Okay so I've added to it this one does contain mentions of attempted suicide so that's just my warning to you all.
I Don't Own Twilight or its characters, I would have a lot more Jasper if I did.
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"J-Jasper?" i asked quietly, i was waiting for him to disappear, it had happened so many times before. He hadn't changed from when i had last seen him aside from his clothes,
"It's me Darlin..." he whispered, then i realised, something that if this was real, i would have to tell him, little Jasper, a picture involenterily passed through my mind and i heared a gasp from the mind reader, i shut off that thought, i would tell him later, I just wanted to be held by my Jasper...
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I had told him that there was something i needed to tell him, but i wanted to do it in Huston, I knew very well that i wouldn't be able to get the words out of my mouth,
Alice, Jasper's best friend, pulled me aside and said that it would be raining all next weekend that we could go visit then, she was a seer of sorts.
I had met everyone in his new family, His supposed Rosalie Hale, and her mate Emmett Cullen, Alice of course, and the mind reader Edward, he had a human mate called Bella that was his blood singer, she had only just come to town.
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That's how i now found myself in Texas Huston a week later and leading Jasper to the field,
"This was where your men told me that you wouldn't be comin' home... They looked broken i suppose is a word for it, Ah had been picking flowers to put them on the table, it always did make things much nicer when you weren't there..." I spoke softly my southern twang a little stronger than it had been in a while.
"I don't understand what your supposed to be tellin' me Darlin'." Jazz said just as softly,
"The only way I'm gonna get through to tellin' you whats really important is if we go through everything a bit at a time..." I led him back to the house, Our house, i had made sure to keep it, i had a maid do the cleaning when i wasn't there, but every once in a while if i could bear it i would come back and live here. "Ah came back here in tears, Ah threw things and broke a mirror before Ah came back to ma senses. For a while Ah would just sit in the rockin' chair and look out the window... Ah still have you're Jacket, I always keep it with me, and when Ah went to your funeral they gave me the flag they draped over the coffin-" I broke off to take a shudderin' breathe, "I tried to keep healthy," I had walked out of the house and had walked to the cemetery. I finally stood in front of the gate. Walkin' the steps in almost unconsciously as i had done many times in my human years,
"Darlin' what are we doin' here?" i take another breathe and stand in front of a stone blocking his sight from the words behind me,
"Ah really di' try Jaspah, Ah tried to stay healthy Ah swear." I gasped out my twang took full front, i was so afraid that he wouldn't speak to me after he saw the words "Ah didn' mean for it ta happen, ya gotta believe that." I was dry sobbin now, He went to walk forward, But hesitated,
"Darlin' calm down, tell me whats wrong..." his voice was soft but the words couldn't form so i stepped out of the way looking down at the words on his tomb stone,
Jasper Whitlock Jr
Beloved son,
1863.
He just stared in shock,
"Ah tried to stay healthy, Ah was gonna tell you when you got leave again, Ah was so happy, we were gonna have a family together... Ah eat and drank the right things even after, but... but the depression wouldn't let up, Ah couldn't cope, it was a month after your funeral, I- Ah had to give birth to 'im, he was so tiny, Ah was't aloud to even hol' 'im, they took 'im straight away... Mama tried to get me to leave the house, but Ah refused, Ah just sat there all day." I gasped out dry sobbin' more he was still lookin' at it, so i continued to ramble, "Ah jus' stayed in the house, daddy tried to get me out of the house, tried draggin' me out sayin' that Ah could go home and be his little girl again, that you weren't worth the tears... I grabbed a cup and threw it at him, tol' him never to come back, tha' Ah was home and ah wasn' leavin'..." he still hadn't said anythin' "Jaspah?" i didn't get a responce,
He hated me...
I jus ran, i didn' look back i ran, i was in the wood a few states over,
this as a bad idea, i should have left as soon as i had seen him, packed up and left town.
"Ah!" suddenly my back was up against a tree and he was in front of me his hands moved to either side of my head and he leaned in pressin' his body to me, I didn't dare breath, my instincts were tellin' me to push him away and run, I tried but he was stronger, i had just gotten behind him when he had grabbed my arm and threw me back against the tree, I was a little scared now, "I'm sorry." I choked out, I looked up into his eyes, but my Jasper wasn't there, his eyes were black his face blank his body ridged, this wasn't Jasper at all, he oozed power and control, he was dangerous, a caged animal and i had a feelin' i had just opened the doors. "I'm Sorry." I repeated but still he didn't change,
"Why di' ya run?" his twang was the strongest i had ever heard it, his voice cold, i couldn't speak i felt the fear in my veins turning to ice, a pain hit my arm and i cried out, somethin' changed in his eyes and they lightened,
"Jasper, you're hurtin' me." I groan, just as suddenly as i had been against the tree he wasn't in front of me any more he was against the other tree,
"I'm sorry Darlin' Ah jus', Ah didn' want ya to leave, and then you were gone, somethin' snapped and i went a'ter ya, Why did ya run Darlin'?" i looked into his eyes, they weren't black they were gold again, this was my Jasper,
"I thought you hated me, Ah didn' want ta hear you say it, there were times when Ah thought it would be better just goin to the Volturi, Ah was alone, Ah thought you were dead, my little boy didn't even get to live, Garrett stopped me though, he was a good friend..."
"Garrett?"
"He was the one who turned me, Ah wasn't exactly alive when he found me..." I had thrown myself over a cliff, I was so close to dyin' and then there were these red eyes in front of me.
...
I just lay there looking up at the sky I would see my Jasper soon, both of them, then there was a shadow over the sky it was shaped like a man of sorts,
"Jasper." i gasped out, he had come to get me, to take me to see my baby boy,
"Sorry Love, My name's Garrett." I felt my heart sink, "This is gonna hurt a bit, but I promise you are going to be fine." I tried to shake my head, i just wanted to sleep, i would see my boys then...
A scream ripped through my lips as i felt like i was on fire,
"It'll be over soon." the strange voice whispered.
...
"What did you do?" i could hear the tremor in his voice knocking me from my thoughts,
"Ah had just lost my husband of 3 months and a month later Ah lost my child, Ah was convinced that Ah wasn't meant to be happy, so Ah took myself to the old cliff and Ah was gonna see you and my baby again." a humorless laugh passed my lips, "Instead Ah live for over a hundrend years tryin' to fit in. "Suddenly i was in his arms and his shoulders were shakin' he kept mutterin 'I'm sorry.'
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We had went back to Forks three days later, he refused to let me out of his sight and almost always was touchin' me in some way, I'm not sure if it was for his benefit or for mine, but i was happy either way, we would be fine eventually.
I got off the plain to see his family waitin for us.
A week later Esme and Carlisle the clan leader, asked if i would join their coven, after Jasper's constant beggin' i gave in, we became a 'thing' in school and i became a little better, there was still quite a bit i hadn't told Jasper about my past but we would get there someday, just a little at a time.
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There, i will not be adding anymore to this I'm sorry to say, just a spur of the moment ficlet.
Shadow OUT!
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