Only Hope Chapter 13, a twilight fanfic

A/N: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer

Thanks to all my reviewers, readers, and beta. I just wanted you all to know that I posted a link to my LiveJournal on my profile page. I'm going to try and post between chapters so you all will know when to expect an update. I hope you all enjoy the chapter!!

Warning: There is a little bit of adult content… =)

Chapter 13

EPOV

"What did you just say?" I asked.

There was no way I could have heard her correctly. Was there? I mean, Bella liking me. Impossible.

"About me talking to Lauren online the other day?" She asked a little confused. Apparently she must not have been expecting me to respond to anything she was saying. "About a YouTube video of Heidi and Spencer?"

Who the fuck are Heidi and Spencer?

And that is not what she just said!

"No!" I began shaking my head a little frustrated and completely lost as to what she was talking about. "After that!"

She sat in silence staring at me.

"Oh!" She gasped a minute later as realization washed over her face. "About Bella liking you?"

I fell back against my seat. I did hear her correctly. But she can't be serious.

I shook my head yes while motioning her to continue. She just stared at me without saying anything.

Fuck!

She wouldn't shut up when I wanted her to and when I actually want her to talk she doesn't. But I need to know why she thinks that. "Why do you think Bella likes me?"

She burst into laughter.

Did she say it as a joke?

After a few minutes later her laughing ceased. "You can't be serious?" She asked while a duh expression appeared across her face.

Obviously there is something she knows and I don't.

I didn't want to play a guessing game with her though. "Just tell me." I need to know now.

"Isn't it obvious?" Her expression hadn't changed.

No.

Nothing seemed obvious. And there was no way Bella could like me. "No. Did she say something?"

"Well no…" Jessica started. "…but she doesn't need to. Everyone knows she does."

No, everyone doesn't know. "No."

She started to laugh again. "Eddie…" She paused for a second looking at me and I wanted to slap her in the face for calling me that again. "…don't you notice how she is always like staring at you?"

No.

"No." I responded.

Bella doesn't stare at me. Only you do.

She rolled her eyes at me. "Well she does and it's just not…normal."

A huff escaped my lips. "Normal?" What the hell is she talking about?

She continued. "And the way she always wants to be around you."

We're friends. Not to mention the fact I have to drive her to and from school every day so of course we are around each other a lot.

"We're friends." I explained still not convinced she was telling me the truth.

Jessica seemed to be annoyed at me now. "What about how she is always talking about how…" She paused again. Spit it out! "…how you smell good."

What the…

"I mean, like who does that?" She crossed her arms and I could swear she was hiding something from me.

Bella can't possibly think I smell good. Could she?

"I don't know." I answered. There was nothing else I could really say. And honestly I didn't believe a thing she was saying.

Just then the waitress came with our food. I started to eat mine without saying another word to Jessica. But I couldn't help noticing Jessica still staring at me. The same way she said Bella stares at me. Maybe she was confusing Bella for herself. "What?"

"You don't like Bella do you?" She timidly asked while looking down at her plate.

I smirked. It seemed as though she must have started to regret telling me about Bella in the first place. I wanted to tell her it doesn't matter either way because this was the first and last time we'd ever go out together. "Bella and I are just friends."

A smile appeared across her face. "Good."

She began talking again about nothing important while I ate my food pretending to listen when really I wasn't. Once we were both done I drove her back to her house. This time I got out of my car once I was parked in her driveway and walked her to the door. But only because it was the polite thing to do. I said goodnight. I think she was expecting a kiss or something but there was no way I was about to do that so I backed up a little bit. Once she got the hint she said goodnight back and walked into her house. Then I got into the Volvo and sped home.

---

When I got into my house I noticed no one was home yet. My mom was probably still with Renee while my dad was still at the hospital. I didn't lose anytime making my way up the stairs to my bedroom. I don't know why, but once I got into my bedroom I walked into the connecting bathroom and washed my face. When I was done I looked in the mirror.

There's no way Bella can like me.

I repeated it a few times to myself in the mirror.

It sounds right, doesn't it?

I looked in the mirror once more at my reflection but then something else caught my attention. On the sink next to my toothbrush and shaver was my cologne. The same stuff I use every morning, well at least the mornings I give myself enough time to fully get ready. I grabbed the bottle and opened it. I rolled my eyes at myself because I was about to do something really stupid. I quickly brought the bottle up to my nose and smelled it. It smelled like…cologne. Nothing special. Just cologne. I ran my other hand through my hair.

There's no way Bella can like me.

I put down the cologne and walked over to my shower and grabbed my shampoo bottle. I opened it and quickly smelled it. It smelled like shampoo. Again, nothing special.

There's no way Bella can like me.

I put down the shampoo bottle and walked over to my mirror once more. I stared at myself for a few minutes trying to imagine the way Jessica stares at me. Stupid, I know. Then I changed the image in my mind to how Bella looks at me which is completely different then the way Jessica does. I mean, Jessica stares and it's so obvious but Bella doesn't do that. She usually looks down when I make eye contact with her like she's nervous that she's just been caught doing something she shouldn't… holy shit… and she blushes. Always.

Bella Swan likes me.

No.

I shook my head

Bella Swan might like me.

No.

I shook my head again.

Why am I being so stupid?!

Maybe I just make her nervous, right?

I can't just assume she likes me.

We're friends.

I quickly walked over to my bed, laid down and threw the covers over my head. The whole thought of Bella liking me made me tired. Or maybe it was the awful date with Jessica. Either way I needed to get some sleep and clear my mind so tomorrow I could think straight. I slowly drifted to sleep…

---

Bella…

Her eyes closed involuntarily but I kept mine open. When her lips finally met mine I moaned. They were so soft. She was so soft. She gave me passionate little kisses for a few minutes before her mouth parted slightly. I took advantage of the opportunity and darted my tongue out to her mouth. Once my tongue reached her mouth I slowly traced the edges of her lips. She tasted so good and it made me want more of her. I think she felt the same way because all of the sudden she opened her eyes and smiled before crushing her lips against mine again but this time her tongue met mine. And it was just as soft and warm as the rest of her. I led her tongue into my mouth as I massaged it gently with mine. This time she was the one that moaned and hearing her little moan made my whole body shiver.

"Bella…" I managed to moan into her mouth as I pressed my body harder against hers. She grabbed a fistful of my hair with her hand and pulled me closer. It hurt a little, but nothing I couldn't handle. She wanted to feel more of me. All of me. I slammed my body against her again.

Shit. I should have gotten an SUV, the backseats are bigger.

She released her grip on my hair and slowly pushed me off her. I looked at her puzzled. I thought she wanted this. Before I could ask what that was about she smiled while placing her little hands around my neck and pulling me in again. Apparently she wasn't done yet and neither was I.

My hands ran up and down her body until they were at her face again. I put my hands behind her head and pushed her face closer to mine. I continued kissing her until I could tell we both needed to catch our breath. She disapprovingly moaned a little as I pulled my lips away from hers and I let out a chuckle. She then released her arms from around my neck buried them between us. I looked at her a little curiously wondering what she was doing. She gave me a seductive smile and I quirked an eyebrow at her. She smiled again and then I could feel what she was doing. Her hands found my belt buckle and she gently tugged at it. I moaned again knowing she was so close to where I wanted to feel her hands. Then I titled my head against hers so our foreheads were touching as I thrust myself against her hands. I think she took that as an approval because she slowly reached one of her hands into my jeans. I moaned. "Bella…"

---

BEEP...BEEP...BEEP

Shit!

I almost jumped out of bed. I ran my fingers through my hair as I looked at the alarm clock. 6:30. I quickly turned off the alarm.

Fuck, I had been dreaming about…

Fuck!

I slowly lifted up the covers and inspected myself.

Bella! Fuck!

I moaned.

Bella…

No. No. No. We're just friends. No.

I jumped out of bed and partially ran to the bathroom. I immediately turned on the shower and jumped in trying not to think of Bella. Anything but Bella. Baseball. School. Biology. Bella. Fuck. I involuntarily moaned. And I knew there was nothing I could do at the moment expect fix my…um…problem. So I gave in and finished where my dream left off before my alarm clock had rudely woken me up.

When I was done with my shower I dried off and looked in the mirror. This can't be happening to me. I can't believe I just… thought about Bella like that.

Fuck.

What the hell am I going to do when I see her?

We're friends. Just friends. We have to be. I need her to be my friend. Only my friend.

Fuck.

I don't know how long I stood there staring at myself in the mirror but the next thing I knew my dad was yelling at me from downstairs saying I was going to be late. I ran into my room and threw on some clothes. When I got downstairs I quickly made my way to the door but froze as my hand reached for the knob. I turned around slowly. I could see my dad sitting in the kitchen. An idea popped in my head and I walked over to him.

"Dad?" I asked to get his attention. He looked up from the newspaper at me. "Can I use some of your cologne?"

He gave me a weird look but I don't blame him, it was a strange thing to ask and I'd never done it before. "Sure. There's some in my medicine cabinet in the bathroom."

"Thanks." I responded as I rushed to the bathroom. When I found the bottle I opened it and smelled it. It definitely smelled different then my stuff. Kind of gross. Oh well. I put some on anyway.

Then I ran out of the house and made my way to the Volvo. When I reached it my eyes immediately went to the backseat while my mind trailed to the dream I had.

Fuck.

I moaned.

There was no way I could let Bella sit in the backseat today. Seeing her there would not be good. At all. I opened the trunk to see what I could put in the back to block her from going there. I had a few books and the blankets Rose and I used for the football game. Shit. I really didn't want to put the blankets back there, but what choice did I have? I grabbed everything in my trunk and spread it all over the backseat.

I slowly drove to Bella's house with my hand on my cell phone trying to come up with every excuse I could in order to get out of driving her today. But of course there was none.

Once I reached her house I parked in the driveway. A minute later she walked out her front door. She was looking down like she always does. But this time I couldn't help but look at what she was wearing. She had on jeans like usual but she wasn't wearing a sweatshirt. Instead she had on a tight red long-sleeved shirt that was way too revealing in the front. I grinned to myself. Of course out of all the days Bella decided today to wear a shirt like that.

She walked over to the passenger side. I smirked to myself when she stopped at the back passenger door. She was frozen. I rolled down the front passenger window. "Front seat today."

She looked at me and frowned. But I couldn't feel bad for her. It was best this way. We have to only be friends. She slowly hopped into the front seat.

It was quiet for a minute before Bella broke the silence. "How was your date with Jessica?"

I had completely forgotten about the date I had with Jessica last night with everything that happened this morning. "It sucked. How can you be friends with her?"

She smiled. And it only fueled my mind that maybe she really does like me. "I usually just ignore her as best as I can."

I laughed. "I tried to last night but she still gave me a big headache."

Real big headache.

I wanted to ask her if she liked me real badly. But I restrained myself. I didn't want to embarrass myself if she didn't. And I'm pretty sure no matter what she would be embarrassed and I didn't want that either.

It was quiet again for a few minutes. Until Bella broke the silence. "Are you wearing something different?"

I looked at my clothes then back at her a little confused.

She laughed again. "You smell different."

Oh.

Oh! So she really does know what I smell like.

"Yeah." I responded. This was the whole reason for asking to use my dad's cologne. "Is it bad?"

She was looking at her hands and I'm pretty sure she thought it was. I know I did. "It's okay." She lied.

"But you like how I normally smell?" I was fishing for anything I could get at this point.

She blushed a little bit but shrugged without saying anything.

So what the fuck does that mean?

I wanted to press on with the questions but I couldn't. And not because I was worried about what I might ask or she might say. But because out of the corner of my eye I could see her lick her lips and it was enough fuel my head with my dream from last night. And a part of me wanted to pull off the side of the road and reenact it with her.

Oh my God, what am I think?!

This is Bella I kept telling myself. Bella. Your friend Bella.

Friend.

I swallowed hard and I was progressively becoming uncomfortable by the second.

Fuck. The school can't get here any faster.

"Are you okay?" She asked as I stopped at a stoplight. I turned to face her. She had a concerned look on her face. She must have seen the change in my attitude.

"Great." I lied while putting on a fake smile. She nodded in response.

Finally when we got to school I lied again to Bella telling her I had to meet up with a teacher. She seemed kind of disappointed but didn't press the issue. I walked straight to the boy's locker room because I knew it would be empty this time of the day.

I slumped on the bench. Everything was getting way out of hand and too fast. Yesterday I woke up Bella's friend and today I don't know what we are. I mean we are friends. But you don't think of a friend the way I did this morning. At least I never have before.

I punched the locker with my fist. And it fucking hurt.

"Bella and I can only be friends." I said out loud to myself before exiting the locker room.

And that's what we'll be. No matter what.

Only friends.