WARNING: There is a Rox flash back that is dark and not suitable for everyone. That part is written like this. Warning so if you don't want to read that part. I don't know how I feel about this chapter so review please:)
"Rox are you okay?" Roman asked standing up and walking up to me as soon as I walked in the door.
"I'm fine.." I answered wrapping my arms around his waist and laying my head on his chest.
"That detective guy said she might have PTSD." Dean spoke up.
"I don't have PTSD!" I said.
"Babe calm down. It's okay and understandable if you do." Roman said running his hands up and down my back.
"I don't! I'm just tired. I haven't slept and it's messing with my mind okay?" I said pulling back from Roman.
"Go take a nap then okay?" Dean said. I nodded my head and walked up the stairs to the bedroom.
*Deans POV*
"What happened?" Roman asked me after I got something to drink and came back to the living room.
"I walked up and she was like having a break down or some shit. Cop said I should get her checked for PTSD. We were talking, she seemed fine then I answered a phone call and she started screaming and freaking out. I tried to grab her but she started trying to kick and hit me."
"Wow um..maybe we should get her checked." Seth said scratching his head.
"I think so. It's like she wasn't there if that makes sense. Like she was somewhere else." I said drinking my water.
"Maybe it really was she's just tired and her mind was playing tricks on her." Roman said.
"We've all been tired before but we haven't been like that. It wasn't normal Roman."
"We all didn't kill anyone out of self defense then not get sleep."
"Exactly. Don't you think she needs help dealing with killing him? Do you really think she ever dealt with him raping her or getting her on drugs? I don't think this is something like not getting enough sleep. Rox needs help." I said.
*Roxs POV*
I was walking down the street alone. It was dark outside and I saw some drug dealers and prostitutes walking the streets. I hated it here. I just wanted to leave. I just got off work and was walking home texting Dean. He kept bringing up if I was in trouble to go to him. I wanted to do this on my own though. Dean did everything for me and I wanted to be able to say I made it on my own and if I had to deal with shitty circumstances for now I would.
I walked up to the door ready to get my keys out to unlock it but I saw it was cracked open. That meant deals were being made. The drugs were being sold. The girls were being sold and people I didn't know were going to be in there hooking up and shooting up. I regret ever letting this happen. Ever letting it get this far. It happened without me ever realizing how bad it got. Now we were stuck.
I walked in the house and told myself to stay calm and ignore everyone.I walked to the kitchen and saw soda and pizza everywhere.
"Hey girl get yourself from food and drink!" some guy I had no idea who he was said, stumbling over to me with a beer in his hand and slinging his arm over my shoulder. "We got pepperoni, we got cheese we got anything you could want." he grabbed a paper plate and cup and handed them to me. I was hungry so I got two slices of pizza and some cherry coke. I was walking back to my room when I saw a baggie on the table and froze. My urge becoming incredibly strong. I wanted it so bad. I saw the needles all on the table and was tempted to grab one but I couldn't. I couldn't let this happen to me.
"Do you want one girl? I can sell you some?" A guy sitting at the table said to me. I smiled and shook my head and sped to my room.
I sat on the bed turned on the TV and started watching one of those scary movies, movie. 20 minutes later I finished my food and drink and decided to shower before going to bed to try to ignore what was going on. I grabbed a towel and some clothes and headed to the bathroom.
I walked out of the bathroom half an hour later in gray sweats and a white tank top. I climbed into bed and turned up the volume on my TV to try to drown out what was going on beyond my door. I got comfortably and my eyes felt heavy and started drifting closed.
Suddenly my bedroom door opened and I knew who it was. I wrapped my comforter around me tighter hoping nothing would happen.
Aaron walked in with a cocky grin on his face. I saw alcohol in one hand and drugs in the other.
"Hello Roxxxxy." he said drawing out my name.
I said nothing and just kept looking at the screen. He walked over to my bed and put the bottle and drugs on the bed side table and sat down next to me. He started running his hand through my hair and I tried to ignore it. Staring at my TV but not really watching it.
"I brought you something. It's your fave." He said holding up a bottle. I still ignored him and stared at my tv. "I brought these too. I thought we could have a fun time." he said holding up the drugs, pills, needles, anything a druggie could possibly want he had. I still ignored him and he became very frustrated. He pushed my shoulder so I rolled onto my back then slapped me across the face.
"You're going to ignore me? Huh? That's what you're going to do?!" he shouted slapping my face a couple more times. I wanted to tell him off but I wasn't stupid. I've seen people "disappear" because of him before. I had to do what I had to do to survive..
"No...I just had a long day at work and I'm tired. I'm sorry."
"I told you to work for me. A lot of guys out here will pay for this." he said pulling the blanket off me and running his down my body. I tried to remain calm and unaffected but I wanted to scream and punch and run. But I wanted to live more.
"Not my scene." I said.
"Why? You think you're better than them? You think you're too good to be paid for sex? You think you're too good to make money for me? Then you wouldn't need my help. You're no better than these girls." he said
"I didn't mean it like that." I said quietly though i kind of did. I was too good, had too much self respect to sell my body but was I going to tell a pimp that? Hell no.
"I can make you where you're not this tired from work. Where you can have a good time at work." he said slowly crawling on top of me.
He pushed my hair to the side and started kissing my neck. I figured fighting him would only result in more slaps and eventually he would stop and I could go to sleep so I just laid there.
Suddenly I felt his hand groping my boobs. I just laid there praying for it to be over soon. He ran his hands down my sides then back up into my tank top. Rubbing his hand over my breasts through my bra. I didn't want this.
"Stop." I said quietly but all he did was bite my neck.
"Stop!" I said louder and firmer. He pulled back and sat up on me.
"What did you say?" he asked his eyes getting darker and his face going into a poker face.
"I said stop. I don't want this." I said.
"Oh..." He said then looked at my bedroom door, "I don't care." he said as he put his weight on top of me again biting at my neck.
"Aaron..no please...stop." i begged. He let out this sinister laugh and pulled back a little ripping off my tank top and looking down at me.
"I'm begging you...stop." I said tears in my eyes.
"Begging is such a turn on." he said ripping my bra off and attaching his mouth to my nipples while his hand played with the other one. Alternating between the two.
I started crying and kicking my legs to get him off of me. He back handed me in the face. "You don't tell me no." he said sternly and moved down the bed to my legs.
I had my legs closed as tightly as I could but it didn't matter. He grabbed my legs at the ankles and pried them apart and pulled my sweat pants down.
"I always liked your legs." he said. he started placing kisses up my leg and when he got to my knee I raised it fast and hit him in the face. I heard him growl and he stood up he walked to the top of the bed and punched me repeatedly in the face til I felt blood pouring out of my nose. He took off his belt and whipped me across the legs and stomach.
"Don't you ever try to hurt me again bitch." he said.
He sat back down at the end of the bed and started rubbing his hands over the marks his belt left on my legs. "Look what you made me do." he said before opening my legs again. He grabbed my thong and moved it to the side and put his head up to my center. He started licking me and I put my hands on top of his head trying to push him away but it only encouraged him.
He started biting me. Hard. He was eating me out in an extremely painful way and I hoped somehow Dean would know what was going on and bust through the door saving me. But I know he wouldn't. I told him I was fine, not to worry. And now look.
"You crying is ruining the mood. Shut up." he said pulling away and slapping my lips extremely hard making me shut my legs tightly.
"Did I say you can close? You're open right now." he said. I didn't move my legs and he picked up his belt again. I tried to sit up and push my self to the top of the bed but he grabbed my foot and pulled me down and threw me on the floor. I was on my knees and he slapped across the face with his belt and I screamed out in pain.
It didn't matter. No one would help me. I wasn't stupid I knew that.
He pulled down his pants and boxers and grabbed his dick. He started stroking himself with one hand and reached down and grabbed my hair with the other.
"Suck." he said and slapped my lips with his dick.
"I don't know how.." i said timidly.
"What the fuck do you mean you don't know how?" he said getting angry.
"I've never done it before." I said.
"It's not fucking rocket science. Now suck." He said.
I did as he told me but not good enough because he pulled me off of him and shoved me into a wall. "I'm going to teach you how to be a good slut." He said while walking up and putting his hand onto my throat and squeezing. I started gasping for air and feeling light headed before he finally let go. I fell to the ground coughing and breathing hard. He grabbed me around my wasit, picked me up and threw me on the bed. I felt his weight on my back then felt him push himself into me. I started crying out in pain. He didn't wait for me to adjust or anything he just started thrusting in me. He soon sped up and started slapping my ass calling me a good little slut.
He let out this moan and collapsed onto of me. Now that he was done I was waiting for him to get up and leave. He slowly rolled off of me and out of me while I grabbed the blanket pulling it over me and shaking.
"That wasn't so bad now was it?" he smirked getting up and walking to the other side of the bed where he left his bottle and drugs. I was shaking and crying and he looked at me annoyed.
"Are you done yet?" he asked. I just laid there shaking. He grabbed a needle from the bed side and did something to it. Next thing I knew he was grabbing my right arm out from under the covers and tying something onto it.
"What are you doing?" I whimpered.
"Gonna make you feel good." he said. He plunged the needle into my arm.
I woke up and sat straight up in bed breathing hard.
"Nice to know you still dream about me." I heard. I turned to the side and saw Aaron sitting on the bed leaning against the head board.
"Leave me alone!" I said getting up. I stared at him while walking backwards towards the door. I bumped into something and turned around seeing Jason standing there.
"See I never did that to you. Yet you still didn't love me. Why is that?" he said walking towards me as I started backing up to the corner of the room away from the both.
"Why couldn't you love him Rox?" I heard a female voice say and I froze. "He killed me to protect you. Why couldn't you just love him? None of this would have happened. It's all your fault." Brittney stood and walked in front of me.
"I didn't do anything, it's not my fault" I argued.
"It's all your fault. Roman being a single parent. Dean losing his dream. Seth losing his best friends. Brittney dying. Jessica growing up without a mother. Jason being dead. Me being dead. It's all your fault. Death follows you. You're just a fuck up. You're fucking up everything Rox." Aaron said.
"No..no I'm not." I whispered looking at the ground.
"We're here to help you sweetie. You've done nothing but cause those 4 people pain. Is that really what you want?" Brittney asked putting a hand on my shoulder. I shook my head while still looking at the ground.
"Then do the right thing. Come with us." Jason said. I looked over at him and he was holding the gun I used to kill them with.
"They'll be hurt now but it's for the best." Aaron said walking up closer to me.
"Don't hurt my daughter anymore. End this now." Brittney said looking at me.
I looked around at all three of them. "You're dead..this isn't real. None of this is real. It's just a dream."
"It's not a dream. We're here." Jason said smirking.
"It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. " I repeated while wrapping my arms around me in a protective manner.
"It is real. Here come with us. I'll do the honors." Jason said I looked at him and saw him pointing the gun at me.
"NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!" I screamed falling to the ground pulling my knees to my chest and rocking back and forth.
*Romans' POV*
We were all trying to keep ourselves distracted from the recent events by watching Rush Hour 3 and relaxing. Suddenly we heard Rox yell "No. Leave me alone." Seth, Dean and I got up and ran up the stairs to my bed room.
I opened the door and saw Rox sitting in the corner hugging herself and rocking back and froth. I heard her sobs and went over kneeling next to her.
"Rox?" I said softly as I touched her arm. She jerked away from me and looked up at me scared.
"What happened Sweetie?" Seth asked as him and Dean walked over to us and sat down next to us.
"Um...I had a bad dream..." Rox said. I could tell she was lying and raised my eye brow at her.
"If it was that bad a dream why didn't you come get me? Why are you on the floor in the corner?" I asked.
"Thanks for believing me." she scoffed wiping at her eyes.
"Thanks for lying to me." I said back, she looked at the ground. "Baby we want to help you but you need to let us in to be able to okay?"
"It was Brittney, Jason and Aaron.." she said quietly.
"What about them?" Dean asked.
"They were here."
"They're dead Rox. They couldn't have been here." Dean said.
"But they were!" she said loudly looking up at us scared.
"That's impossible baby. Maybe we should listen to Burch and get you checked out."
"I don't need to get checked out."
"You're seeing dead people Rox. I think you need to get checked out." Dean said.
I saw Seth glare at him then look back at Rox.
"You should get checked out. What you went through was traumatic and you should get checked out." I said, putting my hand on her knee.
"I don't need to be checked out! How many times do I have to say it?!" She shouted.
"You're not okay Rox." I said in a softer tone.
"I'm fine. Just leave me alone." she said getting up and storming out of the bed room.
*Seth's POV*
We followed Rox out of the room and saw she went on the back porch so we decided to give her some space.
"She looked terrified." Roman said running a hand over his face.
"You would be too, if you saw a ghost." I said.
"Ghosts don't exist. She's seeing things. She needs help." Roman said sighing.
"She does and you know it Rollins." Dean said looking at me.
"Let me go talk to her okay?" I said. Roman and Dean nodded and I headed outside.
"How are you hun?" I said sitting on the porch swing with her.
"I'm fine!" she said irritated.
"I just want to make sure." I said.
We sat there quietly and she let out a big breath.
"I'm not crazy.." she mumbled.
"No one thinks you're crazy Rox."
"You all do. Detective Burch does. But i'm not. I'm not crazy."
"None of us think that Rox." I said putting my hand on her knee and squeezing it.
"You all want me to get help but I don't need it. I'm fine."
"Then why are you seeing them?" I asked carefully.
"They're haunting me." she said.
"Why?"
"Because I ended their lives. Brittney inadvertently but still."
"You did it to save yourself and Roman. It's okay."
"They won't leave me alone."
"How many times have you seen them?" I asked looking at her concerned.
"Twice. At the park and now. They blame me. They told me to join them so I wouldn't hurt you guys anymore."
"What?! Rox..please tell me you didn't think of...of killing yourself." I said turning my body more towards her.
"I didn't..i told them to leave me alone."
"Promise me you won't hurt yourself."
"I won't. No matter how much they want me to okay?" she said looking at me.
I stayed quiet for a moment."Rox..doctors can help." She just looked at me so I continued. "They can give you medicine or therapy or something to make it where you don't see them anymore."
"I AM NOT CRAZY!" She yelled getting up and standing up.
"I didn't say you were." I defended.
"You want them to put me on pills! I don't need them! You think I'm crazy and need to be medicated." she said.
"I want you to be okay!"
"I am okay!"
"You're clearly not though!" I ran a hand through my hair and took a deep breath. "Rox, you know I care for you deeply and I just want to be able to help you."
"Then...just be there for me. Stop trying to get me to get help. I don't need help." she said.
I reluctantly nodded my head.
"I'm going to go figure out what they want for dinner." I mumbled getting up and walking back into the house.
I told Dean and Roman everything Rox told me. Roman wanted to be alone with Rox so Dean and I went to go pick up some food from BWW.
"Do you think she's going to be okay?" Dean asked me while we looked at the menu to decide what to order for each of us.
"I don't know Dean. She needs help but doesn't want it." I said.
"Do you..do you think she'll..you know?" I looked up and saw Dean's face full of worry.
"We won't let her Dean."
"We're not with her 24/7 Seth. What if these damn images make her actually do it. How is Aaron still fucking with her from beyond the damn grave!" he said slamming his fist down on the order table in front of us making the worker jump and quickly leave to the back.
"Dean it'll be okay. We'll figure out someway to make her see the doctor okay?"
"It's going to take forever." Dean said looking exhausted.
"We'll figure it out okay? We'll help her."
*Rox's POV*
I walked back inside and saw Roman sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.
"Where are the guys?" I asked walking up and sitting next to him. He looked up at me and he looked scared.
"They went to go get some dinner."
I nodded my head then looked at the TV. I felt him watching me so I turned on the couch to fully face him. "I'm okay Roman." He just stared at me, looking skeptical. "I promise."
"You shouldn't be seeing them."
"Roman, it's okay. It was just because of my dream. It's all okay. It was just a coincidence okay?" I said trying to sound convincing. "They're gone. I know that. I know I cant see them. It was a dream okay?" I didn't know if I was trying to convince him or me.
I looked over his shoulder and saw Aaron standing there shaking his head. "Lying to your Roman? That won't make it last." he scolded me.
I looked at Roman's face who looked confused.
"Did you hear me?" He asked looking behind him then back to me.
"Sorry I zoned. What did you say?"
"That none of us think you're crazy. We're just concerned is all."
"I'm not seeing a doctor. I don't need one."
"Okay." he agreed but I knew that wasn't the end of it.
"Can you just hold me please?" I asked.
"Of course babe." he said opening his arms. I closed the distance between us and went into his arms. He leaned back and laid on the couch while I laid on top of him. I closed my eyes and when I reopened them I saw Brittney in the corner of the room staring at us.
I moved my head so I can put my face, face down into his chest. I wasn't going to see a doctor so if I had to hide the fact I was seeing them I would. I wasn't crazy and I didn't need help.