Disclaimer: Total Drama is owned by Fresh TV, Teletoon and Cartoon Network while the Nostalgia Critic is owned by Doug Walker of Channel Awesome and the AVGN is owned by James Rolfe of Cinemassacre.
After the Critic left for the mess hall for a latte, the contestants were discussing over what to do for their acts.
"Okay guys," Mari said, "We have half an hour to think about our performances. Mine will be a secret so don't bother asking. I know what I'm doing."
"Well I'm singing," 'Nessie' declared, "Why do you think I'm wearing this dress?"
"I think I might play a few pranks on an assistant of my choice, Kyle," stated Victor much to the midget's shock.
"Why the hell are you going to torture me," Kyle shouted in disbelief, "Or are you being Dennis the Menace?"
"Hah! Dennis the Menace," Lauren laughed mockingly, "That explains the overalls!"
"Okay, I'll tone down the mischief," Victor quickly added, "I'll also do a one man show!"
"As who? Mario," Lauren asked mockingly, "And Mari can be Princess Peach!"
"Bzzz! Wrong," Mari shouted in denial.
"Nice one Mari," Sheila giggled before turning stern at Sheila, "But really now. Stop mocking the competition!"
"Chill out Sheila," Lauren apologised, "I was just joking around! Have a sense of humour!"
"Fair enough but please tone it down," Sheila warned, "Now, I'm off to talk to the boss about my special reward from the last challenge. See yah!"
So Sheila left for the mess hall to talk to the Nostalgia Critic.
Confessional: Tying up some loose ends are we?
Sheila: Let me be honest, I normally don't expect any rewards for my deeds. But this is a competition, the circumstances are different! But I'll be polite.
Lauren: Look, I was trying to be funny here! Sheesh. They can't take a joke.
In the mess hall, the Nostalgia Critic was on the head-phone.
"Hello H&M, I am the Nostalgia Critic, host of Total Drama Tween Island," said the Critic as he talked to a company official on the phone, "Wait, are you saying that pattern was copyrighted by you? Last I checked, no-one really owns swimsuit patterns. Okay, I'll give you $40 million if you lift the copyright."
As he hung up, he was surprised to see Sheila by the door.
"Who were you talking to," asked Sheila.
"Okay, let me tell you something," the Critic tried to explain, "copyright exists to protect the rights of artists to their works yes? When the United States was first founded, the copyright was only 28 years long but it has since been extended not by society or reasonable artists but by greedy companies. They are so weak that a simple bribe will bring them to your authority. That's what I just did here."
"That was H&M," Sheila noted, "they first made this pattern of swimsuit I have on to attract a market for sun safe swimwear. It knows that patterns are public domain, you fell for a prank call."
"God damnit," the Critic screamed in misfortune.
"And I know what you mean," Sheila continued, "Grandad's policies boosted the rise of sun safe swimwear in the PRA. Also in the PRA is a copyright lifeline of 14 years which is still plenty to make a profit even while writing the whole Harry Potter saga."
"Are you done rambling about your stupid country," the Critic interrupted.
"I am now," Sheila said annoyed then calmly said, "What's my reward for winning yesterday's challenge?"
"You can have a camera to film whatever the hell you are doing," replied the Critic as he gave Sheila a video camera.
"Thanks sir," thank Sheila as she left.
Confessional: Go watch CGPGrey's copyright video for more information on the history of copyright.
Sheila: I think I know what to do now.
Back with the others, they continued discussions.
"Okay, since Lauren and I are both wearing leotards," said Li Zhang, "she and I can perform together."
"Really," Lauren gasped at Li's sudden willpower to cooperate, "But you never asked for help!"
"Hey, you're my closest friend here," Li Zhang explained.
"Okay then," Lauren said, "You're on!"
"I'll just lift stuff over 4 times my weight, plain and simple," Jim said confidently, "That just leaves only the hot hippy girl to state her talent."
Just as Jim said that, Sheila had returned with a video camera.
"Okay guys," Sheila explained, "this is my reward. I'm going to use this camera to record myself surfing!"
"Cool," Mari said in excitement, "I knew that!"
"Okay kids, time's up," the Critic announced as he returned from the mess hall, "Jim's talent starts in 5 minutes! Now Sheila, that camera, in addition to recording footage, can link wirelessly to a nearby TV to broadcast footage like if it were a live action show. Just saying. Now get ready!"
Confessional: It's on!
Sheila: Well, that saves on stress. But someone still has to hold it.
Jim: I'm up first! Let's see what I can do with my weight lifting.
Just a few minutes later, most of the campers sat on the bleachers and most of the judges at wherever judges sit in these sorts of things.
"Ugh, dude," Chris groaned bored, "Where's the boss? I wanna see the campers suck!"
"Just hold your horses, pretty boy," Chef shouted at Chris, "he should be here soon. I'm not complaining and neither is the Nerd."
Of course the Nerd was still playing on his 3DS. Just then, the Nostalgia Critic emerged from the curtains.
"Ladies and gentlemen," the Critic announced, "Welcome to our first annual Total Drama talent show! Tonight, we shall witness our campers in decreasing order of age perform some neat talents! First of all is Jim with his weight lifting! He claimed to lift up to four times his own weight!"
He got off the stage to join the other judges as Jim emerged from the curtains to some mild clapping.
"Aw come on," Jim complained, "You guys should be more excited for this!"
"Of course we are," Lauren said, "It's just that we don't like you that much!"
"You will eat those words," Jim proclaimed, "I weigh 50 kilograms! So I should carry 200 kilograms at most! Who will be the first?"
"Why don't you start with Chris," Victor said menacingly as Chef threw Chris onto Jim's arms.
"Chef! This is not cool," Chris protested, "And I'm being carried by a 13-year-old boy! I must look like an ass!"
"Throw the bug on him," Jim shouted to signal Noland's landing on Chris. He received applause for this.
"How is zis possible," Noland asked curiously, "you're a young kid!"
"I exercise a lot," Jim answered, "besides; I have a friend on Facebook who is 11 and can still lift huge weights. She's a goth girl you know."
"Yeah yeah," Noland said sarcastically, "You know I can lizt better zan you. I can pick up 5 tonnes!"
"If that is going to throw me off then it won't work," Jim said proudly, "this is a competition for humans. Throw me the Nerd!"
At that, Chef threw the Nerd onto Noland adding to Jim's burden much to his surprise. At the applause, Jim decided to drop his load and sit down. Noland flew away and Chris and the Nerd sat at the judges' desk.
"That scared the crap out of me," the Nerd shouted, "You can have a six!"
"The score is out of ten," explained the Critic before stating, "You know, weight lifting does exist as a sport so I'll give you a seven."
"You can have a four," said Chris, "Seriously, I got squished!"
"You can have a nine son," said Chef, "You'd do well to lift rubble out of the way for civilians during war."
Confessional: Trust me, wars are that destructive.
Jim: Now I understand Chris's predicament but that was a selfish reason to badmouth me! Oh, and dad, I was being a cyberbully, yeah! (sighs)
"So Jim has 28 points out of 40. Up next is Victor with his one-man show," announced the Critic as Victor got up on stage with Kyle.
"Hi guys," greeted Victor, "Tonight, I am going to impersonate 5 archetypes. Now I must warn you, they are hard to pull off but only through certain cues will I get the motivation; it's complicated. First, I'll do an old man."
Kyle took that as a cue to use his S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R. on Victor's butt causing him to turn into Chester.
"Ow! Hey watch where you're using that thing," Chester yelled in pain causing everyone to laugh, "Stop laughing you whippersnappers!"
Kyle snapped his fingers to turn Victor back to normal. "My apologies," he said, "Once I do get into those acts, I kind of get carried away. Now I will do a gymnast."
"Okay, some trivia," Kyle said on cue, "Which Olympic Games were cancelled due to war?"
At that moment, Victor turned into Svetlana to answer, "The 1916, 1940 and 1944 Games. Now bring on the rings!"
Noland flew in with 2 rings on strings muttering, "Zat vas never agreed on!" Svetlana then promptly did some ring exercises much to everyone's amazement.
"You're a man of many talents, Vicky," Mari thought airily.
When Kyle snapped his fingers, Victor dropped down to say, "Now, I'm going to a hooligan."
"Alright, if you want to do that," said Kyle as he, on cue, jumped on Victor's shoulders to undo the straps and take off his shirt, "you need to do this shirtless. It works best that way."
At that, Victor turned into Vito and angrily shouted, "Hey, get off me!" He threw Kyle to the floor, "You're going down!"
Kyle got out his G.U.M.Z.O.O.K.A. and began rapidly shooting gumballs at Vito who blocked them off with his hand. Then the midget aimed for the crotch area, he was too fast for Vito to react and he fell to the floor in pain, causing everyone to laugh at him. Kyle then put the shirt back on, re-did the overall straps and snapped his fingers.
"Ow, that really hurt," Victor groaned, "I guess Victor Jr. would have to wait. Now I'll do an adventurer."
"Well if that's the case then this hat is unacceptable," said Kyle as he climbed onto Victor's head to replace his orange cap with a fedora to turn him into Manitoba Smith, "That's much better."
All of a sudden, Manitoba began sniffing. "Why do I smell strawberries?"
"Hey, don't tell me you've found my secret strawberry stash," Chef yelled.
"Shut up," the Critic shouted at Chef to shut him up.
Manitoba left for the mess hall to search for the strawberries. After about a minute, he came back with a few in his hand.
Confessional: What other secrets can he reveal?
Chef: Okay. I have been storing away some strawberries for myself. I never thought Victor could smell them out. He would be good at sniffing out landmines during war.
Kyle replaced the hat and snapped his fingers.
"Hey, I just found some strawberries," Victor stated just as Chef snatched them away, "Now I have one more impression: Mario!"
Confessional: :3
Victor: Yeah, that's my fifth alternate personality.
"Itsa me Mario," Victor said 'posing' as Mario as Kyle said the word 'koopa.' He went down to pick up Mari.
"Imma go kiss the princess," 'Mario' said as he went to kiss Mari's lips causing her to giggle and the rest to applause. Then Kyle snapped his fingers.
"Okay Victor, you can put Mari down," said the Critic as Victor did just that, "Your act is convincing to say the least. You get a nine."
"To tell you the truth, it kinda dragged on," said the Nerd, "but I'll give you an eight since you did Mario."
"This warrants an eight," said Chef, "It was very nice to look at but you keep away from my strawberries!"
"To be completely honest Victor, I thought you'd do a little kid who's just starting school," stated Chris.
"Uh no," Victor denied, "Why would you say that?"
"Because you look like that kid," Chris laughed.
"Is this about the overalls," Victor asked angrily, "They were for Mario!"
"Yeah," Chris replies, "You get a six."
"And so Victor has 31 points out of 40," said the Nostalgia Critic as Victor sat back down, "Now wait right here while Sheila gets ready and I take a whizz."
"That was great Vicky," Mari praised her boyfriend.
"I'm glad you like it," said Victor as they both kissed. 'Nessie' watched in curiosity.
Confessional: What is she up to?
Bedlam: Those two look so happy together. It makes me sick! Just a distraction from my plans! I have to find a way to get rid of them, but how?
To pass off the extra time, 'Nessie' had dragged Jim back to the mess hall to discuss a few things.
"Okay Jim," said 'Nessie', "Do you want to know why I brought you here away from the others?"
"I don't know mon," Jim replied.
"We are now in a critical part of the contest," explained 'Nessie', "From now on, anyone could turn on you and vote you off! I won't though because you are so hot to look at."
"Yeah yeah so are you," Jim said rudely, "But I'm not in the mood for romance right now."
"Oh whatever," 'Nessie' sighed, "The point is, we should form an alliance. One that I hope will take us both to the final two. Yeah, I know that means getting rid of my friend Mari but that's really how the game works. You in?"
"Sure, whatevs," said Jim.
Confessional: Uh oh. A real alliance.
Jim: I'll just play along with her little tricks. In reality, I work alone! No white girl is going to tell me what to do in the long run!
Bedlam: That's phase one done. Starting an alliance to protect me. Phase two will involve eliminating Lauren who would reinforce that pair. She is the girlfriend to Malcolm who is one of Victor's friends. Why am I not getting rid of Mari? So as to not look suspicious, that's what!
By the time the two came back, the Nostalgia Critic had returned to set up a big TV.
"Oh, you came back," said the Critic surprised, "Don't say anything because it's my turn! Anyway, our next performer is Sheila who will be surfing. It is being filmed at the beach which explains the TV. Bring it on!"
Suddenly, the TV crackled to life to show Sheila at the beach with her boogie board in her arm.
"Riley, is this thing on," Sheila asked Riley who was holding the camera and he said yes, "Hey ya! I'm about to go boogie boarding. I've always been good with the water and the beach. My grandad always took me to Bondi for exercise and it became a habit. Oh crap, here come the waves! Watch this!"
As the audience viewed the TV, Sheila dived right at the waves with her belly on her board. She performed many tricks such as going over the waves and through them. There were also a lot of dolphins swimming in sync to her movements but in the end she wiped out and then started to play with the dolphins. Then the TV went off because Riley decided to come back.
"Well, that was fun to see," said the Critic, "but I have a feeling Sheila will be hanging out with the dolphins for a while. We will score her when she gets back."
"Okay, some free time," Lauren said excitedly when her stomach gurgled, "Oh crap, I'm hungry. I'll join you later."
Little did Lauren know that 'Nessie' decided to follow her.
At the mess hall, Lauren was looking in the fridge for something to eat.
"Oh crap," Lauren cursed in uncertainty, "What can I eat? It should be hi-carb for gymnastics."
"Need any help," asked 'Nessie' as she just popped up from seemingly nowhere surprising Lauren.
"Hey, what the hell," Lauren quickly said, "What do you want?"
"Just thought I'd help you," 'Nessie' replied, "Just sit down and I'll give you the food."
"Okay, if you insist," said Lauren as she sat down at a table to wait for her snack. Eventually, 'Nessie' came back with 10 red apples.
"Seriously," Lauren asked skeptically, "Just apples?"
"Hey, you said it yourself," 'Nessie' retorted, "You need the carbs for your exercise. Don't come out until you're finished!" 'Nessie' then left Lauren to eat the apples.
"Eh, beats anything," shrugged Lauren.
Confessional: And so 10 doctors left that day.
Lauren: (Holding apples) What? I was hungry. I need all the energy I can get. Though who could eat 10 apples in one sitting? Oh well, who cares?
Bedlam: I plan on ruining Lauren's chances of immunity. She won't be as good at gymnastics on a full stomach.
Meanwhile at the beach, Sheila was laying on the warm sand with the dolphins.
"Wow, I love the sunset," Sheila calmly said to herself as she watched the sun sink into the horizon, "It's always so pretty to look at. Wouldn't you guys agree?"
The dolphins chirped in agreement.
"I thought so," said Sheila as she got up, "Well, I have to get back to camp. The others are expecting me."
Just before she turned around to go back, she noticed from the edge of her field of vision something floating on the water.
"What is that," she wondered, "I'd better check it out."
So she went back into the water and swam to the object with the dolphins following. Up close, it was a makeshift raft with an injured, unconscious minotaur on it.
"Oh crap," Sheila gasped at the state of the thing, "I'll take you back to shore!"
She got the dolphins to carry the raft onshore. After she waved them goodbye, Sheila tried using CPR when a familiar 'land-whale' showed up.
"Hey," Riley said, "You gotta get back to camp or else…" He then noticed the minotaur which had a yellow shirt and blue jeans, "Oh crap! Horace! We gotta take him the medical tent!"
Confessional: Another character!? Oh boy.
Riley: That was Horace the minotaur. He was the voice of reason when we worked with the digidestined. I just hope he's alright.
Back at the stage, Li Zhang was doing stretches for his gym exercise.
"Sheesh. Where is Lauren," Li impatiently wondered, "I can't do this without her! We agreed on it!"
"Don't worry, she'll be here soon," the Critic assured, "She's just getting something to eat. Oh, about time you came back!"
The Critic noticed that Sheila came back with Riley carrying Horace's unconscious body, "Holy $#!%! What is that!"
"He's not dead," Riley insisted, "Just down for a bit."
"Well put him in the medical tent," the Critic quickly ordered before turning to Sheila, "Okay, let's quickly talk about your score. I gave you an 8, Chris gave you a 5, Chef gave you a 7 and the Nerd gave you a 6, totalling up to 26 points out of 40. You cool with that?"
"Yeah," Sheila stated, "I mean, plenty of people can boogie board."
"Good," said the Critic, "Now where the hell is Lauren!"
"I'm over here," Lauren shouted as she came back from the mess hall, "Sorry I took so long. I kinda pigged out over there."
"Yeah I can tell," 'Nessie' tauntingly laughed as she pointed at Lauren's belly which was bloated with apples.
"Oh that," Lauren said as she noticed her big gut, "It's a small price to pay for loading up on carbs needed for gymnastics. Okay, so 10 apples was a bit much. My stomach was hurting like hell but I held it in. Now please, don't expect me to be my best here."
"No need to worry," said the Critic, "We still need to set up the equipment which my interns forgot about!"
"Oh right," Kyle, Chris and Noland realised as they started setting up the equipment.
"Lauren," said the Critic, "You can go with Li to wherever the hell you want and warm up from there."
Lauren nodded as she and Li Zhang went to the campgrounds.
Confessional: Still plenty of time!
Bedlam: $#!%! I was hoping she'd puke! Never mind, she's still gonna be slow.
Li Zhang and Lauren were in the campgrounds stretching. Well actually, only Lauren was stretching as Li had already done his session; he wanted to be with her.
"Hey, Lauren," Li began, "Thanks for helping me out with my social problems. Now I am much less paranoid."
"A good start," Lauren commented as she was stretching her arms, "Next, try telling the former Marmosets." She then sat on the ground for leg exercises but her gut was in the way, "Damn, why did I pig out?"
"Yeah, Mari and Victor, I'm certain those are their names, don't seem to have anything against me so they would seem cool," Li added, "And as for your stomach, I understand having to eat carbs beforehand but isn't two enough?"
"You know what, you're right," Lauren realised as she rubbed her heavy belly, "I might not be as good at gymnastics and my leotard feels tighter; a nice feeling admittedly but I'm thinking. Was Nessie trying to sabotage me?"
"I was getting to that," Li Zhang said annoyedly, "She might have twisted the facts to throw you off. I still don't really trust her. But this is a game so that's to be expected I guess."
"Yeah, whatevs," said Lauren as she did the backward arch stretch, "I just don't see why few else are, or come to think of it were, taking it so seriously. Shouldn't it be a natural human activity?"
"Maybe," Li responded, "or maybe we just wanted to get out of the house for some fresh air. Yeah, I thought what you said too; I was a misanthrope."
"Yeah, Aurora made you change," said Lauren as she got up and walked back to the stage, "Well, I think I'm ready. Are you?"
"When you are," said Li.
Confessional: Warning. Participating on Total Drama may lead to increased competitiveness, questionable morality and being an asshole.
Lauren: I'm not letting a bloated belly ruin my act! And while I think Nessie was taking the game quite seriously now that she's done with her oil business, she should know better than to mess with me!
Li Zhang: Is it just me or does Nessie not feel right at all? Then again I was a misanthrope so I am still a little paranoid about other humans.
Once Lauren and Li Zhang had returned to the stage, they saw that it now had gymnastics equipment.
"Okay, the both of you are doing gymnastics," explained the Nostalgia Critic, "However, to make it interesting, Noland will be mindlessly wandering around dodging you; it would be wise not to hit him."
"Ugh, dummkopf," Noland mumbled as he walked over to the rings. That was Li Zhang's cue to start doing ring exercises. The big bug had to duck while the boy was swinging and jumped off. He then scuttled over to the balance beam. Lauren took this to start doing backflips on it but ended up landing on his head."
"Oops. Sorry," Lauren apologised as she got off holding her cramping belly, "Ouch."
"Ja, ouch indeed," Noland said in an annoyed state as he went over to the parallel bars only for Li Zhang to start going across it on a handstand. By the time he reached the end, he swung down and kicked Noland's head.
"Hey, watch it," Li scolded Noland.
"I vas going to say ze same zing," Noland retorted as he went to the uneven bars. Lauren took this as a cue to start swinging on them. Noland had to duck down every time the girl went low then decided to sleep on the trampoline.
"For our finale," Li and Lauren both announced, "we will do the trampoline!"
"Oh $#!%," Noland cursed as the two started bouncing on it. They were doing somersaults, spins and bumped into each other (intentionally) much to the awe of the audience. Every time they did jump, the shockwaves would bounce Noland up and down much to his displeasure. When he fell off, the two held hands and landed on the foam mat ending the performance to applause.
"Okay, I have to go rest now," Noland said dizzily, "I might barf." He left for the interns' room.
"Well, that went well," Lauren noted as she clutched her cramping stomach.
"Oh no, L is in labour," 'Nessie' jokingly shouted.
"No no," Lauren denied, "It's just your average stomach cramp from strenuous exercise while full. I'll be fine."
"Well you should be in a few minutes," the Critic hoped, "I'll give you both an eight in the meantime."
"You both get a nine," said Chef, "You could easily dodge enemy fire during war."
"Oh enough with the war jokes," Li Zhang winced.
"You can have a seven," said Chris, "I have nothing else to say."
"It's an eight from me," said the Nerd while still playing his game.
"That brings you both to 32 points out of 40, the best so far," said the Critic, "Now sit back down! It's Nessie's turn now!
So Li Zhang and Lauren sat back down confident knowing they're in the lead.
Confessional: What happens if they both win? Will there be a tie breaker?
Bedlam: So, it's Nessie's turn huh? Well I have her body so technically it's my turn. I am also a bit pissed that my sabotage failed! But I can still get rid of Lauren somehow. For now, I have a song to sing.
"Our penultimate player is Nessie," the Nostalgia Critic announced as 'Nessie' got up on stage with a microphone in hand.
"Hi guys," 'Nessie' greeted, "I just wanted to sing a song. Actually, it's more a parody of a popular song my Katy Perry and Kanye West if Noland could sing the male parts."
"Fess," Noland grunted, "I've already taken too much stress! Now I have to sing a song zat is lacking in art value! Okay, here goes."
(Instrumental of 'ET' by Katy Perry and Kanye West starts playing)
Noland: I have ze greater mind,
I saw better games,
Never zought zat, zat it be so lame,
I'm a zinker, Chris ze stinker,
You're ze blinker,
I'm so fed u-u-u-u-up, I no longer give a (cough),
Velcome to ze loser zone,
Get out of ze fantasy,
Zis island sucks so hard I have lost all my sanity,
I'm more zan just an alien,
I'm also an astronaut,
So please stop messing me up or you can never clot!
'Nessie': Jim's so hypnotising,
He could be the devil,
To my holy angel,
He feels magnetizing,
I could begin flying,
Or else I'd be lying,
They are so afraid,
I ain't like the others,
I will be his lover,
Different DNA,
I can understand him.
It's like we're from other worlds,
With different cultures,
You're all human in my eyes,
If you need some help,
Let show you the light,
Bless me, Bl-bl-bless me,
You are all in love and,
Ignoring the poison,
Victor, Vi-vi-victor,
You are a victim,
Of Mari's love abduction,
We are all aliens,
We feel so foreign,
It's so natural,
We're all Terrestrial.
Sheila is like Sonic,
She has too much power,
Over Mother Nature,
Her reach is cosmic,
She must be full of magic.
It's like we're from other worlds,
With different cultures,
You're all human in my eyes,
If you need some help,
Let show you the light,
Help me, he-he-help me,
I need some more love and,
Be rid of poison,
Lauren, La-la-lauren,
You are a victim,
Of liberal abduction.
We all feel like aliens,
We feel so foreign,
But it's only natural,
We're all Terrestrial.
Noland: I vonce vent to Mars,
It's littered with old cars,
On a quest for ze far stars,
So ze spaceship needs ze charge.
All silly dreams, on a crack trip,
Tell me vhat zis, a broken zip,
It'll never close now, I don't know how.
But now you vhat to do, vhat to do, vhat to do.
'Nessie': Look here, lo-lo-look here,
Over there's the love so,
Let's all leave the poison,
Li Zhang, Li-li-li Zhang,
No longer a victim,
Of hatred's reduction.
We are not so alien,
We're not so foreign,
So it's only natural,
We're all Terrestrial (x3).
We are not so alien,
We're not so foreign,
So it's only natural,
We're all Terrestrial.
(You may stop the music)
After the music had finished, there was a big applause from the audience.
"Holy $#!%," the Critic cursed in shock, "That sounded so progressive! You get a nine!"
"You get an eight," said Chef, "That parody should stop the wars. Or maybe not, who knows."
"You can have a nine," said Chris, "It reminded me of Katy Perry, love that artist."
"An eight for you," said the Nerd, "It just sounded nice."
"Nessie, you get 34 points out of 40," said the Critic, "I never expected someone like you to sing that ever!"
"Well that's what happens when you hang out with others who aren't exactly like you," 'Nessie' responded, "It turns into a habit I guess."
"Yeah right," Noland muttered as he left for good.
Confessional: Not as good as Weird Al Yankovich but I'll take anything if it parodies of popular song.
Noland: It sort of started as a rant towards zis island and its effects on ze mind. But zat must have inspired zhat song. I feel a bit better now.
Bedlam: What the hell was that! I can't believe the real Nessie took over again for some reason! I was going to sing something very slutty but… Ugh! Nevermind. I'm still winning.
"And last but not least," announced the Critic, "Princess Mari."
Mari went up on the stage to say, "Alright my friends. I am the princess. I order you to get on the stage!"
The rest of the campers did just that and stood behind Mari in an orderly fashion.
"I have come to announce that the outfits that we are all wearing are all my creation," Mari continued, "My pretty dress included. If you don't believe me then check the cameras."
Confessionals: Ah yes, the cameras never lie.
Bedlam: Oh crap! I forgot about my camera in a hat! I could have just messed with the cameras but the thought never crossed me until now! I was too late! I guess Mari really is a genuine outfit designer.
"Mari. I have come back from the cameras," said the Critic as he returned, "And I can safely say it was a legitimate effort. How do you feel about making seven entire outfits in just six hours!?"
"Well to be honest I have been working on my princess dress for a few days now," Mari admitted, "but all the others were made from scratch! I swear! Now my hands feel numb. Too bad I have to make yet another swimsuit for Lauren."
"Well they all look damn good," said the Critic, "You earn a ten!"
"You can have a nine," said Chef.
"I'll give you an eight," said Chris, "just to be fair."
"You get a nine," said the Nerd, "I could never pull that off."
"And so with a final score of 36 out of 40," the Critic announced, "Mari wins today's challenge!"
Mari squeed at this and kissed Victor in celebration.
"Well done Mari," Victor congratulated, "Who are you going to take to the trailer?"
"You are," Mari said airily leading to her boyfriend blushing. 'Nessie' winced at this but then came up with an idea.
Meanwhile in the medical tent, Riley was looking at Horace's unconscious body when 'Nessie' came in with Jim, Victor and Sheila.
"Um, why are we deciding in here," asked Victor.
"I just felt like it," replied 'Nessie'.
"I just noticed that you sang about us," said Sheila, "Acknowledging Victor's love for Mari, and mentioning my hippy-ism. But you seem to Jim don't you?"
"No! NO! I was just singing," screamed 'Nessie' embarrassed but she was so loud she accidentally woke up Horace.
"Ugh, what happened," Horace groaned as he woke up, "Could you guys keep it down? I'm trying to sleep."
"Okay, I will," said 'Nessie' to the minotaur, "Just where did you come from anyway?"
"Who cares about that," Horace responded, "I just came here to see my friends again but something went wrong. And that's all I'm saying." He went back to sleep.
"Hmm! Anyway, the point is," 'Nessie' suggested, "You should get rid of Lauren. She might be a threat to the game. She competed on a full stomach and she still got a decent score! Granted she would have done better but still."
Both Victor and Sheila had to consider their decision.
Later that night at the elimination ceremony, all of the campers had changed back into their original clothes. Mari had just come back with a box.
"Hey, what's in that," asked Lauren who now has a flat stomach again.
"It's a surprise," teased Mari in a sing-song tone just as the Nostalgia Critic showed up.
"Well, that was an interesting day," said the Critic, "I had never expected a minotaur to show up like this! Okay, bull$#!% aside. I really enjoyed your performances today, and I have just noticed an idea behind them." He looked at Victor who kept his cool. "Alright, the usual questions. Lauren, your stomach was full to the brim with apples! And yet you still did gymnastics! How come you have not puked yet?
"What can I say," Lauren replied confidently, "I am persistent. To be fair, I did a really big crap afterwards."
"Nessie, what inspired you to do that parody?"
"Well it originally was going to be a lot sexier to put it lightly," 'Nessie' admitted, "Noland just seemed to motivate me."
"I vas pissed off," Noland confessed.
"And Sheila. Maybe Jim was right, you do look kind of hot, especially in that swimsuit."
"Shush it," Sheila shouted embarrassedly, "Chris pulled something similar and got his ass kicked."
"Okay, okay, I get it," the Critic quickly said, "just do the voting!"
Confessional: It's voting time!
Bedlam: (she holds up a picture of Lauren): What? You expected me to get rid of Sheila? Nessie tried to pull off emotional voting which is stupid really. I'm just being rational.
Sheila: (She holds up a picture of Lauren): I'm sorry to do this but you came here to take a break from home life. You don't really need the money.
Li Zhang: (He holds up a picture of Nessie) I am sorry but I don't trust you for some reason.
Lauren: (She holds up a picture of Nessie) I am sorry but you tricked me into overeating. My stomach felt really heavy and crampy because of you.
After the voting, the Nostalgia Critic said, "I think you know the drill by now. If you don't get a marshmallow, you are out. The following are safe…"
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"Victor,"
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"Mari, which makes sense as she won immunity,"
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"Jim,"
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"Li Zhang,"
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"Sheila,"
Two marshmallows remained. "And the final marshmallow goes to…"
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"Nessie."
As 'Nessie' went up to get her marshmallow, Lauren sighed as the Canadian flag went down.
"Aw crap," Lauren cursed, "And I was doing so well too. Never mind, I have a new house now. Now please sir, don't put me on the boat; I want to swim behind it."
"Really," the Critic asked shocked, "Why?"
"I just felt like it," replied Lauren, "Now where is the new swimsuit I requested Mari to make?"
"Right here," said Mari as she gave the gift to Lauren. Inside was a black one-piece with neon-green sides, a green swim cap and googles.
"Sweet," Lauren cheered with joy, "let me try it on!" She went into the bushes to get changed into her new swimsuit and came out wearing it, "So, how do I look?"
"Amazing," Mari said, "Malcolm would love to see you in that."
"Oh you," Lauren blushed, "But thank goodness this is more my size. You can have my old one. Goodbye now!"
After the goodbyes, the Boat of Losers went off but Lauren dived into the lake after it following to wherever it's going.
"Okay, that was weird," the Critic continued, "Anyway, Mari and Victor will now sleep with me. Yeah I already know who you'd pick."
"Aw thanks sir," said Mari as she and Victor went off to the Critic's trailer.
"Unfortunately," the Critic continued, "because Nessie had the second most votes, she gets to sleep in the kitchen with Chef. Everyone else goes to the cabin."
'Nessie' hung her head in disappointment as she followed Chef to the kitchen while the other campers went to the cabin.
"Well that was another episode," the Critic did the outro, "And I might have to agree with Li Zhang, she doesn't look right. Will anyone else notice that? Will Nessie get rid of Victor? Will Li Zhang tell Victor and Mari? Will Jim tell them? Find out next time on Total Drama Tween Island!"
And that was episode 10. Now Lauren was an interesting character. She started off cynical and uneasy but then she managed to lighten up from social interaction. She was important to the development of l Li Zhang. All in all, a fun character to write but this is a far as she goes. And P.S. I do not own, 'ET' the song; Katy Perry and Kanye West were the rightful owners; I just did a parody. What, every song has to have a parody.
Votes
Jim: Lauren
Lauren: Nessie
Li Zhang: Nessie
Mari: Jim
Nessie (Bedlam): Lauren
Sheila: Lauren
Victor: Lauren
XXXXX
Lauren- 4
Nessie- 2
Jim- 1
Remaining: Jim, Li Zhang, Mari, Nessie, Sheila, Victor.
Eliminated: Midori, Jonny, Nickolas, Sheila, Abdul, Aurora, Jenny, Malcolm, Lauren.
Next time: Jim and Li open up to more campers. A car based challenge begins.