I haven't been updating as fast as usual so I made a long chapter to make up for it. All in Rox's pov.
Please Review!
That night I couldn't sleep. I hated myself for letting what Brittney said bother me. I've always been insecure and now having the idea that Roman could get bored with me and leave planted in my head it scared me.
I looked to the right side of me and saw Roman sleeping slightly snoring. I quietly got out of bed so I wouldn't wake him up and went downstairs. I walked into the kitchen got a glass a water and sat on the couch turning the tv on , on low volume. I started watching Halloween, Rob Zombie's version. I figured since I couldn't sleep mine as well watch a movie I like.
I looked at the clock and saw it was 3. No one would be up for at least another 5 hours. I went into the kitchen to make some popcorn. When it finished cooking I poured it into a bowl and decided to grab a beer from the fridge. Walking back into the living room I saw Seth sitting on the couch watching the movie.
"What are you doing up Seth?" He jumped and looked back at me.
"Geez Rox don't do that!"
"Sorry" I laughed. I walked around the couch and put the popcorn on the table and opened my beer.
"Rough night?" He asked.
"Just can't sleep. Beer sounds better than water right now." I shrugged.
"I hear ya."
"Want me to get you one?" I asked looking over at him.
"Naw it's okay I'll get my own."
He came back and took a big drink of his beer.
"Are you okay Seth?"
"I guess."
"What's going on?"
He shrugged his shoulders.
"Look Seth I know we're not close but I think we should work on being better friends. I mean your two best friends are my best friend and boyfriend and we're always around each other we should know more about each other ya know?"
"Yeah I get that so why don't you start?"
"What do you want to know?" I asked taking a drink of my beer and eating some pop corn.
"Why you're up at 3 am watching Halloween and drinking beer."
"I couldn't sleep."
"Well yes I can see that. There's a reason so tell me yours and I'll tell you mine. There has to be some good things to tell at 3 am." he said while nudging my shoulder.
"When I went out with Brittney it wasn't really to see who was going to be around her daughter or anything. She said she was going to sign the papers anyway she just wanted to warn me about Roman."
"What about him?" He asked turning his body so he can look directly at me.
"Basically that she is how she is because of him. That she was in love with him and he got bored and turned her into the person she is now.. She was just hinting at or saying, whatever, that he would get bored with me and cheat on me and change me just like he did her. She told me I was going to get hurt bad."
"And you believe her?"
I sat quietly and he touched my arm. "Rox..I'm not going to tell him what you say okay? I know the only person you can go to if you don't want to go to Roman is Dean and we all know Dean will tell Roman thinking it's the right thing to do. But I get that some times you just need to get it off your chest. So whatever you tell me is between you and me okay?"
I nodded my head and moved to face him "I don't know if I believe her. I mean there's this part of me that is like Roman is so amazing and loving and genuine he would never treat people the way she is saying he does. But there's this other part, I know i'm going to sound like a hypocrite, that is like well he cheated on her with me he can easily do it to me. I don't even understand why he is with me right now. I feel like there's millions of prettier, smarter, less damaged girls that could make him happy so he can easily get bored with me and find someone else he wants instead."
"Roman isn't like that. He wasn't raised like that and he would never do that. I swear it has something to do with him having a daughter, he treats females so much better, if that's even possible than he did before. He was with her for 7 or 8 years and she cheated on him multiple times after he got in WWE. He only stayed for his daughter. He talked to me a lot about this situation Rox. He tried so hard to stay in love with her but he couldn't. Then he realized he was in love with you but didn't want to hurt his daughter and then you were in a relationship and he tried to back off but couldn't. This is an extreme circumstance that he cheated. If he still had any sort of feelings for her what happened with you never would have. The only one who changed because of anyone was Roman. You even saw it. She just showed her true colors and now that she couldn't keep her hooks in Roman she's looking to make you so worried that you'll leave, thinking he'll come back to her. I don't know if any of this is helping but Roman is in love with you and would go to hell and back for you. Brittney is bitter and wants to ruin his happiness. Don't let her effect you two. If you're this worried talk to Roman. Really only he can make you feel less worried about your relationship."
I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. "Thank you Seth. You're completely right." He smiled a huge smile "You're welcome Rox! Glad to help."
"So what about you? Why are you up at 3?"
He leaned back into the couch while drinking the rest of his beer.
"I don't know if you know I've been dating a girl for a while now." I nodded my head when he looked at me and he looked back at the tv.
"Well we've been dating for about a year, she wanted to move in together and I said okay, you know no big deal I spend my one day off a week with her anyway, then she started talking about marriage, and kids, and buying her a ring and I don't know if I even want kids, marriage fine but not now."
"Have you told her that?"
"Yeah I told her she was moving a bit too fast for me. Even though we've been together a year we haven't spent a lot of time together. That our relationship would go at a slower pace than what she expects. I don't even feel we should go on a time thing like oh at 1.5 years you should be engaged, I feel like we should just go at a pace that feels right to us. She agreed to that part but now she's always bitching at me for what fans say to me like I control it. She keeps saying if I loved her I would put a ring on it and let everyone know it's for good but I don't even know if it's for good and she loves the idea of kids and I don't. We were skyping and she started that shit again so I cam down here for some fresh air but saw someone else was awake so decided to just sit here."
"Seth if she's pressuring you that much it's not okay. I get she gets upset by what the fans say but that's our life. Whoever you're with needs to be comfortable or at least be able to deal with that. And having kids is a huge thing. If you two have opposite views on that and neither are willing to budge maybe it's best to call it quits before you hold on longer and get more hurt you know?"
"Yeah I know. I know I need to end it with her but I don't want to but it's not because I don't want to lose her and that's horribly selfish."
"Then why don't you want to end it?"
"Because being with her makes it where I have someone to go home to. I don't know what's worse though. Having someone waiting for you or having someone not waiting for you."
"What do you mean?"
"Having someone waiting for you is nice. You get to come home to someone and you know with our lives it's nice to have someone to relax with and just be with and spend time with but leaving them behind feels awful. But then having no one there is such a lonely feeling. We're around hundreds if not thousands of people a night so going home and it being silent and having no one around is lonely. It's like wrestling took over your life and there's nothing outside of it. Like life after wrestling would be extremely lonely."
I grabbed his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze "I can understand all that but Seth it's not fair to you or her. If you two want different things ultimately you won't last and then you'll be alone. You have so many years to find that girl for you, you have decades left if you choose, before you leave wrestling. You deserve more than settling. And if you stay with her you can be missing out on the girl you would be perfect with. The one who will want everything you do. If this girl isn't the one for you don't waste your or hers time, it's not worth it."
"You're right. I knew it all along but.. it just sucks knowing I'll be going to an empty house on my days off."
"Anytime you don't want to be alone you can come back to Roman's house or my apartment or Deans."
"You're not going to officially move here?"
"I don't know..me and Roman haven't talked about it. Besides leaving Dean behind would be really hard. Ever since I've known him he's been within 30 minutes from me so I might just try to convince him to move back here and we'll leave together that way we'll still be around Roman you know?"
"That makes sense."
"You should move here too. If you want. Then you won't have to worry about being alone." I said smiling and getting excited.
Seth laughed at me then stood up "Alright I'll think about it. Want another beer?"
"Sure." he walked to the kitchen and got us both another beer.
"You tired at all?" He asked handing me another beer.
"No, i figured i'll just stay up watching this Halloween marathon. Want to stay up with me?"
"No doubt."
The next morning I woke up to the smell of food being made. I grabbed mine and Seth's empty beer bottled and walked into the kitchen to throw them away. I saw Dean cooking and looked at him weirdly.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Since when do you make food for everyone?"
"Since when do you sleep on the couch with Seth instead of in the room with your boyfriend?" he asked with a bit of a tone.
"Uh since we watched a movie and fell asleep. It's not like it was planned. What's with the attitude?"
"I don't have an attitude."
"Yes you do."
"Just kinda weird to walk down the stairs with my best friend and see his girlfriend sleeping on the couch with our other best friend is all."
"I told you we fell asleep.. what's the problem? I've fallen asleep on the same couch as you plenty of times Dean."
He ignored me and kept cooking when Seth walked in.
"What's up guys?" Seth asked stretching.
"Trying to figure out what Dean's attitude is about and what's so bad about us falling asleep on the couch together." i answered staring at Dean.
"Wait what?" Seth asked leaning on the counter behind him.
"Dean is giving me a tone and making sure to point out I'm dating one of his best friends and slept on the couch with the other best friend. I'm trying to figure out why." I said.
"What's the problem?" Seth asked confused.
"The problems not with you Seth so drop it." Dean said in a monotone voice.
"So the problems with me...what's the problem?!" I said raising my voice.
Dean slammed the spatula down and turned glaring at me. "Drop it Rox!"
"I didn't even do anything so no I want to know why you're mad at me."
"Honestly? You know I love you Rox but I don't trust you as a girlfriend to Roman."
"What?" I asked confused.
"I don't trust you."
"Why?"
"You've cheated before how do I know you won't cheat on him? You know I'm protective of my friends."
"He cheated too! So you don't trust him now?"
"I trust him because I know he was in love with you the whole time. You had feelings for both him and Jason. YOU were going to stay with Jason. You cried over Jason and now you're with Roman. Who's to say you won't get feelings for another guy? Who's to say you won't cheat again? So yeah seeing you laying on the couch with Seth and not with Roman got me a little concerned. Not because I think you'd do something with Seth." he put his hand up towards Seth when Seth was about to interrupt "but because I don't trust you to stay faithful to Roman. So you're in his house and leave his bedroom and he walks down to see you sleeping with Seth it's weird! I trust Seth and that's why I'm not even asking if something happened but if it wasn't Seth I would be asking a million questions I think it's just better if you stay in the bedroom with Roman at night."
I was speechless. If Roman wasn't here cooking like he always was, he saw us on the couch just like Dean did and Dean felt this strongly about it Roman probably did too. Roman didn't trust me. All that doubt and fear I talked out with Seth came back. I'm not good enough for him. I love him and I suck at showing that and now he doesn't trust me. He should just leave me if he doesn't trust me then. And Dean is protective over his friends but not me... He made sure to point out Seth and Roman were his best friends but I was just the "girlfriend". I felt like shit. I felt like I got punched in the stomach and I had to get out of there. I stormed out of the kitchen to the front door grabbing my car keys along the way. I felt tears running down my face. When I opened the door Roman and Jessica were reaching out to open it. I stormed passed them.
"Baby what's wrong?" I heard Roman call after me. I kept walking. I didn't want to talk to anyone right now I just wanted to leave.
I felt Roman grab my arm and turn me around.
"Why are you crying?"
"Leave me alone." I said turning around and unlocking my car door. I looked over and saw Jessica, Seth and Dean watching from the front door. Seeing Dean just made me so pissed off. I felt like I was on fire.
"No. Tell me what's going on?" Roman said sternly.
"Roman.. leave. me. alone." I said getting into my car and putting on my seatbelt.
"What the hell is going on?" Roman asked as I started the car.
"Ask your best friend." I reached out and slammed the door shut, locking it so he couldn't open it. I drove out of the drive way seeing Roman watching me looking sad and confused.
I was driving around for a few hours. I left my cell phone back at home and I was grateful for that. I pulled up to the beach and was sitting on the rocks away from most the people. A few people asked me for some autographs and pictures and i put on my best happy face for them. Some of them asked me a few wrestling questions, some asked how my "injury" was going most asked if Roman and I were dating since that's what's been going around on the dirt sheets. I avoided the questions as much as I could before the finally left. I sat on the rocks looking at the ocean thinking. Dean knew me better than anyone else and if he didn't trust me why would Roman? No relationship should have this much trouble in the beginning steps. Maybe my doubts and what Dean told me were signs. Maybe me and Roman shouldn't be together.
I stayed out most the day and finally pulled back up to the house at 5pm. An hour before we usually eat. I sat in the car gathering my thoughts before walking back into the house. Dean looked at me with slight worry on his face but i rolled my eyes and looked at Roman.
"Can we talk...alone?" I asked quietly.
Roman nodded and got up walking over to the front door where I was standing.
"Wait before you guys go I just wanna say-"
"You've said enough Dean." I said cutting him off and walking outside with Roman.
"Are you okay Rox?" Roman said sitting down on the steps with me.
"I'm not sure..." I said quietly playing with my hands. Roman scooted closer to me and went to put his arm around me but I moved away.
"What is going on?"
"Do you not trust me?"
"Where is this coming from?"
"Why don't you answer the question?"
"I do trust you, do you not trust me?"
"I do."
"So what the hell is going on right now?"
"Dean just... he doesn't trust me around with you. He made it seem like you don't either.."
"Because of the Seth thing? It was weird in a sense of why were you guys down there but i didn't think anything happened. I know you wouldn't do that."
"He made it sound like you were mad. That I shouldn't have been down there with Seth but in all fairness we didn't go down together he just showed up and we talked."
"About what?"
"His relationship and my doubts and fears in ours."
"Wait a minute...you have doubts and fears about our relationship and instead of talking to the person in the relationship you go to Seth?" Roman looked at me. I could tell from his face he was slightly irritated.
"I asked him why he was up and told him why I was.."
"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you wake me up if it was that serious?"
"It wasn't serious.. It was my own insecurities and what Brittney told me and-"
"You said nothing happened with Brittney. So you lied to me?" Roman said getting up and standing infront of me his back turned to me.
"I didnt want you to freak out over nothing."
"It was obviously something. Something you felt better talking to Seth about than the two people you're closest with."
"I tried to talk to Dean he went to get you."
"OH! So it is about our relationship and you decided to tell everyone but me?! Nice Rox. Awesome" he said walking a little bit away.
"I'm sorry Roman I'm bad at this! I don't want to fight with you so I dont tell you things."
"And that's why we fight! You were so much more open with me when we were just friends Rox what the hell?!"
"Then maybe we should be just friends!" I yelled back.
"I really wish you would have fucking decided that before we started any of this." He walked passed me into the house and slammed the door.
I put my head onto my knees and started crying. After a few minutes I felt a small hand on my shoulder and looked up and saw Jessica. I wiped the tears from my eyes and pulled her into my lap. "Hey Jess."
"Hi Rox. Why are you crying?"
"I made a mistake."
"That's okay. Just fix it."
"I don't think I can fix it that easy."
"Just say sorry. Daddy told me if you make a mistake to always fix it."
I smiled slightly and looked up when I heard a car pulling up. Aaron walked out of it and up to me and Jessica. I stood up, put Jessica down and told her to go inside.
"What's up buttercup?" Aaron said smirking at me.
"Why are you here?"
"Oh you suddenly have a voice around me. Cute. I need you to tell your little boyfriend to drop this bull shit. Brittney shouldn't have to sign her rights over and you know it."
"As long as you're around that's what is best for Jessica." I said taking a step back when his eyes darkened.
"I'M NOT A DANGER TO THAT LITTLE BRAT! I DON'T HURT KIDS!" He yelled getting in my face. Suddenly I couldn't find my voice. I felt like I was right back in that room. The room he always attacked me in and I froze. "Nothing to say now huh?!" I tried to take another step back but he grabbed my arm and pulled me closer "I thought you would have known by now to not speak against me."
"Let go of her!" I heard a small voice yell. I turned my head and saw Jessica standing there with teary eyes.
"Jess go inside. Everything is fine."
"Listen to your dad's bitch and go inside!" he said in a stern intimidating voice. Jessica turned around and ran inside.
"Don't talk to her like that."
He snapped his head towards me "Since when do you think you can boss me around?!" he tightened his grip on me and got closer til his body was right against mine. "I taught you once what happens to bad girls and I have no problem doing it again."
Suddenly Aaron got pushed backwards down the stairs. I saw Roman standing infront of me.
"You get the hell off my property right now and don't you ever even think of coming back!"
Aaron stood up and looked like he was going to try to fight Roman until he saw Seth and Dean.
"This isn't over!" Aaron yelled as he got into his car and drove away.
When Roman turned around I expected him to look pissed at me but he looked completely concerned. He pulled me into a hug and held me extremely tight.
"Are you okay?" he whispered in my ear.
I just nodded my head and buried my head into his chest.
"Come help us pick out something for dinner Jess." Seth said. I heard the door shut and pulled back from Roman a lil to look up at him.
"Thank you."
"I told you I'd never let anyone hurt you."
"Rome... I don't want you to leave me.. or be just friends with me."
"I'm not leaving you Rox. Long haul remember? We're going to fight but don't worry that it's over okay? I'm not going anywhere."
"I know I have a lot to work on and I'm trying okay? Don't give up on me."
"I'm never going to give up on you. I know you have issues. We all do and i'm going to help you through them."
"You're amazing. I'm so lucky to have you babe."
Roman smiled and bent down to kiss me.
"I don't want to ruin this moment but..when Aaron says something isn't over, it never is..." I looked down and Roman kissed me on the top of my head.
"I'm ready for whatever he is going to do okay? Let me worry about that. He'll never hurt you or Jessica I promise."