«Hey, it's me, can I come in»? I knocked the door of the room number 13. «Victoria? Sure, come in». I opened the door. Dean was clearing his gun TT MP-656. When he saw me, he stopped and smiled with his innocent and gorgeous smile. What might he be hiding from me? «I was thinking…», I was slowly approaching him, «You know, I told you about my life, like everything and still I… I know nothing about you». His face visibly changed, becoming serious, as if he knew this day would come sooner or later. He put the gun on the table and sat on his bed. This is not good. Crap! This is something serious. «I knew I would have to tell you some day», his voice was low and weak. «Dean, after everything I've told you, you can tell me anything». I sat next to him, putting my hand on his. «But if I tell you», he lifted his eyes, looking at me, «You'll never want to see me again». I smiled slightly, «You didn't give up on me, after knowing the truth, did you? I'm not going to give up on you either». «But this is different, Victoria, you should stay away from me as far as possible, little girl. I'm so wrong for you», he stood up, squashing his eyes. «You are not, Dean»! I stood behind him, «I'm not perfect either. I'm not a good girl. I am a killer. You can't be wrong for me. That's ridiculous»! «Why don't you want to get it»! He turned to me quickly, holding me on my shoulders and shaking me slightly. «Dean» you are scaring me», my breath quickened. His eyes widened and he let me go, stepping back, as if his skin burned from the touch. I bit my lower lip. «I'm sorry Dean», I lifted my hand to touch his face, «I didn't wanna hurt you». He laughed in a loud voice. «You didn't wanna hurt me»? He repeated my words, «Victoria, I hurt you, it was me who hurt you and scared you, what are you sorry for»? «Dean», I sighed, sitting on the bed, «I just wanna know the truth, please». He kneeled in front of me, sitting on the floor. «I'm sick, Victoria». «You what»? I stopped breathing, I lost the sense of space and time. «What is it… Your disease»? «It's amok». «Wha…what is that», my head was going round. «It means a blind, unmotivated aggression, Victoria. Sometimes it's threatening murder, after that sometimes comes amnesia». «You mean… You kill people when you get… Angry»? I swallowed, everything becoming black in front of my eyes. «Yes». I took a deep breath. «But why? How did it start? Is there a cure»? «It is usually associated with the depression or sadness, resulting from a loss of someone you love or something you love. The feeling of the loss is replaced by a feeling of hatred towards others, and time by time it just explodes». «And who have you lost»? I threw myself on the floor, hugging him tightly from behind. He leaned his head back on my shoulder, desperately needing my support. «I've lost my parents. Both of them. I was 12 years old when they died. They were stuck in a burning house and nobody tried to save them. I remember that day. My father sent me to the shop to buy some bread and when I came back, the house was already burning. I was crying, asking for help, asking to help them, trying to enter the house myself, but the firemen didn't let me in». He sighed, bending his head down. «Dean», I tightened my grip, kissing his head. «People were just standing there, watching the house burn with my parents inside it…Still alive. The same people, who used to come to our house for Christmas, eat from the same table with my parents, who used to smile to them… Fuck! My father and my mother were always there for any of them, and nobody was willing to help them, when they were burning inside that fucking house»! «Dean, calm down, it's OK», I whispered. «No, it's not OK»! He suddenly shouted holding my hands again. «It's not OK». «They fucking died because of them. I hate them, I fucking hate everybody»! «Dean», my voice was trembling, «Please, calm down». But he stood up, lifting me and pushing me up against the wall, with his both hands squeezing my throat. He was shaking with his whole body, his eyes red with anger, his veins clearly visible from under his skin. I'd never seen him like that. Fear filled my heart. What should I do; call for help, or try to bring him to consciousness myself? Yes, right, I'll do it myself, if I cry for help, it might scare him. I took a deep breath, trying not to do sudden movements. «Dean, it's me, it's Vica. Stop this, Dean, please, you are hurting me…» I couldn't speak anymore, my throat… Everything around me becoming dark again, I was losing my consciousness, I could feel my brain turning off slightly, losing the contact with the reality. Suddenly I felt a powerful airflow filling my lungs, the darkness around me was melting away, bringing me back to reality. Soon I started hearing a voice; «Vica, God, Victoria! Are you OK? I'm sorry little girl, I'm so sorry…» My brain turned off again.
I opened my eyes and narrowed them, trying to focus on the silhouette in front of me. Soon the scene became clearer. It was Dean, his eyes red and… Wet? I looked around; I was in Dean's room, lying on his bed. Dean was sitting next to me, holding my hand with his one hand and stroking my hair with the other one. «My little girl», his voice was quaking, «I… I don't know what to say». Tears ran down his eyes. No! «Dean, I'm fine», I said in a weak voice. «I'm sorry», he put his head on my chest and I could feel his shoulders shivering. «Dean, it's not your fault…». «How can you say that? How can you say that now, when I almost killed you»? he looked up into my eyes. «Dean…» «God», he closed his eyes, «I could have killed you… I would have killed myself after that…If I remembered… Victoria», he cupped my face, «Please, never come closer to me again, never! Do you understand me? I'm a monster. I can hurt you. I'll never forgive myself if I hurt you». Tears wet my face, my inner world shook; I wanted to tell him that I would be by his side, no matter what, that I would help him out, I would support him, but I was speechless. «I can't», I whispered, «Don't ask me, I won't», I sat in the bed, caressing his face. «We'll get through this. We'll cure you». «No, we won't, we can't. There is no cure for this». «What»? I lost the sense of space again. «It's impossible, there must be something… What does your doctor say? You have a doctor, don't you»? He sighed, «Doctor Collins». «Doctor Collins? Our psychologist»? «Not only psychologist… He… Victoria, this is the last thing in the world I want to tell you…». «Dean», I held his hands, trying to give him all the support and love and energy, I had in me, «You can tell me anything, you know that». «You are gonna regret your words soon, my little girl…». «Try me». After a little pause he spoke. «When my parents died, the house, the business was all given to my uncle and his wife, until my 18. I lived with them in our house. One day, when we were having breakfast, I… I didn't like the soup, she had made for us. I got angry. I felt blood heat my head. I felt like I wanted to… to kill her». Dean closed his eyes, as if experiencing that moment again. «I attacked her. I attacked the wife of my uncle…». My heart started beating fast, part of me wanted to run away from him, but the other part, the stronger one, held his hands stronger, willing to know what happened next. Dean was speaking slowly, as if feeling every single word. «She almost died… They took me to Doctor Collins. I lived in the hospital, until I was 18». 6 years… He has been in the hospital for 6 years. My poor boy… I took a deep breath. No tears! I must be stronger for him. «You know, he helped me a lot. He taught me to fight it, to fight the disease». «But how»? «He offered me a job, which would totally satisfy my… demands». «He is the one who has brought you here», I spoke to myself, solving the puzzle in my head. Of course, Dean was furious, he wanted to kill and he got it. It became his job! He let it all out, all that anger and abhorrence and hatred, by killing people. Doctor Collins is a genius. «Yes, he is», Dean cut my thoughts, «All that time I had spent in the hospital I was taught the art of killing, in all the details. Then he took me to the centre. I started working… Working hard. I loved it, I loved the job, I could feel it was helping, it was taking all the pain and loathing and hate from my soul. Victoria», he cupped my face and looked deep into my eyes, touching my soul with his gaze, «I enjoyed every single death». His words were like a knife in my dark soul. I could feel the pain travelling through my body, touching from the inside every inch of it, hurting my body, making me feel a real physical pain. I started trembling like a leaf on the wind. I wanted to tell him it's OK, I wanted to be there for him, but it was more than I could handle. I stood up from the bed, took a step back, leaning on the wall. I was no longer able to hold my tears back. Dean didn't move. He was looking down… Just looking down. «Do you remember», I swallowed, clearing my tears, «The first person, you have killed»? He lifted his beautiful, painful eyes, shooting me with his gaze. «No». He was short and dry. «Neither the first one, nor the other two hundred». Two hundred… I slipped down on the floor, my brain trying to accept the… Fact. This time he stood up and approached me, kneeling in front of me, holding my hands, hurting them a little. «Do you understand now, why they have brought me here? I was the best, Victoria. I was the best because I was heartless, cruel, ruthless… I was merciless». His words were hurting me one by one, like bullets from the gun, shot right in my heart. His eyes were wild, his gaze dark; that was scaring me to death and at the same time making me horny to death. He was still saying something, but my mind was clouded. The only thing I could think about was him fucking me hard on the floor, right at the place I was sitting. «Victoria», his voice was breathy, «You are licking your lips». «I need you». His eyes widened. «You need me after all the shit I've told you»? «I need you inside me… Desperately». The next second he pulled my legs bringing me closer to him, so that his dick was rubbing over my wet clit. «I wanna feel your anger on me, in me. Show me how furious you are», I quickly took off his pants, while he was coarsely ripping my panties out from under my little white dress. Still it was so long for me; I needed him sooner than a second. «Ahhhhh», I moaned loudly feeling his cock entering me, entering me violently, severely, filling the space between my legs… Tightly. He laid on top of me, letting me feel his weight, his power, his dominance. I slipped my hand over his waist, scratching his back, pulling him closer to me. «Harder, fuck me harder», I whispered breathlessly. «I'll fuck you to death, if you don't shut up now». I was moving my hips with his, trying to feel him even deeper inside me, as if it was possible. «I'm gonna fuck you to death; I'm gonna fuck you to death…». He was thrusting into me harder and harder, his hands squeezing my hips, his moves rude, his face dark, his eyes clouded; his breath on my lips getting quicker, harder, making me lose my mind, making me crazy. «I'll make you scream my name, you're gonna scream my name while I'm fucking you». His words were turning me on, making me wetter and making me come… «Dean», I moaned his name, closing my eye, arcing my back and leaning my head back, the lust inside me exploded, making my body tremble under his weight. «Fuck, Victoria»! I felt his warm sperm filling inside me, while he was still thrusting into me, his eyes closed, his lips tightly clenched…