Disclaimer: Total Drama is owned by Fresh TV, Teletoon and Cartoon Network while the Nostalgia Critic is owned by Doug Walker of Channel Awesome and the AVGN is owned by James Rolfe of Cinemassacre.
Note: I have received a review from SoulfulGinger17 saying that this story is not interesting enough. He said some of my characters are bland. So I intend to expand on them and make them more unique here.
The Mad Monkeys had gathered at their cabin to discuss what to dress Jonny up in.
"Okay guys," Jenny said, "this is my brother we're dealing with. He will wear anything so anything goes. Any ideas?"
"How about Victor's silky tutu," Malcolm suggested dreamily, "it looked so cool."
Victor couldn't help but blush. "Uh, no Malcolm," Jenny refused, "We've already seen it. Anybody else?"
"How about all the outfits Mari has worn thus far in the competition," Aurora suggested.
"How about something we've never seen so far," Mari responded, "I'm in for originality."
Lauren started giggling at the thought causing her teammates to stare at her in confusion. Then she confessed, "Okay fine! I'm a big fan of Vocaloid, much like my mother. It's a program that comes in unique personalities where you make songs from their voices. There's this one song that involves one of the male personalities in a girly outfit."
"What song is it," Mari asked.
"No need for questions," Jenny interrupted Mari, "we only need images of the outfit."
"Sure, it's right here in the gallery of my iphone," Lauren accepted as she showed her teammates pictures of Len Kagamine's magical girl outfit from 'Kagamine Len no bousou.'
Confessional: Product placement FTW!
Lauren: I wasn't kidding back there! My mom was an otaku when she was younger and today still owns some of her Vocaloid programs. And I happen to enjoy those songs. Now piss off, you've heard enough!
Malcolm: Aw shucks! I liked the tutu. It was so soft and silky.
Aurora: As if this show didn't have enough of boys in leotards. If this keeps up it could be on trend!
Meanwhile, in the forest, Nessie was putting some clothes and a bomb in the bag and gluing it together.
"Uh, Nessie," Abdul said cautiously, "What are you doing?"
"What does it look like," Nessie replied, "I throw this bag filled with a tuxedo at Corey and it will detonate putting him in it."
"I don't understand your logic here," Abdul said sceptically, "I mean right now the dinosaur is going ape right now."
He pointed to Corey who for some reason had gotten wild and Jim and Li Zhang are fighting him and each other.
"It doesn't worry me," Nessie said confidently, "it just means that the clothe bomb will make them all civilised."
"I've heard enough," Abdul said fed up, "I'm out of here."
Jonny is just outside the mess hall doing a graffiti of Aurora before proceeding to kiss it. The real Aurora showed up to take some measurements only to see what is happening and puke in response. Nevertheless, Jonny ignored it and Aurora quietly and reluctantly took the measurements and left quickly.
A while later Jonny got bored of making out with his graffiti and saw Abdul who slipped on the puke.
"Aw no," Abdul cried, "I am filthy! I am covered in devil's juices!"
"Relax man, it's only spew," Jonny said to calm the Arab boy down, "so what are you here for?"
"Tell me," Abdul said, "I just want to know what sort of outfit would look best on a rabid dinosaur!"
"Okay relax," Jonny said, "I know exactly what will look awesome on a dinosaur. Are you ready? It's a rock outfit; you know rock and roll right? Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to see my crush."
Jonny left for the Monkeys cabin to see Aurora leaving Abdul to say to himself, "Okay, I don't see much logic in that either but it'll do."
Confessional: Oh, rock and dinosaurs! I get it now!
Abdul: I'm surrounded by idiots. But the good news is my team progress a bit further.
Li Zhang: I don't need anybody's help! It's just me and the damn dinosaur!
Jim: Something seemed off about Li Zhang's eyes. Yeah I took a peek. All the more reason to beat the crap out of him! Hahahahaha!
Aurora: Jonny can be so gross at times! Now to be honest, I think Li Zhang is looking a bit hot.
Back at the Mad Monkeys cabin, the team was hard at work on Jonny's outfit. Jenny was overseeing the project, Malcolm was stroking the blue swimsuit material as if it were a blanket, Lauren was flashing her iphone to remind her teammates what they're making in the first place, Mari was waiting at her sewing machine for templates and Victor was playing Spyro on the Playstation 2. All that was needed was Aurora on Jonny's measurements.
"Oh god this is boring," Lauren complained just as Aurora came in with an off-looking face.
"Oh hey Aurora," Jenny greeted, "How was it? And what's with the silly face?"
"Yeah about that," Aurora began to explain, "Jonny was making out with a graffiti of myself. And I puked on seeing it. Good thing I got the measurements before it went downhill."
She gave the measurements to Lauren who began to translate it to the fabric before continuing, "Also, I have something to say; I think Li Zhang is a bit hot."
The other gasped at this with Lauren saying, "So what, he's opening up a bit all because of me." She then turned to Malcolm and said, "Give me that! I need it," snatching the fabric off the commune boy.
"Well yeah, Li Zhang is misanthropic and could tear you to shreds," Jenny warned, "besides, I thought you liked Vito."
"Well you see, after Lauren opened me up to reality, I have begun to reject the whole bad boy shtick," Aurora continued, "Li Zhang on the other hand is misanthropic which is a different matter. Bad boys abuse others for fun but misanthropes may have been traumatised."
"Well good luck with that," Lauren said as she handed some cut-out fabric to Mari, "I honestly never thought one rant would change an entire person. Maybe I should try that to the principal at my old school. Aurora, maybe I was wrong, you are quite rational. Now kiss me!"
"Aw no way," Aurora shouted in disgust, "I came here for a boyfriend and to demonstrate socialism, not be a lesbian!" The others laughed at this to which a bewildered Malcolm responded, "What's a lesbian?"
"Well put simply a lesbian is a girl who likes other girls as lovers," Jenny explained, "Most girls would love boys though."
A while later, the outfit was assembled just as Jonny walked in to say, "Uh, hi, I came to say something to Aurora to clear things up and…"
The Mad Monkeys were now looking at him cheekily and quickly pounced on him with the outfit.
Back in the forest, Abdul was setting the tuxedo Nessie had set up on fire. Nessie wasn't pleased.
"What the hell are you doing," Nessie shouted, "That tux belongs to my daddy!"
"So? You got glue all over it," Abdul retaliated, "It's not like he'll wear it again after that."
"The glue is machine washable," Nessie kept going.
"Look, just forget about it," Abdul said, "I have a better idea."
At this point, Jim and Li Zhang showed up, the former saying, "Hey, I just lured the dinosaur with the rest of my ham."
"I'll be taking this," Li Zhang quickly said and threw the bag over at Corey and the lot ran away back to the amphitheatre before the bag bomb detonated.
"Say, Li," Abdul said to Li Zhang as they ran, "You cooperated. That's not like you. I'm not saying it's because it's good but seriously."
"I did what I had to," Li Zhang rudely replied, "besides; L opened me up a little bit. But I've had enough of talking."
"Suit yourself," said Abdul.
Confessional: Here's my theory on dino extinction. Poor fashion sense.
Abdul: So L is behind Li Zhang's loosened behaviour. Interesting.
Li Zhang: ^%$# off! That business is between me and L!
Aurora: Li Zhang is hiding something and I intend to find out what it is!
Lauren: Wow. When they said Jonny could look good in anything, they mean anything!
Meanwhile at the amphitheatre, two of the judges, Maxwell and Tina were making out, Midori was shivering in anticipation and the Angry Video Game Nerd hesitantly said, "Oh this is the $#!%s. This is the $#!%s."
"What is wrong Nerd," the Nostalgia Critic said sternly.
"I am just about to see a 13 year old drag queen," the Nerd shouted, "add that to sitting here with you and 3 other jackasses!"
"Just shut up and enjoy the show," the Critic shouted just as Jenny came out of the curtains.
"Uh, hi," Jenny said, "You wanted to see my brother? Here he is." She opened the curtains to reveal Jonny in what appears to be a girls' school swimsuit with white-and-yellow leg-hole frills, blue sailor collar, long detached sleeves, yellow butt bow, black thigh highs and boots and wielding a staff with a Mario mushroom on top.
"So what do you guys think," Jonny said blushing, "now be honest."
"Eeeeeeeeee," Midori squeed, "That is so cute!" She holds up 9.1.
"Intriguing as it is," the Nerd said, "I can see your balls. But I'll go easy on you." He holds up 7.6.
"Uh, you know I tuck," Jonny admitted to the Nerd, "but I guess you can't be fooled."
"Love the outfit," Tina said, "at the end of the day when I have to go, can you give it to me to show to my brother Bob and friend Hannah?" She held up 8.2.
"Sure whatever," Jonny approved.
"What I am seeing here is a spitting image of Len Kagamine's Reckless Drive outfit," Maxwell noted, "I actually thought you were him. Yes, I am a fan of the Vocaloid franchise. It comes with otaku culture." He held up 8.9.
The Nostalgia Critic stalled in his decision, leading Jonny to say impatiently, "Come on man. Am I not original enough for you?"
"Who said anything about originality," the Critic said, "you are still the spitting image of human androgyny." He held up 9.0.
Jonny gleefully got off the stage when he ran into Chris McLean.
"Oh my God," Chris was laughing hysterically, "you look like a wuss!" Jonny frowned at this.
"God damn it Chris," the Critic shouted, "leave him alone! And don't you dare get any ideas!"
"Okay, I won't," lied Chris as he thought of himself in luxurious conditions while using Jonny as a footstool. He then left.
Confessional: PedoChris!
Jonny: I know I have crossdressed before but never like this! I and my sister always wore plain clothes! Also, Tina smells of fairy floss.
Midori: (With a nosebleed) Sorry about this, it just happens. And yes I do know of Vocaloid. Did you know that former digidestined Koshiro Izumi is working on Vocaloid persocoms? It'll be like Chobits and… (cut off by static).
"Now where are the Crazy Crocodiles with Corey," the Nostalgia Critic wondered just as Abdul ran out of the curtains huffing and puffing.
"Sorry Critic… (puff) Corey was proving… (puff) to be very… (puff) difficult. Here he is," Abdul was saying catching his breath when the curtains opened to reveal a still P.O.'ed Corey wearing an Elvis Presley cosplay.
"Oh, what the hell is this," Jonny complained.
"Well you said to put him in a rock outfit and this is the best I could think of," Abdul explained.
"I meant in the style of KISS," Jonny corrected the Arab boy, "that band was badass! But Elvis is lame!"
"Oh sorry," Abdul lamented, "Oh and you dress weird."
"It's okay," Jonny said, "I get that a lot."
Confessional: I'll bet you that the Flintstones had a prehistoric spin on Elvis.
Abdul: Back where I came from, there was no rock music. My parents called it sinful. All I could think was Elvis Presley from observing an old couple.
The judges sat in fear of the rabid dinosaur who was growling and roaring. Initially Corey simply stood there as the judges sat very still.
"Okay guys," the Nostalgia Critic whispered with warning, "do not make any sudden moves."
However, Midori was dreamily staring at Jonny who, along with Abdul, also managed to stand still. Eventually she gave in and said out loud, "Oh screw the dinosaur, only you matters!" And that was it. Corey heard that, roared loudly and ran up to Midori and grabbed her midsection with his teeth and hightailed into the woods.
"Oh that was ridiculous," the AVGN shouted, "she let her lust get to her!"
Suddenly, yet another mysterious figure emerged from the woods. This time, he resembled the RED Sniper from Team Fortress 2, only he had a kukri in his right hand. He then giggled in a sinister manner.
"Hey, what's all the commotion," said Victor as Chester as all the campers arrived at the scene, "can't I get a little peace around here?"
"Wait a minute, I know this guy," Maxwell realised, "That's Christian Brutal Sniper. I know a guy called Larry who's roughly the age group of you guys and he's an Xbox troll. He told me about these things while watching Gmod videos."
Just then, the Christian Brutal Sniper chucked his kukri at all the campers. They all ducked thankfully to dodge it but are now really scared; even Jim, Lauren and Li Zhang don't stand a chance here.
"Uh uh! No way," the Critic shouted as he shot the monster, "not while the show's running. Chris, I told you a hundred times to clean up the %&#$ing island!"
"Fine," said Chris submissively as he went into the woods to clean out some nuclear waste. That was when Chester walked up to the corpse and picked up his fedora.
"Oh look, a fedora," said Chester, "You know back in the old days, us men had to wear these things as proper fashion." He then proceeded to put on the fedora, only to take on a whole new personality.
"G'day mates," Victor's new personality greeted, "Name's Manitoba Smith. How ya doin'?"
"And that ladies and gentlemen is Sheila's boyfriend," the Nerd joked.
"Alright, let's cut the bull$#!%," the Critic requested Manitoba, "do you know where Corey the dinosaur has gone with Midori?"
"Ay, that big ol' bird monster took the beauty to an isolated region," Manitoba explained, "I just know it. Follow me."
The contestants had started to follow Manitoba but Malcolm had to stop because the Critic wasn't following.
"Hey mister," Malcolm asked, "why aren't you coming?"
"Hey, I've got a camp to look after," the Critic responded, "besides, I've made a new challenge: whoever brings Midori back safely wins for their team. God, the lawyers will be all over me!"
With this Malcolm caught up with the others to explain the new conditions.
Confessional: Finally, the first epic challenge! Holy $#!%!
Malcolm: So basically I'm going into uncharted territory without adult supervision? This won't be easy. But then (he holds up a blob of orange fabric) I have this soft fabric to keep me busy.
Jonny: I would have gone to get Midori but apparently the boss wanted ratings so he sent the campers instead. Personally I didn't like Midori because she wouldn't leave me alone. That and I had to give my outfit to Tina.
The contestants were walking through the woods following Manitoba Smith in search of Corey and Midori. However, Jenny had something else on her mind.
"Mr Critic," Jenny was calling, "Mr Critic. God, shouldn't he be with us?"
"Well, yeah," said Mari, "he should protect us."
Soon after, Malcolm showed up with orange clothing in his hand to tell some news, "Hi guys. Sorry I'm late. I just wanted to ask the Critic."
"What did he say," Jenny asked.
"Well he said that he wanted to look after the camp and said some ratings would go up if we competed for the rescue operation," Malcolm explained to which Aurora eavesdropped.
Confessional: Well, it has happened.
Aurora: Ugh! I can't believe he left us for ratings! I'm also a little cross at Jonny right now!
On the Crocodiles, Jim was doing the 'Stop hitting yourself' technique on Abdul to which Nessie threw sand at the bully. Freed, Abdul went to thank Nessie.
"Oh, thanks miss," Abdul said, "Any longer and I would have kicked Jim in the kiwis."
"Look the only thing worse than someone like you," Nessie said quickly, "is bullying. That is the worst."
"Agreed," Abdul said before making a suggestion, "Hey, why don't you try talking to the Mad Monkeys? I understand you don't like sleeping in the same room as me or alone with the vagineer in your mind. So try and convince them to let you in."
"Okay I will," Nessie agreed before walking up to the Mad Monkeys. At first she was unsure who to talk to but eventually settled with Mari.
"Oh hey Nessie," Mari greeted, "what brings you here?"
"Abdul wanted me to make friends with you guys because he felt that I would go crazy alone and that I don't like my team," Nessie explained, "So maybe I could sleep with you guys instead."
"I'm okay with that," Mari said, "we got a lot of games here. But I'll ask Jenny if she approves."
"Cool," said Nessie before dimming down, "Also, we are quite a bad position. Sheila could easily have calmed down the dinosaur but she got voted off and now we are screwed."
"Oh don't worry," Mari comforted Nessie, "We will get this done. Just you wait. Victor is being an awesome leader right now. I wonder why."
Confessional: More bonds FTW.
Mari: If this show had a talent show, I'm sure Victor would demonstrate his ability to be 5 people at once. I still don't know how he does it but I'll wait until it is necessary.
Nessie: The other team has games? I'm very jealous right now. But Mari does seem friendly so maybe it would be good for me. However, I must also uphold my daddy' orders.
Abdul: I really don't want any drama and I felt that Nessie doesn't belong on the Crazy Crocodiles anymore. But I don't want her to leave friendless.
On the other side of Wawanakwa Island, Corey finds an abandoned dock. He was thinking of resting here but he heard footsteps so he took on of the 3 canoes out into uncharted territory. A while later, all the contestants showed up.
"Oh rats," Lauren uttered in frustration, "he got away into open water!"
"No he hasn't," said Manitoba Smith, "that dino-bloke is heading to new lands." He points at the other island which has a skull-shaped cliff.
"Oh no," Jenny shivered in fear, "that's Boney Island. The Critic said something about it. I thought it was a tale." Appropriately enough, the island had a very spooky atmosphere complete with storm clouds and lightning.
"Screw this," said Abdul, "I'm out of here!"
"Here we go again," Jim said in disbelief while holding Abdul back, "running away like a wuss you always were."
"Hey shut up," Abdul retorted, "that place looks like Hell! We could die in there!"
"Not if we stick together," Manitoba commanded, "one canoe takes 5 each. Now let's go!" So most of the Mad Monkeys led by Manitoba Smith took one canoe while Lauren temporarily joined the Crazy Crocodiles and took charge on the second one.
Meanwhile, in the woods of Wawanakwa Island, Kyle was going for a walk. Well actually, he was looking for lost treasure.
"If that cowgirl wanted to get rich," Kyle said to himself, "then two can play at that game." It was then he stumbled across an isolated region with some strange laser cannon.
"Is that a Biomorph 4000," Kyle asked himself as he examined the features, "Oh crap it is! That's how my friend Corey became a human!"
"Hey little dude," said Chris McLean as he came onto the scene.
"What do you want mister," Kyle asked Chris.
"I was sent here to clean up nuclear waste," Chris explained, "But I can't be bothered so I sent the sissy that is Jonny to do it on the false promise of kissing Aurora." He then laughed in an insincere tone.
"You sick bastard," Kyle said insulted, "you better help me out with this thing or else I'll use it to turn you into an earthworm!"
"Okay fine," Chris said, "if you want to know where the contestants are, they're at Boney Island. Apparently Corey has gotten crazy and taken Midori hostage."
"Boney Island," Kyle said shocked, "we have to go there! Corey cannot hurt anyone!"
Confessional: Now outsiders get involved!
Kyle: I barely know the contestants but Corey is better than that! He has to be stopped! Come to think of it, why is he like that?
On the way to Boney Island, all of the Crazy Crocodiles plus Lauren seem to be rowing all right, except for Abdul who, due to seasickness, is spewing off the edge.
"Ew," Nessie said disgusted, "I did not have to hear that."
"Sorry," Abdul apologised, "I'm not good with boats."
"Oh there we go again," Jim said frustrated, "being a wuss like usual. The girl in orange on the other hand looks kinda hot."
"And just what are you talking about," asked Lauren who was slightly offended.
"I'm saying you're hot," replied Jim pervertedly, "and even more so in your swimsuit."
Disgusted, Lauren muttered under her breathe "Oh god," before whispering into Li Zhang's ear, "Teach that pervert a lesson." This prompted Li Zhang to hit Jim with his staff.
"Hey, what the hell mon," Jim winced while rubbing his cheek, "You're going down!"
"Come at me bro," Li Zhang shouted and the two went into an assault. The force of the assault caused the whole canoe to capsize and its occupants to be submerged. They then saw what appeared to be a RED Heavy from Team Fortress 2 and swam away.
Confessional: Oh my god, it's Heavydile!
Lauren: Hey, I only wanted for Jim to stop harassing me, not to face yet another monster! (Her stomach starts to gurgle again).
Abdul: Does the monster like vomit? I don't know.
Meanwhile with the rest of the Mad Monkeys, Malcolm and Aurora were conversing.
"Hey Malcolm," Aurora asked in curiosity, "Why did you bring that cute dress?"
"I brought it because it was nice to the touch," Malcolm replied nervously, "Seriously, that island looks like trouble! I need something to hold onto to for comfort."
"Well if you like it so much," Aurora said cheekily, "why don't you wear it?"
"Maybe I will," Malcolm said naively, "Nothing wrong with that right?"
"Aw you two are so cute together," Mari commented on their interactions, "what do you have in common?"
"Just the fact that we both wear overalls," Aurora replied, "In fact, we have made an alliance called the Dung-a-Reapers. Pretty cool name huh?"
"Hahaha, dungarees," Mari laughed, "But, don't you have Vito?"
"And who is this Vito bloke," Manitoba Smith asked.
"You should know Victor," Aurora said matter-of-factly, "isn't he one of your acts?"
"Oh yeah it is," said Victor having been reverted before realising where he is, "Hey, where are we?"
"Never mind that," said Jenny, "we are already at Boney Island and so is everyone else." We then see that the Crazy Crocodiles in addition to Lauren who walked up to the others.
"Sorry about that," said Lauren, "Abdul was spewing, Jim was being an asshole, our boat tipped over and some monster chased us onto the shore."
"That would be the Heavydile," said Victor having turned back into Manitoba Smith, "But every minute wasted is another step closer to Midori's death. Come, we must venture forward!"
Confessional: Let's go, there's no time to lose!
Malcolm: So it's a dress huh? Why do girls get to wear it here? Outside world culture?
Aurora: Yeah, Vito's fun to look at and all. But now I'm not so sure; Li Zhang is a bit more sociable nowadays. I thank L for this but what caused him to hate other people?
A while into the death trap that is Boney Island, many of the contestants were at best cautious and at worst required a huge load of convincing to keep going. Many of the wild animals such as the giant beavers and monster geese had a few like Abdul running for cover but others took them down like Jim (he thinks they suck), Li Zhang (he was being territorial) and Manitoba Smith who wanted to protect the group. In fact, he punched a giant beaver in the face before it ate a shivering.
"Oh thank you," Mari gleefully said as she hugged Manitoba, "I could have been dead there!"
"No worries my little beauty," Manitoba said back, "and do you look like a shrimp on a barbie. Fantastic. Wink wink." Mari blushed at this.
Aurora, who was watching, sighed as she noticed this and went up to Li Zhang.
"What do you want," Li Zhang asked rudely.
"Uh, yeah I just want to ask you something," Aurora replied, "what is it that made you hate the human race? That's what I would like to know."
"Will you not bring that up," Li Zhang yelled in offence, "That is private business!"
"Well you seem to have no trouble with L right," Aurora retorted.
"Well, that's different," Li Zhang responded, "Now piss off!"
Aurora kept staring at Li Zhang.
Confessional: Ooh. Private business.
Aurora: Looks like the direct approach failed. I will try spy work.
Li Zhang: Aurora has no right to know what I've been through. It was… …horrible!
Meanwhile, in the middle of Boney Island, Corey had Midori latched onto a crucifix, a la Jesus Christ.
"Um, is this for some sort of ceremony," Midori asked but the only response was a roar, "Okay then. Oh, how I wish Jonny was here."
"Oi, you oversized chook," shouted Manitoba Smith as he and the other contestants arrived at the scene, "hand over the beauty and no-one gets hurt."
"Eeeeee! Jonny's here," Midori said before realising something, "Oh, wrong person."
"Oh god this happens a lot," Jenny muttered under her breath.
"Hey dino-face," Jim taunted, "You stink!" Big mistake. An insulted Corey roared and charged after Jim but the Jamaican boy punched the dinosaur and knocked him down.
"You big head wanka," Manitoba scold Jim, "you only made him angrier!"
"I'll handle this," Li Zhang bravely said as he entered the battle field. Upon spotting the Chinese boy, Corey lunged in for a bite but Li Zhang blocked it with his own staff. And thus the battle restarted in the same fashion as the when the challenge began.
"Everyone," Jenny ordered the others, "We have to get out of the way!" They went behind the bush to escape.
Confessional: Now we're talking! Boss fight!
Jim: Li Zhang and I have both done this before. We can do it again!
Li Zhang: Is it just me, or is Corey tougher than before?
Jenny: Back home, a few uneducated people could not tell the difference between me and Jonny. Here's the answer: I have pigtails and boobs and he has a ponytail.
All of those who are not fighting have gathered behind the bush.
"Okay guys," Jenny said, "Something has happened to Corey. He was so nice to me once. What happened?"
"Hey, this isn't about what happened," Lauren said, "It's about how we'll deal with this!"
"I do believe the solution is obvious," Aurora said confidently as she removed both the fedora and the shirt off of Victor turning him into Vito.
"Oh no, he's back," Abdul said fearing for himself.
"Alright, what the hell's going on here," Vito asked, "does Aurora want stare at me or is there someone to beat up." He fiercely faced Malcolm who jumped in surprise.
"Uh, no. There's a dinosaur out there," Aurora explained.
"Okay, time for a punch out," Vito shouted as he confronted the rabid Corey who has pinned down Li Zhang and is attempting to bite him, "Hey you! You want some meat? Well come get some!"
"Hey, this is our battle," Jim said but Corey head-butted him down before charging at Vito. The two got into a fierce wrestle but ultimately Vito threw the dinosaur down.
"And that my friends is how you do it," Vito declared proudly.
"Vito look out," Aurora warned as she had seen Corey get back up. Vito turned around for part 2 but then Corey swung one of his feet right at Vito knocking him back into the bush.
"Did I win," slurred Vito stunned.
"Unfortunately, no Victor," said Mari, "you need to rest a bit."
Surely enough, Victor had gotten a big scratch on his chest; it's not bleeding or anything but it could so Mari put Victor's shirt back on.
"Thanks Mari," said Victor before becoming desperate, "Oh no, this is hopeless!" Then he turned into Chester and began ranting, "Oh for $&# 's sake, think of something! I'm not sitting here all day waiting to become dinosaur food."
"Guys, I never thought I'd say this," Lauren said, "but I'm going in."
"You can't," Abdul pleaded, "You could get killed! Not even Victor as Vito could do it!"
"Who said anything about fighting," Lauren said before looking at the dress Malcolm is carrying.
Confessional: Don't tell me she's gonna do THAT.
Lauren: Tonight, I swallow my pride for I am going to put on a dress to try and arouse Corey. No, I don't want to do this! It's for the good of all of us!
Aurora: Just when we needed Vito, he got his butt kicked! And Lauren in a dress? This will be good.
Somewhere, in another part of Boney Island, Kyle and Chris were pushing the Biomorph 4000 to where Corey is.
"Dude," said Chris who was getting tired, "How much longer?"
"Just a little bit more," said Kyle, "Stop! We've made it! I can see Corey!"
"What is he doing," Chris asked, "It better be the kind that brings in ratings."
"Yes it is," Kyle said deadpan, "he's attacking the other campers!"
"Well, what are you going to do," Chris asked, "Use some of that 2x4 technology?"
"Well, there is a reason we brought the Biomorph 4000," Kyle explained, "If I could turn him into a human, then he might calm down."
Back near the battlefield, "the contestants were eagerly waiting for what's going to come. Eventually, both Aurora and Lauren came out, the latter looking radically different.
"Tada," Aurora said in achievement, "So what do you guys think?"
Sure enough, Lauren was wearing the orange knee-length dress with high heels, gold bangles, orange hoop-shaped earrings and orange lipstick. The dress was showing a bit of cleavage.
"Okay I just have one request for you," Lauren warned, "don't laugh."
No-one did laugh, but Malcolm was having a nosebleed and fell over.
"Aw, you look so cute," Mari cooed.
"I don't want to offend or anything," said Jenny, "but have you put on weight?"
At that moment, Lauren's belly gurgled again, this time it was bulging a bit. Then she said, "No way! I just have gas, that's all! Now let me at him!"
So Lauren came out of the bush to attempt to woo Corey into pacification.
"Hey, hot shot," Lauren said sexily, "you want some of this?" She then did some sexy poses. This only confused Corey and roared again indicating another charge.
Then, from out of nowhere, Kyle managed to operate the Biomorph 4000. The beam hit Corey dead on and he turned into a human. Then almost immediately, he took note of the sexy girl that is Lauren and had slowed down in arousement.
"See," Lauren said triumphantly, "I knew it would work."
"Eeeeeeee! Oh my god," Jenny squeed at Corey's human form, "Corey's hot again!"
"Wait a minute," Abdul said suspiciously, "No-one can spontaneously change species." So he went out while Corey is down to investigate what caused Corey to turn into a human. Lauren meanwhile went up to Midori to free her.
"Hey, you're not Jonny," Midori whined in disappointed.
"Just shut up and let me get you out of here," Lauren silenced the Japanese girl just as Corey got back up.
"Hey, where's the hot girl," said Corey as he turned around and found Lauren, "Oh, here you are! Kiss me!" Corey began to run up to Lauren but then felt something hurt the sole of his foot, "Ugh! Bull$#!%! Stupid glass shard!" And wouldn't you know it he turned aggro again.
Lauren watched in fear that Corey would slash her from the pain but then…
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PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!
A giant stink cloud had engulfed the field. Many plants died from it. The other contestants were blocking their noses to block off the stink.
Lauren opened her eyes again to see that she's alive and that her belly's flat again.
"Woohoo! I win," Lauren cheered, "Now piss off already!"
"Fine," said Midori as she joined the other campers.
What of Corey? Well, let me put it this way: Lauren farted. The gas went full throttle onto Corey's face and was highly concentrated. This caused him to get down, start choking and spew a lot.
Lauren took advantage of Corey's weakened state to finally relieve his pain. "He said something about his sole hurting from a glass shard," Lauren said to herself, "So I'm guessing it must be a glass shard." She took his shoe of to reveal a piece of glass coming out of his foot. She then carefully and gently took it out and that was it.
After a while, Corey got up and noticed his foot wasn't hurting anymore. He then turned around to face Lauren and said, "Oh that feels much better. Thank you hot girl."
"Oh get bent you queer," Lauren said rudely, leaving Corey stunned.
"And the Mad Monkeys win yet again," Chris Mclean announced after popping out from seemingly nowhere, "Arab boy told me everything."
Following Chris was Kyle who began to explain, "The reason my friend Corey became a human was because of some contraption I found in some random location on Wawanakwa Island called the Biomorph 4000. Who knows why it was there."
"Wait a minute, you're that midget from the ice fortress challenge," Jim realised, "and you're the dino's friend?"
"Well of course," Corey responded, "Kyle and I go way back to when we saved your sorry asses from extinction. It's a long story. As for why I got pissed off, I wanted to get something to eat in the kitchen but I accidentally stepped on broken glass. The pain was excruciating enough to send me into a primal rage. I'm sorry for all the pain I caused."
"All is forgiven bro," Chris said, "now all that's left is where did the glass come from. Who knows? Who cares? And to think it all culminated in a few deux-ex-machinas to solve everything!" He laughed at what he said and, surprisingly, so did everyone else.
"Well that settles it," Nessie said in glee, "Now why don't we celebrate with some bugle music." She blew into the bugle to make a call of some sort.
"Um, excuse me," Mari asked curiously, "where did you get that?"
"Oh the vagineer must have dropped it," Nessie said casually, "his loss is my gain."
Unfortunately the celebrations had to stop. For the bugle was actually a tool to summon some weird monster that looked like the torso of the BLU Sniper from Team Fortress 2 with hands coming out the bottom. "Taht saw lleh eht ohw," said the monster.
All of the campers screamed in fear, including Malcolm who had gotten up.
"Oh crap," Corey said, "It's the Snyphurr. A loyal companion to the vagineer."
The snyphurr faced Nessie and said, "retsam ym ton er'uoy." Then it tilted it's body so that its top faced the crowd. And then, "GYAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!"
The snyphurr's red head emerged from the top and the scream was loud. All of the campers ran away but Corey stepped in the line of fire going, "NO WAY," and ended up petrified. Then the snyphurr flew away and Chris and Kyle carried Corey's pertified body back to Wawanakwa Island.
Confessional: Now wouldn't that make for a great horror movie?
Malcolm: That was the scariest thing ever! I want that dress!
Jim: That was the first time besides my father that I have seen anything more intimidating than me.
Nessie: I am not sleeping tonight! Bedlam will be all over me!
Meanwhile back at the camp, the Nostalgia Critic was laying down on the grass.
"Oh man," he said, "this is the life."
A while later, Jonny ran up to the Critic and said, "Hey boss! Look at the pictures I have taken of what the nuclear waste has done."
"What? Let me see," said the Critic as he got up to see the pictures in Jonny's camera. The pictures showed various Gmod monsters such as the heavydile, Christian brutal sniper and vagineer.
"Also I dealt with most of the waste by calling the RCMP," Jonny continued, "that's the local police organisation of Canada."
"Why didn't Chris do it," said the Critic who was getting a bit cross, "I told him a thousand times to do it!"
"Well why don't you ask him," Jonny responded as Chris, Kyle and all of the campers (plus Midori) came back to Camp Wawanakwa.
"Hey boss," Chris greeted, "the Monkeys won again!"
"Oh shut up," the Critic began scolding Chris, "do you want to go back to janitorial duties!?"
"Hey, I also have something to say to Jonny," Aurora said before getting mad at Jonny, "Do you think it's okay to leave Midori at the hands of an angry dinosaur? She admired you but you keep rejecting her and yet you go after me when I don't want you! You called her a hypocrite but what about you!? Huh?"
There was some silence for a few minutes and then Jonny said in a sorry tone, "Oh, I see. I only did because she was annoying me. If it will make you feel any better, I'll just leave you alone." He then walked into the mess hall to be alone.
"Okay," the Critic said just as Chris put down the petrified statue of Corey, "Oh good god! What the hell happened to him!?"
"He saved us from the snyphurr," Kyle explained, "He said glass shards in his foot was making go ape. Where did the glass come from?"
"I'll explain," the AVGN began to confess much to everyone's surprise, "I was having a brawl with the Chef here and I used broken beer bottles to knock him down and land him in the hospital tent. You wanna know why I did it? Because his food sucked ass!" He then ran into the forest.
"Hey, where do you think you're going," the Critic was shouting as he chased the Nerd into the forest.
"Well. I'm out of here," Kyle said as he left.
After a few more minutes, Maxwell and Tina come out of the washrooms after a make-out session when they run into the campers.
"Oh, Maxie," Midori cried as she ran up to Maxwell, "these guys saved me but Jonny was being mean to me."
"Look, maybe he isn't your type," Maxwell suggested, "Come on, let's go." So they both leave for one of the cabins.
"Okay," Tina said, "what's next?"
"How about the time you stuck your head in a cotton candy machine," Jim mocked, "That would have been a hilarious tale!"
"Oh there is a tale for my hair," Tina said slightly offended, "And it most certainly isn't funny! In fact, it's more of a tragedy."
"Well, lay it on us already," Lauren said confidently.
"Okay, here goes," Tina said as she directed the campers to the elimination area to explain the tale, "Okay, are you all ready? Good. You see it all started when my parents were driving and I was in that car playing on my DS. Simple stuff. But then some drunkard sped over and my parents tried to get out of the way! And when they did, our car crashed; only I survived. The impact caused some bleach and cotton candy syrup to pour all over my head! I was then taken in by the doctor. Thank god he came in before long. Unfortunately my parents had died." The campers were already tearing up as Tina continued, "And I was sent over to an orphanage. Some bitch over there named Belle made fun of me over my hair and I nearly hanged myself. Then Bob came and made things all better. Six years on, we finally got adopted, I met Maxwell and that's it." She left to re-join Maxwell and Midori.
Confessional: Saddest backstory ever! Although it did end well.
Li Zhang: You see! This is why I hate people! They make fun of weirdos and minorities; that's all they're good for! And truth be told, I am a weirdo but that's all I'm saying.
Nessie: (crying) Oh my god! That was so sad! (gasps as Bedlam takes over) Finally! I am free! Chaos awaits. (reverts to normal) Wait what the hell?
Later that night, the campers remained as they were. Only Chris and Jonny showed up with nine marshmallows.
"Um excuse me sir," Malcolm asked Chris, "Where's the Critic?"
"Oh, yeah," Chris laughed as he explained, "You see the boss hasn't come back from beating up the Nerd. And since Chef is out for the time being, you will have to improvise like you did this morning. That aside, I have marshmallows to hand out. Will the Mad Monkeys take them?"
The Mad Monkeys got their marshmallows and sat back down. Then Chris said, "And now it's question time for the Crazy Crocodiles. Jim, what was it like to be overpowered by a rabid dinosaur?"
"It sucked," Jim complained, "I'm supposed to be the strongest! This really pisses me off!"
"Ohh, tough language," Chris laughed, "And Abdul, how did you fell about today's adrenaline filled challenge?"
"I personally didn't like it," Abdul said, "it was too much for me."
"Then why did you go up against a giant robot spider two nights before," Jenny asked.
"There were treasures involved," Abdul responded, "it seemed more worth it than some girl."
The other girls growled at Abdul then Chris said, "Okay, as much as I'd like to jeer along with you, it is time to cast the votes."
Confessional: It's voting time!
Nessie (as Bedlam): (She holds up a picture of Abdul) My first order of business: get rid of the Muslim. One by one, they all go down. That's how I'll play.
Abdul: (He holds up a picture of Li Zhang) I'm sorry but you are starting to creep me out.
After the voting was done, the Crazy Crocodiles sat down again.
"I don't think this has to be repeated one more time," Chris said, "but the first marshmallow goes to…"
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"Jim,"
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"Nessie,"
Only Li Zhang and Abdul remained. Then Chris McLean said, "And the final marshmallow goes to…"
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"Li Zhang."
Li Zhang reluctantly walked up to claim the final marshmallow as the flag of the United Arab Emirates was lowered.
"Well. Looks like I'm out of here," said Abdul, "I'd have better luck at the Olympic Games."
The mention of the Olympics had turned Victor into Svetlana who ran up to Abdul as he walked the Dock of Shame, hugged his legs and cried, "No! Don't go! You mean too much to me!"
"Oh Allah, here we go again," Abdul muttered before saying out aloud, "Look I'll be fine. If Midori is alive then so will I when we meet again."
"Fine. Bye then," Svetlana said as she let go and allowed Abdul to board the Boat of Losers which had Midori waiting, Maxwell and Tina making out and Corey's petrified body lying there as it sped off into the distance.
"Don't worry about Corey guys," Chris said, "I'm sure there will be a cure wherever Midori slept at." Then he began to announce something, "Now if you're name is Lauren or Nessie then please stand up."
Both Lauren and Nessie stood up to listen what Chris had to say.
"I have a surprise for the both of you," Chris announced…
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"You are both swapping teams!"
Everyone went, "What," in surprise.
"That's right," Chris explained, "I was kinda bored of the current regime so I came up with this twist."
Lauren had then relocated to the Crazy Crocodiles and Nessie relocated to the Mad Monkeys.
"Also, there will be a slight change in the team names," Chris continued, "The Mad Monkeys are now instead the Mad Marmosets."
The campers sat there confused then Chris continued, "And the Crazy Crocodiles, being loaded with strong campers, are now instead the Crazy Crocosaurs!"
The Crocosaurs cheered at their awesome new team name while the Marmosets groaned.
"How come they have a cool name and we don't," Victor complained as he was reverted, "I'm strong aren't I?"
"Well yeah, under certain circumstances," Chris laughed, "besides, you're boring. Show me your anarchic side that was hinted at the start."
Confessional: An anarchic personality? Who is it this time?
Victor: Okay, I have a confession to make. Before mom made me a home-schooled kid, I was known as the class clown at school. Every once in a while I set off a series of chaos and enjoy while it lasted. Why? Because school was boring! It got better with my rabbi dad as the teacher but I never forgot the funny days. And no, it is not another personality of mine but rather just me.
As all of the campers left for bed, Chris McLean stood on the dock to give the outro.
"Oh boy," he said, "That was an awesome episode! Will the Critic and Nerd calm down? How will the new teams play out? Will Li Zhang's secret finally be revealed? And who will be the next person off the island? Find out next time on Total Drama Tween Island!"
And that was the sixth episode. Now about Abdul, he was actually quite fun to write for and actually played a bit of a role in the story. He was basically the comic relief and I understand if some of you like him but it was time for him to go. Also, I am sorry but Corey will not be making anymore appearances; consider this his epic episode. Now this was the longest chapter thus far and with Chef out of the picture for the time being, the AVGN will have to be the cook; let's see where this goes. If you want a more in depth backstory to Tina, please refer to Baconbaka's Total Drama Dictionary.
Votes
Abdul: Li Zhang
Jim: Abdul
Li Zhang: Nessie
Nessie: Abdul
XXXXX
Abdul – 2
Li Zhang – 1
Jim – 1
Mad Monkeys (Marmosets): Aurora, Jenny, Malcolm, Mari, Nessie, Victor.
Crazy Crocodiles (Crocosaurs): Jim, Lauren, Li Zhang.
Eliminated: Midori, Jonny, Nickolas, Sheila, Abdul.
Next time: Victor plays a few pranks on the AVGN, the green box is finally opened, Malcolm starts stressing over Lauren and Li Zhang and Chris sends them all into a cave.