The next day I decided to cheer up a little. Shopping, spa, then drinking and dancing in the club, what could be better? I went to the kitchen, where Kate and Cas were having a breakfast. «Where are the guys»? I asked, taking my seat around the table. «Training», Kate was laconic as always. «Training? Now»? «Dean doesn't wanna screw up again». «He didn't screw up because he needed training, he was just…». «Worrying about you», Kate shot, «What a hell do you think you are doing, Victoria»? «What a hell, nothing Kate. I do nothing»! «Wasn't Sam enough for you»? «Kate»! Cas shut her up. Shopping, spa, then drinking and dancing in the club? Screw everything. I wanna drink now! I stood up from my chair. «Sunshine, you haven't touched your food». «I just lost my appetite, Cas». «You have lost your mind»! Kate shouted from behind me. «Screw you»! I shot back. «Shut the fucking up, Kate», Cas ran after me.
He caught me up on the stairs, «Wait, wait, wait». «Leave me alone, Cas. Just leave me alone. She is so right. She is so damned right», I sat on the stairs, crying. Cas sat next to me, holding me in his arms. «Shhh, sunshine, calm down. This time you did everything right, I'm proud of you». «What's the point? Stefan is still dead and Dean…Dean is still here, I don't know what might still happen between us». «Let's go to your room, you need to rest». «I wanna die, Cas». He took me in his arms and walked to my room, putting me in my bed. «I love you so much, Cas», I whispered through tears. «Sunshine», he sat next to me on the bed, «I love you more», he kissed my forehead, «By the way… Have you told him the truth»? «Yes», I looked down. «The whole truth»? «Cas! No! I couldn't tell him». «Which part did you skip»? Cool, now he is despising me. «Which part do you think»? «Victoria»! Victoria? Crap, now he is really angry with me. «You should have told him that»! «Tell him what, Cas? That I've tried to kill myself»? «Yes! Victoria! He must know that if he… Touches you, he might not only get hurt himself, but also hurt you too»! «He won't touch me again, Cas». «What do you mean again»? Shit! Stupid girl! «Victoria»? «He kissed me», I whispered, looking down. «What? Victoria! Ah, sunshine, you are hopeless», his face became furious, then calm again. «Cas, that won't happen again, trust me». «I really hope so, sunshine», he sighed, looking straight into my eyes with those kind, innocent eyes. «I wanna drink and forget everything». «This is my girl. Go get your ass ready, sunshine, we are going drinking tonight»!
For the eve I chose a golden little skirt and a white, slightly loose top, with a deep neckline, combined it with golden accessories and golden high heels. Evening make up, Chanel bag and the look was ready. I took the keys from my white Range Rover, yes, being an assassin was… profitable, and I walked out of the room. I drove to the Rose club at the Plaza hotel with Cas, while Dean, Damon and Kate took Dean's black Ferrari. Driving under Lana Del Rey's «Ride» was a major turn on for me. «Hey, slow down, sunshine», Cas laughed, I don't know what about you, but I do wanna get to the club».
Taking a seat in the luxurious club, I decided to order the Moët Imperial Gatsby cocktail. Kate ordered the same, while the boys decided to taste the Hemingway Daiquiri. «Look, Victoria, before I've gotten drunk, I want to tell you I'm sorry for today. I didn't mean it, you know that». Wow, Did Kate just apologized? Now, I've seen everything in my life. «What has happened today»? Damon wondered. «Nothing that matters», I blinked to Kate and smiled. After a few glasses, we were all happy and hearty, well except for Damon and Dean. I think they sacrificed themselves for taking us home. «I love you so much, guys». Everybody laughed, Kate will kill us all tomorrow for seeing her like this. «I would have loved you if I was a guy Victoria, you are so sexy, bitch»! «Ok, this is enough! Come Katy, we are going home», Damon stood up. «But I don't wanna go home, Mr. creepy». «Creepy»? Damon smiled, «Now you are definitely going home. Hey, Cas, help me here. Victoria, can we take your car? You'll come with Dean». Cas and Damon held Kate on her both arms, and took her to my car. Of course, they were not asking me to take my car, they were telling me. Well, at least they told me first. Cas threw a creepy look at me, before leaving. Fine, fine, I can control myself, I narrowed my eyes. Crap. Dean and me again, no, wait a minute, worse, Dean and drunk me. Screw everything, I'll get through this! I hope so…
I stood up, and fell over the moment I took a step. Suddenly I felt strong arms, holding me from behind, then felt the familiar flavor again…Dean… My eyes closed and I leaned my head back… Dean… I felt his heart beating, then his breath on my neck…Dean. We needed to go, but none of us wanted to move, to break that magic moment. I turned my head to his face, feeling his breath on my cheek. Our noses touched and I stopped breathing, I felt like my heart stopped beating for a moment and the whole world froze. He was so close and so desirable. I knew that was so wrong but the alcohol inside me kept controlling my body. I lifted my head, so that our lips almost touched. «Little girl…», he whispered, «Don't do this to me, we need to go home». He was right… «Take me home», I closed my eyes.
He opened the door of the Ferrari and helped me take a seat. «Turn on the music», I demanded, while he was driving home. God, he was even hotter, while driving, concentrated on the road, but still distracted by me, by my bare legs. I could watch him drive forever. He turned on the CD and the song «Ride» spread through the air. No way! Are you kidding me? «Do you like Lana Del Rey's songs»? «I do. This song drives me crazy». You can't be so perfect! «Hey, fasten your seatbelts». Seatbelts? «No»! I sounded childish. «The seatbelts»! He warned, pretending to be angry, but not hiding his smile. «No»! I laughed. «You are so drunk, little girl», he couldn't help but laugh himself. Stopping the car, he bent over me to fasten my seatbelts. It was dark outside and no lights were noticed around. I started fighting him, I don't know why. That was funny. Suddenly he grabbed both of my hands and held them behind me. I tried to free my hands from his, but in vain. I was drunk, he was stronger. «Your skirt is too short», he said in a husky voice. I felt warm and irritable down my belly. «Stop looking at me like that or I'm not responsible for my actions». Then act, damn it! «I want you», I whispered and the next second I felt his lips on mine, storm passed through my whole body, I moaned in his mouth. «Fuck», he whispered as he held my head with both hands, deepening the kiss. I felt his tongue sliding into my mouth and we sank in a hard wet kiss. I slid my hands through his hair, bringing his head closer as if not getting enough of him. «Fuck, Victoria»! He stopped me, holding my hands. «What»? I was breathless. «I have no one in this life». I shook my head to clear my clouded mind. «I don't get it, Dean. What are you talking about»? «If they found out about this, they will find people that you care, they will find your family and…». He paused. «Do you get it now»? All emotions inside me turned upside down. He was right. What a hell was I thinking about? Cas, oh Cas, I wish you would have been here.
I got out of the car and sat on the bonnet inhaling the air, but not getting enough. «Hey, little girl», Dean approached me, «We never gonna let that happen, did you understand me»? He hugged me, making my inner world shake again. This was getting unbearable. His smell, his voice, his hands, his body, his smile, his eyes… and the alcohol. I couldn't take it anymore, I couldn't fight the limitless desire inside me. «Dean, but I still want you» I whispered, «I still want you». «Little girl», he slid his hand over the back of my neck, his forehead touching mine. «Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to control myself right at this moment? Taking me under control, when every inch of my body wants to get wild with you and get lost in you»? «I think, I've forgotten to put on my panties». I looked at him through my lashes, knowing exactly what effect it used to have on men and how it will affect him. «I can't do this», he grabbed my hips bringing me closer to him, so that he was between my legs, and kissed me passionately, lost in the moment. «Take me now», I whispered in his mouth and earned a loud grown. That literally made me lose my mind, I tore up his white shirt and my fingers got access to his perfect body, hugging his waist. «What are you doing to me, Vica»? «I want you here and now». He kissed me again, his fingers sliding over my knees under my skirt. I could feel his burning fingers travelling to my inner things. Not having enough strength to withstand the power of his touch, I bent my head, resting it on his shoulder. I closed my eyes, concentrating on my feelings. His fingers found their way to my sex, moving in and out. «Vica, you are so wet, so ready for me», he took his fingers in his mouth testing my flavor. I kissed him hard, my tongue rubbing over his, testing myself in his mouth. I unbuttoned his pants, unzipped it, sliding my hand inside, taking his erection in my hand, looking straight into his eyes. Feeling my touch on his cock, Dean closed his eyes. «So hard, so ready for me…», I smiled. «You are crazy». «I wanna feel you inside me». Not waiting for another second, he entered me, entered me deeply with his big dick, filling the emptiness inside me. That was euphoric. I wanted his cock inside me from the moment I saw him. «Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh», he thrust into me deeper, then stopped and thrust again, harder. «Fuck, you are so tight, so fucking sexy». «Than fuck me, Dean, fuck me hard». My words were a major turn on for him. He was striking into me again and again, his moves getting faster and harder, his big cock moving deeper and deeper inside me. The heat inside me was becoming more intense and enjoyable, spreading through all over my body, filling my body, and then, suddenly, everything fall, disappeared, I lost the sense of my body, space, time and it all exploded with one more thrust… But he didn't stop, his moves more intense and rough, his muscles tensed and his fingers curved hurting my hips. He was on the edge… And then he came, came hard with a loud groan, resting his head on my chest. I could feel his breath becoming normal and his pulse getting slower.
When we got back in the car, I checked my phone. Six missed calls from Cas, just as I had expected. I won't tell him anything, no one will know about this night…
I was so exhausted from the breathtaking sex, that I immediately got to my bed after a shower. I shrouded under my blanket and the pictures of me and Dean in the road, on the car kept circling in my mind. My eyes got heavier and my mind clouded and then I felt some movement in my bed. Not distinguishing the reality from the sleep, I tried to open my eyes. Dean? Cool, now he is in my dreams. I could fell his arms sliding around my waist and it felt so real. I closed my eyes and opened them again. Dean was still there. Crap, this isn't a dream. «Dean! What are you doing here»? «Little girl, I couldn't sleep», he was brushing my hair with his fingers. «Dean, but what if someone sees you»? «No one will enter your room at night Vica. I'll destroy the one who will». I rolled my eyes. «Anyway, what are you doing here»? «I was thinking about you… About us… Vica… I… What happened earlier was… I can't stop thinking about you. I've never felt this way before. Never». I looked into his eyes, I could have listen to him forever. «Dean», I whispered and kissed his cheek. He froze for a moment and then pushed my body closer to him, kissing me gently. Oh, God. He was naked, his dick rubbing against my arousal, I could feel the weakness leaving my body, freeing up a space for passion and arousal. «Dean», I whispered in his ear, «I want you to rip my nightdress off, grab my hair and fuck me, like you hate me». «Vica…», his eyes got wild. He attacked me, got on top of me, holding my hands above my head, pushed his penis inside me and fucked me like it was the last time.
«Fuck»! He lay by my side. «What are you doing to me, little girl? You are like a drug for me. I know, I should leave you alone, and this is not right, but…I want more, always more of you. I can't get enough of you». «You didn't rip my nightdress off», I smiled, resting my head on his chest, hugging him and wrapping my leg around his waist. «Don't tease me, Victoria», he warned, brushing my cheek with the back of his hand. «What if I do»? I narrowed my eyes. «You really want more, little girl and you'll get it». «No, this time I'm on charge. I'm going to fuck you dirty, the type of dirty, that doesn't wash off». «You are so horny, little girl», he smiled, watching me get on top of him. «It's not me, it's you. You are just so fucking sexy». I bent over him and bit his lower lip, then sucked it, teasing him, making him moan. He grabbed my head, pushing me closer to him, sliding his tongue and brushing mine inside my mouth. I stopped him leaning back and took off my nightdress, keeping the eye contact with him. He caressed my body, admiring it, his hands moving from my hips to my breasts, squeezing them, playing with my nipples. «You are amazing… Goddess». Suddenly he reached up, taking my nipple into his mouth and sucking it hard, making me moan. «Shhhh, we don't wanna wake them up, do we», he smiled, attacking my other nipple, licking it inside his mouth. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes in order to feel his tongue even stronger. Then I felt his finger brushing over my lips, asking for entrance. I took it in my mouth sucking it, testing it, licking it. I wanted more, more of him. I pushed him back on the bed and bent over him, kissing his lips, his neck, licking his nipples and moving down on his body. «Just close your eyes, Dean. Close your eyes and enjoy this». He leaned his head back with a groan and closed his eyes.
Not wanting to make him wait, I stuck my language between the foreskin and the head of his member, making a full circle, then moved my tongue up and down his penis several times, making him moan again. I could feel it, the exciting sense of power over man, arising at that moment, giving me more energy, making me irritated and wet, allowing me to start the engine even more. Slowly gliding the head of the member in my mouth, I rhythmically plunged it in, shoving it deeper every time. I earned another groan. I wrapped my lips around his penis, to prevent the access of air in my mouth and sucked the air accumulated in the mouth, then began moving my head up and down, letting him feel on his penis the pleasing effect of the vacuum. Dean began breathing fast and hard, biting and licking his lips. Grabbing my head, he started moving his hips, forcing me to accelerate and accelerate the rhythm, until he came, came with a loud groan, filling my mouth with his salty and delicious sperm. I swallowed it licking my fingers, sensing his taste in my mouth and throat. Climbing over him, I lay on top of him, sliding my fingers through his hair, enjoying his perfectly sculptured face. «Victoria», he whispered his eyes still half closed. «Shhhhh», I closed his mouth by my finger, leaving a slight kiss on it, «Let's sleep».
«I told you to stay away from her, what a hell do you think, you are doing»? «I didn't fucking know that». What was going on? I could hear familiar voices. I opened my eyes, the scene in front of them slowly becoming clear. It was Dean, only wearing his jeans and Cas, furious as hell. Crap! Cas must have seen Dean in my bed this morning! I jumped out of my bed. Thanks heaven I had put on my nightdress before I slept yesterday. «Guys, stop it»! I shouted, getting between them. «How could you do that Victoria? You told me you would stay away from him»! «Cas, I… I don't know how that happened. I… I was drunk, I… Don't know… Why… What…». «Why didn't you tell me that»? Dean turned me to face him. «Tell you what»? What a hell is going on here? «That you tried to commit suicide»! Cas told him? No way! «Why did you do that? I turned to Cas. «Because I wanted to protect you! You are going to hurt yourself»! «I'm not, Cas, I'm not! And that was not your fucking business»! «Vica», Dean held me from behind, «Calm down». Tears flowed down my cheeks. That was more than I could stand. I leaned on Dean's arms, sliding down, sitting on the floor. Dean and Cas both kneeled in front of me. «Sunshine, he had to know the truth», Cas held my arm, clearing my tears by his other hand, «I think you should talk to him now. I'll give you some space». «Cas, have you…Told anyone»? «No», he replied quickly. I nodded gratefully as he stood up and walked out of the room, closing the door after him.
«Come here, my little girl», Dean took me in his arms and carried me to my bed, putting me on the soft sheets. I asked him to sit by my side, leaning on him and hugging him silently. «I'm sorry, Dean. I must have told you», I whispered. «Tell me now», he kissed my hair, not letting me from his strong arms. «It's… Difficult», I sighed. «I'm right here, I'm with you, my little girl». I took a deep breath. «Stefan was the only one, Damon had had on this world, no parents, no relatives, no one. It was very hard for Damon to lose him. He never told me that, but I think he blamed me for his death and he was right». «Don't», Dean tightened the hug. «He was broken. I'd never seen him like that. He started drinking, using drugs…He didn't come home at nights. It was hard for him to… To see me, to be in the same place with me. It was hard for me too. I could feel that…» Tears started pouring from my eyes again. I couldn't speak any more. «Shhhh», we can speak about this later, if you want», Dean was caressing my hair. I shook my head. «No, I wanna tell you now, and finish this». I leaned back, «What happened to Stefan made me think about my life; my parents were far away from me and it was forbidden for me to contact them, I was a killer, my boyfriend's brother was killed because of me and I had no one by my side. Well… I had Cas and Kate, but… You know, Damon hated me, I could feel it and there was no way out of the situation, out of this world. And then the idea struck me like a thunder. There was only one way out of all that». «Victoria…», Dean held my hand, not knowing what to say. «You know, this was my choice, I mean this life, I had chosen it. It gave me money, power… I don't know, I felt like I had everything I wanted, but suddenly I found out I was stuck in the golden cage. I wasn't allowed to leave it, but I couldn't take it anymore. I decided to end that once and forever». «How did you…»? «Cas found me with a gun in my hand. He stopped me». «So that was what you had meant by saying he saved your life». «Yes», I looked down, «He was always there for me. He told Damon…». «And what did Damon say or do»? «He started talking to me again». «Just like that? Didn't you two...»? «No», I interrupted him, knowing well what he was going to say, «We've never talked about it actually, we just started talking to each other and as the time passed the tension eased and that was enough for both of us… I don't think we will ever be able to talk about it». Dean was silent, we both were. «Why did they forbid you to contact your parents»? Dean broke the silence with an unexpected question. «Why do you think they did? We are assassins, we shouldn't have any weakness, and family is weakness. It is making us weak, it is making us vulnerable, just as love does», I paused for a moment, «We shouldn't care about anyone, because one day they might order me to kill you and I shouldn't think twice before pressing the trigger». «If you had a second chance, would you choose the same life? Would you like to get out of here and live free»? «I don't know, Dean, maybe…». He bent to me and kissed my forehead the way like he was saying goodbye. «Dean», I whispered, feeling tears ready to fall down my eyes. «I'll leave you alone, little girl, I care for you too much, to act another way».
The next morning I woke up from the strange noises. Ah, not again. Last time I heard this kind of noises, Stefan was killed. What now? I quickly put on a wrapper and ran down stairs. «Are you out of your fucking mind»? I heard Damon's voice. «She wanted to kill herself because of you, you should have been by her side, fucking jerk»! Dean beat him on his face. «Dean! Stop it»! I shouted, running towards them, while Cas and Kate were trying to separate them. «What are you two doing»? «I will fucking destroy you, asshole», Damon shouted from behind Cas, who was trying to hold him back. «Just stop it, both of you», I shouted, making everyone freeze. «It's not his fault, Dean», I turned to him, «It's because of me, because I never really forgave myself for…Stefan, his death». «Baby doll, it's not your fault. I… I've never blamed you for his death». I held my breath. Baby doll… That was how he used to call me then, long time ago… Cas and Kate looked at each other, while Dean bent his head, clearly understanding what was going on. «Damon I…», I couldn't find words. «It's my fault. I should have told you, I don't blame you for Stefan, I never did». «Damon…», and again I forgot all words in the world. «We've never talked about this, I think it's time now. Give us a moment». Cas and Kate went to their rooms. «Dean, please, it's OK, I will be fine». Forcing himself, Dean stepped back, as if it was the hardest thing in the world, and left the room.
Damon and I sat on the sofa, talking about Stefan and us and everything. Two years, we haven't talked like this for two years. So many words needed to be said between us. After our long conversation I felt relieved, I think we both did. We both needed this, needed to pour it all out, let it go. «So now it's Dean, right»? Damon looked into my eyes the way he used to do it, the way only he could do, as if reading me from inside. «Damon, I don't know what I feel, but I will not make the same mistake, not again». «You better not to, baby doll». What does that suppose to mean? «And why is that»? Damon sighed. Oh, no, I know this look. «Damon»? I insisted, «Is there anything I need to know»? «Have you ever asked him about his… Past»? «Mmm, no… Why»? «Dean is not the one, you think he is. Ask him about his past and baby doll, be careful».
What was it about his past, that should make me be careful. Actually, Damon was right. I've told Dean about my life, I've told him everything, but I've never asked him about his life. How did he get here? There were so many questions and not a single answer.