"Anything to drink? Soda? Beer? I keep my stash hidden away from the half-pints around here. Not that they don't end up finding it somehow anyway..."
"Water, please," Lowen requested meekly. A large bottle of water was handed to her from the beast of a man as Logan made himself comfortable on the stool, leaning on arm across the smooth marble counter, other hand gripping a skunky can of Molsons. Lowen could only sit stiffly on her own seat, ankles crossed, back straight, and eyes cast downward. This was the last place she could have ever imagined herself, and she felt ever more awkward accepting hospitality from a man she hardly knew.
"I-I really appreciate what you're doing..." she mumbled. The Wolverine snorted and took another swig of his personal poison.
"No need to thank me, really. I don't do the shopping around here." A weak smile crept into her expression, her body forcing itself to relax.
"I just... something very wrong has happened." She glanced up at her waiting companion, then down nervously once again at her own drink. "See, there's... a guy..."
"Did he hurt you?" came the immediate question.
"I DON'T KNOW!" she screeched suddenly, terrifying herself. That couldn't have come from her. The water bottle was now haphazardly strewn on the floor, water spilled everywhere. She looked up at Logan, horrified at her own outburst. He was off the stool, his body was tense, eyes showing caution. He slowly put his hands up, palms forward next to his face, his head ducked slightly. Lowen knew this position: an animal trying to show that it wasn't a threat.
"Kid, it's alright. I didn't-"
"Logan, something weird is happening to me. My powers are weird. I-I just learned to control them. This... guy... he-he showed me how. But, I hurt him... bad... and, and my powers are in my control, but I still feel... feel..." Lowen had no idea that anyone could stutter out a sentence so fast. She felt like a small child who had lost the only toy that could keep the monsters from creeping out of the closet. Her chin was now pressed firmly into her collarbone, her hands grappling through her greasy stands, fingers digging into her own skull, and her knees pressed to her forehead. She was destined to stay forever in the position she first started in.
Her chest expanded slowly and fell in the same manner as she willed herself to breathe.
"When I'm out of my element," she mumbled into her legs, "I become timid and weak. I get all terrified of everyday things. My powers didn't help things at all. I mean, my parents always wanted me to use my powers 'responsibly', whatever the hell that meant... I guess they wanted me to make a difference to other people. But, guess what? Surprise, surprise, not everyone wants to be helped, especially not by a mutant." At this point, she wasn't sure if she was talking to Wolverine more than she was just monologing to herself. "So. Off I went. With people I barely knew, with the only friend I trusted. Away from my family, and the people I loved..." She had to stop. She felt herself shaking in a mix of emotions she didn't want to confront.
"Your family is dead?" Wolverine flat-out asked. Lowen knew he wasn't one for subtlety. All she could do was weakly lift her head and look him in the eye with sad, bitter eyes. He sighed and ran his own hands through his already wild hair.
"Mind if I at least stay the night?" she asked feebly.
How could he say no?
xXxXxXxXx
"So."
"So?"
"What did Wolverine say?"
"I was just telling him about my life."
"You mean your former life?"
"I need to lie."
"Lying is bad. It's a sin."
"Oh, spare me. Okay, if you want to get technical, I didn't lie. So sue me. I just chose to avoid certain topic and not directly answer direct questions."
"Sooooo, no one doesn't know that your family is alive?"
"Look, I-"
"Or a younger brother?"
"Okay, let me-"
"Who goes to this school?"
"Shut up!" she came a furious, hissed reply. "Now listen to me! Don't you DARE judge me! Do you know why I left?"
"Yes."
"NO, you don't! You don't know a damn thing!"
"'Darn' thing," came the inevitable correction. She was now going to continue unnecessary swearing because she knew he hated it.
"This isn't really any of your business..." she started.
"But you're here, aren't you? You took the time to find out where I was. That means something."
Uncomfortable silence held thick in the air between the two of them.
"So, how's mom and dad?" Lowen asked in a more civil tone.
"Good, I guess. Annoying, kind of. Always worried about the camera store and cholesterol and that junk."
"Is dad in bad shape?"
There was a pause that seemed to linger longer than it needed to.
"He had to have a triple bypass surgery a few months ago. His heart was super weak, and he... well, he hasn't really been the same since. No trips to get coney dogs, no cheesecake, not even a trip to the museum. And... and he loves the museum..."
"Eli... I..."
"It's your fault." he finally muttered spitefully, looking up from his textbook to shoot her an accusing glare. "You and your stupid plan to 'save' our family. You left because you didn't know what to do with yourself."
"No one else knew what to do with me, either!" she was quick to justify.
"That's when you go and find out who you are! Make a name for yourself and do something with that name! Not be an idiot and run away like a stupid, scared little kid! It took mom forever to get back to her normal self. Hell, she's still not okay, yet!" Hearing the word "hell" from anyone else couldn't have made her bat an eye, but hearing it from her always good, always optimistic little brother made her flinch back. She was honestly at a loss for words. "You left everyone to 'protect' us? Don't make me laugh! You left because you're selfish! You always were, and you left with your precious powers, hoping to be "special" in a place where people would "get" you!" His voice was steadily rising as he stood. "YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL, OKAY? YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE A NAME TO CALL YOURSELF BY!" His voice echoed off the walls and slammed into her like waves. She wanted to scream back, defend herself and her actions, but... the more she thoughts, that's kind of all it came down to.
"Does anyone even know your real name?" he asked, softly this time.
Lowen's chin dug into the tops of her knees as her eyes glossed over.
"I... I don't remember my real name..." she whispered into the darkness of the room. Eli let out a long breath and sat back down very slowly. He was going to be 16 soon, that much Lowen remembered. In July, right? His face looked so worn, and his eyes looked so old for someone who claimed to be so young.
"No one remembers. Everyone called you 'Lowen' as if it was what they've been calling you since you were born."
"You remember then?" she asked with a sliver of hope in her worn out whisper. He shook his head.
"I don't. All I remember is that's not your name. I even asked Professor Xavier to scan my mind to find out about my family." Lowen felt her skin prickle nervously. "Before you ask, no, I didn't let on to the real reason I wanted him to tell me about the fam. I brought it up casually, spouting some nonsense about how I just wanted to see if he was really psychic, but it didn't matter. He named everyone else, but he still called you 'Lowen'. I can feel it... some gray area in my brain... your missing name."
"Maybe we're not meant to remember," she shrugged, her body still cold from the chill. Eli cocked a lop-sided smile her way.
"Yeah. Maybe. Maybe it's mutant thing. I still wish I could remember, though..."
"That and who did it, and why we can't remember."
"Maybe you did it?"
"I have no idea. I'm still searching for it, Eli."
"Yeah... maybe," was his vague reply. Lowen unwrapped the comforter from her body and lifted herself off the bed. She needed sleep, and that shower was sounding great. She willed her feet to drag across the carpet and lead the rest of her toward the door.
"Lowen..." Eli called out behind her. She turned and looked at him, but his eyes didn't meet hers.
"Do you remember the note you left? It was on your bed the night you left. It just said 'Angels Will Kill Me'. What does that even mean?"
"What?" There was a strange movement in the air now. Lowen narrowed her eyes and stared intently at her brother. Ever-earnest, he just gave her his usual blue-eyed stare as she turned to look around the room. Nothing moved save the dust floating through the moonbeams from the window. Lowen leaned in closer.
"Eli... I never wrote a note."
xXxXxXxXx
SO HEY. Azazel. Again. Soon. I promise.
It seems that I got some new followers! You guys/girls are just so wonderful. c:
Want another chapter faster? Longer? Hint: LEAVE REVIEWS!
Should I have some scenes with Azazel that are... "sexier"? What do you guys think? Anyhow, do me the favor or reviewing.
A part of me is going back over the story and thinking "Good lawd, I hate this so much..." but another part of me is trying hard to correct my too-fast pacing and weird character quirks in Lowen by giving better explanations. I hope I'm not letting you guys down too hard. Do you like the twists? Don't worry! All will come together! I hope you enjoyed meeting a part of Lowen's family. More to come! c: