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"How you holding up lately?" Asked Dean as he met his brother for lunch. It had been a while since Roman and Dean hung out and it was long overdue.
"We're doing a lot better." Said Roman. "We still have our moments, but we're getting there. It's just been really difficult. When Katrina has her moments, she can get really depressed and she puts up these walls and it becomes difficult to get to her."
Dean nodded as he began to eat his burger after eating a few of his fries that he poured ketchup all over. "It's hard on both of you with the loss, but it may be harder for her. Everybody deals with things differently, even if it's in a similar way there's going to be something different in the way that it's handled. It's been over a month now, but that doesn't mean that it's forgotten about."
"I know." Roman replied softly. "With training for the upcoming football season in full swing, it's helping me keep my mind off of the miscarriage. But not a day goes by where I don't think about what could have been, had we not lost the baby. A part of me blames myself because I've been wanting a child of my own for so long. I don't want to risk something like that again."
"Do you still want to be a father?" Asked Dean in a serious tone.
Roman nodded wtihout hesitation. "Absolutely. I'm just so scared because we didn't know that she was pregnant the last time. You hear these stories of women who experience these symptoms when they're pregnant, and Katrina didn't experience anything. I don't know if it was because she was still early in the pregnancy or what, but she had nothing. I don't want us to go as long as we did or even longer without knowing that she's pregnant and we suffer another miscarriage. That terrifies me."
Dean looked at his best friend and saw the fear and pain that Roman had mentioned when talking about the loss. It had taken an emotional toll on Roman and Dean could tell that it had. His grey eyes that were always so strong and filled with happiness were now filled with sadness. Roman had lost a lot of sleep as did Katrina as the loss of a baby took it's toll as it ran it's course on them. Dean was starting to wonder if it was beginning to put a strain on their marriage because of the increase in fights between them.
"It's hard because there's this mentality that her and I have where we wonder why we have to use condoms when we're married." Added Roman. "So we don't use anything when we're intimate and if she's not taking her birth control, which she's not because we both decided to not use any methods of birth control once we got married...there's so much that it causes to run through my mind."
"Like if it's ever going to happen, being a father?" Dean asked quietly.
Roman's eyes became wet with tears at the thought of not being able to have kids of his own. It would devastate Roman, but he quickly shook the thought out of his mind. "If that were to ever happen, not being able to have kids of our own, then Katrina and I will deal with when it happens. But for now, we're just trying to be positive."
He didn't want to think the worst but it was something that Roman thought about every now and then. Roman didn't want to share that thought with Katrina for fear that it would make her feel worse about the situation and for fear that she may think that the only way to fix it is by getting pregnant.
"You should talk to Katrina." Said Dean, bringing him out of his thoughts.
"I don't want to start another fight." Roman replied.
Dean drank some of his soda. "The two of you need to find a way to get it out and without fighting. This whole keeping it in thing to not end up in an argument is going to make things worse. You and Katrina love each other to much to allow your marriage to end because of this. You two are stronger than that. Talk it out."
Roman knew that he was right. They couldn't keep doing this and it would ruin them if they continued to do so. He didn't want another relationship to go down in drains. Roman just wouldn't know what to do with himself if he were to ever lose Katrina. She's the love of his life and if anybody thought that Roman was devastated now over the miscarriage, he would be far worse if he lost his wife.
"Listen, man..." Stated Dean. "The big man puts us in situations that He knows we'll be able to handle."
Roman looked at him curiously, knowing that Dean was never the kind of guy to talk like that to anybody. "Okay, where's my brother and what have you done to him?"
His best friend smiled and looked down to hide the big grin that was now forming on his face. "Remember that girl I met right around the time that you and Katrina started talking?"
He nodded, remembering. "Renee?"
"Yeah." Dean replied. "We're dating now, for a while now."
Roman smiled and congratulated him. "It's about damn time. You've liked for forever it seems."
Dean chuckled softly and Roman was genuinly happy for him. He could see how happy this relationship with Renee was making him and he wished them the best of luck.
Meanwhile...
"Any updates on the baby thing?" Asked Emily as she went to lunch with Katrina and Anna.
Katrina shook her head. "We're not trying to have one right now, but we're not doing anything to prevent it from happening either."
"So you're not on birth control anymore?" Asked Anna.
"I stopped taking it when we got married." She replied. "That and him not using condoms are things that him and I have decided on together."
They went to Sephora and Katrina went to go look at some perfumes while Anna and Emily went to go look at some makeup. When they all met back in the middle of the store, Katrina and Anna stayed closed by together.
"Are you physically able to have another child though right now if you wanted to?" Asked Emily.
Katrina thought for a bit before responding. "We can start trying again if we'd like. My doctor told me that I have to wait at least one cycle before trying again. It's been almost two months but that's something that Roman and I would have to discuss."
Katrina made a face and breathed in and out deeply when the aroma of food came around. The smell would have just made her mouth water with how good it smelled, but today it just made her more sick than what she already was.
"You okay?" Asked Anna.
Katrina nodded. "I think it's just have that stomach virus that's going around. I feel so nauseus today and that smell just makes me want to throw up again."
"And some sleep." Said Emily. "You look really tired."
"I know." Katrina replied softly. She hasn't told anybody about that problems that are arising between her and Roman. Ever since the miscarriage, they've been fighting a lot more and haven't been getting much sleep. She had also been extra emotional lately and she wasn't sure why. There were times when her emotions were so out of whack, that she felt like crying for no reason. At times it was simply because she didn't want to be away from Roman which had never happened before. She wanted him right by her side no matter what because she didn't want him out of her sight. She felt a bit more sensitive than usual and she wanted to get a hold of herself. Katrina wanted to be able to take care of what was going on with Roman on her own without the input of anybody else.
After getting home, Katrina was just ready to lay down in bed and take a much needed nap. When Roman got home, he saw his wife sleeping and smiled as he watched. The way strands of her hair slightly fell in her face as she slowly breathed in and out, the peacaefulness that washed over her as she slept. Roman just loved to watch the scene that was in front of him.
Taking a quick shower, he quickly got dressed and began making dinner. With her being sick and not being able to keep much down lately, he knew exactly what to make for her. When dinner was ready, he walked into the room and gently laying down next to her in bed facing her, Katrina must have felt it and knew that it was him because she snuggled closer to Roman. An arm circled around Katrina's waist and kept her there, close to him. Roman placed soft kisses on her cheek and on her head before she began to stir. Nuzzling his chest, she woke up and rubbed her eyes before blinking a few times at him.
"You're home." Katrina said softly with a smile and a sleepy voice.
Roman smiled before capturing her lips for a soft kiss. After talking for a few minutes, they laid in bed together and they both felt comfort in each other's arms. "I made you dinner."
"It smells really good." She replied. "Is that pasta?"
He nodded. "And with your favorite sauce and with chicken. I thought that with you being a bit sick and that being the one of the very few things that you can still eat withotu getting more sick, I'd make you some."
She smiled and pecked his lips. "I love you."
"I love you, too beautiful." Roman replied with a peck of his own.
Roman helped her up and held her hand as they walked to the kitchen. Katrina took in the aroma of the food and actually didn't feel like running back up to the bathroom for once. He held the seat out for her and helped her sit down as she looked at the food that was in front of her. Her mouth watered and her stomach growled from not eating much today.
"I'm sorry for how I've been acting lately." Said Roman while they ate. "Things have just been so crazy since it all happened and I don't know what other way to deal with it."
Katrina stayed quiet for a moment as she ate her food. "I'm sorry, too. I think that it's been extremely difficult on both of us. I've always thought that losing my mom was bad enough, but losing our baby...it was more than I could bare. We didn't even get to enjoy being pregnant or bring it into this world."
She started to tear up and Roman wasn't to far behind on that. Katrina had never seen him cry, but she has definitely heard the sounds of crying coming from Roman whenever he would lock himself in the bathroom.
"A part of me think it's my fault because of how bad I want to be a father." Roman admitted softly. Tears began to stream down his face as he sniffled. He cleared his throat, but he just couldn't seem to stop the tears from falling. "I don't want you to resent me, Katrina or to even hate me."
"Roman, it's not your fault." Said Katrina as she leaned over and cupped his face in her hands. "I feel like it's mine for not being careful with myself, regardless of whether I was pregnant or not."
She kissed his cheek and he leaned into her lips. "It's nobody's fault. I don't wish something like that upon anybody though. It doesn't matter how I feel about them, even if it's my enemy. Nobody deserves to feel that kind of pain."
Katrina looked at her husband and bit her lip. "I want us to be okay again like we were before it happened. I like those little moments since then because it's a lot sweeter and it means a lot more now."
Roman leaned over and kissed Katrina softly. "That's my promise to you that we'll make it through this."
She smiled up at him. "Can you show me again?"
He chuckled softly and pressesd his lips against her for another soft kiss. Their kiss deepened and Roman got Katrina to sit on his lap before she pulled away. "We won't be able to stop if we keep on."
Roman looked up into her eyes. "Who said I wanted to stop?"
Katrina looked into her husband's grey eyes and melted. She knew the look in his eyes and he wanted her. They were cloudy with lust and desire and it drove her crazy, in a good way. Leaning down slightly, they shared a few more kisses before leaving everything the way it was in the kitchen.
He carried her into the living room and laid her down on the couch. His shirt came over his head, exposing the chest down. Roman's perfectly chiseled body would make any female around here look twice at him. Katrina found herself back on his lap when he sat down and their lips were back together.
She moaned softly and quietly feeling his hands going up underneath her shirt. Roman's skin moved underneath her hands as it roamed around before he took off her shirt and tossed it aside. His lips made their way down her neck to her breasts, which were being held together by her black laced bra. Roman's fingers unhooked them and watched as they slid down her arms and made their way to the floor.
Katrina felt pleasure rising against her and heard a low groan from Roman when she pressed against it. Undoing his belt, their lips met once again while Roman's hands became busy once again, when they began to palm her breasts even when her nipples hardened against them. She arched her back and moaned against his lips as her hands made their way into his jeans. Roman growled in her ear as her hands made him more erect than what he already was. It continued like that until he laid her on her back again to get her out of her jeans.
Roman slightly nipped at her thighs, making Katrina whimper with anticipation. Deciding to leave that for later on in the night when his erection started to become painfully unbearable, he got out of his pants and got her back into his lap. He groaned when he felt Katrina's channel take him in, feeling like heaven when it did.
As her hips moved up and down, he carefully watched held on to her waist. Her sweet moans filled the living room along with his groans and grunts when he began to thrust into her everytime she moved down. One of Roman's hands began to palm her breasts again while the other continued to hold on to her waist.
Katrina found pleasure with Roman being buried deep inside of her and held on to him tightly, digging her nails into his shoulders. Heat began to rise between them and Roman knew that she was close. He began to thumb her clit and saw as Katrina leaned her head back and her hips lose a bit of control.
"You're close, baby?" He asked with a husky voice. Not even a minute later, she was coating his member with her warm release. A few thrusts later and Roman was riding out his wave of climax as he came deep inside of her. She collapsed on top of him as she tried to catch her breath. Roman dug his face in her neck and did the same. His warm breath tickling her hot skin as he held her tightly. "We're not done yet, by the way."
She smiled knowing what it meant and knowing that they would be up for pretty much the entire night. Katrina didn't mind though, and she never did.
A/N: Dean has a new girlfriend and he's seeing his relationship blossom while seeing his best friend and brother being torn apart by a tragedy. As Roman and Katrina try to begin to make things right between them again after weeks of fighting, will a blessing finally come their way? Do you think that Katrina will ever be able to bear children?