Disclaimer: Total Drama is owned by Fresh TV, Teletoon and Cartoon Network while the Nostalgia Critic is owned by Doug Walker of Channel Awesome and the AVGN is owned by James Rolfe of Cinemassacre.
Note: I have put up a meme in my Deviantart profile so you can fill it out for my viewing. Also I have finished all of my exams. And now, on with the story.
Jonny stood on the Dock of Shame in place of the Nostalgia Critic and Chris Mclean to give the recap.
"Last time on Total Drama Tween Island," he began, "Nessie was just starting to get used to her new team, the Mad Marmosets where my sister is. And boy were they a bit too crazy for my taste. As for the Crazy Crocosaurs, I managed to talk to Li Zhang a little bit before Lauren convinced him and Jim to be friends with each other. Also they opened the green box to hilarious consequences.
"At breakfast, Victor did what I never saw coming. He pranked the Angry Video Game Nerd, who is the stand-in chef, forcing him to give the campers limited supplies. Speaking of which, right after Li wet my sister no thanks to Jim, the campers were coaxed into a dark mine to find 2 coloured gems within 30 minutes or the whole place fills with lava. No thanks to Chris being a jackass, he and I had to go clean up nuclear waste where I met a monster known as Weaselcake; we became quick friends.
"Inside the mine, there was all kinds of crazy $#!% going on; most notably Aurora being taken straight to the gems after nearly falling to her death via a giant bug known as Noland. However, he held her back to discuss his very geeky interests, among the info involved was Li Zhang's secret. The Crocosaurs soon after got there to get their gem before the Marmosets did right as the mine started to collapse. Malcolm went on to rescue a tired Lauren despite now being on opposite teams.
"In the end, Nessie for some reason rigged the votes to get Aurora out but she's cool with it. She then revealed that Li Zhang had heterochromia, aka mismatched eyes. And I was given the task to investigate some conspiracy as the Nerd overheard Chris mention something sinister which I'm going to do right now.
"How will the Marmosets cope with their first loss? Will the Crocosaurs keep up a winning streak? What will I find relating to the conspiracy? And why am I wearing hot pants today? I just felt like wearing something different, that's all. All the other questions will be answered on Total Drama Tween Island!"
(Theme song: I wanna be famous)
In a dark room, an intern has made a serum that cures petrification and used it one Corey's body. Within seconds he was reverted to his old fleshy self and began to ask questions.
"Thanks so much man," he said, "Now tell me, where am I?"
"You're in the Playa des Losers," said the intern, "All the eliminated campers end up here."
"Great, now I'm gonna look for the TV so I can see Jenny in action," said Corey as he left the room and turned back into a dinosaur. He then walked through the halls to find the TV room until he found it. Unfortunately, someone is already using it.
"Oh for Pete's sake Midori," Corey said in frustration, "I want to watch Total Drama! I'm rooting for Jenny here."
"Oh, sorry Corey," Midori apologised, "I just thought it was time to watch Lucky Star."
"Ugh. Gimme that," Corey shouted as he snatched the remote, paused the anime and changed the channel to Teletoon to watch Total Drama Tween Island, "Yeah, I here they're going in an old mine and meeting my friend Noland. We go a long way. Say, where's everyone else?"
"I don't know," Midori pondered.
(Crazy Crocosaurs)
In the Nostalgia Critic's trailer, Lauren was happily watching Shrek on the TV from the green box while Jim sat there sulking.
"Hey, Jim," Lauren said joyfully, "this movie is quite funny. Why don't you watch it with me?"
"I can't," Jim sulked.
"What the hell's the matter with you," said Lauren, "Oh wait. It's Li Zhang, isn't it?"
"Yeah, you got me," said Jim, "this is practically the biggest step backwards for someone who was doing so well."
"Oh, I see," Lauren realised, "you preferred his misanthropic side. Now I have to admit that being badass is cool but my dad once told me the some of the world's most horrendous mass murderers were misanthropes. I hate to see him end up like that. Hmm, maybe the communist intervention was somewhat of a good thing. But anyway, that racial supremist attitude will not take you far in the competition. No one really likes it."
"Look, I'm only make my dad proud okay," Jim shouted just as Li Zhang showed up with his face stained with tears.
"Hey Li," Lauren greeted, "about time you got here. Have you been crying?"
"Well to be honest, yes," Li Zhang explained, "You see, while I appeared to be hostile on the outside, I was living in fear within and hoping in vain that no-one would ever find out about my mismatched eyes out of fear of 'it' happening all over again. But then Aurora came and exposed me for it; I thought my life lost anymore meaning after that. And you know what? I now think she was right to do it. Now that everyone knows my condition and that no-one thus far has mocked me for it, I guess there do exist good humans after all. But I'm still a tad cautious though."
"I know how you feel," said Lauren in empathy, "where I come from, there existed some sort of apartheid between boys and girls and I practically shattered it. Thankfully by the time I'm done with this show, I should be in a more liberal neighbourhood."
"Yeah, yeah, blah blah blah," Jim mocked rudely, "now let's get some sleep already! I'm tired!"
Confessional: What do humans and onions have in common besides being eukaryotes? They all have layers!
Li Zhang: When Aurora exposed my eyes, I braced for the worst. But it never came so I felt relieved and yet still quite cautious. I have yet to tell the others of my horrendous back story; the key word being horrendous.
Jim: I honestly thought Li would embrace my way of thought for my pa. (I still think he's a bit cool though).
Lauren: Well, Li has opened up now. However I remain conflicted: he looks hot but so does Jenny for some reason. Also, there's Malcolm; he saved me from certain death for crying out loud! That's badass in its own right.
(Mad Marmosets)
Nessie was standing right at the whole she dug; only there was a big chamber being built and connected to the six silos by Kyle alone.
"Woah, what the hell is this," Jonny gasped in shock.
"Oh, you may recognise this as my oil extraction operation," Nessie replied, "I've hired this midget to build it."
Jonny looked horrified and shouted to Kyle, "Hey little guy! Stop what you are doing!" Unfortunately, Kyle was given a shock from a shock collar Nessie forced on him so he kept working. Then Jonny sighed and said to Nessie, "Yeah maybe you should stop this right now. It's just not worth the environmental risk. Anyway, I'm here to investigate a conspiracy involving stuff like that."
"No," Nessie screamed, "It wasn't my idea! It was daddy's request!"
"Relax, it's not for you," said Jonny as he wrote into his notebook in some weird script and Nessie sighed in relief, "It's really for investigating the origin of the nuclear waste on this island. Well it's getting late. We should go back."
"Eh, you're right," said Nessie as the two went back to camp.
Confessional: CSI Wawanakwa! Whoo!
Nessie: Look, I am only doing as daddy said. He needs it for his business and the whole of the Caribbean Union to live! I can't let them down!
Jonny: Thank goodness Sheila's not here, or we'd never here the end of it. Or is it a good idea to have her here? I don't know.
Meanwhile back at the Mad Marmosets cabin, Mari had fallen asleep after making her newest outfit. Jenny had tucked her in before turning to Malcolm who was training his digimon by putting them up with Victor's.
"Hey Malcolm," Jenny said to the commune boy, "What are you doing?"
"I'm trying to get my digimon to digivolve," Malcolm responded, "Their next forms have to look cool right!?"
"Okay, but please give them warm loving care as well for the best result," Jenny suggested, "On a side note, I saw you bring Lauren back from the collapsing cave. What made you do such a heroic deed?"
"Well my pa always said to look out for girls in case they fall behind," Malcolm replied.
"Uh, us girls are stronger than that," Jenny frowned.
"But that's beside the point," Malcolm said defensively, "I think I'm having the hots for L! I couldn't just let here tired body perish in the mine!"
"Aww, that's so sweet," Jenny cooed much to Malcolm's embarrassment when Jonny walked in.
"Hey sis," Jonny greeted, "I went in the woods to uncover a conspiracy involving this show."
"Oh cool," Jenny said facing her brother, "what did you get?"
"Nothing really," Jonny admitted, "But I did put this down regarding Nessie's activities. You can have a look if you want."
"I'll bet she was looking for oil again," Jenny thought as she looked at the notebook only to find that the notes are in a weird script, "Wait a minute. I can't read this!"
"Oh right, I just felt like practicing the Gothic alphabet and language," Jonny apologised, "It just looks fascinating! I'll give it to Noland for translation!"
So Jonny ran out the door to give the notebook to Noland for translation. Immediately, Victor showed up to say, "Hey, sorry I'm late. I was setting up a prank. Check it out."
Victor had directed Malcolm and Jenny over to Chris's trailer which has a bucket on its slightly open door. He then threw a rock at it and hid behind the bush as Chris came out.
"Hey, who did that," Chris said popping out. As he did, he opened the door so wide the bucket fell on his head and he was doused in urine. Victor was left laughing on the floor hard with Malcolm and Jenny doing the same before running back to their cabin just as Chris got the bucket off his head.
Confessional: Attending anime conventions is easy for Victor! He can go as the troll face!
Victor: Yes! Score one for me! That's for Chris nearly exposing my MPD!
Jenny: So that's why he drank 3 whole litres of cola. He then peed into a bucket to have it fall on Chris. Serves that bastard right for injuring me on the second day!
Chris: I don't care who wins anymore! Those kids are going to hell for making me smell of piss! (He gets a terrifying idea) Hahahahahaha!
The next morning, the Nostalgia Critic woke up and got ready for the day. As he was walking outside, he bumped into Jonny.
"Oh hey kid," said the Critic, "What are you doing here?"
"I was looking for Jenny, boss," said Jonny, "she's disappeared for some reason!"
"Is everyone else here," the Critic asked shocked.
"No," Jonny replied, "Also, I hear of some sort of conspiracy that I'm currently investigating. I'll catch up to you later!"
"Sure, do what you want," the Critic said in disbelief as Jonny ran into the woods, "they're probably in the mess hall anyway!" He walked into the mess hall to see no-one but the AVGN in the kitchen and Noland drawing some pictures. "Hey! There's no-one here! What the hell's going on!?"
"That's what I was thinking," said the Nerd, "What kind of asshole would do this $#!%?"
"Don't look at me," Noland said defensively, "I vas deciphering ancient Gothic runes. Unfortunately, I'm not good at writing so I'm drawing it."
"Very well then," said the Critic, "I think I have an idea of who did this."
Meanwhile, all the tweens were sound asleep. Lauren in particular was having a dream.
She was at a party set up by the Nostalgia Critic celebrating her victory of Total Drama Tween Island; she was wearing the dress from the Boney Island episode.
"No need to congratulate me," Lauren said, "I'm proud enough as it is."
"Suddenly, Malcolm walked up to her all cleaned up in a tuxedo and said, "Hey L. How about after this we go to the commune and I show you how we do things there."
"Yeah, if I want to," Lauren said, "But first I gotta take you to Toronto. It is a grand city!"
"L, what are you doing with him," Li Zhang said as he walked up in a hanfu, "I thought you were going to take me to Shanghai."
"Oh, right," Lauren said in realisation, "Oh crap, I don't know what to do here."
"We'll let you decide," said the two boys as they left her alone only for Jenny to appear in a light blue long dress.
"L, what's the matter," asked Jenny.
"Nothing," Lauren quickly said before giving in, "Alright, I'm dating two guys at once. I don't know who to pick without pissing off the other."
"Don't worry," Jenny assured, "Everything will be all right. How about a kiss to make you feel better?"
"Sure, whatev's," said Lauren as she went to kiss Jenny's lips.
Back in reality, Lauren was slowly opening her eyes to see who she was really kissing; it was Riley. Upon seeing this, she quickly pulled out a spat repeatedly.
"Ugh," she screamed, "that was hell gross!"
"Oh that's not very nice," Riley retorted, "And I heard everything! You like another girl on this island when you're a girl yourself. It's okay, I don't judge. If anything I think it's really hot."
"Eww, you pervert," Lauren said in disgust before realising something, "Hey, what you doing here anyway? I thought you were at sea."
"But I am at sea," Riley replied. This caused Lauren to look around and find that she and the other Crazy Crocosaurs were adrift from the island on a raft and the Mad Marmosets were on another.
An alarm clock was drifting by and was ringing loudly causing everyone else to wake up and look around in confusion.
"Hey, why are we adrift at sea," Mari asked.
Suddenly, the alarm clock had a recording inside that said the following, "Good morning you good for nothing campers! Chris McLean here. In the light of one of you pouring a bucket of pee on my head, I have sent all of you out to sea in you PJs. If you want to live, find a way back to the camp. But this is easier said than done as you will see later. Hahaha! No go!"
"Ugh, that Chris," Nessie growled in frustration, "I should have known he would have done this!"
"Yeah, what an idiot," said Victor, "but it was worth seeing him suffer after nearly humiliating us on the second day. Hey look, a hat."
He put on a fedora that was sitting on a side table that was drifting by and turned into Manitoba Smith, "G'day mates. We're out at sea? Nothing I can't handle!"
"Ugh, yeah right," Nessie said impatiently as she took the hat off allowing Victor to revert, "You know, it was fun at first but now it's gotten boring."
"Hey, don't be so selfish," Jenny scolded, "Victor playing as Manitoba is very useful." Malcolm shook his head at Nessie's rudeness.
Confessional: Aw nuts! I thought we got him again.
Jenny: You know, Nessie is starting to piss me off. Has she no sense of group responsibility?
Nessie: So? He was starting to annoy me. Daddy always told me not to trust Australians, especially Sheila.
Malcolm: I don't really trust Nessie at all. Not that she's rude or anything, L can be that too even if I find her hot; I just feel like she might expose Victor's MPD! Now I will explain you the triggers: Vito pops up from shirtlessness, Svetlana pops up from physical challenges, Chester pops up from frustration and Manitoba pops up from wearing a fedora. If I could prevent these triggers outside of challenges, Victor should have an easy time on the island because he's my friend.
Lauren broke a log off the Crocosaurs raft to use as an oar when sharks began to show up.
"Okay," she said irritated, "can you guys please move it!?" They didn't listen. Instead, they bit off the oar, causing her to stare in fear, "Well, looks like we're boned."
"Hey, don't be like that," Jenny said from the other raft, "we may be on opposite teams but we have a common goal: to get back to the island in one piece. No way are some stupid sharks gonna get us! Besides, they can't walk on land."
Unfortunately, Jenny spoke too soon as on peculiar shark did get on the raft; instead of fins it had arms and legs. All the Marmosets panicked and jumped onto the Crocosaurs raft hoping in vain the land shark doesn't follow them. It does.
"Well, we're done for," Nessie said pessimistically as all the campers huddle together waiting for their demise when suddenly, a pod of dolphins came along and chased most of the sharks away. The mutant land shark was unfazed until a certain Australian girl got off one of the dolphins to fearlessly beat it up and send it packing.
"Well, well, well," said Riley, "If it isn't the dolphin queen and her minions! Crud, are they annoying!"
"Damn it," Nessie screamed, "what are you doing here!?"
"Wait a minute," Mari realised something, "Are you Sheila?"
"Yep, you got me," Sheila replied, "I came to save you and take you back to the island. Just follow my lead."
Well, that's part one of episode 8. Sheila's return was such a shocker here, huh? Forget what I said about her story being done, I've more plans for her. So stay tuned!
Next time: Sheila becomes an important part of the game, Nessie's 'schizophrenia' is exposed as is her oil operation and one person is voted off.