Okay, here we are. a new chapter finally. I would just like to say I'm sorry for the change in the formatting of Chapter 9. The first parts were written using MS Word but then I had to change programs, so i'm still learning some of the new things. Anyways, here we are with the continuation.

Chakotay went to check on Kathryn the following day. "I wanted to come by on my way to the Bridge and see how you're feeling."

"Still pretty sore. Doctor says that's normal and should be gone in the next couple days."

"Take it easy. I'll see you later at dinner tonight." Chakotay squeezed her hand and left.

- - - - -

Kimberley had made it her mission to spend as much time with the baby as she could. When Katelynn was one week old Kathryn returned to active duty much to the dismay of her eldest daughter. Stepping off the turbo lift, Kathryn paused and looked around her Bridge for a moment before stepping down to her chair. Chakotay stood up and waved his hand as an invitation for her to sit. "Welcome back Captain, the Bridge is all yours". With a smile she sat down, running her hands across the metal arms.

"It's good to be back Commander. Status update." He handed her the reports that he was given at the morning briefing, smiling as their hands brushed momentarily. "Thank you" she said as she tried desperately to ignore the tingling in her fingers.

Kathryn had been on duty for a little over two hours when she realized that she hadn't done a single thing, including read the report Chakotay had given her when she had first sat down. Standing up she looked to her left. "Commander, you have the Bridge, I'll be in my Ready Room". Before Chakotay got a chance to respond she had fled to her sanctuary.

Her head snapped up when she heard the door chime to her Ready Room. Rubbing her eyes she pretended to be busy then called for entry. Seeing Chakotay walk through the door she visibly relaxed. "Commander, how can I help you?" Chakotay held out the padd to her. "Did you get any sleep last night?" he asked curiously.

"Yes but not much. It's kind of hard to when you have to get up every two to three hours to feed a newborn".

"It's not just that. You seem emotionally tired too."

"I'll be okay Commander. If there's nothing more..."

"Do you want to talk about what's bothering you Kathryn?" he interrupted.

"Not particularly" she answered as she picked up the padd and again tried to look busy.

"Okay, suit yourself. If you ever want to talk you know I'm there." With a sigh he turned to leave. Stepping just before the door sensors he turned back again. He wanted to walk over, wrap his arms around her and just hold her, even if she didn't break down and poor her heart out to him. She was about to ask Chakotay what else he wanted when she heard the doors open and close again, leaving her alone in her Ready Room once again.

- - - - -

"Hi Isabelle, whatcha doing?" Kimberley asked the 5-year-old sitting by herself in the corner.

"Nothing" she answered as she pulled her knees up tighter to her chest.

"Why aren't you playing with some of the other children?"

"Because they're being mean to me and they don't like me"

"I'm sure that isn't totally true. You're a fun kid to be with. Maybe they're shy..."

"NO THEY HATE ME!" Before Kimberley could say anything else to Isabelle, she jumped up and ran to another corner of the room in tears.

"What's going on?" Lieutenant Campbell walked over to where Kimberley stood looking over at Isabelle. Shrugging her shoulders Kimberley walked over to the bassinet that her sister was sleeping in. Picking her up carefully she placed a kiss on her forehead. "How's my Katie-bug?" Katelynn let out a loud wail, protesting her removal from her warm bed. She calmed down when held tightly to Kimberley's chest. Tapping her comm badge Kimberley hailed, "Nursery to Captain Janeway, you better come down here. Someone is in need of your services."

"Acknowledged, Commander you have the Bridge". Walking into the nursery Janeway called for a report. Walking up to the Captain, Kimberley handed the baby over. "I believe this is what you're looking for." Janeway looked at Kimberley in confusion but frowning at the tone of voice used. "She keeps sucking on my boob trying to eat" Kimberley growled then made a beeline for the door.

"CREWMAN JANEWAY!!" Kimberley stopped in her tracks but didn't turn back; she had a pretty good idea what was coming next. Lowering her head she started to slowly walk to the doors, "a word in private if you would". Feeling Kathryn's hand on her back guiding her out of the room Kimberley just nodded her head slightly. Once they were outside Kathryn didn't hold back, "your stint in there was uncalled for. Consider yourself restricted to quarters until further notice. Dismissed". Kimberley stood there with her mouth open as she watched her mom disappear back into the nursery.

"Computer open message link to the Command Console on the Bridge. Kimberley Janeway to Commander Chakotay, when you have a minute Sir I would like to meet with you regarding the Captain."

- - - - -

Kathryn took one last look at the table, straightened the forks and waited on her couch for Chakotay to arrive. Kimberley had gone over to Naomi's to eat so that she and Chakotay could talk in private. "you're hungry too are you? Hang on eager beaver...there you go". While Kathryn sat nursing Katelynn her mind wandered back to the argument with Kimberley that morning over her decision to back on duty so soon after Katelynn's birth. "How do I get her to see that as much as I would love to stay home and spend my time with you, that just isn't a luxury I can have. I am responsible for keeping my crew safe and getting them home. I have to concentrate on doing that..." Kathryn's breathing had become slightly ragged and she realized that she was becoming aroused due to the action of the baby sucking on her breast. Kathryn quickly changed her mind to something else. "Gama shift engineering reports should do the trick." Katelynn had begun falling asleep when Chakotay arrived. While he burped, changed and put Katelynn to bed Kathryn finished putting dinner on the table.

"Mm, smells good out here" he said inhaling deeply as he walked back to the table.

"Penne & veggie stirfry. Hope you're hungry" she told him with a smile. After they had finished diner and cleared the table they moved to the couch where he finally told her the true reason for the meeting. "Kimberley told me about your...conversation this morning and then your...discussion...in the nursery."

"Chakotay..." she started to say but he cut her off before she could continue. "I agree with your decision about coming back on duty and that Kimberley's actions in the Nursery were out of line but can you see where she's coming from?"

Kathryn stood up and walked over to the view port closest to her bedroom. She didn't want to listen to what he was saying because deep down she knew he was right. "Explain what you mean"

"Can you see why Peanut is angry with your decision to go back on duty right away?" Frustration flashed in her eyes and she spun around so fast that she nearly fell over. "No Chakotay I'm sorry but I can't. Please feel free to enlighten me" she snapped bitterly.

"I believe her reason to me was 'I want Katelynn to be able to grow up knowing who her mom is and that she doesn't feel her existence is just a mistake even though technically that true'. Kathryn, she doesn't want Katelynn to miss out on all the things that she did growing up". Looking into Kathryn's face he saw that the anger and bitterness had disappeared and was replaced by a deep sadness. She quickly turned away hoping he hadn't noticed the look of shock on her face but she knew in her heart he saw it although he would never acknowledge it. That is one of the many endearing things she loved about this man. He was discreet when she needed it. She realized he had said something but she never heard what it was but he was waiting for some kind of acknowledgment. Giving him a silent nod of her head he left her to be alone with her thoughts. "I'll see you at 0700 tomorrow Commander" she replied. After Chakotay left Kathryn had tried to work on reports, read a book, anything to get her mind off their after-dinner conversation. She could still hear Kimberley's words running around in circles through her mind as said by Chakotay. Janeway eventually gave up trying to relax and just went into Katelynn's room and held her while rocking in the chair.

When she entered her quarters Kimberley noticed that all the lights were off save for the light of passing stars. The music playing softly in the background told her that things were still somewhat tense. "Mom? Are you here mom?"

"In here sweetheart"

"oh, sorry. I didn't realize you were busy. I just wanted to say goodnight" Kimberley turned to leave but Kathryn stopped her. "Wait, I want to talk to you" laying the baby down again Kathryn followed Kimberley out to the couch.

"I'm not sorry for what I said this morning" Kimberley said sitting down.

"That's too bad. I want you to explain what you meant when you told Commander Chakotay that Katelynn should grow up knowing her mom and not feel that her life is a mistake."

"In a nutshell, I don't want her to have to go through what I did growing up. She deserves someone who will be there to tuck her into bed and read her a story every night; hold you at night when you have a bad dream; not worry that today may be the last day with you, teach you about hair, makeup and boys; who will take yo places or at least not be disappointed that another play date is broken because mommy has to work." Kimberley realized that she sounded bitter but she really didn't care.

"Kimberley I don't know how else to get you to understand that I have 150+ other 'children' that I have to keep safe and be with, not just you and Katelynn. Now, this 'mistake' part..."

"...she doesn't need to know that you are comfortable with the idea of not being with us is because we remind you of how messed up your life became. I don't make any sense I'm sure but I can't explain it. Excuse me." Before Kathryn could object Kimberley stepped into her room and shut the door, ignoring the sound of her mom ringing and knocking on the door. After 10 minutes Kathryn finally gave up. Choosing a handful of reports and requests she retired to her own room for the night.

- - - - -

The following morning Kathryn had already gone to work when Kimberley got up. "Computer locate Captain Janeway"

"Captain Janeway is on the Bridge". Kimberley walked over to the computer and opened a channel to the Command Console. "Yes Miss Janeway, what can I do for you?"

"I didn't see you this morning before you left so I was just wanting to say good morning"

"You were sleeping so soundly I didn't want to disturb you by waking you up"

"I don't mind when you do. To be honest I would prefer it if you do. That way I'll know if I go back to sleep and then wake up again and you and Katelynn aren't there, that's why".

"Captain did you change our course through this space?" Tom interrupted from the Helm.

"No Mr. Paris, I haven't approved any course changes." Kathryn turned back to her console, "I'll see you later" then she changed the screen so she could see the same navigation readings as Tom. After a moment she hailed Engineering. "Lieutenant we show that an energy burst occurred causing a change in our current course. What's going on down there?"

"We're on it Captain. As soon as we find out where it came from I'll let you know"

"Keep me informed, Janeway out". She was already up by Ops hoping Harry was finding some info to possibly explain it. "I'll be in Engineering, Commander you have the Bridge. All stop Mr. Paris until we figure out why we changed course."

"Aye Captain. Voyager at all stop"

An hour later B'Elanna was glad to report that they had found the problem. "Turns out there was a short in the relay from the gel packs in Section 26 Gama on Deck 14. They should be back up and running properly within the hour Captain".

"Good job Lieutenant. Inform the Bridge when we can resume course."

"Yes Captain, Torres out"

Chapter 11 coming soon...