Ch. 64

Walter made a half-hearted attempt to convince Laurie to stay home. After all, what they were going to find with Agent Orange II was going to be far from pleasant, but she would have none of it. Walter was glad. He had been certain that she would stick with him, but he didn't like the idea of forcing her to do anything she didn't want to do. He had just wanted to be completely sure, otherwise the guilt would nag at him at a time when he needed his full attention. The realization of Agent Orange II's identity was not something that was easy for Water to swallow, and even now he could tell that Laurie wanted Walter to be wrong. He knew in some way, she was hoping that it was somebody else; a nobody they didn't know. Deep down, he agreed with her.

He had initially wanted to leave the moment the sun sank beyond the horizon, but he wanted to be there at the right time, before Agent Orange II went out for his evening duties. Rorschach and Nightshade left the house when it was still late afternoon, and Rorschach led her through a neighborhood they had never been through together. Rorschach hesitated for one moment outside of an apartment that he vaguely recalled -- it had been so long since he had been to it, and even then, only once -- and he glanced at Nightshade, who nodded reassuringly at him. He was grateful to have her there with him. For one moment, Rorschach couldn't decide whether or not to just knock on the door or kick it down. He decided on the latter.

The door easily burst under Rorschach's foot as if it were rotting from the inside. An explosion of hot, rank air greeted them even as they stood in the doorway. Rorschach had hated the stench of the place the previous time he had been here, but now it was nearly unbearable. Flies rose out and flew past them out the door, and Rorschach swayed. Nightshade steadied him with a firm hand and he shook himself awake from his semi-trance. He took one bold step forward, then another and then he was inside, with Nightshade close behind him. The room smelled of death and fear; of rotting garbage and even faintly of urine. The carpet was deeply stained and filthy, and all around were stacks of things barely recognizable -- here he spotted a collection of used plates and utensils, there he saw piles of yellowed newspapers, and everywhere else were various collections of trash, wrappers, discarded food, soiled clothes, and anything repulsive in between that one could think of.

For a moment Rorschach was certain that the filth was writhing with some sort of infestation, but he quickly realized that a male human form was rising up from it. The man turned to regard them with eyes that were almost lost amongst the grime that caked his face, hair and clothes. The hair on his head and face was dark but Rorschach knew that it wasn't his natural coloring. The only light source was from the open door behind them, and they brought in enough illumination to bring out the man's eyes -- even they looked darker now.

"Rorschach," said the man -- was he really a man anymore? -- as he turned and stumbled out from the refuse he had clearly been sleeping on top of. His clothing was heavy but durable. It was stained at places but still intact, however he also reeked of sweat and despair when he moved and Rorschach could feel Nightshade moving her hand to her mouth.

"Agent Orange?" Rorschach asked him, regretting a little that he hadn't bothered to distinguish between the original killer and his successor. Compared to this creature, Agent Orange was a saint. It was almost an insult to be compared to this creature.

The man laughed as if he didn't know how. It was more of a rumbling groan of pain than anything.

"Forgot that's what they call me now," he said, in a raspy voice that cracked from disuse. He rubbed at his nose, and Rorschach could see caked stains of blood under his nostrils that disappeared beneath his thick facial hair.

"Is it really him?" Nightshade asked Rorschach. She was practically hiding behind him, hands instinctively going to Rorschach's waist to brace herself.

Rorschach nodded, though he didn't look at her, afraid that Agent Orange II would use the opportunity to spring on them.

"Was hoping you would find me," said Agent Orange II.

"Never knew you for one who would play games," said Rorschach. He felt drained and morose -- the feeling overwhelmed any previous outrage or anger he had felt towards the killer.

"Didn't really mean to," Agent Orange II said in a voice full of desperation. "But you see things you can't look away from; pretty soon you know that is the only truth and how can you deny truth when it stares you in the face?"

"How," said Rorschach. "How did this happen?"

Agent Orange II laughed more properly this time, though it was utterly bitter.

"You think this happened over night? That I had some sort of epiphany one day and sank into this?" Agent Orange II's hands were grasping the air now, and Rorschach could see the sharp, dirty nails at the ends of his fingers. They looked like talons.

"This isn't like you," Rorschach told him. "Never knew you well, but I know this isn't you, Adrian."

Adrian's eyes went a little wider around the edges when he heard his name. For a moment he looked profoundly sad, then his face twitched and he sank back into madness once more.

"I am ruined," said Adrian, in a voice that wavered like that of a ghost. "Tried to find peace once more, but he has tainted the vision and there really is no other way."

"And which way is that?" Rorschach asked him softly.

Adrian gave him a fierce glare and for a moment Rorschach was sure he would attack him and braced himself. But Adrian only shook his head.

"You most of all," said Adrian with a shuddering cough. "Should know this."

"You killed innocent people," Rorschach told him. "Even Agent Orange didn't do that."

"Agent Orange," Adrian laughed. "Agent Orange just saw textbook crime and punished for it. What I saw -- it was more than black and white. I murdered those who deserved it, Rorschach."

"It isn't up to you to decide who gets to die."

"Funny to hear you say that," said Adrian, laughing and weeping at the same time. "So funny, and he said you had so much potential."

Rorschach felt Nightshade's hand on his shoulder. He allowed himself a brief glance at her and let out a shuddering breath.

"You can't do this," Rorschach told him.

"All right, you win," Adrian said, then laughed when Rorschach flinched a little. "What did you expect, Rorschach? An epic battle against good and evil, a brief struggle as I attempt to get the upper ground before I plunge a knife deep into your back? Or perhaps you would take control of the situation and throw me out the window where I fall to a fitting death."

"Expected more of a fight from you," Rorschach admitted.

"What is the point?" Adrian shook his head. "There is nothing left. I have nothing."

"Hope. There is always that."

Adrian's shoulders shook as he sobbed.

"Oh, if there was enough left in my soul to benefit from it," he said. "But hope means nothing to me, Rorschach. Hope is left for those with dignity. Hope is for those who are still willing to live."

Rorschach surveyed the disgusting apartment and had to force himself to nod. Pride goeth before the fall; pride had long left this man.

"All right," Rorschach said, tasting something bitter in the back of his throat. "We're going to apprehend you, then."

"Oh yes, of course," Adrian threw his arms out as if Rorschach was going to handcuff him. "Ball and gag me, officer. Go right ahead."

Rorschach paused for a moment, marveling at how easy it was. Ever cautious, Rorschach tensed for a brief few seconds before he relaxed. Judging by the despair in Adrian's eyes, he had been waiting a long time for this.

"How long have you been out there?" Rorschach whispered to him as he approached Adrian.

Adrian just stared into the distance and Rorschach finally had to just tie his arms back with a length of rope. Rorschach grimaced at the smell that rose off of him but firmly gripped his forearms and led him down the stairs and out the building.

"It's all so clear now," Adrian said suddenly, and Rorschach flinched in vague recognition.

"What is?" Rorschach asked.

"The much grander scale of things -- oh, how foolishly I have acted," Adrian started to sob. "It could have been more. Could have done so much more."

Rorschach pushed him along, afraid that Adrian would collapse and he would have to carry him. Adrian let his head hang as he dribbled over himself while his choking cries blended into laughter. Rorschach led him to a more prominent area and waited as Nightshade called the police. Normally he would tie up criminals and leave them unless Nightshade said otherwise, but today Rorschach decided to wait; he was afraid that Adrian would disappear somehow despite his eagerness to be captured.

"What did you tell them?" Rorschach asked Nightshade as she returned.

"I just said that we had Agent Orange," Nightshade told him. She glanced nervously at Adrian as he stood in silence, head still dropping towards his chest.

It seemed if there was one person the NYPD was willing to drop everything to get to, it was definitely Agent Orange. The police sirens were soon screaming in the distance and coming closer at an alarmingly fast pace. To Rorschach it sounded like a thousand squad cars were approaching.

"Wait," Adrian said, his eyes wide with alarm as the sirens came closer. "I have a way to fix this."

Rorschach gave Adrian a silent stare.

"You get so wrapped up in details you never get the chance to take a step back and see how things could have been," Adrian told him. "If only given a chance, I could do so much more, Rorschach. Please."

"No more chances," Rorschach told him, and Adrian seemed to crumple under his words. He was reduced to nothing almost as quickly as he had recovered and hung limp as the police arrived.

Rorschach had hardly overestimated when he had guessed at the number of approaching cars. Around fifteen police cars peeled down the street and most of them parked hastily, some even on the curb. The sheer number of officers made Rorschach feel uneasy. Dozens of policemen climbed out of their vehicles, many of them already armed. One of them approached Rorschach, Nightshade and Adrian, cautiously but ahead of the rest. Rorschach recognized him as the officer who had handled the situation when he and Nightshade had turned in Big Figure. Was there only one competent officer in the entire city?

"Is that him?" the officer asked, as he approached them. He grimaced as he came closer. Response to the stench, most likely.

"This is Agent Orange," Rorschach confirmed.

"I am, oh I am," sobbed Adrian. "Take me to the gallows and let me hang for an eternity if you have to."

The officer gave Adrian a shocked look before he signaled for the others, who moved more quickly now, carefully walking up as if to a bomb. One officer took Adrian by the arm and handcuffed him when Rorschach released him from his bonds.

"You wouldn't hold it against me, would you?" Adrian asked, as he turned to Rorschach. His eyes were wide again, panicked and pleading. "You won't hate me for this?"

Rorschach choked on his words and couldn't find anything to say. Adrian looked defeated as he allowed himself to be taken away.

"Visit me," Adrian said. "When I'm in there, please. Visit me. I have nobody."

Rorschach couldn't bear to look even as Adrian disappeared from sight. The streets seemed silent and still, the still-flashing police lights looking eerie in the damp night air.

"I just hope he confesses as readily as he did when we take him to court," said the officer Rorschach had recognized.

"I'm certain that he will," Rorschach said, stiffly.

"I'm Captain Hurley," the officer held out his hand.

"Rorschach," he said, taking the offered hand tentatively.

"Yes, of course." The captain smiled. "I admire your work."

Rorschach took his hand back, surprised.

"You do?" he asked him suspiciously.

"Yeah, we all do," he gestured around to the officers around him. "Kind of jealous too sometimes. But if that's what it takes to clean up the streets, we don't mind too much, I guess."

Rorschach glanced at Nightshade, who was looking directly at him.

"I mean, you wouldn't believe the conditions we work in," said Hurley, laughing a little as if he was embarrassed. "But you guys do it for free. That's pretty noble."

"Thank you," Rorschach said, carefully.

"No, thank you," Captain Hurley gave him a small salute. "You did good tracking that madman down. This city thanks you."

Rorschach paused for a moment.

"No," Rorschach said. "They should thank us all."

Captain Hurley gave him a strange look.

"What do you mean?" he asked him.

"You and your people, and the two of us," Rorschach nodded. "That's how they do it in California. They work together, police and crime fighters."

"Is that so?"

Rorschach shrugged. In spite of it all, he still didn't enjoy talking to unfamiliar people. He shuffled his feet and looked at Nightshade, who stepped closer.

"Yes," she said, looking at Rorschach for a moment. "And when anybody asks, that's the story."

"But we hardly did anything," Hurley protested.

"Hey, if we're going to be helping each other out, we need to start big," Nightshade said. "What's bigger than Agent Orange?"

"Nothing much besides the war, I suppose." The captain took off his cap and scratched his head.

"Let's go," Rorschach quietly said to Nightshade, who nodded to him and took his arm.

"Thanks again," Hurley called after them as they started to leave. "You sure about this?"

Rorschach gave him a pointed look and said nothing more. He had said enough. It was up to him now, and though Rorschach wasn't entirely certain the cop would do the right thing, he had been willing to take the chance. It wasn't a completely charitable gesture towards the NYPD on his part, however. Knowing how Adrian had been one of them, Rorschach wasn't sure if he would have been able to handle him as well as a more impartial party had been able to. Rorschach felt his steps dragging as a strong image of Adrian's filthy apartment came to him.

Recalling Adrian's tormented visage, Rorschach felt ashamed. Ashamed that he hadn't been able to see it until it was too late, ashamed that Adrian had stooped to such a level as he did. Rorschach felt partly responsible; maybe if he had enough insight to deduce what had been happening, he could have prevented it, somehow. It wasn't just for the sake of those murdered people -- even though in the end Adrian still justified it as an adequate punishment. Even without taking the victims into consideration, just for the sake of the wretched man who had nothing in his life. On some level Rorschach could recognize a parallel in Adrian's life to that of his own from just a few years back. He had been alone with nobody too then, hadn't he? If Laurie hadn't been in his life, it could have been Rorschach himself who might have joined the crazy duo to make it a trio. No, no -- he couldn't do what they had done. He couldn't possibly imagine it; Adrian was weak and far too susceptible to any suggestions backed by logic. He never really liked Adrian, and he shouldn't forget that, despite the circumstances that led to Rorschach feeling so desperately sad for the man.

Rorschach let out a small pained sound and Nightshade pulled him closer to her. She held him as he tried to compose himself and collect his thoughts.

"It's a bitter end, isn't it," Rorschach told Nightshade. She nodded.

"I don't know what I was expecting," she told him. "But I guess I wanted it to be more satisfying in the end."

"The only satisfaction is in knowing that nobody will die in his hands tonight."

"I feel sick."

Rorschach nodded in agreement.

"Did we do something wrong?" Nightshade asked him, after a moment. "Maybe if we had approached it differently..."

"No," he told her firmly. "We didn't compromise. We caught him, gave him no chances despite where he used to stand with us."

"I just can't stop thinking of him as the man who had dinner with us," Nightshade shook her head. "You remember? When my mother was so awful and everyone was there? How can such a bright man fall so hard and so far?"

Rorschach said nothing, trying to remember the night that Nightshade had mentioned. Yes, it had all been so different then, hadn't it? Even then, the first Agent Orange had been just news, a faraway threat that Rorschach had shrugged off as another delinquent that needed to be taken care of. How eager Adrian had been to get rid of the man then. If only he had succeeded.

"I can't help but wonder if someone like that could sink to such a level, well..." Nightshade hesitated. "What does it take for us to become like that?"

"Having nothing," Rorschach said. "Having no hope."

Nightshade nodded reluctantly. She looked troubled and chewed at her lip.

"Are you going to visit him?" she asked.

"I don't know," Rorschach admitted. "But if I do, I know one thing for certain."

"And what is that?"

"I want you to go with me."

Nightshade smiled.

"Let's go home," she told him. Rorschach was grateful for that suggestion. Home would be a welcome distraction from this madness. He refused to let either Agent Orange get to him, though he knew both men would haunt his nightmares for many nights to come.

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To be continued...