Disclaimer: Total Drama is owned by Fresh TV, Teletoon and Cartoon Network while the Nostalgia Critic is owned by Doug Walker of Channel Awesome.
Note: I have been watching other Deviantart users such as xXxFeel-the-LovexXx who has volunteered to do requests for me. Oh, and I am no stalker, watching on Deviantart means your account can acquire images and literature from other users as soon as they upload it and put it in your messages.
The Nostalgia Critic had gotten up and pushed Corey out of the way to do his recap on the Dock of Shame.
"Last time on Total Drama Tween Island," he began, "Jenny wouldn't stop crying! So Corey, one of my interns had volunteered to lift her spirits. By motivating her hormones as a hot human being! How did that happen? He hired two scientists from the future to turn him from dinosaur to human. Wow, the future is cool.
"Anyways, Corey's procedure was working, Jenny had cheered up but it lasts until sundown. Anyways, the Mad Monkeys were fascinated by Victor being able to do gymnastics. Don't think I am not aware of his MPD but I will not tell anyone.
"Anyway, once at Mt. Looming Tragedy, Jenny began displaying authoritarian character which did not seem to affect Aurora. Seriously, she needs to stop using so much make-up. But even as Lauren continuously challenged Li Zhang, the Crazy Crocodiles got all the way to the top even if it meant taming a giant beetle.
"For the second part, Jenny had loosened up. This meant that Lauren sent herself, Li Zhang and Aurora to capture the Crocodiles' flag. But even if they couldn't get past the beetle from before, Malcolm managed to turn Victor into Svetlana only to become Vito as he lost his shirt on impact. Seriously, Vito is an asshole; he did rather cruel things to the other team to get the flag! But that didn't stop Aurora from falling head over heels at him. Anyways, the Monkeys won again and I had sentenced Victor to a ballet recital in a tutu, playing along with the rest. And yes I am aware that he has a tutu ever since Jonny gave it to him.
"Before the ceremony, Corey reverted back into a dinosaur but Jenny didn't give a crap, especially not since Jonny came back to be an intern no thanks to their mother. But in the end, it was Nickolas who had to go. Well at least I won't have to hear any more Superman jokes.
"How will Mari and Abdul cope with Vito? What are the twins going to do now that they are together again? How's Victor's ballet recital going to go? And what will happen if Chris were in charge? Find out right here on Total Drama Tween Island!"
(Theme song; I wanna be famous)
(Mad Monkeys; Guys)
Victor laid in his bed anxious about tomorrow. Malcolm while looking after his digimon took notice of this and approached his friend.
"Hey partner," said Malcolm, "Why the long face? Are you worried?"
"Only a little bit," Victor replied, "I mean I have to perform ballet in front of an international audience, including my father. He's a rabbi you know. And all because of Vito!"
"Look you do not have to worry," Malcolm reassured his friend, "I am fully aware of your condition."
"Oh crap," Victor shouted, "Please do not tell anyone!"
"Do not worry," said Malcolm, "I will not let anyone know of your condition. Why is it you fear that?"
"Because, when I was 7," Victor explained, "my mom took me to ballet classes to please Svetlana and before I knew it, everyone made fun of me. Then one day at the beach, one of the bullies ripped off my shirt and that's when Vito came. He took down those bullies with such force that the authorities nearly took me in. Traumatised by all this, mom banned me from returning to school and dad had to home-school me instead. Uh, mon dieu."
"Oh, that never happened in the Commune," Malcolm said, "we were taught to tolerate everyone in spite of differences or else face penance. If it will make you feel any better, me and my friends, Thomas and Alfred would sometimes dress up in our sister's dresses for the fun of it."
"Thanks dude," said Victor having lightened up, "you are the best."
Confessional: Yes, this world could use more people like Malcolm. You can make it happen!
Victor: After I'm done with this show, mum's thinking of making me enrol in a left wing Jewish private school in Montreal. She's kind of cautious of whether or not the students are nice though.
Malcolm: Yeah, I kind of found out by observing what sets off Chester to give me an idea of how Victor's mind works.
(Mad Monkeys; Girls)
All is well on the girls' side of the Mad Monkeys cabin. Lauren is asleep; Jenny is calmly watching Jonny lie on the top bunk from Aurora and Mari was working on her new outfit.
"Jonny, I know what you are doing," said Aurora, "please stop thinking about me."
"Well to be completely honest, you look really cute," Jonny responded, "I have never seen such beauty as you."
"Yeah, that's what Midori said to you," Aurora retorted, "and yet you turned her down. Besides, I already have a boyfriend. His name is Vito."
"Um, don't you mean Victor," Mari noted.
"Yeah well Victor's cool and all but what really gets me is his Vito impression," said Aurora.
"Aurora you are nuts," Jenny reminded her teammate, "He tried to injure the other team. I'm really worried here."
"Don't be silly," Aurora confidently reminded her leader, "he has charisma. Not like a certain ginger drag queen."
"Oh that is just rude," Jonny retorted, "and I had to turn down Midori, she was an annoying stalker. I just want to know you better."
"Yeah, whatever," said Aurora.
Confessional: Let's face it; Jonny has better luck than me.
Jonny: There is a difference than stalking and simply in love you know. Besides, Aurora is just as deluded.
Aurora: So what if Vito is a foulmouthed hooligan. I can tame him, and when I do I could be awarded for my pacifying spells.
Mari: I'm actually really worried about Victor, he seemed nice but after pulling off that Vito impression, I'm not so sure anymore.
(Crazy Crocodiles)
Abdul was reading his book in bed. Every once in a while he would look up to check up on Jim who was sleeping.
"Oh boy," Abdul said to himself, "it's just me and Jim in this room. He's my least favourite camper here. Well I might as well go for a walk."
Abdul walked out of his side of the Crazy Crocodiles cabin to go for a night walk and not get bored. He wanted to someone to talk to so he cautiously went into the girls' side of the Crazy Crocodiles cabin to talk to Sheila. But instead of being kicked out as he was expecting, he Sheila not caring.
"Hey Sheila," said Abdul, "I came here to say hi if that's alright. Don't hurt me!"
"Well you're lucky I am not changing clothes," Sheila responded looking up from her game, "and I was actually glad you came, Nessie's out looking for oil again."
"That's Nessie for you," Abdul commented, "but tell me, Victor left me at the mercy of the bear. Is he a sociopath or anything or am I overthinking things?"
"Victor is no sociopath," Sheila replied, "right before he knocked me out, I knew right away that it was not him. If you could read minds like me then you'll understand."
"Okay," said Abdul having lightened up, "I might manage to keep together the Children of Abraham after all. I'll go get Nessie."
Confessional: Don't forget, Sheila's psychic. Oooh, scary.
Sheila: I looked into Victor's mind and saw some weird personalities. I will say nothing on the issue as it is a very sensitive topic.
Abdul was walking through the forest looking for Nessie; however the vagineer was spying on him.
"Alright, if I were Nessie, she would be in a hole right," Abdul said to himself right before he fell in a random hole and saw Nessie digging.
"Oh there you are," Abdul said to Nessie, "come on, we have to go back."
"What for," Nessie said rudely, "no way I'm going anywhere without my oil. You're just jealous that your country ran out."
Just then, a hand grabbed Abdul's back; it was the vagineer with its arm extension powers. The Arab boy quickly grabbed Nessie as they were being pulled back up. They instantly ran away back to their cabin.
Confessional: Never underestimate the power of the vagineer!
Nessie: What does Abdul know? I can tell Sheila made him come here and ruin my digging!
Abdul: What Nessie said is half-correct. It is true that the Middle-East has no oil left in the ground but then the Prime Minister of Australia gave the authorities a machine that absorbs carbon dioxide from the air to make new oil. Yes, I know that sounds crazy but hey they never disclosed that to Nessie's homeland, the Caribbean Union, the world's biggest consumer of oil.
The next morning, the campers were having breakfast which was burnt eggs. As usual, Li Zhang sat outside.
"Mari, if you want to wear overalls," Aurora scolded her teammate, "you have to wear them with short legs like I do; it is more fashionable that way."
Indeed Mari was today wearing overalls with a lavender shirt and a grape themed hairclip. "I'm sorry," said Mari, "but I take pride in my creations. It was my creativity that earned me fans."
"Well to be honest," said Victor, "I think you are really cute in that outfit."
Just then, Abdul showed up to discuss something. "Oh hey guys," Abdul said calmly, "I don't know what happened with Vito but Sheila told me this as a chance to maintain this alliance. Victor is not allowed to take his shirt off or else he may do his Vito impression again."
"I do not know if that is going to work Abdul," Victor pointed out, "I have to get changed into a tutu later tonight and that means taking my shirt off."
"Don't worry partner," Malcolm said, "that will be arranged."
Over at the Crocodiles table, Jim would not stop looking at Sheila's newly formed boobs.
"Jim, I know my boobs have just started to grow," Sheila said sternly, "but that is no reason to look at them."
"Forget it," Nessie said cynically, "Jim is a pervert, you can't just tell him to go away."
Once again, Li Zhang was coaxed in by Corey so that the Nostalgia Critic told his daily news.
"Good morning kids," said the Critic, "would you like to hear about today's challenge."
No answer. "Okay, well this one is rather special," the Critic explained, "it involves the night which means it cannot start until 9 o'clock at night. So you are free to do what you want until then.
"Yeah, what about you," asked Aurora.
"I am going to watch all of Nickolas's superhero movies and I am going to have fun ranting about them," the Critic went on, "Therefore, I am very sorry to say this but I am afraid Chris will have to take my place."
This speech was met with endless jeering. "You called boss," said Chris as he appeared.
"Yes I did," said the Critic, "but you are not to do anything challenge related until 8:30pm. Do you understand?"
"Yeah yeah," Chris said casually, "trust me dude, what I come up with will blow your mind!"
Confessional: Uh oh. Him again? Need I remind you what happened last time?
Victor: Free time huh? That's enough time to get changed for my performance and actually do it. I hope Malcolm knows what he is doing.
Lauren: Victor in a ballet tutu? This will be fun.
Jonny: So I hear that the V-man will do ballet.
Jenny: Yeah, just like we did as kids right?
Jonny: Of course sis, but no-one tops me in the crossdressing department.
Jenny: You're right bro, your tucking technique will guarantee your passage as a girl in a gymnastics leotard. The judges even commented on how cute you were.
Jonny: Shut up!
Sheila: Knowing Chris, I am guessing tonight's challenge will be scary as hell (shudders).
Later that day, Malcolm and Victor were in the communal washroom with the tutu on the floor.
"Now remember Malc'," said Victor, "once my shirt is off, the hard part begins. Any idea on what to do here?"
"Just you wait," said Malcolm confidently as he quickly took Victors shirt clean off. That's when the hard part came up.
"Hey yo," said Vito, "what the hell is this place? You take me for a fool?"
"Look I am going to put you into a tutu," Malcolm bravely explained, "and by doing it here, no-one gets hurt."
"Yeah, no-one but you," Vito tried to punch Malcolm but the commune boy dodged and started talking about the history of the modern Olympic Games, "Well let me tell you a story. It was 1896 and Athens was the first host. People all over took part, even those with little experience."
"Really," said Svetlana who had replaced Vito, "tell me more!"
"Well every four years after that, cities all over could host the Olympics with professionals competing except for 1916, 1940 and 1944 which had to be cancelled due to war."
Confessional: You know what would be a good Olympic sport? Any Total Drama challenge!
Malcolm: Here's what I did, as soon as Vito came up I started to tell the entire story of the Olympics from school to bring in Svetlana. That made putting the tutu on her a lot easier.
After a while, Malcolm was huffing from his long story telling but it was all worth it. Svetlana was wearing the tutu from the tiara on her head to the leotard covering the body to the ballet shoes. Svetlana was pleased with her new outfit and hugged Malcolm tightly in response.
"Oh my god mister," said Svetlana excitedly, "this tutu looks so good on me!" She looked in the mirror to admire herself and continued, "Is this for a ballet recital?"
"As a matter of fact it is," said Malcolm.
The other campers were waiting outside the communal washroom for any results. Some were indifferent like Jim, Li Zhang and Lauren while others were praying for everyone to be all right like Mari and Abdul. Eventually, the door opened to reveal what appeared to be Victor, but he was wearing such a cute outfit that no-one cared that it was a boy wearing it. Some like Li Zhang even got a nosebleed, Aurora was squeeing like mad and Jim…
"What a rip-off," Jim shouted, "I was expecting a really hot girl but what do I get, a flat chest?"
"Boobs aren't everything you know," Sheila coldly reminded Jim, "besides, Victor is a boy, he can never get boobs unless he was fat which isn't remotely the case."
"Wow, you really are stupid," Lauren said to Jim.
"No need to admire me," stated Svetlana, "though that is nice. I am here to perform ballet for you all. Especially you Abdul."
"Uh, what," Abdul said confused.
"You and me doing the Nutcracker," Svetlana said dreamily, "it'll be a dream come true. It will be lovely and we get to kiss at the end."
"Uh, yeah," said Abdul flabbergasted.
Confessional: And that ladies and gentlemen will generate lots of Victor/Abdul yaoi fanfiction.
Abdul: Okay, this is just ridiculous. I know Victor is pulling off his Svetlana impression but he's still Victor and he wanted to kiss me like he was my girlfriend.
Svetlana: Abdul is just the absolute cutest thing ever!
Later that night, the campers gather at the amphitheatre for the mind-blowing performance.
"Greetings everyone," Svetlana announced, "Until Chris gets here to conduct the orchestra, allow me to treat you to my opening act.
"Boom-da-boom"
Boom, da boom, boom, boom, da boom.
Boom, da boom, boom, boom, da boom.
Alright, listen up!
It was the middle of the night,
In the middle of a dream,
I was surrounded by water,
Being carried downstream.
When next thing I knew,
I was hanging with Alice in Wonderland!
Chef Hatchet was the drummer of the band!
He goes- Boom, da boom, boom, boom, da boom.
We goes- Boom, da boom, boom, boom, da boom.
Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Who is the fairest one of all?
I'm Prince Charming, and I'm taking Cinderella to the ball!
Zippidy do da, zippidy ey! Yeah-hah!
My, oh my, what a wonderful day!
We got Corey on guitar,
And vagineer's on bass.
With Chef Hatchet on drums,
You know they rockin' the place!
They go- Boom, da boom, boom, boom, da boom!
We go- Boom, da boom, boom, boom, da boom!
Bring it home!
There was a moderate applause.
"Well it is only the opening act," admitted Svetlana when Chris came in, "Hey ya, Chris! You here to conduct?"
"Sure thing brah," replied Chris, "I am going to enjoy this!"
"Good," said Svetlana before turning to Abdul, "as for you, it is time."
Confessional: Did anyone tell you how pretty Victor looked? I am not kidding!
Vagineer: (was laughing uncontrollably).
Corey: That was the biggest mindf^#k I have ever seen!
Chef Hatchet: Just goes to show that even any boy can look very pretty, except for Chris.
Lauren: I know that song. It was from the House of Mouse episode when Pete got the central role.
Abdul: I have little to worry about, I know about the Nutcracker from top to bottom. Why? Because I have been reading the book that's why!
And thus Chris began the recital with the Miniature Overture; Svetlana and Abdul got into position and began to dance.
"Um I am having mixed feelings here," said Aurora, "on one hand Victor is being Svetlana and not Vito which is kind of boring. On the other, Victor looks so cute in that dress! Eeeeeee!"
A while later we got up to the Marche part of the orchestra, it was a little upbeat but a bit calmer than the Miniature Overture.
"Aw, don't those two look so cute together," Jenny said dreamily but then started to wonder, "Hey where the hell is Jonny?"
"He's busy brah," Chris responded without losing his concentration, "now shut up while I do this!"
Then we get to the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy which was rather peaceful yet at the same time a tiny bit energetic.
"You know one of the proudest moments I played here," Malcolm whispered to himself, "was that if it weren't for me and my clever strategy of reciting the history of the Olympics, I would never be seeing this."
Then we get to the Russian Dance which was very upbeat.
"You know this reminds me of Christmas time," Sheila commented, "but here me out; it does not snow in Australia unless it is in the Blue Mountains okay?"
Then we get to the Arabian dance which was very slow-paced and calm.
"Judging from the music here," Nessie thought to herself, "I expect Abdul to enjoy this song."
"You know what else he enjoys? Seeing the West suffer for Iraq and Afghanistan!"
"Let's not bring this up okay!"
Then we get to the Chinese dance which had a moderate pace but not too energetic.
"Hey Li Zhang," Lauren said to the Chinese boy, "you wouldn't happen to like this song would you?"
"Admittedly yes," Li Zhang quietly replied, "and I think I might enjoy it more if you were all extinct."
"Oh, that is harsh," Lauren recoiled.
Then we get to the Dance of the Reed Pipes which was quite fast-paced but no too energetic.
"Oh boy this will be great blackmail material," Jim thought to himself, "Victor is dressed like a girl; he even looks and acts the part, especially when compared to Abdul who is a complete loser."
And now we get to the Waltz of the Flowers which fits as a grand finale.
"When he is not being Vito," Mari thought to herself, "Victor is really nice. He complimented my overalls when Aurora could not. I guess this is payback for shampooing his hair but in any case it made him so much prettier in that tutu. It almost makes me envious that I want to wear that tutu and do ballet in my own right. He is that good. And you know what, he actually looks kinda hot."
Right when the music ended, both Abdul and Svetlana leaned into each other to kiss passionately. Everyone rose and applauded loudly. Just as Svetlana and Abdul parted, Mari in particular squeed loudly and ran up to Svetlana and hug her tightly.
"Oh Victor," Mari was crying, "That was tres bon!"
"Wait it was," said Victor having reverted back, "Well I am glad you enjoyed it! Just goes to show that anyone can have talent."
"Yeah I think we can all agree on that," Chris commented having stepped down from conducting, "but seriously dudes and dudettes, we have a challenge to do! Victor, get back in your normal clothes! You are seriously tempting me take a picture of you to take home."
And that was part one. I really hope you enjoyed it. All of the music for the Nutcracker belonged to Tchaikovsky but I guess it doesn't matter much because he is dead. Oh and go watch House of Mouse if you haven't already.
Next time: The contestants trek through the forest at night. And at the end, Chris pulls a rather dickish move.