Disclaimer: Total Drama is owned by Fresh TV, Teletoon and Cartoon Network while the Nostalgia Critic is owned by Doug Walker of That Guy with the Glasses.
Note: This is the final chapter of episode 1 where we see the first vote off of the season. After this, all episodes will have two chapters and will loosely follow the plot of Total Drama Revenge of the Island but with more character growth and subplots to keep it fresh. Also I would like to thank cool825 for favouriting this fanfic. That would be highly appreciated but not compulsory.
"Okay campers," the Nostalgia Critic said to the campers, "what you have to do is cut down the totem poles and ride them back to camp. Simple as that."
"Yeah about that," Abdul said worried, "It's a long way down and we could really get hurt."
"Don't worry," reassured the Critic, "there's rough material at the finish line to slow you down. Any way the first team to reach the finish line will win immunity and a prize and the losing team will be sending someone home."
"Like are there any more details," asked Aurora.
"Yes there are," replied the Critic, "you have 7 minutes to do this or else the poles will start spraying pee on you. Oh and by the way, the Mad Monkeys will have a trampoline while the Crazy Crocodiles will have a saw, just to see what strategies you'll come up with."
"Any further details," Sheila asked suspiciously.
"Alright," the Critic confessed, "Someone thought it was a good idea to dump radioactive waste on this island for some reason so be careful. I'll leave you to it."
With that the Critic left for camp and the campers looked up to the totem poles and thought about how to cut them down. Well a few did while the others were worried of living in a radioactive environment.
"Alright! Let's do this," shouted Lauren excitedly as she jumped on the trampoline only to land in the river.
Confessional: Okay, now $%*^ just got real.
Lauren: Ow, that hurt!
Aurora: Radioactive waste?! That's like so off! I could get leukaemia, bone marrow disease and permanent wrinkles!
Li Zhang: Oh, great. Now humanity is duking it out on the natural environment. If I could I'll chuck one of those barrels on each village, city and town, see how they like it.
Meanwhile, with the Crazy Crocodiles, Abdul was analysing his own team.
"Look at those wierdos," he thought to himself, "The Australian and Caribbean chicks constantly bicker over oil, the otaku won't shut up about comics, same with the fat boy."
Abdul had noticed Jim attempting to climb up the tree with no avail. "At least the big brute knows the challenge but he's not doing it right," he thought again before calling out loud, "Is there a sane person on this team but myself!"
The other teammates stopped what they were doing to look at Abdul, who was now looking a bit stressed.
"That would be me," Jonny said breaking the silence.
"What were you doing," Abdul asked.
"I sat there looking at my sister on the other team," Jonny answered, "And when I did, thought of all the good things we did together but when I thought of the seesaw, I thought of physics for some reason."
"I didn't know you liked science," said Jim, "looks like you are a nerd as well as a sissy."
Jonny growled at that statement.
"You know physics," said Abdul fascinatedly, "tell me more."
"Okay," Jonny continued, "the seesaw is a type 1 lever with the fulcrum in the middle and work and mass on opposite ends. Then I thought maybe I could make a human tower to get to the rope."
The rest of the team nodded at the idea, Jim to a smaller degree. Then Jonny drew a red cross on the ground and got Abdul to stand on it and constructing and arranging a simple seesaw like so.
"Abdul starts the ladder," Jonny explained his plan, "We already know the lever and fulcrum but what of work and mass? Nickolas will be the work because assuming gravitational acceleration of 9.8m/s2, a higher mass means more force and therefore more work, no offence intended Nick."
"None taken bud," Nickolas reassured Jonny.
"Anyway," Jonny continued, "Every time Nickolas jumps on the raised end of the lever, we will need the other mass to finish equation and that would be each of us! Midori you're first."
Midori did as Jonny said and stood on the lower end of the seesaw when she remarked, "You know, Jonny is a lot like Izzy from Digimon. They are both intellectuals."
"Nobody cares toots," Jim interrupted rudely.
Later, Nickolas jumped on his end of the seesaw, sending Midori up into the air and landed with her hands on Abdul's shoulders. It was then the team was giggling.
"What so funny," Midori asked in confusion before realising her skirt had flipped down revealing her pink-striped panties. Midori gasped at this and resorted herself so that her feet are on Abdul's shoulders instead. The 2 person tower wobbled a bit before stabilising.
Confessional: All I can say is LOL.
Midori: I had to wear stripy panties. It comes with being an otaku.
Abdul: How did the crossdresser get so smart? Did his mom homeschool him or anything? I don't know.
Jim: (his nose was bleeding) That was hot, shame it was so short but satisfying.
Jonny: I hope I am right with my calculations. And for the record, I learnt it at school.
Meanwhile on the Mad Monkeys, Malcolm was making calculations of his own.
"Okay given a mass of approximately 100 pounds," he was saying, "Lauren should be able to reach the rope if she jumped on the exact centre of the trampoline."
"Um, I would like to point out a flaw here," Aurora commented, "Lauren doesn't want to use the trampoline anymore! I'm going in!"
"No stop," Malcolm warned, "you're probably too light!"
Aurora completely ignored the warning; Malcolm predicted from his calculations that Lauren would barely grab the totem pole's base then climb to the rope from there. But since Aurora was lighter, she bounced higher and even hit the totem base and this repeated several times until Jenny got fed up and pulled the trampoline away so Aurora landed hard on the ground.
"You need to stop disobeying your teammates," Jenny scolded Aurora, "you could have hurt yourself."
"Then why don't we get Li Zhang to do it," Aurora responded while rubbing her head.
"Hell no," Li Zhang retorted.
"Oh no, you're going to get up to that rope and cooperate," Lauren said to Li Zhang having recovered, "and then we can leave you alone for the whole night."
"Fine," Li Zhang responded in submission, "but don't get used to this. I don't want to have to take orders from animals all the time."
The whole team was shocked at the insult but allowed Li Zhang to climb up the tree using kung fu gymnastics and began biting at the rope.
A minute passed before Victor spoke up, "Crud, this is not working." It was then he took the form of Chester and demanded, "Oh cut the goddamn f&(#ing rope already! I need my sponge bath."
"That's what we are like trying to do Victor," Aurora responded unaware of Victor's 'performance' at lunch.
"Stop calling me Victor," 'Chester' retorted, "call me Chester! Christ these kids today."
It was then what appears to be a shaven squirrel appeared on the branch. Most of the females on the Mad Monkeys would go 'aww' at it (particularly Mari) until it blinked its eyes which were reptilian. That got them grossed out. Then Lauren spoke up, "you know it would be a lot quicker if we actually had a saw."
"Like hell we need one," said 'Chester' holding a rock, "Back in my day we didn't have saws; we made do with rocks!" He threw it intending to hit the rope but had instead hit the mutant squirrel, pissing it off enough to start shooting lasers out of its eyes at the contestants. They went panicky and hysterical, Aurora in particular ducked in fear but her mirror reflected one of the lasers at the rope, liberating the Mad Monkeys totem pole ready for riding.
Confessional: Attack of the Laser-eyed Squirrels! That would be a cool yet clichéd movie title.
Aurora: I need to have a word with the Critic about this atrocity! It could have burnt off my hair! Oh, well. At least my mirror moved my team forward.
Mari: That squirrel looked so cute at first until it blinked and shot lasers. But Victor is so funny with his 'Chester' routine.
Li Zhang: No comment.
'Chester': Piss off you youngling, I'm trying get some peace here, if there is any.
Meanwhile on the Crazy Crocodiles team, the human ladder got progressively taller, after Midori came Nessie, Jim and Sheila.
"Don't even think about looking up," Nessie said to those below her.
"I wouldn't even bother," responded Abdul in a deadpan tone, "It would feel stupid and I assume Midori won't either because she is a girl."
"I'll tell what is stupid," commented Jim from above, "when the only girl above me is wearing shorts which is actually kind of boring." Sheila scowled at Jim for that comment based on what it implied.
"Okay guys," Jonny called from below with the saw in his hand, "I'm the last one so get ready." Jonny readied himself on the far end of the seesaw with the saw in his mouth to even his weight. Nickolas jumped on the higher end one last time to send Jonny flying through the air. He landed on Sheila's shoulders in a more stable position due to years of gymnastics practice.
"You know what else is stupid," Jim said, "when the only person above you wearing a skirt is a boy and I am above gay people."
"Does it look like I care," Jonny retorted at Jim, "now shut up so we can get this over with." Jonny then used the saw he had to cut the rope so as to liberate the Crazy Crocodiles totem pole.
"Awesome," Nickolas cheered from below, "and with only three minutes to spare!"
"Good work guys," said Jonny as the human ladder went down gently, "but we'll have to hurry if we want to win. We are a bit behind." He's not kidding. The Mad Monkeys totem pole was being ridden on by its members on the river so the Crazy Crocodiles quickly pushed their totem pole onto the river catch up.
Confessional: Quick!
Jonny: That went quite well actually. I think the other team got ahead due to sheer luck. Did you see how disorganised they were?
Nessie: You know what, I admire Jonny for being smart but really I came here for oil and Sheila is in my way. I might have to resort to unethical acts to get rid of her if I feel is absolutely necessary which is thankfully not now.
"Crafty little $#!&s," Lauren cursed at the opposition's progress, "they're close behind. I don't even want to know what they did."
"Okay first of all cut down the swearing, it's not doing anyone any favours," Jenny said appalled at Lauren's potty mouth, "Second, we should probably get ready for a waterfall drop!"
"Alright," Malcolm cheered, "Elitch Gardens rendition for the win!"
Basically all of the Mad Monkeys sans 'Chester' and Li Zhang were really looking forward to the thrill ride of the waterfall. And then they flew off the waterfall acting like they were on some sort of roller coaster before landing on the dry ground and still going. The turbulence had Mari fall off partially and holding onto the hind end of the totem pole.
"Okay this could make my face dirty later on," Aurora commented, "but I'm having so much fun that I simply don't care!"
"Darn kids today with their thrill rides," 'Chester grumbled when he heard Mari scream for help. That caused him to revert to Victor and say, "What the heck happened? Oh no, Mari!" Victor held out his hand to Mari who latched on and was pulled in.
"Oh Victor," said Mari gratefully and in relief, "you saved me."
"It was nothing," Victor said, "Zeyde taught me that when dad was doing rabbi business."
Meanwhile, the Crazy Crocodiles flew off the waterfall as well and landed on the ground only they didn't enjoy it as much; Abdul even spewed of the side from the turbulence.
"Uh can we stop the ride," Abdul groaned, "I don't want to do this anymore."
"What are you giving up," Jim said shocked, "I never realised you such a baby." No response from the Arab boy.
"Hey I just thought of something," Jonny proclaimed, "If we all lean forward we would create a more streamlined body, this means less drag and more speed."
"Wow, he knows his physics well," commented Sheila as the whole of the Crazy Crocodiles leaned forward to successfully overtake the Mad Monkeys.
Confessional: Almost there!
Lauren: Did the opposition just overtake us?! We're screwed.
Mari: Victor is so noble and cute. But we only just met so nothing too serious.
Abdul: I wanna go home.
Meanwhile at the bottom/finish line, the Nostalgia Critic was berating Chris Mclean.
"Chris, what the hell were you thinking," the Critic shouted, "nuclear waste is a serious health hazard!"
"No worries bro," Chris reassured his master, "most of it is away from the camp."
"Don't you dare call me bro," the Critic kept ranting, "I am your master so you will call me master! And I do not want to see your face again until all the waste is off the island. This place is worth a fortune and I do not want to lose it in a lawsuit!"
"Okay, master," Chris submitted the Critic's authority as he left to clean up the waste but as he did the Crazy Crocodiles totem pole trampled him as its riders got off. Suddenly, Midori decided to stay back and heal Abdul.
"Abdul is in no condition to help us," Midori explained to her teammates with Abdul being really dizzy, "what I don't want is people holding us back but I believe everyone counts so I'm going to make like Nurse Joy and heal him."
"What," Nessie exclaimed, "You can't just stop cooperating to help some unpatriotic loser!" Sheila looked at Nessie displeased at the racism.
"Never mind that," Jonny said, "we can do without."
So the remaining five Crazy Crocodiles struggled to lift up their totem pole liberating Chris only for the Mad Monkeys totem pole to trample him as well.
"Okay guys we are going to put our differences aside to work together and achieve victory just like the other team did," Jenny explained the next game move as she and her teammates got off, "that means you too Li Zhang. This is easiest if we spread our lift to prevent tilt. Now on the count of three. One. Two. Three!"
On Jenny's command, the Mad Monkeys easily lifted up their totem pole and managed to put it on the platform, ending the timer at 15 seconds.
The Nostalgia Critic noticed this, brightened up and said, "And the Mad Monkeys win the first round!"
The Mad Monkeys cheered at their victory while the Crazy Crocodiles groaned in failure, and it didn't help that their pole's timer hit zero and it started to cover them in urine. Chris laughed at their misfortune when he recovered but one glare from the Critic sent him to the woods.
"Mad Monkeys," the Critic explained to the team, "you overcame all odds to get here so I reward you with immunity from elimination."
"Yeah, why not like a prize," Aurora said disappointed.
"Look we're only just starting okay," the Critic finished off, "now after sundown, both teams will meet me at the elimination ceremony so I can show you how it's done. That is all. Now do whatever the hell you want. Oh and Crazy Crocodiles, you might want a shower."
Confessional: Oh they're gonna have to glue you back together IN HELL!
Aurora: I didn't really like how there was no physical prize like well a physical but just immunity will do.
Victor: Now, I will try my best to hold Chester back in the future but don't get me wrong I have more in stock for you.
Jim: Abdul is such a pansy. Nessie's racism is justified.
Nickolas: I don't wanna go home!
A while later, all 14 campers were at the communal washroom to clean up for the night, especially the Crazy Crocodiles who desperately needed to wash the pee off. In the washrooms, Jonny and Jenny were conversing.
"Brother, I'm actually glad to be showering together," Jenny said, "It's practically one of the only times we can be together outside the mess hall."
"That's nice sis," Jonny responded, "but onto another subject. I don't really like Midori."
"Let me guess, she won't stop stalking you," Jenny assumed.
"Yeah you could say that," Jonny continued, "but more importantly she is a hypocrite, saying she'll help Abdul or else he'll hold us back when she did that very thing! Oh that makes me so cross!"
With that, Jonny left the shower to dry up and put his clothes only to see Jim hold them in the hair. Luckily for the redhead, he was not the more naïve Malcolm and went to kick Jim's crotch, pick up his clothes and leave quietly.
When Jim recovered, we approached the naked Jenny and said, "Hey toots, mind if I join in?"
"Get lost you pervert," Jenny retorted, "Have you learnt nothing from being kicked in the kiwis?"
"Okay no need to get hasty, however sexy that is," Jim continued, "anyway, Abdul is a complete wuss so I'm going to vote him off."
"Do what you want," Jenny concluded, "It's not my team so it's not my business."
So Jim turned around to see Victor before taunting, "What's the matter mon, you chicken?" Evidently, Victor refused to use the shower.
"No I am not," Victor retorted, "I'm not allowed to." Almost instantly, Jim pushed Victor into another shower booth and left the cold water running before running out. Victor got back up and turned off the water and he was dripping like mad. He now hated the Jamaican hulk for what happened.
Confessional: Twins in the same shower!? You're lucky nothing interesting happened!
Victor: Sacre bleu! That meshuggener! How dare he push me down like that! Oh and me being banned from unsupervised bathing? I wasn't joking! I just don't want to spill any details.
Jonny: I rarely encountered bullies where I come from but when I do, I kick their kiwis. My mum taught me that in case any conservatives picked on me for being not their definition of boy.
Later that night, all of the campers, plus Chris and Chef, gather at the elimination ceremony, where the Nostalgia Critic awaits. He stands in front of the oil drum podium with a tray of 13 marshmallows the two interns side-by-side and the campers on the tree stumps facing the Critic.
"Greetings campers," the Critic said calmly, "welcome to the first campfire of the season. It is here I eliminate campers after each episode of the season. And to keep track, we have flags representing you if you take a look around."
There are 13 flagpoles representing the campers and the flags are as follows:
The UAE flag representing Abdul,
The Quebecois flag representing Victor,
The Caribbean flag representing Nessie,
The British flag representing Jonny and Jenny,
The Venezuelan flag representing Aurora,
The Central Commune flag representing Malcolm,
The communist Australian flag representing Sheila,
The French flag representing Mari,
The Jamaican flag representing Jim,
The Canadian flag representing Lauren,
The Chinese flag representing Li Zhang,
The Japanese flag representing Midori,
And the Mickey Mouse motif Greater Californian flag representing Nickolas.
"If any of you is voted off the island, the flag representing you will lower to reflect on your shame and dishonour," the Critic continued explaining, "Now will the Mad Monkeys each get one marshmallow then move off to the side?"
The Mad Monkeys got their marshmallows leaving only the Crazy Crocodiles. Then the Critic continued explaining, "And now for some questions. Abdul, how was the challenge?"
"It was stupid," the Muslim boy answered, "I got dizzy, I have to thank Midori for healing me with vegetarian sushi." Midori blushed at this.
"Nessie," the Critic asked, "what is your long term goal for Total Drama Tween Island?"
"To be honest I came for the oil recently discovered here," Nessie replied, "and Sheila won't get off my back. What's her problem? It'll earn my millions."
"Last question," the Critic said one more time, "Jonny, what is with all the physics knowledge?"
"I am a physics nerd," Jonny answered, "It was from there I formed a popular clique of which I am head of. It's to get people smarter if they want to join."
"Okay," the Nostalgia Critic continued, "Now, as was demonstrated by the winning Mad Monkeys, marshmallows, a symbol of a fun, happy, social camp experience, represent life here. When I call out your name, come up and claim your marshmallow. The person who does not get a marshmallow must then walk the Dock of Shame and board the Boat of Losers and you cannot EVER come back. The elimination will be determined democratically, that means you vote for who leaves. You may now use the confessional to cast your vote."
Confessional: It's voting time!
Jonny: (He holds up a vote for Midori). That was a dumb move you made. And I cannot tolerate your stalking anymore.
Jim: (He holds up a vote for Abdul). You are a complete wuss. It's time to go.
Sheila: (She holds up a vote for Midori). Just eliminating Nessie will teach her nothing. You were the next one on my list.
Nessie: (She holds up a vote for Sheila). Get your hippie commie ass back down under!
Midori: (She holds up a vote for Abdul). Gomenasai, Abdul-kun. I had no-one else to vote for.
After the votes were cast, Chris brought the over to the Critic for counting. However the results are not immediately apparent. "You have made a decision," the Nostalgia Critic continued, "I will now hand over the marshmallows. The first one goes to…"
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"Nickolas,"
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"Nessie,"
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"Jonny,"
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"Jim,"
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"Sheila,"
Abdul and Midori remain. One marshmallow remains. "Right you two, this is the final marshmallow of the evening."
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"Abdul."
Abdul felt relieved as he was given the marshmallow. Midori on the other hand could only stare as Chef lowered her flag.
"Midori," the Critic said, "you are the first camper out. What do you have to say for yourself for your hypocrisy?"
"Well I," Midori muttered, "I'm so sorry. I just thought too much of the team and not enough of myself. But I have some leaving gifts in case I did lose."
Midori went to her former quarters and came out with a bag. She gave a Fullmetal Alchemist manga to Victor, more vegetarian sushi to Abdul, a katana sword to Jim which Chris immediately confiscated, a Madoka Kaname doll to Mari, a digivice to Malcolm, a Nintendo DS with Pokemon Platinum to Sheila, some karate scrolls to Li Zhang so he could learn martial arts outside of kung fu, model dragon balls to Nickolas, a Naruto headband to Lauren, some pocky to Aurora and some ramen to Nessie.
When Midori got up to Jonny, he rudely said, "What do you want?"
"Here you can have this," Midori said as she handed over a piece of wood carved in the shape of North Korea.
"Uh, thanks," Jonny said calmly.
"No problem," Midori said as she went on to give a piece of wood carved in the shape of South Korea to Jenny. She then got on the boat of shame, shouted, "Sayonara everyone," and left the island.
Shortly after, the Critic said, "Well that was unexpected. And now for one last piece of information. There is an idol carved in the shape of my head called the Critic Immunity idol. Find it for a chance of instant immunity in case you get the most votes. That is all; you may now leave for bed."
As the campers went to bed, the Nostalgia Critic turned to the camera and said, "Well that was an epic start. But don't worry there will be much more. One camper is down and thirteen remain. Who will be the second off the island? Find out next time on Total Drama Tween Island!"
Well Midori's gone. I know some of you may have liked her as an otaku stereotype lampoon but she was only filler for the story. The items she gave however will come out to be more important, well some anyway.
Votes
Abdul: Midori
Jim: Abdul
Jonny: Midori
Midori: Abdul
Nessie: Sheila
Nickolas: Midori
Sheila: Midori
XXXXX
Midori - 4
Abdul - 2
Sheila – 1
Mad Monkeys: Aurora, Jenny, Lauren, Li Zhang, Malcolm, Mari, Victor.
Crazy Crocodiles: Abdul, Jim, Jonny, Nessie, Nickolas, Sheila.
Eliminated: Midori.
Next time: One camper earns instant immunity for some reason (NO IT IS NOT THE IDOL!) but the rest are forced to confess to Chris their darkest secrets.