Vala slowly slipped back into a restful slumber. Daniel could see a faint smile and realized his home had always been with Vala. He would wait and tell her what happened. The Blue Flame would be a mystery to them; but he was grateful for this miraculous miracle and his friends and now wife, was back safe were they all belonged; Together.
It was three more days until Vala was well enough to be released from the infirmary. Teal'c, Sam, Mitchell and Daniel had still held their vigil and refused to leave Vala's side for the entire time. When Dr. Lam finally released Vala, she was still stiff for some reason. Dr. Lam found no real physical problem with Vala other than she may have suffered some physical side affects from her reported tortures. Daniel and his friends worked with Vala, like physical therapist to exercise her muscles and Daniel gave her muscle messages. Other than the few thank you's and smiles of appreciation; Vala rarely spoke to them. Even Daniel thought it out of character that Vala didn't speak a lot. She often went to sleep after her exercises and her answers were usually one worded.
After a couple of weeks, Vala wanted to do muscle therapy on her own. She would stay for hours in the base sauna and exercise alone. Every time Daniel tried to talk to her about what happened Vala would say she was tired and just wanted to go to bed. Daniel had given Vala her space and only wanted to please her by giving her time to herself. Daniel in the mean time was making arraignments for Vala to move into his house. Both had stayed on base and Daniel never had the chance to discuss with Vala their living quarters. Both had stayed in either the others room and since Vala often was sleep, he stayed away from forcing himself to sleep with her.
Daniel also discussed making it legal to have Vala as his wife. Mitchell unofficially married them while prisoners, but Daniel wanted to make sure there was no way that Woosley and NID could annul their marriage. After speaking with General Landry, and of course Gen O'Neill, paperwork was submitted and without a hitch there was a marriage certificate produced with full citizenship. Daniel wanted to immediately speak to Vala and tell her the good news. He had kept the whole procedure a secret to surprise her. When he knocked on her room door, he heard a muffled sound.
"Vala?...Vala? Are you in there? I have something to show you."
Daniel felt something was not right. He used his card and opened the door. He found the room dark and cold. The hallway light was the only light filtering in. When he went to turn on the light switch, he found a glob of blankets on the bed. He saw a slight movement and walked over to see if Vala was sleeping. He pulled down the covers and Vala was crying uncontrollably and in a fetal position. He didn't hesitate for a minute. He gathered her up and carried her to the infirmary. On the way there he ran into Sam and Mitchell headed to the mess hall. They immediately were concerned and followed Daniel.
"Daniel; what happened? Asked Sam with concern.
"I don't know Sam. I found her curled up into a fetal position crying. She hasn't said a word. I don't think she even knows I'm carrying her."
"Were right behind you Jackson. Let's see Dr. Lam first. She'll know what to do." Stated Mitchell.
Daniel called out for Dr. Lam and she immediately saw Daniel carrying Vala. She had him place Vala on the infirmary bed and informed them to wait outside she would speak to them later. Daniel was worried sick. He knew that Vala had been sleeping a lot and not talking to him about anything. He waited by the doors impatiently and waited for Carolyn to speak to him.
Sam, Mitchell and Daniel waited patiently for Dr. Lam's diagnosis. In the mean time Teal'c had found out that Vala was taken to the infirmary and Gen Landry had informed Teal'c to have Mitchell inform him of Vala's condition. They all had been concerned at Vala's quite demeanor, and kept their distance to allow her to rest and give Daniel and Vala time together.
"Daniel I've noticed that Vala has been spending time alone, even away from us." Said Sam. "Has she said anything to you about what happened?
Sam didn't want to pry into Daniel's business, but Sam pretty much stated what they were all thinking.
"No, and I really didn't expect her to talk about what happened to her. I don't even know if she remembers what has happened to her. She's been so distant since we came back. I……….I wanted to surprise her today and you guys too with some good news. I received our marriage certificate and full citizenship for Vala. I wanted to celebrate the good news with her and found her crying. I……..I think I'm losing her Sam. I…….I don't know what to do."
"Carolyn will find out what's wrong. You both have all of us here to help. You're not alone Daniel and Vala never will be either." Reassuring Daniel; they all agreed with Sam and waited.
Dr. Lam finally stepped thru the doors and they all stood up with concern to see what was wrong.
"I need to speak to all of you in my office. I want to speak to you all in private." Stated Carolyn.
They looked at one another and Daniel was trying not to think the worst. They all sat down solemnly, not knowing what to expect.
"First I want you to know………
"Daniel please. Call me Daniel."
"Ok, first, I have Vala under light sedation. She's stable and can be released tomorrow. But that's not why I wanted to speak to all of you. I've read all the reports from each of you and the ones that are classified. I need to know what you didn't see that happened to Vala and what happened to her that could induce a mental breakdown."
They all sat back with most of them looking at the floor. This was a personal matter they thought should be discussed with Daniel alone.
"No offense Carolyn, but what can all of us do to help Vala? Asked Mitchell. "I think this is a personal matter for Daniel and Vala."
"Carolyn, what do you mean mental breakdown? Is Vala going to be alright. Please, tell me what's wrong?" Daniel was a little upset that Carolyn was airing something personal, but knew his friends understood.
"I'm saying this to all of you, because it concerns all of you. In the confidential report, it read that all of you witnessed Vala being beaten and raped. It also states that Adria may have tortured Vala and Ba'al tortured her with a Gou'ald hand device. This alone could cause very dangerous mind probing and I'm concerned that Vala's natural defenses have been compromised."
"You mean she's………..she's going insane?" As soon as the word left Daniel's mouth he was frightened of Carolyn's answer.
"I mean Daniel that Vala has suffered in front of her friends. The humiliation that I perceive she suffered has caused her to shutdown. Cut you all off from how she really feels. I think she is so ashamed of what has happened to her that she can't stand to look at any of you."
Sam interjected. "But, she was forced to keep us alive, and was beaten to do so Carolyn. We never blamed her for that. We all saw what happened to her being raped………….
Sam was starting to choke up, knowing that she witnessed Vala's humiliation.
"Have any of you talked about what happened to Vala?" Asked Carolyn.
"No Carolyn, she won't even speak to me." Said Daniel. "I……I thought she just needed time to for……….get."
"No, she has never mentioned what happened to her or I don't even know if she remembers what happened to her." Stated Mitchell.
"Indeed."
"Were any of you with her or witness to what happened to her all the time?"
"Daniel answered with trepidation. "No…….no Carolyn. We………we only were made to see her beaten when she fed us and rap…. raped …………….
Daniel couldn't finish his sentence. He still felt guilty at being helpless to save Vala, as they all did. Daniel could barely hold in his emotions at what Carolyn was conveying.
"From what you all conveyed, Vala has always shown resilience and strength against unspeakable odds. She was a former host to a Gou'ald that relished in blood and terror. Yet Vala remained optimistic on her life and how she wanted to survive. And that's the point. She has always survived with no one to see how she did it or witness the pain she suffered. Now the reports say she was tortured thru some mind machine that revealed her darkest secrets of her whole life. From what you say Col Mitchell in your report, her memories were ripped from her mind against her will and revealed what she kept locked up all those years."
"We……..we all saw thru this machine, her memories of Quetesh. She………she went into convulsions when the memories we believed, were forced. When we escaped she was unconscious for hours. We………..she never came around until she was tortured by Ba'al, at least that we know of." Said Daniel.
"So there were times you witnessed what she went thru and others times you did not; am I correct?" Asked Carolyn.
"Indeed." Vala Mol Doran was mostly in pain from her torture. There were times that she calmed down, but only thru a lullaby or unconsciousness." Stated Teal'c.
"What………what can we do for her Carolyn? I can't lose her this way." Stated Daniel.
"Here's my assessment. Vala has always been a strong person from what I know. The fact she survived Quetesh is proof enough for me. But now, her walls have been forced down and she's been laid bare, especially in front of all of you. I know you're her friends and teammates, but she barely had time to recover from one physical torture to one of a mental attack. I believe every time she sees any of you, she feels shame, humiliation and she doesn't want to be reminded of it everyday. I'm going to suggest something unorthodox."
"Anything Carolyn, please anything to help Vala." Daniel was beside himself.
"Because of the sensitivity of the mission, I can't bring in a psychiatrist. But I want to try something that will draw Vala's emotions out."
"What would that be Dr. Lam? Asked Sam.
"I need Vala to confront all of you at the same time. You trusted Vala with your lives. Now you need to have Vala trust you with hers."
Daniel was pensive and silent as they all were. He was shaking his head at what Carolyn was proposing and everyone was giving thought to Dr. Lam's assessment of a cure for Vala. They all wanted to help and they would do anything for Vala.
"What's wrong Daniel?" Asked Sam.
"I…….I remember when Vala was feeding us, and beaten. She never said one word to us. Even when she was possessed by the Ori flames and the odd Blue Flames. She never said a word. I'm scared Sam. I'm scared we may push her too far."
"Daniel look at me." Dr. Lam wanted everyone's full attention, but especially Daniel.
"I don't want to hurt Vala in any way. But she has lost who or what she was. If we don't do this, you could lose her anyway. I've done this before and it's worked with no dire after affects. But if she shuts down, then we may not be able to bring her back."
They all looked at one another and shook their head in agreement. If ever there was a time to help their friend out, than this was their only best solution.
"Ok Carolyn. When do we begin? And when can I see her?"
"Tomorrow morning Daniel, and you can see her now."
All of them left Carolyn's office and watched Daniel go in to see Vala. They would wait until tomorrow to see how Vala would react to this procedure.
Daniel walked in to see how peacefully Vala was sleeping. Daniel sat down beside her bed and wondered how much more was Vala going to take? She had been thru the worst torture he could imagine and now he was losing her in a most unexpected way; through insanity. He whispered to her not knowing if she could hear him, but he wanted to reassure her, that he was here with her and he would love her, no matter what happened.
"I'm……..I'm scared Vala. I'm scared for you. You've always been strong and I never understood that your smile and playful way, was a way for you to cope with all the horror in your life. I was so wrapped up in my own pain, that I couldn't even see how much you were suffering. I can't see my life without you Vala, I can only see our future. The only thing in my life I care about is you. I want to spend everyday telling you how much I love you and showing it. We are going to get thru this together and all of us want to help. We love you Vala and we are all going to help you, no matter what."
Daniel leaned down to kiss Vala and held her hand until he fell asleep beside her bed.
A/N: I couldn't stop dreaming about this scene. I finally realized I needed this to continue this story. So feedback and reviews are welcomed. It's not my best but my muse was obsessed about this.