Crash Chapter 15

"Grace is Gone"

Randy's POV

It's been a couple of weeks now since I fell into the mirror. I'm recovering alright physically, but there's another thing I get to add to my fears now; mirrors. Every time I walk by a mirror now, even if someone is in the general vicinity, I always make a conscious effort not to let my eyes get anywhere near the glass. It makes it damn hard to brush my hair.

I'm beginning to think at this rate, I'll never be able to go back to my apartment. Hey, at least it'd make mom happy.

'What time did Lauren say she'd be by here honey?' mom asks.

'She said she'd be here around three' I say.

'Did she say what she wanted?' mom asks.

'No, but she's probably just coming by to see how I'm doing' I say.

A few minutes later, there's a knock at the door. Mom goes to answer it so I don't have to get up off the couch, since pretty much my whole body hurts now.

'Hi Randy, how are you doing?' Lauren asks, taking a seat in the living room.

'Better. Well, physically, that is. Now I'm even more freaked out when I look at my stomach' I tell her.

'I came by because I wanted to talk to you about something. Now, before you say anything, hear me out. Yesterday our boss from The Detroit Free Press called. He, like everyone else in the tri-county region does, knows about what has happened to you over the past month. Even so, he asked me to join this group of journalists who are going to cover Saddam Hussein's execution in two weeks' Lauren says. I feel like I just got kicked in the stomach.

'When do you leave?' I manage to ask.

'Eleven days from now' she answers.

'I want to go with you' I state.

'I really don't think you should Randy, it wouldn't be good for your health' Lauren says.

'She's right honey. What if something happens to you over there?' mom says, appearing out of thin air.

'What if something happens to Lauren over there?' I ask. No one has an answer to that question.

'Alright, listen, if it makes you feel any better, I'll talk to Steve and tell him I can't go' Lauren offers.

'No, I don't want you to do that; I want to go with you. I mean, there's only going to be one execution of Saddam Hussein' I say.

'Unfortunately, that's not an option' mom tells me.

'How long will you be over there?' I ask.

'Four days. More like two and a half really, because the plane leaves on the morning of the fourth day, and of course I don't get there until night on the first day. Then you throw in sleeping and time zone changes, it's really not that long' Lauren says. I don't care. Half a millisecond is too long for her to be there in my opinion.

'You know, maybe I should go ahead and leave. I'll talk to Steve about this assignment' Lauren says.

'What'll matter? It's not like the ambassador can ask them to hold off on executing their tyrant of a former leader because an injured reporter from The Detroit Free Press wants to be able to make the sojourn with his reporter girlfriend' I say. I almost said fiancée instead of girlfriend. I've got to get this whole thing off my chest and out in the open. I especially need to say something about this now just incase something does happen and Lauren doesn't come back from Iraq.

'Well, I'll see you later Randy' Lauren says on her way out.

'Wait! Uh, there's something I need to talk to you about.' I stand up and hobble over to where Lauren is, wincing a couple of times, which I know will not make a good case for myself to be going over to Iraq. I reach into my pocket and dare myself to pull out the small black box. I get down on one knee, sending searing waves of pain shooting through my body in the process. 'Lauren Johnson, will you marry me?' Dad walks in right as I finish asking the question. He looks at mom for an answer, and she gives him a shrug.

Lauren's POV

Oh my God. I can't believe that…that Randy just asked me to marry him. What do I say? I know the silence must be killing him. Surely he's figured out the answer by now.

'No. I mean, no, not right now. This isn't going to change anything about the assignment' I say. I feel so bad. I feel bad about myself, and I feel bad for Randy. But there's just no way I can say yes right now. It doesn't feel right. Randy is doing this out of desperation. Okay, maybe not desperation, but he's doing this because he's afraid I'll go over to Iraq and get blown up by some car bomb, and that's the wrong reason to propose and the wrong reason to say yes. I think Randy should just go back to his original plan to propose at The Blue Note. (My uncle's restaurant).

Randy looks hurt and disappointed. I guess I would be too, but my reasons for saying no are good ones, and I don't feel like I have to justify them to anyone but me. That may make it sound like I'm being a bitch, but I'm not going to start out a marriage by lying, because that'll only lead to more lying, which will ultimately lead to no good.

'Okay, forget about it, it's a bad idea' Randy blurts out, still kneeling on the floor, though he looks like he may pass out any minute. God, what have I done? The poor guy killed himself trying to get over here and down on one knee, and how do I repay him? By destroying his hope, morale, dignity, self esteem, and will to live all in one word.

Mrs. Taylor looks like she wants to say something, but doesn't because I guess there's really nothing for a parent to say in a situation like this. I feel very out of place right now.

'I guess I'll be going then' I whisper to Mr. and Mrs. Taylor. I don't have the courage or nerve to say anything to Randy. I think he thinks he's heard enough from me for now.

A/N: So I know everyone is freaking out right now and probably wondering what the hell I'm thinking. Look, I'm sorry that it took me this long to update. Oh, you mean what the hell am I thinking about having Lauren say no to Randy's marriage proposal. I see. I had a huge fight with myself over this one. Half of me wanted to do it, half of me didn't, and the other half of me wondered why there's three halves of me.

Seriously though, reasons for things that happened in this chapter will become more evident as the story progresses.

I also want to say that I hope I didn't offend anybody with my references of Saddam Hussein in this chapter. I just needed some big time news event to…well, I won't say any more because it will spoil the story. But in all seriousness, if I have offended anyone, I am genuinely sorry.

Please R&R if you think that Lauren did the wrong thing. You can read and review as well if you think Lauren did the right thing.

Thanks for reading everybody.

-Yours truly, Randy Taylor