Oh my God. I'm in Castle's bedroom. So last night wasn't a dream? I really did do it. I listened to my heart and not my brain. Yes.
Castle was laying on his back with his arms laying flat.
I wonder what it's like to cuddle with Castle? I've never really been one for cuddling. And I've never slept in a bed with a guy before; believe it or not. I know, I know, it's bad.
I moved a little over to him, fixing up his hair. I kissed him lightly on the forehead then tucked my head into the crook of his neck. I pulled one of his arms around me gently, wrapping my arms around him. It was warm, welcoming, safe, and sent tingles down my spine.
I dug my head more into his chest. I never wanted this to end. I was scared that when he woke up he would think it was a mistake. Or maybe he would think that now that he had slept with her he could move on to the next and follow them around.
No Kate, stop it. You're letting your brain take over. This wasn't a mistake, it was fate. This was supposed to happen. Of course he's not going to move on just like that. He's not that guy anymore.
Brain shut up! If I keep over thinking this I'm going to screw it up and there will be four years you wasted in love with this guy. More than four years from the first day I read his books. I had dreams about how I would bump into him and we would get married and have kids.
Oh my God, Katherine Beckett, you are the biggest freak. Maybe don't tell him about the dreams about getting married and having kids. Pull yourself together. It's going to work. Just don't do anything stupid; how hard could it be?
I was about to go back to sleep when it hit me. What if Castle doesn't like cuddling in bed? What if he likes his own space and here I am laying half on top of him; like a teddy bear? You screwed up already!
"Kate." Castle said half asleep.
Oh my gosh, why does he have to be so perfect?
"I'm sorry for laying on you like a teddy bear."
You idiot! So much for not saying anything weird.