and yet she came with him and spent the holidays with his family.
Leo tried not to think about what that meant...
He looked at his sister and found Alison staring at him with a knowing look. She ran a hand through his hair again and leaned forward until their heads touched.
"I know that it is frightening," she whispered. "You feel as though everything could crumble to dust if you make a mistake. But be brave, Leo. You'll understand your feelings..."
"Yeah?" He asked despite himself, feeling every little bit vulnerable.
"Yeah," Alison confirmed. "Don't give up... I'm sure she's worth it."
Leo didn't reply and just swallowed dryly again.
Alison smiled, ruffling his hair and then looked behind him, grinning.
"There you are!" She exclaimed, stepping away from her brother. "I thought you got lost somewhere, Jemma."
Leo turned around and saw Simmons standing near a rack of shirts.
"No, I just saw a few things," she replied, absently. Her eyes found his and lingered. Leo could clearly see the silent question in them along with concern.
She must have seen him and Alison talking closely before...
She approached him while Alison murmured that she'd be in line to pay for Leo's clothes and walked over to the cashier.
"Is everything alright?" Simmons asked softly, looking up at him.
Leo looked at her and smiled.
"Yeah," he replied. "Alison was just being... overly affectionate and sisterly."
She stared at him for a moment: she probably didn't believe him entirely, he could say by the way she arched a brow at him but had decided to let it go.
"Right..." she said, smiling slightly.
Yeah...she definitely didn't believe him.
"Where did you go?" He asked and noticed that she was clutching two small hangers behind her back. One good look at the clothes and he grinned. "Oh."
"I just thought that Kirstin and Kyle would look really cute in these," she admitted, grinning back as she showed him the red and blue pyjamas with all sorts of animal footprints printed on them.
"Wait till Alison sees them..."
"You'll distract her while I go and pay for these, yeah?."
"Will you do the same when I go to the toy store?"
"Deal."
Both shared a grin and walked over to Alison.
-:-
"You do realise that you are a serious menace to our parenthood experience, right?"
Alison grumbled as they got out of the car and through the front gate, carrying bags after their shopping trip. She shot a dark look at Leo and Jemma.
"We didn't get them anything for Christmas," he said, swaying the bag that he carried: he had brought a box of soft building blocks for Kyle and a large-pieced puzzle for Kirstin. He was sure that they'd like them.
"We didn't have time to buy them anything," Jemma added, holding the smaller bag. "We were too busy with work."
"Seriously?" Alison looked at them in bewilderment. "You got them those two storybooks and two colouring books. They will be happy and busy for days with them." She deadpanned them. "I swear... Once you have kids, I'll spoil them rotten and you'll have to endure weeks of 'Auntie Alison is wonderful and buys me lots of presents'."
Leo felt a blush invade his face as he connected the word kids with him and Simmons but decided not to linger on the statement. Ali was just being... generic, right?
He was looking into this too much.
He glanced at his partner and saw that her cheeks had taken a pinkish hue that he was sure wasn't due to the cold.
Muttering to herself, Alison walked through the light snow and opened the front door. They had barely made inside when they heard a quick pitter-patter of footsteps and two little, jacket bundled blurs launched themselves against Ali's legs.
"Mummy!" "You're back!"
Alison swayed slightly, pulling the bags high up, almost at her height and laughed, all moodiness gone. She dropped the bags on the couch and crouched down, brushing a kiss on her children's heads.
A warm smile quirked his lips as he saw the undiluted love on his sister's face when she looked at the little boy and girl in front of her. His mum was by the kitchen door, looking at the scene with an equally adoring look.
"Did you behave with Grandma?" Ali asked, cupping one of their cheeks with her hands and stroking softly with her thumbs.
"Yes, Mummy," Kirstin replied brightly. Kyle nodded in earnest next to her.
"Grandma gave us cake," he said gleefully and then quickly added. "But we ate a small piece so we'll eat dinner." He looked quite proud of himself.
Alison grinned and looked up at their mother who smiled.
"Now that's my good boy and girl," she stated and the children beamed.
Fitz turned to Simmons and they shared a smile. He glanced at the toys in the bags he was carrying and arched a brow at her.
She understood his silent query and shook her head.
"Later," she mouthed and put the bags on the couch and he followed suit.
The children looked up when they moved and stopped telling their mum about their adventures at home with their grandmother. Moving as one, the twins bustled towards him.
"Uncle Leo," Kyle said, reaching up to tug on his coat. "Will you come out and play with us?"
"Yes, Uncle Leo," Kirstin added. "You promised to make a snow house."
Leo crouched down and grinned at the hopeful faces looking at him.
From the moment Alison and Alec had announced that they were going to be parents, he had been elated for them and keen to see and meet his new family members.
But he had never expected to feel the deep emotion in his chest when he first held his niece and nephew; he didn't think that he'd love them so quickly.
He didn't get to see them often but Kirstin and Kyle cared for him with genuine affection too. It made him feel happy in a way that was almost new to him.
"Of course," he replied. "We'll build a fort, yeah? So no one can beat you when you throw snow balls."
"Yes!" the twins said in unison, throwing their mittened hands up in the air and making the three women in the room laugh.
"Come on then," Leo said, standing up. "You're ready to go out in the snow?" He had already noticed that his mother had bundled them up against the cold.
The twins nodded eagerly. Kirstin then turned to Simmons and tugged her by her coat.
"You're coming with us too, right Auntie Jemma?" She asked.
"Please," Kyle added.
Simmons smiled softly at the two children.
"Of course," she replied. "I'll help Uncle Leo build your fort." She grinned at Fitz and he mirrored her expression.
"Yes and please, don't make him build something that Alec and I can't replicate," Alison remarked, crouching down again to tighten the jackets, scarves and hats on her children. "Otherwise, we'll end up with another 'Drawing situation'"
Leo snorted.
Since they got to Glasgow a few days before Christmas Eve, he and Simmons had spent most of their time with the twins while Alison, Alec and his mother were at work.
The children had asked them to draw some things so that they could colour them and they had obliged. Years of blueprints had given him a steady hand and he could easily draw vehicles and other objects. And if he tried, he could replicate another drawing or painting.
Simmons used to draw too: he had seen hundreds of little pencil pictures of samples and biological elements on her notes. She was pretty good at drawing flowers and animals.
They ended up handing dozens of papers to the twins who joyfully coloured them. However, when their parents were back home, Kirstin and Kyle had showed them their pencil coloured masterpieces and had innocently asked them to draw them more things when he and Simmons would leave.
The panicked look that crossed Alison and Alec's face almost made Leo choke with laughter but he had pity of them. He and Simmons spent a night in his room, filling up a sketchbook with pictures of cars, planes, ships, flowers and animals to give them.
He heard Simmons laugh softly beside him and he grinned.
"Don't worry," she said, looking at him. "I'll make sure that he doesn't build anything too elaborate..."
"Let's go!" The twins took hold of him and Simmons' hands and dragged them outside.
-:-
Leo landed on a soft carpet of snow under the big oak tree in his house's backyard as he was tackled to the ground by Kyle, Kirstin and a large ball of snow.
"Ooof, I surrender, I surrender," he choked out, laughing. "You win."
He heard two gleeful cheers and sat up as the twins grinned at him. He could clearly see Simmons standing a little behind them, barely hiding a grin and very snow-free, unlike him.
After building the snow fort, the twins started throwing snowballs at each other and then -out of the blue- they allied with Simmons and started pelting Fitz.
"Alright," he said, wiping some snow off his face. "Why are you only attacking me and not her?" He pointed at Simmons.
The twins turned to look at his partner and then turned around shaking their heads.
"Daddy said that boys shouldn't fight girls," Kyle answered with a matter of fact tone. Leo didn't know whether to laugh or be proud: he really had to tell this to Alec...
"And Auntie Jemma said that if we won, you'll give us a present," Kirstin added with a beam.
"Oh... Did she?" He looked at his partner with an arched brow. She looked away, hand over her mouth to muffle her laughter. "So she told you that and you attacked me?"
The twins nodded and Leo mock sighed.
"Ah I knew it," he said sadly. "You like her more than me."
He meant it as a tease but when he saw the appalled, wide-eyed look that appeared on the twins' faces, he rushed to correct himself immediately.
"I was jok-" Two tiny sets of arms wound up tight against his neck, knocking the air out of him.
"Nooo, we like you, Uncle Leo!" they exclaimed together."Very, very, very, very much."
Leo laughed, ignoring the lump in his throat at the evident love the children were showing him. He wrapped his arms around them, hands resting on the back of their heads.
They were so small...
He barely remembered how he had been at their age but he knew that he was loved by his parents -both at the time- and his brother and sister.
Christmas meant family and games, presents and fun... Kirstin and Kyle would always have that: he was sure that Alec and Alison would never give them anything less.
And so would he...
"I know, I know," he conceded, ruffling their sandy brown hair. "I was only teasing. You know what? I have an idea."
Two sets of green eyes settled on his with curiosity.
"Why don't you build two snowmen in front of the fort? To guard it? Then ask Mum if she likes them," He grinned as the twins nodded again. It had been an old game of theirs when they he was younger: he, Alison and Bryce would build a snowman and their parents would judge them and give the best one a price. They had stopped that old tradition shortly after his dad died and despite Alison's best attempts to keep it going; it might be time to restore it... "Then, me and Auntie Jemma will give you a present."
"Yeah! You're the best, Uncle Leo!" The twins cheered and sped past Simmons, informing her of their task and set to work. Fitz looked at the kids fondly and then up at his partner who had approached him.
She was looking at him oddly. It was a soft look, mixed with some emotion that he couldn't define, a look that she'd given him often lately.
He tilted his head to a side, silently asking what was wrong and she shook her head, eyes clearing up instantly and smiled, sitting down on the snow next to him, under the shade of the tree.
His eyes didn't leave her and she stared back.
"What?" She asked.
"You're pensive," he replied, and shook his head after running a hand through his hair to get rid of the snow.
"Fitz!" Simmons was showered by icy droplets and tried to shield herself with her hands. He grinned when he saw the ice bits in her hair as well and she glared at him. "You're terrible."
"You're the one to talk... You bribed two three years old with the promise of a gift."
She rolled her eye
"And you guilted them to make them hug you," Simmons retorted. He sputtered.
"I did not!"
"You did," She smirked at him. "You were jealous that they didn't pelt me with snow."
"I'm still the best uncle," he scoffed, ignoring her last statement. "You try keeping your favourite aunt position..."
Simmons looked at him and then shook her head, smiling softly.
"What?" He asked. She glanced at him.
"I just thought that I... I never really imagined that I'd be someone's aunt," she said. "My two cousins are younger than me and I don't have siblings... I'd never thought I'd be called like that..."
He blinked at the soft yearning behind her voice. She had always wanted a brother or sister: she had told him more than once when they were younger.
"Oh well, we worked that out, didn't we?" He stated, stretching his legs in front of him. "Alec and Alison pretty much adopted you from the moment they met you and the twins... Well, they decided you were their aunt and that's that."
"Yeah," she laughed and he smiled as he saw the fond look on her face. When Kirstin and Kyle had first called her Auntie Jemma during a conversation on Skype, he saw the way she had blushed in embarrassment and flattery.
He was glad that she was so close to his family. He was glad that she cared as much as they did.
Although it didn't help his emotions. Everything just got more and more confusing…
They sat in silence for a while, watching the twins as they built their snowmen. Leo started to slowly brush snow off his clothes. He soon realised that he was pretty much drenched: a shower was the only solution here.
"Are you alright?"
Fitz turned to his side and found Simmons staring at him, chin resting on her drawn knees. She was smiling uncertainly and her eyes had a soft look that made his heart flip awkwardly in his chest.
"W-what?" He managed to say without tripping on his words. She honestly shouldn't be affecting him this much; bloody hell, he should know better after all these years...
"You've been odd in these days: withdrawn and absent in more than one moment... It's not just your brother being here," She looked at him, wry smile on her face. He knew that she was thinking about his little moment with Alison at the shopping centre. "If there's something wrong-"
"Nothing is wrong," he replied immediately.
"-you'd tell me, yeah?" She finished, ignoring his interjection. She bit her lip. "If you don't want to go to the Sci-Ops party-"
"No, it's fine," he said. When she looked at him with a disbelieving stare, he quickly added, "Really, Simmons. It's alright. Ali just wanted to talk a bit... We never really had a chance to do that in a while..." The fact that they talked about her and his not-so-hidden-feelings, was irrelevant.
She stared at him and he knew that she wouldn't ask about their talk: she respected his privacy and wouldn't pry unless he said something about it.
However, he could see the concern in her eyes and felt the need to explain himself.
"We talked a bit about me not telling her everything during school, about confiding in Alec," he said. "She was pretty angry at me for that: we had to... talk."
Simmons nodded.
"And you're sure about this party?" She asked. "You know that I want to go because-"
"-you think that we should go to social events that involve most of our co-workers. I know."
"Yes... but I don't want you to be uneasy."
Leo glanced at her.
He didn't like parties because there usually was chaotic music, lots of people that he didn't know and very little entertainment.
The fact that he was going with Simmons was the only highlight.
But, yes, he was uneasy.
He was uneasy because he feared that she was going there to meet Eisen. Or maybe get a chance to see him. Talk to him.
Get back together.
Fitz knew that he had some very poorly justified fears. Simmons hadn't shown any sort of obvious interest towards Eisen after their breakup besides friendship.
But his heart was confused...and scared.
Sighing softly, Leo tried to unscramble his thoughts and turned to her, smiling slightly. There was no way that he would allow her to know his fears and worry for him.
"I won't be uneasy," he reassured her. "Parties are not my favourite thing, yes, but I'll manage." He smiled at her doubtful face. "Really, Simmons: don't worry."
"If you say so..."
A light breeze swept over them and Fitz looked up to the sky: it was probably going to snow again.
"What about you?" He asked, after another quiet moment. "Are you alright?"
"What?" Simmons looked confused. "Why do you ask?"
"It's the first Christmas in years that you're not with your parents; the first one since our freshmen year at MIT," He looked at her and smiled. "I know you miss them and you know that I wouldn't have minded if you wanted to spend the holidays with them and the rest of your family in France. You rarely get to see them."
She looked at him searchingly again and then shook her head.
"I'd rather be here," she said simply. "I don't even remember the last time I've spoken to my aunt or my cousins. We used to be close when we were children but we've sort of drifted away after they left for France and I went to America." Her eyes flitted up to his, delicate shade of amber looking at him softly. "Besides, I like staying with your family."
Leo blinked. Twice.
And then ignored the way his heart thumped in his chest for her words and stare.
"Oh-well, good to know," he said with a smile, smiling at her as he scratched the back of his neck: he was pleased and embarrassed and giddy altogether. "They like having you around too; especially Ali. She's probably glad that another girl came by to help her tolerate her brothers and Alec."
Simmons laughed softly and nudged his shoulder.
"Well, then, you should be glad that my family likes having you around," she remarked with a grin. "Dad in particular, desperately wanted another man around the house: he's had me, Mum and Gran around for too long. And let's not mention how Gran adores you."
Fitz grinned. Grandmother Simmons had taken a shine to him from their first meeting and Leo liked being coddled by her: it was like having a surrogate grandparent.
He was going to speak when he heard a dull thud and the sound of rustling from above them. Fitz looked up just in time to see a large lump of snow fall down from the branches above his head.
Without even stopping to think, he reached over to shield Simmons, hand behind her head and bringing her closer to his chest. He heard her surprised squeak as they were showered by a -thankfully soft- cold cloud of snow.
"Bloody-" Leo cursed under his breath and moved away from Simmons. He sensed her lavender shampoo despite the clean icy scent invading his nose and ignored the feelings coiling in his gut. "Are you alright?"
She looked at him and his lips twitched upwards: she was covered in white, snow in her hair and clothes. He realised that he was probably in the same condition.
Simmons laughed, shaking her head slightly and spraying snow around her and on him.
"Hey!" He protested, closing his eyes as icy droplets hit his face but he couldn't help but grin as he heard her laugh again, the sound bubbling out of her.
He had long learned that her smile and laugh could make his day and change his mood.
"Seriously? I thought that I'd find my three years old kids messing around in the snow. Not you, twenty-three year olds..."
Leo turned around and saw Alec grinning at them as he leaned against the tree's trunk. His brother-in-law looked awfully chipper.
"You did this," he said, eyes narrowing. The branches were full of snow and a careful hit could have sent enough tremors to allow a miniature avalanche like that...
"You have no proof," Alec drawled and walked away from them. "At the moment, I just see two grown-up kids smothered in snow."
Fitz turned to Simmons and found her glaring at Alec before turning to look at him. They shared a look and words weren't necessary.
"Alec?" She called and he turned around just to get a face full of snow, courtesy of Leo.
The snowball fight that started shortly after and that included two very happy Kirstin and Kyle lasted half the afternoon.
When they all got back into the house, sopping wet but grinning, Alison scolded Alec and Leo and looked at Jemma in bewilderment. As she ushered her children out the door to get them (and Alec) to their house to have a hot bath and change into dry clothes, Leo heard her mutter about being mother of two, having married a child and earned two other kids before calling out for their mum, saying that they'd be back for dinner.
FitzSimmons shared a glance and laughed.
-:-
Fitz walked downstairs feeling warm again after a good shower. He had allowed Simmons to go first when he saw her shivering.
It would be dinner time in a bit and he found most of the family gathered in the living room; his mum, he noticed, was still tinkering in the kitchen.
He immediately felt his good mood dampen when he saw Bryce sitting on the couch with Leslie nearby. His brother and wife were staying here in their childhood home but were out for most of day, visiting old friends; Leo was glad that he didn't have to deal with Bryce all the time...
Kirstin and Kyle were on the floor, playing with their new toys; puzzle pieces and building blocks were scattered on the rug in front of the fireplace. Alison and Alec were sitting on the armchairs near them, looking down at their children with a soft expression that made Leo smile.
His smile turned softer when he saw Jemma sitting on the floor near the twins, leaning against a side of Alec's armchair and occasionally helping Kirstin with the puzzle.
There was an intimacy in that scene, of her being so comfortable with his family, that made his heart lurch in his chest and filled him with an odd tender longing.
Fitz realised that he had walked into the room while the others were having some sort of discussion: he noticed the frown on Bryce's face, the embarrassed look on Leslie's features and the bright blush on Simmons' cheeks while Alec was smiling.
The smile turned into a grin when Leo approached them and sat on a chair nearby.
Alison noticing her husband's look, rolled her eyes and shot a frustrated glance at her brother that clearly said 'Don't ask.'
"Alright," Ali said, getting down on her knees. "Let's work this out since someone's so annoyed about it." She turned to look at Bryce who frowned again as she rolled her eyes. Leo didn't have a clue of what was going on but Alec's lips were quirking upwards again.
"Kirstin, Kyle," she said, getting the twins' attention. "Remember when Daddy and I explained you you how to call people that are older than you?"
The children nodded.
"Mister and Missus," they said.
"Alright..." She pointed at Leo. "How do you call him?"
Kirstin and Kyle stared at their mother as though she'd just gone mental.
"Uncle Leo!" They answered together.
"Why do you call him uncle?"
"Because... he's Uncle Leo," Kyle replied with his matter of fact tone. Alec choked, stifling a laugh and Leo had to hide a grin when Ali glared at them. Kyle definitely got that from Alec...
"Because he's your brother, Mummy," Kirstin said. Leo grinned and thanked the stars for the women in his family: they definitely saved the men from embarrassing themselves.
"Exactly," Ali said with a smile. "And same goes for-" She pointed at Bryce.
"Uncle Bryce!" The twins said together and Bryce smiled slightly. The twins had forgotten their toys and were fully concentrated on Alison: they probably thought that their mum was pulling out a new game for them.
"Right... What about Daddy's brother?"
"Uncle Colin," Colin had come over to visit a couple of days ago: he was graduating in mechanical engineering and Leo was thinking to give his name to TechData, the company where he'd done an apprenticeship during MIT.
"And his sisters?"
"Auntie Elise and Auntie Grace," Alec's younger sister were both at Uni in Glasgow: one studying Economics and the other Literature; Leo had never had talked to them as much as he talked to Colin but they were always friendly.
"Good," Ali smiled. "Now...I also told you that you can call Uncle or Auntie someone that's not Mummy or Daddy's brother or sister, yeah? Like Auntie Heather and Uncle Kyle?"
The twins nodded as she mentioned her and Alec's best friends. Leo was finally getting a grasp of where the whole discussion was going.
"Now... How do you call her?" She pointed at Simmons.
"Auntie Jemma!" The children enthusiast tone made Leo smile. He noticed the fond smile on Simmons' face as well.
"Alright... and her?" She pointed over to Leslie.
"Mrs. Leslie," Alison sighed as they said this and shot a glance at Bryce who frowned again. Leslie looked slightly embarrassed but smiled and put a hand on his shoulder, murmuring something but he shook his head.
Alec was fighting against his quirking lips and Leo couldn't help but relate to his hilarity and he snorted. The look on his brother's face made him want to laugh out loud but he was restraining himself for the sake of Leslie (whom he liked despite knowing her so little) and Simmons who looked mortified.
"No, you get to call her Auntie Leslie," Alison explained.
Kirstin and Kyle shared a glance, almost trying to figure out what their mum was saying.
"But... we don't know her." "We just met her."
The retorts came out in a confused tone and Leo could understand why the whole ordeal wasn't making any sense to the children.
"I know, loves," Alison said slowly. "But Leslie is married to Uncle Bryce: she's his wife. So she's your new auntie." Seeing the look the twins had on the faces, she quickly added. "Let's say that Leslie has become my new sister, yeah? So, you can call her auntie."
His sister looked at the dark haired woman behind her and smiled; Leslie smiled broadly, nodding slightly. Leo realised that the two must have often talked and started to be friends despite living in two different cities.
The twins seemed to be mulling over their mother's words but didn't look thoroughly convinced. As on cue, they turned to look at Simmons who blinked in surprise.
"So Auntie Jemma is your new sister too?" Kyle asked.
"-Er- well..." Alison was suddenly speechless and Alec snorted, earning a glare from her. "Well, she's Uncle Leo's friend and we've known her for a long time so... yeah, she's like a sister by now."
Ali shot a grin at Jemma who smiled back, looking very touched. Leo smiled at their interaction, ignoring the little twinge in his heart at the thought of Simmons actually becoming Alison's new sister: the thought had appeared as a faint image in his head whenever he saw Simmons interact with his family.
"We've known her since she was a little girl," Alec said, ruffling Simmons' hair in an affectionate manner and she looked up at him, wrinkling her nose but smiling.
"You can call Jemma, Auntie even though she's Uncle Leo's friend,"Ali said. "But you have to call Leslie, Auntie because she's Uncle Bryce's wife."
Kirstin looked at Simmons and then at him with her head tilted to a side. Blinking, Fitz glanced at his partner who looked just as confused as he was.
Alison noticed her daughter's actions and chuckled softly, guessing her thoughts
"No, sweetheart," she said, barely hiding the laughter in her tone. "Auntie Jemma is not Uncle Leo's wife."
That did it for Alec who snorted loudly before giving in to loud laughter. Leo felt his face burn and was sure that it matched the brilliant shade of red of Simmons' face.
But it was Alison's tone and not her words that flustered him: the hidden and barely there 'yet' at the end of her sentence that sent his mind and heart in a messy jumble.
Oh Hell...
-:-
Later that night, Leo was sitting on the couch, rifling through an old magazine while his thoughts sped in his mind.
They were leaving for Boston tomorrow afternoon and he'll spend half of his birthday with his family before going to the airport. His thoughts lingered on the faces of the twins who had gone a bit teary when they learned that he and Simmons would be leaving the next day.
They had both been tackle hugged and managed to disentangle their small arms from their necks only after promising that they'd visit soon.
However, Leo didn't know how soon that would be...
These two weeks of holiday had been given to them after months of working non-stop; their last vacation had been the previous Christmas and it was only for five days.
Fitz was proud to be so appreciated by SHIELD and that his work with Simmons was fundamental in many missions but he'd also like to leave every now and then.
He could see his mother, sister and brother in law more often, spend time with his niece and nephew...
He wondered if he wasn't wanting too much.
SHIELD had given him the possibility to work in a modern and fully equipped lab along with Simmons. They created devices and prototypes together that might have been silly dreams in any other lab.
He got to spend his days and free hours at their apartment in Boston, being together if neither were occupied with someone else. There had been countless nights where they talked during meals or on the couch in their living room where they usually watched films and tv shows. Or they just read in silence or stayed out in the terrace, watching the view of the harbour by night.
It was similar to their days at MIT and yet so different.
He should be grateful for what he had.
He heard approaching footsteps and looked up to see Simmons smiling at him. He smiled back as she sat next to him, curling her legs beneath her.
"Packed already?" He asked and she nodded.
"Yes, I don't want to waste time tomorrow morning. You packed pretty quickly..."
"Yeah..." He didn't want to confess that he'd messily stuffed his suitcase but her knowing look made him realise that she probably knew...
They stayed for a few moments, watching the fireplace and the shadows created in the orange light.
"What's on your mind?" Simmons asked after a bit, turning in the couch so that she would be facing him. He tilted his head towards her.
"Nothing much..." he said. "Just wondering what will await us once we're back at the lab."
"Besides a few inches worth of paper work?" She asked, scrunching her nose a bit. "I suppose another few reports of missions and requests of help on other assignments."
Fitz groaned slightly, running a hand through his hair.
"Good thing that we're in vacation until the fourth," he mused. "I'd rather not think of working constantly until... who-knows-how-long."
Simmons giggled softly.
"It's our fault really," she said teasingly. "We work too well. We've got SHIELD used to having FitzSimmons solve anything they throw at us."
He grinned at her and nodded.
There were rumours of them being promoted again: becoming Level 4 agents would mean granting access to more classified information and being involved in higher level assignments.
"Imagine how much more we could do if we become Level 4," she added and he smiled at her. Of course, she'd be thinking the same as him.
"More elaborate devices..." he said.
"More interesting assignments... Maybe even something extraterrestrial!" He grinned at her enthusiasm. "We might truly create something that could save lives..."
She looked at him with wide eyes, amber flecked with the orange reflection of the fire; her features were enveloped in a soft glow that made her look so...
Beautiful wasn't even enough to describe her.
He felt the sudden urge to move forward and bring her closer to him; he imagined tangling his fingers in her honey coloured hair, melding their lips together...
He wanted to get closer...and yet forced himself to not move at all.
Something must have transpired on his face because she looked at him searchingly again before arching a brow in query. He shook his head, smiling slightly.
They stayed in silence for another bit and Fitz felt tiredness seeping deep in his bones as he got used to the warmth coming from the fireplace. He closed his eyes, promising himself that it was only for a few minutes but he slowly felt sleep taking over.
Some time after, he felt something warm curl against his side, felt a light weight on his shoulder and it was the sudden waft of lavender that made him surely identify Simmons and realise that she was falling asleep next to him.
"We should go up," he whispered drowsily, wanting to open his eyes and move but not willing his body to do so.
"Hmm," she hummed sleepily. "It's warm here."
"Hmm..." She had a valid point.
A distant chime echoed a little while later, making its way into his sleepy and barely aware mind: it was midnight. He was trying to decide whether to stand up or just sleep there, when he felt Simmons move beside him, fingers curling softly on his bicep.
"Fitz?" He turned to her, peeling his eyes open. The sight of her sleepy smile and soft look made him wake up slightly, heart thumping in his chest.
"Happy Birthday," she whispered and leant forward, brushing a soft kiss on his jaw.
He wondered how she couldn't hear his heart beating loudly in his chest. And he was immensely glad that despite common belief, she couldn't read his mind because all of his brain power was telling him to lean down and kiss her.
He couldn't do that without ruining them...
Leo smiled, ignoring his head and heart.
"Thank you," he said and she smiled back, an unknown emotion quickly flickering in her eyes before he could identify it.
They didn't move but just stayed there on the couch, cuddled against each other before slowly drifting asleep.
Leo felt her hands tightening against his arm and felt his resolve grow stronger.
He'll live with what he had with her as long as he could.
He wouldn't ruin them.
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