Title: It's a new day, it's a new life
Author: ESsmich
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. The first chapter follows the 8th epi of Angel season 1, but will be developing completely different.
Rating: T, for now anyway
Pairing: B/A, for now
Back story: Btvs: s1,2,3 - Ats: s1 ( e8 )
Summary: After the fight with the Mohra-demon Angel, now human, saved by Buffy, goes to see the PTB again to ask them to turn him back again...
Spoilers: Angel season 1
A/N: Thanks so much for your comments! I am really thankful! B- )
If somebody wants to be my beta reader, feel free ^^
Chapter two: let's change the time
„What does it mean - „We can't take two lives for another one"?", Angel wondered as he got back on his feet.
If he had his way, he'd loved nothing better than going back inside and asked them what this was about. But he knew, the Oracles wouldn't lend him an ear anyway. Still, he was quite affronted at this moment. „Who do they think they are? What do they mean by it? How am I suppose to help people when they won't let me?"
„Damn it!", Angel shouted as he walked ruffled out of the arch. He needed to cool down, before going back to his office, to Buffy, who was probably waiting for him to return.
When they came back from the saline plant before, Angel told Buffy that he needed to think about stuff and left the office. Of course he wasn't telling her the truth, if she would have known where he was going, she would probably have protested. The last thing Angel wanted was making her angry or worried.
Although he was human now, he just felt more save in the dark right now. He knew, it sounded weird if anybody would hear this fact, but he kinda needed to get accustomed to his humanity again. So he decided to walk back in the cold sewers, trying to calm and find a logical conclusion about what the Oracle's had told him.
…... back at Angel Investigations ...…
Buffy was waiting downstairs for Angel. She was aware of him being complicated and even selfish sometimes, but still she loved him. And now that he had become human again, that both got a third chance, they actually might work their problems out.
As she paced back and forth in Angels apartment, she tried to pay attention on every detail in his little home. He really had a great taste in decorating, she thought. Despite the fact, he got some very old and ancient stuff, which weren't exactly the things Buffy was interested in, he managed to place them in such a way, that it had it's own peculiar charm. She really felt safe and secured down there, though it was kinda empty and lost without him at the same time. That's why she was pacing, hoping he will return soon.
All of a sudden, she was torn out of her thoughts as she noticed footsteps on the stairwell. Cordelia and Doyle were long gone, so it must be him, she thought, while moving towards the stairway.
"God, she looks so damn beautiful", appeared in Angel's mind, while walking down the steps. How much he would like to kiss her and never let her go of his arms.
Unfortunately his facial expression was saying something different, he just couldn't hide his feelings from her. He might have been a good actor, but a bad liar when it involved his Buffy.
"I'm guessing that expression isn't because they were all out of fresh OJ at the deli.", Buffy joked to lighten the situation up. But she realized immediately something was going on. "What happened?", she added worried.
"Nothing happened.", was his very unconvincing answer while going downstairs. "I just ..."
Now Buffy was sure, something happened and she was definitive not going to like it.
"Where have you been?", she asked.
"I went to see the Oracles.", his answer was straight.
She couldn't believe his words. What was he telling her? She was so taken by surprise that she couldn't clothe a thought in words. "What? - Why?", she stuttered.
He was standing a few steps in front of her, looking deeply in her eyes. "Because I wanted to now, why they turned me back. If Mohra was right that others will come and worse."
"Mohra is dead. We killed him.", she said without thinking," Look, they always come and they always will. But that's my problem now, not yours, remember?", she finished visibly upset.
Angel turned his back on her and went in the middle of the room. Only the thought of losing her brought him in uproar "No, I won't just stand by and let you fight, maybe die, alone.", he said, turned back to her.
"So what? You just took a whole 24 hours to weigh the ups and downs of being a regular Joe and decided it was more fun being a superhero?", she asked him directly in disbelieve and anger. How could he be so cruel to her, was she thinking at the same time.
"You know that's not it.", Angel said without averting his eyes of her.
But his words literally inflamed her anger:" So, what is it then? And don't dare saying I would be in grave danger or die. Because this is absolute no excuse anymore. I am in danger every day and seriously, I will probably die younger than most women. Because I am the slayer, it's my purpose. - Truth?"
She continued after a short break: "I bet you'd be somewhere kicking some demon's ass while I'd be stucked in Sunnydale, getting killed by a monster demon.", Buffy spoke bluntly to his face. But before Angel had the chance to form a thought, she went on.
"Would you regret then that you left me once again? Would you regret that you didn't even had the chance to try to save me?", she knew that she touched him in a sore spot. Still, she wasn't finished yet," Do you wanna know what I think? I think you are so scared being with me that you are searching for excuses. I mean why did you left me back in Sunnydale? Oh right, I remember, because I deserve something outside of demons and darkness. To deserve someone who can take me into the light? Well here we go again. So don't come to me with another excuse, I am done with it." she finished her outburst of emotions. Outward the seemed to be really raging, but mentally she just wanted to cry.
"Angel, I don't want this anymore. Either you want to be with me or leave forever, but this flip-flopping? I can't and I don't want to.", Buffy said quietly. Se nearly lost her composure, realizing what she just had said.
Angel was still standing in front of her, but now he seemed to have tears in his eyes. He couldn't think of anything in the moment. He messed it up – again, was the only thing he was aware of. Obviously Buffy waited for him to react somehow, to say something, but he just couldn't. Now he knew how she was feeling. He just felt sorry that it had to come this far.
"Buffy", he began to break the silence.
"Don't, just – don't", Buffy fended off. She just needed to go out of there, how fast things could change. As she reached the stairwell, she noticed Doyle standing in the middle of it. Right now, she didn't care if and what he listened to.
As Buffy had left Angel's apartment, Doyle walked down the rest of the steps, finding Angel standing in the middle of nowhere.
"Man, I don't want to admit, but she was right.", he said with his typical Doyle expression.
"What do you want, Doyle?", Angel answered more or less broken, "Go home"
Doyle didn't go. He was still standing in front of him, trying to understand what was happening.
"Actually I was worried about you two", he explained his appearance ," I mean what happened at the saline plant before? I know it would bother you." Doyle noticed that Angel really didn't pay much attention to his words.
After a short break, he started afresh:"Do you really wanna let her go that easy?" As he was asking, he pointed with his hand upstairs.
Now it seemed that Doyle got Angel's attention at least a little bit. Still, Angel didn't want to talk at all at the moment. "What do 'you know?!", Angel said repulsing while turning his back on him, going to one of the buttresses.
"I know enough to tell, you must be crazy if you'll let this happen! Man, did your transformation grill your brain?", but instead of a satisfactory response, he earned an evil eye. Still, this didn't keep him from going on "I am serious, Angel. Think about it for a second. She is all you've cared about in the last years and now, where you have actually the chance to give her all what you wished her, you just wanna give it away? I'm sorry, but this makes no sense. When this isn't what you have wanted all the time, then what is it?"
Angel didn't response. He was standing at the buttress now, bracing his hands against it. "What the hell am I doing right now?", he thought, before desisted from the wall.
Suddenly Angel hit the buttress hard with his left hand. "Damn it", he shouted annoyed at himself.
Originally Doyle wanted to give him a little smile when Angel seemed to calm, but now he was more surprised by Angel's action.
"Ouch! Didn't that hurt?!", he asked kinda staring at Angel's fist.
"It did", Angel answered. His fist really burned like hell, but he dissembled his emotions quite well. There were too many stress- hormones in his blood vessels than feeling the pain right now.
Doyle felt like he needed to bring the situation under control, obviously Angel wasn't able to handle his emotions right now. "I'd suggest, before you are going to finish your apartment off, you should go to Buffy? - She is still upstairs."
Angel faced Doyle and asked with a questioning look: "How do you know?"
"Well, let's say "demon"."
"Right", Angel admitted, still don't moving.
"So? Go, talk to her.", Doyle finally requested.
…... Upstairs ...…
Buffy had her head leaned against the cold windows in Angel's office. She was wondering, when he would finally come upstairs to talk to her. She knew, he would.
But that hadn't changed her feelings, she was hurt, deeply. He had hurt her more than once, but this time he nearly topped it. And that ached even more, he was only human for a day and already messed it up.
A small tear was running down her face as Angel finally reached the upper level. He saw her standing in the shadows, only lightened by the moonlight.
"I thought you wanted to leave? Why did you stay?", he asked quiet with a very soft voice.
"I – I can't leave you", Buffy responded calm, but her voice wasn't stable.
She realized that he regretted what he said, she wasn't sure if she also felt sorry about what she told him. In a way she did, but on the other hand, she believed she was right.
"At least she speaks to me", Angel thought. He wasn't sure what to do next. In all those years, he experienced a lot, but this was completely new to him. Sure, he had a lot of fights with Darla and Dru, too, but this was a different shoe.
He walked slowly to the window at which Buffy was standing.
"I'm sorry", he apologized deeply. He could have added so many other things, however he was sure that quietness was the best right now.
"I know", she responded while facing him now.
Both were directly standing in front of each other, unable to move. After a moment of total silence, Angel raised his right arm and laid his hand on her cheek, removing softly her tears.
"So,", Buffy finally broke the silence, "you won't leave me?", she asked full of hope.
Angel looked her deep in her beautiful green eyes: "I won't", he promised.
With that, he slowly moved to kiss her. Of course, Buffy abandoned herself entirely as the kisses began to intense.
All of a sudden the last minutes were completely forgotten. Everything they were sensitive to were the hugs and kisses, attaching their bodies together.
Angel brought her closer to him unwilling to let her ever go of his embracement again. As the kisses became more passionately, their bodies seemed to meld. Buffy's hands were buried deeply in Angel's dark hair as she felt his intense kisses on her lips. It was an unbelievable feeling, he did had let the world disappeared around her before, but now, him being human, it was just indescribable. Angel also noticed the same excitement, he touched every single part he could reach. He wanted her, he needed her, he just couldn't live without her anymore. She was his dream come true. At this moment he thanked the PTB for not turning him back.
Angel wanted to bring Buffy downstairs, but definitive not to catch up on some sleep.
"Doyle?!", he shouted after his friend, not letting up on his Buffy. "Doyle, where are you?!", he repeated impatient.
"Pretend, I never showed up. I am on my way to leave!", Doyle said abrupt while hurrying upstairs "See you tomorrow", he said, rushing off the office.
Now there was nothing else, which could keep Angel from showing Buffy how much he loved her.
As he guided her downstairs, both were too much into each other, than paying attention to the stairs.
As they arrived Angel's apartment, he finally let of her, but only to look into her eyes.
"I love you Buffy."
Innerly Buffy couldn't be more happier, but right now she just had to tease him:" You know, it doesn't count, when we're going to have sex."
"Then I will tell you tomorrow", he smiled.
"So we won't have sex tomorrow?", she went on teasing him with a big grin.
Without saying something they continued immediately where they left off.
As he was kissing her neck, making their way to his bedroom, she began to take his shirt off...
A/N: sooooo … I managed to post my first update *yey ^^ … although I have an exam on thursday :$
I hope, my grammar is not that bad … I try to get better ;P