Title: Explanations Can Wait
Author: Pandora of Ithilien

Disclaimer: NCIS and all related characters: not mine. Alex, on the other hand, is mine.

Jethro could feel his team's eyes on him, but he ignored them. This scene was familiar, standing by and watching as a woman he loved was lowered into the ground. The first time, the pain had been both worse, because it wasn't just Shannon but Kelly as well, and yet less, because he didn't have the drive for revenge holding back the worst of the pain. Mike had killed Svytlena, and Jenny herself had taken out the men who'd murdered her, so there was no more revenge to be had. All he was left with was the pain and the regrets.

"Once upon a time I would have asked you to stay. And I wouldn't have taken no for an answer."

"No."

Why hadn't he stayed? God knew he'd wanted to. But he hadn't been willing to risk it, not if she wasn't serious, not if all she'd wanted was one night. And even if he had, there was the kid. Carson. But he could have gone to see her another night. He could have asked, could have pushed until he knew exactly what she'd been suggesting. But he hadn't. The fact was, she'd opened the door she'd closed that first day on the stairs when she'd coolly informed him that there would be no off-the-job. And he'd been the one to ignore it. And now it was too late.

It wasn't until he was leaving Arlington that he saw her. A tall, slender redhead holding a folded American flag, locked in a heated confrontation with Leon Vance. Alex, Jen's baby sister. He'd never met her, but Jen had talked about her a lot when they'd been in Europe and had mentioned her a few times over the past few years. He'd been shocked when the woman hadn't given the eulogy – she'd left it to Vance to do. Maybe she agreed with him that this whole funeral had been about the Director, not Jenny at all.

But that wasn't what the argument was about, he found as he drew closer. Alex and Vance had chosen a shadowed corner of the parking lot so they wouldn't be noticed, but it also made sneaking up on them easier. And what he heard…

"I'm sorry, Alex. But this isn't my op, don't blame me."

"Right, Leon, you're just a pawn in all this. I find that very difficult to believe."

What? Since when did Jen's sister – a civilian scientist contracted by the Air Force, if he remembered correctly – know Leon Vance well enough to be on a first-name basis with him?

"Hardly a pawn, but I'm not a major player either. Talk to Ravenwood."

"I already did. It was 'need-to-know', and I didn't need to until it was all over. Though she did say I was supposed to know before the 'death'. Something about the original plan involving a staged car crash. I guess L.A. was an unplanned development."

"That was the impression I got. You'd better go, before someone gets suspicious. I know you don't like this set-up, but if it works…"

"I'm not going to jeopardize it. Fine, but this isn't over. I've got no plans to just roll over. This is a truly screwed up situation."

"Just keep me out of your solution. Your methods of repair are usually messy."

"Will do. Take care, Leon."

Jethro stood frozen, too stunned to move. He wasn't exactly sure what had just been said here, but some things had certainly been implied. And he was going to find out the truth of it all if it killed him.

Vance's rearrangement of his team slowed him down a bit. Jethro didn't trust his new team enough to leave them alone for longer than a few hours, and besides, he didn't want to draw Vance's suspicions just yet. He did, however, pour all the energy he could spare and then some into bringing his team back. He'd have lied if he said that Abby's pleas, the wistful look he saw in McGee's eyes every time they happened to cross paths, the stories of bombs in the Middle East that inevitably brought Ziva to mind, or the utterly dejected look on DiNozzo's face when he'd left for the U.S.S. Reagan had nothing to do with his drive, but that wasn't all. Once he had his team back, people he could trust alone for a few days – with Ducky's supervision – he could take a little trip to Colorado Springs and find out just what the hell was going on.

He gave it two weeks once Tony was back, the last of them to return. Gave them the time to readjust to each other. Then he informed his senior agent that he was in charge for a week, got the time off from Vance, and caught a plane to Colorado Springs.

Standing outside Alexandra Shepard's apartment door, he experienced one moment of hesitation. What if they'd been talking about something completely unrelated to Jen? Hell, what if he'd imagined the entire thing and was finally going crazy? Pushing those thoughts aside – if he was going crazy, better he reveal it now to a stranger than in a time and place when his team might need him sane – he rang the doorbell.

The door opened to reveal Alex, who took off her reading glasses – identical to Jen's, he noticed – in order to see him more clearly. Her eyes narrowed with a mixture of suspicion and confusion. "Special Agent Gibbs? Um, what are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Oh." And then a glint that somehow reminded him of Abby at her most devious crept into the green eyes, clearing all confusion away. "Come on in."

The apartment was decent-sized, and the living room was neat, though not as neat as Jen would have kept it. Alex clearly went in for knickknacks and a little clutter. "Sit down," she said. He took a chair and she perched on the arm of her couch. "So, what can I do for you?"

"At your sister's funeral, you were fighting with Vance. Something about an op that involved a fake death?"

"Oh, you heard that? Damn, you're good, I should have noticed you."

"I didn't know astronomers were so skilled at catching eavesdroppers."

"Oh, Jenny hasn't told you nearly everything there is to know about me. She's alive, by the way."

Maybe it was the fact that he'd been trying to suppress that hope since the funeral, or maybe it was the casually delivered statement, but Jethro couldn't quite believe her. "And how did that happen? Tony and Ziva know the difference between unconscious and dead." Too late he remembered the fire cover story.

"So glad you're not using that stupid cover story. Jen's always been too light a sleeper not to wake up if there was a fire. Anyway, I never said there wasn't a body, but it wasn't Jen's. And as for how that's possible, I'll let her tell you."

"Where is she?"

"Before I tell you, why do you want to know?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"If you're just going to chew her out for pulling the death stunt, I'm not telling you."

He hadn't really considered what he'd do if Jen was alive and they came face-to-face again. But he knew that while fighting might be part of it, it wouldn't be all of it. "That's not what I want to see her for." And that was the truth, as much as he could say. "So where is she?"

"London." Alex hesitated, then added, "I'm flying out day after tomorrow; you can tag along."

"Why don't you just give me the address?" He didn't want a kid sister playing chaperone.

"Oh, I won't stick around. I've got other plans for this trip. The visit to Jen was probably going to be all fighting anyway. You know how sisters are."

He didn't, and he didn't give a damn. Jen was alive, and he was going to see her. Somehow, nothing else seemed to be important.

The flight had been quiet. Jethro wasn't one for conversation and Alex had brought work along. He didn't look at it; he wasn't really interested. Besides, he'd seen the 'CLASSIFIED' stamp on the folders; the last thing he needed was for the Air Force to throw him in jail. Not when he didn't at least have a good reason to know what was in the files. And it spared him from small talk.

They landed and Gibbs noticed it was raining. It reminded him of Marseilles. They'd run into that attic because it had been pouring. He still remembered how Jenny had muttered something about looking like a drowned rat, and his own incredulity at the comment. He'd told her that she didn't, she'd given him that skeptical look of hers, and he'd proven that he wasn't lying by pulling her to him and kissing her hard. That had been their first kiss, the first time they'd made love, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to remember right now or if he'd rather not think about it when he didn't know how this meeting would end.

They caught a cab to a nice apartment building. Alex led the way inside and to the elevators, hitting the button for the fifth floor. They got out and headed down the corridor. They turned a corner and stopped at the first door on the left. Alex raised a hand to knock and then stopped, glancing at Jethro. Then she pushed him lightly. "Go back around; if she sees you right off she might panic."

He rolled his eyes but did as she asked. After all, even he probably didn't know Jen as well as her sister did, so maybe it would be best to follow her advice. Maybe I should have called Alex when her sister decided to run off and leave nothing but a Dear John letter, he thought. Then again, she might have been no help at all. And since it had been almost a decade ago now, thinking about it was pointless.

He heard a door opening and a familiar voice say lightly, "You're late." Jenny. Any doubts he had vanished.

"Traffic sucked," Alex drawled.

"Oh, I'm sure. Why haven't you come in yet?"

"Oh, um…"

Great. Now she lost her nerve. Deciding he wasn't going to wait and see whether or not Alex would recover, he stepped around the corner. "Hi, Jen."

"Jethro…" Jenny whispered, in total shock. Then she whirled on Alex. "Alex! What the hell – !"

Alex held up a hand. "Don't even start."

"You… you… I thought you had more sense than to – !"

"Bye, Jen," Alex said. She grabbed Jethro's wrist and pulled him forward, actually sending him past Jenny in the doorway. Then she grabbed the door and closed it before either Jethro or Jenny could react.

They stared at each other for a minute, listening as Alex's running footsteps receded. Finally Jenny said weakly, "You shouldn't be here."

"Neither should you. You're looking good for a dead woman, by the way." She was looking good for anyone, actually. But now that he was here, all the pain of the past four months has turned into anger. Why had she done it?

"Jethro, you don't understand," she snapped.

"Well, explain it to me then. How could you do it, Jen?"

"Oh please. Look, I know about the team and I'm sorry. Vance shouldn't have done that. But really, Jethro. Stop acting like an administrative change was such a problem for you."

He just stared at her. She didn't just say that. She didn't think… No. She couldn't think that all any of them – especially him – cared about was getting a new boss. Except her eye hadn't twitched when she said it. She did believe it. "Jenny…" What the hell was he supposed to say?

"Why are you here?" she asked, frowning.

"Well, it's not because I'm upset over a new boss," he shot back, taking refuge in what was left of his earlier anger.

"Clearly. Just pissed at an old partner, I guess," she observed, using his own phrase against him.

"Damn it, Jen!" He raked a hand through his hair. "Do I have to spell it out?"

"Spell what out?"

He crossed the distance between them, putting his hands on her shoulders so she couldn't move back. "Do you have any idea what it's been like, these past months? Damn it, Jen, why didn't you tell me? How could you leave again like that?"

"I… I don't…"

"It's been killing me. I thought I lost you again, only this time for good. I thought you'd died not knowing…" He broke off, shaking his head. He was shaking, trying not to lose control completely. Through that, though, he could feel she was trembling too, her eyes wide and filled with something he couldn't quite read.

"What?" Her voice was soft, uncertain.

"I was telling the truth, that first day. I did miss you. But that wasn't what I almost said, what I almost didn't stop myself from saying."

"And what was that?" she asked.

"What do you think?"

"I have no idea." She knew what she hoped it was, but even if it had been true then, it was too much to hope for now. His hand came up, fingertips lightly brushing her cheek before his fingers slipped into her hair, toying with the crimson strands. Then he cupped her head with his palm, pulling her closer and brushing his lips against hers.

"I love you. As hard as I tried I couldn't stop. And you just keep leaving me. I can't take any more of it, Jen."

"I… I left because I love you. At least this time around. I couldn't stand it if you got hurt because of me. Or the team; that would be almost as bad. Before… I don't know what I was thinking. It made sense then, but now… Now I just don't know." Her voice was shaking, but she was telling him the truth. He kissed her again, harder this time.

"I don't care what you've gotten yourself into, Jen. I'm sticking with you this time. I let you run before, and I'm not going to make that mistake again." Holding her, he meant that. He really didn't give a damn what it was that had made her run.

She'd tell him, eventually. He'd get it out of her, and then they'd deal with it. But at the moment, with her in his arms for the first time in almost a decade, the explanations could wait.

A/N: Ack! Maybe this is a bit too mushy, but it's my first attempt at Jibbs. I'm a bit worried about that, honestly…