I just want to let you know I do change my story around based on your reviews. They're really helpful. A lot of people are saying Seth had bad timing and I did that on purpose. Some people want no Seth and Rox, some want him to try harder. The timing made it perfect to be able to do either one of those. So if/when you review let me know if you want Seth to try harder/again OR if you want no more between Seth and Rox. And any other things you might want to happen, or want more details about. :)

Thank you bella315 for the part of your review to the guest! I appreciate it.

"Okay. Talk." I said looking at him expectantly.

He sat there for a few moments with a concentrated look on his face. "Rox I fucked up. Majorly. I don't honestly know why I blamed you for anything that happened to Brittney. I know it wasn't your fault it was just easy to do. I don't have a logical reason, hell I don't even have any reason to give you as to why I did it I just did. And when I slept with that girl I was drunk. I drank so much that night just to try to forget about you and it did help a little but I did think of you afterwards. I thought we were over for good I was just hoping we weren't and then the look you had on your face when you saw me with her completely crushed me. I've never seen you look at me with such...hatred before. If I didn't do any of this you never would have been alone and Aaron and Jason never would have hurt you. I'm just so sorry Rox. For everything and I just want to fix everything between us. If that's even possible."

"I'm not mad at you for necessarily blaming me for what happened with Brittney I'm mad and hurt at the things you said to me. It hurt to hear she's the love of your life because you're mine. I know that's immature but it hurt. I understand why though. The thing that hurt the most was you saying you regretted meeting me. I felt like what we had was way more special than that and you just left me and hurt me more than anyone ever has. Emotionally. I tried to leave and you kept telling me to stay you promised it was for the long haul. I trusted you and you broke my heart. I kept telling myself you were just in shock over Brittney and we would work it out just like we always do but then...I saw you with.." I paused to compose myself as I felt tears threatening to fall out. "I saw you with that girl and figured we weren't ever going to fix it. I convinced myself that everything Brittney told me was right and I got hurt just like she said I would. I was hoping you would lie when I asked if she was good ya know? But she's good meant you enjoyed it. I couldn't even think of being with another person and you enjoyed being with another person and it just makes me feel like I'm not good enough, like I never have and never will measure up to the girl you want." I sniffled. "But when it comes to them.. don't blame yourself I would have been alone eventually and this would have happened. You saved me."

"Stop that Rox."

"Stop what?"

"Stop painting me like some kind of hero that saved you. I can tell just by looking your eyes that you're not okay. You look so broken and it's my fault."

"I'm not painting you as a hero Roman. What I said was true you did save me."

"After I broke you." he said running a hand through his hair.

"I don't know what to say that honestly." I said looking at him intently.

"Just say the truth. I broke you. You trusted me and I destroyed it."

"You did. I'll admit you broke me. I tried so hard to be good to you and Jessica and you didn't care. And no matter how many times I had fun or was smiling or laughing or how many times Seth tried to cheer me up it didn't change the fact that the one person who could help me wanted nothing to do with me. But I understand."

"Rox! Stop understanding! Stop bringing up what happened tonight to counter what I did before. Tell me how you really feel stop trying to make this okay. Stop trying to excuse what I did and just be honest so we can get all this out!" he suddenly yelled.

"You want honesty? Fine. I hated you Roman. I trusted you so much and loved you more than I had ever loved anyone in my life and you left. I told you things I never told anyone before and you told me you were going to be there for me and you weren't. I feel like you made both my best friends leave me. I only had you and Dean and you both left me and I'd be lying if I said I didn't blame you for that. You let me feel like I belonged somewhere and actually had a family for once and then you kicked me out just like everyone always does! For the first time in my life I felt genuinly safe and comfortable. LIke everything was how it was meant to be then you pulled the carpet out from under my feet and left me to pick up the pieces alone. I have never felt so alone in my life and I resented you for it. And what really pisses me off is that even after all of that even when I hated you I still loved you and blamed myself. I hate myself so much for letting you do that to me and letting you have that power over me. But not once did I regret it because you made me feel a way that I never have before. A way I didn't even know existed and when you told me you regretted meeting me I felt useless and worthless. I didn't know why I was here since all I do is cause problems. I just wanted to disappear. Is that honest enough for you?" I said tears streaming down my face.

He got down on his knees in front of me and grabbed my hands in his and kissed them.

"Baby girl if I could take all of that back I would in a heartbeat. I know you trusted me and I destroyed that. None of this was your fault okay? None of it. All of it was me. If I would have listened it wouldn't have gotten to this point. I never truly regretted you. I never could. The whole reason I said that is because I know you and I know how you are. I knew that you would still be there for me even after me blaming you so in my head I decided to think of something that would make sure you would leave me alone and I said it. It was completely stupid because every time you walked away it hurt more and more. I made sure Brittney's funeral was on your day off so you could be there. Not just for Jess but for me too. You just being there helped me. Everything I told you then was a lie. I can't justify or give a reason but I was wrong. It kills me to know I made you feel that way and I'll never stop trying to make it up but you know what?"

"What?" I asked looking down into his eyes.

"I love you and I'll never stop. That's why your storyline with Seth pisses me off. I hate you kissing anyone else especially someone who was so close to me."

"At least I didn't sleep with him."

He looked down then back up. "I'm sorry. That doesn't fix anything but I truly am sorry." I could see he was sincere but it still bothered me.

"Maybe we're just not meant to be Rome."

"Yeah we are Rox."

"We fell apart."

"Sometimes two people have to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together."

"That totally sounded like a fortune cookie." I joked.

"It did but it's true. I think tonight just proved how much we need each other."

"Or how much I need you." i whispered.

"Rox you got Jason off of me when he was going to stab me. Aaron was coming at me from behind and you protected me. We needed each other. We still do."

"I'm scared Roman.." I said pulling my hands away from him and hugging myself.

"No..don't. Don't do that." he said gently grabbing my hands and pulling them back down to my lap. "Don't close yourself off from me now. Talk to me. What are you afraid of?"

"You." he looked at me waiting for me to say more. "I'm afraid of trusting you and being kicked out again. I'm afraid of being left. I'm afraid of you going out and finding some random girl to hook up with. I'm afraid you'll get drunk and cheat on me. I don't trust you anymore..."

He took a deep breath and ran his thumbs over the tops of my hands. "I understand that. I don't expect you to trust me right away. I'm going to earn it back. I'm going to prove to you that you can trust me and won't regret this."

"You know when we fight I'll probably end up asking if you went out and cheated on me right?"

"And the answer will be no. It'll always be no. I promise you that. You don't have to believe me right now but please.. give me a chance to prove it to you and show you that I mean it when I say I love you."

"I love you too Roman." I said quietly.

"You better." he joked

"I killed two people for you I think that proves it... Too soon?" I asked. He playfully rolled his eyes.

"Maybe a wee bit too soon."

"Please don't make me regret this." I said looking into his eyes feeling extremely insecure.

"I won't babe." he said and leaned up to kiss me. I moved my head and he looked up at me. "What's wrong?"

"I just want to make it clear we're not back together...I'm giving you the chance to show me why I should willingly put myself in a situation that hurt me, again. You've said a lot of sweet things tonight but you've said sweet things before and your actions went against it. So this time...show me before I give in."

"Alright...that sounds fair." he said.

"One more thing I need you to do for me Roman."

"What's that?"

"Make up with Seth."

"We did."

"No you said what, 3 words to each other, fist bumped and are friends again. That didn't fix anything we both know what happened needs to be talked out in more than 3 words. And considering he was the only one who didn't leave me I'm not going to stop being friends with him. You have been friends for years so now you need to sit down and actually talk and fix things."

"Fine."

"I'm serious Roman. Fix things with Seth. Really fix things with him."

"I will. Tomorrow. I promise."

I studied his face for a minute before I nodded my head.

"Are you going to talk to Dean?"

"Yup."

"The old gang will be back together." He said smiling.

"No. I'm going to talk to him. I'm done trying to be his friend. I'm just talking to him so we can be cordial. That's all."

"Rox- "

"Don't push me on this Roman. I know what I want okay?"

"Okay, okay." He said holding his hands up. "Want to go get some sleep?" he asked.

"No I'm going to stay up."

"Are you sure?"

"Considering the last time I went to sleep I ended up waking up to a guy in my house. Oh and the fact that I have a concussion and got my head slammed in the ground I'll feel better staying awake."

"Should I take you to the hospital?! I wasn't thinking."

"Thinking clearly isn't so easy huh?" he looked down "I'll be fine. I'm just going to go watch some TV. You go to bed though."

"I can stay up with you."

"I want to be alone. Think about what I want to say to Dean."

"Alright. You know where I am if you need me. Good night Rox." he said walking inside as I stayed outside a little bit longer before going in the house and watching TV.

Dean came down the stairs earlier than everyone the next morning looking exhausted. He walked into the kitchen and started the coffee pot and I followed him in there.

"Hey Rox, want some coffee?" he asked.

"Sure."

He took down two coffee cups and waited for the coffee to finish and poured some in both our cups.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked.

"Of course."

"Outside. I don't want to wake anyone up."

He nodded his head and walked to the back patio and sat in the patio swing while I sat on the bench next to him.

"Are you okay? After last night and everything." he asked glancing at me.

"I'm fine. I probably should be bothered by what I did but I feel relief."

It fell quiet both of us drinking our coffee.

"I don't know exactly how to say this so I'm just going to spit it out alright?"

"Sure thing. Go ahead."

I took one more drink and put my coffee cup on the table.

"I think it's bullshit how you just left me. I mean I was always on your side and had your back through everything and you always leave me."

"I had your back through Jason." he interrupted.

"Yeah.. after you yelled at me and left me. Roman agreed with you and Seth on that but he didn't leave. He made sure I found out for myself and was there the whole time and you weren't. Any fight between me and Roman you take his side. You even got mad at me for sleeping on the couch with Seth saying you don't trust me even though Roman cheated too."

"How are things with Seth? Heard he got feelings for you. Kinda like I knew would happen."

"Don't be an ass okay? I'm trying to make things cordial between us okay?"

He rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"Okay you know what fuck it. What is your problem with me? What did I do that was so bad to make you not like me?" I said raising my voice.

"Nothing. If you pay attention to what I say to you and do for you you'd see it's in your best interest. I know what's going to happen. Seth for example. But you like to flip out and make things bigger than they are. Did you forget everything you said to me before you left?"

"Did you forget what you said AND did to me to make me say that?!"

"I'm not going to argue with you. If we're going to fight I'll just leave." I wanted to say typical but I wanted to get this conversation over with so I didn't.

"We're not best friends Dean." I said suddenly. He put his cup down and moved til he was facing me. "We both know it. If we were best friend you would stick by me through anything. And you don't. Best friends don't fight as much as we do."

"You're right." he sighed.

"Honestly just thinking about all this I feel like we said we were best friends because we felt obligated to. LIke we had to do it. Because of everything we've been through together and how long we have known each other we stayed best friends because we thought it was the thing to do not because we wanted to."

"I know what you mean. I think this friendship was fading and slowly dying like a lot of friendships do. Not because you don't want to be friends things just happen. If you didn't get with Roman I have no doubt that me and you wouldn't have made up after one of our fights and we wouldn't be friends if that makes sense."

"It does. It sucks though. After everything I would have bet everything I had that this friendship was one that was going to last. I don't know when it all changed but I hate it. You were always like my big brother and now I feel like we're strangers."

"Maybe there wasn't a point where it changed. It could have just faded. We both have our own lives and we grew apart."

"We live within 30 minutes of each other for years, we work together, we have the same friends, we're together all the time..how can we just grow apart like that?"

"It just happened. Not all friendships last forever ya know?"

"I wanted ours to though."

"Our interests became different Rox. We used to hang out and party together all the time, stay up all night playing video games, watching movies, doing random shit. i still do that but you were with Roman and Jessica. It's like you're going into this more mature stage in life and have different cares and interests and concerns that I just don't relate to in the slightest."

"But you and Roman haven't grown apart." I pointed out.

"I don't know what to say Rox. I still love and care about you. We're just not close like we used to be."

I nodded my head and looked at the yard.

"We can try to fix our friendship Rox."

"I'm so sick of fighting with you. That's all we do."

"Maybe.. maybe we just don't be friends right now. We just take a break. We don't hang out just us two or do friend things unless it's in a group or something you know what I mean? See if we actually do want to fix the friendship because that's what we want or if we are trying to fix it because it's another thing we feel obligated to."

"We can do that." I said quietly.

"I still will be there for you if you need me you know that right? Friends or not. If you need something call me."

"Dean.. what if one of us wants to fix the friendship because we want to and the other only wanted to because they felt obligated to?"

"We'll cross that bridge if we come to it. I just think we need to stop trying to force this friendship. We've all seen how well that works. Just let it all be natural like when we first became friends. If we're supposed to be friends it'll work out."

"You're right. I know. We'll do what you said."

"You'll miss me." he winked trying to lighten up the mood with a joke before getting up and walking inside.

You'll always miss a best friend I thought. I felt sad. Dean and I haven't been good friends for a while now but the thought of him not being a friend at all hurt. I've known him longer than anyone. I met him when I was barely a teenager. 13 I met him. But I knew what we talked about was right. We needed to see if we wanted to be friends or felt obligated and I think he had the right idea to figure it out. It just sucked. I was so scared I was going to want to fix it and he wasn't. Any time someone got to experience life without me it was so much better and I'm terrified that I'm going to want to fix something that he will have no interest in fixing. Time will tell I guess.