Chapter Eleven: cause i'm broken when i'm lonesome

She feels lost like a little girl wandering around in a grocery store looking for her mother. She can't speak, she can't move, she can't see.

She feels dead. Is she even breathing? She remembers flying and then falling and then…what? What after that?

"NIK!" she screeches at the top of her lungs. Her brother's eyes widen in shock, fear, relief. She doesn't know, but her voice won't even work anymore. She can't find the words.

They say that right before you die your life flashes right before your eyes. Every small thing that you got angry about or were thrilled about all comes back to you in one split second. One moment she's thinking about the second she saw her father gets shot in the face and then next she's standing in her mother's bedroom trying to make sense of her limp body hanging from the closet.

This is when Rebekah realizes that she hasn't had a happy memory in her life.

"Little Rebekah. My how you've grown."

She feels weightless.

Caroline lies on a cot on the fourth shelf right below Elena and next to Bonnie. Damon, Stefan, and Jeremy take turns keeping watch because it's never exactly safe. At any moment they could be found out. At any moment, they could all be dead. Caroline wonders if they know that they're all infected. She wonders if she should tell them.

She can't force herself to sleep tonight even though it's pretty comfortable. A pillow, blankets, a mattress, and the breaths of her friends like a lullaby. She's had a shower—considerably cold—but still. It's a shower. She even brushed her teeth with baking soda. She should've learned to appreciate the little things, especially when they're all gone.

All gone.

What about the big things?

They're still here. They were. But she left them.

"Bonnie," she whispers and the girl hardly stirs.

"Bonnie," Caroline says again. Her friend's eyes flicker open the tiniest bit and she lets out a little yawn.

"What's wrong?"

Caroline swallows. "Those people I was with...I need to...they probably think I'm dead."

"Well, it's too dangerous to go out there and look for people we don't need to, Care. If they think you're dead, then they won't look for you. Nothing to worry about, okay? Try and get some sleep."

"But Bonnie…"

"I know what you're saying, Caroline. But is it really worthy risking your life again?"

"But…"

"Caroline, go to sleep." Bonnie turns away from Caroline and falls right back to sleep, but Caroline is just getting started. She understands Bonnie completely. She understands what she'd be risking, but at this point, she doesn't particularly care. If it had been Nik or even Rebekah, she'd want to know if they were still alive. She'd want to fucking know because there is no closure in mystery. There is no closure in being kept wondering what if.

She climbs down from her shelf and hits the ground with a thud. She pads across the concrete to the thin hallway where they came in earlier and finds Stefan sitting by the door with a rifle across his lap.

"Don't you need your beauty sleep or something?"

She ignores his jibe. "I want to leave."

Stefan rolls his eyes. "You made your choice earlier."

"I never made a choice, Stefan. You guys practically forced me to."

"No one forced you to do anything," he sighs, already tired of her. "Why don't you go back to sleep like a good little girl."

"Who do you think you are talking down to me? Have you even heard yourself talk?

"Your tone implies that I'm actually supposed to care."

"What's going on here?"

They both turn to see a pissed off Elena standing by the door. Her arms are crossed and she's shifted her weight to one leg and she's trying her best for a death glare.

"Are you giving her trouble, Stefan? Because she doesn't need this right now after all she's been through. You try being out there on your own for, like, weeks and see how you like it if someone's being a total ass to you for no reason at all. Because I bet that—"

"Elena, stop talking," Stefan deadpans.

And she stops talking.

Caroline's lips curls up in disgust. "What the hell happened to you?"

She grabs Elena's wrist and guides them back through the hallway.

"You'll get over it," Stefan calls to them. They will. Eventually.

Broken glass, his sister missing, Caroline gone, his car totaled, out in the woods at night with one gun; Nik has been dealt a shitty hand all right.

He manages to get cut himself out of the seatbelt with a Swiss knife that was in the glove compartment and squeeze himself out of the window as if he had no spine at all. A shard of the windshield or some part is sticking out of his thigh and he's not going to remove it. So he limps around in pain, agony, searching for that eighteen-year-old girl who could be hurt or worse.

The SUV blows up as he makes it down the road. And then there is another explosion. And another. And another. It doesn't stop. All the grenades, all the pipe bombs; all of it gone. Just gone. Supplies, food, medicine, clothes, guns, ammunition; gone.

It seems so strange to be by himself after so long. After being with Caroline and Rebekah he's gotten used to company. He's gotten used to having someone around, but…maybe it's better this way. Maybe Caroline and Rebekah are better off without him. Has he ever kept them safe? Caroline nearly died twice, Rebekah hadn't even believed it was him when she first saw him.

Things that make him think. Everything he touches dies. And it's not a lie. He wishes it were, but it's not. They either die or they go away. Bye Mikael. Bye mother. Bye Finn. Bye Elijah. Bye Kol. Bye Caroline. Bye Rebekah. His family is gone and that girl is gone too.

Mikael was right. Nobody cares about this boy anymore because there's no one left to care.

"What do you mean you're leaving?" Elena asks incredulously.

They've escaped to the bathroom where they sit in the dark by the lockers. Even though there's total blackness, Caroline can still see the disbelief all over her best friend's face. She just got here and now she wants to leave? It doesn't make any sense. Why would she ever want to leave? It hasn't even been a day!

"E, I don't expect you to understand, but this is something I have to do."

"Care, I can't keep watching people I love die. I can't just let you leave. Why? Why would you want to do that?"

"It's not about dying, Elena. I know what could happen, but I need to find those people. I left them and…I just have to go."

"What's so important about them? What's so great that you want to leave us? I don't even know what their names are..."

"It's Rebekah Mikaelson and her brother Nik."

Elena tilts her head. Rebekah Mikaelson? As in the Rebekah Mikaelson? Blonde hair, English accent, bitchy attitude times ten? That Rebekah?

"Wait," Elena says slowly, doing a double take. "Are you serious? Why?"

"I was with her brother for about a day and then we came across Rebekah. It just happened."

"But you hate her."

"And she hates me, but sometimes you have to let bygones be bygones, Elena. In case you haven't noticed, we're becoming extinct."

"I know, but you trust her? Her and her brother? They could've set you up for their own gain? What if they tried to use you as bait, Care?"

Caroline winces. Well, it's not like she's just going to tell Elena that actually did happen. "We're all in this together. We have to learn to trust each other, you know? We all want to live and there's strength in numbers."

"Well, then I'll go with you. I'm not letting you leave by yourself."

Caroline bites her lip. She had a feeling Elena would say that. She won't let her come though. They aren't Thelma and Louise here. If anyone is leaving, then it's Caroline and only Caroline. Anyone else would be a liability she can't afford to have. But she knows Elena won't back off that easily. She'll find a way to come one way or another.

Then Caroline hatches a plan. She'll need a car. She'll need the SUV, but Stefan is acting as watchdog.

"Do you have a baseball bat or something?" Caroline asks.

Elena's lips part and then close again in confusion. "I think Jer might have a…oh. Stefan."

"Yup."

Reality drifts in and out. It seems like he's in a catatonic state, not really alive but not yet dead. Everything ahead of him are blurry, faded lines. Not sharp, but dull. He doesn't know where he's going, but he knows that he has to keep moving ahead. At some point he'll reach some place wherever that place is.

In the darkness a figure appears. Thin and fragile and tall she is. It must be Caroline. She's come back for him. He knew she wasn't dead. He knew she was alive! And here she is. So beautiful and strong and full of light. He's going to tell her that.

"Sweetheart," he says, but she doesn't answer. She just keeps advancing towards him, her hair bouncing behind her.

But then there's something strange. Something rotten. Warm skin and a smooth voice doesn't come towards him. It's a mirage. A fake. A phony.

He takes a few steps backward slowly, reaching behind him for the gun in his waistband. His hands shake as he lifts it up to aim at the monster's head. Shaking, shaking, and shaking. Concentrate, Nik. Fucking concentrate. This isn't Caroline. Isn't her.

What if she's one of them? It's never crossed his mind before now. What if she's out there, walking around with mindlessly?

"If...if I get bitten, you have to promise me that you won't let me come back as one of those. You have to kill me right then and right there on the spot. Just do it."

What if he's failed her? What if she's already turned and…

He pulls the trigger and the straggler falls to the pavement. The gunshot echoes through the forest around him and he's suddenly aware of how dark it is and how alone he is. Well then. Might as well go out with a bang.

Nik makes a sharp left and heads straight into the forest. Go big or go home.

Here's the plan:

Caroline's going to burst through the hallway and run right up to the garage door and unhinge it. Meanwhile while Stefan is moving to stop Caroline, Elena will sneak up behind him and hit him over the head with Jeremy's prized baseball bat signed by Luke Scott. But not too hard. She doesn't necessarily want to kill him, just keep him out of it for a few hours. Or days. Sassy Stefan has no place in Elena's world.

"So we're clear, right?" Caroline says once more as they leave the locker room.

Elena holds the bat so tightly and shakes her head so nervously like she's going to faint. Caroline needs this to work. She needs it to work. The part she left out was calling for Damon right when she's about to get in the car. He'll be too concerned about Elena's well-being to go after her and while he's trying to stop Elena from jumping into the getaway vehicle, Caroline will drive off into the night and back to Nik. It's a perfect plan if she does say so herself.

"We're crystal," Elena breathes.

"Crystal what?"

Maybe it's reflex. Maybe she's just scared. But suddenly that bat goes flying right into Damon's face and he falls to the ground with a loud thud and Elena's frozen in her place. Caroline's eyes are wide open and her jaw is hanging agape. Jesus Christ. What the fuck just happened?

"Is he dead?" Elena whispers slowly. She looks down at him, mortified. Did she just kill her ex-boyfriend's brother? Holy fucking shit. Elena the axe-murderer, or Elena the baseball bat-murderer.

Caroline kicks one of his feet and his head lulls over to the other side. She kneels down beside him and puts her head on his chest, listening closely for a heartbeat.

She breathes a sigh of relief once she hears the constant of his heart. "He's alive," she tells Elena. "Just um…just leave him here and…shit."

This is not how things were supposed to go. Leave it to Damon to screw up a perfectly decent scheme.

"We can't just leave him here, Caroline."

"He'll be fine, Elena. You were going to do the same thing to Stefan, so what does it matter? Don't baby out on me now."

Elena scowls. "Is it really worth it? What if he has some serious brain damage?"

"It won't hardly be enough after what he's done to me," Caroline hisses, and oh how it's the truth.

Elena looks at her confused. That's right. Caroline never told her. But now isn't the time for an intervention. Maybe another day. Another year.

"I don't know what you mean, but I'm not leaving him here. I'll go get Stefan and—"

"Elena, I love you so much, but I can't let you do that."

Caroline has no evil intentions and she doesn't think she's done anything wrong, but headbutting Elena is her best option. She grips both sides of her friend's head and hits her. Their foreheads clink together, a horrible rattling sound and Elena crumples to the floor besides Damon. Caroline blinks repeatedly, clutching her forehead as her vision goes in and out. Nobody wins in a headbutt, but really what other choice did Elena give her?

She takes the bat from her best friend's hands and sprints to that hallway and to Stefan. She has two unconscious bodies on her hands and she's going to make that an odd three. Look out, world. Caroline's up at bat.

"Stefan," she says out of breath.

He gets up from his seat and regards her with skeptical eyes.

"Elena and Damon," she breathes, pointing out in the hallway. "I think something's happened. They aren't moving."

"What are you talking about?" Stefan starts to move past her and her grip on the bat tightens behind her back.

She spins around as he moves past her and that's all she needs. Her aim is crappy though so she only manages to hit him right in the back. Stefan lets out a grunt in pain and falls to his knees, clutching at his back with both hands.

"It's nothing personal, Steffy. It's just business."

She runs to open the garage door and Stefan calls for Jeremy and Damon, unaware that his brother really is unconscious. But Caroline already has the door swung high above into the ceiling and she's getting into the SUV. The keys are already in the ignition and she starts the engine and suddenly Jeremy is running towards her, but her foot is already on the brake and she's in reverse. She locks a gaze with Jeremy, so confused and so young.

"I'll be back," she mouths. She hopes it to be true.

In Rebekah's dream there's a man. He has dark hair and a suave voice and she feels safe with him. He picks her up and carries her in her arms like she's a little girl and he even calls her so. He keeps saying she's grown so much. That it's been so long since he's seen her last. That he was afraid he might have lost her forever.

He wipes her face and cleans her skin. Her wounds burn when he rubs them with something and she cries because she's never felt pain so great and then she falls asleep again just like moments before.

Every time she opens her eyes he's sitting on the opposite side of the room that's lit by a few candles. She opens her mouth to say something, thank you or who are you but the words never come out. Doesn't really matter, does it? Since she's dreaming.

Caroline drives past a cemetery on her way back to wherever it was she came from. It looks peaceful. Doesn't really look inhabited by anything unfortunate, which is strange because zombies used to crawl out of graves.

She keeps going, keeps herself focused on the road ahead of her. She can't think about Elena because then she'll think about Damon and Stefan and then she'll think about how Jeremy looked so confused and had no idea what the hell was going on and then she'll think about Bonnie because she definitely hates her right now. She doesn't know why she said she would ever be back because she isn't sure they'll even want her back. She's taken their only source of transportation and whatever else is in the trunk. Most likely she's not on the friendly list any longer. Oh well.

She releases her foot off the gas some once she sees fire. Pieces of a vehicle scattered across the road. Trails of fire covering them.

She slams on the brakes and parks right in the middle of the road and runs towards the scene with that bat.

No, no, no.

Her throat gets tight as her eyes feast on the wreck in front of her. This isn't real. She is not too late. This is not them. This is not them!

She's tired of crying, tired of feeling like utter shit and emptiness, but this…she wasn't prepared for this. She runs up and down the outskirts of the forest shouting both of their names, her voice clouded with desperation and heartache.

"Nik! Rebekah! Anyone! Please answer me!"

Nothing but crickets answers her.

"Please?"

After all that and now this. She's failed. She was too late and they're gone and she's knocked out her friends and took their car to go look for dead people. What is her life anymore? What are her choices?

"Nik!" she screams once more because Caroline doesn't give up. Caroline is strong. Caroline doesn't just stop. She keeps trying and she'll keep trying because eventually it'll be enough. Eventually she'll find what she's looking for, even if it is already gone. But she can't let herself believe that. She won't allow herself to believe that.

Then, as if on cue, a faint pop rings out from the woods. She turns her head in the direction and tries to hear it again and it rings so quietly like a murmur.

Without even thinking, she's barreling herself through those trees and towards it. Whatever happens to her happens, but this is her only lead and she'll be damned if she doesn't follow it.

Nik finds himself surrounded by stragglers. They seem to come out of the goddamn trees. It's not a horde, but they're everywhere. He can barely turn around fast enough to keep them off. It seems like as soon as he shoots one another one is coming right for him and he only has a second to dispose of it.

He backs himself onto a tree and strikes them down one after the other, but he's on his last round and things are beginning to look hopeless. He doesn't know where Rebekah is, but hopefully she isn't in pain any longer. And if she is, then hopefully it won't be for much longer. He doesn't know where Caroline is, but maybe she isn't in pain anymore either. Maybe they're waiting for him somewhere in the afterlife or wherever. But that's impossible. He won't see them in Hell.

He takes down another one and another one. They fall like dominoes, but not quickly enough. The barrel spins once more and there's only one more bullet left and three stragglers. What are the chances that he can pull a Wanted here? Zero to none.

He closes his eyes and places the gun to his right temple. "Cheers, mate."

"Nik!"

His eyes shoot back open and land on the figure rushing through the foliage. The stragglers stop and turn their attention to her, all bright and warm and glowing. Mercy has a name and it's Caroline.

It feels like she has the power of an actual batter in her hands when she swings it. She bashes in the head of a straggler and she subconsciously lets out a growl when it falls into the ground. She hits the other right in the middle of the face and does a one-eighty and cracks the head right off the neck of the other one. It rolls over in the dirt, caked in black blood like ink.

"Two for two." She winks. "We're officially even."

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A/N: Thought I wasn't going to be able to update until like Thursday night, but hey. It's Sunday night! I didn't do any of my homework (bad girl, Angel! bad girl!) and instead worked on this, so if you guys don't like it then I just might cry actual tears. Made of glass. And bleach. And rubbing alcohol. The next update might take a while because it's going to be longer and I really have to get into the books. I'm aiming for around 5000 words and yeah ;)

OMG who the hell is Rebekah with? And was that more family history? And you thought Klaus revealed everything...

Oh and you can catch sneak peeks of upcoming chapters on my tumblr, klarolinefeels, or just check the Klaroline tag every so often :D And if you want a playlist for the chapters, here is the link for it on my tumblr /post/29088313069

See you soon!