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Forget
To forget the past is easy, but to live, it is hard.
I can't help but notice, all of my mistakes.
Nothing I do turns out right, I'm a mess, so I forget.
I forget all the lies that I put up, I forget something for the day.
I hope to forget by the end of the day.
I don't understand, I run out of fright.
I'm lucky to forget both day and night.
Allen's Point of View…
When I got to Kanda's house I saw him at the front door, waiting for me. I smiled and walked up the steps. Kanda turned and opened the door, motioning me inside.
"Can we watch movie?!" I looked at Kanda, and thought I saw him smile. "Che whatever you want." I pouted. "But Kandaaaa! I want you to watch it with me."
I knew that he hated watching movies, but honestly, we never had time for each other anymore. He sighed, seeing that he wasn't going to get out of this.
"Fine. What do you want to watch?" I bounced on the couch. "Hmm I don't know. Oh maybe we should watch the new anime I started. Its called D-Grayman."
He nodded and I grabbed the remote, turning it on. (Ha ha okay so I had to add this. Same characters, a little bit different and different names.)
"I think that Kana is just like you." Kanda sat next to me and smirked. "What kind of name in Kana?" I pouted. "He's a samurai." I pulled my feet up under me and we began to watch.
A few hours later…. I yawned and looked outside. "Crap its really late!" I thought to myself. I looked around and noticed that Kanda was gone. He walked back into the room, looking at me.
"Finally awake? Do you want to stay the night? I really don't want you to drive at night. Remember what happened last time?" I gulped and nodded, remembering my accident.
"Sure! I'll stay out here on the couch but I don't have any dry clothes." Earlier during the "movie"… "Kanda do you have any water?" I asked quietly. "Yeah. It's in the kitchen." I nodded and got up, walking into the kitchen.
When I tried the sink, it sprayed me all over, leaving me soaking wet…. Back to the present… He laughed quietly. I pouted up at him. "Alright just a second." He said, smiling slightly and going down the hall to his room.
He came back with one of his shirts and a pair of his boxers. "Here. I know that my pants won't fit you." I smiled and nodded. He walked into the kitchen and I quickly changed.
I was sitting on the couch when he came in. "M-Moyashi?!" I looked up at him and tilted my head. I watched as his face turned red and he covered his mouth.
"What is it? Do I look bad?" He shook his head and came closer to me. He sat down next to me and then he leaned over and kissed me. "No you look cute."
I blushed. His clothes were super baggy on my skinny frame and he still thought I was cute. "Goodnight Kanda." I said, leaning up and kissing him. He smiled at me and went sown to his room.
IN ALLEN'S DREAM….. MWHAHAHAHAHA…OKAY…CONTINUE ON….
I was in the house with Kanda when we heard the door slam open. He leaned over and kissed me gently. Master walked in more drunk than usual.
"So I see you got yourself a little girlfriend huh?" Kanda glared at him. "Oh she's and guy? Ha you're worse than I am you slut." He said, grabbing a knife and stabbing Kanda with it in the heart.
"I'll always love you Allen. Even if you stab me in the heart." I looked down and saw his blood on my hands. I was holding the knife. I watched as he fell over, slowly dying….
I woke up screaming. I stopped and jumped up, tears streaming down my face. I had to see if he was okay, if he was alive. I ran down the hallway and slammed open his door.
I watched as he sat up, looking around. "Allen? What's wrong?" I started crying harder and I jumped on him. I started kissing him, something desperate in my kisses.
He pulled back, looking at my shaking body. He wrapped his arms around me. "I-I killed you with a-a k-knife." I said, still shaking, "Its okay. I'm right here."
He pulled the covers over us, turning to face me. He intertwined our legs and I stopped shaking slowly but surely. "Will you sing Lullaby by Nickelback for me?" He smiled gently at me.
"Sure.
Well, I know the feeling
Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge
And there ain't no healing
From cutting yourself with the jagged edge
I'm telling you that, it's never that bad
Take it from someone who's been where you're at
Laid out on the floor
And you're not sure you can take this anymore
So just give it one more try to a lullaby
And turn this up on the radio
If you can hear me now
I'm reaching out
To let you know that you're not alone
And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell
'Cause I can't get you on the telephone
So just close your eyes
Oh, honey here comes a lullaby
Your very own lullaby
Please let me take you
Out of the darkness and into the light
'Cause I have faith in you
That you're gonna make it through another night
Stop thinking about the easy way out
There's no need to go and blow the candle out
Because you're not done
You're far too young
And the best is yet to come
So just give it one more try to a lullaby
And turn this up on the radio
If you can hear me now
I'm reaching out
To let you know that you're not alone
And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell
'Cause I can't get you on the telephone
So just close your eyes
Oh, honey here comes a lullaby
Your very own lullaby
Well, everybody's hit the bottom
Everybody's been forgotten
When everybody's tired of being alone
Yeah, everybody's been abandoned
And left a little empty handed
So if you're out there barely hanging on...
Just give it one more try to a lullaby
And turn this up on the radio
If you can hear me now
I'm reaching out
To let you know that you're not alone
And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell
'Cause I can't get you on the telephone
So just close your eyes
Oh, honey here comes a lullaby
Your very own lullaby
Oh, honey here comes a lullaby
Your very own lullaby."
I smiled softly and fell asleep in his arms. IN THE MORNING….. I woke up to a tail in my face. I opened my eyes and looked down in front of me, seeing my cat Tim sitting in a nest of Kanda's hair.
"Tim! Where have you been?!" He stretched and meowed quietly as though not to wake Kanda. "So he found you huh? Did he say you were just like me? And you were probably getting into his pot of water huh?"
Tim purred when I scratched behind his ears. I looked over at Kanda and smiled. I laid back down and watched him sleep. He looked so free and relaxed. I tangled my hand in his hair.
I watched as his face changed into a soft smile. "I love you Kanda." I whispered quietly. The only ones that heard were Tim and I…..
Firsts…
There are first for many things, like going with the wind.
First love, first kiss, first everything.
There's that one person that loves you no matter how many monsters you have.
For me, that's a first. Its never happened before.
I hope to spend a life time of firsts.
I hope that I will live that long.
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