Ch. 40
Walter woke up and groaned a little. His mouth tasted like a copper mill had exploded in it. His ears were ringing, and his head was heavy.
"Walter?" Laurie asked, waking up next to him. "Are you okay?"
Walter turned and looked at Laurie and he was relieved. He had a nightmare that she had left him, somehow, and he was so sure that it had been real. He was grateful to find her near him and that he didn't have to wallow in the pain of her absence. He couldn't take that right now, on top of everything else. Walter tried to focus away from his throbbing headache by gazing at Laurie. She looked beautiful and soft lying next to him with nothing but concern in her eyes. Even after that stunt he pulled yesterday. Walter wondered what had gotten into him the night before -- it was as if he had been possessed. Needless to say, he was glad that Laurie was forgiving of his actions and had given him another chance. She had, hadn't she?
Walter sat up and looked at her. She sat up with him.
"What's wrong, Walter?" she asked, sounding a little alarmed.
"Everything is all right?" Walter asked her.
"What do you mean?"
"With us."
"Yes," she said, taking his hand. "Isn't it?"
"Only if you think so." Walter grimaced a little.
"Oh course, Walter."
"Thank you."
Laurie gave him a smile, but she didn't seem to understand what he was telling her. She was so accepting of him in a way that no one else was. He sighed deeply, wanting her and not caring if it showed in his eyes and she saw it. He kissed her gingerly and slipped out of bed before things got out of hand. He hadn't been able to control himself the night before; he wasn't sure how he would fare when it came to other things.
Walter turned and looked at the bedside lamp. Hadn't the light been on when they fell asleep? He looked at Laurie, who was stretching prettily. He studied how her hair cascaded down her shoulders and how her curves accentuated her body. He was paying particular attention to her hips when he realized what he was doing and stopped himself.
"Were the lights on last night?" he asked her while avoiding her eyes.
Laurie gasped.
"You're right," she said. When he looked up, her face was flushed with embarrassment. That made him want her more, somehow. It must have been a strange sight, them gazing at each other in that odd way; him with desire and her with some mixture of wonder and excitement.
There was a knock on the door, and Walter and Laurie froze.
"Come in," said Laurie, looking scared.
Blake opened the door.
"Hey," he said, after glancing at them, "You gotta hear this."
Blake leaned against the doorway and held out the paper in front of him. He read the article that reported how Agent Orange had been set free due to lack of evidence. Actually, it hardly seemed they suspected him of being Agent Orange to begin with. Walter was annoyed.
"So, now he's out running around again," said Blake. "What are you going to do about that, Walter?"
"Kill him," he said.
"A highly effective method for dealing with trash," said Blake, nodding, "But you have to stop yourself if that starts to become your answer to everything."
"I'm sure you know all about that," Walter said, folding his arms.
"As a matter of fact, I do," said Blake, as he straightened himself. "Don't go around making the same mistakes I did."
"I'll do what I want," said Walter, pushing past him.
"Woah now," said Blake. "You on the rag? Laurie, why don't you give him one of your tampons to shove up his ass and stop the bullshit from running out."
"Dad," said Laurie, looking shocked.
"Heh, sorry," Blake shrugged and followed Walter into the hall. "What's the matter, kid?"
Walter glared at him and left the house. He could hear Blake laughing behind him, and wanted to punch him. What the hell was wrong with him? Walter himself, that was, not Blake. Blake was reacting in the way he knew best. Walter -- he just didn't know why he was behaving in this manner. He wanted to blame Agent Orange for all of it; he was going to have to go out there find him after all, but that wasn't it. That was too simple.
Walter went home, showered, changed, and grimaced in the mirror at his face. He looked beat up, but it wasn't that bad, he supposed. So much for his fantastic employee image. He wouldn't be surprised if Mr. Petersen fired him for looking like a punk. When he showed up, however, his boss just seemed sympathetic. The old man was certain that Walter had been mugged, for some reason.
Walter brooded all day. He was sure he was driving away the customers, but they only seemed even more drawn towards him, especially the middle-aged women, who cooed at Walter when Mr. Petersen told them all about his violent mugging. After work, Walter started to go home, but he went to Blake's house instead. He didn't feel like dealing with Blake if he answered the door, so he climbed in Laurie's window.
"Walter," said Laurie, giggling as she put down the book she had been reading. "What would you have done if I had been changing my clothes or something?"
"Then I would have seen you in a nude or semi-nude state," he told her in a matter-of-fact tone.
"What would you have done about that?" she asked, looking into his eyes.
Walter smiled and felt it was best left unsaid. Laurie smiled too after a moment and took his hands, which she placed on her lower back. She leaned in to kiss him, very gently as he still had a cut on his lip. Walter closed his eyes and let the feel of her wash over him. He enjoyed the sensation of her body pressed against his, despite the fact that she was pushing into the bruise on his stomach. He let his hands venture a little lower than he usually permitted them to, and he was both intrigued and frightened by the sound she made at that.
He wanted her, badly. What was the matter with him? He wasn't himself, and he didn't even have Rorschach's voice to admonish him, hold him back. Walter felt guilty, knowing for sure the truth about Rorschach, deep down, but not wanting to face it. He would do that later. He pushed Rorschach out of his mind; tried to push Laurie out of his mind, and all the thoughts that came with her.
"Walter," Laurie sighed in his ear as she kissed behind it.
Walter put his face in her shoulder for one long moment, drawing her into him before he reluctantly pulled back. It was getting more difficult each time.
"I'll see you tomorrow," he told Laurie, using his hands to push her hair behind her ears.
"You're not staying?" she asked him, looking disappointed.
Walter smiled.
"I will have to start paying your father rent if I do that too much," he told her.
"I'm sure he doesn't mind."
"It's inappropriate."
"But it's not on the times when you do stay?"
"No," he shook his head. "That's just when I'm weak."
Laurie seemed as if she was going to say something, but she didn't. Walter wished she would try harder to make him stay, because he would. He would do anything she asked of him, if she would be more forceful about what she wanted.
"Lock your window," Walter said, then added, "Agent Orange."
Laurie nodded and watched him leave. Walter hovered outside the window to make sure she complied with his request and left when he heard her slide the lock in place. Now he didn't have to worry as much.
Walter came home and changed into his costume. He patrolled the streets alone. The city at night was almost like a ghost town. Rorschach couldn't figure out what it was until he remembered Agent Orange's article. Of course, it had been today. Why did this morning seem like so long ago? Everyone was quivering in their beds that night, he was sure. Rorschach made his way to the docks. He half expected to not find the Comedian there, but he did. The Comedian eyed him with a neutral expression as Rorschach made his way to him.
"Hey kid," said the Comedian, "You off your period now?"
Rorschach growled at him and the Comedian laughed.
"You come to keep me company?" asked the Comedian. "Or here to fling your shit mood in my face?"
"Both."
"Fine by me."
The two men stood together for a long while, not saying a word. Rorschach studied the Comedian who didn't seem to look at him directly, but out into the distance.
"Seems pretty boring when the streets are practically empty," muttered the Comedian, finally.
"Agent Orange," said Rorschach.
"Of course," shrugged the Comedian. "In the beginning, fear always works the best. It's when it's prolonged when things start getting out of hand. When people start fighting back."
"Hm."
"Like I should talk -- inspiring fear and repulsion is what I do best. It's the quickest method, and virtually fool proof for a temporary solution."
"Yes."
The Comedian went silent after that. He lit a cigar and held it as Rorschach glared at the offending object as unsavory smoke rose up from its end.
"War's going to have to come to a stop at some point," the Comedian said, quietly, after a moment. He still wasn't looking at Rorschach, though Rorschach was intently looking at him. This was important.
"If it doesn't, people are going to be sent in to intervene," continued the Comedian. "People hired by the government, you know what I'm saying?"
Rorschach nodded.
"Don't tell her," said the Comedian, as he glanced at Rorschach. "It'll only make her worry and I don't want that if there's a small chance it's not going to happen. If it does, well... she can find out when the time comes."
"How do you know if you will be called in?" Rorschach asked.
"Well, I guess it's all determined by the upcoming elections," shrugged the Comedian. "Depends on who becomes our next president -- and judging by how the Democratic party is right now with the wind knocked out of their sails, we all know who it's going to be."
The Comedian looked sad at that moment, and Rorschach wanted to know why. Was the Comedian involved in the election?
"You get yourself in a mess regretting the shit you do, you know," said the Comedian, "Punishing yourself, depriving yourself of what you really need. Pushing away people who are good for you because you don't think you deserve it."
Rorschach peered at the Comedian and waited for him to continue.
"When others let bygones be bygones, you take that chance they give you," the Comedian told him. "If you don't forgive yourself, nobody will. In the end, it'll bite you in the ass, and you'll lose everything, including your fucking dignity."
Rorschach nodded. The Comedian studied his cigar as if he had just found it.
"You learn from your mistakes. Second chances don't come by every day, Walter."
Rorschach flinched when he heard his name.
"Think of it as a life experience. Just vow to never repeat your mistakes again."
Rorschach wondered if the Comedian was speaking for Rorschach, or himself. Probably both. They regarded one another with mutual respect. The Comedian nodded at him.
"Thank you," said Rorschach.
"I'll see you tomorrow, kid."
Rorschach smiled at him, though of course, the Comedian couldn't see it. Rorschach made his way into the empty streets once more. He made a cursory round before he retired early. He had something important to do tomorrow.
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To be continued...