I had no idea what I was doing when I kissed Bella goodbye in the forest that day. I had no idea what I was doing telling my family to disappear from Forks and break off all contact with anyone here, especially Bella. But somewhere in the deep crevices of my mind, I knew what I was looking for.

I couldn't be with Bella anymore–I knew this much. Humans are just too fragile for the predators of the night and I couldn't keep pretending that I'm not a threat. I could've killed Bella any one of the times we were alone together. I could've even done it in public. But I was away, far far far away and I was no longer a threat to her. I traveled for a time with many motives apart from the underlying one. I told myself that I was going to find Victoria and make sure she couldn't harm Bella. I told myself that I wanted to search for friends of Carlisle's so I might have some place to stay. I told myself that I'd never been everywhere. I even told myself that I wanted to forget about Bella and make myself accept going back to the lonely life I once had. This was all somewhat true in their own regard. But I never confronted my true reasoning, mostly because I felt guilty for my desire.

In a few months' time, I found myself staring at the unfinished ceiling of an attic, marginalized by the pests that normally reside there. Below me there were many Spaniards who talked and made noise day in and day out. I smelled their cooking and sweat and saw their filth until I could no longer bare it and left the attic. Undetected by others, I walked the streets of what I understood to be Rio de Janeiro.

The attic seemed to dull my senses and left me more depressed than when I arrived. This is probably the reason, when I realized I had stumbled into the ending day of Carnival, I made sure to toss back as much intoxicating poison as I could get my cold, dead hands on. I wanted to forget about the mistakes I made. I wanted to be numb. I wanted to get over Bella. I wanted someone from the past.

As soon as this thought crossed my mind, I was given a very posh-looking lion's mask by a small child, "Usá-lo! Usá-lo! Usá-lo!" The boy demanded of me and smiled with pride when I obliged. My body swayed drunkenly to the constant rhythm of the drums as I hummed off-tune. But even in this drunken stupor, I was still able to recognize her. Her dark brown hair was straightened out and moved gently with the breeze. Her skin, although fairer than most, was coloured to appear sun-kissed. Her eyes were a dark maroon, she hadn't fed for a few days or so. Like many, her costume barely covered her. It was more of a dark lingerie set with black ribbons hugging the cinch in her waist and the curves of her legs. Her high-heeled feet stepped quickly to the beat of the music, repeating the sounds on the table top from which she danced. A group of loud drunkards cheered from below her, the blood coursing through their veins with haste when she swayed her hips.

I didn't know what I was doing when I went up to the table and took her over my shoulder, walking away with her regardless of the yells and protests of the men. I don't know what I was doing when I held her against a wall nearby and watched the eyes I was once enamoured by gaze at me wildly through her dark mask. I didn't know what I was doing when I allowed her to walk us to some abandoned church attic. I had no idea what I was doing when she took off my mask and I hers. But it was when our lips touched gently that I knew what I was doing. I was fulfilling my true purpose. And finally, the search ended and I had found meaning once more, in the arms of my Cara.

~~~/~~~

The forbidden couple remained intoxicated for about two days (since the poison has no true means of traveling through a lifeless body and must dissipate through time), but stayed with each other long after the impairment had run its course. Although Edward had lost count over how many times he saw the single strip of sunset illuminate the attic ceiling, he believed it was nearly eight days that he'd lived in near sin with his long-lost paramour. Unlike their humans years, they never tired, never slept, never needed to stop, although they did.

Edward enjoyed standing behind Cara at the window, his arms around her waist, her head against his chest. They watched the never-ending clamor of noise and energy like gods in the heavens. Cara loved to lay beside him when the moonlight bathed their skin in a pale natural glow. They gazed at each other as if it was the first time they actually saw one another—in some regard, it was.

They were happy.

And, perhaps, if Cara had not gone away one night to feed, they would have stayed in their world of bliss. They would've married and lived with the Cullens, never feeling lost or lonely ever again. But in the blackness of the night in the attic, a cell phone in Edward's pocket wailed with alarm and terrible news was relayed. Edward panicked and stumbled on the numbers, trying to remember the distant phone number he desired. However, when the call went through, it was not the voice he wanted to hear.

"Swan residence."

"May I speak to Charlie Swan?" He was amazed he could form the words.

"He's not here right now." The voice was angered and cold. Jacob, "He's going to a funeral."

It was true. And it was his fault. He thought he had taken Bella from this world. The phone crumbled in his hand like a piece of paper and he tossed it on the ground. He had killed people before but never an innocent girl like Bella. He knew he had to right this wrong. He had to pay for what he had done. He wanted to die and he knew how to do it.

...

Just a few background things to go over before beginning my personal commentary. First, for those who are not quite sure of your Portuguese (as I am), Google Translate tells us that "Usá-lo" means "wear it". Second, I looked it up and the 2011 Carnival celebration in Rio lasted from March 5-8. And in New Moon, St. Marcus Day is said to be on March 19, so eight days together puts the fatal phone call around the 16th or 17th (just for reference). This was such a fun chapter to write. I had a lot of research behind it including where Edward said he went, what Jacob told Edward over the phone in the movie and also a bunch of stuff about the Carnival. I think its brilliant. The costumes are quite posh and the music is nice. It's a big deal and I couldn't have Cara live in Rio from the 30's to the 2010's without mention at least one Carnival. And so here it is. I found one image of a woman in a gold bra and panties with a bunch of ribbons along her body and she had this huge lions mask. And so my mind went to work and I thought let me give a lion mask to Edward (since he is the lion) and the costume to Cara. Her mask was of a black panther, in case you were wondering. I wish someone could draw a picture of her costume. If we get to 1000 views, my dear readers, Cara's Carnival costume will be the first post on the fan Instagram. I hope we do get to 1000. what a milestone that might be! Speaking of, I have put a poll up again asking you directly if you want me to create an Instagram for my writing. So please do me a kindness and vote on that and also share with friends, neighbors, enemies, scoundrels, whomever. And don't forget to comment and follow this story. Thanks so much for reading, cheers!