Disclaimer: Total Drama is owned by Fresh TV, Teletoon and Cartoon Network while the Nostalgia Critic is owned by Doug Walker of Channel Awesome.
Note: Uh, nothing to say here but my exams are over. That is all.
It is now nearly 9 o'clock and the campers had gathered at the camp centre to see what Chris had come up with. Victor had changed back into his normal clothes.
"Hey, you're Abdul are you," Aurora said to Abdul, "your breath smells nice."
Abdul blushed.
Confessional: While it is cool to brush twice a day, some people do it to clean out the vomit smell.
Abdul: I had to clean my teeth. I have nothing against Victor but seriously, I kissed him! I kissed another guy! And he was in drag! When I get home, I'll be expecting a lot of yaoi between me and him (shudders)!
"Okay campers," Chris began explaining, "the boss said to do a challenge at night. So are you ready for the most terrifying challenge ever?"
No response.
"Ugh, you guys stink," Chris groaned, "Anyway, tonight each team will have to insert a key into a box you retrieve in the spider's cave. But there is a catch; the keys are split in two so you have to find them in the forest and the cemetery." Chris laughed and continued, "Feel free to use the clues given to you at the start of each area. Oh and be careful, there is a huge spider on the loose. If it catches you, you are out! And your team gets penalised for every member lost to the spider."
"Everyone is looking freaked out at that point except Li Zhang who asked, "Anything else?"
"I never thought you'd ask of all people," Chris commented, "all I can say now is that there is a twist at the elimination ceremony. Now go!"
Confessional: And watch out for wood elves while you're at it!
Jim: I'm no wuss unlike the rest. They are weak and will probably fall. And yes, I am a Social Darwinist. Now piss off!
Malcolm: (In a foetal position and sucking his thumb).
The challenge starts and the Crazy Crocodiles run into the forest to find the first half of their key. The Mad Monkeys stay back for some reason.
"You know guys, I am worried about Jonny," said Jenny, "he has not come back from his duties. What if the spider got him?"
"Hey, stop moping," Lauren scolded, "that sort of attitude will get us nowhere!"
"Okay," said Jenny, "Well why don't you lead for once?"
"You wuss," Lauren taunted Jenny, "I will make one order: Sneak up behind the Crazy Crocodiles, and see why they go."
"Alright," said Jenny, "we'll see how that goes." So the rest of the Mad Monkeys ran into the forest after the Crazy Crocodiles. Li Zhang followed in soon after.
Confessional: Let's do this!
Li Zhang: Let me make this clear, I don't like people. But this Lauren girl is quite a competitor.
Jenny: Yeah, even now I worry about my twin brother. Where's Corey when you need him?
Corey: Nice try woman, but I lost contact to the future.
Lauren: Jenny is such a cry-baby. She needs to learn to move on from such things.
While the Mad Monkeys hide in the bushes to spy on the rival team, the Crazy Crocodiles had found a hole with the clue in it. Jim was confident enough to grab the clue only to get bitten by a bear trap.
"Ouch," Jim yelled in pain, "what the hell man."
"Oh yeah. I came up with that one," Chris laughed via the intercom.
We now cut to Chris's trailer where Chris McLean made all of those intercoms.
"Pretty boy, I have to admit that was crafty," said Chef, "but the boss ain't gonna like that."
"I don't care Chef," shrugged Chris, "like the boss is gonna know. He's too busy making rants about all those superhero movies."
Suddenly the phone rang; it was like a head piece that had the function of a mobile phone. "Okay I'll get it," said Chris as he put in on to listen to the caller. After a while of talking, Chris said, "it was the Prime Minister of Australia."
"So," Chef shrugged, "it's just one country. He has no power here."
"He's allied with China," Chris added.
"Okay," said Chef, "what do they want?"
"They have made a joint request slash ultimatum: either we obey or they convince their citizens to boycott this show or even worse send robot troops!"
Outside, Corey listened to every little thing.
Confessional: This looks serious.
Corey: How much power do Australia and China have collectively? They might have enough to influence the entire show. They have guns and masses people!
Clue in hand, Sheila read, "To the North-west, there is a nest. Get past the pest and claim what's needed for the quest. Okay fair enough."
"So we travel north-west, that's easy," said Nessie, "I see Polaris. Come on!"
"I have to admit Nessie," said Abdul, "you have a good sense of Astronomy." He turned back for reminders, "hey Sheila, where are we going again?" But she was not there. "Oh crap the spider got her. Worse, we get penalised!"
"Quit being an idiot go," demanded Jim, "will this tree do?"
What he was referring to was a tree with red and green paint; it had a hollow in it.
"I will assume it is," said Jim, "I'm going in; you stay here."
Jim climbed up the tree to get into the hollow; he was right, it had two key handles: one red square one and one green triangular one. Jim managed to get the latter before being kicked out.
"Ytreporp ym ffo lleh eht teg," shouted the vagineer who just so happened to live there so the Crazy Crocodiles left. But it stayed out in time for the Mad Monkeys to arrive.
"Okay guys, no need to panic," Lauren reassured her team, "the rivals led us here so I might as well get up there."
"But what if the other team wins," Mari wondered.
"So? Once we get the other half of the key, we race them to first place," Lauren strategized when the vagineer's arm reached down to pull her up. But even then it was knocked down due to Lauren's sheer strength as she made it out with the red key handle.
Confessional: Keep going!
Mari: I have to admit, Lauren has charisma. If she runs for president however, I am not sure what she'll do to get her way. Victor on the other hand looks like a mixed bag but he is still cute.
Victor: Is it just me or is Mari looking really cute tonight? Maybe it's the overalls, then again that's Aurora as well.
"Hey Mari, do you think the keys would unlock some treasure or something," Victor was saying when he noticed Mari was not there, "Oh no, I think the spider got her."
"Maybe," Lauren said indifferently, "but we have a challenge to do so I don't care!"
With that, the Mad Monkeys moved on.
The Crazy Crocodiles were heading on to the cemetery.
"Oh Allah," Abdul groaned, "this really boring. I know! Hey guys, wanna see me do ballet like at the recital?"
"No," Jim and Nessie both shouted but Abdul did it anyway only to set off some mines. With his teammates looking at him, the Mad Monkeys slipped by un-noticed.
Eventually, the Mad Monkeys made it. The intercom used by Chris was now saying, "Wow, I'm surprised to mines didn't get you."
"You are starting to freak me out partner," said a timid Malcolm.
"Anyway, just pick up the clue if you want," Chris finished. Malcolm cautiously walked over to where the clue was. He noticed that it was loaded with numbers with the three 6's and a single 18 highlighted red.
"Hey, guys," said Malcolm carefully, "on the not, three of the 6's and one 18 are in red. Does that mean the devil is here?"
"Bull$&#& lanky," Lauren shrugged, "everyone search for clues!"
So the Mad Monkeys were looking for where the clue was pointing except for Li Zhang who had a lot on his mind.
Confessional: Uh oh. We have a spy!
Li Zhang: Remember at the beginning when I said I am above humans? Correction, I hate them so much that I actually want them all dead. Save for Lauren who is kind of fun but everyone else has to go.
When the Crazy Crocodiles made it to the cemetery, they immediately began searching for the blade of their key.
"Hmm maybe it's in here," Nessie said to herself as she opened the coffin to find that the vagineer had apparently migrated there. Nessie called out for Jim but he was gone so the only option now was to run.
As for Abdul, he had accidentally fallen into a grave filled with kitchen grease.
"Ugh yuck," Abdul groaned, "I am covered in cooking oil. And there are maggots in here!"
A while away, Corey was running towards the cemetery. When he got there, he noticed Abdul had fallen into a grave.
"Hey Mr Dinosaur," Abdul called much to Corey's annoyance, "can you help me out here?"
So Corey pulled Abdul out so he can tell some news, "alright, you are probably wondering why I am here. Well if you are let me tell you something. Both Australia and China are threatening to cancel this show if Chris doesn't rig it."
"What," Abdul said shocked, "those two? Are they the rulers of the world?"
"Do not underestimate those two countries," Corey warned, "they can play hard if they don't get their way."
Confessional: Just like the former United States of America with the Middle East.
Abdul: I am only a little bit worried here. Both Australia and China are very powerful. But if my dad bribes them they'll forget about it right?
Victor was looking for the clue's answer when Li Zhang snuck up on him.
"First order of action," Li Zhang thought to himself, "Unleash Vito." He used his staff to rip Victor's shirt clean off transforming him into Vito.
"Hey you," Vito taunted Li Zhang, "you wanna fight?"
Li Zhang immediately started a brawl with Vito. Aurora caught them doing it and, because of her love for Vito, had taken down Li Zhang.
"No-one and I mean no-one hurts my Vito," Aurora said angrily before turning to Vito, "you are safe now."
"Oh thank God," Vito exclaimed, "now if you want to make out with me, you need to prove that you are worthy and I see that you are not. However, I will let you caress my chest."
Aurora did just that. Behind them, Li Zhang was taken away by the spider just as Lauren showed up. But instead of letting everyone else know of Vito, she found the grave that said 'June 6, 1806.'
"Hey, that's what the clue said," Lauren said as she looked in to see two boxes. She inserted the key handle into the square-shaped slot then twisted it to reveal the red key blade. She twisted the blade onto the handle and found that it had started to emit light.
"Okay, you two," Lauren said to Aurora and Vito, "come along. I have the blade; we can go in the cave now.
Soon after, Abdul arrived with his team's handle that Jim dropped and used it into the triangle-shaped slot to reveal the green key blade. He then inserted the blade onto the handle to emit a bright light beam and ran back to Nessie.
Confessional: By key blade, we mean the business end of the key, not the weapon used to fight heartless.
Abdul: I'm going to have to catch up now if my team's going to win.
Aurora: I personally don't care what everyone thinks of Vito; he is hot and has charisma. I personally like that Victor is doing this for me but how does he know? Or does he?
The Mad Monkeys were trekking through the cave with the light on their key to guide them; however Malcolm cannot help but notice that Aurora and Vito were gone.
"Hey, I don't want to bother you but," Malcolm began, "Aurora and Victor are not here. I think the spider got them."
"Don't be silly," said Lauren arrogantly.
"All right I have heard enough," Jenny bravely stood up to Lauren and confiscated the key off the tomboy, "you said your strategy was enough! Now go and find the clue!"
Lauren on Jenny's command ran over to the clue but before she could read it, she got covered in web. Malcolm and Jenny took note of this and ran forward but got captured too and subsequently dropped their key.
When Abdul and Nessie arrived, the cowgirl said, "All right Arab boy," Nessie said, "I'll read the clue, you stay on guard." But while Nessie was reading the clue, Abdul could not help but notice the huge web ahead of him and all of the spider's victims. And the spider itself was there.
"Okay, I don't know who you are," Abdul said readying for a possible fight, "but your treasures are mine!" It was now time for a boss fight. I would suggest playing the boss music from Final Fantasy X before moving on.
Abdul decided to use his key a la Kingdom Hearts and started hacking at the spider revealing some mechanical parts.
"Holy Allah," Abdul muttered, "that thing is biomechanical!" He went on to dodge its venom stab and climbed up the web to set his teammates free but also accidentally Aurora and Vito.
"Since when was Abdul good with swordplay," Aurora wondered before turning to Vito, "Hey Vito, do you mind freeing everyone else?"
"Why should I you junior whore," Vito rudely retorted. Most girls took offence to that but Aurora said, "I will kiss you if you do."
"It's a done deal," Vito exclaimed as he mercilessly ripped through the web to free the others and deal some damage with his fists alone. "There done," said Vito with a sense of accomplishment, "you are now worthy to kiss me." Aurora did just that.
Abdul then took Nessie along knowing the rest could not help them out but not before taking the green box. As for Li Zhang, he had the power to free his teammates but due to his misanthropy he simply took the red key and the red box and high-tailed it out.
The biomechanical spider ganged up on Jenny threatening to take her out. However by finding her inner courage, she simply drop-kicked the thing into oblivion, only to reveal Jonny inside. You may now stop the music.
"Jonny," Jenny said in shock and relief, "is that you?"
"Yes of course it's me sis," Jonny replied, "What did you think I was, a mentally insane Nakia?"
Confessional: To see Nakia's degeneration into insanity, please refer to Cragmiteblaster's Total Drama Letterz series.
Jonny: There you have it. That was my job for the challenge. Still, Jenny didn't have to hit me that hard.
Chris was waiting outside the cave for 'survivors' when he noticed Nessie, Abdul and Li Zhang make it out alive with the keys and boxes.
"And the winning team is the Crazy Crocodiles," Chris announced, "that is because while they lost two members, the Mad Monkeys lost five. What do you have against people bro?"
"They are wild beasts," Li Zhang replied coldly, "that deserved to be hunted."
"I just have one thing to say," said Abdul, "Corey told me that you were going to rig the game or else Australia and China will take drastic action. Is that right?"
"Yeah, you got me" said Chris, "and it involves Li Zhang."
At midnight, all the campers gathered at the campfire ceremony. Corey, Jonny and Chef stood near the flagpoles while Chris stood at the metal drum with a cross expression. In fact, everyone looked at Li Zhang with anger.
"Campers, normally at this point the boss would go yadda yadda about this ceremony," Chris began, "However, the marshmallows needed to make this happen are not here no thanks to Jonny and Corey who ate them all."
As one can plainly see, Corey and Jonny looked drunk from sugar, their bellies were growling and they looked ready to spew.
"But I guess it doesn't matter anymore," Chris continued, "Aurora, care to tell us something?"
"Well we all know that Vito is a madman impression of Victor who I find tolerable at least," Aurora explained, "no-one but me likes him. I have to personally thank Li Zhang for setting him off. Also, he abandoned us with a potential deadly opponent."
"I know those were all my ideas and that your injuries were your responsibility," Chris continued laughing a bit, "Li Zhang did those crimes out of misanthropy which apparently Australia does not like. They've even allied with China to either boycott, cancel or even annihilated this show, if Li Zhang leaves the island without spilling the beans. Seriously, they are that picky."
"Well you know my grandad," Sheila commented, "he tries to see the good in all the people even a prime minister. He just personally could not stand seeing those who hate humanity with a passion."
"Li Zhang," Chris concluded, "For your own survival, will you tell us what is it that caused you to turn your back on humanity?"
Li Zhang's answer was…
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"No I will not."
"Very well," Chris declared, "you shall not leave the island, however you will be relocated to the Crazy Crocodiles team. The boss would like to see a little more team balance at this point."
It was at this moment on Li Zhang was no longer a Mad Monkey but rather a Crazy Crocodile. After this, all of the campers decided to turn in for the night.
Chris went onto the Dock of Shame to give the outro, "Oh my god, that was a great twist wasn't it. But seriously, they could have killed my fortunes. How will the Crazy Crocodiles cope with their hostile new teammate? What is inside those boxes? And when will the boss stop ranting about those superhero movies? Find out next time on Total Drama Tween Island!
And that was the episode. I just wanted to make the plot line similar to Total Drama Revenge of the Island where Brick had to change teams but I also wanted to start a story arc for Li Zhang. You'll understand. Also, the biomechanical spider was Cragmiteblaster's idea, not mine.
Mad Monkeys: Aurora, Jenny, Lauren, Malcolm, Mari, Victor.
Crazy Crocodiles: Abdul, Jim, Li Zhang, Nessie, Sheila.
Eliminated: Midori, Jonny, Nickolas.
Next time: The campers are flabbergasted by a thief. Also, they change into their swimsuits for the next challenge.