Greetings from the abyss. I'm going to apologise in advance for a) my lateness and b) the shortness of this chapter. My inspiration died for a short while, and when it came back, my free time laughed in my face and ran off. For the former, my reason will be known by those who read Bleach. For the latter, work ate me, and I had to help out with the house makeover/drum selling/other misc. activities my parents thought it would be wise to do in the holidays.
IT WASN'T WISE.
So yes, that's my excuses out of the way. And that's all they are... Excuses -_- I'm sorry, I fail.
Untold Despair, the title of Book 3, is indeed the theme that plays when you explore Desian Bases. Congrats to Dieuwtjin who got there first, I'll write you a oneshot if you tell me what you want... And if I know the fandom ^_^". Also well done to DarkMiss 13 for guessing it too, although you didn't win :( Never mind ^^
Disclaimer: I own nothing that I write fanfiction for, except the laptop I use to write it.
Likeaglintoflight: Well, that'd be telling now, wouldn't it? ^^ Heh, you'll find out when they get there. Shouldn't be long now.
Dieuwtjin: Haha, I discovered the copy+paste rather than remembering your name this time... *hides*
Firstly... Oh, how I wish you had been right *cries* And Ganju should have been killed by Byakuya, but he was a good guy. ¬¬ Of all the people to use to say that they do die in Bleach, it had to be Ulqui... *sigh*
Back on topic. Gah gah gah, would you believe that I forgot about the Guardian? *hides* Yeah, there was a break between the start and end of that scene. Real life sucks. Um... Forcystus stabbed it ^^ There, problem solved *shifty look*
Mmm, I'm sorry for both OOC/weird bits. I'm at fault there. I may go back and correct both these and the Guardian thing at a later date.
About the quote, that's Forcystus saying it, sorry if it was a bit confusing... Heh, he's already in pretty deep trouble, and Kratos actually knows about Forcystus' opinion on Remiel. It's complicated.
Long reviews are great! Very few people actually point out where I do things wrong (heh...). I appreciate the criticism.
Symphoniafan: Glad you liked it ^^ Heh, the puzzles in-game don't translate wonderfully to what it would be like in a real-life situation, so I tried to alter it. And sorry if you didn't quiteget things, there's no development on that matter in this chapter...
Dark Miss13: Mmm, I know how you feel about life being a bit suck. It happens to me a lot. I've got work and all sorts to work around *sigh* Thanks for reviewing the last chapter, though! ^^
Game-girl209: Torn is exactly the word for it. And sorry for the late(ish) update -_-
ethargh: Yes... I had :( And I'm still hopeful for an easter-esque reappearence, but I doubt it, somehow. Ah well, he died well. Thanks for the kind review ^^
Book Three: Untold Despair
Chapter One: The City of Ruins
The next day, the group went back to the House of Salvation, with Kratos being strangely silent for most of the journey despite several group member's attempts to talk to him. Lloyd had gone to Forcystus to complain, meaning that the half-elf had to put up with his whinging for the entire walk. Needless to say, he was somewhat irritated by the time they reached the House.
"Lloyd." The teen was dragged out of sleep by Kratos' gentle voice.
"…You talking to me now?" He asked sleepily. Kratos laughed softly.
"I understand my attitude caused you some distress. I apologise," he replied. "I was wondering if you wished to train. However, you were sleeping, so I doubt you will."
"Nah, I will," Lloyd replied, swinging himself out of the bed. "Although I don't get why you're so obsessed with training at night. Do you actually ever sleep?" He saw a flicker of troubled pain in the mercenary's eyes.
"…Of course I sleep," he replied. "I am only human." Lloyd nodded with a yawn.
"Guess so," he replied, grabbing his swords. "But, man, it's late." Kratos hid a troubled look and walked out of the House, Lloyd following fairly sleepily. Kratos seemed to realise this, though, and he didn't push Lloyd too hard, seeming to be content that Lloyd was actually willing to get up in the middle of the night to train.
Kratos stopped him suddenly, a hand over his mouth to stop his cries.
"Not a word," he whispered. "I hear something." Lloyd noticed that his grip on his sword had tightened and nodded, making Kratos release him. "…Stay here," he ordered softly. Lloyd glared.
"Let me help!" He protested softly. Kratos shook his head.
"I do not wish to put you in danger," he murmured. "Don't move. Get back inside." He moved off to the North, Lloyd watching him go out of sight, staying where he was more out of bewilderment than anything else. Why wouldn't Kratos let him help deal with whatever this problem was? Didn't he trust him? Lloyd winced inwardly. Maybe it was because of that incident with the giant plant…
There was a bight white flash in the distance, making Lloyd squint and cover his eyes.
"Kratos…?" He murmured, worried. Whatever that light had been, it couldn't have been good for the mercenary. Maybe he'll need saving for once… Grabbing up his swords from where they lay stuck into the earth, Lloyd ran off in the direction of the light.
He thought he saw a flicker of blue as Kratos turned, slashing out with his sword. He was surrounded by a host of Desians, and by the looks of it was coping fairly well. There was blood on his clothes and running down his sword, but judging by the determined look on his face, none of it was his. Nevertheless, there were rather a lot of Desians for one man to take on. And where had the light come from…?
Lloyd hacked his way through to the mercenary, who saw him with a flash of worry in his rust-red eyes.
"Lloyd!" He exclaimed. "I told you to stay back!" Lloyd shook his head, hacking into a Desian with a determined look.
"I saw a flash of light," he explained. "I was worried about you… I came to help." Kratos started to protest, then, strangely, simply chuckled.
"Typical of you," he murmured softly. "Be on your guard." Lloyd covered Kratos from the back as the mercenary tore into the Desians like a whirlwind of death, moving so fast he practically blurred, followed by a trail of blood from the dead or the dying. Lloyd held his own, but he was fighting simply as he had been taught. With Kratos, it was hard to tell where he ended and his blade began.
Lloyd took a hit eventually – with the amount of Desians there it was inevitable. He didn't see it as much and kept fighting, but when Kratos realised he went to Lloyd – cutting a swath through Desians to do so – and insisted on fighting by his side. Lloyd was reluctant, but he couldn't exactly do anything to turn Kratos away, so they fought together like that.
"You're bleeding!" Lloyd realised as Kratos pulled him back from a potentially nasty slash. The red-haired swordsman was breathing hard, a nasty gash up his arm that didn't seem to have impeded him at all.
"Oh… It is nothing," Kratos brushed it off, glancing down as Lloyd said, letting the boy go. "They will retreat soon. Their morale is falling." Lloyd nodded and continued to fight, but he was confused. It was as though Kratos hadn't even realised he had been hit until Lloyd had said, but a cut that deep would have had to have been noticed. What was going on?
Eventually, as Kratos had said, the Desians ran. Kratos, breathing hard, grabbed Lloyd and inspected the wound he'd taken – a mild gash that was no more than a slight cut on his leg.
"Take more care," Kratos chastised as he healed it. Lloyd gave him a look.
"Hypocrite," he muttered. Kratos chuckled softly, standing up. Lloyd could see that he was weary.
"Let us head back," he murmured. "The Desians were after us… That much is certain. Why they are coming so out into the open… We are close to the Ranch, but still…"
"Forcystus said…" Lloyd started, then realised that perhaps Kratos had meant them, he and Lloyd. "Why would they be after you?" He asked. Kratos looked at him.
"Because I have an old score with Kvar," he responded softly. "One that is as yet unresolved, and will, in all luck, end with his death. He clearly wishes to prevent that by disposing of me in a way that will look accidental."
"Accidental?" Lloyd repeated. "Why would it be accidental? Why would it have to be?" Kratos shook his head shortly.
"It is nothing," he replied curtly, taking Lloyd's wrist and leading him back to the House. Lloyd felt slightly belittled at being led, but he was very tired. He was just concerned that Kratos had forgotten to heal his wound.
He was as bad as Colette, sometimes.
The next day, the group set off for Luin. Kratos had healed the deep gash in his arm and mended his glove, but Raine had still noticed it and was quizzing him about it. Kratos was proving his skill at evading questions.
"Nothing of the nature you suspect occurred, Raine. I caught the fabric and it tore," he told her, his face level. Lloyd was silently marvelling at how easily he could lie.
"Normally I would believe that, but you simply aren't the type!" Raine protested. "What is there in a House of Salvation to catch fabric on, besides?" Kratos refused to reply to that, which frustrated Raine even more. "Kratos!"
"No-one is hurt. Do not concern yourself with me," he told her abruptly. "If anything of a dangerous nature had occurred I would tell you. I desire the safety of this group as much as you do." She gave him a careful look.
"Hmm. Of course," she replied, although she didn't sound convinced. "What were you doing last night?"
"Training Lloyd," Kratos replied frankly. "He needs it." Lloyd glared in his direction when he heard that, but Kratos didn't meet his gaze. "And he is not hurt, so you should not be concerned. I think I can handle myself well enough. I've had many years of practice." Raine sighed and gave up.
"Very well," she replied, leaving the matter for the time being. Lloyd watched Kratos as he walked, a permanent semi-troubled expression on the mercenary's face, until Forcystus put a hand in his shoulder and told him softly to leave Kratos alone.
"I wasn't doing anything," Lloyd grumbled, but Forcystus just gave him a slight smile and repeated his suggestion.
Lloyd frowned as they got closer to Luin, sniffing slightly at a strange smell in the air, one he recognised.
"I'm sure I can smell smoke," he decided, confused. Forcystus looked over in the direction of Luin, a hand over his eyes to shield the glare from the setting sun.
"The sunset on the water really makes it look like it's aflame…" He murmured. Kratos made a shocked noise and glanced up.
"No…" He whispered, aghast, one hand going to his sword automatically. "They didn't…" Forcystus frowned and looked at the town again, having to squint to see what Kratos had apparently seen easily.
"You think…" He started, looking at Kratos, who had gone white – the first time Lloyd had ever seen him truly scared, apart from that incident with the giant plant. What was going on?
"If they have, they…" Kratos started, pure loathing in his voice, the fingers of one hand wrapping around the hilt of his sword with murderous intent. Everyone else was looking confused by now, but Kratos and Forcystus had picked up the pace, leaving them with no option but to follow.
"What's wrong?" Lloyd asked Forcystus as they went. The half-elf's face was grim, mouth set into a thin line.
"Remember Kvar, Lloyd?" He asked as a reply, and that was all Lloyd needed. His eyes narrowed.
"Bastard," he spat, quite frankly. Kratos, despite having heard, didn't think it worth reprimanding Lloyd for his language. Some things you just can't fault. "He wasn't satisfied with murdering my mom, so he has to burn her village, too?" Forcystus caught the haunted look in Kratos' eyes and bit his lip.
"Lloyd…" He started, attempting to placate him, but his blood was up now, he was angry.
"What next? Will he hunt me down like an animal the way he did my mom? I won't let him! I'll kill him before I let him defile my family any further!" He exclaimed angrily. Raine and Genis exchanged concerned looks, and Kratos' hand on the hilt of his sword was shaking slightly.
"Lloyd…" Forcystus tried again, a hint of desperation creeping into his voice now.
"I don't care what it takes, I'll stop him," Lloyd growled. "And… And I'll find my dad, and I'll tell him I avenged mom. I'll tell him that it's alright. Once that bastard Kvar is dead…" Kratos had had to look away at that.
"Lloyd!" Forcystus snapped, resisting the urge to smack him across the face like his Grand Cardinal's instincts told him to, jerking the teen out of his plan-making. "…Please. Calm down," he continued, his tone gentler again. "Going chasing after Kvar would be foolish, and likely a suicide mission with the number of Desians at his Ranch! Don't let your anger drive you to foolery!" Lloyd looked at him – his expression was a strange mixture of worry and resignation - and took a couple of deep breaths.
"…Right," he agreed, the initial surge of anger abating. "…Right." Kratos slowly let go of the hilt of his sword, indents in his fingers from where he had gripped the hilt too tightly.
…My son…
"Holy Martel!" Lloyd exclaimed when they entered the town. The smoke was so thick that it choked the air around them, and there were corpses lying at bad angles over one of the bridges. Lloyd had to repress flashbacks of the blood-red sky of Iselia, the cloying smell of smoke, the cries of terror… Although the destruction here was on a far grander scale, and much more macabre. This time, the red ground was not just an effect of the fire. It had been stained with blood.
"There are cries from the far side of town," Kratos murmured just as Colette was about to say the same, looking around with his usual stoic expression fixed on his face, despite the turmoil he felt inside. "Hurry!" He insisted. Lloyd drew his swords and ran with Kratos to the fountain, although the number of Desians they encountered were few now. Their work had been done.
The fountain's normally clear water was running across the path, tinted red from the blood of those the Desians had slaughtered, and Lloyd's eyes widened when he saw Sheena fighting off a crowd of Desians.
"Sheena!" he cried, concerned, a sick feeling building in his stomach as he thought about what must have happened to the children she had been playing with the last time he saw her here. She tried to say something, but blacked out before she could manage, and Lloyd flew into the Desians attacking her in a rage, moving like a blur, his Exsphere giving off an eerie blue glow in the twilight as he took out all his anger on the surrounding Desians. Forcystus watched with an impressed look on his face, and Kratos joined him, his blade biting into the Desians around him, and soon all of the little group that had been after Sheena lay dead at their feet. Lloyd knelt by Sheena, shaking her worriedly.
"Sheena? Sheena, come on, wake up," he begged. Kratos knelt by him, and Raine rolled her eyes.
"She's an enemy. Kill her now, whilst she's down!" She insisted. Lloyd shook her again, not having heard Raine's words.
"Professor, please, you have to heal her," he begged. "She's so badly wounded!"
"Her wounds are fairly serious," Kratos agreed. "To leave her would mean her death." He stood up.
"This is horrible…" Lloyd murmured. Raine shook her head.
"It could simply be an act to deceive us," she responded. Lloyd shook his head vehemently, and Sheena's eyes opened slightly.
"Professor, please!" He begged. Kratos folded his arms and bowed his head, leaving the decision up to her, and she sighed and walked up, kneeling by Sheena.
"Very well," she murmured, holding her staff over the wounded ninja. Light glowed around her, and her wounds closed up, leaving nothing but dried blood on her skin where they had been. She blinked in surprise, and Lloyd helped her to lean against what part of the fountain wall was still intact. Her summon ran up to her and ran up her arm worriedly, where she idly stroked his head.
"…Why?" She asked, confused, noting the look of worry in Lloyd's eyes.
"…I saw you with the kids, before," he murmured. "You're not our enemy. Not truly. Not in this." Sheena nodded tiredly.
"…The Desians did this," she murmured. "There was no reason, no warning, no sign… They burned the village to the ground, and they took everyone, every man, woman, and child… Those that resisted were killed." She shook her head angrily. "And I couldn't… Do a thing!" She weakly hit the ground with her fist.
"Sometimes, there is not a thing you can do," Kratos murmured softly. "But watch your world fall apart." Lloyd gave him a funny look.
"Do you really think we'll believe that?" Raine responded. Forcystus raised his eyebrows. "That someone who has tried to assassinate this world's only hope of salvation would try to save its citizens?" Sheena looked up at her wearily as Lloyd started to protest.
"Then why did you heal me?" She responded. Raine sighed.
"Ask Lloyd," she responded, walking away in irritation. Kratos put a hand on Lloyd's shoulder to stop him protesting at Raine's words.
"We should search the village for survivors," he murmured. "They will be in need of treatment, too. Raine?" Raine nodded.
"Find a house that hasn't been too badly damaged. We'll move Sheena there, and anyone else that we find…" Forcystus had already headed off.
"The shop's not too badly damaged!" He called back. "No sign of the owners… Which could be good rather than bad, since it means they're likely at the Ranch and saveable rather than dead…" Genis glared in his direction.
"This is what you did to Iselia!" He yelled out suddenly. "How can you stand there and act like it's such an atrocity when you did it yourself?!" Lloyd looked at Genis in shock, and Forcystus looked away.
"…I didn't mean for Iselia to burn…" He murmured.
"But it did! People died, Desian!" Genis spat. "And here you're trying to make Kvar the villain! You're just as much of one yourself!" Forcystus bit his lip.
"This isn't the same…" He started, but Genis shook his head, making an angry motion with one hand.
"It's exactly the same!" He replied. "You attacked Iselia to get Lloyd, Kvar attacked this village to take people to his Ranch! What's the difference? You Desian scum, you're all the same!" Forcystus walked back over quietly, Kratos watching him carefully all the way.
"I won't deny that people died," he murmured, walking up to the water's edge and looking out over the blood-tinted lake. "And I won't deny that I caused a lot of damage that cannot be repaired." He looked at his hands. "These hands are stained with human blood." He clenched his fists and shook his head. "But I did what I could! I never meant for any lives to be lost that day. Kvar intended all of this, and most likely more. I won't deny that I have done evil, that would be foolery." He looked out in the direction of the Asgard Ranch. "But Kvar is evil itself. No good comes from punishing me when Kvar is at fault, and remains unpunished for far more sins than I have ever committed." Genis glared at him, and he turned to look at the young magician. "So hate me!" He told him. "Hate me all you will, I deserve it! I was a Desian, I will always have been a Desian, and the deaths that I caused will not go away. I will be forever haunted by the blood I have spilled. But know this – I regret it. I regret it more than I have ever regretted anything else, even simply watching as my parents were slaughtered, slaughtered by a human, too!" Behind Lloyd, Kratos winced slightly. "Nothing I did was for revenge. Every life is precious, whether human, elf or even half-elf. So many more would have died had I not been in charge. Think not of the deaths I have caused… In some ways they were inevitable. Think instead of the deaths I have prevented… And that I am haunted by those I could not." He started walking back over to the house. "I'll check this quarter." Raine, with a sigh, helped Sheena to her feet and led her to the undamaged shop, Genis rushing after her. Uncertainly, Colette went over to the destroyed bridge and flew over it to inspect the other side. Lloyd looked at Kratos.
"You made a promise," he whispered. Kratos nodded.
"…I will keep it," he murmured softly. "Come." Lloyd nodded, and he and Kratos silently left the ruined city.
A/N - Next chapter is the one I think a lot of you have been waiting for - storming Kvar's Ranch ^^
As a side note - STUPID DESTROYS MY BREAKS. It gets on my nerves something serious having to put them all back in. Seriously. Urgh
Review please, I love them, and you ^^