For a moment she was caught off guard, lost in the obvious and not able to comprehend what he said. "I'm sorry?" Gabriella's eyes were wide as she looks at him trying to get a glimpse of something telling in his eyes. He wouldn't look at her, his eyes were staring at the fence between.
"About Alex," he said quietly.
Gabriella took a deep breath and placed a hand over her heart. With confirmation came an avalanche of regret, shock and relief. "Who told you?"
Troy looked up at her with pained expression, "Who else knows?" He couldn't stop his mind racing as he jumped on to his next question. "No one told me, did you really think I was that stupid?" he said a little louder. Now that he was looking at her he couldn't stop the out of control feeling to shake her. Taking two steps away from then fence for measure he looked away from her.
"You're not stupid," she said finally.
"Gabriella, she has my eyes, my hair, and my appetite and if that isn't enough her birthday is nine months after that one night," he said lifting a finger as he risked looking up at her again. Her eyes were wide, her features were paler, she looked tired and alert at the same time. His chest began to rapidly rise and fall with each deep breath. "I might not be a smart jock but I'm not an ignorant man."
"I didn't mean for you to find out like this I swear," she said holding her hands out in front of her, anything to try and clam the situation. She hadn't been prepared for this, she would never be prepared for this.
"Really," Troy said lifting his hand in frustration, "and how were you planning to tell me I've been an absent father for the last eight years?" His voice boom through the yard as he placed both hands on the fence unable to keep his distance from her.
"Troy please, keep your voice down she doesn't know?" Gabriella pleaded as she looked back into the kitchen and saw Alex talking to her mother. The last thing she needed was for Alex to find out like this, for her daughter to see him like this. They couldn't talk here, they couldn't have a screaming match in the backyard with their daughter only a few feet away. Turning back to Troy who was staring at her with such fury and confusion she came over to the fence so she could be heard. "I'm sorry, Troy, but I don't think now is a good time or place to have this discussion." she said turning around to walk away.
As she made her way back to the house the yard fell into an eerie quiet. She refused to look back, refused to give into her feelings to get down on her knees and beg him for forgiveness. In the silence she heard a thump and turned to see that Troy had jumped the fence and was now walking towards her with full steam.
"Like hell this conversation is over," Troy said coming to a stop only inches away from her, "You don't get to walk away from me."
"What's wrong Troy?" she said annoyed by his closeness, "Did you realize that getting lost in the moment cost a little bit more then you thought?" Her voice was a harsh whisper as she looked up into his flaring blue eyes.
In that instant he grabbed her arm in a firm grip and he led her to the front of the house. It took control not to shout, it took a lot of breathing not to use his strength against her. Alex was in kitchen and the last thing he wanted her to see was him loose his temper. They needed somewhere confined and private, somewhere they could talk openly and settle this.
"Let me go what do you think you are doing?" Gabriella whispered not trying to alarm anyone inside as she went along with him. They're steps were hurried as they made their way to the front of the house. She had no idea where they were going, no idea who mad he was, and no idea if he'd be mad enough to hurt her. For the first time since she ever know this man the fact that he was taller and stronger than her became a realistic fear.
When they got to his car he let her go and she contemplated running for the house but decided it was unnecessary in their 18 years of friendship he'd never physically hurt her. Troy might be a lot of things but he would never hurt her on purpose. Troy opened the door to his red Mercedes with nod he motioned for her to get in.
"Where are we going?"
"Get in the car," he said sternly.
Gabriella did as she was told and he watched her as she sat down in the front seat. Calmly he shut the door keeping his hands on it as he took a moment to breath. He had no idea what he was doing and everything from this moment forward was life changing. He had to handle this well, he had to control his temper and he had to convince her to let him be a part of their life. When he open his eyes he pushed away from the car and went around getting into the driver's seat.
"Listen," Gabriella started.
"No, you listen," Troy said shifting so he could face her and pointing a finger in her direction. "That night in the tree house was not about a bet and it was not just your virginity that was lost," he said sternly.
"What do you mean?"
"It was my first time too," he said placing hand on the steering wheel, "so don't for one second think that I took something from you because I needed a backup plan. That night meant as much to me as it did to you." When she didn't say anything he continued. "Despite what you heard I never brought you into that pack. When I came to school that day Susan had already told people that I did it with her and for some reason I'll never understand I just went along with it. But I have never told anyone about what happened between us. As far as everyone else was concerned we just went our separate ways that night and that's not because it was an accident or that it didn't matter. That night was just between us and it was so amazing and so fantastic that I didn't want anyone to take that away from us."
Both of them were silent as what he said lingered in the air. Gabriella looked away from him unable to contain what she was feeling. She had been his first and she didn't even notice. Looking back now it was obvious and she didn't know why she just assume that he'd many lovers before her and she was just another notch on the bed post. He thought it had been amazing.
A small smile pulled at her lips, she didn't know how she was supposed to feel. She didn't know what she was supposed to say. What would happen now? Did he still feel that way? Why did it matter if he did? Doug was waiting for her back at home, he was counting on her to be faithful. Doug wanted to marry her. Reaching for the ring she came up empty. She'd never put it back on after she took it off for the party. She hadn't even noticed till now. With a long sigh she looked back over at Troy, "Fine," she offered to break the silence, "what do you want me to say?" she asked crossing her arms.
"Tell me," he said in louder voice than he intended, taking a moment he recoiled and then let out a breath, "Tell me, that when you left you didn't know about Alex," he said quietly looking forward at the street before them. "Tell me, you didn't run off with her, in way to get back at me."
"I had no idea I was pregnant, when I left."
"Why didn't you tell me about her?"
"You and I were already so far apart," she said holding back a small sob, "I was at Stanford you were at U of A." Gabriella felt her inside collapsing on top of each other. She never expected for this conversation to happen like this. She didn't know what she expected but she never expected this. "I thought I was just a bet to you."
Troy took a deep breath as he turned in his seat so he was facing forward. "We could have made it work," he whispered. The sound of his own words quivering made her heart break.
"No we couldn't," she said trying to hold herself together, "I was always just in the back ground to you, you never wanted to be with me."
"Gabby,"
"No," she said refusing to listen, "you don't understand what this was like for me. You were starting your dreams, things were happening so fast and I tried to tell you, you have no idea how many times I stood outside you house when I came to visit that first year."
Gabriella tool a moment to breathe as she held up her hand to stop him from talking, "you were with someone else and you looked so, so happy." Her voice waivered but she kept on speaking, "I didn't want to be just the girl next door to you and I didn't want to be the one to hold you back either. Because that what would have happened, you would have given up everything you worked for and you would have been bitter and resentful."
Troy was quite as he looked out into the neighborhood. She had a point, as small as the point was she had one and he partially understood it. He didn't want to understand her fear, he didn't want to give her an excuse or make what she had done okay. It wasn't. He'd been living his life on the edge all this time not aware of alternate life he could have had, a family. A family with the girl next door, because despite whatever she thought she was so much more to him than just the girl next door. She was his girl next door.
"As time went by, it only got harder and I didn't know what to do. Your parents are going to kill me," she said looking down at her hands as they trembled. "She's so much like you and every time I look in her eyes I just see you," she whispered. "I didn't want her to hate me."
"What about me, she doesn't even know I exist," he said with a sharp bitter tone, "what if she hates me? What if she's wondering where I am? Or thinks that I didn't care enough to stay? That I didn't love her? That's it's her fault? What if she needed me and I wasn't there? I wasn't there!" Troy hit the steering wheel, then he hit again. Letting out a grunt he just proceed to slam his hands against it in a rage of emotion he hadn't been expecting.
"I'm sorry," Gabriella said quietly as she hugged herself tighter feeling almost like she was intruding on his personal space just by being in the car.
"How am I supposed to do this?" he asked gripping the steering wheel to keep his hand still. "What are we going to tell her?"
"I don't know," she said bowing her head. The air between them was still and cold and Gabriella wiped a tear from her cheek and looked back out the window.
"Who else knows the truth?"
"Mom and Dad, Sharpay and Taylor, but I begged them not to say anything," she responded. There was silence and she couldn't tell what was going on in his head.
"Get the fuck out," he whispered refusing to look at her.
Gabriella lips parted as she looked back at him not sure if she should try to comfort him or talk to him. The air was silent and everything was still.
"Just get out," he said taking a deep breath as a tear rolled down his own cheek, "Please."
Gabriella nodded with tears in her eyes as she opened the door handle to the car and step out. As soon as she was outside the car, the engine came to life, as soon as the door was close and she'd step way the car it was already moving forward. Left on the curb all she could do was stand there and watch as the taillights faded from her view.
Closing her eyes she took a deep breath and brought her head up as she walked back towards the house. She had no idea what to expect or what to do but when she got to the door her mother was waiting, ready to usher her in and guide her upstairs into the privacy of her bed room.
Alex stared outside the window at the light rain that began to fall to the ground. She had Little Guy at her side securely as they sat on the couch against the window looking out and listening to the television behind them. Grandpa was asleep in his special chair and grandma and mom were upstairs. Alex leaned over and grabbed her notebook and pen as Little Guy shifted to allow her to get more comfortable.
She's crying again and I don't know why. One moment she was outside talking to Troy and the next she was walking upstairs with grandma. Grownups are always so emotional. Little Guy and I are watching the rain outside. Part of me wishes Troy was here. He's really cool. He taught me how to do a layup and I learned how to check the oil on a truck, and he let me help him fix a step.
I don't know why mom doesn't like him, he's like a super hero! He would be perfect for her if they didn't fight so much. I just don't know what their fighting about, or how I can help. Maybe mom is just upset because she misses Butthead. She's been so sad while we've been here. What if she really does miss home? What if she doesn't like it here because she fights with Troy?
I don't like it when mom is sad. I should talk to Troy about it. Maybe he'll know what to say? Or how to make her stop crying and being so sad. Maybe Troy could ask her to move back and then Troy could ask us to come live with him and then she could forget about Doug. Next time I see Troy I'm going to ask him.
Right about now having a dad doesn't seem like a bad idea. Wish I knew mine, then I could have somewhere to go, someone to hold me and mom when we're sad about things. Maybe it was selfish of me to stop wishing for my dad to come back. Obviously mom needs him more than I do. Troy said that the older we get we have to take care of our parents. I should try to take care of my mom. Living here doesn't seem to be like a good idea anymore, at least back at home she didn't cry.